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Jiseok almost trips on his own foot as he limps back to their apartment–because of course they had to be stuck with the one on the top story, and the elevators were all broken down. Jiseok slowly raised his feet as he climbed up the stairs, his ankle killing him as it continued to swell. He wiped the side of his cheek with his hand and it came back with blood. As he reached the apartment, he hears the others and looks through the peephole.
“What’s the next plan then, huh? We really can’t pay off the bills here…maybe we have to move again,” Gunil seemingly throws the mail they’ve received on the coffee table. “I feel like this is our only option,”
“You know how much of a risk that’ll be, we could get caught.” Jooyeon points out, fidgeting with the ringhandle of his scissors and twirling them between his fingers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,”
“Jooyeon’s right. If we hit rock bottom I’ll become a prostitute, it’ll be better than moving out,” Seungmin sighs, although he hopes that doesn't have to become a reality for them.
“ Oh my god, Seungmin, I assure you that won’t be the case.” Hyeongjun scolds. “That won’t even be a last resort, especially because you don’t want that.”
“You never know.” He shrugs.
Jiseok muttered a swear under his breath as he finally put the code in and the door unlocked. The apartment door opens to reveal a beat up Jiseok who’s leaning and limping, “That won’t be the case, I got our money back,” He fishes something out from his back right pocket, “Not just that, but I stole this wedding ring from them. Maybe that’ll pay for our next few meals.” He grins, proud of himself for his actions but the members are anything but.
“Jiseok, what did you do now?” Jungsu says worriedly as he helps him regain his balance. “You look like you got in a car crash,” He heads to the kitchen to get a towel for him.
“I feel like I did,” Jiseok laughs, although there’s nothing funny about his current condition. He sets the duffle bag on the coffee table, opening it up to reveal the tens of 50,000 won notes. “You know those druggies that stole our earnings? Found their hangout spot.”
“Good job Jiseok, you saved us from having to move out of here.” Jooyeon mutters, “But you look like shit. Was it worth it?”
“I mean yeah but–”
“Was it really? Was it worth going against what we all agreed to do? To work together as a team? To let yourself get beat up? To let yourself get hurt like this?” Hyeongjun hisses, and all the members shift uncomfortably to face him. His tone and attitude aren’t anything new to them, but his concern is. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” The tension is uneasy, and all six of them are aware. Jiseok’s shoulders tense up at his words. “I’m fine. You know I’m not a kid.”
“That’s not my point.” Hyeongjun pursed his lips. “You could've gotten killed!”
“I had to do what I had to do. I didn’t get killed, so it’s okay.”
Hyeongjun’s shoulders slump in surrender, knowing that this argument will take them nowhere. “Fine, whatever.”
Jungsu returns with a wet towel, “Here. Gunil will clean your face while I get your dinner ready.” Jiseok isn’t aware of how messed up his face is until Gunil takes a photo and shows it to him.
Yikes. So that’s why Hyeongjun looked like he was gonna have a heart attack when I came in.
Seungmin grabs the duffle bag, slings it over his shoulder, and makes his way to their small attic. “Come on Jooyeon, let’s go sort the money out right now.”
Gunil and Jungsu are helping Jiseok. Seungmin and Jooyeon are sorting their money. Hyeongjun’s standing in the middle of it like a lost kid. He wants to do something, and with little hesitation he makes up his mind.
“Hey wait, Hyung.” His voice is almost silent as he speaks to Gunil but he clears his throat. “Can I help with–”
“Hyeongjun!” Jooyeon calls out. “You have to help us this week, remember? You didn't do it last time!”
Well fuck.
“What were you saying, Hyeongjun? I couldn’t hear you from Jooyeon yelling.” Gunil turns around and asks him sweetly, because damn he only has kindness in him. Truly, he does care about everyone, including Hyeongjun, even though he’s reserved and rude sometimes.
“Nevermind, it’s not important…” He says sadly and before he goes to help Seungmin and Jooyeon, he locks eyes with Jiseok sitting in a stool.
Jiseok pouts. Hyeongjun shakes his head and leaves.
-
“Why do you seem so sad today?” Jooyeon says as he sticks a mint in his mouth and turns on a flashlight. He mumbles something about almost banging his head on the ceiling then continues, “Well, maybe not sad, more like grouchier than usual.”
Hyeongjun lifts his head to raise an eyebrow, “Huh?” He chooses to act oblivious. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You heard me,” Jooyeon makes ten different piles of cash, then begins to sort them into bags and boxes. “You don’t even look like you want to be here! Do you hate being with Seungmin and I?” He lightly jokes despite the scowl on Hyeongjun’s face.
It’s not that he exactly hates it, but Hyeongjun would much rather be somewhere else right now, with someone else.
“Well I’m not sad.” Hyeongjun takes the empty duffle bag and looks inside. He finds the HJ tag inside and he only grows more upset. He throws it aside and starts to help Jooyeon.
“Bullshit, you acted so weird earlier.” Jooyeon says. “You were perfectly fine before Jiseok showed up. Is something wrong between you two?”
“Jooyeon’s right, Hyeongjun. What’s up?” Seungmin sits down on a stool between them rather than just the floor. “Maybe we can help you.”
Atleast Seungmin still has the energy to be respectful with Hyeongjun right now. He almost wants to tell what’s wrong, but the voice in his head prevents him from doing so. He avoids eye contact. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Wow.” Jooyeon scoffs sarcastically. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“Hush,” Seungmin smacks Jooyeon on the head. “But–”
“I said I’m fine.” Hyeongjun harshly lays the final stack of cash in a bag and closes it up with more force than necessary.
“Well if you need anything…”
“I don’t.”
Seungmin and Jooyeon look at each other, wondering if they should continue or not.
“...It was just a reminder,” Seungmin pats Hyeongjun’s arm, then stands up to leave. “I’m going to the convenience store.”
“To buy another pack of cigarettes?” Jooyeon smirks.
Seungmin pulls out his wallet from his jacket, “All thanks to Jiseokie.”
Jiseokie?
-
It’s one in the morning, and Jiseok is sitting at the dinner table in the darkness by himself. He rubs his hand on the side of his cheek where his cut has now been covered by ointment and treated thoroughly. He winces at the sting, then jumps slightly when a voice rings through the air.
“Jiseok,”
He could recognize that voice anywhere. His shoulders tense up, “I thought you were sleeping,” He whispers without turning around.
“No. I tried, but I couldn’t go to sleep without checking up on you.”
There’s silence between them for a while. “Come join me.” Jiseok pats the chair beside him. “I missed your company.”
“And let you stay up? Yeah right.” His footsteps grow closer to Jiseok. “Come on,”
Jiseok stays still in his chair. He knows what's bound to happen if he goes with him.
“Come on, Jiseok.” He repeats.
Fuck it, Jiseok thinks as he slowly starts to get up, but immediately almost falling due to the weight his ankle can’t carry yet.
Hyeongjun catches him, his arms wrapping around his waist since he was standing behind Jiseok while waiting for him. Jiseok slumps his head onto his shoulder. Despite all his thoughts being filled with worry, he tries to mask his concern. “I fucking knew you were hurt more then you were letting on. I’m no fool, Jiseok. If you had let me–”
“I didn’t want everybody to worry, especially you.” Jiseok mumbles softly, shutting his eyes as he relaxes in Hyeongjun’s hold. “You would've gone to kill those men. I’m no fool, Hyeongjun.”
Hyeongjun sighs. Fooled by his own words, because they both know damn well Jiseok isn’t wrong. His blood boiled whenever he heard him explain the story minute by minute, and it took so much self restraint to not go out and beat those guys to a pulp.
Hyeongjun swiftly manages to pick up Jiseok bridal style, making sure his footsteps are quiet so no one else is awake. Or if they are, they won’t try to come out and see what’s going on. He maneuvers his way to his room, quietly opening the door and turning on the light. He locks the door behind him with one hand while the other is holding Jiseok’s lower back. Hyeongjun brings him to his bed, laying him down slowly and adjusting the pillow underneath Jiseok’s head.
“You don’t have to be so worried,” Jiseok repeats himself as he winces for a moment when he accidentally moved a certain way. His side had been killing him for the past few hours, but he wanted to just suck it up and hide it from Hyeongjun. Unfortunately, that plan has flown out the window by now.
Hyeongjun notices and would've anyway even if Jiseok didn't widen his eyes when he gave himself away. “Well, I’m ten times more worried now. Take off your shirt.”
Jiseok fights off a grin and instead frowns. “But I’m okay. Plus, I don’t feel like moving.”
“Don’t give me bullshit, Jiseok.”
Jiseok is silent again, avoiding eye contact until Hyeongjun moves his chin with his hand. “I’m not a doctor, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Jiseok hesitates, then pulls the fabric over his head and Hyeongjun immediately notices the ugly cut on his rib cage.
“Holy shit.” Hyeongjun moves to his bedside drawer and takes out a bottle of ointment and a couple of Q-tips. He ignores Jiseok’s whining as he treats his wound, knowing that if he listens it’ll take ten times as long to finish up.
He moves onto wrapping Jiseok’s foot with a bandage, “It wouldn’t have gotten so bad if this was treated earlier, or better yet you wouldn't have risked your life out there. But things are never that simple with you, are they?” Hyeongjun’s movements were gentle, but his voice was the complete opposite.
“I’m sorry,” Jiseok says after a few minutes of silence when Hyeongjun puts the medkit away.
“What exactly are you apologizing for?”
“I don’t know,” Jiseok confesses. “I just know I did something wrong.
Hyeongjun looks at him, still sitting on the floor. “You almost died today.”
Jiseok smiles sheepishly, “Sorry for almost dying?”
“Jiseok.” Hyeongjun says exasperated. “Dying isn’t a joke. What would've happened if you did?”
“Sorry, I know that’s not funny. I just wanted to at least try to make you laugh. I guess it didn't work today.” Jiseok moves to the right of the bed so the left side is empty and pats it, “Join me. Please?”
Hyeongjun sighs, yet he immediately listens. The bed sinks with his weight and Jiseok turns over to face him. “Don’t be mad at me.” He pouts.
Hyeongjun frowns, “You know damn well already…”
Despite his face being a beat up mess, Jiseok looks so adorable to the point where Hyeongjun can’t help but to cup Jiseok’s cheeks and kiss him delicately. He missed this, he couldn't resist his taste any longer. Yeah sure, he’s still upset at him, but a kiss doesn't hurt. Especially since they haven't had a moment by themselves in three days, or was it four? Either way, everything has been a blur for the two of them.
When he pulls back, Jiseok opens his eyes to look at his boyfriend face-to-face. Hyeongjun is glowing. “I thought you were mad.” He moved his hands to play with the hair falling in front of Hyeongjun’s face.
“I am,” Hyeongjun pulls him closer, “But I missed you. It’s hard to be with you in front of the others, don’t you know that?”
And Jiseok does. He craves to be able to hold Hyeongjun’s hand when the six of them are going to the store together. He wishes he could cuddle up to Hyeongjun when they’re watching a movie together. He wants to kiss him good morning and night without it being a problem to everyone.
But it’s not about the others being homophobic; In fact, based on multiple conversations about homosexuals, they’re anything but against it. (“My lips are beat up because some homophobe threw a beer bottle at me. They were beating up a gay kid. Poor guy.” Jooyeon had said. Seungmin scoffed, “Why does somebody care if another man likes it up their ass? They’re still human.” The others chirmed in agreement as Jiseok and Hyeongjun looked at each other.)
It’s about knowing it can make them vulnerable. If someone else were to figure out they were dating, it would be used against them in every single way. Or, if they were to ever break up, it would create an unnecessary amount of drama with everyone involved. So for now, it was their little secret, just between the two of them.
Jiseok reconnects their lips, finally noticing the smell of the cologne he had bought for Hyeongjun’s birthday. Apparently, the smell of the sea was a great choice since he wore it all the time. Hyeongjun’s hands move to Jiseok’s tiny waist and squeeze a little, enjoying it whenever he whines a little in his mouth. The older wraps his arms around Hyeongjun’s neck and kisses him deeper, making up for the amount of time they had lost together.
They lose track of time when Jiseok pulls Hyeongjun on top of him to hold him better, their chests touching and all he can hear is Hyeongjun’s heartbeat and his little breaths right in his ear. If he had to pick between moments like these and eating, he would choose to starve any day.
Jiseok’s hands get lost in Hyeongjun’s hair, and whenever he pulls softly Hyeongjun moans quietly against his lips. The latter is about to take his own shirt off, but he’s interrupted by a thud in the room next to them. They both freeze, carefully listening to what caused the noise.
“Ow, well shit.” Seungmin had groaned sleepily. Jiseok had figured he banged his head on the bunk bed they shared together. He winced sympathetically, knowing how much it hurt to hit yourself in the head in the middle of the night.
“I don’t think he can hear us,” Hyeongjun whispered, but Jiseok just shook his head.
“I know,” He bites his lip, “But he might be suspicious of why I’m not sleeping in our room.” Jiseok began to sit up, but Hyeongjun placed his palm on his chest. His eyes were begging Jiseok, Please stay.
“He won’t care, and if he asks why we can just say that we were talking and you fell asleep here.” Hyeongjun says, stroking Jiseok’s cheek with his thumb. “Stay.”
Jiseok fights a battle in his head, but ultimately gives in and lays his head back on Hyeongjun’s pillow. His boyfriend rolls off his chest and lays down beside him, “You’re not cold?”
“I have you to keep me warm,” Jiseok reaches for a blanket hanging off the side of the bed. “And your six different blankets.”
Hyeongjun laughs with him, resting his chin on Jiseok’s shoulder as he looks at him lovingly. They sit like that for a couple of minutes in silence, until Hyeongjun speaks again. “So how did you kick their asses?”
“I learned from the best,” Jiseok grins. “I used one of your brass knuckles while you were in the shower this morning. Gave two guys a nosebleed. It was great.”
Hyeongjun stares at him in awe. “So you stole one of my weapons to get our money back? Really? I don’t know if I should laugh or get mad.”
“Well technically, I borrowed it, I did not steal it. And it was worth it for all that money.”
“You could’ve died.”
“I didn't though.” Jiseok turns his head to Hyeongjun and pinches his cheek, who slaps his hand away. “You’re so cute when you’re worried about me.”
Hyeongjun sighs, “You won’t think I’m cute when one day I’ll be on the verge of killing you for doing something stupid.”
“I think you would look hot. Seems like a win to me.” Jiseok jokes. He loves conversations like these, where he can be his true self, with the love of his life. And he also loves the true side of Hyeongjun. The Han Hyeongjun who does care about everyone around him and isn't afraid to voice his concern for something that genuinely worries him. The Han Hyeongjun who is so gentle with Jiseok, who is willing to do anything for his boyfriend, even if that means sacrificing his usual day to day schedule. The Han Hyeongjun who is cuddled up to his side at the moment.
“Maybe soon we can go on an actual date, like eating expensive food together.” Jiseok says while he fiddles with the strings on Hyeongjun’s sweatshirt.
“But we have dates all the time,” Hyeongjun argues.
“In your bedroom. That’s not my idea of a date.” As much as Jiseok is grateful that Hyeongjun got the room all to himself, it’s no longer enough. He doesn't want to be restrained, he doesn't want him and Hyeongjun to only exist in this bedroom. “And you should be like your true self more often. Especially in front of the others, too.”
Hyeongjun doesn't respond immediately, but he does ponder about it. True self? What did Jiseok mean by that? He asks him this, because he didn't have an answer himself.
“When we’re all together you act casual, but there are moments when you let your annoyance slip. But that’s not who you really are, you know? But when you’re with just me…” Jiseok presses a kiss to his forehead. “You show the natural Han Hyeongjun.”
Huh. Well that was one way to put it. But Jiseok wasn't really wrong. After all, he could only act this way when it was the two of them because that’s when he felt comfortable. At first, when they began dating, Hyeongjun was still hesitant to show genuine affection, but Jiseok made it possible for him to open up. And slowly but surely, Jiseok was able to tear down Hyeongjun’s walls.
“Do you think I’m too mean sometimes? Or that I’m a shitty person?” It was weird to voice his insecurities to Jiseok, but he felt safe with him.
Jiseok shook his head, “I think you’re perfectly fine the way you are, Hyeongjun. You aren't either of those things.”
“You’re just biased because it’s me,”
“So what if I am? Or what if I’m the mean and shitty one?”
“Or we can both be mean and shitty.” Hyeongjun says with a straight face, but as soon as he looks at Jiseok they both burst out laughing. “Live a happy life together.”
Then they both stay in their positions, talking about random encounters they’ve had recently. Something about Jiseok finding a black cat on the street before he got their money back, something about Hyeongjun wanting to go see a movie in a bar. That spirals into them debating on what’s the best house pet to have. (“It’s a rabbit, I’m telling you. Cute, quiet, and easy to take care of!” “Hyeongjun, a man’s best friend is a dog. Everyone knows that.”)
They end up deciding to go to sleep when they check the time again and it’s almost three in the morning. Hyeongjun gets up to turn off the lights, “Are you sure you aren’t going to get cold?”
Jiseok lean's over to the bedside and grabs a t-shirt hanging off the side, smelling it before putting it on. “You can be my heater.”
Jiseok can see Hyeongjun smiling fondly at him as he lays down again despite it being dark. He cuddles into Hyeongjun’s chest, making a noise of content as the younger hugs him back. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
Hyeongjun responds with a kiss on the head.
“Goodnight,”
“Goodnight.”
And when they wake up the next morning and leave their room, the members are staring in surprise but before they can say anything Hyeongjun shuts them up with a hard look. Jiseok laughs as he walks behind him, patting his back before heading to the kitchen where Jooyeon was getting cereal. Jiseok turns around to face Hyeongjun, and they both share a look of amusement.