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Duckman was unknowingly invited to King Chicken’s house to discuss their kids’ relationship. Duckman’s son Ajax and King Chicken’s daughter Tammy had recently started dating, so both of them thought it’d be a good idea to meet the parents of their child’s partner. What they didn’t learn until tonight however was that both of their kids were dating the child of their arch nemesis.
The night had gone poorly so far. Everyone had been arguing, drinking, or flirting with each other since Duckman and Bernice had arrived. In the midst of one specific argument, King Chicken was ranting about why he hated Duckman… As he did most of the time he was around. He blamed Duckman for the bullying he had gone through in high school since he had always joined in. In response to King Chicken’s outburst, Duckman admitted that whenever King Chicken wasn’t around, Duckman would become everyone’s next punching bag. So in order to avoid the wrath of the other kids in school, he’d join in with them and direct it towards King Chicken instead.
“I’m sorry.” Duckman said once he had explained everything. Everyone at the table was shocked to hear Duckman’s apology. He’s never usually this open, especially with people he supposedly hated like King Chicken.
The room went silent (at least until Ajax came in to ask for some random stuff) . Within this awkward silence, King Chicken realized that he and Duckman had more in common than he originally thought. They were both losers in school, and they’re still losers! This gave King Chicken quite a lot to think about. Once Ajax left to get whatever he was looking for, Duckman made a joke about parenting, which lightened the mood a bit. King Chicken took this as an opportunity to invite Duckman into his “office” (which was literally just his basement with a shrine dedicated to killing Duckman).
Once the two went downstairs, they actually started to enjoy each other’s company! They laughed together, reminisced about the old days, played the “fun machine” together (which was seemingly just a piano), and had a couple drinks. While the two sat at the tiny bar King Chicken set up, they drunkenly talked to each other about how they truly felt.
“You wanna know a secret?” Duckman asked. Without waiting for an answer, he said, “Sometimes… I wish I was an evil genius just like you… Because lemme tell ya! You are the best in the biz, mister!” King Chicken was happy to hear that. Really happy. He mumbled in response, “It means a lot to hear you drunkenly slur that, because… I never wanted just to murder you… I wanted your respect… You’re the one! You’re… Dickman! Private duck!”
“You said I’m awful!” They belched each others’ names and bursted into laughter. King Chicken slowly put his arm around Duckman as he said, “I just want you to know… I love you… man.” Duckman mumbled, “ Iloveyoutoo … man.” as he put his hand on King Chicken’s cheek.
The two sat there at the bar for a moment, locked in eye contact. They both wanted to kiss each other at that moment, but there was a lingering fear keeping them from going through with it. Once Duckman snapped out of his trance, he quickly took his hand off of King Chicken’s face and turned away embarrassed. He tried to find some sort of excuse for wimping out of kissing him, so he drunkenly slurred, “Wuh... Wait! What about your wife..? You don’t want her to figure out you swing that way, dontcha?”
Duckman was obviously flustered, which amused King Chicken, but he decided it’d be best to ignore it. He chuckled and said, “Oh please, she already knows about me and Bernice, what difference will one more affair make?” “What about her Bernice then? I thought you actually loved her?” Duckman asked, but then he thought to himself, “Bernice would be pissed if she saw us like this! …Although it would be pretty funny to see her get her heart broken. Besides, she never cares about how I feel, why should I care about her?”
Duckman was about to tell King Chicken not to worry about Bernice, until he noticed that he was deep in thought. “Well…” King Chicken was trying to make sense of this predicament. While he does love Bernice, that was only because he thought he wouldn’t be able to love Duckman. As shitty as it sounds, Bernice was meant to act as a substitute for Duckman. After all, she’s another duck and a part of Duckman’s family, so she was close enough, right?
“Listen Duckman, I…” King Chicken hesitated. “I love you. Not Honey, not Bernice, you.”
Duckman was confused to say the least. This didn’t make any sense to him. “Why even cheat on your wife… If you… You don’t even like the person you’re cheating on her with?” Duckman was too drunk to make a coherent sentence, let alone figure out this whole complicated situation. King Chicken was nervous, but he knew he had to admit how he’s been feeling. “Well… To be perfectly honest, I only got romantically involved with Bernice because she was the closest thing to you I could have. I mean, how was I supposed to know you were even into guys? Whenever you have free time, you’re salivating over scantily clothed women in your little… Magazines.”
“Hey! How’d you know about that?!” Duckman freaked out, but the truth was everyone knew. It wasn’t hard to tell considering how he acted whenever he was around women. “Bernice complains about it all the time.” King Chicken told him. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I hate Bernice, it’s just that she’s only attractive to me because she reminds me of you. ”
Duckman didn’t know what to think. Obviously he was flattered, but he was also very confused. “Then why would you try to kill me? Why make that shrine, why insult me whenever we see each other, why would you claim to be my nemesis?” Duckman’s mind was going at a million miles a minute as he piled a bunch of questions onto King Chicken.
“Listen, Duckman…” King Chicken put his hand on Duckman’s shoulder. “I had an image to uphold! Sure I hated you when we were younger, but as time went on, I couldn’t help but fall in love with you. I couldn’t just confess my feelings, you thought I hated you! And frankly, I thought you hated me too.” Duckman sighed, “I mean, I only hated you cus I thought you hated me ! But now that you’re saying all of this, I…” Duckman went silent for a moment then reached out for a bottle of Vodka on the counter. “...I’m not drunk enough to have this conversation. Bottoms up!”
As Duckman chugged the bottle, King Chicken took a tiny sip of his own drink. He looked around the room, trying to find a way to make this conversation less awkward. “How about we… Watch some TV?” King Chicken asked as he pointed towards his big boxy TV in the corner. Duckman shrugged, “Eh, why not?” King Chicken got up and walked over to the TV as Duckman grabbed a bunch of bottles and followed close behind. Without thinking, Duckman hopped onto the same chair that King Chicken was in, even though it was only meant for one person. Duckman maneuvered himself comfortably on King Chicken’s lap, which both surprised King Chicken and made him chuckle a bit. Neither of them cared what they watched, so Duckman grabbed the remote and put on a random sports channel.
As they watched the TV, they occasionally inched a bit closer and snuggled up more and more. It was quiet and kinda awkward, but it was also cozy and nice just to chill out like that. After a while, King Chicken had his head on Duckman’s shoulder and the two were very close to each other. Duckman turned towards King Chicken which caught his attention, and the two looked at each other, inches away from each others’ faces. King Chicken broke the silence, “You’ve been awfully quiet.” Duckman snickered and responded, “Well, I was just thinking… I don’t think I’ve ever been into guys.” He paused and whispered to himself, “Actually, there was that one guy from high school… And that other guy at that bar the other night… Oh. Oh. ” King Chicken laughed and leaned in. “So I guess I’m not the first guy, huh?” Duckman laughed awkwardly, “Heh… Yeah, I guess not...” They both locked eyes for a moment as Duckman put his hand on King Chicken’s chest. “Look King Chicken, I eh… Would you mind if I-” King Chicken didn’t wait for Duckman to finish his sentence and quickly pulled him in for a kiss. That kiss quickly escalated into the two of them cartoonishly rolling around while making out, bumping into random stuff around the room and breaking a bunch of stuff. It was wild dude.
The two had made so much noise that the ladies upstairs could hear them. Out of curiosity, Bernice had walked over to the door of the basement and peaked through. “Duckman!” Bernice yelled, “What’s with all this commotion? I can hear you from the dining room!” The two panicked. Luckily they were out of Bernice’s sight because they were behind the bar, but they knew that they were in trouble regardless. What are they gonna do? “Duckman? Duckman! What are you deaf? Answer me!” Duckman and King Chicken looked at each other, unsure of what to do. “Uh… Don’t worry Bernice!” Duckman yelled, “Me and King Chicken were just… Uh…” He couldn’t think of an excuse, but he had to think of one. Fast .
King Chicken leaned in and whispered, “Follow my lead.” King Chicken stood up from behind the bar and looked at Bernice. “Kingy?” She said, confused. “Why were you ducking behind the bar?” King Chicken faked a smile and said, “Don’t worry about us darling, we were just play fighting to reminisce on the old times when we’d attack each other!” Duckman stood up next to King Chicken and looked at Bernice. “Yeah! We yeah… We just got too carried away!” Bernice glared at the two of them as she came downstairs. She looked around at all the broken stuff around the room, and sighed. “Well, can you two ‘play fight’ a little quieter?” Duckman nodded, “Sure thing! Just head on back upstairs, wontcha? We don't wanna accidentally hurt you, do we King Chicken?” Duckman elbowed King Chicken and he said, “Oh, uh… Yes! Of course not!” Bernice rolled her eyes and turned around to go back upstairs.
Duckman and King Chicken sighed in relief. Duckman gave King Chicken a pat on the back, “Well, ‘Kingy,’ shall we get back to it?” The two chuckled and King Chicken responded, “We should probably head back upstairs, otherwise the ladies might get suspicious and figure us out. We can do this again another night. Maybe I can come by your house say… Saturday?” Duckman shook his head, “No, Charles and Mambo would catch onto us way too quickly. Lets keep these, er… ‘Meetings’ in your house.” King Chicken smiled and kissed Duckman on the cheek. “That’ll work.” The two shared a quick kiss and went back upstairs together, ready to get back to the girls.
BONUS FANART CUS I GOT BORED!!!
