Chapter Text
It had been a while since the thought of having children had crossed Oscar's mind. After all, he was only twenty-four and a Formula One driver; and a pretty good one seeing as he was leading the world championship. So, when he found himself sitting in the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test in his hand, he could only think "well.. shit". He had been sick almost every morning for the past week or so; something that very much screamed "pregnant" to him. So, with all the courage he could gather, he went to the pharmacy as soon as it opened and took the test, anticipating the results.
Two lines.. pregnant.
To say Oscar was freaking out would be the understatement of the year. Known anxious and with a side of PTSD, Oscar was good at pretending to be fine whilst falling apart. His body was working in slow-motion. Walking felt like he was stuck in molasses. His breath fell short and cold sweat was already wetting his shirt. His only thought: "I have to get to Max".
Oscar and Max met when Oscar was still racing in F2. At the time, Oscar was in a long-term relationship with another man. An older man that used to train him when he was karting in Britain. His name was Joshua and he was already 28 when he met Oscar who was only 14. They dated in secret for the first four years, until Oscar was 18 and then announced it before moving in together almost immediately. Oscar's family were unsure of this man at first, trying to convince their son that the age different was just too much, but they stopped trying when Oscar stopped responding to their texts and calls. They were afraid of losing him over it, being so far away in Australia with no way of contacting him. As for Oscar, he was in love. He couldn't see that this relationship was not right, that he had been groomed. Gosh, that was a word that still made him cringe as much as the first time his therapist said it. It was good for a while between him and Joshua. Sure, the older man was pretty possessive (or protective as he lead Oscar to believe) and would not allow the Aussie to have close friends as it would only be a distraction to their love. Oscar felt cared for, he felt protected. But eventually the abuse came. It started with small remarks on how he was just a bit too fat to be pretty and how smiling with his teeth showing made him look too much like a bunny; it looked stupid. So, Oscar ate less and started working out more, and he stopped smiling. Then it was about how much of a nerd he sounded when he talked and how he should learn how to be a proper homemaker. So, he stopped talking and spent his little time off cleaning and learning how to be a good cook, cooking food for his boyfriend that he would not allow himself to eat.
One day it became more. Joshua had a bad day or something, Oscar would never know, and he snapped when Oscar came home late from a race weekend. He was in Formula Renault at the time and had just won the race in Hungary. His flight back home had been delayed so he sent a quick text to Joshua to let him know he would be home quite late but Joshua had never seen the text. He snapped hard. Oscar was left with a bruise on his left cheek and on his right hip from receiving a punch and falling afterwards. Oscar had cried all night long wondering what he did to deserve this. His biggest fear was not being good enough for Joshua. Of course the older man apologized the next day, blaming a bad day and Oscar's actions and swearing to never do it again. And, Oscar had believed him because they were in love after all. He lied to everyone, explaining that he ran into a door and fell, saying that he's just clumsy sometimes. People seemed to believe him, mostly because no one knew him well enough to know that Oscar is not a clumsy person. But, that became his persona; the clumsy guy that always falls and gets hurt.
Eventually the sexual abuse also came although Oscar tries not to think about it too much. Much less after freaking out the first time he had an intimate relation with Max.
Nobody knows how or why Oscar got out of this mess of a relationship, only that it was in 2022, when he was a reserve driver at Alpine and suddenly showed up at his family's house in Melbourne a crying mess and told his mum everything. Nicole was devastated, understandably so. She tried to ask what had happened that made him leave so suddenly but was left with no answers. After all, she was just glad to have her son alive with her.
Oscar and Max met in 2021 when Joshua was still in the picture. Every time they saw each other was around the paddock, when both would be racing. It started with congratulations from Max, comments here on how impressing the F2 rookie was and eventually Max invited him to lunch. To tell the truth, Max had felt something for Oscar the moment he had seen him. He felt drawn to him in a way he had never felt before. His shy smile that you only got to see very rarely, and his freckles doting his pretty little face. Oh how Max nearly lost it when he saw Oscar on the podium in Jeddah after a sweaty race. Max knew that Oscar had a boyfriend but he never seemed to be around. Oscar blamed it on his busy schedule and Formula 2 races not being that important anyways. Oscar really had a way of undermining himself and all Max wanted to do is praise him and fill him with confidence.
As for Oscar, he was overjoyed to have been noticed by THE Max Verstappen. He enjoyed their talks and lunches together and even wondered if he felt something for the man. But, as soon as the thought came, he was filled with guilt. He loved Joshua after all. He never told his boyfriend about Max, knowing friends were off the table for him and he tried to distance himself from Max for a while but he always seemed to find himself in the presence of the other. Max was the only one he could talk to almost freely.
But Max started noticing things. It was weird enough that Oscar's boyfriend was never at races but Oscar also never talked about him too much, only answering with simple answers and saying how much he loved him, almost as to convince himself. Oscar lacked confidence, often to the point of insulting himself. He also was very careful with food, eating only enough to keep him from passing out in the car, blaming a slow metabolism. He refused to give him his phone number even though it would have made meeting up a lot easier and, he would always show up with these random bruises everywhere. Max suspected something was not right pretty soon and confronted Oscar about it. That's when Oscar started ignoring Max, cutting him off entirely.
That lasted until Oscar came back from Australia after leaving Joshua. He accidentally bumped into Max at the hotel they were staying at for the Grand Prix and Oscar had not been able to contain his tears. Max invited him to his room and Oscar told him the truth.
They started dating at the end of 2022. It was only a matter of time really. Oscar realized he had been in love all along. It was difficult at first to open up, Oscar had to relearn a lot of things and he was still working on it but Max had been there all the way, kind and patient, something Oscar was definitely not used to anymore. Max had been the one to suggest seeing a therapist, he said it really helped him. Oscar had been reluctant at first but went anyways. He did not regret it. He was now able to put words on his experience, learnt that what happened to him was not his fault. He also started calling his mum every week now, she had been there for him even across the world.
Now, two and a half years later, they were still together. They had their ups and downs with Oscar still suffering from the aftermath of the abuse but, he was starting to feel normal again, even making friends with people in the paddock including Lando and Charles.
So, here he was, at the bottom of the stairs of their two story penthouse in Monaco with the positive pregnancy test shoved in his hoodie pocket. Max had been up late the night before and slept in and, Oscar, not wanting to disturb him, had done his business in the downstairs bathroom as he had been doing for the past week. He didn't want to disturb Max, not because of a stupid stomach bug that kept waking him up at 5 o'clock. Well, as it turns out, the stomach bug really was a baby.
Oscar made it to the top of the stairs with one goal in mind: to get to Max. He didn't care that he woke him up by barging in their room, frantic. He was already deep into the panic attack, vision too blurred by tears to see Max instantly get up and grab him by the elbows.
"Oscar! You need to look at me, love." Max had said, alarmed, but not unfamiliar with his boyfriend's attacks.
"Oscar, look at me." Max had said with a more commanding voice. It worked. Oscar looked at Max, barely seeing him beneath the sheet of tear. Max lead him to their bed and embraced his face with his hands.
"Deep breaths my love. In and out. You're okay." Max always knew how to deal with Oscar. He had gotten used to it over the years. And Oscar would always be so grateful.
It had worked. Oscar was still crying but, alas, able to get a breath in.
They stayed like this for a while, holding each other. Max didn't push Oscar to tell him what happened. He knew it would come, he shouldn't force it out of him. It hurt Max to see his beloved in such a state but he did what he knew how to do best: hold him close and reassure him with kind words.
Eventually Oscar calmed down a bit, still crying softly but no longer struggling to breathe. He slowly removed the pregnancy test from his pocket and placed it in Max's hand apprehensively. Max's breath got caught in his throat. How? They had been so careful. Oscar was on birth control. Max tried not to get caught up in his thoughts as he could very much see Oscar's thoughts spiralling in his own head. He had to reassure him. Tell him it would be okay even though he wasn't sure of it himself.
Seeing that Max was not responding, Oscar let out a soft "I'm sorry" that broke Max's heart.
"It's okay baby, we'll figure this out." Max had said, trying to reassure his sobbing boyfriend.
"I'm sorry I lied to you. I've been sick a lot this past week, every morning. So I went to grab a test this morning. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Oscar apologized again and again.
"Don't worry about it. I'm not mad, I wish you would have told me but I'm not mad." Max tried not to let the secrets get to him. He knew it was part of Oscar's trauma to hide things like this from him. He was scared of the elder's reactions but it was not Max's fault, this much Max had worked out in therapy a while back scared that he was the problem.
For now, Max could see that Oscar was exhausted, probably having been up early every day to puke in the last week. He could see that he had no energy left after the panic attack. For now, his instincts just told him that he needed to be there for Oscar, hold him and make him forget his worries. The rest would come later. They had to figure out what they would do before leaving tomorrow evening for the Dutch GP. Max knew this probably meant Oscar would have to quit racing, not ideal considering Oscar had a good chance to win it all this year, having already stacked up eight victories to Max's three and Lando's two. But, all could wait until tomorrow.
"How about we just cuddle in front of a movie. I'll make you some food if your nausea's passed. No need to worry about it today, we'll talk tomorrow." Max had said. And that's exactly what they did for the rest of the day.