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1. June 27th 2015
Visiting each other is a thing which friends usually do.
When Otabek suggests coming to St Petersburg, Yuri is not sure what to think about it. It's the end of June, low-season and summer holidays. He doesn't have much more to do. His concern was caused by one fact: he never had any friends. His life was a mix of training and learning with occasional meetings with his Grandpa. He didn't have time for friendships and was focused on his career, nothing else. Since he attended online school, he also didn't have classmates. There was Mila, his rinkmate, but their conversations were mostly about the sport (or hokey players because of Mila's flirtatious nature) and they haven't interacted outside the rink too often.
Otabek was different - calm and quiet at first, although he opened up after some time. His presence truly made Yuri feel at ease, forgetting about all the sadness and pain in his heart. Yuri cheered for him at the Four Continents and even gave up training for these days only to be present in Seoul in person. They spent some time together after competition, however Yuri had to be back for his own training as soon as possible. Even if being friends with Otabek seemed easy, Yuri always had some weird kind of fear hidden inside of his head.
Yuri was afraid of being abandoned since the age of four, when his mother did it.
This irrational idea has been tied to him for all this time. Maybe that's why he never befriended anyone - he was too scared. What if he does something wrong and ruins everything? What if Otabek decided to leave him? What if one day he woke up and was alone again?
He remembers it vividly - his mother kissing his forehead and petting his bowl-like cut hair. She smiled, let go of his hand and left the house like she did everyday. The difference was that she never came back. At first, Yuri would cry and scream, not being able to understand his mother's choice. After a few months his tears would eventually dry, leaving an unhealed wound. Now, he was still angry with his mother and even furious when she sends him birthday cards. Why pretending to care, if it's obvious she does not?
So he agrees on Otabek's idea with a mess occupying his mind.
Yuri's uncertain. Once he regrets his decision, the other time he can't stop but imagine how many places he's going to show Otabek: his first ice rink, his former school and the flat where his aunt used to live before she packed her family overnight and moved to United Kingdom.
His friend arrives on a Saturday evening. Their handshake generates echoing sound travelling through the airport in waves. Nikolai offered to give them a ride back home, he was intrigued by the silhouette of young man who calmed down his grandson's attitude. Actually, Nikolai wasn't enthusiastic about Otabek at first. When he saw him in a photo from Barcelona, he seemed like a shady man involved in some kind of illegal activities, though when he realised how much joy that Kazakh teenager brings Yuri, his doubts and concerns disappeared. Nikolai trusts his grandson and believes he wouldn't get close to anybody with suspicious background.
Otabek wins over Mr Plisetsky, mainly because of his polite language and foreign accent.
After the season, Yuri could leave Lilia's house and return to his own. He did. It was great to feel free again, just a little bit - after his training (that wasn't as long as for previous months) they would watch old soviet movies or talk about "crazy old times" as dedushka called them.
House was big enough to spare Otabek from sleeping on a couch and give him some personal space. The guest room remained empty for over a decade. It had belonged to Yuri's mother back then, when she was present in his life. For some time he hated this place, he even felt sick while passing by its door. It has changed when he was ten, maybe eleven. He opened the door and stared into the space for a while. Perfectly made bed, with his mother's favourite blanket on top, a mirror in the corner with dust covering its surface. Grandpa had to visit this room and tidy it up - it was impossible for a room to be in this condition after all that time.
Months later, they decided to renew it. It was a fantastic idea to spend the summer holiday for Yuri. He enjoyed painting the walls (he covered olive coloured wallpaper with beige paint, as if he got rid of emotions tied to his mother's bedroom) and assembling the furniture. He took after his gradfather's handyman tendencies. After some time the guest room stopped reminding its former self completely. All of the pain located somewhere between floor tiles washed away.
As they enter the house, Otabek doesn't even have time to take his shoes off - Potya nuzzles against his ankle purring softy, as if she sends others a message: he is mine now. Nikolai invites them to dining room and serves a late supper. Both boys are tired - Otabek: because of his travel and Yuri, because of his ballet class this morning. Yuri leads his friend to the guest room after explaining where is the bathroom, which towels to use and where are some snacks to grab if he gets hungry at night.
"Night, Beka." Yuri smiles as he leaves the room.
There is a big, fancy lamp on Otabek's nightstand, warm rays of light spread across the room. Yuri looks at his friend in awe for a brief moment, ten gets his thoughts together (mostly).
"Sleep well, Yura" he hears just before a little click of the door handle.
He tosses and turns in his bed. The pillow is rock-hard, his covers feel like a cage on his fragile body. Hot air rises around him and he shifts once again. Every position feels the same - like he is a body packed carelessly in a plastic bag and then thrown into the Lena River.
Yuri falls asleep with a Twitter thread open on his phone. The one about every public video of Otabek as a novice skater.
2. April 4th 2016
They enter Otabek's hotel room a few minutes before four a.m. Worlds banquet turned into a wild party pretty quickly. They danced until their limbs felt stiff and numb. Having fun was in the first place, and the consequences weren't even second. Both in a good condition, yet feeling completely drunk from mixed smell of heavy perfumes and variety of alcohol covering the tables. Otabek had just a few shots (three, four maybe), but eventually put away his overall calm facade and hit the dance floor like a professional. Photos are already trending in the internet, but they don't mind now.
"So, how was it?" Otabek has a sour expression painted on his face.
"What do you mean?" Yuri's question is deprived of any sarcasm (which is rare), but it sounds ironic. That's not how he wants to be perceived. "Like, for real."
As a response, Otabek sighs and somehow he looks even more upset than before. "About him holding you like a... call girl. I don't know, God, it was disgusting anyways."
"C'mon, Beka." Now, Yuri is the one who sighs. "He does that with everyone."
"If he grabbed everyone's ass like that he would be sentenced a few times already." Otabek looks at his friend with some odd mix of sadness, fury and disbelief filling his eyes. "Or maybe that's okay with you." He hisses.
"Fuck, Beka." Yuri huffs and his sarcastic smile crawls on his lips. "That damn vodka really does kick fucking hard, doesn't it?"
They don't say anything for a while. Otabek avoids Yuri's deathly stare and runs away to take a cold shower.
Yuri falls on Otabek's king sized bed and lets out a heavy sigh. He's tired: his legs burning more than after an energetic free skate, his head nearly explodes with thoughts. Chris tries to seduce everyone, no matter how old they are, what's their gender or what are their preferences. No, Chris wants to fuck everything that moves, and possibly even beyond that. But Chris hangs out with Viktor, and Viktor is like a Yuri's shadow, so lack of his private space is not that unfamiliar and doesn't feel so much out of place like it does for Otabek. Yuri can't blame him for his rage, that's for sure. Beka just wants him to be safe and comfortable and now he just let out the pressure that had been crushing him since the beginning of the season. Still, it feels wrong. He could've punch something (like Viktor's perfectly symmetrical yet ugly face) to get rid of the bad energy or do it on the dance floor (he did get rid of energy, but not of emotions). Guilt sits in his throat and he suddenly feels like it is impossible to swallow the tears. He looks at his reflection in the mirror next to the door. His hair resembles haystack rather than actual hair and he's red and puffy all over his face. He quickly states he looks like shit. Having no better idea, Yuri searches through the content of his suitcase for the shorts that are a part of his pyjamas.
(Actually, it's the only part of that pyjamas. He bought it in the children section, because nobody makes adult sleepwear with cartoonish lions and tigers. The t-shirt turned out to be way too fitted and made him unable to raise his hands, so he simply didn't use it.)
Yuri hears water running in the shower. Otabek's presence is almost as crushing as his own mind.
He leaves the room for his night dose of tea. Hot water dispensers are located on the first floor of his hotel. He meets Pichit on his way back and has a few words with him but the cup is burning his hand and he wishes he could just put it aside. When he re-enters the room, Otabek is still in the bathroom. Yuri fights with his mind, but loses.
"You haven't drowned in that shower, have you?" He asks after knocking on the door.
"Unfortunately for you" Yuri feels relieved when his friend replies, even if it's a rather sarcastic response. "I haven't, I'm still happy and healthy."
"I'm very fortunate, then." Yuri says, but hopes that Otabek doesn't hear it.
Sleep takes control over his mind and fills it with fog, so he simply lays on the bed and closes his heavy eyes. Meanwhile, his friend gets out of the shower with an accidental slam of the bathroom door.
"Are you for real? I just wanna sleep." Yuri's voice is already dreamy, almost unconscious.
Otabek doesn't mind his best friend lying in his bed. Although, he does mind his best friend is lying in his bed horizontally.
"Yura, move, please." He whispers as prevously held grudge evaporates.
But Yuri doesn't hear it anymore.
3. August 14th 2017
Yuri is waiting for incoming call. It's eight p.m. - their time to talk. It's been established since the end of the season. They have a video call every second day, always the same time. Yuri grins to his laptop with excitement. Everything about Otabek is so exciting. He is kicking his feet like a child on a swing and, actually, he feels like it. Maybe it's stupid - he's not twelve anymore. He's eighteen, actually. And he's pretty certainly too old for that kind of stuff.
It's not like he cares.
A red line appears on the screen and he clicks on it before his brain has any time to process it. A dotted circle moves on a blur that might be Otabek's room, but it disappears quickly, leaving Yuri with a clear vision of his best friend. A smile crawls on his lips.
„Perfectly on time." Yuri compliments, taking his tea from the bedside table. He spills some on his cushion, then mutters out an unholy amount of curses.
„As always." Otabek responds with a smirk. „Quad lutz, right?"
Yuri smiles instantly and starts rambling about his new weapon. He spent years trying to get it and now... he became quite consistent with the hardest doable skill in his discipline. It's gotta gain him some points at the Olympics. It has to. He's going to push Victor's pig to retirement.
Otabek just looks at him softy, listening carefully to his words but also admiring younger boy's beauty.
„...And then I beat Katsudon's fat ass, and the pretty one of yours." Yuri summarises, then realises the meaning behind his words. „And Chris's one, loose from being visited by too many men." He ads to distract Otabek. „So, yeah. That's my way of getting gold and the fucking slam."
He panics, for sure, his hands cover with sweat and face burns. He sends silent pleas to his lamp: turn off, turn off. His red cheeks must stay in secret. Unfortunately, the light highlights the colour of his face, so he pretends to fix his hair. Anything that can help him even a bit is needed.
„Oh my God, Yura, that was unnecessary, to say at least." Kazakh hides his face in his hands but lets out a small laugh.
So it worked out. Yuri sighs with relief.
They speculate about Chris's bodycount, talk about Victor's ex that Yuri had met a few years ago, about Yakov and Lilia getting back together and many, many other gossips.
„Do you think it would be okay if I visited you? Just for a few days, if you want." Eyes half-closed, Yuri talks softly to the speaker (or where he supposes it is, damn laptop).
„Of course." Otabek's wide grin is undeniable. Yuri doesn't see it, half of his face is pressed into the pillow. „You can stay however long you like."
„Good, 'cause I've booked a flight for tomorrow." He adds with a sleepy voice.
„You should rest, then." Otabek shifts in his bed, plugs his phone into the charger and rests his head on his arm.
„I'm not tired." A firm words come out of Yuri's mouth.
„If you say so."
It's a matter of ten minutes and Yuri is sleeping soundly. Otabek looks at him with pure joy for a moment before he touches the red headphone.
4. April 30th 2018
They are both invited to skating event in Dallas. Otabek is the one responsible for booking the hotel rooms, so he made sure they share one. (Later he tells Yuri that it was the only available option.) They end up in a spacious apartment with their own kitchenette and 40-inch TV. There are also two double beds placed on opposite ends of the room. As they enter, Yuri immediately jumps on the one closer the window in order to appropriate it.
„I'm considering switching Rainmaker to Madness. It's fan favourite." He confesses, playing with his hair (they're longer than he'd like them, but, unfortunately, he has an appointment in a couple of days.)
Welcome to the Madness - probably the most popular of Yuri's routines (well, maybe a little less known than his worlds free skate from the previous season that gave him gold). It's fame came from Tumblr (mostly) and Yuri's Angels's fangirl-fever. The amount of posts per hour was... impressive. Speculations and theories went wild. That was Yuri's main goal - to promote not only himself, but also his best friend. He always thought Otabek was underrated. Since the older boy wasn't so enthusiastic about social media, his Instagram profile looked... empty. No bio, no profile picture, just three posts: Junior Grand Prix, one Grand Prix Final and worlds. Yuri - as a self-certified social media enjoyer - was horrified. After quick makeover of Otabek's account, it was time for advertising. Everything went according to plan. Otabek gained a few thousands of followers in just days. It was obvious this change would work out perfectly for both of them.
Otabek agrees on the freshly introduced idea without further thinking.
They spend some time on Yuri's bed, uploading new stories and scrolling through Twitter. Actually, Yuri is doing all of that and Otabek just watches, lying a few inches away. (He doesn't want to admit it, but his neck hurts like hell and it would be so nice to lay on Yuri's shoulder... He just can't let his guard down. Not yet.)
Jet lag hits them both and Otabek is the first one to lose his fight with sleep. He gets into his bed after a quick shower and his steady breathing is heard in less than five minutes. Yuri looks at his naked back and gets anxious. His palms cover in sweat as the image of tan skin and visible muscles sink in his mind. He would love to slide his hand over Otabek's spine, but he's to far away. Physically and emotionally. And he's not a weirdo to touch a sleeping person. Yuri shakes his head as if he wanted to get rid of his racing thoughts. It isn't working.
He grabs his phone (again) and melts his frustration by watching cute kitten videos. He sees an adorable reel on Instagram with two cats: black one and white one with orange spots, curled together in a ball. Apparently, Otabek turned out to be cat lover as well, so Yuri sends the reel to him as a result of muscle memory.
Still, Yuri feels like it changed nothing.
He heads to the bathroom, then steps into the shower. He waits until the running water turns hot. Otabek left his cosmetics on the little tiled shelf in the wall. Yuri's hands are wet already, so he's unable to unwrap the foil off hotel's body wash miniature. He grabs Beka's one, instead. Maybe it's the hot water or familiar smell of shower gel, but Yuri feels calmer now. When he gets under the duvet, he almost immediately falls asleep.
(The next morning his phone buzzes: „Us" - it's Otabek's reply to the reel he has sent. Yuri remains asleep, but when he reads new notifications in the afternoon, the only sign of Otabek's response is simple „message unsent")
5. June 15th 2018
„I'll rip that bitch open, sell her guts and run far away thanks to this money." Yuri shuts the door behind him.
It's about Mila, who posted a secretly taken photo of Otabek and Yuri on her Instagram story. It wouldn't be that infuriating if not two factors: one - they were giving each other a hug (not a hug-hug, but the one shared by men after a handshake when they want to congratulate themselves or something), two - she adds a ridiculous caption: lovebirds.
Since Otabek moved to St Petersburg in order to train with his new coach, he spends most of his free time in Yuri's home. He even stayed overnight two or three times, when it was too late to travel through the city (it wasn't a problem, but an excuse for staying with Yuri a little longer). Now, he is sitting on Yuri's bed as its owner stands two feet away from door, rapidly tapping his phone.
„It's just for close friends, it's not that bad." Otabek tries to calm him down, yet he himself is also slightly annoyed by Mila's actions.
„She has over three fucking hundreds of people there." Yuri's words make Otabek's eyes wider. „You're gonna be my alibi for the time I'm decapitating her."
Yuri throws his phone on the bed, barely missing his friend's foot. He then takes off his sweatshirt and throws it into the corner (he suffered from cold earlier this week and grandpa made him wear warm clothes to „sweat out the illness"). Potya claims it as her new bed before he even has time to blink. Her eyes are now closed and soft purr fills the room.
„Maybe I can help?" Otabek proposes. „Talk to her or something."
„You may try but she's stubborn as hell. And she'll love your attention." Says Yuri as he jumps on the bed next to his friend. „You won't even notice and boom-" Younger boy rapidly spreads his hands to imitate the explosion. „She has a huge-ass crush on you"
„Doesn't she have a crush on me for like... a few years now?" Otabek lifts his eyebrow while fighting with a ironic smirk.
„Her love stories never end." Yuri shrugs his shoulders. „She's probably in love with like... five guys now. And fucking with two others."
That's true - Mila never resigns from her ideas, no matter how absurd they are. She also loves attention (from men, of course) and would do anything for it. Actually, she proved it many times. For example: six or seven years ago, when she was barely a teenager, she had a crush on the club's medic. She understood the fact that he would never interact with her just because, so she intentionally fell while training.
Sadly for her, he was on sick leave that day.
Yuri doesn't want to clearly oppose Otabek's idea, however he feels uneasy while imagining his best friend talking Mila, who loves boy-toys more than anything else. He gets nervous but (for the first time in his life, probably) doesn't want to show it. He simply shifts closer to Otabek and looks at his phone. Otabek is messaging his PR manager. Shit, it's bad. He closes his eyes, feeling as if he disturbed older boy's privacy.
„Would it work if you... I don't know, called her and told her to delete it?" Otabek tries to come up with solution. „And you would say I want it to be deleted, too? She does not care about your opinion but there is a slight chance she cares about mine."
Yuri agrees. The exact moment Mila answers his call, he hears her hysterical laugh: „I added just you and Beka to close friends today to piss you off! You really think you would get away with ruining my chances with Alyosha?!"
Fuck.
Alyosha, the guy Mila met at the hockey game and went with him on a date. Yuri had no idea he was standing few meters behind them as he called Mila „horny bitch" and pointed out her attitude towards relationships. Well, Alyosha didn't really want to have anything common with her anymore.
„You dirty slut, earlier I wanted to kill you, but now I want to cut you in pieces and dissolve in fucking acid!" Yuri shouts as he hangs up. „We were the only ones who saw it, sorry for bothering your manager, though." He adds, slowly calming down.
Otabek raises his eyebrows: „Oh, I asked him if it would be alright if I got a tattoo."
Oh.
That makes sense. Otabek mentioned the idea of having a tattoo a few times before. If he plans to make it in a visible place, then it's reasonable for him to contact his staff. Yuri apologises but still is surprised by the fact his friend didn't mind him peeking at his conversation.
"Wanna stay for the night?" He offers.
Otabek seems enthusiastic about the proposition, so he grabs his stuff from Yuri's wardrobe (he's basically living here by now) and takes a bath. Yuri is waiting for him in his bedroom, already looking up something interesting to watch. Otabek comes back smelling like almond and mint and that absolutely deprives Yuri of the ability to think straight.
It's June - nights are getting hotter and hotter. AC barely makes any difference since it had seen better days. Yuri decides to sleep without his t-shirt and Otabek follows quickly. The sudden drop of temperature works wonders and Kazakh falls asleep shortly after. Yuri can hear his heart pounding. No, no pounding. It's more like rumble. Like it exploded in a milion pieces of stone and fell of a cliff. It's hard for Yuri to resist the urge to touch Otabek's skin. His body glows from the laptop screen and city lights flashing through the window. His muscles are well visible now, shining as if he was made of steel. Yuri can't resist it anymore and slides his fingers on his friend's arm. He flinches as Otabek sighs and turns on his side, facing the other boy. Yuri is staring at his guest's face for a moment, then touches his cheek and slides down to his neck. It feels so wrong yet so pleasing. Yuri huffs and shifts so now he's gazing into the ceiling. His heart is still racing, he can now feel it as if it was trying to jump out of his chest. It gets even worse, because Otabek throws his arm around Yuri and pulls him closer. That is unexpected - to say at least - and Yuri wants to die right now. Is it terrifying? Yes. Is it his dream? Also yes.
He doesn't think much of it as sleep gets him into its phantom state.
+ 1. December 9th 2018
It's warm. No, it's hot. It's also comfortable and soft. Yuri figures out he's under the duvet. His left foot is uncovered and he feels relieved when he realises it's not the middle of the night so no monster will drag him away. There is also something heavy placed across his chest, however the sensation is rather nice, though he can feel it moving as he breaths. Yuri tries to pull the duvet over his head but it resists, as if it was held by something. It's Potya, surely.
Wait-
Yuri turns on his side haphazardly just to see a image taken straight out from his dreams.
Otabek is there, sleeping right next to him with one of his arms around Yuri and the other one under his own head. Their legs are tangled together and even if Yuri tried really hard to get out, it would be impossible. Good thing, he doesn't.
Actually, he wants to stay like this forever.
He subtly touches Otabek's cheekbone, high and sharp, his fingers slowly moving to older boy's nose, then lips, then jawline. His tan skin contrasting with Yuri's almost-white hand. He's getting addicted to tracing Beka's features like that. It's hard to believe he's got to experience Otabek's affection and love for two weeks now. It is still as magical and exciting as in their first days of romantic relationship.
The next move seems to be too dynamic and Otabek opens his eyes. He blinks in slow motion at first, then growls and shifts even closer to Yuri, snuggling up to his chest.
"Please, tell me it's not past 10 a.m." Otabek muffles into Yuri's bare skin.
So he stretches his arm and looks at Beka's phone, then makes a horrifying discovery- it's not past 10 a.m. but 12.
"Damn, Beka." He hisses as his eyes go wide. "It's fucking late."
They jump out of the bed as if the mattress was made of pure fire. Otabek searches for his clothes while Yuri runs to the bathroom. Damn it, they're going to be late. Everything is made in a hurry, so Yuri discovers that he is wearing two different socks and Otabek's shirt is missing a button. They don't have time for fixing it.
"I'm never letting you plug my phone ever again." Yuri exclaims as they get into taxi.
"I was sure it was charging!"
"Sure, my ass. Now he's gonna wait for us." Dynamic gestures of Yuri's hands fill the backseat. "Fucking fantastic."
Otabek's flat is located in the southern part of the city, so they arrive ten minutes late. Potya welcomes them as if they haven't seen each other in years. She's overly dramatic, because Yuri was gone just for one night. He even filled her bowl before leaving for training, which he usually doesn't have time for.
„Sorry we made you wait, Mister." Otabek apologises right after greeting Yuri's grandfather.
„My child..." Nikolai giggles softly. „Drop this formality already. We're family. Call me by my name or however you'd like, just don't refer to me as to stranger." There's this warmth in older man's voice and it fills Otabek with tranquility and joy.
„Sure, grandpa." He replies, returning the smile.
They sit at the table and start eating. The reason of visit feels like a stone in Yuri's stomach. At first, he tries to replace it with food, but the result is not satisfying enough. He concludes it's time to face the challenge.
„You see, grandpa..." Yuri anxiously plays with his fingers under the table. „We wanted to tell you something."
Silence fills the dining room, only Otabek's heavy breathing and Potya's occasional meows disturb it. It's now or never.
„We're dating." Yuri finally says. The weight partially leaves his heart. „Like, we're together." He describes to avoid misunderstandings.
Now, the only thing they can do is pray Nikolai won't be mad and accept them. The silence is back and the tension grows. Nikolai doesn't seem like he understands what is happening, like Yuri has just said something utterly pointless and incomprehensible. Both boys freeze in terror. That's their worst fear - ruining their precious relationship with Nikolai. It has been built for years (in Yuri's case - for the entirety of his life). It cannot just end like this now, not when they're finally going the right track.
Then, out of the blue, Nikolai bursts in laughter. Genuine and sincere one.
Yuri and Otabek send each other a confused stare.
"Weren't you two a couple for years now?" Finally, Nikolai speaks. "Don't get me wrong, boys, I'm so happy for you. But.. I was certain you were dating for quite some time now."
All of the anxiety and near-stroke state leaves two bodies, connected to each other by a pair of intertwined fingers under the table. Yuri's sight of relief makes Nikolai laugh a little more.
"My children, do you think I could ever stop loving you?" Grandpa asks as he walks towards them. They all get up from their seats and hug in a warm embrace initiated by the older man.
Yuri feels safe. There's nothing worrying him now. Everything is at its destined place. This is not Yuri's entire world: this career, skating, even Viktor or his disgusting lover are an undetachable parts of it. What is more important is the fact, that those two people in his arms are the reason his whole world is spinning at all.
(As Yuri loads plates into the dishwasher, Nikolai adds:
"I was sure you came here to tell me you're engaged.")