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The first time it happens, Tim doesn’t think anything of it. He is just cleaning up Lucy’s kitchen when he hears her muttering from the couch. He pauses and puts down the pan he’s holding and walks back over.
She is still curled up with blanket on her and she’s fast asleep. Her chest is rising and falling with each breath she takes.
He watches her closely, and he wishes he had gotten everything out before she fell asleep. He is just about to walk away when her voice stops him.
“Tim.” She mutters. He freezes and turns to look at her again. He waits a few seconds, and couple of beats and then— “Tim—I love—” He stares at her a little in disbelief as she shifts a little but doesn’t wake up.
He doesn’t move for several seconds, his brain still trying to catch up with his body. She was talking in her sleep? Why was she talking in her sleep? What was she about to say she loves him?
Tim studies her for a few more seconds before he heads back to the kitchen feeling a little winded.
He watches the couch as if he’s expecting her to pop up but she never does. He was going to let her sleep, and he would talk to her later.
Tim. I love you. I love—
***
The next time it happens is when Lucy comes in from the night shift absolutely exhausted and crashes out the minute her head hits the pillow. Tim watches her for a few minutes knowing that she is in a deep sleep and she won’t wake up anytime soon. He reaches over for his phone to turn off his alarm just in case when a voice makes him pause.
“I love you.” It’s Lucy’s voice but it sounds muffled and distant. “I love you.” Tim turns to look at her but she’s still fast asleep. She is clutching the blanket with her fingers and her chest rises and falls with each breath.
And just like last time he’s not sure what to do or say. He’s not even sure he should do anything. He never figured Lucy to talk in her sleep but—
Tim stands up and makes his way around the bed and presses a kiss to her forehead. He lets his lips linger there for a few seconds before he pulls back. “I love you too.” He says softly because asleep or not he wanted to let her know. Lucy doesn’t move nor does she open her eyes. He smiles a little and then backs away. “We will talk later okay?”
There’s more silence and Tim lets out a breath before he’s leaving the room as quietly as he can. They had both fallen into the routine of falling asleep in the other’s bed. Tim founds himself at Lucy’s apartment to welcome her home but she usually fell asleep right away. And it was difficult because he really wanted to talk to her. He really wanted to make sure they were on the same page and then ask her to move in with him.. again. He knows what he wants and that’s a future with Lucy. He wants it all with her and living together would just be the start to that. He just wants to be able to find time when she’s not about to fall over from exhaustion.
Tim takes a deep breath as he gathers all his stuff and leaves the apartment. He would talk to her later, and hopefully when she’s not fast asleep.
***
“Hey.” Tim says as soon as Lucy walks through the door. Lucy looks up, and he can see how exhausted she is. “How was your day—night?” Lucy sighs and slides onto one of the stools at the counter and looks at him.
“The dream team is not the dream team.” She mutters. Tim chuckles softly and shakes his head. Lucy had told him all about the Dream team and how they slept on the job. He knows it was frustrating her but he just encouraged her to make them see who was boss.
“I’m sorry.” He says leaning forward. “It hasn’t gotten any easier?” Lucy shrugs her shoulders and puts her head on the counter.
“A little but they still act like they are the best and can get away with stuff.” She mumbles looking up at him. “Don’t you have to get to work?”
“I do.” Tim confirms. “But I wanted to talk about something.” Lucy gives him a curious look and sits up a little.
“And what’s that?” She asks. Tim sighs and comes around the counter to sit next to her. He turns her around so she’s facing him.
“You talk in your sleep.” He says. Lucy’s mouth falls open a little and she looks like she doesn’t believe him.
“What?”
“The morning you came home and I was cooking all that food.” He says Lucy furrows her eyebrows at him but nods. “You said my name and you started to say something but—”
“But?” Lucy questions him. Tim swallows a little and then shrugs his shoulders. “You were fast asleep and I didn’t want to bother you so—”
Lucy stares at him almost in disbelief. “Why didn’t you say anything?” She asks. Tim closes his eyes and then opens them to find Lucy still staring at him.
“You talked again.” He says. “When you got into bed yesterday morning. You fell asleep right away but you talked again.” He watches her closely hoping this wasn’t scaring her off, he actually didn’t mind her talking in her sleep. It was like his own secret conversation with her.
“What did I say this time?” She asks looking a little nervous.
“I love you.” Tim replies trying not to smile. Lucy swallows hard, her face impassive as she leans forward.
“And did you say anything back?” She asks. Tim nods his head, his hand going to her knee.
“I love you too.” He says softly. Lucy is silent for a few minutes like she’s trying to process what he just said. And then a small smile light up her face, and she looks at him like he just hung the moon and the stars for her.
“I do. You know.” She says. “I love you.” Tim can’t help the smile that stretches across his face this time.
“Good to know.” He says. “I love you too.” Lucy smiles at him, and then leans away from him.
“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?” She asks. “I know we started to talk the other day but I—”
“Fell asleep.” He says. “I know.” He takes a deep breath and then lets it out. This was his chance to say everything again. This was his chance to let it all out.
“Tim.” Lucy says. “You can say what you want to say. I’m not going to fall asleep again. Not yet anyway. “
Tim nods and leans forward. “I know these past few months have been confusing. And I know we have talked some. But I want us again. I want to give us a real chance and I’m not going to pressure you Lucy. I won’t. I just know what I want and I want to make sure we are on the same page.” He says. Lucy nods and leans forward too as Tim continues determined to get this all out.
“I have worked on myself and I am trying to repair the damage I did to myself and our relationship. I’m not going to hurt you like that again okay? Because if we do this again— you are it for me. You are my future and—” He pauses not even realizing how close Lucy is to him right now.
“What are you saying?” She whispers. She sounds tired but determined not to fall asleep. Tim sigh softly and puts his hand on her cheek.
“I want to give us a real shot again. I want to do this again but l want to do everything with you.” He pauses again but Lucy doesn’t say anything so he continues. “I want you to move in with me.”
There’s a brief silence and then— “You want to live together?” Lucy asks her voice soft and quiet. “At your house?”
“Yes.” He says. “Like I said Lucy, I know what I want and that’s you. That’s us. And I think this would be the next big step for us.”
So you would actually be my roommate?” She asks a smile twitching on her lips. Tim chuckles but nods his head.
“I guess so.” He says. “Or bedmate.” Lucy laughs and leans forward to kiss him. She doesn’t let up for a few minutes.
“That’s a lot to spring on a girl.” She says but she’s smiling big and Tim can’t help but smile back. “Yes. I will move in with you.”
“Really?” He asks sounding a little surprised. “You want to live with me?” Lucy nods her still smiling at him as she leans in.
“Of course I do.” She says. “It’s the next step for us and it would give us a real chance right?”
“Agreed.” He says softly. Lucy smiles at him and leans in to kiss him.
“You don’t mind me talking in my sleep?” She asks a teasing lilt to her voice. Tim shakes his head, and he can’t stop smiling. He’s not sure he ever will.
“No.” He says. “I kind of like it.” Lucy shoots him a look but it’s full of love and awe.
“Good to know.” She mutters and leans forward to give him another kiss and he soaks it in. “Good to know.”
***
The next time Lucy talks in her sleep is just after she moves in with him. Tim is just coming out of the bathroom when he sees Lucy curled up on the bed. He shakes his head a little, it had been her day off but she was somehow still exhausted.
Tim walks over so he can cover her up a little when her voice once again stops him in his tracks. “Tim.” She mutters. He pauses but doesn’t take his eyes off of her. Like the other times—she’s fast asleep and in one position. Her breathing is even and she looks peaceful. “You are my home.”
Tim blinks a couple of times before he’s climbing up on the bed with her. He pulls the blanket over and presses a kiss to her forehead.
They had only been living together for about a week but being able to come home to Lucy everyday was enough for him. And even if their schedules were still opposite it was worth it because he knows she would always come home to him. It was the beginning of their new start, it was the beginning of their second chance and he was soaking it up as much as he could.
She was and always would be his home too. No matter where they were or where they were living.
She was his home.
“You are my home too.” He mutters even though she probably can’t hear him. “Forever and always.” He presses another kiss to her forehead and just soaks her in wondering how he got so lucky.
It’s silent after that but Tim doesn’t mind. He just closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep. He has the woman he loves by his side and they are making his house their home.
And it was worth it.
***
Tim wakes up to the sun shining in on him. He stretches out and looks over to see Lucy watching him.
“What?” He asks yawning a little. “Why are you awake?” She shrugs and leans in to kiss him.
“You talk in your sleep too.” She says. Tim raises his eyebrows at her a little surprised.
“What?”
“I got up last night to use the bathroom and you were muttering something.” She says a small grin on her face.
“What was I saying?” He asks a little nervous at her answer. It’s not like he has any deep dark secrets but—
“I couldn’t understand you at first.” She admits and he breathes a sigh of relief. “But then—” Tim freezes and looks at her.
“But then?” He questions her. “What did I say?” Lucy grins at him and slots her leg between his pulling him closer.
“You said you were never going to let me go.” She says. “And I was the love of your life.”
“Did I really?” He asks because he wouldn’t put it past his subconscious brain to come up with that.
“Something along those lines.” She says. “More or less.” Tim rolls his eyes a little and this time he leans in to kiss her.
“Well it’s all true.” He says. “I’m not going to walk away again. This is it for me Luce. You are it for me.”
“And the other part?” She asks raising her eyebrows. “Am I the love of your life?” She looks hopeful and a little nervous like he’s going to say something that will break her heart.
“Yes.” He says his voice full of conviction. “Yes. You are the love of my life.”
Lucy smiles at him but this time there are tears in her eyes. “I love you so much Tim.” She mutters. “So much.”
Tim doesn’t say anything just leans in to kiss her. They kiss lazily for a few minutes before she pulls back and rests her forehead against his.
“I love you.” She mutters. “Whether we are talking in our sleep or not.” Tim smiles at her and kisses her again feeling nothing but warmth and love for her.
“I love you too.” He says softly. “And I will tell you that every single day.”
“You better.” She says teasingly. “Not just in your sleep.” Tim chuckles and pulls her in close and they would have to get back to reality soon by this—
This was perfect.
And he hopes he always gets those secret little conversations between them.