Chapter Text
Eyes forward, chin up. Just keep walking.
Draco felt his posture go even more rigid than usual as he walked briskly through the corridor of the dungeons. Silence filled the cold air save for the rhythmic brushing of the expensive fabric of his trousers, and the echo of two pairs of footsteps trudging towards each other. He had been holding his breath ever since rounding the corner and catching sight of emerald eyes peering out past a mop of dark disheveled curls. As soon as he made eye contact he gasped in his breath, averting his gaze immediately. Quickening his pace, he tried to focus his attention on just getting past. He had returned to Hogwarts for his eighth year a month ago and so far every interaction with his former school rival/worst enemy/deepest darkest secret/boy he’s been madly in love with for longer than he cared to admit Harry Potter, has been at best painfully awkward and at worst horrifically embarrassing.
He tried not to cringe, remembering Harry being of course nothing short of incredibly kind and understanding when returning his wand after defending him in court. Their fingers had brushed when he reached for it, and he could’ve sworn he’d been shocked. He flinched so hard he dropped the wand, quickly bent down to grab it only to bump hands again with Harry who of course had bent down immediately too to grab it for him. This time the shock was less intense but felt almost pleasant. He flushed and dropped the wand AGAIN. He snatched it up before Harry could oh so helpfully try to reach for it and finally managed to hold a firm grip on it, standing back up quickly. Harry gave him a sheepish nod and went to turn away. But Draco had been so flustered by seeing this boy who had only ever given him sneers and glares look up at him through those long dark eyelashes that would be the death of him and have the audacity to look sheepish .
He’s not proud to admit it.
But he dropped his wand again.
He stared on in mortification as Harry quirked a brow, gave him a lopsided smile, then bent down to retrieve it, stepping into Draco’s space and slipping it directly into the front pocket of his coat. With a quick smirk, he turned and walked away.
Draco thanked all the gods he could think of that Harry didn’t look back over his shoulder, because he had stood there frozen for an embarrassingly long time.
That was roughly how most of their limited interactions had gone since then. Otherwise, they mostly just avoided each other as much as possible. Which, when alone in bed late at night, Draco would let himself sit in the deep frigid ache he felt in his chest, as deep as the space between them. But it was fine. He was managing. He had to.
Keep looking forward. Almost there. You’re almost past him.
But his brain disobeyed him. Before he could help it, his eyes shifted to the face that was now only a couple meters in front of him, coming from the opposite direction. He felt his heart thump rapidly in his chest and heat rush to his face, as he struggled to pull his gaze away from those familiar eyes. But he couldn’t. Something was different. Something was wrong . His eyes were red and puffy, and the bags underneath them were deep and dark. They looked dim. They were missing their usual spark, he’d never seen them without their spark. He allowed his head to turn only slightly to maintain their gaze before forcing himself to look ahead and finish walking past, finally taking a deep breath and immediately regretting it as his nose was filled with the earthy familiarity he knew to be Harry. He could kick himself for what he could already sense his body beginning to do. Fucking traitor.
“Hey, Harry.” He heard himself calling out as he spun around to face the boy, watching his back stiffen as he shoved his hands into his pockets and slowly turned.
“Oh, er… hey, Draco.”
“I just wanted to-” He started, but froze.
What did he want to say?
“Well I-” He tried again, voice catching in his throat.
Oh this was going great.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly after clearing his throat.
The mask faltered for a split second behind Harry’s eyes, before solidifying, stronger this time.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You don’t gotta worry about me.” He mumbled, before dropping his head and walking away.
Draco’s heart sank. He couldn’t stand to see him like this. He’d been noticing these changes of course. For as much distance as they kept, he still couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off him whenever he was near. In the classrooms or the dining hall, he would watch as Harry would give empty laughs to some joke his friends made, or stared blankly at nothing while everyone chatted around him. It was disheartening to say the least. But now, seeing that look in his eyes, Draco felt helpless, unsure of how he of all people could even make a difference.
Draco scurried through the open field, body partially obscured by the tall grass, whiskers twitching at the various scents all around him, deciding which way he wanted to go. He flicked his tail decisively then leaped in the direction of the nearby lake, seeing a large tree by the shore that could provide him with some much needed shade and perhaps a snack.
This was his favorite area to play in when he was in ferret form. It had been humiliating and terrifying when he had been turned into a ferret in fifth year. And yet, after he was turned back, he found himself missing it. He felt so much more in tune with his primal drive as the ferret. More present, taking in the world around him. He didn’t need to worry so much about his future or dwell upon the hurt from his past. It was freeing. He ended up spending his limited free time throwing himself into a secret research project on becoming an animagus. It took him a full year to complete, but had come at the perfect time. His seventh year had been nothing short of a real life night terror. His only reprieve was when he could manage to sneak away to be in his ferret form, though he never dared turn around Voldemort and his creepy snake, he knew the risk that put him at. So instead he spent most of his time in ferret form frolicking on the grounds at Hogwarts. It soothed him.
Today wasn’t any different. He was feeling particularly stressed after his run in with Harry the day before and needed to blow off some steam. He traipsed through the tall grass towards the giant oak he had his sights on, but froze once he got close enough to hear a strange sound. His hair stood up slightly and his ears pricked. Listening carefully, he realized it sounded like sniffling, and… was someone crying? He thought perhaps he’d better go find another tree to shade himself under and pivoted to do so when he heard what sounded like a fist being pounded into the ground.
“Fuck!” He heard the familiar voice exclaim in teary frustration.
Harry?!
He scampered towards the tree without further thought, little eyes taking in the scene before him. Harry sat beneath the large tree, looking very small, despite being much larger than Draco in his current form. He had his knees pulled to his chest with his arms wrapped around them, and he was clutching his hand, grimacing. His face was soaked with tears and his eyes were puffy like he’d been crying for a while. The ferret’s nose began to twitch rapidly as it was filled with the irony scent of blood. He moved closer until he was right next to the boy’s shoe, finally catching his attention.
“Oh!” Harry exclaimed, surprise cutting through the teary gravel in his voice. “Hey there little guy! What are you doing here?”
Draco felt himself melt a bit at the gentleness in his voice while simultaneously feeling indignant at being called a ‘little guy’. He was taller than Harry, something he prided himself on! Well, in human form at least. He decided to brush it off, instead crawling up his leg, determined and on a mission.
“Woah there! What are you doing, little one?”
Draco ignored him this time, instead making a bee line to the boy’s slightly bloodied knuckles and fervently licking them.
“Oh… right. Thank you little buddy. I… kind of punched the ground… and there was a rock there… and now I’m talking to a ferret, so all in all, life is going pretty well.” He sighed loudly and dropped his head into the crook of his elbow.
Draco chirped in surprise, looking up from his work. Harry didn’t seem to react. Glancing down at the now slightly scraped but clean knuckles, Draco hopped over his fist, careful not to bump the wound, and climbed up the boy’s arm. Harry still didn’t move. Draco let out an annoyed bark at wacked Harry with his tail.
“Oi! What was that for?” Harry grumbled, finally peaking up.
The ferret gave him a swift lick to the forehead, then moved on to his cheeks, licking at the slowly drying trail of wet tears. He squeaked happily when Harry began to giggle.
“Are you trying to cheer me up, little guy?” Harry pressed his face close, examining the ferret curiously, making Draco back up slightly, suddenly shy. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hurt you. How did you get over here anyways? Where’s your home? Your family? Did you come from the forest?”
He whined. No, dummy, ferrets don’t live in the forest! They’d get eaten in seconds!
“Yeah? The forest? That’s your home? Here, I’ll help take you back.”
Draco began to whimper wildly, sensing the danger this airhead was about to put him in, then gnashed his teeth when Harry just looked on at him with those stupid beautiful big eyes.
“Alright, alright! Not the forest! Well… Do you just live out here then? I haven’t ever noticed ferrets around here– Did you just roll your eyes at me??”
Harry shot him a funny look, then started to grin. He picked up the small animal, wrapping his hand easily and gently around its little waist and held it up in front of him, repositioning his own legs so he was sitting criss crossed.
“You know, you remind me of another ferret I used to know. Well, he’s a wizard like me, but one time he got turned into a ferret and it was really funny. You seem sassy, just like him.”
Draco huffed in annoyance and resigned himself to being dangled in the air, resting his little paws on Harry’s hand.
“You’re cute like him, too.”
Draco squeaked in surprise.
“Yes! I said you're cute, little guy! Look at your little tummy!” Harry cooed, reaching out a finger and tickling the ferret’s belly making it squirm.
Draco contemplated nipping him, but was soon placated when the boy pulled him into his chest, engulfing his little body in both hands. He could feel the force of the boy’s heartbeat drumming against his entire body and felt incredibly warm and comfortable. He buried his tiny nose into the soft cotton of his shirt and inhaled the earthy scent. He could get used to this.
“You give good hugs.” Harry murmured. “Would you let me keep you?”
But Draco didn’t hear the question. He had already fallen asleep.
Draco yawned, still fresh in his sleepy daze, and stretched his little body against the warm, comfy fabric he was nestled in. As he slowly became more aware of his surroundings, he took note of the strong earthy smell that engulfed him, feeling deeply relaxed. He blinked his eyes but all he saw was darkness.
Shit! Did I fall asleep outside? Is it night time already? I missed my afternoon classes!
He began to squirm frantically, then, feeling soft fabric cocooning him from either side he let out a confused and worried chirp.
“Shh! Easy there, little guy!” He heard a familiar voice whisper.
He looked up at the sudden intrusion of light that came from above to see Harry’s face poking through. He could hear distant chattering and the sound of cauldrons bubbling.
Shit, shit! Am I in the potions classroom?
He tried to climb up towards the face that was peering down at him, but was stopped by a firm hand through the fabric that pressed his small frame against the warm chest beneath his paws. Realizing he must be in Harry’s robes, he let out an indignant hiss.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You just looked so cozy and I didn’t want to wake you, and I didn’t want to just leave you there. Maybe that was a little selfish of me… you’re just so cute and sweet and you made me feel happy and I haven’t felt that in a while and-” The whisper cut off as Harry’s face quickly disappeared from view.
“What?! Oh nothing, mate, I didn’t say anything, I just was… sneezing… in my robes… y’know, didn’t want to spread any… germs…”
Draco squeaked merrily, giggling at Harry’s horrible lying skills, prompting Harry to have to fake a coughing fit to cover it up.
“Oi, I hope you’re not coming down with something!” He could hear Ron’s muffled voice call out.
“Yeah, er, me neither. You know what, we’re just about done with the potion and I know class will be over soon, but do you think you could wrap up here while I dip out early and go get some pepper up from Pomfrey?”
“Yeah sure, mate, no problem.”
Draco heard the screech of a stool sliding back and felt Harry stand, holding him against his chest, and began walking swiftly, though he couldn’t tell where they were headed. Letting out a soft sigh, he resigned himself to the ride and burrowed in against the warm chest.
After some time, he heard Harry mutter something that sounded like the current password to their dormitories and the familiar creek of the picture frame swinging open. He bounced slightly as Harry raced up the steps that led to their rooms. Finally, Harry opened his robes and gently pulled Draco out, cradling him against his chest with both hands. Shyly, he poked his little head up and peered around the room, seeing a couple quidditch posters, a slightly messy desk and a chair with some clothes thrown over it, and an unmade bed with a maroon duvet. He’d never actually been in Harry’s room before, though he had spent many nights praying to whatever god would hear him that one day he would.
This isn’t what he meant.
“I’m sorry little buddy. I know I’m being really selfish right now, I just… I’ll take you back to your home, I just want to hold onto you a little longer.”
He watched as Harry kicked off his shoes, leaving them strewn haphazardly on the floor, then carefully discarded his robes without setting Draco down. Then he made his way over to his bed and climbed in, pulling the duvet over them. Draco couldn’t even fight it when Harry pulled him in close, engulfing him fully in his arms that easily crossed over the ferret’s tiny body. He let out a squeak and blinked in surprise when he felt big soft lips press against his little head, then looked up and gave a happy lick to the slightly stubbled chin above him, relishing in the way the boy’s chest shook against him as he laughed.
“You’re just a lover, aren’t you, little guy?” Harry chuckled, giving the ferret some quick head scratches before burying his own head against his pillow.
They both yawned sleepily.
Draco was on the precipice of comfortable sleep when he heard Harry drowsily giggle and mutter, “My little ferret, my little lover, I should really just start calling you Draco. Probably the closest I’ll ever get to the real thing.”
He looked up, eyes wide in surprise, but Harry’s were already shut. He waited a while longer, until he could feel the boy’s chest moving slowly and rhythmically signaling he was fast asleep, then wiggled out of the now loosened grip and scurried towards the door. Carefully and quietly he transformed back into his human form, then with one last glance towards the peacefully sleeping boy, he gently turned the door knob and slipped out into the hallway.
What did he mean… the real thing?