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The Void is always around us lying in wait for us to stray closer to the edge where all it takes is one push for it to consume yet another soul. It never leaves. But people are just unable to notice it. Busy in their hectic lives, they do not realise how dangerously close they are to the edge. The Void’s eternally ravenous but it is also patient. It relishes in feelings of loneliness and despair, takes its time to chew and savour the remaining hope in a being before devouring them fully. As they become one with the emptiness, the Void is rejuvenated. It is a mutually beneficial relationship; the Void gets sustained and people get to disappear and escape their misery. What more could they ask for?
It knows that favouritism is beneath itself. It is unbecoming for the least it owes to these pitiful creatures is to be impartial. And so it was. No matter what differences they might have had, all are one and the same in the belly of the Void. The Void is always just. Yet, could it be considered cheating if it took its time enjoying the taste of some more than the others? It couldn’t be helped. All were broken and, yet, some were just in more pieces. Isolated in a tower above all else, no one could reach them. People such as these were a feast for it. Such as one of his favourites: Robert Reynolds.
Perceived as a danger by many, all of whom were previously indifferent to him, Bob was special. For it was Bob who had opened the door for the Void to seep into the world. For a while, it didn’t have to wait for people to give themselves to it but could gorge on as many as it wished to. Though that experience didn’t last long because even the wretched Bob had a bunch of wretches who came out of nowhere to his aid. Together, they inflicted on the Void a crushing and humiliating defeat. One that it would never forget. The New Avengers, as the fools called themselves, would have to answer. The misguided belief that It was exclusive to Bob. It coveted each one of them in equal measure. It longed to take every soul that crossed its path into It’s embrace, to witness them disintegrate within itself until they were one with the Void. Even if they never noticed, It is always there. But, for now, it’s Bob who needed attention.
************************************
Bob was nothing if not predictable. Granted, it will take longer for him to chicken out this time than it usually does; his new ‘friends’ had turned out to be more distracting than they were given credit for. A pesky little bunch they were, these New Avengers.
“So, whose idea was this dinner again?”
It was Bucky who broke the awkward silence as they all looked around the table and at each other. Even before the accusatory glances turned towards the culprit responsible,he had known. Of course, it had to be him.
“Why are you looking at me like that? We are a team and I thought potluck dinners foster harmony and friendship and all that bullshit.” Alexei shrugged.
Walker and Ava shared a familiar glance with each other as if they were bracing for what was coming next.
“Except you conveniently forgot to mention it was a potluck genius! A potluck where each of us has to bring something we cooked ourselves. You didn’t tell us that and now we are without food. We thought you were going to arrange that!” Yelena shouted slamming her fists on the table.
“Yelena, how could you possibly think that? I am just an old man. How can I possibly cook for these many people.” In that moment, a perfect stranger could have mistaken Alexei Shostakov for a meek father at the mercy of his cranky daughter. But the companions seated on that table, each of whom had their own demons to wrestle with, who had faced death and oblivion together and came back from it, knew better.
“Don’t you dare play this helpless old man card with me now, Alexei. Not now. Not when I am fucking starving and there is no food to be seen anywhere.” The only one more dangerous than a former assassin was a hungry former assassin who had skipped lunch.
It was then that Bob finally mustered up the courage to speak up “Yelena, about the food, I have got something –”
“Calm down, everybody. It’s not too late to order a pizza.” Bucky interjected. Someone had to step up and mediate before the matter escalated.
“I am not in mood for a pizza tonight. Anyone up for fried chicken?” Ava spoke up.
“I don’t know. Chicken doesn’t sound exactly appetizing after we all got thrashed by a live sized one the other day,” Walker said.
“Hey that’s not fair. I was high on meth.” Bob’s face was flushed. He would sooner face the Void a hundred times over than his addled self dressed in an overgrown chicken costume one more time.
Alexei shook his head. “Now, now, no food from outside. This is supposed to be a family dinner with home cooked food that is supposed to bring us closer -”
“Well, then what have you cooked, Dad?! And will it be enough for us all?”Yelena snapped. Father or not, she was not letting Alexei get away with it. She had to eat something.
“I can do something about the food -” Bob started before getting interrupted again.
“I did cook. Made you some of your favourite beef stroganoff.”
“Really? Then why don’t I see it anywhere? Where is it?”
“I slipped on the kitchen floor.” Alexei said mournfully.
Yelena rolled her eyes. Bob thought she was kind of cute when she did that at times; but he had sworn to himself he would never tell her that.
“This is it? This is the excuse you could come up with. I am not a kid anymore, Alexei.”
“You think I’m lying? How could you?”
Walker couldn’t take it any longer. “As much as I would love to continue with the soap opera, we are all starving here. Something needs to be done. Bucky, just ask everyone what they want to have and order in.”
Bob opened his mouth again but no words came out. Perhaps it was better this way. Who knows whether they would have liked it or not? He would just be sparing himself from the inevitable embarrassment.
“Shut up, all of you.” Bucky hadn’t spoken much the entire evening but there was little which escaped his watchful eye. “You were saying something, Bob?”
All eyes turned towards him now. This was it. The moment he had been waiting for. All he had to do was seize it.
“I have made us all some casserole. I had nothing to do all day so I thought I might as well as cook.”
“This is what I was talking about. The family that breaks bread together, stays together.” Alexei bellowed.
“Okay, now that we are done fighting among ourselves, can we get to the part where we eat?” Ava said.
And, for the first time in the entire day, the band of misfits turned superheroes agreed on something.
The period between the moments of the casserole getting served on their plates and and everyone taking a bit of it seemed like an eternity. When they started eating, Bob couldn’t look at their faces anymore and only stared at his own plate while counting his fingers under the table.
“What if it’s horrible? What if they hate it? Oh my god, what have I done?” he thought to himself
And so he would have remained lost in his head had it not been for a loud thump on the back that jolted him out of it.
“You never told us you could cook, Bobby?!” Walker was patting his back now.
“It’s been a long time since I tasted a casserole this good,” Ava chimed in
“I couldn’t have done better.” Alexei said.
“It’s really good, Bob.” Bucky spoke.
Bob couldn’t believe what he was hearing then.
“They liked it! They like what I made.” he thought to himself. A familiar exhilaration flooded his senses. The last time he felt that way was when he had taken to the skies for the first time. It seemed like ages had transpired since then. It’s been so long since someone complimented his cooking.
How do you know they are not saying all this just to make you happy? What makes you so sure that they enjoyed it? Open your eyes, my dear fool. They pity you which is why they put up with you.
The Void never rests. Nor is it distracted. All it needs is an opening.
Bob felt a knot tightening in his stomach as the rest of his body froze. He began to press his fingers, hesitant to look up and face those next to him. He was way too familiar with covert glances of sympathy camouflaged by kind but insincere words. Uncomfortably so. He was used to it. The thought of seeing one of these in the eyes of his new team members terrified him. He couldn’t bear it. Suddenly, he was no longer there with them in the dining room.
Crouching down with his back against the wall of a damp, isolated alley, he was hugging his knees to his chest and had his face buried within them. Sobbing.
If it had a form right then and there, the Void could have chuckled. This was not an unfamiliar scene whenever Bob was concerned. The man courted misery and pursued it as relentlessly as one would a beloved. Such is his familiarity with isolation that even the mere hint of outside company overwhelms him. How very typical of him. It wasn’t raining at the moment but those chosen few privy to the little wretch’s piercing thoughts would have felt them relentlessly hammering against their being like raindrops.
Poor, little miserable Bob. Keep up with this. Stay right there and hold on to this thought. You are close. Very close. For how long are they going to tolerate you?
It was right. Once again, Bob had overestimated his worth. He couldn’t even tap into the Sentry anymore. What use was he?
Yet, something felt amiss.
Yelena.
She hadn’t said a word. Not to him or to anyone else. Could it be that she found the food so horrible that she couldn’t even bring herself to lie about it? Maybe it was for the better. If he could trust anyone not to lie to him, it’s Yelena. She was many things, but dishonest wasn’t one of them. He had to find out what she thought. What’s the worst that could happen? If anything, Bob would know better than to be presumptuous from now onwards.
He had to face her.
************************************
“Don’t do it. It’s a bad idea,” Ava warned her.
“What do you think I am going to do anyway?” Yelena asked innocuously. Lying down on the couch, she had her tablet close to her face. No way Ava could see what she was doing right now.
“I don’t need to go through your browser history to know what you’re upto. Your face automatically switches between glow and frown whenever you’re going through posts and comments about us.”
“Hey, I don’t frown,” Yelena protested. “Or glow, for that matter.”
Ava raised an eyebrow. “I know how it feels to be…………..noticed. To be appreciated. But don’t allow yourself to be swayed by words. Least of all theirs. It will take but one moment for them to tear us down.”
They
Yelena couldn’t help but feel that Ava worried too much. She spoke of them as if they were warmongering aliens or beings from a parallel dimension invading earth, these harmless anonymous people on the Internet. Yelena understood her friend’s concern; she knew better than to mistake some faceless stranger’s adulation for genuine care. But, once a while, it felt good.Really good. No doubt, the public as well as the Internet had been caught by surprise when Valentina presented the New Avengers (so were the New Avengers themselves, for that matter). Though slowly, the narrative had begun to shift in their favour. People talked more about them and positively on top of that. There were even rumours of Wheaties getting them on the cover. Well, Alexei is going to be pleased about that.
“Don’t worry, Ava. We all know that, at the end of the day, whatever they say has no value. What we know of each other, what we are doing and are going to do does.”
“Aren’t you right about that?” Ava seemed reassured now. “By the way, have you had lunch yet? Or are you saving space for the big dinner Alexei has planned for tonight.”
Yelena scoffed. “You know better than to take him seriously. For all we know, we’ll most probably end up ordering pizza.”
They both shared a hearty laugh before Ava left the room and Yelena was left alone with her tablet and musings. What should she do now? She could watch a movie. Or catch up on that old tv show. Or she could just…………..
“Don’t go there. Not anymore.” Ava’s voice rang in her head.
But, still, after saving both Bob and the people of New York and getting Valentina under your thumb for good,would it hurt to indulge in a little occasional treat? Just this once. It won’t take more than a few minutes.
It was that voice again. The little voice that tempted her to take a leap of faith. And so she would.
Funny as it might sound, Yelena had never been on a roller coaster. As a child, she was too scared to try it out and Melina had to stay back with her while Alexei and Natasha went ahead for the ride. Afterwards, well, Dreykov wasn’t exactly the kind of person to take his Widows in training to the amusement park on weekends, was he? In the years that followed, she jumped off airplanes and the tallest of buildings. But she was yet to try out the roller coaster. But, in that moment, as she clicked on a particular post about them in anticipation and was met with a flood of comments praising their team, she wondered if this is how everyone feels while descending with a great speed after being elevated to a certain height. If what one experienced while scrolling down and down with everyone acknowledging them and gushing on them one after another was as thrilling as the twists and turns while seated on the trains of that joyride, she never wanted it to end. She wanted to hold on to that feeling.
There were the usual rude comments, of course. About their murky pasts, about how they could never live up to the legacy of the Avengers that came before, of how their team was a downgrade and all that. She rolled her eyes.
“Trolls. They’re so unoriginal,” she thought to herself.
There were some funny ones too. Most were on Alexei and justly so. Some were speculating about Ava and John’s relationship and the possibility of them being into each other. Only if Ava had not left so soon.
“Oh, I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces tonight when I tell them,” she snortled. Before she knew it, hours flew by and she was lying there on the couch, not taking her eyes off the screen for a moment.
Then came that one comment like a splash of icy water.
Any tea on that ugly guy who hangs out with them?
Bob. They were talking about Bob. She gritted her teeth. The warning bells were loud and clear. It was time to close all tabs and let it end right there. But, as if her fingers were possessed, she couldn’t stop.
Knew him in high school. He was always a weirdo loner. Gave me creepy vibes.
Where did they pull him out from? His mom’s basement?
Looks kinda inbred to me. We're sure he isn’t an alien?
They didn’t stop there. There was more. More jibes. She couldn’t either. Like one would scratch a rash till it bled, she kept scrolling until she couldn’t take it anymore and slammed the stupid device across the floor. Let Valentina pay for that. It should have made her feel better. Rather, all she felt was agitation.
“Don’t bother yourself with it. You have survived what these losers can’t even imagine in their wildest dreams. You are more thick skinned than that,” she muttered.
But, then, it was not about her. It was Bob. Bob, whose uncertain eyes stood in clear contrast with that beaming smile he carried around. Bob, who had risked his life for them while unaware of what he was capable of. Bob, who was gentle. They didn’t even know him and he was condemned.
It was disturbing. It also didn’t help that she had not eaten or slept for hours. Dinner time was upon them. Yelena needed to eat. She needed a shower and a nap. She also needed to shout at someone. Or maybe, add in a punch or two.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur. When the food was finally served, she dug in without a word and kept going for one serving after another. All else could wait. She was famished.
When she was finally done, she looked up and found Bob staring at her.
************************************
“You…….have got some food on your lips,” he said without taking his eyes off her.
No sooner than he said that, she smacked her lips.
“There? Is it alright now?” She smiled. “Tell me something, Bob. You didn’t find this recipe online, did you?”
He shook his head.
“No. It’s my mom’s. She used to make it on special occasions.”
“Good. That’s good. The internet’s a waste of time anyway.”
The Void knew the signal for retreat when he saw it. Tonight it will have to go hungry. But someday, it would feed and there’ll be no one to stop it from doing so.
“You need to eat, Bob. You haven’t touched your food.” Yelena said. She didn’t appear tensed anymore but seemed to be relaxed and at ease. Content even.
Bob nodded at her as he took a bite out of the dish. It was delicious.