Work Text:
Day 1
I was released from prison and brought to Morrowind to deliver mail to a nearby city. Well, don't look a gift Silt Strider in the mouth, I guess.
Day 1
I had to use a scroll of Almsivi Intervention to save my life from a rat. The Tribunal Temple is a gorgeous place, though. It has books and spots of dirt with bones in it.
Day 2
I joined the Tribunal Temple. Now I have to complete the pilgrimage of the Seven Graces. The Pilgrim's Path shall guide me to each shrine and instruct me on the offerings. (It's a book.)
Day 2
I delivered the mail to Caius Cosades. He read it and bellowed: "Are you ready to serve the Emperor?!" I readily replied: "No, I'm on a pilgrimage."
He didn't object. All pious people here in Morrowind.
Day 3
At the Shrine of Humility you had to offer a piece of muck (without stripping naked).
The situation turned awkward when another pilgrim showed up... But the book said that Vivec (the Warrior-Poet) took his clothes off, so it was only logical to assume this was part of the ritual.
I guess the dremora was not in the details with this one.
Day 4
I'm in Vivec (the city).
The Shrine of Daring is very easy to reach, and for an offering of a Rising Force potion, you receive a blessing of swift levitation. The potion is easily purchased by the vendor right beside it.
The next shrine is also in Vivec (the city), and with the blessing from the prior shrine it's even easier to reach. It requires an offering in cash which is the easiest of them all (if you're not poor).
Day 4
The next shrine is underneath Vivec (the city). The book warned about a complex labyrinth on the way and advised keeping a Scroll of Almsivi Intervention handy in case you get lost. But there are only three connected corridors on each level? And every door leads outside? Even without the levitation blessing this would be trivial—if you've mastered the art of jumping over the railing.
Honestly, this pilgrimage is a walk in the park.
On the third level of the 'Puzzle Canal', there's a door that leads further inside. And there it was—the Shrine of Courtesy.
Day 4
Correction. That shrine only said: "Breathe the Waters of His Glory and the Way is Made Clear". Oh, I know what it means! I _know_ the spell of Water Breathing. No real challenges for me still. So let's breath some waters, haha!
Day 4
It didn't work.
When I resurfaced, the barrier in front of the Shrine of Courtesy stayed. The dremora Krazzt, whom you had to offer a silver sword for the blessing, observed me with a bored smirk.
Maybe you have to start drowning? Not every pilgrim is a mage, after all.
Day 4
I went into the water again and took a deep breath. Coughing and wheezing, I looked up. The barrier was still there.
What else could the solution be?..
Wait, I've got it! "Breathe the waters and the way's clear"—the spell of Water Breathing lets you pass through the barrier! Brilliant! And so simple in hindsight!
Day 4
I have to take a nap to recover. The Water Breathing spell doesn't let you pass through the barrier.
Day 5
Napping worked. (Another pilgrim showed up while I was asleep. It turned out, one had to stay underwater for much longer than I did.)
I'd say I passed the test, though. I was very close to the solution. It should be worth at least a C-.
Day 5
I drowned myself and got mystically resurrected.
Finally, I stood before the Shrine of Courtesy. I offered Krazzt my silver sword—a sword that served me well in many battles. I gave it away with a heavy heart, comforted only by the deep meaning of my offering.
Yet the dremora refused it.
"You have to offer a silver _longsword_," he said.
I sputtered. "What? The length of the sword wasn't specified! The Pilgrim's Path, the book, said you had to offer 'a _silver_ sword'. The length shouldn't matter."
"The shrine says no."
"But the book said—"
Krazzt cut me off: "I'm not the one making the rules here, buddy. Bring a silver longsword."
"But—"
"Every other pilgrim brought a longsword. I suppose for true believers it's just obvious that there's nothing _short_ about Vivec."
Defeated, I had to retreat.
Some Shrine of Courtesy... First it demands that you drown yourself, and then shames your sword for not being long enough? Shrine of Rudeness, more like.
But I'm not giving up. Vivec is a big city. Surely, there are many vendors selling silver longswords.
Day 25
The vendors in Vivec sell everything except silver longswords.
You'd think the priestess who sells the Rising Force potions _for offerings at the shrine 100 feet away_, would sell swords for offerings at the shrine 200 feet away? No.
You'd think smiths of House Redoran, Morrowind's most militaristic house, would sell any kinds of swords? No.
House Telvanni have an excellent library, however. They also have an excellent sense of humor. One of the wizards turned a guy invisible for free and promised to turn him visible again for 500 gold. I should join House Telvanni.
Eventually, I found a vendor who sold me a silver longsword in the Hlaalu Canton. So now I'm heading back to the Shrine of Courtesy.
Day 25
Krazzt sighed as I approach.
"As you see, I am unarmed," he recited in a voice of a man condemned to eternity on minimum sustenance. "But you are brave and gallant. Will you give me your longsword so that I may stand a chance against your might?"
"Yes," I said. "I hope this one is long enough for you."
Krazzt grimaced. "You have the grace of courtesy. Don't forget to kneel before the shrine to receive the blessing, idiot."
The Shrine of Rudeness, I swear.
So, I knelt and received a blessing of Water Breathing and Swift Swim. "Never again am I returning to this damn shrine," I thought as I turned around and saw a chest. I glanced back at Krazzt who was watching me with a sneer, then again at the chest.
Whatever the chest hid, I could grab it and fly away. I've regained the levitation blessing from the Shrine of Daring. Wouldn't I dare to take some moral compensation for all my hardships? Blessedly, I would.
I flicked the chest open and—froze. Inside were five silver longswords.
Behind me, Krazzt burst out laughing, then cry laughing, louder and louder while I stood there, staring into the void.
I could've killed him. I could've killed him effortlessly. For he was already dying of laughter, not knowing that I was born under the sign of the Steed.
I gathered the swords and marched off. Truly, mine is the grace of courtesy.