Work Text:
stan stressfully glanced at his phone. with shaky hands, he opened the message app that he's checked about 20 times during the past 5 minutes.
he was worried sick. ever since yesterday evening he couldn't get in contact with kyle. it's not like he expected him to be at each of his calls, yet the unsettling feeling drifting around his stomach only seemed to intensify.
usually, even if kyle did feel bad, he'd let him know. stan would receive a text like 'sorry man, not really feeling like talking. i'll catch up with you later. '.
yet, it's been almost an entire day, and he hasn't gotten a single word from him. stan checked all his social medias, hoping to find that the boy was active at least a few hours previous, but to no avail.
he should've gone over to his place, hopefully to check up on him. yet it was as if the universe had wanted to stripe him out of the remnants of comfort he had - his mother had forced him to visit some distant relatives alongside her.
stan couldn't say he usually didn't mind visiting them. because he did. he was never a fan of these visits, with the difference being that today it actually felt like hell.
his heart felt heavy, and he sensed as if he had a void in his stomach. all the time he just impatiently strolled around the house, pulling out his phone every minute, hoping for an answer.
the second they left for the call he tried calling, as he did dozens of times before. with each missed call, delivered but unread message, his anxiety grew, even though it always felt as if it couldn't get any worse.
he couldn't even call sheila or gerald to ask, since they've left for some sort of holiday. he knew that he could theoretically ask them if they've been in touch with him, but he also knew that they seemed at times careless, when going away.
ike wasn't really an option either, 'cause as far as they got along well, stan didn't really have any way to contact him. he never asked for his phone number, since he never needed it.
stan was mad at himself for becoming so dependent on kyle. he didn't like it. as far as he loved him, he felt rather pathetic to have his emotions center around him.
the second he came home, he felt so tired and worn out from the intensive emotions following him around all day, that he didn't attempt to even get out to come to kyle's.
he resorted to what he knows best - alcohol. just a sip already helped him calm down, at least slightly. it was most likely a placebo, but whatever helped him feel better.
he knew this state wouldn't last long. one beer can, and his anxiety would quickly turn into melancholy, one that would make him bawl his eyes out.
so now, about three beers down (which isn't much for him, really), he laid on the bed, cheeks not even having the time to dry before being met with another tear sliding down, wetting them up all over again, an endless cycle.
his eyes stung at this point, the obnoxiously white screen burning his retinas. god, he was so stupid.
it all started to dawn on him. it must've been serious. setting his worries about kyle's sudden death aside, he knew that he either must've been really sick, really sad, or physically restrained from the possibility of using his phone.
either option was terrifying for him. unfortunately, he was a fucking pussy. the click lingering milliseconds after popping a new can open rang in his ears, driving him dizzier.
what pissed him off was that he couldn't even try to leave and check up on the ginger, because his parents decided it would be a wonderful idea to spend the evening in the living room.
it was far past evening. the clock was about to hit 12pm, and stan for sure knew that kyle wasn't answering not because he was sleeping, but because of something else.
nothing else would greet his mind. the only thing that stuck in there were the obnoxious thoughts about the possibilities on what could've happened.
he was aggravated. all this time he spent lamenting, pitying over himself and his inefficiency, he could've already been plotting how to leave.
his gaze turned to his window. it hadn't been cleaned for a good while, over a few months to be exact, because sharon gave up on cleaning his room, so it was stained with god knows what.
he turned to reach for a tissue. he blew his nose one last time, then got up - not before dreading the moment - heading to pick up one of his jackets scattered across the floor.
an item next to it caught his eye - kyle's t-shirt, that he lent him some time ago, after he bled onto his normal clothes during a sleepover they had. he's never worn it since - not because it was too big (which it definitely was), but because no matter how much time has passed, the characteristic smell of the boy lingered on the cloth with no end.
he picked it up, and gave it a singular whiff. it seemed to fill him with calm, but also lust, which craved itself into his heart.
stan's eyes drifted to the window once again, which he then opened. the cold breeze letting itself out alongside this action seemed to embrace him, as he felt himself getting slightly colder.
he's snuck out before. mostly to meet up with kyle. the difference is, his parents were dead asleep during those times. but now, he didn't even have the time to consider how he'd get back into the house.
he stumbled clumsily out of the window, being caught in a semi-drunken state. the second his shoes met the snow with a crunch, he felt a rush of adrenaline, desiring to get to kyle's as soon as possible.
he couldn't let himself roam free carelessly though. before that, stan had to quietly attempt to leave the backyard and let himself in front of the house, which proved to be a bit of a challenge, given that the blinds in the living room weren't shut just yet.
finally, after what felt like an eternity, he got out of the possible viewpoint, permitting himself to quicken up his pace, negligent to the noise he was making.
he arrived at kyle's doorstep. suddenly, his body felt weak again, his limbs shaking. he knocked on the door, hoping for an answer.
of course, it was met with the same radio silence as his messages. god, now if he thinks about it, what if kyle is super-fucking-mad at him, and just doesn't want to be friends anymore?
stan didn't have the time to consider that, though. he patted around the pockets of his jeans, managing to feel out a familiar shape. it was the spare key he was given years ago, which he had kept on dearly to this day.
he pushed the key into the lock, turning it around, and entering the house. during that time, his footsteps seemed as the loudest thing in the world.
stan shut the door behind him, then made his way up the stairs. they squeaked under his steps, each sound let out being like a knife in his ears.
stan finally got to kyle's room. he hesitated for a second, then knocked on the door rhythmically. time seemed to have stopped during that moment. he was tense, not knowing if he'd rather hear silence, or something else as an answer.
yet, finally, a sound reached his ear. stan heard the familiar voice make a short humming sound, which he assumed was his sign to enter.
he pulled on the doorknob, opening the door. if he hadn't had been hurting before, the state in which he found the boy's room caused him a heartache at least 200 times more powerful.
there were clothes scattered around the floor in a similar fashion to his, yet it wasn't just carelessness like in stan's case. he knew it was worse, especially since kyle is a neat freak.
the room was almost entirely dark, illuminated only by the street lamp far away outside. the scent of burnt candles lingered in the room, yet there were none in sight.
as stan entered further, the smell had mixed with one of cigarettes - a lot of them, actually. only then did his eyes drift to the silhouette laying almost lifelessly on the bed.
- kyle?? - stan rushed up to him almost instantly.
- mmh.. - the ginger looked up at him, his pupils slightly illuminated by the light outside.
- what happened?? is everything alright? - he rushed to his side briskly, putting his hand to feel the boy's forehead out of habit.
- i don't feel well. you can go away now. - kyle bubbled out, instantly looking away.
- i'm not fucking leaving you alone in this state, dude!! - he worried, taking a seat on the floor, so he'd be face to face with kyle.
- no stan, fuck off. you smell like beer. you probably got piss drunk again. i don't want to deal with your bullshit right now. - kyle snapped, aggravated.
- it's not my shit i'm worried about! dude, i haven't been able to contact you for almost a day! i was worried sick! i barely fucking slept!! - he waved his hands around, gesturing - dude, i can fucking tell something is up. everybody would, if they were to see you right now.
- i know. you're not fucking helping. - these words, albeit spoken in a fit of rage, seemed to hurt stan on a deeper level.
- kyle.. - he ignored what he said. stan got up, shoving his way in the empty space between kyle and the bed. - talk to me, dude. i can't stand to see you like this. it hurts me too, you know?
- always making this stuff about yourself. go tell a pity story to wendy, kenny, or whorver, for the matter. i don't feel like fucking talking, i told you that.
- god, kyle, no, i'm not fucking leaving. i know what you're going through. i've had episodes like this too. and you were persistent on helping me. why the fuck won't you let me return the favor?
- so it's a favor to you? god damn it stan, you're pissing me even more with each passing second. - the ginger seemed to latch onto his words and twist them around, so it would fit his sick sense.
stan had enough. he reached for kyle's face, which had been turned away from him till now, catching him by surprise.
- it's not a fucking favor to me. i love you, kyle. i would never forgive myself if i missed something and you would be gone one day. i want to help you. a way to make me feel happy is to see you happy. - he stuttered around his words, yet it didn't lose any value in what he meant.
kyle didn't reply. only then did stan notice his red, puffy eyes, which filled with tears in a matter of seconds, presumably not the first time today.
stan brought him closer, as the boy started to sob into his chest. to allow himself to hug him properly he snuck his hand under his hoodie.
he could sense each of kyle's ribs, hell, count each one of them, as if they were an example straight out of his biology textbook. he knew kyle had issues with eating, but he had assumed it was arfid, or something similar to it.
but now, that he thought about it, it really didn't seem like it. it's not like kyle just had a limited pallet, more like there wasn't any at all.
he recalled how he'd say he's not hungry during lunch, then throw the sandwiches his mother had prepared him away whenever he was coming back home.
he typed kyle to be skinny. he definitely was by nature, being also pretty tall, but whatever he had shaped into now was nothing of just a fast metabolism.
he recalled how the past few years kyle seemed to prefer sweaters or baggy clothing over anything else. stan also remembered how kyle expressed his concerns over weight to him a few months ago, which he worried about, yet decided to let him hope in a way that he likes.
he seemed to regret it now. it all seemed much more real, having it brush right against his fingertips. they usually cuddled a lot, and he wondered, how has he not felt it then?
stan took his other hand and per usual dug his fingers into kyle's now unusally greasy red locs, the sensation giving both of them comfort.
kyle still hadn't said anything. the only thing interrupting the silence were his sobs. his weak, slender arms pushed against stan's back, as he embraced him using a lot of pressure.
- kyle.. - stan attempted to initiate a conversation again.
kyle's cries only seemed to intensify as he sniffled to push his runny nose back. - i'm sorry stan.. - he winced, feeling pathetic for being so seemingly weak for a man
- what for? - he looked down at him, pulling him even closer.
- fuck, dude, i don't know. i feel like shit, i swear to god. - he muffled against his chest.
- dude, are you able to tell why? or is it something rather illogical? - stan hoped he wouldn't take his word choice the wrong way, not being able to express himself well.
the conversation cut off again. the ginger's wails didn't stop, prompting stan's eyes to slightly water up as well. he couldn't feel good knowing kyle wasn't feeling good.
the raven slowly moved his hand in circles on the boy's back in a comforting manner, staring straight ahead.
the minutes passed. stan honestly didn't need the answer, as long as he was able to monitor whether everything is okay with kyle.
- i love you stan - kyle sobbed out, shifting a little.
- i love you too, kyle. can i help you? - he asked, still worried.
- no, stan. nothing fucking helps. i stole your zoloft a few weeks ago, does that shit even work? i can't find a way to make myself feel better. i can't stand myself dude.
- it doesn't, that's why i got something else perscribed and stopped using it. - he shrugged, bodies still partially interlocked.
- are you mad? - kyle questioned, worrysome.
- no. i just wish you didn't shut yourself off. i was worried. - he sniffled a little too.
- my fucking arms sting. - he complained.
- can i look? - the raven asked. he already knew what had gone down, so the only thing he could really resort to was checking how bad was it.
kyle groaned, yet shifted and sat up, pulling his sleeves up. stan winced a little seeing the scars. it wasn't like it was kyle's first time cutting, since he didn't try to hide it much, yet this time it was definitely worse than usual.
- dude, did you clean them up at least? - he took one of the boy's arms and examined them closer, the somewhat fresh blood glistening in the moonlight.
- no, i didn't fucking care dude. - the ginger shrugged.
- mm, come on. imma take care of them. - he got up then hopped off the bed, leading his way to the boy's bathroom.
only under full light switched on could he notice how severe they were. it hurt seeing him like this, and he especially felt bad knowing probably put kyle through similar stuff too.
- you got any bandages? i don't think we can do anything else right now. - he asked, reaching for the bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
- yeah. they're in the cabinet under the sink. - kyle nodded, sitting at the edge of the bath.
stan took out all the needed items, then glanced back at the boy. he poured some of the liquid onto a cotton pad, then swiped it through the boy's cuts a few times, causing kyle to whimper.
he made sure to avoid the larger opened ones, not wanting to cause him too much pain. he took out a roll of the bandage, and carefully wrapped it around the ginger's arms.
- that should do it for now. you sure your mom won't freak out if she notices? - he asked, remembering how short tempered she can be.
- nah, she's not that attentive to what i do anymore. - kyle shrugged, then started walking back to his room.
stan followed by, shutting the door behind them, and turning the lamp on before hopping back into bed.
- you feel a bit better now? - he asked carefully, cupping the other boy's cheek in his hand.
- mm, a little. - kyle answered quietly, sinking into his chest again. - can you stay over?
- dude, i wouldn't wanna leave you alone in this state anyway.
- do your parents know?
- nah, but i don't really care dude. they're just gonna lecture me then leave me alone like always. - the raven embraced him again. - why don't you like yourself? - he asked, almost instantly regretting it seeing the ginger's eyes glisten with tears again.
- i just don't, dude. my hair is pretty stupid, i got these stupid freckles just appear a few months ago and they won't come off, i look freakish, i think. overall i just can't really appreciate myself as a person. i don't think anybody can. - kyle mustered through his words, interrupting every few syllables, sniffling.
- what are you talking about? you look great, dude. where did you get the idea that you're undesirable? i think you're very handsome, sometimes i wish i could look like you, you know? - he was amused by what the other one had said.
- i don't think that's true. - kyle sighed.
- i wish you could see yourself the way i see you. i think your freckles are especially cute, dude. i could kiss each one of them. - he breathed into his hair, feeling the faint scent of kyle's shampoo.
- i don't like then. i look like one of those gingers that held us in captivity, dude. i'm fucking bully material, especially with those stupid glasses.
- once again dude, i think they're cute. - he smiled, then shifted, leaning in. he hovered over the boy's face, pressing his lips down in each place where he could spot a freckle.
- mhh, dude stop, it tickles!! what's wrong with your lips? they're chapped as fuck. - kyle lighted up a little, giggling under the sensation, trying to push the raven off of him.
- nah man, imma show you that i mean it. - he deviously grinned, continuing on with his mission.
- fucking kill yourself. - kyle giddily managed to push him off.
- wash your hair. it's greasy as fuck, boy. - stan said, shuffling his hands through the red locs again.
- i wasn't feeling like it. - kyle's humor seemed to detriment again.
- sorry. how about you go shower and i'll set the bed so we can sleep? - he proposed, kissing him on the lips for a split second.
- fine.. - he attempted to get up, only to be pulled down by a strong force grasping his wrist, stopping only after he winced having felt the pain.
- shit, sorry again. but don't go yet dude, it's not like it's urgent.. - stan shrugged, pulling him back down.
- alright, man. let me just take off my hoodie, i'm warm as fuck.
oh. as stan's gaze fixated on the boy's arms, he noticed how he's bled through, most likely at his fault. - damn dude, does it hurt much? i'm sorry. - he apologised again, taking kyle's arm to examine it.
- don't worry, i don't mind. i knew what i was getting myself into. - he gave him a light smile and a shrug, then laid back down on the bed again.
stan once again settled himself near the wall, laying on his side so they'd be face to face. - i love you. - he told him, staring into his eyes, feeling as if he were stargazing.
- i know, dude. i love you too. we told this each other already. - kyle's usual attitude seemed to resurface, which the raven did not mind, as it was sign that he's returning to his average feeling. - thank you for coming over. i'm sorry for ignoring you. your presence always helps a lot.
- don't worry. i should've done something sooner, at least noticed. - he embraced him for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.
- i miss you. - kyle spoke, his eyeglasses mushing deep into his skin as he pressed his face against stan's chest with a lot of pressure.
- hm? how do you mean? - the raven felt confused, furrowing his eyebrows lightly.
- i don't fucking know dude. i'm tired. - he shrugged into the hug.
- then go shower and you can go to sleep. when are your parents coming back home? - stan asked, stroking his hair again (which presumably brought more comfort to him than kyle).
- mm, i think like, in two days or something. - the ginger answered before thinking for a second, trying to recall.
- ok dude, then how about you go shower and after that i'll try to clean here up just a little? - he proposed, staring at him.
- okay. how about the bandages though? won't they get wet?
- if you're careful then they shouldn't.
- alright. - kyle sighed, leaving the embrace, making both of them miss the contact so much that it almost physically ached. - where are you going? - he added, hearing footsteps behind him.
- dude, in this state? i'm not sure when was the last time you've eaten, but it's clear you're malnourished, you have to support yourself with a wall anytime you walk. i just wanna come with you so i'm sure that nothing will happen. - he brought his hands up defensively, trying to mask his angst seeing his (boy)friend in such condition.
- no dude!! - the ginger shook his head.
- dude we have seen each other's dicks on multiple occasions, it's not even like i'm planning to stare. i just want to make sure you don't pass out.
- fine. - kyle sighed, opening the door to the bathroom.
stan sat on the closed toilet seat and waited patiently staring at the floor until the boy undressed, still not directing his gaze towards him.
he shuffled his feet as he heard the water start streaming down, hitting the floor of the bathtub. he finally shot a glance at where the boy stood, just hoping that he was alright.
even though it wasn't even a second long, he managed to notice how much has kyle's body deteriorated. cutting or avoiding food himself never felt like a biggie, but seeing how clearly the boy had been destroying his own self pained his heart.
especially knowing that kyle was always very serious about health. he knew all about eating habits, what to integrate into your routine to remain healthy, yet it had seemed like that knowledge has been bid farewell.
he only snapped back to reality hearing the faucet being turned, and the lack of water droplets hitting the floor. the shuffling of fabric, presumably kyle's pajamas, rang against his ears.
- i'm all done dude. you were right, i kinda feel better. - kyle told him, taking a stand in front of him.
- ah, okay! would you mind if i took a quick shower too? - he asked, looking up at the boy, noticing how his curls bounced around his head and covered his eyes.
the raven got pretty paranoid the second the words left his mouth, fearing that kyle was in fact not okay, and would do something to himself when he's busy showering.
- i don't mind. i'll go to my room. - the boy shrugged, leaning against the door for support given his still weakened body.
- uhh, kyle, actually, would you mind staying? you don't have to look, you can even take your phone or something, but i wanna be sure nothing will happen. - he pleaded, hoping he didn't sound stupid.
- oh, umm, yeah, okay dude. i don't want you worrying. i'll just get a pajama for you, okay? - he offered, already pulling on the doorknob.
- okay, thank you. - he smiled, absorbing the scent the boy left behind, even after leaving.
kyle had returned only 30 seconds later with a set of clothes stan was far too familiar with. - per usual. - the ginger said, placing the clothes which stan would usually wear during sleepovers on the dry sink, so that they wouldn't get wet. - get up, we need to switch seats.
the raven stood up and nodded, shooting a quick glance to make sure kyle wasn't looking and that he can start undressing. he wanted to do it quick, (not as if he was ever planning on taking an actual normal bath) so he attempted to beat his personal best at the shower-taking pace.
only a minute later he slumped out of the bathtub, quickly covering himself with a tower and drying. - alright dude, can i make you some food now? - he offered, having dressed into the pajamas.
- okay. - kyle seemed resigned, which was rather understandable, but stan was grateful that he'd agreed.
- what do you wanna eat? - the raven asked, helping his friend downstairs.
- dude, i don't know. i don't wanna eat at all.
- you have to. i'll make you uhh.. scrambled eggs. is that ok? - he offered, hope radiating from his voice. (even if kyle said no he would still make them because his cooking skills end on a sandwich)
- okay. just not too much. i'm not feeling like eating. - the ginger answered, his mood deteriorated, yet he knew that stan was doing this only out of care for him, and so he'd force himself to eat at least a little.
the sizzling of the egg on the pan rang out around the kitchen, while kyle hummed, sitting at the table and watching stan. he looked as his hair seemed to always go down despite constantly being tucked behind the ear (only in private settings. he does not trust strangers enough to see his forehead), the way his lips were always slightly pouted, how swift and natural all his movements seemed.
he felt a little guilty. he knew stan had mental problems on his own (probably why they get along so well aside from their personalities), yet he made today all about himself. he felt lousy, and he cursed himself for being partially annoyed at the raven for coming here.
he knew it was out of pure worry and love, yet at times it was as if he desired self-destruction. he wanted to get better for stan, though. he didn't like seeing him sad, borderline depressed, and so he didn't want to add problems, knowing how the boy had so many.
the plate of poorly-fried egg was set in front of him, along with a cup of tea, matching another one that stands held in his hands.
- don't force yourself, dude. i'm not trying to make you feel bad. i don't want you to be unhealthy though. - he said, sitting down beside him and wrapping his hand around the ginger's torso ever so slightly.
- okay. thank you stan. i see that you're trying to care for me. - he spoke quietly, grabbing a fork and shoving some of the food into his mouth. it felt as if he had never eaten and food was an euthaniser, but he pulled through.
- i'm full. - he said after a few more bites, and moved the plate aside. he grabbed the cup of tea and took a sip.
- thanks dude. i'm glad that you ate, i'm proud, you're tuff asf bro. - he patted him on the back then got up, taking the plate to clean the rest off and throw it into the bin, then put it into the dishwasher.
stan didn't seem to mind doing chores for now. he was capable of doing things he'd never find motivation for, as long as he could help kyle.
- okay dude, come on upstairs. we'll clean up a bit then go to sleep, alright? - the raven offered, giving kyle a light smile.
he nodded, getting up and waiting for stan to join his side as they returned to his room. he admittedly felt better physically, but mentally he was feeling guilty.
- i think if we just pick up the clothes it should be fine. you don't even have to iron them, dude. you just lowkey gotta grab them like that.. - stan started, grabbing a shirt he picked up and presenting his skills - and like uhh, pull like this. - he said, making a rapid move. - see?
- of course it is stan marsh that comes up with techniques to substitute basic chores. - the ginger chuckled, getting up to help him clean the room.
it didn't take too long - or at least didn't feel like it when they talked and joked around - and the floor was now almost entirely empty.
- we can sleep now. - he said, giving kyle a smile, then launching himself onto the bed and rolling under the covers, making space for the boy to enter as well.
the second kyle laid down the raven brought him close, wrapping his hands around him and pulling with a force so strong as if he were trying to not let him slip away ever again.
kyle's nose scrunched up against stan's shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind. he breathed in the scent of alcohol mixed with his mum's vanilla shower gel, which stan presumably used when bathing himself. it was far more comforting than earlier, and he felt entirely safe.
although one thing was gnawing at him in his stomach, a feeling of dishonesty making it's way into his mind. he hugged stan back, and also wrapped a leg around his waist, just to be even closer.
he bent around to turn the night lamp off, causing the room to turn almost entirely dark. once again, the moon illuminated their faces. it's as if they went back the past few hours, only with the difference that kylee felt far more comforted.
- stan? - he started, a bit stressed, huffing into his shoulder.
- yeah? - the boy asked, stroking his hair.
- uhh.. - he interrupted to swallow his saliva. he didn't want to admit, because he was scared stan would consider him a pussy for whatever reason. - before you came, i was kind of contemplating killing myself.
the silence only lingered after the last word rung out. the gingers eyes threatened to fill with tears again, feeling overwhelmed by the stress.
- why? - the raven asked. loosening the grip so he could pull back and stare at kyle's face.
- dude, i don't know. i wouldn't do it. i couldn't. - he paused, considering whether some things would be better to be left unsaid, yet finally decided on trying to open up a bit more. - because i couldn't leave you alone. i think it would be selfish.
- ah. - stan nodded slowly, his eyes also noticeably glistening with tears. he knew what's it like. hell, he even attempted before. it was such a big difference to him when somebody else talked about it though. especially kyle. - thank you. i won't say i understand because i'll never comprehend what you might actually be going through but uhh .. dude, if anything happens, please tell me, i don't wanna lose you.
- okay. - was the only thing kyle could excuse out of himself, before starting to sob into stan's shoulder. nothing else needed to be said, honestly. he didn't like to talk about his feelings, he'd rather bottle it up inside and let it go unnoticed.
he didn't feel the need to anymore. he felt better, at least slightly. he wouldn't want to discuss it in depth. he just wanted to tell stan, trusting him with his feelings.
an unrecognisable amount of time has passed before the both of them calmed down. the silence remained, yet it was one of comfort, embracing them with warmth.
- i love you, kyle. - stan interrupted, speaking lightly, ripping his head up a little.
- thank you. i know. we have told this each other already today. i love you too. - he said, drowning his face in the raven's chest.
kyle could feel his head being pulled up, then his cheeks cupped slightly. - hm? - he questioned, looking into his interlocutor's eyes.
- nothing, dude. - stan shrugged, then planted a kiss on his lips.
kyle allowed himself to reposition his hands to wrap around stan's neck, hopefully to lengthen the kiss. he jabbed at his lips rather aggressively, action reeking with lust.
kyle’s craving seemed to only grow with each passing second, bringing his hands to the man’s cheeks instead and sneaking his tongue inside.
his braces clinked against stan’s teeth, but neither of them seemed to mind. he attempted to get rid of the smile creeping onto his lips, but a slight smirk was something inevitable.
kyle brought their bodies even closer than before, applying more pressure. their mouths danced along, the kiss rather sloppy. objectively, it couldn’t have possibly been enjoyable - their lips were dry, chapped, slightly too warm, and their breaths stank for many different reasons.
to them it had seemed as if it was the most angelic thing they yet got to experience. the sheets let out a quiet sound anytime they shifted around, which seemed to happen extremely often, as they were driven by concupiscence (did i use this word right????? sorry xdddd) for one another.
the raven could sense kyle’s cold, long fingers sneak under his t-shirt, nudging his sensitive skin just a bit. he hesitated for a second, before breaking the kiss and moving away, a string of saliva, messed up hair and rosy cheeks being the only proof of what had just happened.
- hm? - kyle hummed, looking at him confused.
- i don’t think this is right. you’re not in the right mindstate. - he sighed, looking away, yet keeping his hands wrapped around him in a hug.
- i’m feeling fine now, stanley. it’s not an issue, dude. - his eyelashes fluttered as he spoke, a bit of worry creeping into his eyes.
- i don’t mind kissing, dude, if it’s what comforts you i’m here for it, but i don’t think it’s right to go any further. - he insisted, sneaking his hand into the boy’s red hair.
- okay, i understand. - kyle nodded, not exactly satisfied, but glad that stan seemed to care enough to do this.
the ginger pulled their lips together back again, this time without any sexual undertones, filled with pure feeling, rather than anything else. he cupped stan’s jaw, as he rubbed circles against his back.
they kept interrupting every few seconds to take breaths, their lips slightly clacking with every connection. they had shifted into an embrace, then pulled away for the last time.
it went without words, that they were finished for the time being. stan settled a bit higher against the pillow, while kyle positioned himself next to him, wrapping his arms around him and placing his head in the crook of his arm.
i dont know how to end this they went to sleep bro idk