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It was so good to be able to laugh and joke with my friends like this again. And this time, we really had something to celebrate. V'ehxness was gone. Eito was gone. The war was over.
There was plenty to mourn, too. There were three headstones behind the school to make sure we never forgot what Darumi, Shouma and Eva meant to us. And I was going to make a fourth one for FB. He was just as much a member of this team as anybody else. But at that moment, our spirits were soaring. Our joy and hope for the future was totally overwhelming. We did it.
As we laughed and hugged, I suddenly felt a withering sensation in my arms. Then it spread to my legs. Then I got lightheaded. I was exhausted. I was really exhausted. We had been fighting for hours, and now that the adrenaline was starting to fade, my body was reminding me just how far past its limit we had gone.
I surveyed the rest of the group, the mere act of turning my head taking what felt like tremendous energy. Gaku was sprawled out on the ground, snores escaping his open mouth. Kako had her face planted into Ima's shoulder; he was struggling to stay awake himself. Even Hiruko looked like she had been run ragged. Figuring this was probably a good time for us to call it a day and get some rest, I struggled to my feet, only to be hit with a wave of dizziness. Making it to my room was gonna be a challenge.
"Here, let me help," a gentle voice called from behind me. I felt Nozomi's delicate hand grab my shoulder as she steadied me.
"Come on, let me take you back to your room."
"No, I'm okay, Nozomi...besides, I'm sure you're tired too..."
I really needed the help, but Nozomi was always putting herself last. I didn't want to make her help me. Plus, I was still feeling pretty awkward about that whole situation where I confessed to her in the middle of a battle with Eito.
"No, please, let me help," she insisted. I didn't have the energy to argue any more. Arguing with Nozomi was pointless anyway, she's got to be the most stubborn girl in history. With Nozomi's help, I staggered through the school until I finally made it to my bedroom.
She dropped me off in my bed and turned to leave. I really wanted to talk to her though. But I was so nervous! What if my confession was too embarrassing? Does she hate me now? It was such a stupid thing to do in the heat of battle...what the hell was wrong with me...
"Takumi?" Her voice surprised me. I was expecting the creak of my door shutting instead. "Do you mind if we talk for a bit?"
Oh boy, here it comes. The rejection. She was going to tell me how badly I embarrassed her, how she just saw me as a friend, how she could never love me because of the spectre of Karua hanging over me forever and ever. My heart was plummeting.
"Yeah, of course," I replied, trying my best to hide my utter terror.
She deactivated her armor and pulled my desk chair up to the bedside before taking a seat.
"Listen, Nozomi, I'm really sorry about confessing to you like that, in front of everyone...I know it must have been embarrassing, it was really stupid of me, but I just–"
"Takumi, stop," she said more forcefully than I expected. "Let me talk."
My heart slammed in my chest. I held my breath, waiting for the dreaded words to come.
"I want to accept your confession."
I felt like a tornado had suddenly stopped inside me, leaving my organs rattling and shaking in my abdomen. That didn't sound like a rejection. Those weren't rejection related words.
"You...what?"
"I feel the same way about you, Takumi. Don't you remember the fireworks show? When I collapsed, I was just about to...well, I was going to confess to you. I wanted to take the chance of such a fun and beautiful event to tell you that I...love you."
"You...you...are you sure?! You really mean it, Nozomi?!" The adrenaline was back, and I felt like I could run a marathon. I couldn't believe it.
"Of course I mean it, Takumi," she said, smiling that warm, compassionate smile that melted my heart every time I saw it. "You've been so kind to me, and so reliable, so thoughtful...the more time we spent together, the more I found myself caring about you, and eventually, I didn't think I could live my life without you...that's when I realized. I want us to be more than friends, Takumi. I want us to spend our lives together."
"Nozomi!" I sprang out of the bed and threw my arms around her. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Heavy sobs wracked my chest as Nozomi gently patted my back. There was nothing to be sad about–in fact, I think I felt happier than I'd ever felt in my life. It was just such a tremendous release of emotions that I couldn't contain it. All the anguish and despair had been for this moment. Holding her in my arms as she died, as that name escaped her lips...Takky...coming back in time, all the challenges we went through in a hundred and sixty five days...everything was for this. I had done it. We had done it. Nozomi Kirifuji is saved.
"There's just one thing I want to ask you though, Takumi," she said, waiting until my crying had finally started to subside.
"Of course, anything! What is it?"
"What about Karua?"
It was such a loaded question. What about Karua, indeed? But once again I cast my mind back to the previous timeline, holding her in my arms as she breathed her last. The scar. Takky. I don't know how it was possible, but Nozomi and Karua were the same person.
"Listen, this is gonna sound so crazy, but just hear me out. I don't know how it's possible, but I know it's true. Somehow, some way, you are Karua."
"But like I said, I've never been called Karua, I don't remember anything like that..."
"You have a scar on your abdomen. It goes from your right hip, diagonally across your stomach, and ends just under the left side of your ribcage. You got it when you were five years old. You were in a car accident."
Nozomi paused for a moment before answering that. "Did I tell you about that in the previous timeline?"
"No," I said. "Even in the previous timeline, I already knew about it. Because Karua had that scar."
"What...? I mean, could that be a coincidence?"
"It's not a coincidence. In the last time, after V'ehxness fatally wounded you, I held you in my arms. I moved your Class Armor up to try to put pressure on the wound, and I saw it. It was exactly the same. I had seen that scar on Karua a hundred times, it was burned into my memory. Yours was identical, down to the last stitch mark. It was the same scar. There's no way it could be a coincidence."
"But how?"
"I don't know how, exactly. I think something happened to your memories. And probably mine too, honestly. It wouldn't surprise me if all of our memories were messed with somehow."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because, when you were dying, you said something else. You said 'I remember now, you're Takky, from back then.'"
"I...said that?" Nozomi sounded shocked.
"I was just as stunned as you are now. And I still don't fully understand what you meant. But nobody ever called me Takky except for Karua. Not even my mom. I don't know what happened to us, I don't know how, I don't know why, but somehow, you are Karua."
"So...what does that mean, then? For us, I mean. Is it Nozomi that you confessed to? Or Karua?"
I paused. Karua was the person I had been fighting for, sure. But through some unknown process, Karua had become Nozomi. This meant that whenever we returned to the Satellite, there would be no Karua waiting there for me. She was Nozomi now. Karua was my past. Nozomi was my future.
"I confessed to Nozomi. When we first met, in the previous timeline, I was drawn to you because I thought you were Karua. But over the course of that timeline...and this one...I fell in love with Nozomi. And then I fell in love all over again. I have no idea what happened to your memories, or to mine, that caused this identity mixup, but the important thing to me is that you, Nozomi, are the person I want to be with now and into the future. I don't want you to go back to being Karua from the past. Nozomi Kirifuji is the girl I love."
"Takumi...!" Nozomi squeezed me tight and buried her head into my shoulder. I could feel her tears starting to soak through my shirt.
"I love you, Nozomi," I said, rubbing her back and bringing her as close as I could. She felt so warm in my hands, like she was radiating happiness.
"I love you too, Takumi," she squeaked back, her voice pushing hard through sobs. The words sounded sweeter in my ears than I could have ever imagined. I pulled away from our embrace and looked into her eyes, wet and glistening with tears, but with that beautiful smile looking more radiant on her face than ever before. She leaned forward, closing her eyes, and I met her halfway. Our first kiss.
Her lips were soft and sweet, so dainty and delicate, but stronger and more forceful than I expected. Fitting for the fragile and sickly girl whose stubbornness and determination outstripped the whole rest of our team combined. We only kissed for a short moment–I think both of us were too nervous to continue–but I had stars in my eyes nonetheless.
Her weight suddenly leaned into me, almost like she was collapsing. I still had her firmly in my grip, but she slumped over and went slightly limp.
"Nozomi?! Are you okay?!" Please, no more rejection symptoms. Not again. It's too much.
"Oh, I'm fine, Takumi, I think it's just everything catching up with me. The battle, this whole...confession thing...I'm exhausted."
Once she said that, I realized that the shot of adrenaline had subsided for me, too. Tiredness was gripping my bones. I felt like I could fall asleep any second.
"Me too, actually..."
"I'm just gonna...fall asleep right here, if that's okay..." Nozomi mumbled, her eyes starting to close already. She leaned over and plopped her head onto my pillow. Even like this, worn down and crumpled up into a messy pile, she looked perfect. This situation left me with a problem though. Nozomi was sleeping in my bed. Where was I going to sleep? I tucked my blanket around her and stood up.
"You stay here, I'll take the couch," I said quietly, making my way to the other side of the room. Before I could even sit down, Nozomi rolled over and lifted her head to face me.
"Takumi...come back..." she groaned.
"Oh, uh...okay," I said, not really sure what to do at this point.
"Come cuddle with me, Takumi..."
This couldn't be real. Nozomi was asking me to cuddle. Had I already fallen asleep and this was a dream? That must have been it. This wasn't real, it was just a dream, so there was no harm in going over there, because I would wake up on the couch and everything would be normal.
"Are you sure...?" I asked hesitantly.
"I need a plushie to sleep...come be my plushie, Takumi, pleeeease," she pleaded, only just barely awake at this point. Did she sleep with a stuffed animal? That's...really adorable...
Carefully, I slipped under the covers, making sure not to disturb her or push her out of her space. I was so nervous I thought my heart would explode. I was really in my bed with Nozomi. I turned over to try and give her some space, but she reached out and pulled me close to her with a shocking amount of force. She had me held tight as her little spoon, and I didn't think I had the energy to break free of her grasp. I could feel her burying her face into the back of my neck, my own face flushing with heat. Her breath was so warm on my skin.
"Mmm...you smell nice, Takumi...and you're so comfy...you're a good plushie," she mumbled, getting quieter and quieter. How was I supposed to sleep like this?! My heart was slamming in my chest. My brain was desperately trying to take in every possible sensation of Nozomi's body against mine. Her breath. Her hair. Her hands, her fingertips, her smell, her warmth. And before long, her little snores. I was so happy I thought I was going to cry again, but the exhaustion overpowered me and soon I was asleep.
The morning announcement blared into my ears, rousing me from my lengthy sleep. The events of the previous day started to replay themselves in my head. V'ehxness. Eito. Nozomi. That's when I realized. I was supposed to wake up on the couch, because that whole "Nozomi wanting to cuddle with me" thing was just a dream, right? But I was in my bed. I looked down, and there was a slender arm, dusted with downy white hair, wrapped around me.
It really happened.
I rolled over to look at Nozomi, who was rubbing her eyes. She had fallen asleep in her regular clothes, but now she was just wearing a t-shirt and shorts. My t-shirt and shorts. Wait, mine?!
"N-Nozomi...you changed clothes...?"
"Oh, yeah, I woke up to use the bathroom and I figured I should probably change, since I had fallen asleep with my day clothes on...I hope it's alright that I just grabbed some of yours," she said sheepishly.
"O-of course it's alright!" I stammered. Nozomi...in my clothes...like we were a real couple. Wait, this meant she had looked through my closet! My face turned bright red with the realization.
"Heehee, don't be embarrassed, Takumi," she chuckled. "I wasn't snooping through your stuff or anything."
"Wanna go downstairs and get some breakfast?"
"Mmm, in a minute," Nozomi said, laying her head back onto my pillow. "Can we stay in bed just a little longer? I fell asleep so fast yesterday...I kinda want some awake cuddling time."
She didn't need to ask me twice. I laid back down and turned to face her, wrapping my arm around her. She returned the gesture. Her eyes were sparkling with a warm smile.
"So Takumi," she began, a lightness to her voice that I hadn't heard in a long time, "what should we do now?"
"Well...with everything that happened yesterday, I really didn't have the energy to think about it. So I guess I don't know. But whatever we do, I want all of us to do it together. You and I and all our friends."
"I think I have an idea," she said. "We've killed V'ehxness and the missile launch is aborted. I think it's time for us to end this war for good."
"Haven't we already ended it, though?"
"Humanity won't just give up now. Neither will the Futurans. If we just go back to our regular lives, the war is going to keep going on and on and on. More fighting, more death. We'll be leaving everything unfinished. But we're so close! The stage is set for the war to be over! I think we can do it."
Honestly, I didn't know how we would even approach this. We were teenagers and warriors, not politicians and leaders. But I could see that spark in Nozomi's eyes, and that meant she had already decided. Arguing with her at this stage would be a waste of time. And besides, what reason did I have to not do it? This seemed like as good a plan as any. As long as Nozomi and I were together, nothing else really mattered to me.
"Do you have any idea how we might accomplish that?"
"..." She didn't.
"I was kind of hoping you might have some thoughts on that, Takumi."
"Not right now, but...I think you're right. We should do this. All of us, together. It's the right thing to do. I should have known it would be what you wanted...you're always so selfless, Nozomi."
"Oh, I don't think so, I'm not that selfless..."
"You absolutely are," I retorted. "You're such a kind and caring person, always looking after everyone else. I really admire you for that, it's incredible."
"Takumi..." Nozomi was blushing.
"Sometimes it makes me a little worried though. You need to look out for yourself sometimes, too. I know you want to help others and make the world a better place, and that's beautiful and wonderful and kind, but you gotta live for yourself a little too."
"Hrm...well..." Nozomi turned her eyes away. I hope I didn't touch a nerve with that.
"Truth be told, Takumi, it's not just for everyone else's sake that I want to end this war..."
"What do you mean?"
"I have a dream for the future. You'll probably laugh because it sounds so silly, but it's one I've been thinking about for a while."
"No, I would never laugh!" I couldn't laugh at Nozomi's dream. Not a chance.
"Well...I want to live in a little cottage, with a huge flower garden. Just a few rooms, nothing special, nice and cozy. But outside, bursting with flowers. Every kind of flower you've ever seen and more. Every colour of the rainbow, exploding out of the ground. And I want you to be there with me."
"Nozomi..."
"And I want it to be here, on Futurum. Under the open sky, with the sunrises and sunsets and rain and fog and stars. I want you and I to stay here, on the surface, and make a life for ourselves."
Finishing her explanation, she buried her face into the pillow.
"I'm sorry if that sounds stupid, or cheesy, or weird or anything. I know it sounds like a really childish dream, and wanting to stay on a war-torn planet when the perfectly safe and controlled TRC is up there on the Satellite. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about this for a couple weeks now. I've made up my mind that this is what I want."
"Nozomi, there's nothing stupid or weird or cheesy about that. It's actually...really beautiful. I can see it so clearly in my head. And it sounds like a dream that I'd love to share with you."
"Really?" she asked, her eyes poking out from the pillow. "You'd be okay staying here?"
"If it's with you, that's not even a question," I responded. "Besides, it's not like we would be cut off from our lives on the Satellite forever. The only reason we haven't been able to contact anybody is because Sirei didn't give us the means to. But that doesn't mean contact is actually impossible. Staying here isn't a sacrifice, it's just a change."
"So you see why I want to end the war now," she said, more serious this time. "Of course I want the killing to end. But it's also...we can't have our dream cottage in a war-torn hellscape, can we?"
"Indeed we can't," I replied. So she really had been thinking of herself. She was just afraid to admit it.
"So we'll just have to make Futurum the perfect planet to live our dream," I added. "You and me and the rest of the SDU. With all we've accomplished already, we can definitely manage this. I believe in us."
Nozomi pulled me into her as tightly as she could. I could feel her heart beating against my face.
"I really love you so much, Takumi. Thank you for everything."
"I love you too, Nozomi," I said, a huge smile bursting across my face. Every time those words passed her lips I was so happy I thought I could cry. But before I got too comfortable, a massive growl split the silence. Nozomi's stomach was rumbling like a starving beast.
"We should maybe get some breakfast," Nozomi laughed. I was hungry too. We got up and changed into our regular clothes, ready to talk about our plan with the others. As we walked out of my room and strode across the roof, she slipped her hand into mine, our fingers locking together under the sweet warmth of a new day on Futurum.