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“It is great that Sakiko-chan has a lot of things to love. Love is a wonderful thing, right? Sakiko-chan did a good job of writing all of that. But, even the biggest heart sometimes needs to choose what to hold close, don’t you think?,”
That’s what her teacher said as she smiled gently at Sakiko when Sakiko submitted her summer homework. Sakiko huffed as she finished her story to her best friend, who drinking her favourite mango juice calmly.
“I see”, Mutsumi replied shortly.
The teacher was willing to accept Sakiko’s essay, but she asked Sakiko to consider it again. Sakiko looked at her paper again. It is only a piece of paper, and they are supposed to write it on the front page only, with genko youshi .
“If I were to choose, it would be very sad, don’t you think so, Mutsumi? There are a lot of things I love! I can’t choose!”
Sakiko complained and Mutsumi replied with a small nod.
It is a bit unbefitting of a lady. But, it is okay! It only Mutsumi and Sakiko here in Mutsumi’s room! It will be another secret for them to hold!
Sakiko sighed again, okay, maybe that’s too much, she thought as she looked at the back paper, which was filled with her scribbles. But, it is filled with what she loves! More importantly, it is about her best friend!
“Saki don’t want to erase it? I will help you”, Mutsumi said as she showed the back paper to Sakiko again, with an eraser in her hand.
I love Mutsumi.
She is always so kind to me, she is cute, it is always fun with Mutsumi. I love playing with Mutsumi–doll, drawing, tag, hide and seek, and everything. I love being with Mutsumi the most.
We play music together. I play piano. Mutsumi plays guitar. Mutsumi is so good with guitar. Last time her finger was bleeding because she was playing the guitar. But, Mutsumi did not cry. She said it is a journey to be a guitarist, Mooten say. Isn't Mutsumi so cool? I love hearing Mutsumi’s guitar. She is so good at playing the guitar. I love how Mutsumi is so concentrated while practicing guitar. Mutsumi will show me new picking technique next time. Don’t you think she is cool?
Mutsumi also do ballet beautifully. I like watching Mutsumi do ballet. Mutsumi is so flexible.
I love how cool Mutsumi’s skin is, especially on summer. She is so cool. But, Mutsumi said I am hot. So she hug me in winter.
I love Mutsumi a lot! I hope I can be with Mutsumi together forever!
Sakiko glanced again at her paper.
Hmmmmmm.
Really, even that is not enough for her to explain how much she loves her best friend. Like her hair smell, or how soft Mutsumi is whenever they hug, or how Mutsumi always listens to her, her messy bed hair, and how cute Mutsumi is when she is sleepy, how she smiles, how her fingers have hardened a little because playing guitar so much! There is so much to love about Mutsumi! Things that Sakiko loves about her friend–so much!
How could she erase all of them!?
“I don’t want to! Mutsumi, how could I erase it!? I want to write more wonderful things about you, Mutsumi!”
“But, I know how much Saki loves me. So I think… it is okay to erase it”, Mutsumi once again offered.
Which Sakiko replied with a pout, stubbornly, “No! I don’t want to. Why don’t you get it, Mutsumi?”
Mutsumi blinks, “Ah… Sorry”
Sakiko knows she is being childish and stubborn right now. And it troubles Mutsumi. But, really, how could Mutsumi say that? Sakiko pouts.
… Actually, Sakiko has a secret mission. Even it is a secret from Mutsumi. She wants their classmates to know more about Mutsumi. Some of their classmates said that Mutsumi is pretty like a doll, but boring. They said it is hard to speak with Mutsumi, and how could Sakiko can talk a lot with Mutsumi. They also don’t invite Mutsumi when play! Mean!
Honestly, it is so annoying! How could they think that way about her best friend!
So, Sakiko’s secret mission is to let their classmates know about Mutsumi. There is so much to tell about Mutsumi! Mutsumi is not boring at all! Sakiko always find it fun with Mutsumi more than anyone else. Mutsumi might not care about it. But, Sakiko cares! She won’t let anyone say anything bad about Mutsumi! Or even let anyone think about Mutsumi that way!
“... I am sorry”, Sakiko finally said as she grabbed Mutsumi’s hand, “But, I really love you, Mutsumi. So, I don’t want to erase it”
“... I know”, Mutsumi nods as she holds Sakiko’s hand as well with the same gentleness. No, even more. Sakiko sighs. Even now, Mutsumi is so gentle and forgiving to her. See? Mutsumi just added one thing to write about.
Sakiko loves Mutsumi so much–things she can name and things she hasn’t named yet.
Even a paper is not enough to write on.
Really, and Mutsumi keeps adding what to love about her to Sakiko.
There is no way a paper is enough.
“Then, how about making genko youshi ?” Mutsumi asked her suddenly.
“Eh?”
Sakiko blinks, then she smiles widely, “That’s a great idea, Mutsumi!” then she hugs Mutsumi tightly, “You are genius, Mutsumi!” right! Sakiko just has to make genko youshi ! Mutsumi is so smart! See! Mutsumi just added one thing to love easily!
So, Sakiko stood and picked a ruler from her stationery, then put it on her paper–measure the square to copy.
Uhhh… around here. And here. So, it is 15 mm each. And how many is it again–
“Saki?”
“Yes?”
Sakiko stops her measuring then looks at Mutsumi. Her childhood friend is fidgeting with the straw, “Is that okay? Making it would be difficult. I really don’t mind, you know?”
It is.
Sakiko didn’t deny it. She has to erase all of her writing. And then make the squares by herself. Counting how many squares horizontally and vertically. And making sure the rules is straight, so the lines are perfect. Then write it all over again.
But, then, Sakiko doesn’t mind.
So she smiles at Mutsumi reassuring her best friend, “I don’t mind. I don’t want to erase Mutsumi. Because I love Mutsumi so much, okay?”
But, Mutsumi is still looking at her with those sad eyes.
Sakiko thought a lot, and smiled.
“Then, how about Mutsumi help me by counting how many vertical squares and I will count the horizontal ones?” then finally the discomfort from Mutsumi’s eyes disappear, now she nods timidly, looking forward to it.
Sakiko broke into a small fit of giggling.
Really. And they say Mutsumi is expressionless…
Sakiko never see someone who is very passionate and emotional.
Yeah. Sakiko definitely won’t let her love for Mutsumi not be known. Mutsumi is a wonderful person! There is no way Sakiko doesn’t write it in her essay! After all, she loves Mutsumi so much!
“Saki? You wrote it differently”
Mutsumi look at Sakiko, confused. She pointed out the difference in Sakiko’s writing with her finger.
Sakiko laughs a bit, “I am sorry, it is just I love Mutsumi so much and I end up writing something new again ehehe”
“Is that not good?”, Sakiko asks as she tugs Mutsumi’s sleeve. It is a different story if Mutsumi reject her writing. Mutsumi smiles after she reads it, “No, it is okay. I like it”
So here they are.
Standing side by side, holding hands, watching as the teacher quietly reads Sakiko’s essay in the staff room. Sakiko said she is scared to enter the room by herself, so Mutsumi follows her.
“I-I decided to make it still!”, Sakiko said when the teacher finally looked up at her, “Teacher said I should choose things to hold. But, I can’t choose. So, I make it tidier by making genko youshi with Mutsumi”
“If… Saki can’t hold it all,” Mutsumi said softly, tightening her grip on Sakiko’s hand, “Then I will help her hold it. I have a lot of space and my hand is empty”
She lifted their joined hands a little so the teacher could see.
Sakiko blinked in surprise at Mutsumi’s behaviour. The teacher looked surprised, too.
“Then, how about Mutsumi-chan?”
“...?”
The sudden questions made the kids look at each other, looking confused.
“How Mutsumi-chan can hold things you love when you hold Sakiko-chan’s?”, the teacher asked gently as she gestured to their holding hands.
“I can” Mutsumi said after a pause, then she continued, “Because it is not a lot. So I can hold Saki’s. Saki is… the one who finds things I love after all. Without Saki…. I… can’t… and I love Saki”
Sakiko can feel that Mutsumi is shaking a bit because they are holding hands. So, Sakiko holds Mutsumi’s even tighter. Mutsumi never reply back to the teacher. So she must be scared right now. Not that both of them ever have.
But, Mutsumi’s reply makes Sakiko’s chest tighten. Her heart beats so fast. Mutsumi is so cool right now. So, Sakiko decided to be cool too for Mutsumi’s sake.
“Thank you, Mutsumi. I love you too. I will find even more things that Mutsumi loves”, Sakiko said firmly, smiling up at her, “Okay?”
Finally, the teacher broke into a smile, how could she not? After she had just witnessed two kids who genuinely love each other so much?
“I see, well, if that’s so. I will accept your submission, okay, Sakiko-chan?”, the teacher said as she put down the paper. Then the two kids are smiling brightly before bowing down saying thanks, and left.
The teacher smiles, as she reads the essay once again:
I love Mutsumi.
Mutsumi is my best friend. She is always so kind. She is fun to play with. I love being Mutsum the most! With Mutsumi, everything becomes so much fun! She is the best person ever.
Mutsumi is so good with guitar. One time her finger bled from practising, but she didn’t cry. She said it is okay because Mooten say it is journey of becoming a good guitar player. I think Mutsumi is really cool. We play music together. Mutsumi play guitar and I play piano. Mutsumi often accompany me. Then one time we play music for my mom’s birthday! I love hearing Mutumi’s guitar. I love how Mutsumi is so concentrated while practicing guitar. Mutsumi will show me a new technique. Don’t you think she is so cool?
She does ballet and she is super flexible. She is like a swan in the fairy tale! She is so beautiful!
When summer comes, I love hugging Mutsumi. Not that I ever not. She is so cool. Mutsumi is so cute. Her hair smells nice, her bedhair too–so I always help her. She always listens to me when I talk.
Mutsumi is so smart. She thinks about what I didn’t think never thought about. For example, Mutsumi told me to make genko youshi because teacher said I can’t write it messy. Mutumi helped me count the squares. Teacher said I should not write it on the back of paper, but, I just can’t not write about Mutsumi. Because I love her so much. And I want everyone to know.
I know I should not do this. But, there is no rule for how much you are allowed to love!
“Mutsumi, when you find more things to love… You have to let go of me, okay?”
Mutsumi tilted her head, “...?” looking at Sakiko’s face, confused by the sudden reminder.
“Because your hand will be full by then. I don’t want Mutsumi’s hand to be full!” Sakiko said this, sure, she looks strong when the teacher finally accepted her essay. But she can’t help but think that way, not after all the teacher’s questions.
What if Mutsumi can’t hold things that she loves because of Sakiko?
Sakiko hates it if it were the case.
She doesn’t want to hold Mutsumi back.
“Ah…”, Mutsumi finally smiled as she understood Sakiko’s line of thought, “Then Saki doesn’t need to worry”
“Because I love Saki very much. If Saki isn’t here… Maybe, I don’t have much to love” She looks down, then she shows Saki her hand, wriggling her fingers a little, “My love for Saki is one whole hand”
Sakiko laughs, then seeing Mutsumi’s awkward gesture to comfort her, “Don’t say that, Mutsumi! But, that’s right! I love Mutsumi very much as well! Then I will do this, okay?”
Then, Sakiko gently intertwined their hands together again, “We can love each other and we can protect each other, okay?”
Mutsumi nods quietly, looks content with their hands holding. It's always like a perfect fit puzzle whenever their hands interlock.
“I will make sure Mutsumi has a lot of things to love and realize it as well!”
“... Yeah”, Mutsumi nods as she holds Sakiko’s hand tighter.
“Like that pancake! Mutsumi loves it, right?”
“The one you burnt badly?”
But, she can’t help to tease her best friend a bit. Sakiko pouts, which Mutsumi thought was very cute, and Mutsumi can’t help but laugh a bit.
“Not that one! But Mutsumi, you will see my skill later! I will cook a perfect pancake for you later, okay!”
“Mmm… I will be waiting”, Mutsumi nods, though she underestimates just how many failed pancake batches Sakiko will give to her.
Still, it didn’t matter.
Mutsumi would happily eat every single one–and wait, as long as it took for Sakiko’s perfect pancake.