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A - Act
Everything is nothing but a big show of acting.
Wakaba Mutsumi doesn’t remember when exactly she has been doing that–maybe since she saw that kind of look from Minami-chan, or how happy adults are whenever Mutsumi act properly the way they want or expect, or when the camera flashed brightly but she can’t hide from it.
Everything is nothing but an act.
That’s include Togawa Sakiko too. Their mothers meet and say that since both Mutsumi and Sakiko are the same age, they should be playmates. So, Mutsumi, like always, gauged the reaction of that blue-haired girl, what kind of act would she love the most?
Everything is nothing but an act.
But, then when Sakiko smiled at Mutsumi, regardless of how she painted her smile or spoke quietly. Or how she listened to Mutsumi’s love for guitar instead of classical piano. Or when she profoundly played with Mutsumi when it was not the Mutsumi she knew.
Everything starts as an act.
But, her heart began to throb whenever Sakiko touches her calloused fingers, or when it feels so weirdly soothing to have Sakiko around, or when she wants to see Sakiko without having to get asked by Minami-chan–
“I want to see Saki”
Yet, somewhere along the way, the act becomes real.
B - Bold
Sakiko is bold.
She always takes initiative in almost everything. But not to the point of extreme foolishness. She was always bold, seeing things that Mutsumi didn’t and then pulling Mutsumi to see the beauty. So, Mutsumi will timidly follow behind her, looking forward to what Sakiko will bring to her.
“Why are you always so calm, Mutsumi!?”
But not now. Sakiko is so flushed, even to the tip of her ears. She holds the pillow as her last defence against Mutsumi’s bare flesh on her own–not that it works of course.
“You are cute, Saki” Mutsumi said and she pressed another kiss onto Sakiko’s lips, “I love you” rendering the nonexistent defence as she boldly embraced her lover once again.
C - Cunning
If someone tells Sakiko that Mutsumi is an innocent, pure-hearted, and timid girl. Sakiko will definitely without a doubt protest. Mutsumi is nothing like that. People say Sakiko is cunning, but Sakiko feels like Mutsumi sometimes can be even more cunning. Or worse, she does things unintentionally.
Such as when Sakiko rejects her request, Mutsumi will look at Sakiko with her two big beautiful amber eyes and tug Sakiko’s sleeve, “... Saki” and whisper her name softly.
It always takes three seconds before Sakiko sighs, “You should be glad I love you” and do whatever Mutsumi wants.
D - Devotion
Neither Sakiko nor Mutsumi ever thought of what they did to each other as something special or hard to do. Okay, maybe during their teenage phase when everything was falling apart. But, beyond that? Nothing special.
But, people are always amazed at how they understand each other without having to exchange words, how Sakiko easily make Mutsumi smile and laugh, how Mutsumi can easily make Sakiko flustered, or when they give their best to each other. But, it is nothing special really.
They just want the best for each other and seeing each other smile is the best reward for them.
But, if people insist it is devotion, then Mutsumi and Sakiko will just agree. They don’t need to name their act after all.
E - Eerie
Many who know the true nature of Wakaba Mutsumi, consider Mutsumi to be frightening, eerie, and uncanny–at times or, all the time.
Mutsumi already knows it, after all, how could she not? Her mother blatantly looks at Mutsumi like that. She watched the eerie Mutsumi from the very front seat after all. It is fine. Mutsumi won’t blame Minami-chan. It is a normal reaction. So, all Mutsumi can do is act, act, and even more act . Even though most people will run away from her.
But, Sakiko didn’t. She never runs from her. She was scared, especially when she met Mortis for the first time. A small glimpse of how terrifying Wakaba Mutsumi.
But, Sakiko never once left.
She stays.
But, well, Sakiko is always fond of eerie things–like those Western dolls. So, Mutsumi doesn’t mind if she is considered eerie. Since Saki loves her all the same.
F - Family
Most people’s relationships start as strangers, then friends, or/and then lovers, and then family.
But they are the opposite of normal.
Sakiko calls Mutsumi her little sister in kindergarten, thinking that Mutsumi is younger than her. Also, due to Sakiko takes care of Mutsumi–like her bed hair, or how often Mutsumi forget her things. Which makes Sakiko think she is the responsible big sister for Mutsumi.
Eventually, Mutsumi graduated from being Sakiko’s little sister to her lover.
“I love you”
It is also not their first time to say that to each other.
But, all the forms of their love have taken over the years, and are condensed into three simple syllables.
G - Give
Do they give each other too much?
Both Sakiko and Mutsumi never overthink it. For them, giving feels as natural as breathing.
They simply offer pieces of themselves—like a mitten in the winter from Sakiko to Mutsumi when Mutsumi lost hers, or a scarf from Mutsumi to Sakiko when she noticed Sakiko tremble in winter.
It's in every little gesture, every shared warmth, every piece of their heart they offer to one another.
Sometimes, it's the little bits. Other times, it’s the whole heart, fully given.
H - Heart
People said if you fall in love with someone, your heart will race–faster and faster.
There is supposed to be nervousness, accompanied by sweating hands, butterflies in your stomach, or every tiny bit of foolishness to look cool in front of your crush.
But, they never felt that.
Not even once.
Only tranquillity and peace between them, the feeling that Mutsumi and Sakiko can do anything around each other without being judged. Sense of belonging and safety. It feels so right.
Sometimes, Mutsumi wonders if she truly loves Sakiko when her heartbeat stays the same.
But, later she found out that true love made people at ease.
I - If
“If we didn’t meet in kindergarten, would we still be like this?”, Mutsumi asked her head tilted to the side.
Sakiko lets out a small laugh as she wraps her hand around Mutsumi, “That’s an interesting question. Would we?”
Mutsumi let out a hum, indicating she wanted an answer, so Sakiko smiled in surrender, “We may not start the same–we might not be childhood friends and that’s changed our life”, she paused watching as Mutsumi’s amber eyes grew sadly.
“But,” Sakiko smiled and brushed Mutsumi’s hair, “I think I will love you regardless”
“The beginning wasn’t the same, but I am sure the end will be the same–I will always fall in love with you again and again”
“Me too, Saki…”
Sakiko then grinned, “Also, don’t you think it will be interesting? I would call you ‘Wakaba-san’ like that. Then gradually call you ‘Mutsumi’. Also, we can know each other bit by bit and then as a whole, hey, don’t you think it is interesting?”
Mutsumi didn't answer, but she leaned in and kissed Sakikos nose, “Yeah”, and smiled gently upon hearing each of the scenarios that Sakiko made.
In the end, it sounds like they are bound to fall in love with each other.
J - Jealous
They rarely feel jealous.
Because they know that no matter what, they are special to each other.
They have a special spot in each other’s hearts. A spot was reserved for them. A spot that can never be filled or replaced by other people beside each other.
But, on the rare occasion, they feel jealous, they will whisper a quiet reassurance. With kisses will follow shortly on their skins.
The sweet and sugary of ‘ I love you ’ will be echoed in the room to melt the sprout of doubts.
K - Kiss.
“I- I am so nervous… I-it is my first kiss. M-Mutsumi? How about you?”, Sakiko whispered with a trembling voice while she held onto Mutsumi’s hand.
Mutsumi blinked, “It is not my first kiss”
“Huh?”
“Saki… don’t you remember you already kissed me back then?”
“B-But, it is when we were still ki–mmph!”
Whatever Sakiko wanted to say got lost as Mutsumi kissed her–effectively ending the conversation. Though, Sakiko protest about the romantic atmosphere and whatnot. Mutsumi didn’t mind, let’s call it small revenge because Sakiko back then also did the same.
L - Life
Both Mutsumi and Sakiko can’t imagine a life without each other.
How did they lead a life before meeting each other? Sometimes Mutsumi ponders in a sleepless night.
Mutsumi lives for Sakiko.
While Sakiko also lives for Mutsumi.
Is there any way to describe and live a life without each other?
M - Monster
Minami said Mutsumi– her own daughter –is a monster, a many-headed beast.
Sakiko strokes Mutsumi’s cheeks, the said person is quietly sleeping while the moonlight pours over her, painting an illusion of a sleeping beauty. Minami’s words tore her apart, after all, how could a mother say such a horrible thing to her own child? It is unforgivable. Sakiko cries when she heard that, screaming words that she was not supposed to say as a lady.
But, Mutsumi?
She didn’t say anything. In fact, she just grabbed Sakiko’s hand and told her they were going to miss the last train so they should go home with a slight smile on her face.
If not for the coldness of Mutsumi’s hand, Sakiko would think she is not affected by it.
Mutsumi is not a monster. She smiles whenever playing the guitar. She looks so happy whenever her cucumber and bittermelon are ripe. She looks content doing ballet. She gets sad whenever her plants withers. She looks confused whenever she finds something new. She looks sad when Sakiko is sad. She looks uncomfortable dealing with the crowd.
She is very human, a very kind and sensitive with things around her.
She looks happy when Sakiko is happy. Saying that Sakiko’s happiness is her own so is her sadness.
Wakaba Mutsumi is very human. Her kindness, her stubbornness, her gentleness, her clumsy way of dealing with words and people, everything. Everything about her is very human. Flawed but so precious just like a normal human.
Mutsumi is just trying to survive, to stay alive, to be loved.
There is no way she is a monster.
“Saki? Why are you awake…? Did something happen?”, Mutsumi asked suddenly, her eyes looking drowsy.
But even if she is a monster.
“It is fine. Go to sleep, Mutsumi”, Sakiko whispered and put a kiss on the sleeping beauty’s forehead.
Then Sakiko is more than willing to love a monster named Wakaba Mutsumi.
N - Name
It started with Mutsumi’s inability to say ‘Sakiko’ when they were three.
Mutsumi said it was too long, too mouthful. So, she called her ‘Saki’ without honorifics or suffixes because once again Mutsumi complained that it was too much.
It started with nothing special. But, then, only Mutsumi who calls Sakiko like that. Other calls her ‘Sakiko’, ‘Saki-chan’, ‘Sakiko-san’, ‘Sakiko-chan’, ‘Sakiko-sama’, and ‘Togawa-san’. But none of them calls her ‘Saki’
Before long, ‘Saki’ name has become special–only for Mutsumi to call that and very dear to both of them.
O - Open
People said Mutsumi is hard to read.
But, Sakiko disagrees. Mutsumi is an open book.
For example, there is a slight change in her eyebrow, when she gets upset. Or when she is too excited there is a subtle way she leans her body. Or when she got interested in something, there was a small smile at the corner of her lips. Or when she is sad Mutsumi will look downward more than usual.
See? Mutsumi is an open book.
P - Partner
They are partner for each other through and through.
It started as something small, innocent, and playful–partner for playing because the adults were too busy to pay attention to them.
Then it escalated to partner for playing music, guitar and piano side by side, producing melodious harmony.
Then, before they even realized it they had become partners in everything–there was no need to exchange words, just with a simple glance they knew what each other needed and wanted.
Through and through, they are partner–for everything, for life, for to keep living.
Q - Quiet
Their morning is always quiet–with birds chirping from away, the sound of water boiling for making tea, the soft sound of the cooking process. It is always quiet–comfortable and lulling into slumber again, that’s why Mutsumi despite already sitting on a chair, still rubbing her eyes, stifling her yawn as Sakiko cooks breakfast.
“Mutsumi”, it is always quiet, the way Sakiko woke her up in the morning, planting several kisses to half-awake Mutsumi, and putting down whatever menu she cooked, tickling Mutsumi’s nose and making her stomach growl.
“Good morning” she greeted, to which Mutsumi replied by pressing a kiss on her cheek,
“Morning, Saki”
R - Rain
Both Mutsumi and Sakiko hates rain. It reminds them of unhappy memories–such as the funeral of Sakiko’s mother, CRYCHIC disbandment, Mutsumi’s inability to give Sakiko an umbrella and to wipe her tears, and Sakiko’s foolishness for being blind to Mutsumi’s effort for her.
“Saki?”, Mutsumi asked as she felt Sakiko’s finger brush her cheeks softly like some fragile goods.
“I love you”, Sakiko replied softly as she brought Mutsumi closer to her.
“Mhmm… I love you too”
Rain is a bad memory for them, but, at least now they are trying to make good memories with rain, such as a cuddling session with two mugs of chocolate on the table.
S - Surname
“Wakaba Sakiko sounds good”, Mutsumi said absentmindedly when they lay on the sofa together, hearts beating in tandem.
Sakiko blinked, confused by Mutsumi’s sudden words, but she eventually smiled, with a pink blush adorning her face, “Why suddenly? Are you regretting that you’ve changed your name to Togawa Mutsumi?”
Mutsumi silently shook her head, her hand caressing Sakiko’s, fiddling with the ring on Sakiko’s finger, “I just want to say that”
Sakiko smiled sadly, “Sorry because the Togawa family doesn’t let any of us change the surname” which Mutsumi replied with a kiss on the forehead.
“I like my current name too,” Mutsumi said once again kissing Sakiko’s lips.
“Wakaba or Togawa… It doesn’t matter. I am still yours”
“And I am yours as well”
T - Time
Time is unstoppable–they have to move forward or else they will stuck to yesterday.
It is hard to move forward, to see every little thing change gradually–from the small shop on the street to her beloved childhood friend whom Sakiko can no longer recognize.
“Can things stay the same?”, the brave God facade is forcefully ripped apart. Sakiko hugs Mutsumi, with tears flowing from her eyes.
Wakaba Mutsumi is silent, her hand, awkward as ever, trying to pat Sakiko’s head and wiping off her tears as much as she could–something that she was never able to do back then.
“No”, she replied.
Because even this small act proves that neither of them can stay the same. Sakiko grips Mutsumi, and Mutsumi who able to say things to Sakiko and properly hold Sakiko now.
“But, I will stay”
Time won’t stop and they will keep changing.
But, one thing that remains unchanged is Wakaba Mutsumi will always stay for Togawa Sakiko.
U - Unconditional
People say that unconditional love can only be obtained from a mother.
But, Mutsumi’s mother hates Mutsumi–Minami-chan fears and envies Mutsumi. Even when she was three. So, with that being said, Mutsumi doesn’t receive unconditional love.
But, it is wrong. All of them is wrong.
Mutsumi has it. Sakiko–that girl who was abundant with love–showering Mutsumi with nothing but love. Sakiko always gives her love, whatever form it is, from platonic, familial, friendship, thorny, even to devotion. Sakiko always gives Mutsumi that love, without any condition, despite some times she might be awkward giving that.
And Mutsumi also does the same for Sakiko.
Awkward as she is, she tries to convey her love to Sakiko. In quiet rapture, she loves Sakiko, showering her with various gestures and willingness even though Sakiko drags her to a prison named Ave Mujica.
Mutsumi is willing to die for Sakiko.
And Sakiko is willing to live for Mutsumi.
V - Vow
Sakiko never vows to Mutsumi as she did for the rest of Ave Mujica.
Sakiko never vows to Mutsumi to take care of Mutsumi’s life.
Not that Sakiko has to. Mutsumi knows, that even without a vow, Sakiko will take care of her and love her.
But nonetheless, Sakiko did.
She vows to do anything for Mutsumi to keep smiling.
She vows to replace CRYCHIC by herself for Mutsumi.
She vows to live for her, to forever stay together with Mutsumi.
W - Warmth
Sakiko’s body is always warm.
She is also soft, so in winter and autumn, Mutsumi loves to warp her arms around Sakiko’s waist from behind. And Sakiko is more than happy to indulge it–especially during summer where as Mutsumi’s body is cool.
X - Xmas
Ever since she was a child, she knows Santa is not real. Xmas is the only event for adults to deceive children to sleep early and give them a surprise. But, Mutsumi doesn’t hate Xmas or Santa who deceived her. After all, she also liked the wide smile on Takkun’s face when he thought he managed to give a surprise to Mutsumi.
“Do you think Santa will come to me, Mutsumi?”
Mutsumi blinked and looked at the normally mature childhood friend who was staring at the Christmas tree hopefully.
“But, this year… I am not a good kid. I made our classmate scared by bringing beetle”–ah, yeah, Mutsumi remember it happened after Sakiko went to the island in summer. She brought a beetle during class, and many cried because of that.
“Saki will get it” Mutsumi replied, for this once she broke her character who loves Sakiko and guitar who can’t lie to save her life.
This once–and every year before Sakiko figured out that Santa is not real, Mutsumi broke her character.
After all, Sakiko’s innocent and expectant look is the best xmas present for Mutsumi.
Y - Yearn
“I want Mutsumi… back” –Sakiko says that in regrets of her foolishness.
“I want to see Saki…”, Mutsumi said, trembling in sadness for making her friend show that kind face when she swore she would always make Sakiko to smile.
“Saki…!”
“Mutsumi…!”
In the end, they always yearn to see each other.
Z - Zephyr
Mutsumi loves the light breeze–the way it caresses her cheek coldly, the way it ruffles her hair, and everything away from that crowded party. The fresh air is good, well, compared to alcohol and noise. It is quiet and calming.
“Mutsumi you too?”, Mutsumi looked behind, seeing the princess of Togawa staring at her with a wide smile, pulling her light dress to make wider steps.
“Yeah”, Mutsumi nodded and patted the empty spot beside her. The adults will definitely scold both of them for ruining their dress by sitting on the grass. But, they won’t apologize for ruining the party with their boring and fake smiles and alcohol.
Then, Sakiko sits next to Mutsumi, enjoying the night breeze together while looking at the moon.
“Tonight the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”, Sakiko murmured with the breeze tickling them gently.
“Yeah…”, Musumi nodded as she intertwined their hands together.