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Chapter Text

Jay had returned, and Nya didn’t really know how to feel. On one hand, she had finally found her Jay again, but on the other… he had completely forgotten her.

His Yin treated her like a stranger, and she didn’t know how to handle that.

They were all gathered in the main relaxation room. Jay’s fractured leg was bandaged and rested comfortably in front of him while he slumped on the couch, a glass of his favorite drink in hand. Kai sat cross-legged in an armchair on the other side, Zane standing just beside him. Cole had pulled up a stool to sit across from Zane. Lloyd stood at the center of the circle, while Nya positioned herself on the opposite side of Jay’s couch, facing Kai.

« Jay » Lloyd began, stepping forward with his hands outstretched. « We need to know… what—what exactly do you remember? » He stumbled over his words, biting his lip awkwardly.

Jay frowned, irritation flashing across his face. « I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I have nothing to do with you ninja. » He spat the last word like an insult, turned away, and continued sipping his drink. Lloyd averted his gaze, guilty, and Nya decided to take charge and get this supposedly ‘friendly’ conversation back on track.

« Listen, Jay—how about we start by introducing ourselves again? That way, at least you’ll know our names, since we already know yours. »

Jay stared at her, his electric-blue eyes devoid of recognition. A sharp pang struck her chest, threatening to unravel her. She closed her eyes, partly to compose herself and partly to avoid Jay’s piercing gaze. This wasn’t the moment for weakness. She had to stay strong, unshaken. If not for herself, then at least for those who depended on her steady hand.

« Tch—if you want. » Jay waved his hand dismissively. Kai growled slightly in the background, and Cole crossed his arms tighter, clearly annoyed at his best friend’s attitude.

Nya spoke up before the tension in the room could climb any higher. 

« Alright then. I’ll start. I’m Nya, Master of Water, and your Yang. »

Jay’s frown deepened, and he opened his mouth to respond before Lloyd cut in.

« I’m Lloyd Garmadon, Master of Energy, the Green Ninja, and your brother. »

Jay raised his eyebrows. The introductions continued, passing to Cole, who straightened up before speaking.

« Cole, Master of Earth, your best friend and brother. »

Zane followed. « I’m Zane Julien, Master of Ice, and your brother as well. »

And finally, Kai. « Kai Smith, Master of Fire, blacksmith, your brother, and brother-in-law. »

He ended with a wink and a smug smile. Nya smiled warmly at her brother’s antics, shaking her head lightly.

Jay’s irritation faded as something like realization flickered across his face.

« Kai Smith…? » Jay murmured, deep in thought.

Lloyd’s eyes lit up, and Nya’s expression brightened. The atmosphere grew lighter, hope sparking between them.

« Yes! Do you remember him? » Lloyd asked eagerly.

Jay seemed to take a moment, studying Kai closely. His drink—forgotten—sat on the coffee table before him.

« Aren’t you supposed to be dead? »

A frigid silence fell upon the room. Kai paled before schooling his expression into an impassive mask. But his fists were clenched, knuckles white, and his gaze darted around as if mapping out every possible exit.

Nya didn’t know what to think, so she kept her observations to herself, monitoring her brother even more closely.

« I don’t know what you’re talking about » Kai growled, sitting on the edge of his seat, his body coiled as if ready to strike. His glare dared Jay to say more.

Nya watched the exchange in silence, unsure of what to say. She glanced quickly at the others. Lloyd caught her look and raised a questioning brow, gesturing with his hand as if asking if she knew what was going on. She shrugged and turned away.

« Dude, I worked in Administration! You know exactly what I’m talking about! » Jay threw his arms up, his gestures sharp with unrestrained agitation. But beneath the frustration, there was something else—something like curiosity… or discreet admiration?

« You ended up in that monster-infested realm, didn’t you? No one has ever come back from that in one piece! Even the guys in Administration avoid that place! How did you make it out alive? » Jay’s voice was eager, oblivious to the freezing tension settling around him.

Kai clenched his teeth so hard a vein pulsed in his throat. His eyes had narrowed into slits, carrying an unspoken threat. No one moved.

« Unless… » Jay hesitated, the thought suddenly striking him. « Unless you didn’t fully escape… »

Silence stretched, thick and suffocating. His words—like burning arrows—hit their mark.

Kai shot to his feet, his chair nearly tipping over. His fringe concealed his venomous eyes. Heat pulsed off his body.

The rest of the ninja shifted uncomfortably. Jay’s words lingered in the air, elusive to the others.

A crushing silence settled, oppressive. Then—suddenly—a sharp beep sliced through the air, cleaving the tension like a knife through butter.

« Kai. » Zane’s tone was gentle, his hand reaching toward the red ninja. « You’re burning up. You need to breathe. »

Kai raised his eyes again, glowing with an eerie light—the kind that flickered when his elemental powers stirred with intense emotion.

« Forget it. Jay doesn’t remember anything, apparently. » His voice was low, heavy—almost rough. Nya had never thought of her brother’s voice as dangerous, but at this moment, no other word seemed to fit.

« Kai… » Her voice wavered, the words scraping against her throat, but she forced them out. « What does Jay mean? » Her voice sounded fragile, and she hated it.

Kai looked away. A storm of raw emotions danced in his amber gaze. But it was gone too fast for Nya to decipher.

« Nothing. He meant nothing. It’s over now, anyway. » He exhaled as if forcing the words from his lungs. A sterile silence stretched on, weighing heavily. Only their held breaths disturbed the still air.

« Kai— »Cole whispered, hesitant, as if he didn’t want to shatter the silence but still needed to know.

« No… I’m done. » Kai turned away, fists clenched, his steps smoking—leaving faint burns on the wooden floor with each stride. He hesitated at the door, paused, and inhaled deeply before turning back.

« If anyone’s looking for me, I’m training Wyldfyre. »

And with that, he was gone.

« Kai… » Cole called out again, but it was too late.

The oppressive heat in the room and the scorched marks on the floor were the only remnants of his presence.

The sound of his footsteps faded into the hallway. A heavy silence settled over them. Each ninja was lost in their own thoughts. Then, a soft ripple—Jay took another sip of his drink, obnoxiously loud. But when no one reacted to the sound, he stopped, letting his gaze sweep over everyone.

« You didn’t know, did you? » The mercenary’s tone was impassive, as if he wasn’t already certain of the answer.

« I—I didn’t think it was… this awful… » Lloyd murmured to himself, his gaze distant. He looked lost and guilty, more like their little brother again than their leader. « He told me he had traveled a lot, crossed unknown lands, but… not this. And the first time I saw him on the Bounty, I attacked him—I sent him off to find the others when he was probably still injured and exhausted from his travels—I… » The end of his sentence was swallowed by a restrained sob. His green eyes shimmered with barely contained tears.

« I didn’t notice anything either, and I’m his sister, Lloyd… »Nya stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on her little brother’s shoulder. Normally, Kai was the one Lloyd turned to for solace, but at this moment, she was the only one who could offer it. It reminded her of that dark time when Harumi and Garmadon had taken over Ninjago—when it was just the two of them against the world.

« Kai seemed… off since I came back… But I never thought it would be… this » Cole murmured, his head in his hands. Zane nodded thoughtfully, still standing beside Cole’s chair, eyes fixed on the door as if expecting Kai to walk in and explain everything.

« We need more information before jumping to conclusions » Zane interrupted, using the same soft tone he had with Kai.

« What more do you need to know? He nearly died countless times, alone and lost in a place called ‘Land of Monsters’! »Cole shouted, his voice nearly hysterical.

« I’m not trying to minimize his trauma if that’s what you’re implying! I’m saying we need more information to figure out how to handle this moving forward » Zane replied calmly, turning to Lloyd for an answer.

But Lloyd was still too shaken to respond properly. Nya shook her head sadly, continuing to rub his back.

Zane finally turned to Jay, who was still slouched lazily on the couch, watching them as if he were entertained by a gripping movie.

« What ? » Jay asked.

« You currently have the most information on this situation. Can you tell us more? » Zane pressed, his voice still composed.

« Hmm… »Jay pretended to think. « Alright… but I want something in return. » He grinned mischievously, tilting his now-empty glass back and forth. A heavy silence fell over them—uncomfortable and tense.

« What? » Nya asked, crossing her arms, irritation clear in her voice. This version of Jay was really starting to get on her nerves.

« Another drink. I’m thirsty. » Jay either didn’t notice the general frustration or chose to ignore it.

Cole groaned and got up from his seat, grabbing Jay’s empty glass before heading to the kitchen. An awkward silence lingered. Zane took Kai’s former seat while Lloyd sank onto a faded green pouf—his favorite for years. Nya remained standing, feeling like she could handle her turbulent emotions better this way. She still didn’t know what to make of everything she had just learned.

« Well, this is awkward » Jay quipped, earning a glare and two silent, irritated looks. « Okay, okay, I’ll shut up. »

Thankfully, Cole returned at that moment with a fresh glass and several cans of Jay’s favorite drink. He handed them over, and Jay’s freckled face lit up. He took a long sip of the cold beverage.

« Aah » Jay sighed in satisfaction before finally noticing the impatient stares. « Alright, what do you want to know? »

« How did Kai end up in this ‘Land of Monsters’ or whatever? »

“I don’t know,” Jay shrugged, taking another sip.

« But you said— »

« Hey! I’m not omniscient! I don’t know everything. »

« Alright, Nya, Cole—calm down. Jay, can you tell us what you do know about this? » Zane tried to defuse the rising tension.

« That depends on what you want to know exactly. » Jay smirked, holding his glass just below his mouth as if trying to hide his smug grin. Nya seriously, seriously considered punching him at that moment.

« Jay… Can you just tell us what you know about what happened to Kai? » Lloyd asked, looking so small, so far from the great Green Ninja. In moments like these, Nya was reminded that before being their leader, Lloyd was, above all, their little brother—and she had to protect him.

Jay’s eyes widened slightly at the sight. He shook his head before taking a long gulp of his drink, as if steadying himself.

« I don’t know much. Like I said, even the Administration doesn’t dare set foot in those cursed lands. »He took a deep breath before continuing, his gaze slightly unfocused. « Every agent sent there has died, and one barely made it back—half-mad, as if he had left a part of himself behind. It’s a nightmare world. The land is uninhabitable, and the sun never pierces the cloud cover. The only creatures that have survived there are terrifying, unregistered beings. The only things that have endured a place like that are its... monsters. » He spat the last word as though it were a personal offense. « Anyway, no human—or even humanoid—has ever been recorded there or made it out alive, except for your friend. » Jay finished with a weary sigh.

...

« Dead or insane... » Cole murmured, deeply lost in thought. Arms crossed, brows furrowed, he processed the new information.

Nya had to sit down. It was too much. Her legs suddenly felt like cotton. Too much. Too much to handle, too much to process. She ran a hand over her face—a futile gesture to try and absorb the weight of what she had just learned.

She sank onto the couch beside Jay, unconsciously seeking some comfort in his presence. How was she supposed to understand—let alone cope with—the fact that her brother had literally walked into and returned from a living hell? She buried her head in her hands, feeling the tears rise again, her burning eyes refusing to shed them.

« Kai isn’t dead… and I haven’t noticed any signs of madness. But... » Zane’s voice trailed off toward the end, hesitating, his gaze clouded with a doubt he couldn’t put into words.

« But you don’t know. » Jay interjected.

« We don’t know what? »

« Is he really back whole? Is he still your Kai… or something else? » A cryptic glint shone in Jay’s eyes as he let the doubt sink in.

Cole shot up abruptly, his chest rising with restrained fury. « We’re not going to start doubting Kai just because of your damn words! » Thick anger lowered his voice, making it almost dangerous. The walls trembled—the earth listened to his emotions. His fists clenched at his sides. He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down and stop making the ground shake.

« I’m not telling you to doubt, just to be wary. Your Kai certainly didn’t return unharmed from that place. » Jay shrugged again, looking mildly annoyed. « But I can’t tell you how to handle your friend. That’s up to you. » With that, he went back to his drink, pretending to ignore them.

Nya bit her lip, uncertain. She needed more time—to process, to understand. To…

« We have to talk to Kai. » Lloyd’s voice was much more assured than before. Nya looked up. He was standing, fists clenched and trembling at his sides, but his posture was tall and straight, his expression determined—a true leader.

« Can I get some crackers? » Jay ruined the moment again, and this time, Nya couldn’t help herself. She smacked him on the back of the head, right above that awful ponytail.

« Ow! What did I do?! »

« You’re an idiot, Jay. »Nya smiled, reminded of how Jay always managed to make her smile even at her lowest.

« We can’t overwhelm him, Lloyd » Zane stepped forward, ignoring Jay’s nonsense.

« Yeah, I know, but— »Lloyd hesitated, seeming to shrink into himself. He stared down at his hands as if they bore the weight of his mistakes. He inhaled, hesitated, then slowly clenched them before murmuring, « I don’t know... » Another pause. He bit his lip, then lifted his gaze. « He’s my brother, and I know he’s suffered… He’s suffered his whole life, but—this. I—I don’t know how to handle this. » He eventually looked away again, crossing his arms around himself for comfort.

« It’s... complicated. » Zane seemed lost in thought, his eyes glowing slightly as he searched for data that might help with the situation. « Maybe it would be better to wait and observe...? » His eyes stopped glowing as he looked at them, awaiting confirmation. No one moved. He continued. « We could watch, and if Kai really isn’t okay or starts acting too strangely, we could confront him? Or… maybe we let him come to us now that he knows we know? » He added thoughtfully.

« I… I agree with Zane. Maybe waiting is better. Giving him time to process, and us… time to think, I guess. » Cole added from a corner, having distanced himself from Jay during the argument.

« What do you think, Nya? You haven’t said anything. » Lloyd asked after listening carefully to the others.

Nya… Nya wasn’t sure what to think about this mess. And Cole was right—they all needed time to sort out their emotions before dealing with the bomb Jay had dropped on them. But one thing was certain…

« I don’t agree. » She paused, carefully choosing her words. « Even if my brother doesn’t show it, he tends to overthink. Now that he sees that we know, he won’t stop dwelling on it and might end up drawing false conclusions if we act like nothing’s happened. » Her voice faltered slightly. « But I also don’t think confronting him all at once is a good idea either. » Her eyes drifted absently. Above her, her brothers exchanged glances. Jay continued sipping his drink, a random book in hand, seemingly indifferent to the situation.

« Do you think that’ll work, Nya? » Lloyd finally spoke again, uncertain.

« Yes… I’ll go see him later, when we’re alone. » She paused before continuing. « If that’s okay with you? »

« You’re his sister. » 

« It’s the safest option. »

« Of course. »

« I don’t care. »

Four voices overlapped and blended together. Nya smiled slightly at the familiarity.

« I may be his sister, guys, but you’re still his brothers in every way that matters. And mine. » She finished, eyes shining.

« Ugh—way too much sentimentality—can I get my crutches and leave? »

Jay Walker-Smith, professional mood killer, groaned loudly, raising his glass as if to toast their indecision. But Nya didn’t have the energy to be annoyed. She rolled her eyes, feigning exasperation, but let a gentle smile linger. Cole let out an exasperated sigh, though his discreet smile betrayed him. Zane and Lloyd didn’t bother hiding theirs—though Lloyd’s was slightly more hesitant.

« I’ll go see him tonight. » And as she said it, she cemented her once-shaky resolve. 

Chapter Text

Nya decides to give Kai the rest of the day to calm down and think. She takes this time to organize her own thoughts as well. Lloyd cancels training for the day, Zane locks himself in the kitchen, Cole disappears into the monastery's training hall, while Jay plays video games, still stuck in the main relaxation room since no one has yet found his crutches. She supposes the guys also need time to recharge. Kai is probably training Wyldyre somewhere farther from the monastery.

So, Nya spends the day dwelling on what Jay told them.

« Is he really back whole? Is he still your Kai… or something else? »

Not that she fears Kai has turned into a monster or been replaced by an evil clone—which, honestly, wouldn’t be that surprising for them—but still. She knows her brother. No, what gnaws at her is what he’s hiding. A secret buried so deep, so deliberately concealed that no one would have noticed without Jay's intervention. And that—that obsesses her. But not in a good way.

Dinner arrives too soon. They all sit around the large table in the monastery’s biggest dining hall, the only one spacious enough to accommodate them all. Lloyd sits at the head of the table, his gaze distant. To his right, Cole sits with his hands crossed, his expression serious. Géo, beside him, attempts to start a conversation in vain. Nya is next to him, and only years of training prevent her from reacting too suddenly to Géo's abrupt movements. Wyldyre is seated next to her, followed by the empty space where Kai should have been.

To Lloyd’s left, another empty seat—Zane's. He is still occupied with the final preparations in the kitchen. Next to Zane’s place, Pixal chats with Frack, while Spitz and Fritz—Cole’s children—bicker. At the other end of the table, opposite Lloyd, Jay continues pouting over being carried by Cole.

Lloyd glances at Nya questioningly. She shrugs and shakes her head in response. Cole presses his lips together, frowning at Kai's absence and the fact that she doesn’t know where he is. Wyldyre, seated next to her, lets some crumbs fall onto Nya’s arm. The red-haired girl has already started eating, not waiting for Zane to arrive and serve the main dish. And without Kai there to remind her of basic social conventions—or rather, to discreetly show her how to bend them—Wyldyre is completely untamed.

Zane finally arrives with the main dish, and Wyldyre seems to momentarily pause in her meal. Nya seizes the chance to subtly question her.

« Hey, Wyldyre, do you know where Kai is? »

« Ilgmmrester grmdehors » the girl replies through a mouthful of food. Nya stares at her, perplexed, her mouth slightly open before gathering herself.

« Could you repeat that, please? » She pauses, then adds, « Without food in your mouth? »

Wyldyre gives her a look, as if to say she’s not funny. She finally nods sharply and swallows her food all at once.

« I still think it’s a waste of time » She sighs, exasperated, before answering. « He’s outside, cleaning up, I think. »  She groans, clearly impatient to get back to her meal.

Nya nods and thanks her absentmindedly as she stands up. She grabs two spring rolls from a platter and a pair of chopsticks—just in case Kai is hungry. She excuses herself from the table under the knowing looks of her brothers and Jay’s exasperated glare. The others don’t pay much attention.

After passing through several hallways, she finally reaches the monastery’s dark courtyard. But it’s empty, and the training grounds have been tidied up. Where could Kai have gone?

The lanterns that are usually lit are all extinguished, their remnants smoldering faintly, leaving only the full moon to illuminate the courtyard. Its rays dance with the dust on the ground. The night is clear, not a single cloud obscuring the view. The stars shimmer, indifferent. As if the sky is laughing silently at her predicament through the sheer power of its brilliance.

The few insects living in the courtyard buzz and sing their nocturnal melodies. A lizard moves along one of the walls before scurrying under the tiles. Her gaze instinctively shifts to the rooftops.

Perhaps it’s her ninja instincts, an intuition, or simply a deep understanding of her older brother—but Nya knows where to go.

She approaches one of the monastery’s walls and climbs with ease and agility. Her fingers find the imperfections and crevices between the cold stones, allowing her to ascend with practiced grace. Her feet move with a precision she no longer questions, and she reaches the roof without difficulty, the plate of spring rolls completely intact. The wind blows stronger up here, sending her hair flying back, but she pays no attention. She walks soundlessly across the tiles, circling the monastery until she finds what she’s searching for—or rather, who she’s searching for.

Kai is sitting with his back to her, perched on one of the highest roofs of the monastery—the only one offering a full view beyond the walls surrounding the mountain’s peak, where the monastery stands. He is curled up, his knees drawn to his chest, arms wrapped around them. Nya hesitates for a moment behind him, unsure how to approach. The arm supporting the plate of spring rolls begins to tremble, the chopsticks clinking together.

Suddenly, Kai turns at the faint noise, startled. His shoulders tense, half-raised as if ready to spring into action. His eyes widen. His breath is short as he stares at her. His gaze first shifts to her hands, searching for the threat of a weapon. Not finding one, he finally looks up at her face, locking eyes with her.

His shoulders remain rigid for a moment before he forces himself to relax. He gives her a sheepish smile, an unspoken apology for his excessive reaction. With one hand, he pats the spot beside him, and Nya realizes she hasn’t moved at all.

She bites her lip but forces a smile as she steps forward. She leaps to the next roof and settles beside her brother.

She sets the plate of spring rolls between them and lets the silence stretch as she gazes at the starry sky. Up here, the air is crisp and oxygen scarce—but thanks to the warmth radiating from Kai, she doesn’t have to worry. And after years of training in the monastery, she has grown accustomed to the lack of oxygen. The sky has yet to lose all its colors. The sun, invisible beyond the horizon, still casts a gentle blue glow over the earth’s curves, plunging the world into that peculiar moment between day and night, when twilight hasn’t quite ended. The silence lingers for a long time—strangely soothing in a way. But it makes Nya anxious. She has so much to say, so much to think about. The silence feels heavier than any conversation they could have had.

She pulls her gaze away from the sky and studies Kai’s face.

In the dim light, his features look… hollow. The dark circles under his eyes seem heavier, and fine lines and scars mark his face—the same face he often boasts about. Some scars are old, others newer. Nya had never noticed them before.

« You didn’t have that scar before. » She murmurs hesitantly, as if afraid to break the moment. Raising her hand, she traces a faint, barely visible scar across his cheek with her finger. Its surface feels slightly rough against her calloused fingertips.

Kai freezes at the sudden touch. His body tenses as if jolted by an electric shock. He jerks back abruptly, almost panicked, nearly losing his balance. Then he seems to realize how harsh his reaction was. With visible effort, his shoulders relax, and he forces a smile—so strained that Nya wonders how she hadn’t noticed it before.

« A lot has happened. I didn’t even notice it. » Kai shifts beside her, speaking in a calm, cheerful tone. And Nya doesn’t know how to handle that. « I’m fine. » And if that isn’t the most blatant lie Nya has ever heard from her brother…

« Jay told us. » She can’t help but say, her eyes still fixed on him, noting every visible detail.

Kai averts his gaze and rubs the back of his neck with feigned embarrassment. His flawlessly executed smile never quite reaches his eyes.

He laughs softly, the sound hollow, almost hesitant—a clumsy attempt to lighten the mood. « Pff, he probably exaggerated, Nee-Nee. » Using her childhood nickname is a cheap trick—one he only pulls out when trying to change the subject. Nya knows this. He’s used that tactic far too many times before.

Kai— » She wants to yell at him. To tell him he doesn’t have to hide. Not from her. Not from his sister! That she doesn’t need his pathetic attempt at protection when he is clearly not okay.

She parts her lips, but the words remain lodged in her throat. The puzzle pieces click together in her mind, forming a picture she isn’t sure she wants to see.

The forced smiles. The tense laughter. The shadows in his gaze.

Kai was never a good actor. At least, that’s what she had always thought.

And now, it hits her like a bucket of ice water.

This isn’t suspicion. It isn’t vague concern.

It’s certainty.

Her brother is not okay.

And she’s just realized it.

Without thinking, driven by a deep instinct, Nya wraps her arms around her older brother’s fragile frame. She holds him tight, and despite his tense posture, his hands settle against her back.

« I’ve got you, Nee. » He whispers against her ear, as if she were the one in need of comfort. But that’s not true.

Not today.

« You’re not okay, Kai. » She whispers back, her brown hair tickling her cheeks, but she ignores it. « I’ve got you, Kai. » She exhales shakily. « I’m here. Now. » She closes her eyes, gripping him firmly.

Kai inhales sharply, as if his breath has been stolen from him. He clutches her tighter. He buries his face in the hollow of her collarbone. His body shudders with uncontrollable tremors. Silent sobs—stifled, strangled—build in his throat, but soon they shatter against his chest, impossible to hold back. She feels dampness against her back.

She tries to shift, to loosen his grip so she can look at him—but he only holds on tighter. His breath is ragged, nearly gasping, as his fingers clutch desperately at the fabric of her gi. Nya understands the unspoken message and lets him hold her.

« I— » He tries to inhale but chokes, gasping. « I never thought I’d see you all again. » He stifles another sob, and Nya bites her lip.

« I thought I was going to die, Nee. » He trembles and shakes his head, as if unwilling to remember. His shivering breath echoes in her ears, as if he’s struggling to rip oxygen from the air. The words spill from his throat, as if he can’t stop them. He whimpers and clutches her tighter. « I wanted to. »

A tear slips down Nya’s face, burning against her cold skin. Her shoulders shake at her brother’s confession. She lets out a soft, pained sound.

Then, suddenly, everything collapses.

The embrace shatters.

Kai releases her like she’s burning.

His eyes—red, feverish—are overflowing with something wild, almost animalistic. His breathing is labored, his face carved with exhaustion in the worst possible way. He grabs her by the shoulders, his grip painful.

« But I didn’t. » His voice breaks between gasps. « No, no, no— »He stammers, struggling for breath, curling slightly inward as if crushed beneath an invisible weight. « No, no, I fought for you. To find you all again. To come back. »

His hands finally let go.

Nya is almost certain there will be bruises when she looks in the mirror later. But that’s not important right now.

« Kai— »Her voice is rough, her throat too dry, the call too weak, slightly mangled. She pauses and steadies herself. « It’s okay, Kai. I’m here. Everything is fine. You came back to us. » She doesn’t know what else to say, but it seems like the wrong thing.

Kai shakes his head and curls in on himself even more. His arms fold around his body, frail, too tight, as if he’s trying to tear himself out of his own skin. His fingers claw at his elbows, tense and trembling. His eyes are shut, his messy hair falling over his face. 

« No, no, no… » He mutters, terrified, his right hand lifting to scratch at his face.

« Kai… » Nya tries again as his breathing speeds up. He’s panicking—hyperventilating. She doesn’t know the difference, but she knows it’s bad. « Kai, you—you need to calm down. You need to breathe… » She raises her hands as if to surround him without touching, afraid to cross the boundary again.

« No, no—you don’t understand, Nya— »He keeps scratching his cheek, digging his nails into fragile skin, over and over. His curled fingers grip, his nails press deeper. A shudder runs down her spine as his frantic movement escalates. 

And then, she finally understands where that scar came from.

« I—I’m not here, Nya—I never was—I’m still there. » His head jerks up suddenly, untamed panic and desperation consuming his face so… raw. « I’m a monster, Nee. »

She can hear her heart shattering in her ears. Her breath stops, and she can’t breathe.

Because the world collapses, the world fractures, freezes, and falls apart. The break isn’t clean—it’s as horrid as the devastated face of her brother. It’s as unbearable as the realization that her protector, her confidant, is crumbling before her eyes.

And Nya realizes that she doesn’t know what to do. 

And maybe—for the first time in her life—her brother won’t be there to help her fix it.

« A monster » Kai murmurs, curled in on himself, his breath spiraling out of control.

And that’s all he sees. « That’s all that’s left. » That’s all he is.

Nya wants to scream.

But not now.

Maybe never.

Her brother needs her.

So, gently, like approaching a cornered, wild creature, she loosens her arms and slowly reaches her hands forward. Her fingers press lightly against Kai’s hands, slowly halting his frantic movement. He flinches violently, his gaze locking onto hers, his lips trembling with emotion, his eyes narrowed in despair.

« That’s not true. » The calm in her voice isn’t hers. The ocean echoes through her. The surface of her wake is still, while the storm rages in its depths. « You’re not a monster. You’re my brother. You’re Kai. » She pauses, moistening her lips to stop herself from biting them. « And you’ve changed. Deeply changed. But you’re still my brother. You are not a monster. »

« But I— »Kai shakes his head, rejecting her words.

« No. » Her tone is sharper than she intended, but he needs to understand.

« You’re here. You’re breathing. That’s all that matters. » Her eyes burn, her lashes barely holding back her own tears. 

But Kai—oh, Kai melts in her grasp.

His breathing hasn’t slowed, and his tears spill anew as he clings to her, his face pressing into her stomach, his arms wrapped firmly around her back as he screams his pain into her.

But it’s okay. He understands.

Because even if Kai ever became the worst monster, his sister would always be there to bring him back.

But Kai is not a monster.

And to remind him of that, Nya is here, too.

« I’m here. It’ll be okay. » Nya whispers, unable to stop her tears from falling—though slower than her brother’s. But she doesn’t care.

Kai is here.

And he will be okay. She’ll make sure of it.

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