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It was six months ago that Blaine Anderson made the biggest mistake of his life; a mistake that would separate him from the three people that he loved most in the world.
“You need to go.”
“Sebastian, i-“
“I said ‘get out’.” Sebastian growled, his anger rising instantly as he slammed his fist against the kitchen island causing the muscles in his bicep to tremble with rage and eyes turn fierce.
“But-” Blaine started, eyes dashing to the stairs and then back to Sebastian who was now gripping the counter, knuckles white, eyes glaring back at him underneath his disheveled hair.
“They’ll be fine.”
“I didn’t mean to-“
“I don’t want to know.”
“It was a mistake. I-“
“Blaine.”
“It meant nothing, I pro-“
“Just go.”
“I don’t want t-“
“I don’t give a fuck what you want. Get out.”
“Sebas-.”
“Go.”
It had been six months of separation, six months of sleeping in his old room at his parents’ house, six months of picking up the kids on Saturday mornings and dropping them off on Sunday evenings, six months of life without Sebastian.
They’d talked, of course they had. They had to. The kids came first. It wasn’t proper talking though; a combination of brief phone calls to make arrangements, a drunken text here and there (from both parties) declaring love and harsh words and the occasional time when the kids hadn’t been ready and they had stood shuffling in the doorway forced to make momentary, stifled, small talk about family, work and the kids.
Every time Blaine had thought that they might actually be getting somewhere, when he might have seen a glimmer of hope that eventually Sebastian might talk to him, that he might be ready, he had been wrong.
The most heart-breaking time had been about three months into the split, as he had been delivering the kids back home on a Sunday evening.
The day before, Sebastian had spoken to him for a full five minutes, four more than usually willing to and at the end, when Blaine and the kids were ready to leave, Blaine could have sworn he had seen a small smile on the taller man’s lips as he and the kids skipped down the path, talking excitedly about what they would be doing with Nana and Papa that weekend.
Blaine spent the next thirty six hours preparing himself to talk to Sebastian, to finally jump straight in and have the discussion that they’d been avoiding for the past twelve weeks. He spoke to his parents, who loved Sebastian and hoped that the two of them would reconcile, that evening and told them of his plans; they told him to be wary, that Sebastian might not be ready but Blaine foolishly ignored them.
The following day he had arrived at Sebastian’s (their) house slightly earlier than normal, ready to talk, to try and sort it, to apologise and beg if he had to.
He was happy, the kids were buzzing from his mood and as he had rang the doorbell he felt a sense of love, excitement and hope coursing through his veins.
It had all come shattering to a halt as soon as Sebastian opened the door, a look of shock on his face.
His hair was tussled and he was wearing tracksuit bottoms, white vest and looked a little worse for wear. Blaine knew that Saturday nights had turned into Sebastian night to go out with friends but he had never before arrived before the taller man had been dressed and looking his best.
For a fleeting moment Blaine ignored it and was about to jump into the speech that he had been practicing over and over when he heard the four words that smashed the glimmer of hope to smithereens.
“Babe, who is it?”
Sebastian had looked back into the house then turned to face Blaine once again; shock still present. Sebastian had turned his attention to the kids straight away, telling them to go put their things away in their rooms, before turning to face Blaine with a look of confusion, remorse, anger and pain all mixed into one.
Blaine hadn’t said anything after that, just dropped the remainder of the kids possessions on the doorstep and turned away back to his car. It was heart-breaking, but as he drove away from the kids, from Sebastian, from their home he remembered that he didn’t have the right to be heartbroken. At least Sebastian hadn’t slept with someone while they were together, at least he had waited.
It wasn’t mentioned the weekend after and Blaine made sure that he didn’t arrive early ever again.
Which bring them to six months. Six months of separation, six months of sleeping in his old room at his parents’ house, six months of picking up the kids on Saturday mornings and dropping them off on Sunday evenings, six months of life without Sebastian.
It was a Sunday evening and Blaine had the kids in both hands as they trotted up the path to the blue front door that separated him and his old life. The kids were nattering away happily, swinging their bags at their sides. Blaine started to get the familiar feeling of fear that he now got in the pit of his stomach every time they did this trip, ever since the “Babe, who is it?” incident.
He rang the doorbell as the kids latched on to his legs hugging him goodbye (they’d got a lot more clingy and reluctant to let him go recently) and waited for Sebastian to answer.
As the door swung open, Blaine looked up to see Sebastian looking at him and the kids with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Blaine replied, peeling the two children away from him and kissing them both of the forehead before pushing them through the door, so not to get cold in the December chill.
“I didn’t know if it would be you.” Sebastian stated, but it was more of a question. “Yesterday your-“
The day before Blaine hadn’t been to collect the kids, it had been his parents.
“Yeah sorry about that. Doctor’s appointment.” Blaine replied.
Sebastian shrugged as though he hadn’t minded and then his eyes focused in on Blaine again.
“Everything ok?”
“Yep. Fine. Just a check-up.” Blaine replied with a short nod.
“Good.” Sebastian replied quietly.
The air suddenly filled with silence and this was usually the cue for Blaine to say his goodbyes and turn back to his car.
He raised a hand in form of a wave and was about to turn when he heard their youngest, Mollie, inquire from behind Sebastian.
“Daddy, can Daddy stay for a bit?”
Blaine looked at Mollie as she moved forward and hooked herself around Sebastian’s waist and then at Archie, who was now standing the opposite side, imitated his sister as they both looked at Sebastian expectantly.
He smiled to himself and crouched down so that he was at eye level with the two of them. He reached out and tucked a strand of brown hair behind Mollie’s ear and winked at Archie.
“Daddy has to go home.” Blaine replied, “And you two munchkins need to go to bed.”
Mollie and Archie both pulled faces at that causing Blaine to let out a huff of a laugh which was met with a similar sound from Sebastian up above.
“But…” Mollie started and paused for a moment as if unsure if she was allowed to say what she was thinking, “…this is home.”
Blaine felt his heart break instantly, the smile from his face vanished as he looked from Mollie to Archie and then up to Sebastian who mirrored his expression.
“Mollie, sweetheart....” Sebastian started but didn’t finish as a flurry of long brown curl disappeared from his side, into the house and up the stairs.
Archie stayed a moment longer, looking back and forth from Sebastian and Blaine and with a look of frustration, that he’d perfected and that made him look just like Sebastian, turned disappeared up the steps quietly.
“Shit,” Blaine breathed out, pushing himself up so that he was standing in front of Sebastian once again, raking a hand through his hair. “I should go.”
He looked at Sebastian whose eyes kept flicking from Blaine to the stairwell and back again with a worried look, not saying anything.
Blaine took it as he cue to leave and once again started to turn to head back down the path to his car.
“It’s my fault.” Sebastian stated from behind him, causing Blaine to freeze and look back. “They asked me last week if you could stay to put them to bed this week and I said maybe. They’re mad at me. Not you.”
Blaine didn’t say anything, didn’t know what to say so he just kept on staring, watched as Sebastian worried his bottom lip with his teeth for a few moments, before looking away from Blaine and focusing on the path near to Blaine’s feet.
“Maybe next week you could come back earlier and we could do something, all of us, together.” Sebastian suggested quietly.
“Ok..” Blaine replied, his heart beating a thousand beats a minute. “..only if you want.”
“I do.”
“And you’ll be on your own?” Blaine asked reluctantly, causing Sebastian’s eyes to shoot up and meet his own.
“Yes.”
“It’s just that-“
“I’ll be on my own, Blaine. It was a onetime thing.” Sebastian stated, his jaw clenching and eyes wide in honesty.
“Ok.” Blaine replied, nodding his head, eyes locked with Sebastian’s. “See you Saturday.”
“Yep. See you then.” Sebastian replied, with a small apprehensive smile.
Blaine smiled back and the turned to walk back to his car.
Saturday. Six days. A glimmer of hope. Actually not just a glimmer. There was definitely hope.