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    Summary

    It's hard, loving someone who wasn't willing to accept your love while alive, and who isn't here to accept it while dead.

     

    Before leaving Fujioka Memorial High School for good, Hiroaki Nakamigawa decides to check Hasegawa Ken's room for personal belongings. He finds something that sheds some much-needed light on the blackened's inner world. Or, rather, what was left of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,523
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    219
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    1,616
  2. 10 Apr 2026

    Rec

  3. 23 Mar 2026

    Public Bookmark

    Bookmark Notes:

    And now, when you brought color back to my sight, when you turned these gray memories bright with your presence, I just can’t go back to the way I used to be. Not when I now know what being with you feels like. Not when I’ve felt the warmth of your hand, your presence, your existence, Kazutoshi. I’m going insane, and I cannot blame you for doing it to me.

     

    He is so depressed and codependant god save him
    Loving ur husby, and being crushed by his death is reasonable, but being so unsatisfied with how your life is miserable and depressing and you want to die without him is like.
    U cant let ur boy define everything about your existance.

    Could Kazutoshi ever reject Ken when he's this posessive?
    I need a hasemura rejection fic, actually how would Ken feel if Kazutoshi fell in love with some other boy or so?

    I don't know. I wish I could say he'd be alright with it, because the love of his life is happy, or I wish I could see him seethe and be jealous. I don't know. I'm sorry if my view of love is shallow, it's only this way, because my honest view of love consists of such overwhelming attachment I myself have plunged into depression without him

    If you can't let go who you love, then you don't care for them.

    I feel like id go easy on Ken considering his lover isnt simply gone, he's dead and seeing him in that state is both sure to break a man and he's in a killing game and his fucked up mental is explainable.

    He cares so much it killed him then too

     

    //Maybe I just can’t cope with the fact that you died right when you wanted to live the most.

    It’s selfish, and cruel, and self-centered of me to say, but I miss you. I miss you so damn much. I wish we had at least another minute to spend together. Then I could finally tell you how much you actually matter to me.

    It’s not what you would have wanted, probably. But it’s what I want. And I hate myself for it.//

    Yeah no, he's so selfless it's tearing him inside out.
    This Hurts to read oh my god what have they done to him oh god

  4. 25 Jan 2026

    Rec

  5. 04 Jan 2026

    Public Bookmark

  6. 21 Nov 2025

    Public Bookmark

  7. 16 Nov 2025

    Public Bookmark

  8. 15 Nov 2025

    Rec

  9. 08 Nov 2025

    Public Bookmark

  10. 03 Nov 2025

    Public Bookmark

  11. 25 Oct 2025

    Public Bookmark

    Bookmark Notes:

    STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM ACTUALLY BAWLING

    This is so so peak

  12. 19 Oct 2025

    Public Bookmark

  13. 16 Oct 2025

    Public Bookmark

    Bookmark Notes:

    saddestshit ive ever read

  14. 10 Oct 2025

    Public Bookmark

  15. 05 Oct 2025

    Public Bookmark

  16. 05 Oct 2025

    Public Bookmark

  17. 24 Sep 2025

    Public Bookmark

  18. 23 Sep 2025

    Public Bookmark

  19. 18 Sep 2025

    Public Bookmark

  20. 14 Sep 2025

    Public Bookmark

  21. 14 Sep 2025

    Public Bookmark

    Bookmark Notes:

    OW OMG.

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