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Chapter Text

After the assassination attempt and Cordé’s death, Padmé and her handmaidens cried together all morning. But eventually, they resigned to reality: that there was nothing that could be done to change the morning’s terrible events. Padmé refused to allow Cordé’s death to be meaningless. If anything, it reminded Padmé the power she held to oppose the approval of the Military Creation Act. Someone was so afraid of her that they had tried to have her assassinated.

Because of the busy day ahead, without a verbal agreement all decided to act as though nothing tragic had happened. In Padmé’s mind, Cordé was simply taking a day off.

With a wide-toothed comb in hand, Rabé directed Padmé’s long chestnut coils into a tight bun. Perhaps tight was an understatement. Her scalp could have peeled back at any moment, but she was used to the feeling. Her natural hair must be pulled back in such a manner as to be undetected under her various headpieces.

Today, Rabé, who was in charge of dressing her for important events, had selected the golden, basket-like headpiece. It was one of the prettier ones in Padmé’s eyes. One of the less striking pieces. After her hair was finished, Dormé assisted in tying the young senator into her gown. The bodice sparkled and was well-fitted around her waist. When she dressed for the senate, she never truly felt like herself. She never felt beautiful. Her outfits were designed to be eye-catching in the Senate, for there were nearly millions of senators present that she often competed for the Chancellor’s attention.

“How did your date go with that other senator?” Dormé inquired, making some last-minute adjustments to the dress with the sewing kit. “The one from Scipio.”

Instantly, heat rose to her cheeks. Not out of fondness for the man. Rather from embarrassment. “He tried to kiss me. I do not believe we will be going out ever again.” While Padmé preferred to avoid speaking of her romantic life—or lack thereof—it was preferable than talking about morning’s terror-inducing event.

Dormé looked up at her and sighed. “I thought you liked him.”

“As a friend! I have no interest in romance at the moment anyway,” Padmé doubled down.

“You should make time for it, Milady. You deserve every happiness,” Rabé finally piped in.

With a frown, Padmé groaned. “Serving Naboo gives me all the joy that I need in my life. Men only complicate things. Perhaps when I retire from the Senate, I can think about it.” Padmé stared them down. “And don’t you dare say that it will be too late. I am only twenty-five. I plan to retire in two years.”

Her ladies glanced at each other, both their faces marked by disapproval, and they nodded silently, not wanting to press the issue further. And Padmé appreciated the gesture. She had much to think on considering the impending voting date on the Military Creation Act was right around the corner. She and Bail Organa were taking every opportunity to oppose it.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

“I thought that meeting would never end,” was the first thing Anakin muttered as Obi-Wan descended the wide stairs stemming from the Jedi Council Chamber.

For nearly an hour, Anakin had sat on the last step when his Master finally returned. Anakin was irritated that he had been excluded from the meeting, especially since the recent rumors of war between the Republic and the Separatists. Tensions between the two factions were at an all-time high. And for some reason, the Jedi thought it their responsibility to intervene in the affairs of politics, an idea that was rather controversial. Anakin rarely voiced his opinions on such things, but he saw it as only natural that a powerful group such as the Jedi have a significant input on galactic affairs. The Jedi were legendary beings to most of the galaxy. Anakin had determined his life purpose was to protect them... once he freed his mother of course. She came first.

Obi-Wan swiftly trod down the hall, Anakin following closely behind. He had not said a word of acknowledgement to his apprentice. Oftentimes, his master was the epitome of calmness. So, the sternness of Obi-Wan’s face was troubling. That meant one of two things... usually. That he or the council were upset at Anakin.

An unnerving level of anxiety poured through his veins. Anakin was always in trouble with the council it seemed no matter how perfectly he tried to behave. There must have been a reason after all that he was excluded from today’s meeting. Immediately, Anakin felt the need to defend himself from whatever atrocity he had committed in their mission to Ansion.

“Master, I promise you that I didn’t do it on purpose.” Anakin had no idea what the issue was this time, but he figured that was a good way to get Obi-Wan to talk.

Abruptly, Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks, causing Anakin to nearly collide with him. “Today had nothing to do with you, my apprentice.” He turned to Anakin and rested a hand on his shoulder. A small smile brightened his face. “I assure you that you are not in trouble. In fact, we have been given a very grave assignment.” Then came his pensive frown. “We must leave right away.”

Leaving. Already? But they only just came back home. Anakin was missing Coruscant. His speeder. 3PO. Having his own bed.

“Don’t give me that look,” Obi-Wan corrected.

Anakin quickly widened his eyes, completely unaware of his own expression. But Obi-Wan had picked up on the disappointment on his face. “I am sorry, Master.”

However, Obi-Wan seemed merely amused by the whole situation. “I think you will like this assignment.”

Anakin shook his head. “Doubtful. I just want a break,” he scoffed.

Obi-Wan began his quick pace once more. Anakin reluctantly matched his speed despite the lingering muscle pain in his legs.

“We are tasked with protecting Senator...Amidala.”

His breath hitching, Anakin’s feet turned to lead, and he stilled instantly. Obi-Wan hadn’t noticed and continued ahead.

How did I miss that? Anakin couldn’t believe Obi-Wan knew before him that—that Padmé was back on Coruscant. The HoloNet made keeping tabs on her effortless. He hadn’t checked in the last few days because of their Ansion mission. But this was his chance. Their paths had never crossed before oddly enough. They hadn’t been on Coruscant at the same time in roughly ten years. Ten long years. And yet, when he closed his eyes, her angelic face was clearer than reality. He remembered everything about her. Even down to her sweet fragrance. He seared every memory of her deep in his mind so that he would never lose his feelings.

Keeping them alive and so fervent for all these years had brought him far more pain than pleasure. But it was all for this moment. He knew, because why else had the Force brought them together so perfectly.

She was here. On Coruscant. And he and Obi-Wan had been assigned as her personal bodyguards. He couldn’t imagine a more perfect opportunity to confess to her. Not that she would feel the same way of course. But they were meant to be together despite his status as a Jedi and everything that that meant for their future. He didn’t care. Anakin loved her. He had loved her half his life. This time he was old enough. He was ready. And he wasn’t going to let her go.

He could only hope that seeing him now, all grown up, might affect her in some way and turn her heart to his.

“Anakin!”

The voice of his master interrupted his plotting. And Anakin became embarrassed. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there.

Catching up, he said,” Sorry, Master. I was just thinking.”

Obi-Wan said nothing in response. He only gave his apprentice a look of sympathy.

“So when do we leave?” The eagerness in his voice was unintentional but entirely unavoidable. Anakin felt as though he could explode into stardust at any moment. Padmé was here.

“We are on our way now. She is expecting us immediately.”

“Oh.” Anakin dare not say anything more. With how often Anakin spoke of her over the years since they had last seen her, Obi-Wan probably suspected his fondness for her. But revealing the depth of his feelings for Padmé, the longing he had to be with her, could never see the light. Anakin was on thin ice with the Order as it was.

When they reached the hangar where Obi-Wan’s speeder was docked, Obi-Wan lifted himself into the pilot seat. Anakin’s jaw tightened, and his brow tensed. Obi-Wan never broke traffic laws unless in an emergency. And Anakin had a feeling that this wasn’t exactly an emergency.

“Come on, Anakin. We are on a strict timeline.”

Anakin looked up. “Maybe... I should fly, Master,” he hesitantly suggested. If Anakin flew, the 500 Republica, the residential complex where Padmé resided, was only five minutes away instead of twenty or thirty.

“Why is that?”

“I—” Anakin began, prepared to defend his opinion on how he would be much more efficient, but he remembered that he should avoid appearing too hasty for this mission. It was only supposed to be just another mission. And Anakin wasn’t about to see the woman he had been dreaming about for a decade. “I—I know you hate flying.” Anakin gave a disarming grin.

“Just get in,” Obi-Wan said, shaking his head.

His shoulders slumped; Anakin sat in the passenger seat.

And as he expected, Obi-Wan did not take advantages of their Jedi privileges, choosing to obey every traffic law except the speed limits because no one followed those. What could have been a quick flight was almost an hour. But that gave Anakin more time to think about what he was going to say when he finally saw Padmé.

Hi, Padmé. No. Hello, Senator Amidala. You look well. No. Too formal.

Maybe... I have thought of you every day for the last ten years, and I think... I love you.

Anakin internally groaned. He could say that if he wanted to surely ruin his chances of her ever loving him. That couldn’t be the first thing he said to her despite how much he wished to confess his whole heart to her unashamedly. He needed her to know.

The time somehow raced by as he still pondered on what to say. He was no closer to his opening line. What was he supposed to say to someone his feelings burned for brighter than both of Tatooine’s suns? His body was already aflame.

By the time Obi-Wan parked the ship in the 500 Republica visitor’s bay, Anakin was nearly hyperventilating. She was so close. He swore he could feel her presence. This was the first time in a decade that there weren’t lightyears of space between them. Force, he could practically taste her.

Hmm... not exactly the right time to think like that. Obi-Wan was certain to notice an emotion so potent.

So, Anakin refocused on his anxiousness. Let Obi-Wan feel that instead.

They entered the nearest turbolift. According to the map, this would take them to the highest floor where Padmé’s apartment was. Some of the most powerful people in the galaxy were in this building. But that meant nothing to Anakin when the most important person in the galaxy to him was here.

As they rode up in the turbolift, Anakin glanced over to Obi-Wan who wore a rather odd smile. He looked at Anakin. It was an awkward moment because Anakin knew exactly why Obi-Wan had that look about him, but he wasn’t about to comment. Anakin looked down for a moment to adjust his robes.

“You seem... a little on edge,” Obi-Wan spoke suddenly.

Anakin jumped. He had hoped his master would remain silent. This was completely embarrassing. “Not at all,” was his rushed reply.

Obi-Wan’s gaze told Anakin that he knew that was a lie. Anakin swallowed the lump in his throat. This was intolerable.

“You’re practically sweating.”

Not practically. Anakin was underneath his tunic. It just didn’t show on his face yet.

“Relax. Take a deep breath.”

Obi-Wan was right. Anakin breathed... a little. Then he met his master’s eyes again. A smile broke on Anakin’s face. “I haven’t seen her in ten years Master.”

That admittance stung and sent him spiraling into the unknown and what ifs again. Just what was he supposed to say to her?

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Padmé stood at the smaller balcony of her apartment, the one attached to her parlor. Having just returned from a meeting in the Senate, she needed to recollect herself. She was frustrated by the support the Military Creation Act was quickly gaining. And while she believed the Chancellor had good intentions, the creation of a military would lead them to certain conflict with the Separatists. In her eyes, it was not the way to continuing peace among the worlds of the galaxy. War would mean the deaths of trillions of beings. There would likely be a draft for the first time since peace had been established. She knew deeply that this was the wrong move. But if the majority approved of the act, there was nothing she could do. Padmé would never wish to stand in the way of democracy.

And when her worries passed over the political, a painfully vivid image of Cordé’s lifeless face appeared in her mind’s eye, overshadowing all other thoughts. Padmé could never repay her friends sacrifice. Rabé and Dormé assured her that it was an honor to die for her, but Padmé would have rather been the one to die. Cordé had nothing to do with Padmé’s controversial politics. And the assassination attempt did impact her more than she thought it would. She was not afraid to die in the least bit, but how many would be hurt because of her political opinions. She was starting to wonder if this was all worth it.

If her and Bail’s bill to defeat the Military Creation Act failed, Padmé was considering retiring back to Naboo where she would live out the rest of her days in obscurity. Hadn’t she earned it? More and more the idea of settling down was becoming a great desire of hers. What she wouldn’t give to be back in the lake country right now swimming with Sola and her girls, Ryoo and Pooja!

Interrupting her pleasant fantasies was Jar Jar Binks loudly introducing her guests. Padmé turned around from the balcony and entered the parlor. She approached the two Jedi standing in the center of the room.

Padmé smiled a real smile for the first time all day when she saw the familiar face of Obi-Wan Kenobi. She noticed the drastic change in his appearance. No longer the padawan. He was a Knight now. His hair was almost touching his shoulders. And he had a full beard. He looked so much older and wiser. He bowed as soon as she began her approach.

“Milady, it is a pleasure to see you again,” the Jedi Knight greeted.

“It has been far too long, Master Kenobi,” she replied, offering her hand to shake his.

Something tugged at her mind to look to the left immediately. The other Jedi stood a few feet away, speaking quietly with Captain Typho, who had been at her side ever since the threat on her life. He was a little taller than Obi-Wan and much younger. He wore the traditional padawan hair style. His robes were dark.

Almost as soon as she looked, he met her eyes. His were blue and reminded her of the lakes of Naboo. Before he said a word to her, she knew who he was. He had changed so much.

“Ani?” Padmé said his name like a question. And for a moment, he paused, which caused her to doubt herself and regret calling him by his childhood nickname.

But his sweet, warm smile reassured her that her assumption was indeed correct. “Goodness! You’ve grown.” She momentarily scanned over his frame. When he stepped closer, she found him towering over her now. It really had been a long time since they had seen each other. For the last ten years, she had pictured Ani as a nine-year-old boy, not the young man that stood in front of her.

The look he gave her was surprisingly intense, as if she were the only person in the room. “So have you, Padmé...” He paused, looking at her lips. “Only more beautiful,” he added, the pitch of his voice heightening at the end. Anakin’s eyes were wide, and his cheeks were a little red.

Padmé was momentarily speechless. One, her skin prickled from the awkwardness of the silence. Two, had he called her... beautiful?

To regain a sense of control over the situation, she shook her head and laughed off the bold compliment. “Ani, you’ll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine.” That was the truth. She wasn’t used to seeing him grown as he was now, nearly every bit a man. But his eyes were telling. In them, she still saw the sweet little boy who, with brashness, asked her if she were an angel.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat and gestured toward the couches. “Why don’t we sit down for a moment and discuss the current situation.”

After giving Anakin one last little smile, she nodded and turned her attention to Obi-Wan. “There is not much to discuss I’m afraid.” She joined him in the parlor, sitting across from him and Anakin, whose gaze seemed to linger on her more often than it should, but perhaps, he was only trying to be attentive to the conversation.

Captain Typo sat beside her. “The Senator is underselling the grave threat that she was in. I assume that you were briefed on the events of this morning.”

Before either Jedi could answer, Padmé stated frankly, “More security will do me no good. My men have been with me for nearly my entire career. I trust them to protect my life more than anyone else. What I need is to find out who exactly is trying to kill me. Someone is trying to put an end to my efforts in the Senate. If we were to uncover who this person was, if they are also involved in the Senate, my bill may gain further support.”

Obi-Wan leaned in. “Milady, the council has sent us to offer you protection not to start an investigation.

Anakin glared at Obi-Wan, though his master failed to notice, and then he gazed fiercely into Padmé’s eyes. “I understand your situation. I promise you we will find out who made the attempt on your life, Padmé”

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan snapped at him, startling Padmé. “We will not exceed our mandate. Must I explain to you yet again why that is?”

The young Jedi refused to back down despite being scolded as though he were still a child. “Investigation is implied! Padmé could have been killed. Why else would we be sent to protect her if not to also hunt down her assailant? If the council wanted mere security, they could have sent droids.”

Obi-Wan’s sigh was drawn out and defeated. “I do not appreciate your tone, my very young apprentice. You may make a suggestion to the council, but we must not go against their orders. You have much to learn still. You would be wise to follow my lead.”

Now silent, Anakin nodded, acknowledging his master’s command. He leaned back against the sofa. His eyes met Padmé’s again, and he mouthed sorry to her, possibly regretting his earlier defiance. The padawan learner clasped his hands over his waist as he obviously resigned from the conversation. His gaze still flitted about her, and she pretended not to notice. But why couldn’t he seem to look away? Was there something on her face? Instinctively, she wiped the corner of her lip, despite not having a single bite to eat all day.

“I appreciate any and all help the Jedi Council is willing to lend me,” she stated with a smile, hoping to ease the tension between the master and the apprentice.

“If the attacker presents themselves again,” Obi-Wan began, “they will not escape us. It will be a grave mistake on their part.”

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

After Padmé retired to her room for unknown reasons, Captain Typho also returned to his post downstairs, leaving the two Jedi alone. The air instantly turned cold. Anakin looked up only to be greeted by Obi-Wan’s disappointed, possibly angry gaze.

“Anakin, that was uncalled for. You have made us look quite foolish and unprofessional in front of the Senator. Not to mention, you should refer to her only as Senator Amidala or Milady. You are a Jedi. And she is a senator. Your relationship should not exceed a professional one.”

Momentarily, Anakin swallowed his rage. He failed to promptly formulate any response to the correction. His master simply unloaded every frustration he had with Anakin. He should have known that his second chance for a first impression with the love of his life would have gone very wrong. But when he was around Padmé... thinking about anything else was impossible. He wished he could have said something a little more articulate than so have you, only more beautiful. It wasn’t the worst thing he could have said, but to compliment her, in that way, in front of everything was certainly a choice. He had said the first thing that came to mind in that moment. She had become even more beautiful over the last ten years. She was everything he dreamed about.

Evidently disturbed by Anakin’s silence, Obi-Wan spoke again. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

There was only one correct response. “I am sorry, Master.”

He gave a quiet scoff. “I know I have trained you better than that. Next time, tell me your objections when we are alone and not in such a disrespectful manner.”

“Yes, Master,” Anakin said in monotone.

“Good. Now, I am going to check on Captain Typho’s security plans to ensure that there are no weak points. You should pay close attention of your surroundings and inform me of any disturbance you feel. You may observe Senator Amidala from the security cameras. She is not to be disturbed. She has had a very trying day.”

“Of course, Master.”

Anakin stood still and watched his master leave the apartment. He wanted to scream. Obi-Wan still spoke to him as if he were still that nine-year-old boy on Tatooine. Padmé didn’t seem to see him as anything else either. She said so herself. Earning his master’s respect would only come with time... so he hoped. But Anakin couldn’t wait that long for Padmé to see him the way he wanted her to see him. He wasn’t a child anymore.

After a few more minutes of going over his interaction with Padmé, Anakin decided to check up on her. The first two screens in the adjoining room, where two of her guards were sitting and watching over her, were blacked out.

He pointed to them. “What is going on there?”

One of the guards shrugged him off. “She covered them. I assure you the cameras are working. I just checked them this morning.”

“Why would she do that?” Anakin exclaimed. What if someone were to break through the windows and capture or even worse... kill her.

“I am unsure. She has never done this before.”

With an exasperated groan, Anakin swiftly marched to her bedroom and pounded his fist against the door. Sensing her rise from the bed, he shivered, realizing what he had just done, where he had just knocked. And Obi-Wan had asked him not to disturb her. Anakin turned to run away, ashamed that he had once again disobeyed his master out of impulse, but he stopped, hearing the lock click and the whir of the door opening.

Wrapped in a navy robe, her long curls draped over one side of her shoulder, there was his stunning angel. Her cinnamon eyes bore into his own inquisitively.

“Hi,” he said. Force. He hadn’t meant to address her so casually. As soon as he saw her, all of his fears dissipated, and the only thought in his mind was she’s the one.

“Hi?” Padmé’s eyes looked back and forth behind him. “Is something wrong, Ani?”

“Oh, um... umm...” He blinked his thoughts away and refocused. He did knock for a reason. “Nothing is wrong per se.” He searched for the right way to say this. “Why did you cover the cameras?”

Padmé shifted and bit her bottom lip. “I-I programed Artoo to scan for intruders so don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly safe.”

Anakin crossed his arms. She didn’t answer his question, but he wasn’t about to call her on that. “I think that it would be wise for you to uncover them. Do you understand your position, Milady? At any moment, your assailant—”

“I know better than anyone my position, Anakin.” She cut him off. I watched my friend die. I held her in my arms. I know just what this criminal is capable of!”

He hadn’t intended his words to come off so harshly, but he was drowning in worry over her. He couldn’t lose her like that. He refused. “Padmé... I apologize. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I am very worried about you.”

Her stern intensity softened almost instantly. She reached up and rested a hand on his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I appreciate your concern, Ani.” She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, a gesture that had meant to comfort him but only brought him pain. He wanted her to touch him more. “I will speak with you later.” Quickly, she closed the door, sealing herself away from him.

For longer than he intended, he stared at the door, focusing on her lingering presence and the sweet scent that could only be described as hers.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

A bright blue flash followed by the characteristic sound of a lightsaber jolted Padmé from her deep slumber. She shot up from her pillows, the bedsheets falling to her waist. Everything was happening so suddenly. Master Kenobi darted and jumped through the window without a word, leaving shattered glass behind. She watched him grab ahold of a courier droid that flew off with the Jedi, taking him deep into the city.

Then she looked up to find Anakin’s pretty eyes staring into hers deeply, momentarily dipping to the rest of her body as he crouched before her on the mattress. The moment passed in an instant, but she felt his gaze boring through her thin nightgown. Or so she thought. One of the straps had fallen off her shoulder. As he leaped off the bed, she adjusted it and lifted the covers over her body, shielding herself from his intrusive eyes.

“What’s going on, Ani?”

He wouldn’t look at her again. “Stay here. I’ll be back.” At full speed, he sprinted down the hall, no doubt in pursuit of Kenobi.

Padmé called R2D2 to her side. “What happened?”

The droid’s response appeared on her comm tablet: YOUR ASSASSIN DELIVERED KOHUN VIA COURIER DROID. IF NOT FOR ANAKIN’S JEDI SENSES, YOU MIGHT HAVE NOT SURVIVED. OBI-WAN IS IN PURSUIT OF THE DROID.

“Thank you, Artoo.” She reached over and patted his head.

Wind blew through the large crack in the transparisteel window. Padmé rose from bed and draped her robe about her shoulders and went into the parlor where she felt safer. Captain Typho and several other security officers were now in her apartment to secure the breach and for her protection in case her attacker decided to reveal themselves.

Perhaps... Anakin’s motives for requesting that she uncover the cameras were not for the inappropriate reasons she had assumed. Maybe he really had been concerned for her life. Maybe she was the only one entertaining inappropriate fantasy about him. Saying that she had been lonely lately was an understatement. Was she only projecting her desire to be wanted by someone onto the Jedi?

But there was something dangerous, something wild in those eyes of his. She wanted to know what the looks he gave her meant.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

A familiar warmth hovered above her, the hairs of her skin standing up straight. Light brushed her eyes through her eyelids. How long have I been sleeping was the thought that passed through Padmé’s head. When her eyes fluttered open, Padmé saw Anakin watching over her. His golden skin was glinting with sweat and his typically bright eyes were reddened. The leather tabards of his tunic were shredded.

Poor, Ani. He looked exhausted. A little more attentive to his face, she noticed his lower lip was bleeding and he had a black eye.

She sat up and realized just how close he was standing. “How long were you watching me?” Oh, she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Instantly, he looked away, crossing his arms. “Not... long.”

The edge of his lip that she could see curled upwards as though he were smiling.

“I’m so thankful that you are safe,” he murmured low so that no one else around them could hear.

“Sit,” Padmé ordered, patting the space beside her on the parlor sofa. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep out in the open, but she didn’t feel safe in her room right now.

Anakin finally turned his eyes to her again and shook his head slightly. “I can’t,” he whispered. “Obi-Wan would think—”

“Senator,” Obi-Wan called from the other side of the parlor as he approached them. Unlike Anakin, Obi-Wan appeared untouched from the night’s events. “My apologies for breaking your window. I didn’t want that droid to get away. I will let Anakin explain what happened tonight in more detail, but I’m afraid we were unable to catch the real threat. We did come close.” Obi-Wan looked to Anakin now. “I do believe the council will approve the investigation now,” he said with a humored smile.

“I hope so,” Anakin replied dryly. There was no emotion in his voice, as if he no longer cared about being right (that the Jedi Council should have included investigation in their mandate).

“Well, I must go to update the council. Anakin, I trust that you will keep the Senator safe.”

Thoughtfully, the young Jedi nodded. “With my life.”

Padmé felt her heartbeat twice in that moment. She couldn’t explain why hearing Anakin saying that affected her at all. It shouldn’t have. Protecting her was his mandate, his duty. He was her bodyguard. And yet, the way he said those words sounded very personal to him. There wasn’t a part of her that doubted he truly meant those words. She knew he cared for her in some way.

“I shall see you later, Senator.” Obi-Wan bid her goodbye.

Anakin wandered to the balcony opposite where Padmé sat. She watched him as he leaned against the railing and stared out into the city, him obviously lost in thought. She still was waiting for Anakin to tell her about the pursuit, but she didn’t want to disturb him. The warmth once between them cooled off.

She noticed his bruised eye again and his lip which looked a little swollen now. For a few minutes she left him alone to go to the kitchen. She filled a bag with some ice spheres and wrapped it in a soft towel. Padmé caught herself running back to him. There was no reason to run. He would still be there when she returned. So, she mindfully slowed her pace.

Even as she approached, his eyes were still on the city and not on her. Without even asking his permission, Padmé reached up and covered his eye with the pack.

He jerked away, acting purely on instinct. When he realized what she did, he leaned toward her, allowing her to attend to his eye. “Cold,” he muttered under his breath. And then he closed his eyes. His exhale was soft and drawn out.

“What’s wrong, Ani?”

“Nothing.”

She scoffed. “I know you’re lying.”

Anakin’s smile broke over his face. “Oh, so you have Jedi senses now?”

She giggled, happy to see him loosening up a little. “Maybe I do.”

Anakin wrapped his warm fingers around her wrist and pulled the ice pack away from his face so that he could look at her. His gaze cut through her, potent with desire.

“What am I thinking then?”

Thoroughly flustered, she pushed the ice pack back on his face. “You’re being silly! Now, hold this on your eye.” Then like a scared little girl, she ran away, retreating to the kitchen. She sat at the breakfast table.

Why did he look at her that way? He must have just been playing with her, right? She thought Jedi weren’t supposed to think like that. Padmé didn’t wish to assume he had any feelings for her at all. There was hardly a reason for him to. They had been apart for ten years. And he had been all of nine years old the last time she saw him. She laughed at herself. Maybe the Senate was finally getting to her.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Anakin waited in the hallway despite the door to Padmé’s bedroom being very much open. He thought it wrong to enter without her.

She was in the middle of appointing Jar Jar to her position in the Senate. Her tone was sharp and biting compared to her usual sweet demeanor. Hearing her talk so sternly made him smile. He found even her annoyance attractive.

“Jar Jar, I don’t wish to hold you up,” she said, marching away from the awkward creature. She stormed right past Anakin and said, “I hate this. Hiding? I don’t need to hide. I shouldn’t show weakness.”

Anakin promptly matched her pace and followed her into her bedroom. This was the first time he saw it in the daylight. Her bed was neatly made and decorated with blue and gold pillows. He also shivered remembering that she could have died here had he not sensed a disturbance in the Force.

“Try not to worry, Milady. Since the council has approved an investigation into your case, it won’t be long before Obi-Wan finds out who hired that bounty hunter. We just need to be a little... patient.”

“Ugh!” she groaned, not even looking at him once. She ripped a suitcase from her closet and nearly threw it on her bed. “I should be here on Coruscant. Bail and I have worked tirelessly to defeat the Military Creation Act. I can’t let Cordé’s death be in vain!”

“It won’t be,” Anakin countered, approaching her cautiously. He knew she was upset about the whole situation and wanted to give her space. But... he was dying to be close to her again like they were on the balcony last night.

He hated himself for ruining the moment with his rather suggestive words. It was getting more challenging by the day to hold himself back. He needed her to know how he felt, but it just wasn’t getting through it seemed. She laughed him off again, like he was just Ani from Tatooine, the little boy.

“You can’t know that. You’re hardly experienced in politics. How will it look when one of the main opponents to this act has disappeared at the first threat? This is not the first time I have been in danger, Ani.”

“Stop calling me that,” he snapped. His words were strangely coarse. He hadn’t meant to speak to her in such a manner. But if she called him Ani one more time, he was thinking he might lose it.

“Huh?” She stopped her frantic, angry packing and glanced up at him. “What did I say?”

“Ani is what my mom used to call me when I was a child.” He wandered over to her side. “And... I’m not a child anymore.” He realized in this moment just how much smaller Padmé was in comparison to him. She was thin and much shorter than he was. He could effortlessly overpower her... not that he would ever consider laying a hand on her. But he liked how they looked together.

Her mouth opened when she met his eyes as though she was about to say something but lost the thought. He didn’t know how long they stood there, simply looking into one another’s eyes. His body temperature rose, and he really, really wanted to kiss her.

“Well...” she whispered, almost leaning closer. “Try not to grow up too fast, Anakin.”

He liked hearing his name when she said it, and it only intensified his feelings for her. Something powerful took over him, and he found himself reaching for her hand.

Her fingertips were frigid when they touched his.

She pulled her hand away just as fast.

“Stop,” she said softly, “This is wrong.”

Stunned that she would react like that, Anakin stepped away, not knowing what to do. He hadn’t expected her to reject him. He thought she felt it too. The pull he had to her.

Maybe it was one sided after all.

“Sorry, Milady,” he replied. But he wasn’t ready to give up on her. He couldn’t, not after waiting for ten years to see her again.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

They traveled to Naboo on a freighter. A commoner’s way to travel from place to place across the galaxy. The fare was unbelievably cheap. She had never traveled this way before, but with Anakin by her side, she found herself enjoying the adventure. Master Kenobi and the council thought home would be the safest place for her because of how well she knew the countryside. While leaving the Senate behind at such a crucial time angered her, she had been aching to go back home and see her family. And it had been ages since she visited her family’s vacation house on the lake.

Anakin slept beside her, curled up on their bench. She smiled at him, knowing how excited he was to finally have his first assignment alone without his master. This was a big step for him.

As she stared at him a little longer, she found it strange seeing Anakin in regular clothing. Over his linen shirt, he wore a black waistcoat with an intricate golden pattern painted on the fabric. She identified the material as mud cloth, a handwoven fabric on which the pattern is painted on. Strangely, she remembered Rabé speaking of it a couple months ago when it popped up on a fashion blog on the Holonet. A loose, white poncho covered the more interesting details of his outfit, but she figured it made him fit the part of a refugee.

Anakin’s Jedi uniform had been plastered to his skin since the moment they were reunited. She hated to admit she liked seeing him like this. Maybe for the first time she saw him as just Anakin. Not Anakin the padawan learner. Just Anakin. It was easier now for her to accept the feelings she continually pushed to the back of her mind. This was wrong, but Anakin wasn’t just her bodyguard anymore. When they were alone on the balcony back at her apartment, she knew that maybe just a little bit she wanted to be more to him than just Senator Amidala.

She laughed at herself because this line of thinking was incredibly ridiculous and even dangerous, especially now that she was aware that Anakin did indeed want her. Now... it remained to be seen if his attraction were merely for physical reasons or something more...

She wanted it to be for something more.

When he touched her fingers with his, she had considered letting him go through with it, the kiss that she knew he sought. He had broken the touch barrier boldly.

But it hadn’t been enough to convince her to give in. She knew her sense was the only thing keeping them apart, but not only that. Her sense was the only thing keeping their relationship from becoming very messy very fast. Padmé knew very little about the Jedi law, but she did know that romantic relationships were not typically a part of a Jedi’s life. However, Anakin acted as though no such rule applied to him.

“Mom.”

Padmé tilted her head. His expression was one of great distress, his brow knitted tightly. In the next moment, he shook his head, speaking again, “Mom, no. Please.”

Tears coated his eyelashes, and a few streamed down his face.

Padmé placed a firm hand on his back and tapped him, calling his name. “Ani, wake up. Wake up.”

The young Jedi stirred, and his eyes slowly blinked, as he gained awareness of his surroundings. He lifted his head to face her. “Is everything okay?” he asked, obviously a little confused. The sleepy way he rubbed his eyes was adorable.

“You seemed to be having a nightmare. Were you dreaming about your mother?”

Anakin’s frame noticeably tensed. “Yes, but I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Okay,” she said. She shouldn’t have mentioned his mother. It was probably a very difficult subject. She knew he had likely not seen her since they left Tatooine together. “Are you hungry?”

Leaning forwards, she picked up a bowl of steaming soup and offered it to him.

He gently grabbed the bowl from her hands and sipped the broth. “How far out are we?”

“I’m not sure,” she replied, “You were napping for nearly an hour.”

He blushed. “Oh, I didn’t mean to. I haven’t had much time for sleep since the break in.” Anakin took another sip of soup.

“It’s all my fault,” she added humorously. “You can go back to sleep if you’d like.”

“I feel better now. I wouldn’t be much of a bodyguard if I were sleeping on the job.”

They shared a laugh.

As soon as he finished his broth, he set the dish on the table across from them, and sat cross legged, facing her. His head was down as he stared at his hands and picked at his nails. He seemed unsure of what to say to her. Maybe he was a little nervous.

“I’m looking forward to seeing Naboo again,” he said, interrupting the silence.

Padmé smiled. “I am too. The last time I was home was a year ago. My parents usually have to come all the way to Coruscant to visit me because the Senate keeps me very busy.”

“They must miss you,” he remarked, looking up at her in that way once more, giving her butterflies.

“I hope you don’t mind taking me to my family’s home after we meet with the Queen. It is a little out of the way from the lake country.”

“Not at all.” He still gazed deeply in her eyes, a sweet smile on his face. This time when he reached for her hand, she didn’t pull away. He gave her fingers a tentative squeeze, testing the waters, and then he held on.

She couldn’t deny the comfort his touch brought her, but she continued the conversation like nothing had changed between them. “I know my nieces will love to meet a Jedi.”

“I can’t wait to meet them and to see where you grew up.”

Undoubtedly, her sister Sola was going to make a big deal about Padmé bringing home a boy, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She hoped Anakin would attempt to be professional around her family. Realizing they were still holding hands—it felt so natural—she wiggled her hand from his grasp. She felt hollow as soon as they separated, but she couldn’t allow him to get used to touching her like that.

Anakin was biting back a prideful smile. No doubt he was reeling... just as she was... over the contact.

“It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi,” Padmé said, hoping to shift their focus, “not being able to visit the places you like. Or do the things you like.”

“Or be with the people that I love.”

She couldn’t explain why him saying love made her shiver. It was embarrassing. She had been trying to turn the conversation away from them, far away from love.

“Are the Jedi allowed to love?” she countered, knowing that the answer was no. “I thought that it was forbidden for a Jedi.”

Anakin’s lips curled into a sly little smirk. “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life.” He leaned in slightly closer. His voice lowered. “So, you might say we are encouraged to love.”

“You’ve changed so much,” she admitted, more to herself than to him. That little boy she once knew was every bit a man now.

“You haven’t changed a bit. You’re exactly the way I remember you. All those years ago.” His smile was endearing. And she found herself wanting to hold his hand again.

But Padmé, as always, held back. Her senses were returning. Though the clothes he wore were not those of a Jedi, Anakin still was indeed a Jedi. And falling in love with him would be a stupid mistake. She couldn’t throw away everything that she had been working so hard for. Nor would she let him do the same. The scandal it would cause would be shameful.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

“I wasn’t the youngest queen ever elected,” Padmé began, as they trekked up the bridge taking them over the river. “But now that I think back on it, I’m not sure I was old enough.” She looked up at Anakin, who was caught up in lively scenery of the great port city of Theed. “I’m not sure I was ready.”

He looked down at her reassuringly. “The people you served thought you did a good job.” Anakin continued, “I heard that they tried to amend the constitution so that you could stay in office.”

Padmé was surprised that he kept up with her over the years they were apart. She blushed slightly knowing that he must have thought about her sometimes.

They were entering a covered walkway held up by magnificent marble columns. Anakin carried her luggage and walked beside her, content with listening. “Truthfully, I was relieved when my two terms were up. So were my parents. They were so worried during the blockade. They couldn’t wait for it all to be... over.”

“I can’t imagine how afraid they were knowing you were in the middle of the whole conflict.”

“I was lucky to have Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to protect me. And you, of course,” she added thoughtfully. Anakin’s efforts had also been crucial to their success.

She watched him blush and turn his headaway.

The breeze was fragrant with the scent of fresh roses. And the white waterfalls splashed in the background.

“Actually, by now, I was hoping to have a family. My sister Sola has the most amazing, wonderful kids.” Padmé was surprised at herself. She rarely shared something so personal with anyone. Anakin was watching her with great interest.

His smile was unusually wide. “You’d be a wonderful mother.”

“Thank you, Ani.” That touched her heart, that he thought so highly of her. “But when the Queen asked me to serve as Senator, I couldn’t refuse her.”

“I agree. I think that the Republic needs you. I am glad you chose to serve.”

If she hadn’t chosen this life, she wouldn’t have reunited with Anakin. They might have never seen each other again. The thought of that saddened her more than it should. He shouldn’t have been more to her than a bodyguard or an acquaintance. But here she was spilling secrets that only her sister or mother knew.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

As soon as they arrived at Padmé’s family home, two little girls came running down the stairs to greet them. He watched Padmé skip toward them with the biggest smile he’s ever seen on her perfect lips. Standing beside R2D2, Anakin kept his distance, content with just watching her laugh and smile. She seemed free.

“I’ve missed you, girls!” she squealed, giving them hugs.

Anakin’s heart warmed seeing how fond they were of their aunt and how much she cared for them. It was clear to see just from this single interaction. He thought back to how Padmé revealed to him she did dream of having a family one day. Honestly, he was surprised that that was something she wanted, especially so young. Not that twenty-five was too young to start a family. It wouldn’t be unusual, but she seemed to be so focused on her political career that she had no time for anything else. Anakin wouldn’t mind having a family one day if she were his. But the likelihood of that seemed very dim. Loving Padmé alone was enough for him. He’d never want for anything more.

“This is Anakin, my Jedi protector,” Padmé said, leading the girls over to him.”

They waved shyly.

“Hello!” Anakin greeted.

Soon the girls noticed the blue and silver droid beside him and practically jumped on him. “Artoo!” One of them shouted. They seemed very familiar with him.

“Artoo often accompanies me on all of my trips, even personal ones. Ryoo and Pooja love when he comes to visit,” she said with a laugh. Padmé stood beside him again, and her warm spirit melted him. He was overwhelmed by the beauty of her home and the beauty that was her.

Her outfit today was baby blue and showed her entire midsection, front and back. When she had bent down to greet the girls, he admired the curvature of her back and the bumps of her spine. The top was modest, covering everything up to her neck, and her skirt touched the floor. But it didn’t matter what she wore, she would always be lovely in his eyes.

“Let’s go in and meet the rest of my family,” she announced happily.

With each step, she was almost bouncing up the stairs, teeming with joy. Anakin rushed up the stairs to beat her to the door so that he could open it for her. Before she entered, she mouthed thank you, her side brushing against him as she entered. Padmé’s father was the first to greet them. Seeing the man, Anakin straightened his posture. Not that it mattered what this man thought of him because he wasn’t actually dating his daughter, but if Padmé’s family liked him, then she might reconsider her feelings. She had held his hand on the freighter. It had to mean something. And he was dying to touch her again. Even if it were only her hand.

“Papa!” Padmé hugged her father tightly. She moved to Anakin’s side to introduce him. “This is my Jedi bodyguard Anakin Skywalker.”

“Nice to meet you, Son. Call me Ruwee”

Anakin shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too.”

From the next room, a woman’s voice called, “Is that my baby sister?”

Padmé ran off while Ruwee helped Anakin remove his cloak. “Thanks,” Anakin said before following Padmé into the dining area.

Padmé spoke so animatedly with the woman he assumed was her sister Sola. Almost as soon as he approached them, Sola began to stare. “And who might this be?” she said with a grin.

Giving her sister a noticeable glare, Padmé pointed to him, “Sola, this is Anakin, my bodyguard.”

He hated the way she put so much emphasis on his being her bodyguard. He would have almost preferred being introduced as her friend, but even the thought of that left a sour taste in his mouth. So, did their little moment on the freighter mean absolutely nothing to her? She was driving him mad whether she knew it or not.

“It’s a pleasure,” Sola said with mischief in her eyes.

“Oh, Anakin, this is my mother.” Padmé stepped around her sister and put a hand on her mother’s shoulder.

“Call me Jobal. We are so happy to have you here.” Jobal set a salad down on the table in front of them.

Anakin stared at the woman for a moment. He saw much of Padmé’s beauty in her eyes and in her smile. They had the same chocolate brown hair.

“You made it just in time for dinner!” Jobal said happily, seating herself at one end of the table.

Opposite his wife, Ruwee sat at the head of the table. Padmé took the seat beside her mom. There was a chair right beside hers, and Anakin had intended to take the seat closest to Padmé. She seemed to know that, her gaze shooting daggers at him before he even moved. Nearly imperceptibly, she pointed to the other seat. If they weren’t in the presence of her parents, he wouldn’t have gone along with her wishes. Was it so wrong for him to sit beside her?

There was an uncomfortable gap between them, and all he wanted was to be close to her.

“I hope you’re hungry, Anakin,” Jobal said to him.

 Anakin reached for a serving spoon. “A little.”

Playfully, Padmé rolled her eyes. “Oh mom, he’s just being polite. We’re starving!”

Her father interjected. “Well, you’ve come to the right place at the right time.”

Everyone at the table quieted for a moment as they served themselves food from the table. As Padmé passed Anakin a salad bowl, the tips of his fingers graced her hand gently. It was an accident, but she looked at him sweetly before turning her head back to Sola who sat across from her.

“It’s so good to see you safe, Padmé,” her mother began, “We were terrified hearing about the attempts on your life.”

Ruwee coughed. “Dear.”

Jobal raised her hands in surrender. “I know. I know. I said it, and now it’s done.”

“Don’t worry about me, Mom.” Padmé rested a hand on her mother’s shoulder. “Anakin is one of the most powerful Jedi in the Order. He keeps me very safe.”

Anakin swelled with pride, hearing such a compliment from her lips. He was surprised actually that she praised him openly in front of her family.

“You know, Anakin,” Sola broke in, “you’re the first boyfriend my sister has ever brought home.”

Padmé gasped. “Sola, stop it. He’s not my boyfriend. Anakin is a friend. We’ve known each other for years. He was assigned to be my bodyguard by the Senate.” Her face was flushing, as if she were embarrassed to have to explain all of this in front of him.

She had shot down the idea of him being her boyfriend so quickly. He tried not to allow his demeanor to change too much, but he couldn’t look at her right now. She had ruined the happy moment they had just shared. And he couldn’t help but be angry about it. She seemed even further out of his reach than ever before.

For the rest of the dinner, Anakin was mostly absent from the conversation. He was too distraught over her surety in that they were only friends. Would they never be anything more?

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

When her father invited Anakin to tour their garden, Padmé was relieved to have some time away from Anakin, not that she didn’t enjoy his company. Actually, it was quite the opposite, but she suspected that what she had said at the table hurt him deeply. She hadn’t meant to hurt him. But what her sister was hinting at—that they had a relationship—was dangerous for many reasons. Padmé did not need any push to fall for Anakin because it was already happening despite her many attempts to stop herself. And Anakin did not need someone else telling him that he should be her boyfriend because Padmé knew if he had the opportunity...

Anakin was a Jedi, and suggesting that they were involved, could harm his reputation much more than hers.

So, really her directly rejecting the idea Sola had brought up in Anakin’s presence was protecting them both. Padmé hardly understood why she felt guilty about it when what she said was the absolute truth. She and Anakin were nothing more than friends.

Padmé brought her mother’s large porcelain salad bowl into the kitchen. Sola was helping her mom clean up after dinner.

“Why haven’t you told us about him?” Sola questioned abruptly.

“What’s there to talk about?” Padmé immediately bit back, knowing where her sister was taking this conversation. “He’s just a boy.”

Sola dropped the dish from her hand into the sink, elbowing Padmé. “A boy? Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

“Sola, stop it!” Of course, Padmé had seen. More than anything, she felt it, felt him.

“It’s obvious he has feelings for you,” she stated matter-of-factly.

And Padmé knew that too, but she would never admit it aloud, not to Sola. “Anakin and I are friends. Our relationship is strictly professional.”

“Fine. Do whatever you want, but I’m only trying to help,” Sola explained, her attention returning to the sink full of dishes. “I want you to have what I have. A loving husband. A family.”

“That wouldn’t be possible with Anakin. He’s a Jedi.” Padmé realized that her tone sounded disappointed. She hadn’t meant it to. “Mom, can you please tell Sola to drop the subject!”

Her mother paused her sanitization of the countertop and stood in between the two girls. She placed an arm around each of her daughters. For a moment, there was silence. Looking out the window in front of him, they watched Anakin and her father talking outside. If he wasn’t a Jedi and she were just a normal girl, she probably would have been bringing him over to meet her parents.

“Sola just wants the best for you. I do too,” her mother said, trying to mediate their discussion. “It wouldn’t hurt to think about your future, Padmé. You’re missing so much by prioritizing only your career. You deserve every happiness.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead sweetly.

“I just think you should give him a chance,” Sola said seriously.

Padmé groaned, tilting her head back. “I couldn’t do that to him. Anakin has devoted his life to the Jedi Order. We need to respect that.”

“Well, why doesn’t he?”

Padmé’s face flushed, her jaw hanging open just slightly. Sola was no politician, but Padmé had no response for such a statement. Her sister’s words had hit her like a slap across the face. Shouldn’t Anakin be the one to be rejecting her?

When she lifted her head to look out the window again, Anakin and her father were nowhere in sight, meaning they were likely coming back inside. She suddenly felt her heartbeat in her chest.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Anakin followed Padmé down the hallway to her bedroom. Just as confident as ever, she went in and started packing a third suitcase. Watching her rifle through her enormous closet, Anakin stood in the threshold. This was Padmé’s bedroom at her parents’ house. He didn’t feel right about—

“Come in, Ani,” she said narrowing her eyes.

He glanced over her shoulder. “Uh... are you sure your dad won’t mind?”

She covered her mouth as she gave a laugh. “I am an adult. I promise you that they would never suspect anything is happening in here. They understand that you’re my bodyguard. You’re just doing your job.”

“Yeah.” Anakin wandered in. Of course, they wouldn’t see him as anything more than her Jedi protector. Well, maybe everyone but Sola.

Anakin found a seat on the foot of her bed. Her bedroom at her family home was much different than the one back on Coruscant. That one was much colder and more formal, even down to the color palate. It was aesthetically pleasing and yet lifeless.

Her room here on Naboo, he thought, reflected the Padmé he really loved. Not the cool and collected Senator Amidala. The soft and sweet Padmé Naberrie. The girl he had fallen for the moment he saw her ten years ago. He was seeing this side of her more and more as they spent time together. The senator that the galaxy knew and loved was slowly unraveling herself to him.

“I’m sorry if my sister was a little too forwards at dinner,” Padmé said. She held up two gowns and inspected them as if choosing between them. She wasn’t looking at him, and he couldn’t read her intentions for bringing up the awkward moment.

“No. I didn’t mind at all.” He could only tell her the truth. What he would have changed was Padmé’s reaction to her sister’s suggestion. “But you seemed to.” He realized, seeing her stony glare, that he probably should have left the last part out.

“I just...” she paused, thinking, “I didn’t want her to make you uncomfortable.”

Anakin wanted to scoff. Nothing about being her boyfriend would make him uncomfortable. “She didn’t.”

“Good,” she muttered. Padmé turned around to lay one of her dresses on the bed. She folded the item and fitted it inside her luggage.

The conversation died quickly. Anakin had so many things he wanted to say to her. Some of them he wanted to scream at her. She stood close to him. He closed his eyes and breathed in her fragrance, her presence. His desperation to be with her was slowly killing him from the inside out. He craved her touch. Slowly, his eyes scaned up over her body, imprinting her every curve into his mind, dreaming of the future in which nothing would be off-limits. All of her would be all of his. All of him would be all of hers.

Dreamily, he gazed into her eyes as she focused on folding her clothes. “Padmé.”

She glanced over. “Yes?”

“Will your family be joining us at the lake house?”

She shook her head, returning her attention to her luggage. “No, it wouldn’t be safe for them to be around me that long. I don’t want to put them in any danger. That’s why we are leaving as soon as I pack.”

“Right. So, just us then?”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Yes, is that a problem?”

“No. I was just thinking.”

“I hope you won’t get too bored,” she added with a teasing smile.

“Spending time with you would never be boring,” he said with all seriousness. “I am looking forward to it.”

Padmé finally closed her suitcase. Pushing it aside, she sat beside him, a comfortable distance between them unsurprisingly. “The lake country really is gorgeous. To me, there’s no place like it in the galaxy. It’s where I feel true peace.”

If Anakin wasn’t so afraid to lose her, he would have pulled her into a kiss. He was surrounded by her presence in this room. Everything was her. But he held back because he knew that a kiss would only push her further away. “Well, I guess, we can say goodbye to your family and head out that way.”

Padmé’s distant eyes came back to the current moment. “Yes, I suppose we should.”

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Paddy, the water speeder’s driver, stopped at the dock. The old man was overly thoughtful, insisting on bringing their luggage inside the lake house for them so that they could go for a walk and stretch their legs. He had been working for her family for years. He was the one who lived at the house year-round and managed the property for them. He trimmed and shaped the bushes and cultivated all of the red roses.

After Paddy, Anakin stepped out of the speeder. He offered his hand to her, and tentatively, she accepted, resting her hand atop his. His hand was warm, strong, and familiar. The first step was steeper than she had expected. Anakin must have sensed her struggle. He placed a firm hand on the small of her back and pushed her up. As soon as she stood on solid ground, he released her and stepped to her side. She imagined that his face was red. Maybe because hers was after feeling him touch the bare skin of her back. This dress... might have been a mistake. She packed it because of how beautiful the pastel yellows and pinks were and how wispy and cool the dress would be in the heat of the season. She had never worn it before because it was too casual for the Senate, and yet too ornate for everyday wear at home. But now she was realizing just how much skin she was showing as she walked up the stairs with Anakin close behind her. Usually, she wouldn’t have thought about her modesty, but she had a strong suspicion that Anakin’s eyes were taking full advantage of her exposed skin. She felt uneasy about the fact that she didn’t necessarily mind that he was looking.

They walked up the staircase to the terrace overlooking the lake.

“We used to come her for school retreat,” Padmé mused aloud, thinking fondly of her childhood. “I love the water.”

At the end of the terrace, they reached the marble balustrade, carved with beautiful, intricate detailing. They both settled and leaned against it. Padmé rested her elbows on the top. Anakin stood close beside her.

Padmé continued, “We used to lie out on the sand as the sun dried us. And try to guess the names of the birds singing or count the clouds up in the sky.” She gazed up at the sky now and thought of Sola and their sweet summers spent here. If only she could go back.

“Sounds perfect,” Anakin said, his tone soft. His eyes were on his hands as he anxiously picked apart a rose petal. It was as though he was purposefully not meeting her eyes. “It’s always sunny on Tatooine. And there’s plenty of sand that gets everywhere you don’t want it to be.”

Padmé giggled at his comment. “Not fond of it?”

He smiled finally, seeming to relax. “I love it.” His sarcasm was evident.

“Sounds like it.”

“Tatooine is pretty much the opposite of Naboo. Here, everything is so...” he paused, inhaling and breathing out slowly, “soft and,” his knuckles brushed against her arm ever so lightly, “smooth.”

She trembled from the contact. Inwardly. She didn’t let her reaction show outwardly, choosing to keep her eyes on the crystal waters. She felt his gaze burning through her, devouring her. She should have stopped him, but she realized she didn’t want to.

A sharp inhale passed between her teeth, his fingertips dancing across the edge of her back and down her side. This time, she looked up into his blue eyes. She needed to see his face if she had any hope of understanding what was happening. Padmé was met with deep longing, his eyes sparking with passion. And it was all directed to her. She had never had someone look at her this way, and it stirred a new feeling inside that she had never felt for anyone else. She was caught breathless, speechless, and completely at his mercy.

Panic arose as he leaned in. She knew where he was leading her, and it was a place not meant for them. He had promised his life to the Jedi Order, and here he was kissing her. Never again would she look at him and think of that precious little boy. He was entirely a man now whose passions were devoted only to her.

The tender kiss didn’t break, even as he cornered her against the marble balustrade. His arms drowned in the layers of his tunic surrounded her in love. She couldn’t tell if it were because him or the Force, but her legs grew limp, requiring her to grip the leather of his tunic to hold herself up.

Strangely, this was what she had been waiting for. Finally, everything clicked. All his glances and hesitant touches did mean something. She wondered how long he had been waiting to kiss her just like this. His heartbeat was furious, and she wasn’t even sure if he were breathing. His desperation bloomed, the length of his frame against hers. Everything inside of her was pleading with her mind to submit, to let him have this, and to let herself have this pleasure. She had never been kissed like this before.

But Padmé’s senses came back, and she realized that if she allowed him to go on, her eventual rejection—because they both knew they could never be together—would wound him even more deeply. Anakin gave no sign of letting up. He wanted all of her, right here, right now. But she couldn’t do that to him. Padmé... cared for him more than she wanted to.

And as much as it hurt to do so, she ended the kiss. “Anakin, we should stop.”

His eyes were still closed as he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. “No, please.” He finally exhaled.

“Neither of us is thinking straight,” she added, shifting away from his arms, trying to get some distance between them.

Anakin let her go reluctantly. He almost looked like he might cry. He stood beside her just as he had before they had both given in to their feelings, but he was closed off now. The warmth that always surrounded her when she was beside him died off. And she hated rejecting him, but she needed to think before they... cast aside all reason just for momentary gratification.

“You’re right,” he breathed. “I understand.”

Padmé found herself despising the professionalism in his tone now, the tone that she had practiced using around him.

But she couldn’t give in. This wasn’t the reality in which allowing herself to love him would end well.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

The misty rush of the great waterfalls surrounding the valley reminded Anakin of the white noise inside the many Jedi meditation chambers. Only this time the sounds he heard weren’t the result of the artificial frequencies produced by hidden speakers. They were real. This moment, sitting in the long grasses, sharing a picnic with Padmé, and the sun warming his skin was very real.

This moment felt familiar. Perhaps through a dream. Or maybe because he felt at home with Padmé. And he hadn’t had that feeling since he last saw his mother. Home had always been where his mom was, but now, maybe that was changing. Being by Padmé’s side gave him such joy that he wasn’t too bothered by the fact that they were clearly ignoring the bantha in the room—their kiss. He was sure, eventually, she would want to speak of it. Anakin was content ignoring that whole scenario, not that it wasn’t a good memory for him, but he wished to avoid the conversation that they shouldn’t be together. He knew that they were meant for each other. Padmé would come around soon enough. She had been the one to suggest a picnic. Alone...

He laughed, watching her avoid his gaze, attending to the wildflowers nearest her grasp instead of answering his question. “Well?” he prompted her again.

“I don’t know,” she finally answered, obviously avoiding the response he sought. Her big smile gave her away.

Seeing Padmé, the formidable senator, all flustered made him chuckle. “Sure, you do. You just don’t want to tell me.”

Her brown eyes looked up bashfully. “Are you going to use one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?”

“They only work on the weak minded,” Anakin admitted. He would never betray Padmé like that even if he were strong enough to see past her mental barriers.

“That’s good to know. I was worried for a moment there,” she said with a teasing smile. “But fine. Since you refuse to drop the subject, I was twelve. His name was Palo. We were both in the Legislative Youth Program. He was a few years older than I.” Her index finger tugged at one of her many shiny coils of hair. Her gaze was distant and wistfully reminiscent. “Very cute. Dark, curly hair. Dreamy eyes.”

A wave of jealousy hit him right in the heart. “Aright. I get the picture,” he said bitterly. He hated how childish he sounded in that moment, but the thought of the woman he loved pining for someone else... it was best not to think of that at all.

“Ani,” Padmé giggled, “are you jel—”

“Whatever happened to him?” Anakin spoke over her.

She continued, her tone inundated with longing. “I went into public service. He went on to become an artist.”

Anakin still found himself surprisingly irritated by her talking about this other interest of hers. “Maybe he was the smart one.”

Padmé’s expression soured, as if she were infected by his attitude. “You Jedi really don’t like politicians.”

He suspected his bitterness might have hurt her, and he regretted his rude comment. He had wanted it to come off as only a joke and couldn’t bear that she might have taken it the wrong way. “I like two or three.” He leaned back, supporting himself with his hands. “But I’m not really sure about one of them.” Anakin purposefully eyed her.

She gasped, the big smile returning. “You’re so mean.” She swatted at his shoulder. “You’re making fun of me.”

Anakin laughed too. “No. I couldn’t. I’d be much too frightened to tease the Senator Amidala of Naboo.”

Padmé gave a real laugh, one where her head fell back, and her chest heaved. His joke wasn’t even that funny, but he could tell that it was easy to make her laugh when she was happy. The conversation about her first love ended there to Anakin’s relief. He probably shouldn’t have brought it up, but he wanted to know if there was anyone else in her life, anyone that she thought about as much as he thought about her.

Still beaming, Padmé reached for the picnic basket and opened the top. In about half an hour, they nearly inhaled the food. She talked about her childhood some more and asked about his. Anakin was extremely selective in what he told her about his life on Tatooine. He didn’t want her to be burdened by the darkness of his life before she came into the picture, and he left for Coruscant. His mom still lived in that darkness, and knowing that she was still suffering—he chose to push that thought out of his mind. He refocused on Padmé and doing so soothed his fears for the time being.

Having had their fill on lunch, Padmé wanted to go on a walk. Anakin was happy to get moving. He wasn’t used to having so much time to relax and lie around all day. The tall grasses brushed against them as they stepped up the hill together. When they reached the top, Anakin noticed a herd of strange-looking creatures, very large and round.

“Those are shaaks, Ani. They live in the valleys of Naboo. They are protected by the government so that they don’t go extinct. They feed off the grasses and drink from the lakes here. They are pretty gentle creatures.”

Anakin had never seen anything like them. His curiosity got the best of him, and he sprinted toward the beast. Laughing, Padmé chased after him and asked him to slow down so she could keep up. Carefully, he watched the shaak’s movements before approaching it. He used the Force like a spring to jump higher in the air than what was natural to man and completed a front flip before landing on the animal’s back. Maybe he had wanted to show off a little.

The animal was frightened by his presence and sped up. Even with Anakin’s skills, he could not stand up on the shaak’s back for long. The shaak leapt forwards, and Anakin tumbled off, landing in the soft grasses, only to be trampled by its large feet. Or so it probably looked to Padmé. Really, the creature skipped over him. Barely though. Anakin was... well... embarrassed. Jedi were supposed to be more graceful than he had been. He remained in the prone position, his face buried in the ground. He thought he heard his name being called. Padmé had come running after him out of worry. He could feel it in her voice. She patted him on the back and then rolled him over.

He couldn’t keep up with the act for long. As soon as she turned him, he broke out in laughter. She screamed his name and hit him in the stomach, and then laughed too. He grabbed her hands and wrestled with her like they were children before pulling her down onto his chest. Anakin turned over and pinned her down, but she didn’t let him hold her there. She kicked him over and they tumbled down a shallow hill. All movement stopped when they reached the bottom. Padmé’s entire body rested on his for a moment, and he marveled at the sensation. She was lightweight. And warm. As if startled by their closeness, Padmé pushed herself up onto her arms halfway. Anakin didn’t want her to leave. He held onto her waist, silently pleading with her to stay.

He stared deeply into her brown eyes that glinted gold in the sunlight. He could have stayed like this for the rest of the day. Here in this one piece of time was everything he had craved for so long. She looked at him with a new expression, one of passion and hope. Anakin reached up to touch her face. His thumb traced her cheek. She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to relax into his affection. This would have been the perfect moment for a kiss, but he knew better than to tempt himself. He’d never want to stop until all of her belonged to him.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Padmé was making some last-minute changes to her outfit when she heard the knock on her door. Of course, she knew exactly who was on the other side of that door, and the thought of seeing him again made her shiver. In a good way. These were feelings that had never risen up for any other person. No one but Anakin.

The entire two hours she had taken to bathe and get herself ready for dinner she was smiling so much that her face hurt. And for no reason. Except for...

Ugh. This wasn’t good. Anakin was very quickly becoming her only thought. She realized that her mind had begun to only revolve around him ever since he had given her that stupid kiss! That was another thing she couldn’t stop thinking about. He was a perfectly good kisser, which was something she hadn’t expected from someone so young and someone who was a Jedi. Not that she was hoping to be Anakin’s first kiss, but the thought of him kissing someone else like that incited a volatile emotion in her gut.

If she were alone, she might have screamed, but Nandi and Teckla were helping her prepare for her evening. They had arrived sometime today while Padmé had been wasting her time away with Anakin in the fields, while no doubt the Senate was making decisions that would change the galaxy for good. But what was even more foreign to Padmé than these budding feelings for her Jedi bodyguard was the fact that she wasn’t worried about the Senate. Not one part of her mind had even considered checking the HoloNet for news on the Military Creation Act. She didn’t even feel guilty about it. Spending time here in the lake country with Anakin had made her so happy that she had forgotten to worry.

Another glance in the mirror, she saw her ridiculous smile and the pink flush of her cheeks. This feeling would be fleeting. So, she might as well enjoy it.

One of her ladies brought a feathered black jacket to wear over the leather corset. Padmé readily accepted the suggestion. The additional piece made the outfit a little more tasteful. She really should have been more conscientious of her clothing choices.

Padmé had Teckla open the door for Anakin. She heard him thank her handmaiden as he went inside.

She watched his eyes widen. He scanned over every inch of her body. “Beautiful.”

Insincerity was so commonplace in politics that hearing the surety in Anakin’s voice when he complimented her caught her off guard. “Thank you. We match,” she joked, noticing they were both wearing black.

Anakin offered her his arm. “If you want, I’d like to play the part of a gentleman.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course, Ani.”

Dinner was out on the terrace of the lake house. Not only had her ladies helped her get dressed for the date, but also, they prepared this traditional Naboo meal for her and Anakin. They sat across from each other. She was used to making small talk when sharing a meal; she had done so countless times for political reasons with guests from all over the galaxy. But with Anakin, she was nervous, which was a feeling she was becoming familiarized with. His presence was, at times, so overwhelming. And the intensity she found in his eyes only exacerbated her insecurities.

As they ate, Anakin seemingly did not share her trepidation. He shared with her story after story of his adventures with Obi-Wan over the last ten years. His tone of voice and his expressions made even the simple moments fascinating. She could have listened to his voice all evening. Anakin certainly had a flair for dramatics.

“And then we went into...” Anakin took a sip of water, “aggressive negotiations.”

Padmé covered her mouth when she laughed. “Aggressive negotiations? What is that?”

His eyes shifted off into the distance. “Um, well... negotiations with a lightsaber.” They laughed. “My master coined the term. You know, he’s ‘the Negotiator’ after all.”

Padmé shook her head and giggled. “No, I did not know that.” Reaching forwards, Padmé picked up a shurra fruit and set it on her plate. “Sounds like you and Obi-Wan have a lot of exciting adventures together.”

“Yeah, it gets exhausting sometimes.”

Padmé was about to cut into the fruit when it levitated into the air. Instantly, she looked up. “Anakin!”

He drew the fruit to his own plate and sliced into it carefully. His brow knitted in concentration. He cut a perfect, thin slice of shurra and sent it back to her. She caught it on her fork.

“Thank you. I’ll expect all of my food to be delivered via the Force.”

“I’m at your service, Milady,” he said with a hint of sarcasm. But Padmé suspected that he would be up to the task if she asked that of him. Anakin would do anything for her.

After they finished eating, Padmé rose from her seat. Anakin did the same. Night had fallen on their side of Naboo. Though it wasn’t even close to the time Padmé normally went to bed, she needed an excuse to separate herself from Anakin because she didn’t trust herself around him right now.

“I will be retiring now, Anakin,” she attempted to say rather formally.

“Let me take you to your room,” he replied, hastily moving to her side of the table. Anakin offered her his hand.

She couldn’t reject his kindness, not outright at least. She understood that she did have some power over him since she was the one keeping their relationship from being real. “I know my way around this house better than you do. I’ll be fine.”

His jaw was firm. “I insist.”

Padmé looked at the young man in front of her, knowing that she held his heart. Even her mere words could crush him. And maybe she should wound him enough discourage his interest, but Anakin held a power over her too. He made her feel things that no one else could. As much as she despised herself for it, she wasn’t ready to let her happiness go. Not yet.

She wanted to feel desired, to be pursued just for a few more moments. Tomorrow, she could return to reality and confront him about how things must be.

She set her hand on his. He leaned down to kiss the top of her hand. The contact of his lips against her skin was electrifying. He held onto her the entire walk across the house to her bedroom. Not a single word was exchanged between them. She was sure that he would say something to fill the silence. He always did when she couldn’t think of anything.

At her door, he cornered her. She couldn’t determine if it was intentional or not. And maybe for the first time, she recognized just how tall he truly was, how he towered over her. He made her feel so small. In the dim lighting, his eyes looked as dark as night and were—dare she say—intimidating, like she was his prey, and he was encircling her with the intention of completely consuming her. He took a step forward, and she took one back, colliding with the door.

“A-Ani, I should probably be getting to sleep now. G-goodnight.” Her eyes were magnetized to the floor. It was impossible to meet his eyes.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but said nothing. His right hand tentatively grasped her waist, and his left cupped her face, his thumb rubbing the underside of her chin.

“I don’t want to go,” he finally said. “Don’t make me leave.”

Seeing him so desperate for her affected her in a way that surprised even her. For a moment she fantasized about tearing his clothes off. And when the thought passed, she was horrified that she would think such a thing. She was five years older than Anakin. Just a few months ago he was technically still a teenager. What was she doing?

Acting completely on impulse, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Without a moment’s hesitation, Anakin’s mouth was on hers again. His emotions were close to tangible. She could sense how much he wanted this. And more than she had in their first kiss, she wanted him too.

Effortlessly, he picked her up and held her bridal style, never breaking the contact with her lips. The door whirred open behind her. She didn’t remember giving him the passcode. He lowered them to the ruby couch in front of the roaring fireplace. He pulled her on top of him and wrapped his arms around her, finally taking a moment to catch his breath.

Padmé saw the look in his eyes and was terrified. His lust for her had waned, and all that was left was pure, uncritical admiration. Love. She felt it. “Padmé, I l—”

“No, stop.” The words shot out of her throat. She knew what he was about to say, and she couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t let him say those words because it would make this real. They wouldn’t just be having fun anymore. She tumbled off him and sat on the opposite side of the sofa, turning her body to the flames. Her arm was propped up on the arm rest. She should have rejected him earlier. She should have known that this was going to happen.

Anakin chased her and knelt on the floor at her feet. “Why not? Why don’t you want me to tell you that? You know I do.”

She refused to look at him still. She was shaking. What she needed to say, what her senses were demanding that she say would be like ripping Anakin’s heart right out of his chest. “You don’t know what love is, Anakin. How could you possibly understand?”

Anakin groaned out of anger and stood up. He paced back and forth in front of her. “What? Am I too young for you? Do you just not like me?”

“No!” she nearly shouted. She didn’t want him thinking that there was anything wrong with him. “We can’t be together, Anakin. Don’t you get it? I’m a senator. I’m in the public eye all the time. You’re training to be a Jedi. Our two worlds can’t possibly fit together.”

“If you don’t want me, just say it!” he spat. “Don’t let me down easy. I don’t need that.”

Padmé rose and grabbed him by the arm, squeezing muscle, her nails digging into flesh. “Anakin, i-it’s not that at all. One of us must be sensible. I can’t let you throw your life away for me. You are destined for something much greater than I can even imagine. You’re the Ch—”

“Don’t!” he yelled.

Padmé let go of him, startled that he raised his voice at her.

His gaze softened. He grabbed her hand and slid his thumb across her skin. “Sorry. It’s just—everyone always reminds me of that stupid prophecy. When I’m with you, I get to be... me. Just Anakin.”

Padmé lowered her head in sympathy. “I know what you mean.”

Anakin tilted her head back so that he could see her eyes. He had that look again. She knew he wanted to kiss her.

This time she physically pushed him back. She stepped closer to the fire and hugged herself. “We can’t be together, Anakin. It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other. This is the bitter reali—”

“You do feel something!” he said, as if he didn’t know this entire time that she wanted him. She couldn’t believe he didn’t know.

“That doesn’t change anything. Jedi aren’t allowed to entertain romantic relationships. And one day, I want to be married and have a family. I can’t do that with you, can I?” The question was rhetorical. Obviously.

Anakin clenched his fists. “It’s like you’re looking for reasons for us not to be together. Neither of us must sacrifice that much. It’s simple to me,” he said firmly. “We could keep it a secret.”

“It’s never that simple.” His youngness and inexperience in relationships really was showing in this conversation. He was being completely naive. “We would be forced to live a lie, one that I doubt we could even keep up with. It’s not sensible. How would we be able to sustain that forever? Do you really think that you could keep such a secret?” Padmé should have known his answer before she asked.

“If it meant I had you, I’d do anything.”

Padmé held a hand to her head. Suddenly, she had developed a migraine. “My head is pulsing. I think you should leave.” She had nothing left to say to him right now. None of her words had seemed to get through to him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’ll go.”

Padmé hated herself for crushing his hope for a future with her. She hated the wounded look in his eyes as he quickly left her bedroom. This was all her fault. If she had set a proper boundary the moment she realized his feelings, this wouldn’t be happening. Padmé sank to the floor and wept. He wasn’t the only one whose dreams were dying.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

As warm and gentle as a summer breeze was Padmé’s approach out onto the balcony. Even if he hadn’t been in deep meditation, her presence would have surrounded him in the same way as it always did. For him, it was all consuming.

Anakin could not hear her thoughts directly, but in this state, he could sense generally what she was considering. She had come in because a feeling of worry about him, but he felt her hesitation when she looked at him, recognizing that he was meditating. He appreciated how considerate she was, but he didn’t want her to go.

“Stay,” he said.

He felt her stopping and turning to him.

“I don’t wish to disturb you,” she replied. He could sense her surprise at his request.

“Impossible,” he answered, which was the truth. Only Padmé soothed his fears and the constant dread eating away at his sanity.

Still keeping her distance, she decided to remain with him. “You had a nightmare again.”

“Jedi don’t have nightmares,” he muttered, knowing that they both recognized the lie. But admitting to it made him feel weak. He was supposed to be the Chosen One. And right now, he felt like a little boy again. His mom had always been there to wipe his tears away. He didn’t want Padmé to be that for him.

“I heard you,” she wasn’t going to back down. He knew she wanted him to tell her everything, but that was hard for him. He had never told anyone except for Obi-Wan about the nightmares he had about his mother. She drew closer to him. “Anakin, don’t shut me out.”

Finally, he opened his eyes and turned to her. He saw the concern on her face. “I don’t want to burden you, Padmé.”

She rested a hand on his shoulder. “Regardless of what happened last night, I still care about you. You do so much for me. Let me help you.”

He sighed, giving in. He found it strange, but he couldn’t imagine opposing her wishes. He wanted to do whatever she told him to which only added to his shame. “I saw my mother.” He swallowed. Admitting this aloud was nearly impossible. “She’s still on Tatooine, and she’s in pain. I felt it. I saw blood.” Once he started, everything spilled out. It was cathartic. “I know she’s being tortured. I can’t just accept this anymore. I have to—”

“You should go,” Padmé declared.

He looked at her strangely. Anytime he brought it up to Obi-Wan, he responded with an almost immediate rejection, as if the idea of saving his mother was preposterous. “I know that I’m disobeying my mandate to protect you, but I can’t just sit by anymore. I have to go back. I promised her I would.”

“I’ll go with you, Anakin,” she said very gently. “That way you can still keep me safe.”

He snorted. “Tatooine isn’t safe. You’d probably be better off staying on Naboo.”

“Anakin, I’m going with you,” she reasserted. “I trust you.”

He wanted to hold her and tell her how much this meant to him, but he remembered that she wanted to go back to having a professional relationship. He was too worried about his mother to consider how he truly felt about her ultimate rejection. Maybe he still believed she would change her mind about them.

But Anakin knew even more now that he loved her, and he was starting to suspect that she felt the same, despite what she said the night before.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

After Anakin brought his mother’s dead body back to the farm, he disappeared into the garage. She had never seen him distraught like this nor had she ever felt him so consumed by anger. The raw emotions emanating from his mere presence frightened her. So, she thought it might be best to leave him alone for a while. She didn’t exactly wish to be on the receiving end of his anger. Using all her restraint, Padmé remained in the kitchen, helping Beru Lars prepare dinner although Padmé wasn’t much good to her except for cutting up the vegetables. Most of the evening, Padmé spent staring out the window in the direction of the garage or biting and tearing away at her cuticles.

“Padmé,” Beru called to her, catching her staring again.

She blinked and stepped away from the window. “Yes, sorry. I was just thinking.”

“Dinner is ready. I’m going to set the table.” Beru approached her with a silver tray full of food in her hand. “Why don’t you bring this out to Anakin? He hasn’t eaten all day.”

Padmé sighed, taking the tray graciously. “Thank you, Beru. I’m just not sure that he’s in the mood for any company.”

“I think he’s probably always in the mood to see you,” Beru noted, before stepping out the kitchen.

Padmé was a little taken aback by her comment. Beru had been so confident in saying such a thing. Was the love they had for each other so apparent that even strangers picked up on it?

Her hands unsteadily holding up the food, Padmé went out to the garage. Anakin didn’t look up when she entered though she knew he felt her there. His attention was focused on some piece of junk he was fixing on the work bench.

She froze in the entrance, chilled by the anger he still carried inside, but she couldn’t leave him like this alone, even if she was afraid.

“I brought you something,” she said, stepping inside a little closer to him. “Are you hungry?”

He didn’t acknowledge her with his eyes. “The shifter broke,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. He paused for a moment—she thought he was done speaking—but he continued, “But... all it needs is a little help, and,” she heard a metallic tapping sound and then a click, “it’s as good as new. I broke it when I was out. I didn’t want to leave Cliegg’s bike like that. I know we have to get back to Naboo soon.”

“We don’t have to leave today, Ani.” She hoped he didn’t feel rushed to return right away. He needed to take this time to mourn.

Padmé set the tray down on the nearest surface. She was relieved that Anakin was actually speaking to her, but his avoidance of what happened out in the desert was apparent. It didn’t feel right for her to pry, but she was worried. He shouldn’t keep bottling up all of his feelings. Sooner or later, they would—

Crash.

Padmé whipped around to look at what had happened. Anakin stood at the workspace, but the piece he had been working on was on the floor, broken. In a panic, Padmé knelt at his feet and started picking up the little fragments silently.

Muttering curses, Anakin strode to the other side of the room pulling at his hair. As she was still trying to clean up the mess he had made, she heard another clink followed by another crash. Then another. And another. Padmé watched him hurling pieces of junk at the wall in a fit of rage. If she didn’t say something, he might destroy the Lars’s garage.

Padmé, knowing that he could never hurt her, ran into the field of fire. Holding up her hands, she shouted, “Stop it, Anakin. Just stop it.”

Anakin’s arms fell to his side and the last piece in his hand dropped to the floor. His pure blue eyes were flooded with tears that streamed down his face. Seeing him crying, she didn’t know what else to do but run to him and wrap her arms around his waist, holding him close to her. Anakin’s stiffness softened, and he slumped into her arms. He sobbed into her shoulder for a long time.

“It’s Obi-Wan’s fault. He wouldn’t let me go. And because of that my mother is dead.” His words were broken up by his sobs.

“Oh, Ani.” She cried too. There was nothing she could say that would make any of this better.

“Why couldn’t I save her, Padmé?” He lifted his head and held his face close. “I know I could have.”

Padmé wiped his hot tears away. His sadness broke her. She would do anything to see him happy again like that had been on Naboo only two days ago. It seemed so long ago now. “It’s not your fault. There was nothing you could have done.”

Shaking his head, he walked away from her. “I should have left the moment I had my first dream. I shouldn’t have waited around for permission. It’s. My. Fault.”

“You’re not all powerful, Ani!” she shouted, getting frustrated that he refused to look at the situation reasonably.

Evidently, he didn’t like that comment. This was the first time she saw untethered rage in his eyes. “Someday. Someday I will be. And nothing will be able to stop me from saving the people that I love.”

“Anakin, that’s not realistic,” she shot back. “You need to forgive yourself. Your mother would never hold this against you.”

“You weren’t there, Padmé.” He looked back at her, fresh tears building. “You didn’t see what I—” Anakin broke into another fit of sobs. She watched his shoulders slump, and his body shake as he cried again.

Padmé found her place at his side. She reached up and stroked the back of his neck. “Anakin, I know your mother would forgive you. She’s in a better place. She—”

“Not... after...” he swallowed, “what I’ve done.”

Padmé pulled him down with her, and they sat on the floor together. Anakin hugged his knees. He was shaking. His anger was gone. He was very cold. All she felt was fear. “What’s wrong, Ani? Tell me?”

“I-I killed them,” he shuttered. “The Tusken Raiders. The... whole village. No one’s left.”

There was a part of her that wanted to run. A part of her was telling her she wasn’t safe. This boy might hurt her. But she shook away those feelings, knowing that Anakin would never hurt her. She was horrified by what he had admitted. She was completely speechless. What should she do? How could she tell him that everything would be okay? What he had done was murderous.

“I saw what they did to my mother. I watched her die in my arms because of it. And something, something powerful took over. I just snapped. I know what I did was wrong,” he vented. “But I don’t feel sorry.”

Padmé drew him closer, hugging him tighter. She refused to judge him. Obi-Wan and the council were so critical of his every action. With his mother gone, he had no one else. He was all alone, and Padmé understood exactly how that felt... to have the weight of the world on your shoulders and no one to share your burdens with. That was what she had gone through as queen of Naboo when she was only fourteen. Anakin needed her. He needed a safe place, and above all, Padmé wanted to be that for him.

“Everything is going to be alright, Anakin. These feelings will fade. What you did... that’s not you. You were angry. You were all alone. What were you supposed to do?” She allowed herself to run her fingers through his hair.

Her words only seemed to make him cry more. He clung to her, sobbing into her chest.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Following Obi-Wan’s orders, Padmé retransmitted his message to the Jedi council. Her friend was in danger. The way the holomessage ended left her feeling very frightened. She hoped he was still alive. When Padmé looked over at Anakin, there was no expression on his face, his eyes looked merely uninterested, as if he didn’t care. Ever since he told her all of those horrible things he had done, sparing no detail, he hadn’t been the same. He was hiding himself from her. And she hated that! Everyone always hid their real feelings around her in the Senate. Anakin was the one person she could count on to be real with her.

“They’ll never get to Geonosis in time to save him. They’ll have to travel halfway across the galaxy.” On the console, Padmé pulled up a small but detailed image of the galaxy. “Look. We’re less than a parsec away.

Anakin stormed to the other side of the ship. “If he’s still alive.” His voice was ice cold.

A little resentment sparked in her gut. “Ani, are you really just going to sit here and let him die?” She scoffed. She couldn’t believe it. Was he actually blaming Obi-Wan for the death of his mother? “He’s your friend. Your mentor. Your—”

“He’s like my father!” Anakin shouted, his emotions finally breaking through once more. “But you heard Master Windu. If I disobey another mandate—”

“He gave you strict orders to protect me. And I,” Padmé spun her chair around to face the viewport, “I’m going to help Obi-Wan. So, if you intend to do your job, you’ll just have to come with me.”

As she was preparing the starship for takeoff, she saw a grin on Anakin’s lips from the corner of her eye. It warmed her heart because it meant that her Ani was still there underneath the grief and anger. She understood why he was still upset, but Obi-Wan didn’t have enough time for them to work through his pain.

“You’re sneaky,” he said. She could hear his smile as he took a seat beside her.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

Anakin sensed Padmé’s trepidation and uncertainty clearly as they stood in the back of the Geonosian chariot waiting to enter the coliseum. Two Geonosian guards tightened the handcuffs around each of their wrists and ankles, preventing their escape. Even if Anakin unlocked them using the Force, they didn’t have anywhere to run too. He had to play along and hopefully come up with a plan that would ensure Padmé’s safety. He had just lost his mother. He refused to lose her too.

“Don’t be afraid, Padmé.” It was a pathetic attempt to comfort her. “Obi-Wan and I will protect you with our lives.”

She looked over her shoulder. “I’m not afraid to die.”

Anakin figured she was only trying to maintain a brave front around him so as not to appear weak. “It’s only natural. I can sense that you’re afraid of something.”

Padmé bit her lip and looked away. “It’s not what’s out there.”

He blinked, considering her words. If not the coliseum, then what? What was making her tremble? “Nothing is going to happen to me or Obi-Wan. He and I have been through much worse,” he said with a chuckle, thinking back to when Obi-Wan fell into the nest of Gundarks.

“You don’t know that, Ani,” she sounded terribly defeated, and the battle had yet to begin.

“Well, tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded with her, “You shouldn’t go into battle with something like this burdening you.”

She shifted in her chains to face him once more, her beautiful eyes staring steadily into his. “Ani, I love you.”

Oh.

That’s what was weighing on her. That was the source of her fear. Her feelings for him.

“You do? You love me?” he said that as if it were an impossibility despite her confession. He couldn’t believe what he had heard leaving her lips. Anakin shook his head, doubting her still. “I thought you said that we couldn’t fall in love, that it would destroy us.”

“It looks like our lives might be destroyed anyway. I need you to know that I,” she leaned in, “truly, deeply love you.”

Anakin leaned in too. When their lips met, he kissed her as though he would never touch her again, that this was the last kiss they would ever share, the last time he would ever taste her. He held on as long as he could.

▪︎ ☐ ▪︎

As soon as they returned to Coruscant, Anakin was fitted with a prosthetic arm to replace the one he had lost in his battle with Dooku. It was probably stronger than his actual arm had ever been, constructed of durasteel, but he couldn’t deny he missed what he had lost. This arm was aesthetically disruptive to his physique, not that Padmé would care. There were countless adjustments he planned to tweak it to his liking as soon as it was merged with his body, but he didn’t have time to make any changes because he was asked to escort Padmé back to Naboo by the Jedi council.

On the flight back, after much discussion and elaboration about their futures and what they both wanted, they came to a mutual decision that would change their lives forever. Padmé had agreed to be his wife.

And that was why they stood here out on the terrace of her house in the lake country again. The hands he held in his own, as the holy man instructed them in exchanging their vows, belonged now to his wife, the woman he had waited a decade to love.

She was the most beautiful bride he had ever seen. She was covered in head to toe in white lace. She looked so pure. The love she held for him in her eyes was heavenly. He was so sure now that she truly was an angel. And this angel was his to care for and protect the rest of his life.

They shared their first kiss as husband and wife, and he could feel her tears against his skin. He cried too. This time they cried because of the joy they shared in promising to love each other until death. However, Anakin planned to love her much longer than that.

The orange sky was turning purple now. They had kissed so much his lips were sore, and he knew that they had only just begun loving each other tonight.

Anakin wouldn’t have cared if they were married or not, but Padmé had certain rules she lived by so he had no problem asking for her hand so that he could love her without restraint. Neither of them was confident that they would have much of a future now that the Republic had declared war. So, her initial objections to their relationship seemed less important now.

Anakin picked her up, and she giggled. “What are you doing, Ani?”

“Carrying you into the house. Isn’t this a custom of yours?”

Padmé hugged his neck a little more tightly. “Yes. I’m surprised you had time to do some research.”

She was very light to him, and he had no problem in carrying her all the way to the bedroom. He set her down in the center of the floor. Padmé turned to face him, burning desire emanating from her, and it was all for him. Suddenly, he was nervous. He knew what she wanted him to do, but this was her. And his first time.

Playfully, she prodded at his chest. “Aren’t you going to undress me?”

“Y-yes,” he replied sheepishly. “Turn around.”

With her back to him, she began unpinning her veil. The action didn’t take her long. Soon, her hair fell freely down her spine. She moved her long hair to the side to give him access to the back of her dress. Patiently, she waited for him to unbutton her. He was careful not to tear the fabric or to rip a button off. This was no doubt a very expensive gown.

His face turned bright red, realizing that she was completely naked underneath. She seemed completely unphased that there was no part of her hidden from his eyes. The only thing she wore was a silver necklace and hanging from it was the japor snippet he had carved out for her when he was a child. He was stunned to see that she kept it so close to her heart.

She guided his hands to her hips. Her skin was so smooth and delicate. He leaned down to press kisses against her neck.

“You’re an angel,” he whispered in her ear.