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If Nagi had it his way, the entire world would be blanketed in an eternal sunset.
Because then, no matter where he laid his head, may be it be Hakuho’s soccer field, or his classroom that watched over it. As the orange glow engulfed him, a hand that matched its warmth would follow. Ruffling his hair and reaching out.
“Wake up, my treasure! It’s time to go home!”
In an eternal sunset, Nagi would always open his eyes to Reo’s smile.
In an eternal sunset, Nagi would always hold on to the back of Reo’s bike.
In an eternal sunset, Nagi would never run out of chances to find out how Reo’s hand felt in his own.
“Hey, Reo...”
He can only read Reo’s response from his lips. The sounds of the wind, birds and his voice are long gone.
“I know you said you’d show me a world more exciting than any nap. But right now, it’s the only thing I look forward to.”
The sunset can’t be eternal. The night will always come and overstay it’s welcome. Leaving the job of lighting up the world to skyscrapers and Blue Lock’s latest advertisement campaign.
“Because it’s the only place I get to see you.”
Nagi opens his eyes to an almost fully darkened classroom.
First, he looks to his left out the window. Hakuko’s soccer club that Reo founded has already gone home.
Next, he looks to his right. The seat beside him is vacant. Reo hasn’t occupied it since he took one of Nagi’s electives a single time. Yet he still always looks.
Even though he’s run out of chances.
His chair screeches against the floor boards. His bag feels heavy against his back. But there’s no one who’ll notice his now more exaggerated slouch.
No one who’ll stoke his hair and reach out their hand.
The handle bars of Reo’s bike make his skin feel raw.
Reo’s hands always looked soft though. He must be holding on too tightly.
When has Nagi Seishiro ever held onto something tightly?
He pedals the bike faster.
How to comfort oneself is a question Nagi could not answer. He’s never had to before, after all. Or rather, perhaps he’s spent his whole life comforting himself. A skill practiced and honed by his subconscious, while his conscious remained a novice.
His favourite song. His favourite movie. The worn, yet toasty blanket he’d spent every nap kicking off. The tub of lemon gelato that sat in his freezer, the fancy kind, the brand he could never afford himself.
Everything reminded him of what he lost.
Dammit.
Dammit, dammit.
If every unshed tear remained stored in your body, then Nagi Seishiro had 18 years worth of tears. And they would stain his couch and phone screen forever more.
It was the umpteenth time he’d watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but it was the first time it made him cry. He’d remember his younger self, fascinated eyes glued to the screen, wondering if he would ever feel something this strongly someday.
He had his answer. But at what cost.
It was as if his younger self were right there, looking up at him with big curious eyes. An innocence he never seemed to lose.
Will I love something so much that I’ll never want to forget it?
Yes. Yes you will. And it’s miserable.
Just then, a knock hit the front door. The blanket fell from the couch and his phone along with it, while his heavy eyelids slowly parted.
He squinted at the faint light coming from the crack under the door, broken up by a person’s shadow. He grumbled. Trying to sit up and rub away the excessive amount of sleep in his eyes.
But a muffled, yet familiar voice, made him consider getting up faster. He nearly tripped over his blanket as he reached for the door knob.
“Greetings, Seishiro-sama.” The old woman, who to Nagi, had an unmistakable nose, smiled and bowed, “apologies. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay…” Nagi mumbled in response, still rubbing his eyes, “um, but why are you here? You already gave Choki back.” His mouth closes slowly, as he notices the suitcases behind her. His eyes are suddenly wide open.
“I’m just about to set off to watch Young Master Reo’s game. But I had a feeling there was someone else who’d like to see it also.”
“…Me?”
The corners of her lips tug upwards. “Who else?”
Nagi falls silent at that.
“So? Do you wish to go see Young Master Reo?”
Nagi grips the sleeve of his mismatched sweats, eyes glued to the doorframe. “Do I… Even deserve to see him?”
Ba-Ya lightly shakes her head. “That’s not what I asked, Seishiro-sama.” She brings a hand that was resting behind her back to her chest, “what would Young Master Reo think? If his partner were a no show at one of the most important events of his life?”
“But…” Nagi’s eyebrows furrow. The grip on his sleeve tightens as his voice trembles, much like his bottom lip, “but I’m not his partner anymore, am I? I don’t belong in that world anymore. He showed it to me and I failed. He hasn’t smiled or called me his treasure in so long-“
She breathes through her nose as she slows her words, her smile unwavering, “I didn’t ask what you think you deserve, or where you think you should belong. I asked what you wanted.”
His eyes widen, making contact with the glint in hers.
“Then if I may ask again. Seishiro-sama, do you wish to see Young Master Reo?”
Nagi paused, conviction lifting his answer to the tip of his tongue and past his lips.
“Yes, I do.”
Will I love something so much that I’ll never want to forget it?
Yes. Yes you will. And it’s miserable. But if you’re willing to work hard and become the best you can… if you can get it back and protect it. Treasure it. Then it’s worth it.
Nagi slouched forward, pointing a limp hand towards the luggage behind her, “so, um… Do I have to pack?”
She let out a light chuckle. “Yes. Whatever you think you need for an overseas stay will do.”