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Joshua couldn't sleep. It wasn't like it was anything new for him: he was always a light sleeper, sometimes waking up from another coughing fit or from the pain caused by the magic of the Ultima crystal. But this night was different: he just couldn't fall asleep, and that was it, as if he hadn't had time to get tired all day.
The Dominant sighed and got up anyway, seeing no point in tossing and turning in bed in futile attempts to at least doze off. A cool night breeze blew through the open window, and Joshua, having just crawled out from under the blanket, shivered from the sudden cold. Perhaps he should have walked a little, or better yet, reached the warmest place in the entire Hideaway.
Trying to step carefully so that the boards under his feet wouldn't creak and wake anyone, Joshua headed for the kitchen.
He didn't meet anyone along the way. Everyone was sleeping peacefully, either in bed, not always their own, or at the desk, as Mid and Vivian occasionally did. The usually busy rooms were now dark and empty, and it brought back memories of his childhood, when Joshua would also sneak into the kitchen at night, where the tired but kind maids would always offer him hot tea. Clive also sometimes went down to the kitchen, but as he got older, he began his Shield training, after which he mostly slept like a log, so Joshua usually sat in the kitchen by the fireplace alone, drank tea and quickly fell asleep, lulled by the warmth and the barely audible conversations of the servants, after which they would call one of the nannies to take him back to his room. His Mother did not know about his nightly forays, and it was for the best: she would certainly have ordered the poor maids to be punished, which Joshua would not have wanted at all.
Finally, the Dominant reached the kitchen. He pushed the door open carefully, and a blast of warm air hit his face. Joshua took a deep breath and was surprised to find that he could smell food— not cooked, but something raw. He took a few steps forward and saw another figure ahead.
"... Dion?" he whispered.
Yes, Dion was standing at one of the tables, his sleeves rolled up. Hearing the call, he flinched and turned around. A knife flashed in his hand.
"... You scared me." Dion breathed out.
"You scared me just as much!" Joshua grumbled. He came closer and could now see what was happening better: there were bowls of roughly chopped vegetables and a cutting board on the table, and Dion's clothes were all stained. "Are you... cooking?"
Dion blushed and looked away.
"I can't sleep. I decided to do something."
"And that's why you decided to experiment with Yvan's supplies?" Joshua chuckled. "Although, I see you didn't take any rare ingredients. But I never thought you could cook."
"You're right, I did take something that I could easily return later. But as for the skill..." Dion put the knife aside and, wiping his hands on a towel lying nearby, turned completely to Joshua. "Even though I, as a royal person, had a personal chef even in military camps, I can do at least the most banal things, like chop up ingredients and cook them so that they are at least not raw. You never know when this will come in handy."
"A useful skill." Joshua nodded.
"I believe that any soldier should have survival skills, whether he is a nobleman or not. You must admit, it would be unpleasant if I died of hunger in the forest because I couldn’t make a fire.” the prince shrugged and smiled sadly. “In fact, there were a couple of times when the entire order of dragoons gathered and cooked the game they caught together. It really brings people together, and I was glad to participate. I felt like neither a prince nor Bahamut... just a comrade.”
It hurt Joshua to see the pain in Dion’s eyes and smile. But he himself had such memories: bringing sadness about the past, about what was missed, but take them away — and you are a completely different person.
“Are you... planning to come back?” Joshua squeezed out, reaching for the bowl, but immediately pulled his hand back. As luck would have it, there were large pieces of carrots in the bowl closest to him. The prince took one of them and, crunching it, winked.
“I have to,” he said simply. “Well, not exactly have to. I want to.”
“I see.” Joshua mumbled.
“Since I survived, I want to see the new world with my own eyes. I could give up my old life, but...” Dion sighed. “I think Sanbreque needs me. Just like I need it. My whole life has been dedicated to my country and my people, and that’s the one part of me I can never give up. I want to see my country rise from the ashes. And yours, too. I’ll help.”
It sounded more than a little reckless, but Joshua’s heart still ached at the words.
“But you never said if you were going to become the Archduke.” Dion continued, putting another piece of carrot in his mouth. Joshua winced, and then the prince laughed. “Sorry, but that makes your face so funny I can’t stop.”
"So you did it on purpose!" Joshua exclaimed and immediately covered his mouth with his hand, looking around: they should have been quieter so as not to wake anyone. Not hearing any movement towards the kitchen, he sighed in relief. "I never said because... I don't know."
Dion frowned in understanding.
"Because didn't you plan for you to survive?"
Joshua swallowed and nodded.
"Joshua Rosfield, the heir of Rosaria, died on the Night of Flames. I spent most of my life chasing Ultima, thinking about how to save the world. And I am absolutely not ready to be a ruler. I can't handle it. Let Rosaria, like the Phoenix, rise from the ashes, completely new... I think that's what my Father would have wanted too. Certainly not a man whose knowledge of ducal affairs remained at the same level as when he was ten."
He lowered his head, blinking back tears.
"Joshua." Dion whispered. There was a rustling sound and cautious footsteps. Joshua didn't look up, even though he felt warm but strong hands on his shoulders. "Don't forget that you're not alone. Whether you want to go back or not, we'll accept your choice. We'll help you either way."
Joshua sobbed. And then some more. Tears poured from his eyes.
You're not alone.
Dion slid his hands over his shoulders, then higher, stroking his neck until he cupped his face in his hands, forcing his head up. Joshua felt warm breath on his lips, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears.
Something cold and hard touched his lips. He nearly screamed, opening his eyes and immediately starting to spit. Of course, Dion was standing in front of him, triumphantly squeezing a piece of the damned carrot in his fingers and shaking with laughter.
"This is mean!" Joshua muttered resentfully, wiping his lips. "Founder, how disgusting!"
"But it works." the prince giggled. Then he came up and nevertheless touched Joshua's lips with his own in a light, tender kiss. "But I once read that pain goes away with tears. I am always ready to listen to you."
"Thank you." Joshua exhaled, kissing him back and pressing his forehead to him, hugging. "For everything and always. And I will definitely think about your words."
"But not now." Dion nodded towards the bowls with vegetables. "I have already cut most of it. It would be a shame if such goodness were to go to waste."
And so Joshua also joined in the cooking. It was a simple vegetable soup. More precisely, a brew of everything that was at hand, except for the carrot, which Dion ate himself to the last bite (which Joshua carefully watched). They no longer returned to talking about the future, just fooled around, staining each other with vegetable juice, competing who could cut vegetables more neatly, and kissing, kissing, kissing, Dion's kisses were so frequent, as if he wanted Joshua to think only about them. In the process, they almost lost sight of the boiling pot over the fireplace, from which, despite the almost extinguished fire, almost all the water boiled away. The soup was bland, the vegetables were overcooked, but for Joshua and Dion it was the most delicious food in a long time. Then they drank herbal tea, which was only called tea. Dion recalled various stories from the dragoons' lives, including their first attempts to cook the prey they caught (the first time, the soldiers, who were completely unprepared for this, ended up with more of a lump of coal, but everyone, even Dion, ate every last piece), and Joshua talked about the places he had seen during his travels.
"But now we are almost like in childhood." Dion chuckled. They were drank tea, sitting on the floor, Joshua leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder. "Didn't we also run away at the Remembrance Ceremony so that the servants could give us tea?"
"It happened." Joshua smiled. "And then I began to do it more often when I couldn't sleep. It was... cozy, just like now."
The prince nodded understandingly and saluted with his mug, without making a toast. Words were not needed.
And so, just like in childhood, they fell asleep by the smoldering fireplace and did not wake up until dawn.