Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

--Anakin's POV-- 

I saw her ship get into Mustafar’s orbit a while ago. What in the world could she be here of all places? Especially so long into her pregnancy with our child? 

I ran outside as her ship landed, the hot air instantly making sweat bead where my hairline was. God, why in the ever loving Force the separatist were here, I’d never know. However, this lava ridden forsaken planet gave me ideas already for one of Vader’s strongholds. Padmé wouldn’t want to be on this planet at all when she chose to rule the galaxy at my side. I’d have to choose other planets to inhabit for her to be comfortable. 

Because why wouldn’t she want to rule the galaxy with someone as powerful as me? 

I threw off the hood of my cloak when her ship docked. And when I saw her run off her ship she looked radiant even as everything around her burned. Her hair was braided back, and Force, she did nothing to conceal her swollen belly. 

It did nothing but swell my chest with pride, our child would be perfect, I knew it. At the same time, it gave me reminders that I had to prevent my nightmares from coming to fruition. I could prevent her death, with my new powers, she would see. She would be by my side forever more.

I ran to her as she ran off her ship, it would be poetic if not for the fact we were on this planet of all places. 

Even more so if I hadn’t just basked in my slaughter of the separatists. 

“Anakin!” She shouted as she met my arms. 

I instantly hugged her small body to my form. She was so fragile, she was so beautiful. She hugged me back as always, but her whole body was tense, as if she knew she was hugging a monster. 

“I saw your ship,” I breathed in her ear. “What are you doing out here ?” She knew I wanted her safe still back on Coruscant.

“I was so worried about you.” She pulled back to look up at my face. “Obi-wan told me terrible things.” 

This made me pause over my words, Obi-wan talked to her? “What things?” 

“He said,” she took a few gasping breaths, “that you’d turned to the dark side, that you… killed younglings.” 

Force, I just wanted to shake her shoulders, she didn’t even know what she was saying. She didn’t know the lengths I was going for her. “Obi-wan is trying to turn you against me.” 

She gasped ever so slightly. “He cares about us.” 

“ Us? ” I wanted to laugh. If he would care he would have left Padmé alone, he wouldn’t get inbetween my marriage. And no way he would know , then again Padmé’s non-existent robes she wore to conceal her pregnancy were gone as she wore something that proudly showed her stomach off.

“He knows. He wants to help you.” She was starting to shake now, “Anakin, all I want is your love.” 

I shook my head, “Love won’t save you, Padmé, only my new powers can do that.” 

“At what cost? You’re a good person, don't do this!” My, the tears in her eyes were almost unbearable, but she wasn’t understanding. Why wouldn’t she understand?!

“I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother. I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I’m doing it for you , to protect you.”

If that didn’t explain it, nothing else would.

She placed her hands on either side of my face, and dragged them up through my hair. It felt good, so good I almost forgot the reasoning behind her being here. “Come away with me. Help me raise our child! Leave everything else behind while we still can!” 

I blinked in awe, “Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I-I can overthrow him. And together you and I can rule the galaxy . Make things the way we want them to be!” 

Padmé all but tore herself from my arms and backed away slowly. The action reminded me of what prey would do when escaping a predator… 

She continued, “I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Obi-wan was right, you’ve changed. ” 

I wanted to roll my damned eyes, “I don’t want to hear anymore about Obi-wan. The Jedi turned against me, don’t you turn against me .” 

“I don’t know you anymore… Anakin, you’re breaking my heart.” her voice shook, I was gutted. “You’re going down a path I can’t follow.”

“Because of Obi-wan?” I scoffed. Of course that bastard would be the reason.

She shook her head ever so slightly, “Because of what you’ve done. What you plan to do. Stop-- Stop now, come back! I love you!”  

And for an instant, I wanted to believe her. I wanted for her love to engulf me as a flame like the ones surrounding us. I wanted to go with her. 

That wouldn’t save her though. The Chancellor promised there would be a way to save her, as Darth Vader I would save her.  

“I can’t live without you Padmé, that’s a life I refuse to live!” I screamed at her. 

“This-- all this-- is about that stupid nightmare?” She yelled right back. That’s what I love about her, she is never afraid to put me in my place. 

Even when the dark side is mere inches away. Hell it’s already consumed most of me. 

“Anakin, I won’t die. I already told you that!” She continued. 

I shook my head and then my knees finally gave out. I was a crumpled mess on the floor. If I didn’t convince her she would die. “Padmé please… you will die in childbirth, I’ve seen it! I’ve told you a thousand times before, and if going down this path saves you then so be it!” 

She always surprised me, but this moment shattered everything else. I felt her knees against my own and I looked up to see her sitting directly in front of me. She lifted my chin properly so I could meet her eyes, her chocolate brown orbs bore straight into my blue ones. Tears left their marks down her cheeks and she looked to be on her last leg.

In the smallest voice I’d ever heard her speak in, she said, “Ani, I would rather die giving birth, than to see you become this sith. I wouldn’t want to be alive if that meant you lost yourself to the dark side.” She took a deep breath, “If you went down a path like that, you would be killing me yourself.” 

My eyes watered almost instantly during her speech. “Padmé…” I gasped, it hurt, everything hurt. “What do I do? How do I go on past this? What if you--” I couldn’t even say the word die . 

“Oh Ani, then you continue to live. You would have a part of me forever.” She looked down and rubbed her belly. 

I started to shake my head instantly. No, no , it would not be like having a part of her, if she died I don’t even think I would be able to love the thing that killed her. 

As if knowing what I was thinking, she grabbed my fleshed hand and placed it on her belly. God I could feel everything Padmé was feeling. Each kick, each movement. And if I concentrated hard enough with the Force, I could practically feel its heartbeat. It was so strong, so surreal. 

“I went to Palpatine because he knew.. He knew you were pregnant, he knew of my visions.” I shook my head, “What about the Jedi?” 

Padmé looked confused, “What about the Jedi?” 

“They were planning to overthrow the senate, they were plotting against the Chancellor. Even Obi-wan knew, and he would kill me the second he saw me.” 

“Anakin, Obi-wan wants to help you, you’re like his brother, you can talk to him, trust him.” Padmé suggested. 

“How do I know it’s not a lie?” I questioned. “How do I trust that he isn’t using all this to get to you?  

She rolled her eyes at me, “Force, that Chancellor really messed with your head, huh Ani? Listen to me Anakin Skywalker, Palpatine is evil, he is a sith lord who seemingly found you easy to manipulate. All this talk about me dying was his way of putting his hooks in you. And Obi-wan? What are you even talking about with that one, my love is only for you.”

She continued on, “Come back on my ship, where we can talk about this, where you can think about right and wrong. I know there is good in you, you talking to me like this is proof. Now, where is R2? We need to bring him aboard, 3PO is already waiting.” 

I hesitated, but in the end all I did was nodded furiously, too scared to even use my voice. We both were drenched in sweat, we both were exhausted. While I knew nothing would be the same, I knew the dark side was within me if I liked it or not. 

Padmé knew this as well, when she looked at me, I wondered if she saw sith eyes, or my blue ones? I knew I wouldn’t be able to see a difference anymore. 

She gathered R2, who wasn’t far from where my own ship was. 3PO walked down the platform ramp to meet Padmé. 

“My, Master Anakin! You look--” He started 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence 3PO.” I put my hood back on over my head as I boarded Padmé’s ship. I didn’t even want the droid I built all those years ago to see the darkness linger in my eyes. 

I didn’t sit in the pilot's chair, I didn't even want to sit in the cockpit. I chose the back, where there were two rows of seats facing each other. When Padmé passed me I imagined what she saw: A pitiful man, in a pitiful state. 

She placed her hands on either side of my face, “Calm…” She whispered to me and after a moment slid on hand down to the center of my chest where my heart beat lay.

I looked up at her, and as always I saw the most beautiful woman in the galaxy-- I knew I felt justified in this moment, I knew the galaxy would be a dark cruel place if I let go of this girl. 

This angel. 

                                                                                                                                              ---

--Padmé’s POV-- 

I rested my forehead in the palm of my hand while the ship slowed to a cruise in the deep depths of space. In my head, I went back and forth between going back to Coruscant and going to Naboo. 

I chose the latter. 

I was the one who told Ani to run away with me, Naboo seemed like the safest bet. Especially when I knew going to Coruscant-- where Palpatine and even the Jedi temple lay-- could very well be the death of Anakin. The worst part was I wouldn’t know who would kill him first: The little, very little remaining Jedi, or Palpatine himself and his clones.

The only reason I thought of Coruscant was because of Obi-wan. He, without a doubt, would help Anakin. He would help us. I knew in the back of my mind Anakin did not trust Obi-wan for some deep rooted reason Palpatine gave him. But I prayed that it would be fixed on Naboo. 

I heard soft snores and grumbles coming from my husband behind me. When I turned to look at him his body stayed sitting up, his chin dipped down and eyes closed. His carmel brown locks were tangled and his skin still had sweat remaining. 

Even in this state he was beautiful. 

He had never been a sound sleeper, unfortunately. When he was still just a padawan, I used to hear him thrash around and scream when a nightmare came. Becoming his wife and sleeping in the same bed as him, I noticed even without the nightmares he would move and talk in his sleep. 

I wondered what nightmares would plague a sith lord. 

His eyes frightened me when I thought about how he looked on Mustafar. Sometimes gleaming with yellow-- the eyes of a sith-- sometimes they would be blue, but the anger and hatred in them made me terrified. 

With that anger, so much of it was directed towards the Jedi, even Obi-wan… It shook me to my core to think about what would have happened if I told Obi-wan I knew what planet he was on. Would they have fought? Would he kill Anakin? Would Anakin kill his brother and master? 

I didn’t want to think about it. 

I turned to the golden droid next to me. “3PO, it’s on autopilot, please call for me if anything happens.” I got out of my chair and automatically my feet were taking me to Anakin. 

“Yes, Miss Padmé.” He said. 

I walked in front of Ani’s sleeping figure, in his sleeping state he didn’t look spiteful, he didn’t look like a Jedi-- he just looked like my Anakin. 

I bent over and shook his shoulder gently, “Ani, Anakin wake up.” 

He startled awake, jumping violently and thrashing my arm off of him. He looked up at me gasping, and there were his sith eyes again. 

They turned blue after recognizing me, “Oh, Padmé, I’m sorry.” He gasped. 

I shook my head, “It’s okay, I know how you get when you’re sleeping.” It took some courage, but I reached up again and this time caressed his cheek. 

He leaned into it ever so slightly. “Where are we headed?” 

I bit my lip, “Naboo… I couldn’t decide between here and Coruscant, but decided that maybe it would be best if you didn’t be in the same place as the Jedi Temple-- or what is left from it. Even worse, Palpatine.” 

He nodded and stood up, removing my hand from his face. “And Obi-wan?” He cringed like he was being burnt just by saying his name. 

“We can contact him once we arrive.” 

“And where will we go on Naboo?” 

I smirked, “My family’s home of course. I’m due soon too, it might be wise to stay with my sister?” 

Anakin looked down at my very pregnant stomach and his eyebrows furrowed. 

“What is it?” I asked. 

“Nothing.” 

“I thought we were going to be honest with each other?” I reminded him. 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Maybe that was before I slaughtered so many…” 

“So, what? Now the dark side is affecting your honesty? That’s-- That’s bullshit Anakin.” 

He spoke up as soon as the words left my mouth, “If you die, I’m doing anything I can to bring you back, Padmé. I still don’t want Obi-wan’s help, but you seem insistent on it. I just want you to be alive after this ends.” 

“Have you considered the fact that I won’t always be alive?” I was yelling now but I didn’t care. “Anakin, I will die some day, whether that’s giving childbirth, or some unforeseen accident, or old age! I may die before you, Force you may die before me! What should matter is us now.” 

He stared at me with his mouth agape. I’m sure he never even thought of it that way, judging by the way he stared at me as if he were looking into a sun for the first time. 

He was quiet for a long moment until he spoke in almost a whisper, “I just can’t help but believe it will be my fault if you die, Padmé. You’re pregnant, I’m the one who should have been more caref--” 

I interrupted him, “It was also my choice. You said it yourself, ‘this baby is a blessing,’ did you not?” 

“Before I could even think it would kill you!” 

Anakin was breathing hard, and I couldn’t help but notice the yellow eyes once back staring at me. I reached up to hold him, I placed my arms around his neck and as I felt him stiffen at my touch, my heart broke. 

“Ani,” I whispered in his ear, “Love, please don’t do this, come back to me.”

He didn’t push me away, but I could feel his tenseness, I knew he wanted to. Instead, after a few beats, he nodded and hugged me back, wrapping his arms around my waist. He buried his face into my neck and for a second I wanted to break down and sob-- I’m shocked I didn’t. 

He held me for what felt like a long, long time. Until the sound of 3PO dragged us out of each other's embrace. 

“I do believe we are nearing Naboo.” The droid said. 

Anakin stepped away from me to the cockpit where the droid sat. “I’ll prepare for landing.”

And the sight was almost too much-- Anakin flying my ship, 3PO next to him, R2 by the rows of chairs.

And my home planet below us.

Chapter Text

--Padmé’s POV--

Why was Anakin’s hair short? I don’t mean the short it was when he was growing it out-- it was padawan short. Jedi braid and all. 

I realized it wasn’t just the hair in this moment, but he was nothing but smiles and laughs. He was gentle, kind, his laugh literally made me melt as we sat in our meadow, on top of his Jedi robes so we wouldn’t be on the grass directly.

That was Anakin, he may be brash and sometimes trigger happy, but he was also thoughtful and precise. 

I missed this Anakin. 

He held my body on top over his and laughed like he heard the world's best joke. And when he lifted his head ever so slightly to kiss my face just about everywhere, I felt more at home than any place else.

“Padmé…” He sighed, “I’ve never been so happy before, in all honesty, I’m afraid.” 

“Why ever could you be afraid? I haven’t seen you so happy in months .” I questioned. When he came back from the Outer Rim Sieges he was still my old Anakin, right up until he had that first nightmare about me dying. 

He grinned, but it was… off, more sinister than what I was used to. “Because of the dark side, of course.” 

Suddenly everything around us changed. We were standing a couple feet apart from each other, his hair was grown out and shaggy, his eyes glowed yellow, and we were surrounded by nothing but lava. 

He continued on, “Padmé, you want to kill me, hmm? I can feel it. Or maybe it’s Obi-wan that wants to kill me.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, Obi-wan was nowhere near Mustafar-- I never told him the planet Anakin went to because somewhere deep down I knew Anakin wouldn’t make it if so. 

I shook my head, “Anakin, never! I just want to help you. Obi-wan wants to help you!” 

Suddenly I felt it. All at once an all consuming pressure gathered around my neck, around the base of my throat. It was cutting off my air, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t do anything except watch my Anakin using the Force to… to kill me, to choke me. 

“Please-- Anakin.” I wheezed. 

And then I blacked out. 

…

I woke up with a start, lurching up in my bed with my hair probably everywhere. It had been just two weeks since Anakin, R2 and 3PO, and I came to Naboo. Anakin had a room next to mine, but I insisted he sleep in my bed with me. 

We decided the best place would be the Lake Country on Naboo, where we spent most of our time when Anakin played bodyguard for me during the attempt of my assassination.

I panted, still in bed, while a bead of sweat trail from the side of my temple, trying to let my heart restart. Anakin was surprisingly in the bed snoring softly-- it took what seemed like forever for him to sleep in here. It was days and days of me begging.

He insisted he wanted to distance himself from me, that while he danced on the line of the dark side he didn’t want to put me in danger. I didn’t put up with that, I knew there was good in him, so much more than he realized. He left everything behind for me, for our baby-- not only that, I could never imagine Anakin would put his hands on me. 

Then what was that dream? The little voice in my head was loud about what I had dreamt.

I questioned myself over and over-- why would I dream of such a tragic fate with Anakin? I had dreamed he choked me using the Force, that was something inconceivable. 

I looked down to my left where he was sleeping. In this state he looked like Anakin before he turned to the dark side, before he murdered Jedi, before Palpatine got inside his head. He just looked like my husband, the one I fell in love with on Naboo years ago. The one who laughed and would tease me. The one who would look at me like I was the most beautiful person in the galaxy, and would caress me just the same. 

I lifted my hand down to his shaggy hair and stoked it gently in his sleep. “Oh, Anakin…” I whispered and bent down to kiss his cheek softly. 

No matter the cause, I would bring him back fully. 

He grumbled in his sleep, obviously waking up upon my kiss. He squeezed his already closed eyes deeper and stretched his legs out while sighing. Before even opening his eyes he placed a gentle hand on my belly and rubbed his thumb in soothing circles. 

“Padmé, it’s early…” He groaned and opened his eyes to meet my own, “Why are you sitting up, what’s wrong?” 

In the two weeks we have been here, some days his eyes terrified me. I’d never tell him that. But I think he knew-- he knew when the yellow with red rims would take over, he knew when the blue were dulled and anguished. He knew when I cringed away because I was afraid.  

However in the mornings, they looked normal, they looked at me like there was nothing else worth looking at. 

“Bad dream,” I rasped and shook my head. 

“Usually I’m the one with nightmares.” His brows creased in the middle, “What was it about?” 

I shook my head again, “Nothing, it must be because I’m so close.” I placed a hand over his own which was still on my stomach. 

“I’m scared…” Anakin whispered. 

“About the baby? The birth?” 

He frowned, “Don’t remind me about the birth… More so about my nature currently, Padmé, I’m not good, you have to realize that. I could easily hurt you, our child, just purely because I’m pissed off. Because I have these irrational thoughts. That’s what's so terrifying, that I hurt those I love in the process.” 

“I believe you thinking ahead about that shows that there is good in you. Shows that you are already aware of your, uh, nature.” I placed my hand back through the waves of his hair. “I know you don’t want to hurt me, or obviously our child.” 

“Hmm.” He hummed like he was actually considering this for the first time. “I guess you may be right.” 

I gave him a weak smile 

Then what was that dream?

“Have any baby names in mind?” Anakin spoke up, getting me out of my thoughts.

“A few,” I let out a chuckle, “I want to hear your ideas, though.”

Anakin grabbed my hand that was still stroking his hair and brought it down to his lips and kissed the inside of my palm once. He sat up slowly, still groggy from sleep, and sat against the pillows next to me. His lips were set in a tight line when he noticed our position and gently placed an arm around my back to scoot me up into his lap. 

The action was effortless, smooth. I felt ridiculous though, with my arms wrapping around his neck and one of his arms holding me behind my back, his prosthetic wrapped around my waist. I felt like a child. 

He chucked when he saw my bewildered expression. “Would you be upset if I didn’t have a clue for names? It hasn’t been something on the forefront of my mind.” 

I nodded, “I understand-- honestly I’m the same, I just have one name each for a boy and for a girl.” 

“Let’s hear them--” He spoke up, but R2’s beeping came outside of the closed door of the bedroom. 

“R2-D2, no! Master told us not to disturb him and Miss Padmé.” 3PO said to R2. 

More beeping came from R2. 

“Why I never!” 

Anakin rolled his eyes, “Not a moment of peace,” he grumbled.

“We’ve had almost nothing but peace for once, Ani.” I argued lightly. 

It was semi-true. The only issues have been Anakin having his moments where he would lash out after a dream or memory. Or sometimes when I talked about Obi-wan meeting us here he would get angry at the suggestion and shut himself off from me for the rest of the day. 

Other than that, we were closer than we had been in months. He spent time with me like this morning, and we visited our favorite places, like our meadow, or viewing the gardens. 

My sister sometimes would visit us. She was supportive of mine and Anakin’s relationship, always had been. When we arrived on Naboo, she was one of the first people we spoke to, I knew she would protect our secret. Her visiting us in the Lake Country gave her a chance to know Anakin a bit more-- however we kept most of why we were on Naboo hidden. She was ecstatic of our marriage, of the child that was growing inside me. She would even help with the birth. I was about six months pregnant, so in a few more months it would be that time.

“What shall we do today?” Anakin asked. 

“You know what I would prefer…” I wanted to contact Obi-wan to tell him our situation. To have him talk to Anakin and set things right between them. Most importantly get to the bottom of Palpatine and the little remaining Jedi. We’ve talked about it so much just in the past week.

I wish I held my tongue.

Suddenly the furniture started shaking, including every little trinket and decor around the room. If I didn’t know any better I would assume it was a planet tremor. But it was the Force, and it was filled with hatred and anger from Anakin Skywalker. 

“You know my answer to that, Padmé.” He snarled at me, eyes growing yellow. 

I placed a hand over his chest, his heart was beating furiously. “Calm.” 

The shaking stopped but he slid out from underneath me, moving my body back on the mattress as he stood next to the bed. “Padmé, why do you have to insist on him coming here? Of him ruining this?” He sounded like he was scolding a child. 

I was over this already, I knew I should have kept my mouth closed. “Because he was like your brother! Like your father! And, what? He’s just never going to see you again? You’re never going to see him again?” I started panting, “What if he needs your help? Palpatine is still out there, those clones could be hunting him down!” 

He bent down getting in my face, “Maybe he should have gotten stronger as well.” 

“That’s a cheap shot, Anakin. You’re new powers came from wanting to become evil--” 

He cut me off sighing, “Padmé didn’t you say all you wanted was my love? Well, here I am giving that to you. I destroyed the Jedi, I left Palpatine, fuck I left everything I wanted to be here with you.” 

My heart felt heavy, like it had sunk to the bottom of my stomach. “So I was just a second option? You left everything you wanted so you could be with your least favorite choice?” There were tears already welled in my eyes, “I’m your wife, Anakin. Not some option you didn’t even want.” 

Anakin’s face was in shock for a brief second. As if he couldn’t even process what he had just said. His brows creased in the middle and he closed his eyes, “I didn’t mean it like that-- no, of course I don’t think that.” 

“Then why would you even say that?” 

“I became what I am for you . I chose this path because I saw you dying, because I just wanted your love, like you crave mine.” He opened his eyes again-- they were blue-- and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to me. “I’m sorry, I just feel lost. You are all I want, but I left what I thought was right to do so.” 

I understood, really. And I knew his mind was shattered. It was in two, never really Anakin, never really this sith lord. 

It still scared me all the same. 

“That’s why we’re doing this, isn’t it? We ran away together to help you, but there’s still some issues that need solving.” I told him. “Just please give it some thought.” 

He nodded, surprisingly, after a moment of contemplating. “I guess I can at least do that.” 

I sighed with relief, “Thank you, Ani.” 

He leaned in to give me a quick kiss. It was over before it even started, Anakin still wanting to keep his distance from me. But even these kisses felt rare, so I would take what I could get. 

I then watched him straighten out, stand up, and swiftly walk out the door to where R2 and 3PO were waiting. 

--Anakin’s POV-- 

More time had passed in the Lake Country, it honestly felt as if Padmé and I had grown closer than ever before despite being married already. I was hesitant at first, about being so attached to her after all that had happened with me. My morals changed, and I was utterly detached from the person I once was.

When I first fell for her, I knew I was blowing smoke up my ass about going through every loophole in the book about the Jedi code and how it views relationships. 

Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say that we are encouraged to love. What bullshit.

It was true in a way-- but it was mostly for her benefit. I wanted her to want me the way I wanted her. I knew what I was doing, I knew I had broken every Jedi code to be with Padmé. I loved her, plain and simple, it was as effortless as breathing. None of the “compassion is unconditional love” nonsense.

When we married in secret-- I knew it was one of the best decisions of my life, however one of the most difficult to live through. I knew it didn’t make Padmé happy in some cases, and when she told me she was pregnant of all things I felt like it would shatter. 

Yes it was a blessing, as I had told her, but I was mistaken if it turned my life into this. 

Still, though, I took care of her and all of her needs on Naboo during this time. It had been almost a month, and from the size of her I was willing to bet she was due any day now. 

Or ready to die any day now. I wanted to tear that little voice out of my brain.

Currently, I was setting up the baby’s room by the gardens, right where she told me she wanted it for what seemed like forever ago. Before Palpatine sunk his claws into me. The room itself was almost cottage like, older, but just as beautiful as the rest of the estate. 

Hammering the last of the base for the crib’s railing, I struck my fleshed hand, right on the thumb. 

“Agh!” I yelped in pain as Padmé came rushing in the door at the sound. 

She looked around as if she would find Palpatine himself in the damn room, “What happened?” She asked a little breathless. 

I held out the hammer and my already bruising thumb. “Hit it with the hammer.” 

She knelt down right in front of me, “Do you need to see a healer droid?” 

“Of course not, it’ll be fine.” I said, shaking my head. 

Padmé looked around the room nodding to herself. Her big brown eyes, the ones I would get lost in staring into for too long, darted to the newly built furniture and set up of the baby’s room.    

She insisted we could hire someone with droids to build the furniture, but I shot her down. Even if everything about me was shattered, however, this was not. Building things, fixing anything I could get my hands on. Sure it was not a droid I built from scratch, or an X-Wing engine, but it was something to keep my hands and mind busy. 

I had built and assembled all the furniture: the crib, dresser, bookshelf, even some tiny toys the baby would play with. 

If it would even survive , the back of my brain roared at me.

I started to pick up nails that were in a small pile from my work furiously to distract myself, not even caring about the searing pain on my thumb. Suddenly the only thing in my field of vision were both of Padmé’s hands over my own. 

“Calm…” She whispered in a voice that told me she knew what was happening inside my head. 

This had turned into a game of ours during our time here on Naboo. I would freak out, she would notice and pull me out of it. 

What a fucked up game. 

I turned my hands facing up towards my own and grabbed both of hers softly. “I’m fine, I’m not too far gone.” I used my robotic thumb, covered by my usual glove, to stroke her fingers. I always thought her hands were beautiful-- imagine how much more beautiful they would be if I could have gotten her a ring for our marriage. “The building helps, you know. Keeps my mind at ease.”

She locked her gaze down at our intertwined hands and her lips curved into a smile, “I figured as much, Ani. There was always something about the way your eyes lit up when you were younger when you were fixing something.” 

I couldn’t help but give a small smile of my own, remembering when I showed her I was in the process of making 3PO for the first time. Whether she was impressed or just trying to make conversation with a 9 year old slave I’d never know.

What I did know is that she liked it when I built things, “Thank you, Padmé, for letting me do all this.” I gestured with my head to the various built items around the room. 

“It helps you, huh?” She pressed on. 

I nodded and brought her knuckles to my lips to give them quick kisses. “Very much so.” I said. 

“Is your thumb okay, really?” She asked once more. 

I took her question as not really asking if I was okay enough, but more so as I needed to put down my work for now and spend time with my wife. After all, I had been in the baby’s room right at dawn and, judging by the sun in the window, it was just about to be evening. 

I stood up, bringing Padmé with me. “It’s fine, I promise. I just need to ice it all, I’ll even take a break the rest of the evening.”  

Her eyes lit up at the mention of me taking a break, “If you want to Ani.” She said hesitantly, but she was already dragging me out of the room. 

“Padmé, wait.” I stopped her in her tracks, “It’s still early, shall we eat in the meadow for dinner?” 

“I think that’s a great idea.” She gave my hand a squeeze, “We have plenty to eat, I’ll put some food in a basket and grab a blanket.” 

I nodded letting her go off to the kitchen. While she was occupied I went to the now shared room we took space in. Not her room anymore, but more so our room with how much she wanted me to sleep in there. 

When I entered the door 3PO was there standing next to the bed.

“3PO? What are you doing?” I asked my droid. 

He turned towards me in his slow way, “Master! Where is R2-D2?” 

I tilted my head to the side, confused. “R2? I’m not sure, maybe helping Padmé pack.” I suggested and tried striding away towards the bathing room, I needed to shower. 

“I’m worried,” He said and it stopped me dead in my tracks, “All he is repeating over and over are what seem to be coordinates.” 

I turned to look at the droid, “And you didn’t think to get me sooner?” 

I strode out of the room, not even waiting for 3PO to give me an answer. I half jogged and half walked to the kitchen where Padmé looked to be finishing packing the big basket full of food, plates, cups, and a blanket. 

“Anakin?” She noticed I looked to be in a hurry. 

“Where’s R2?” I asked panting ever so slightly. 

She gave me a tiny shrug, “He’s sitting on the other side of the fridge-- I can’t understand a thing he is saying though.” 

I strode to R2, he all but looked like he was short circuiting. The lights on the small droid were flashing, and the beeping R2 made was out of control. If I did listen hard enough, I could slightly understand that most definitely were coordinates. 

“Has he been doing this since you’ve been here?” I asked my wife as she looked bewildered about R2-D2’s weird behavior. 

“I believe so, it’s been nonstop since I started packing the basket.” 

C3PO arrived in the large kitchen as soon as Padmé finished her sentence, clanking his robotic feet on the tiled flooring. “Master Anakin, it’s coming from Tatooine.” He slowly walked his way next to R2. “Yes, R2, I know.” 

“What 3PO?” I demanded. 

“It’s coming from a recognizable source, Master Anakin.” 

I knew then and there it had to be Obi-wan. I knew then and there he was trying to track myself and Padmé down.

I couldn’t help it, I was too pissed off to care. I felt the anger rise within me, and reached towards R2-D2 to find his kill switch. 

As soon as my gloved hand landed on the button, Padmé shouted at me, “Anakin, stop!” 

“It’s Obi-wan.” I growled at her, “Did you give him our location?” 

“No!” She shook her head furiously and all but pushed me away from the droid. “You told me to wait, to give you time so I did.”

“Then how would he know?!” I could feel it, the hatred and anger I was feeding into the Force. Everything around us shook, paintings were flying off of the walls, the items on the kitchen counter tops flew off, some things shattering all around us. 

I panted hard and Padmé visibly shook. “You understand it wouldn’t be hard to track down a droid like R2.” She mumbled and looked down at the droid.

“Padmé he can’t come!” I screamed, “I don’t want him to ruin this. To ruin us!” 

“Ruin what? Us hiding here? For the last time he can help us!” Padmé rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, “Well, he knows now. It’ll take a few days for him to arrive on Naboo from Tatooine at least. Use this time to prepare yourself. You can either face him or run away like a coward. I’m tired of running, though.” 

Only she would argue with someone who turned to the Dark Side-- it’s one of the reasons I fell for her in the first place. That strong personality. But I thought about it; what was the harm? I could always just kill Obi-wan when he arrived, I was stronger, better than he was on so many levels.

I smirked to myself on this thought, to Padmé it wouldn’t look too out of place. I took a deep breath, “You… Maybe right, my love.” 

She took a hesitant step towards me, and another. One more and the tips of her shoes were touching my own boots, she placed a soft hand up against my cheek. “Calm, remember? You’re doing so much better about reining in your emotions.” 

I covered her hand upon my cheek with my own and nodded. “Well, you bring me back down.” 

“I always will, Ani.” She raised up on her tip toes to kiss me. 

I smiled into her waiting lips, they were soft as they were giving, always holding their own against mine. As I kissed her I plotted. As I kissed my beautiful wife, I knew what had to be done.

Padmé letting him come here would be his demise

I wouldn’t even be sorry for it. 

Chapter Text

--Anakin POV-- 

I locked myself in a make-shift workshop for two whole days.

I would never consider this action one that would be myself running away-- but let’s face it, I was doing exactly that. 

Padmé checked in on me now and then, bringing me food and making sure I was comfortable. She tried extending her companionship so I wouldn’t be alone, but I would send her away after I felt like it was enough. 

I needed to wrap my head around our situation, Obi-wan was coming. I knew without a doubt his only reason was to kill me, however Padmé kept insisting otherwise. ‘ He wants to help us’ she would drone on and on. 

Why would he choose to help me? I turned against the Jedi, helped in a genocide against them. I may have turned on Sidious-- Palpatine-- but I knew I wasn’t good. I surprised myself when I turned away from it all, but all I wanted when I saw Padmé on Mustafar was her. I saw the pain and anguish in her eyes, and it was enough to be with her. My love for her was stronger than anything else, Mustafar proved that.

And despite my nightmares, despite her dying… She was right to an extent. I would rather be what little remained of myself with what would be her last days, then go down a path that would make her roll in her grave.

So why would Obi-wan keep me alive when I had done irreversible  damage? 

Because he is like your brother, a father, he’s been with you ever since you were a boy. Becaus-- 

“Shut up!” I roared and used the Force to throw the closest object to me across the room. A few wrenches and screws I noted by the clanking metal.

My brain had a funny habit of invading my feelings, it was tiresome. I knew what was right, and I knew I would be sent to die unless I killed him first. The one thing that could get in my way was my loving wife.

“Anakin? I heard a noise, are you alright?” Right on cue Padmé made her way down the stairs to my work station. 

She saw wires and metallic parts scattered and covering just about every single inch of the bench in front of me. She made her way to my form, sitting on a stool, and stood in between my spread legs. Even sitting down, despite being on an elevated stool, I was close to her standing height. 

Automatically my hands rested on her hips, slightly tugging her to me. “I’m working down here.”

She placed a soft hand on my cheek, “Anakin, I don’t like this.” 

“I know you don’t, but isn’t this what you wanted? Working out my ever changing emotions instead of giving into them?” I cocked my head to the side, leaning into her hand. 

She nodded slightly, “I have hardly seen you the past two days.” 

I sighed, “Tell you what, I’ll put my work on hold for the rest of tonight. You’ll have me as long as you want.” 

She seemed to perk up, her tightly curled hair bouncing in place as she gave a silent cheer. She swooped in to give me a small peck and removed her hand from my cheek to instead grab my prosthetic one. “You promise, Ani?” 

I smiled-- one of the rare genuine ones that always seemed to be lacking-- “Let me clean this up, I’ll meet you upstairs.” 

She nodded, excitedly, and made her way back up the stairs. Really, what was the harm in this? I had a plan on the Obi-wan situation, I knew exactly how I could kill him without even Padmé knowing. It took some effort to think on this, but thankfully my skills with repairing and building droids would come in hand. All I had to do was shut down the tracker in R2. Obi-wan would already know where to find us-- not that it would have been hard to search for us in the first place, we did go to Naboo after all. It was obvious. 

However shutting that part down would most likely make it so my former master wouldn’t be able to communicate remotely with the droid. It would prevent R2 from even saying when Obi-wan would land. The only tricky part was the secrecy of it all. In theory, I had to program a way for R2 to only inform me of his arrival, not 3PO or Padmé, and make it so Padmé would be out of the equation when he landed on the planet. 

It sounded easy in my head, but actually programming R2 may prove difficult with wandering eyes. Perhaps Padmé’s sister would like to have a visit in the next day or so… And luckily tonight was most likely the perfect way to give that suggestion to my loving wife. 

When my mind was set, I too followed up the stairs to where Padmé lay on the wide black couch in the living area. She had a projection on-- some older film-- and she lazily acknowledged it. 

While I may have other intentions about the whole Obi-wan ordeal, she was still my wife. Still the girl I would love forever until her last breath. She was ethereal, so much so that no amount of words could describe her beauty. 

She wore a simple dress, doing nothing to conceal her stomach. In all honesty, I hated the fact she ever had to hide it in the first place. Her dress cascaded over her form reaching all the way down her long legs to just about the tops of her feet. Given that it was a pale purple color, it looked like a purple waterfall down her body with its sleek shine-- silk I’d imagine-- and different layers. The dress bore no straps or sleeves, given that would have been too much of a distraction from her soft brown hair. It flowed all around her, especially laying down on the sofa, in soft waves. She had a simple head band taming her bangs back making it look like she wore a crown of nothing but white pearls. 

“What is it? Why are you just standing there?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows. 

I shook my head, smiling, “I’m just admiring the beauty of my wife.” 

She motioned me to her with a wave of her hand, “Well, come here and get a closer look.” I almost missed what she said with the way she whispered it.

I strode to her form, still laying down, and when I got in front of her she scooted over to make room for me as well. I laid at the edge of the couch, it was wide, but definitely not wide enough for two forms, never mind the fact she was pregnant. 

Padmé snuggled into me automatically as if it were second nature, her head went into the crook of my neck and I could feel her inhale deeply before sighing. I gave a small shiver, I couldn’t explain it properly even if I wanted to, but some primal part of me in the back of my head was in absolute ecstasy over the fact she wanted me like this, no matter what. 

I pulled her into the circle of my arms and rested my chin on the top of her head, our legs intertwined naturally. We stayed like that, in the comfort of each other's presence. No words needed, just the sound of our breathing. I closed my eyes, perfectly content, when I felt Padmé’s arms fly down to her stomach. 

“What is it?” I mumbled and opened one eye to look at her.

She rubbed her belly, “The baby’s kicking.” 

I let my flesh hand drift down, down, until it was right next to her own. It felt like our child was throwing a fit with the way it kicked and kicked. I almost felt bad for Padmé dealing with it.

“I know I’ve said it before Padmé,” I paused to chuckle, “but definitely, with a kick that hard it has to be a girl.”

She laughed with me, “Maybe you’re right… Do you want it to be a girl?” 

I shrugged, “Honestly, I don’t care what it is. I just want you and the baby to be safe, Padmé. You know that.”

“I promise I will be.” 

“I’ve spent a lot of time arguing that point,” I leaned in to kiss her forehead, “maybe it’s time to trust you on that front.” 

She won’t make it. Neither will you with Obi-wan on his way…

I ignored the voice in my head, but Padmé, as intuitive as she was, knew it plagued my mind. She removed one of her hands on her stomach and reached it up till it was resting against my cheek. 

“Thank you, Ani.” And then she leaned in to kiss my lips. 

I didn’t care how much time passed, how many years or minutes we had left, nothing-- and I mean nothing-- would ever amaze me like kissing Padmé. Her lips were always so soft around my own, however, they were fierce just as mine were. There would always be this electricity that danced around us every time I had the pleasure of her lips against mine. And I knew it would never get tiresome, I knew I would always crave more. 

I almost cursed, as the kiss got more powerful, more all consuming, the more I wanted her. And I mean all of her. I groaned into her mouth when she parted her lips, all but begging me to place my tongue with her own.

I pulled away begrudgingly. 

“Anakin, why stop?” She all but groaned into my ear, trying to catch her breath. 

I shook my head, “Padmé, you know I want to. You know I would do anything to do that with you, right?” 

She nodded, letting me continue. 

“I just,” I paused to exhale heavily, “I want to be fully me when we do it. I don’t want to have any second guesses as to if I would hurt you or not.” 

“So… it’s not just because I’m so big now?” She questioned with a skeptical look. 

I growled and grabbed onto her waist to flip our positions so I was hovering over her small form, with her on her back. I caged her within my arms and looked down at her with what I figured to be a hungry expression. 

“Padmé, I’d be inside you right now, this very instant, if my thoughts didn’t prevent me. You are the most beautiful being in the galaxy, and you being pregnant with my child doubles that-- no triples your beauty for me.” I leaned down to kiss from her jaw, and kept going down, down, to her neck. I gave sloppy kisses on either side from there. I paused to look up at her through my lashes, “I just want you to have all of me. Not some Sith lord.” 

Not even to mention, she was heavily pregnant, she could be due in the next two months. 

I swear Padmé could read my mind, “I heard sex makes the birth easier ya know…” She trailed off and wrapped her arms around my neck for emphasis. 

I chuckled, unable to help myself, “You know I love you right?” And it was true, as much as I had changed, my love for her wouldn’t.

“I know,” she smiled and reached up to give me a small peck, “you wouldn’t be here otherwise.” 

I nodded into her kiss and pulled away again to only flip us back on our sides to embrace each other. Once she was cradled in my arms again, I gently stroked her shoulder up and down while she pulled herself into my chest. 

“When’s the last time you’ve seen your sister since we landed on Naboo?” I asked, bringing up the topic smoothly.

She shrugged, “Maybe a week ago? Why?” 

“With the baby coming close, I figured you’d like to spend time with her. Maybe she can help with any last minute preparations?” I suggested. 

“You know, I wouldn’t mind seeing my parents before the birth, my sister could accompany me.” She smiled and kissed the center of my chest.

I nodded, “I think that would be lovely, Padmé” 

This was perfect, If she visited her family it would be more than enough time to see Obi-wan’s death through. 3PO could accompany her, and that would leave me to shut R2’s tracker off without her questioning it. 

“I’ll have 3PO go with you my love.” I continued on. 

She flinched back and looked up at me, “Why would 3PO come with me?” 

“To at least help you travel to your sister?” I asked, confused. 

“No, Anakin. Why wouldn’t you be joining me?” she sounded hurt. 

Shit. 

This was not how it was supposed to go. 

--Padmé’s POV-- 

I was packing in my room-- our room-- when I heard 3PO’s metal feet clanking against the hardwood flooring approaching me. I had asked him to gather Anakin so I could spend time with him before I left.

“Miss Padmé, Master Anakin seemingly isn’t here.” He sounded worried.

I shook my head, “that’s okay 3PO he might be in the gardens. I'll get him in a minute.” He spent more time there of late, probably meditating, or trying too.

Once I finally closed the trunk of my suitcase I left 3PO’s presence and made way to my Ani. 

I was still hurt and confused as to why Anakin didn’t, more likely wouldn’t, come with me to visit my family, as far as I know they were all pretty supportive over Anakin. Especially my sister. When I had told her the news of why we were here she freaked out over the fact she was to be an aunt. She also exclaimed “I knew it!” a billion times about Anakin and I even being a thing. 

My parents found out way later, but still within the time we arrived on Naboo. My father suspected Anakin was a moth to a flame with me, he knew he was in love all those years ago. My mother was supportive as long as I was happy and safe. They didn’t appreciate not being in the loop, but how could they when I had become a senator after being queen? How could I tell anyone-- even those closest to me-- that a Jedi Knight was courting me, married me, and now I was having his child?

I understood their reasoning, I was just over the moon when they accepted my choice and Anakin. 

They didn’t need to know the “Almost Sith Lord” in question though, that would have been cataclysmic.

Upon reaching the garden terrace, I heard R2D2’s screaming. Instantly my heart sped up, it wasn’t the normal chirps and screams he made, no this was the equivalent to a droid screaming bloody murder almost.

I struggled to open the large double doors in front of me, it was jammed as if it had been locked from the inside. Each time I pushed the doors it wouldn’t budge. And there was so much I could do pregnant. 

I pounded on one side of the door with my fists, over and over “Ani! R2?!” I panted, “Are you okay?!”  

I heard Anakin grunt on the other side of the doors, “We’re fine Padmé, do not come in.” He shouted back, almost angry. 

Screw. That. 

If Anakin thought I wouldn’t try, he didn’t know me very well. I knew of one thing that may work-- it was hidden in my room. I ran to my quarters and immediately made a beeline to my dresser. There in the second drawer lay a blaster buried under simple clothes I hadn’t worn in ages. I had kept it hidden here since after the Clone Wars had started when I married Anakin here. 

I felt that it would make me safer when I was on Naboo, and judging my family used this palace too, I figured it would suffice for them as well. 

I booked it back to the locked room where I still heard Anakin struggling through the door, R2 still making horrid noises. I lifted the blaster with both my hands in front of me, and lifted it higher than my stomach, if there was any recoil it would hit my chest rather than the baby.

Finger on the trigger I fired it, making its signature pew sound it blew a hole where the door knob had been. I pushed on the door easily and it opened to reveal Anakin on his knees with various tools surrounding R2. 

“What happened?” I asked panting. 

He stood up slowly as if he were in shock, “Padme, you shot the door open?”

I shook my head, “You don’t get to ask questions, Anakin. Why was the door locked, why is R2 screeching? What are you doing?” 

“Listen, I can explain…” He walked over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, “R2 he… well he needed fixing, there was a chip malfunctioning.” 

I furrowed my brows, that didn’t seem right, he’s been fine and normal except for the… 

“The coordinates. Obi-wan..” I gasped “Please dear god tell me you didn’t press the kill switch, Anakin.”

He shook his head and flexed his jaw, “No, but I rewired him so he couldn’t be traced.”  

I shoved myself back so he wouldn’t touch me, “Are you serious ?” I all but shrieked at him, “He could have helped us Anakin!” 

All of the tools he used had gone flying into the walls around the room, and some over the balcony where the cliffs lay underneath them, dusted marble sprinkled down from the ceiling as the room shook around us. It was Anakin’s emotions around The Force.

“ Yes! I am serious! ” He shouted at me. “Padme, I had told you over and over that him coming here wouldn’t be good!” 

“Why not? Because he wants to help us, help you?” I threw my hands up in frustration, “Are you that prideful you don’t want his help, you don--” 

“I don’t want him to come, because I don’t want to kill him!” He yelled, and it felt like everything went silent.

“What?” I asked. 

Anakin stood there in the center of the room where R2-D2 lay on the ground and hung his head down, his fist clenching at his sides. “If he comes here, Padmé, I know I will kill him. It’s not even a want, but it is a need at this point. Like-- like I’m not in control of myself, of my body. It’s as if Palpatine sunk his claws into me so deep that it feels like if I don’t kill him, I won’t be able to move on. I won’t be able to find my peace and happiness. I don’t want to feel like this, I hate him, loathe him, and I can’t help that side of my nature.”

There was a pregnant pause, both by him and me. I sighed, “This Sith Lord is the one begging for you to do it?” And he knew I wasn’t referring to Palpatine. He knew I was referring to himself. 

He nodded so slowly, “Yes.” 

“This is why you wanted me to visit my family outside of the Lake Country? So you could kill him if he came here?

All he could do was nod, and within that I felt as if my chest was caving in. The Anakin I knew and love didn’t want to kill his former master-- however the Sith Lord that kept in the shadows of himself did. 

“I’m not leaving the Lake Country.” I spoke up after he went silent.

He snapped his head up so fast to meet my own eyes, blue orbs immediately crashing over me. “What?” 

“I’m staying here, by your side.” I sighed and stepped closer to him, ignoring the feeling in the pit of my stomach when he staggered back with one foot, “I’m not just going to sit back away from you while dealing with this on your own. I know you Anakin, I know you don’t want to kill Obi-wan.” 

He started to shake his head, “Padmé what happens if he comes and I do kill him? How will that affect you? The baby? What happens if something happens to you in the midst of everything?” 

“What? Like you would hurt me?” 

He said nothing as he stared at me, his jaw tightening slightly. 

I once again took a step to him, this time I didn’t stop until my shoes touched his own boots. I placed my hands gently on either side of his cheeks so I could hold his face in my hands. I wanted him to drown in my chocolate brown eyes the way I drowned in his blue.

“I don’t think you could,” I whispered. 

“Padmé, you don’t know what I could be capable of.” 

I gave him a tight lipped smile, “You’re right, but I can bet you wouldn’t harm me. Besides, you know I can handle myself.” 

He shook his head slightly in my hold, “You can handle yourself, I have no doubt. But what about the baby? What if something happens and the baby is--” 

“Anakin, please . Just please let me be with you, don’t push me away.” 

I could tell in his face that he knew two possible things, either he knew I would continue to argue this point, or that he knew I would get my way. 

“Go call your family,” he said with a defeated sigh. “The second anything happens I fully expect you to be smart. Whether or not Obi-wan comes, if I try to kill him, if I try to harm anything around me, I expect you to just be smart.”

I nodded, “I can agree to that, but you know I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you don’t have any more blood on your hands. I know you don’t want this dark lord consuming you, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t have left it all behind for me, for us.” 

I tried to sound hopeful, but in reality I had no idea where his head was at, what he really wanted. 

I just hoped that he would choose the right thing. 

--Obi-Wan-- 

Obi-Wan Kenobi was a man of many things: smart as a whip, skilled with a lightsaber, witty. Not to brag but the list continued. What he never said too often within that list was that he was a coward. 

Obi-Wan was cowardly in terms of his former padawan, his former brother. He never wanted to kill Anakin Skywalker, he never wanted him to turn to the Dark Side-- he was the chosen one. What had happened to him, was it really all Palpatine? Obi-Wan wasn’t sure. 

The situation with Padmé could have been avoided, Obi-Wan would have done everything in his power to protect the two. Yet Anakin never gave him the opportunity to help him-- damn Anakin and his pride. It truly was a downfall. 

He was shocked when he arrived on Mustafar to an empty fortress. Anakin’s ship was long gone despite knowing he flew there, and no one had seen Senator Amidala in days. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together that Anakin and her had run off. Obi-Wan considered this a good thing, that while a Sith Lord was on the brink of Anakin’s existence, Anakin cared enough for Padmé to leave with her.

So here was Obi-Wan, one of the last remaining Jedi hurtling through space to get to Naboo. Tracing R2-D2 wasn’t a difficult feat, but when he lost communication with the droid he knew something was up, he knew something was brewing and it wasn’t going to be a cake walk. 

He would land in the Lake Country of Naboo in a few hours, he would see Padmé and Anakin. 

And he would refuse to kill his brother.