Chapter Text
The city of Shiganshina was surrounded by Titans. Debris, blood, and the stench of death hung in the air. But all of this became insignificant to Mikasa when she noticed that Eren had escaped from Hannes’s arms.
"EREN!!!" Mikasa screamed after him, trying to run after the boy. However, Hannes didn't let her. He held the girl even tighter.
"Eren! Come back! Come back!" Armin shouted as he watched the boy's receding figure over Hannes’s shoulder while they continued moving forward. Armin didn't want to believe that, despite everything, Eren was running back, that Eren... that Eren was going to die... When the realization hit him, Armin began to bawl, clutching Hannes tightly.
Armin’s tears made Mikasa realize that Eren wouldn't survive this. Because of this, she too burst into tears. She didn't want to believe she had lost the most important person to her.
"Eren!" the girl shouted one last time, even though tears were streaming down her face.
"Stop it already!" Hannes shouted at them nervously, making the two children flinch and fall silent. Meanwhile, the man slowly reached the boats.
After a bit of shoving, they successfully got onto the boat. There, Hannes let the children go, as it was safe. He relieved the tension of the past hours with a little wine stored in the flask on his belt. As they set off, the man patted the space beside him for the children to sit down.
"Come, sit down," he said as he drank his wine in a few large gulps. "If I had known this, I would have brought more with me today..." he sighed.
"What will happen to us now? We have nowhere to go," Mikasa complained, trying to push Eren's death out of her mind. If she had closed her eyes, she would still have seen the green-eyed boy's figure before her. Meanwhile, Armin just sat down next to Hannes, hugged his knees, and started crying again.
"Who- who knows," the boy replied through his tears.
Mikasa curled up again. She tried not to cry. But she couldn't really manage it, and her tears began to flow again. She hated being so helpless. Armin then scooted closer to Mikasa, and his small hand found hers; Armin interlaced their fingers tightly, as if maybe losing Eren would hurt less that way. However, Mikasa couldn't squeeze the boy's hand back. Hers was still trembling.
"I miss Eren so much," Mikasa mumbled while crying quietly.
"I know," Armin nodded, and when he wiped his tears with his free hand, he used that one to hold Mikasa's hand too. "But... I believe in Eren! He will come back! Until then... let's wait for him together," he told her as he pressed the girl's hand to his chest.
"Alright," Mikasa sniffled. "Let's wait for him. Maybe he’ll return. Maybe someone helped him."
"Someone surely helped him. He surely survived," Armin nodded, and finally, they huddled completely together with Mikasa. Armin's closeness helped Mikasa calm down. She didn't feel entirely alone. She voiced this while hugging the blond boy tightly:
"But you don't run away, okay? We have to wait for Eren together."
"I won't," Armin hugged Mikasa as the girl rested her head on his chest, while Shiganshina and the breached Wall Maria grew further and further away from them.
"Thank you," Mikasa mumbled gratefully.
A few hours later, the boat arrived at the port. The passengers were herded off the boat. Mikasa stayed close to Armin the whole time. She didn't want to lose sight of her young friend for even a moment. Although Hannes was a bit tipsy, he helped the two children get to one of the refugee camps. Then he left them because duty called, and he had to assist the other members of the Garrison.
The situation in the refugee camp was quite bad. There wasn't enough food for the arrivals, and they didn't know where to house them. So Mikasa and Armin shared a small blanket while people sat all around them. Children, families, just like them. While they waited in silence, Mikasa fell asleep halfway through, and Armin took on the task of keeping watch. However, Grisha appeared beside them and whispered to Armin:
"You didn't happen to see Eren, did you? I have a task for him."
"Eren..." the boy looked up with a sad smile. "Eren isn't here... He... " but Armin couldn't finish because tears welled up in his eyes again.
"Did he die?" Grisha asked disappointedly, as he would have had plans for the boy.
"When Hannes was carrying us, he stumbled... and Eren escaped. He went back," Armin recounted quietly, curling up even smaller.
"I see," Grisha nodded. He said nothing more and stormed off without a goodbye. He planned to go and find Shadis, hoping he could provide more information. Shadis was currently talking to a Scout who was looking for his family among the refugees.
"Keith, do you have a minute?" Grisha asked after finding the man.
"Ah, Grisha," the man looked at him, turning around. "I saw the children. Terrible what happened. My condolences," he nodded, but no real pain appeared in his eyes. As a commander, he had lost too many people to feel anything anymore.
Grisha sighed. "So then Eren died? His blond friend said so too."
"It's unknown, Eren might have survived," Shadis looked at him. "However, Hannes confirmed that Carla was eaten by a Titan," he stated, then patted Grisha's shoulder with a sigh.
"I don't mean to interrupt, but did you say Eren?" the Scout turned back to them, having happily noted that his family was here safe and sound. He waved to them that he would be there shortly.
"Yes. Do you know something about him?" Grisha asked immediately.
"Squad Leader Hange Zoë found a child among the ruins of Shiganshina as we returned from the expedition. I think she called him Eren. Um... A boy about this tall," he put his hand to his waist, "brown hair, green eyes."
"Yes, that must be him! Thank you for the help!" Grisha's eyes lit up. It seemed the situation wasn't hopeless, but he didn't like it when Hange's name was mentioned.
"Speaking of which," the Scout turned to Shadis. "You're going to lose the bet. The first thing Levi did was join Hange and the kid."
"So Humanity's Strongest Soldier is helping Eren too?" Grisha asked in amazement. "But why?"
"We think it's love. That's why our dear friend Shadis is going to lose. He bet on the Titans," the Scout patted Shadis's shoulder.
"I knew even then it was a bad idea," the man muttered to himself.
"I hope they'll give Eren back," Grisha replied thoughtfully. "I wouldn't be happy if they played house with my son."
"Hm... I don't think Ackerman would be good at that. Remember the face he made at your wedding to Carla?" Shadis looked at Grisha somewhat nostalgically.
"Yes. He always looked bored. Or sour. He didn't seem like a family man," Grisha answered.
"Well, go and get your son back then," Shadis nodded with a slight smile, upon which Grisha disappeared as if he hadn't even been there.
"That man was weird," stated the Scout next to Shadis.
"I know," the older man nodded.
It took him a whole day, but in the evening Grisha arrived in front of the Scout base, where he immediately requested entry. He told the guard he wanted to speak to Hange Zoë, as she had his son. However, as he got there, he stopped in the doorway. Through the small crack, he observed Eren's peacefully sleeping form as he rested in Levi's arms.
Seeing this, Grisha was completely shocked. Eren had never cuddled up to him. He hugged Carla on rare occasions, but he was always more distant with him. And now he was hugging that stranger as if he were his biological father, and not Grisha. This angered him. So his resolve only grew stronger to execute his plan and pass his Titan to Eren.
Then the woman appeared too, stretching sleepily and plopping down next to the man.
"Aw! I see you've bonded already!" she cheerfully hugged Levi's shoulders. The whole thing seemed so natural, even though there was no bond between the three of them. Is this what a family would be like?
"The kid isn't that annoying," Levi shrugged. Then he added grimly: "His biological father, however, couldn't have been a very good parent. Eren said he doesn't remember his father ever hugging him. I wouldn't have thought they neglected the boy so much."
"I wouldn't have thought so either," Hange sat on her knees on the bed next to the pair. "But maybe what's important is that he finally calmed down. I don't know what I'd do if he had another panic attack now. That would be the fourth one tonight," she said somewhat sadly.
"But he feels safe with us. So if we are persistent and help him, his panic attacks will end one day," Levi replied encouragingly, placing his free hand on the woman's back.
"Really, thank you for all the help. I don't know what I'd do alone with Eren," the woman answered him, leaning into Levi's touch.
Watching all this, envy simmered in Grisha's soul, so he just thought to himself: "Just raise him, I won't have to deal with him until then. I can prepare, and then everything will fall into place," and after this, he turned on his heel and left.
In the meantime, soldiers took Mikasa and Armin out to work in the fields. They received no payment for the work. Their only reward was dry bread and water at the end of the day. Beds were still not provided, so most slept on the ground. In the better cases, they had some piece of clothing or a blanket underneath them.
At the end of one day, however, the food had completely run out, so they were given rotting meat. Of course, nothing was said about it being rotten, so the many starving people simply ate it without a word.
"Don't touch it, Mikasa!" Armin spoke to the girl as she prepared to eat the meat. Even though they had cooked it, Armin could smell how terrible it was.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" asked Mikasa, who trusted Armin's instincts.
"It's rotten, I can smell it," he told her, taking the meat from the girl's hand and throwing it into the fire. They might starve this way, but it was better than getting food poisoning. There were no doctors in these labor camps, and they didn't really give medicine unless one had money for it.
"Then we'll starve today too," Mikasa acknowledged with regret, while her stomach growled loudly. "I feel weak already. I have no idea how I'll be able to work tomorrow like this."
"Tonight..." Armin began, knowing he hated doing this, but there was no other option, "let's go into the city and steal some food for ourselves. Otherwise, we won't be able to work."
Mikasa wanted to protest in her heart. But her stomach demanded something completely different. So she nodded, then spoke again: "Alright. But we have to be careful."
"We will be," Armin nodded as he tried to swallow but couldn't because his throat was so dry. He hadn't drunk anything today either.
"I promise, we will survive this horrible place," Mikasa said in the most determined voice possible despite her rumbling stomach.
Then she hugged the boy. Partly to provide him support, and partly because she needed the comfort too. And she couldn't turn to anyone but Armin. She had lost everyone else.
Armin hugged her back tightly as he started to cry. After all, their days consisted of nothing but work and crying. From dawn to dusk, they were worked like animals, without pause or remorse. Those who didn't like it were sent on the territory recovery missions. Like his grandfather, whom he only found out had survived Shiganshina when he was sent away. Of course, unsurprisingly, he didn't return. Seeing Armin's tears, Mikasa burst into tears too. She was hungry, tired, and felt sad. She simply didn't understand what the two of them had done to deserve fate treating them so harshly.
"Just two years... two years and we can apply to the military," Armin mumbled weakly, clutching the fabric of Mikasa's clothes tighter. When it was very cold at night, Mikasa often shared her scarf with Armin.
"Yes. We'll have a better life there. We won't starve," the girl mumbled, burying her head in Armin's shoulder.
She used to hug Eren this tightly. But the green-eyed boy wasn't with them, so he couldn't help them. Now Armin's presence meant home to her.
"Everything will be alright. We'll survive," she said, but it seemed she wasn't fully convinced herself. However, since the sun had dipped below the horizon quite a while ago, Armin knew it was time. "Come, Mikasa. We have to go."
The girl nodded, then wiped her tears. Determination replaced the sorrow in her gaze. Then she got up from the ground and spoke: "Let's go." Meanwhile, she thought to herself that she might not have been able to save Eren, but she certainly wouldn't let the same happen to Armin.
Armin nodded, then taking Mikasa's hand, he interlaced their fingers as they set off. They always held each other's hands tightly so as not to lose the other. Soon they arrived at the evening market, which was held only because the field workers, like them, finished work at this time, meaning those who had money could only shop then. Mikasa looked around somewhat fearfully. She was afraid that if they were caught, they would be handed over to the Military Police.
"There! There's bread," Armin pointed toward a stall where bread and other baked goods were displayed. His stomach growled loudly at the sight.
Mikasa's mouth watered when she saw the bread. Then she turned her gaze from the baked goods to the seller. Luckily, the seller was an old lady. So she thought it might be easier to steal from her. They just had to be careful that no Military Police members were nearby. But as they started, Armin slipped a small knife into Mikasa's hand just to be safe. It was Eren's; he had given it to him when they were playing that day, but Armin never got around to returning it. Now he gave it to Mikasa; he knew the girl could use it better than he could. The girl hoped she wouldn't have to use it. She didn't want to shed blood.
"I'll distract the seller. You steal the bread," Mikasa said. "Okay?"
"Okay," he squeezed Mikasa's hand a little tighter, then reluctantly let go and let the girl create her diversion. Mikasa pretended she wanted to steal. She thought the old woman couldn't pay attention to two places at once, and while she was dealing with her, Armin would steal the food. The woman, of course, didn't hesitate when she saw Mikasa. Despite her elderly appearance, she easily caught the girl's wrist as she began to shout at her.
"What do you think of yourself, you brat! Do you think people don't try this every day?" she squeezed Mikasa's wrist very hard.
"I'm hungry," Mikasa told her. "Why won't you help me?"
"If I helped every little girl like you, I'd starve to death too," she hissed through her teeth, shoving Mikasa back. "Get out of here while I'm in a good mood!"
Mikasa saw that Armin had successfully stolen the bread in the meantime, so she obeyed the woman's request and disappeared from the scene as quickly as possible. When they met up again, Armin immediately ran to her and checked Mikasa's wrist, which had turned purple from the woman's grip.
"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt that much," she tried to reassure the boy, then hugged him. "We did it! We won't starve!"
"Yes, we did it!" Armin grinned broadly as they plopped down next to each other in an alley to eat. After splitting the bread, they both started eating. When they had eaten everything, Mikasa spoke happily:
"Finally, I'm not hungry."
"Me neither," Armin nodded, then took Mikasa's hand in his and began to gently massage the girl's wrist. "I'm so sorry I'm this weak and you have to endure this..."
"You aren't weak," Mikasa protested. "You aren't weak because you are persistent and you never give up."
"Thank you," Armin said, then planted a gentle kiss on the girl's purple wrist. He thought Eren would do the same in his place.
Because of this, a faint blush crept onto Mikasa's face. Armin hadn't been this gentle with her before and had kept his distance more. It was Eren who used to treat her this kindly. And this reminded her of something: "You don't have to be Eren, okay? Don't try to take his place. Firstly because it wouldn't work, and secondly because then you'd lose yourself. And I wouldn't want that. Stay Armin, okay?" At this, Armin nodded as he pulled closer and stroked Mikasa's black locks kindly.
"Relax, I won't lose myself. But since I can't help any other way, I want to help you like this," he said, and to reinforce it, he pressed another kiss to her wrist.
"Thank you," Mikasa replied gratefully, while her face took on an even redder shade. "I didn't think you could be so caring." Then she added with a sigh: "I think I didn't even really know you until now. All I saw was that you were smart."
"Well... now we'll have time to get to know each other while we wait for Eren," Armin replied kindly, not making a big deal out of the fact that they hadn't really known each other until now. "Okay, Mikasa?"
"Okay," the girl nodded enthusiastically. "If you want, we can go back to the camp. I'm quite tired."
"Let's go back, it's better if we sleep," Armin nodded in agreement, then quickly hugged Mikasa tightly again. The girl was important to him; she was the only one left from Shiganshina and from his friendship with Eren.
Mikasa immediately hugged Armin back. The boy's closeness felt good. She felt safe beside him even though their situation had taken a harder turn. Since Eren's disappearance, Armin had become the person she felt closest to. That evening, Hannes appeared at the camp, and he also brought bread and dried meat for the two children so that they wouldn't starve until supplies were restored.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner," he looked down at the two children apologetically.
"It's okay," Mikasa waved it off. Then she immediately got to the point: "Do you know anything about Eren? Hasn't he turned up yet? Isn't it possible he's alive?"
"I don't know anything about him, I'm sorry," Hannes shook his head, while his stomach clenched even tighter. Everyone in the military already knew that Eren had come under the guardianship of Hange Zoë and Levi Ackerman, and against all odds, the two people least imaginable as parents were raising the kid with great love. But if he told these two now and they went looking for Eren... They might be more broken than if they had to live with the fact that the boy died. Mikasa hung her head sadly. She felt disappointed and sorrowful. She thought Hannes might know something about Eren. "I really am sorry," he sighed, then stood up. "I have to go now, work tomorrow. Be good, kids," the man told them as he patted both of their heads.
"Okay," Mikasa nodded.
Then Hannes said goodbye to them and left them alone. The next two years passed at a similar pace. Hannes visited sometimes, sometimes they stole, and sometimes they got caught and beaten. But now, standing in the training camp, everything seemed to change.
"Finally, here's the chance to break out from the fields," Mikasa said enthusiastically to Armin while they waited for Shadis to appear.
"Yes! I can't believe we're here," Armin said just as excitedly as nervously, holding Mikasa's hand as always when he felt this way.
"Everything will be fine, okay?" Mikasa promised, then gently squeezed Armin's hand. "You will succeed in getting into the military too."
"I know, I'm just very nervous..." Armin sighed. "Especially because if Eren is alive... then he must be here somewhere."
Hearing this, Mikasa's heart gave a huge thump. Until now, she hadn't even considered that Eren might show up here too.
"If he were here, he'd want to join the Scouts," Mikasa whispered. "That's been his goal since he was little."
"Yes, he's sure to be here," Armin smiled, then hugged Mikasa, but they had to separate quickly because Shadis appeared. After this, true to form, Shadis shouted a few orders, and training began.
Following that, during lunch, the members of their squad started getting to know each other. Hearing that Armin and Mikasa came from Shiganshina, many gathered around them to ask what it was like to see the Titans breach the wall. Mikasa didn't like talking about this. Mostly because it reminded her of losing Eren. So Armin answered the questions instead.
"I don't want to steal the spotlight from the stars, but my best friend is Eren Ackerman," a sandy-haired boy suddenly spoke up, approaching the crowd with a tray in his hands. Everything froze for a moment, and everyone looked at the boy, who was soon joined by his freckled companion with whom he had been paired for exercises in the morning.
"Ackerman?" Mikasa asked in surprise. "I am an Ackerman too." She thought this Eren was not the same as Eren Jäger.
"Really?" the boy and his new friend sat down next to her. "Eren never mentioned that his father had any living relatives. Do you even know each other?"
"I don't think so," Mikasa shook her head.
"So you don't even know who Eren Ackerman is?" the freckled one spoke up questioningly. "By the way, I'm Marco Bodt, and he is Jean Kirstein," Marco introduced them.
"No," Mikasa replied. "Who is he?"
"Even we've heard of him!" a bald boy sat down next to them with the girl who had tried to share the potato with Shadis. "He's Levi Ackerman's son, isn't he? The one who has been under his wing since he was ten," the bald boy asked, to which Jean nodded.
"Levi Ackerman has a son?" Mikasa asked in amazement. "I didn't even know that."
"Yes, they say Eren is a prodigy," Sasha recounted, at which Jean just grinned.
"Because he is! Because although they mostly mention Levi, his mother is the scientist Hange Zoë," he related excitedly.
This piqued both Mikasa's and Armin's interest. Finally, the girl voiced it: "Can we meet him?"
"Sure, although it might take a little time since he's already a Scout and doesn't need things like training," Jean smiled as he thought of Eren and how much he already missed his best friend.
"I see," Mikasa nodded. "Well then, we'll meet him when he returns from the expedition."
"Well yes, you'll surely meet someday..."
After lunch ended, following a short rest, another training session ensued. Once training was over, dinner time arrived.
Sitting in the room that evening, Armin realized this was the first time he had to sleep without Mikasa nearby, without cuddling and holding each other's hands. The room he was assigned to was full of strange boys. While the cadets talked to each other, Armin just curled up at the end of his bed. Without Mikasa, he felt lonely.
Armin tried to sleep but always woke up sweating within a few minutes, terror in his eyes. This couldn't go on, so when everyone was asleep, Armin sneaked out of the room and headed to the girls' quarters to find Mikasa. It was easy; in the evening light, he was constantly mistaken for a girl, which allowed him to get into the sleeping quarters. There, after a little searching, he found the room Mikasa was assigned to. He didn't think too much and slipped in.
"Mikasa?" he stepped up to the girl and touched her shoulder. "Mikasa?" he spoke again as his eyes instantly filled with tears.
The girl woke up from her dream immediately upon hearing her name. After opening her eyes and noticing the boy, she spoke worriedly: "Is something wrong, Armin? Why did you come here?"
"I can't sleep without you," he continued to whimper as he immediately sat down next to the girl. Mikasa's heart clenched at the sight of the crying Armin. So she immediately pulled him into a tight hug.
"But you have to learn to sleep without me sometime," Mikasa mumbled. "We'll be in separate rooms in the military too."
"I don't want to be separate... I want to sleep with you..." he mumbled as he could finally rest in the girl's arms.
"You know we can't," Mikasa whispered so her roommates wouldn't hear them. "The rules forbid it."
Despite this, she didn't send Armin away. No matter how much she wanted to show herself as strong, she felt better with Armin nearby. So she stroked the boy's blond locks.
"I don't care," he shook his head, as they finally lay down next to each other. "If I have to, I'll pretend to be a girl every night..."
At this, Mikasa laughed a little, even despite her tiredness. "I wouldn't have thought you were willing to go to such extremes just to be here," the girl smiled sleepily, pulling closer to Armin.
"I want to sleep with you," Armin repeated, as Mikasa pulled the blanket over them to hide Armin better, lest there be trouble.
"I don't mind. Stay," Mikasa sighed, hoping the instructors wouldn't notice in the morning. But she would have been simply unable to send the boy away. Without her, Armin seemed lost and sad.
"Thank you," he smiled, and within a few minutes, he was fast asleep, in complete peace. Armin's even breathing calmed the girl. So soon she fell into a deep sleep too. But even in her sleep, she held the boy close.
So they slept quietly, but not for that many more times. Because as time passed, puberty finally caught up with Armin, and he looked increasingly boyish, which made it difficult to pass himself off as a girl. Moreover, although the girls in Mikasa's room adored Armin, they felt slightly uncomfortable when he entered the room. However, luckily, as time passed, Armin was finally able to fall asleep alone too, so fortunately, this didn't become a bigger problem. Shortly, new troubles appeared. Armin proved to be nowhere near as strong as boys his age. The cadets started mocking him for this. However, as always, Armin could count on Mikasa's presence. Which meant a lot to him in not breaking down completely.
One day, Mikasa realized she would have to teach the boy to fight if she wanted him to be able to protect himself. The instructors clearly weren't helping him much in catching up. So she addressed him: "Listen, what if I helped you a little with hand-to-hand combat?"
"I would appreciate that!" the boy told her enthusiastically, then fell into thought. "As I saw, you have problems with reading. Is it okay if I teach you to read?" the blond asked her.
"Of course," Mikasa smiled. "I'd be glad if you helped."
"Then it's a deal!" Armin smiled and started practicing with Mikasa. And when they were completely exhausted from fighting, the boy taught the girl to read over a book. Mikasa tried to pay attention to Armin's words and the book, but the many blurring letters tired her out too much. Because of this, she inwardly cursed Grisha a little for not teaching her and Eren to read when they were small. However, Armin was attentive, and not to mention patient, constantly helping the girl until she could finally read most of the words.
"I'm glad we're friends, Mikasa," Armin told her as he interlaced their fingers. "Best friends."