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“ Goddammit!”
Kyle sighed, hearing his lover curse once more at the iPhone in his hands. It had been like this most of the day starting from when they had both awoken. Like always Kyle flipped on the morning news while Eric went about getting coffee started. The sound of the news anchor filled the quiet space of their home, mingling with Eric's movements in the kitchen.
As a child, if anyone had told him that he'd treasure those little mundane mornings, especially with his now fiancé , he'd keel over immediately. But as life does, it changes things. It changes people and the way you perceive them. It changes feelings.
Granted it didn't change things too much. Eric was still the same drama queen he had been all those years before. He still threw fits when he didn't get his way, and schemed far too often for a man of his age, but over the years something switched in Kyle. It was rather endearing to see his partner try to perfect a plan, or to argue with some asshole at the store. And then after all of that he could still be his sweet little self. That was Eric for you.
That morning however, the more irritable side of his darling man reared its head.
“ Motherfuck! ” The sound of ceramic shattering on the floor hit Kyle's ears, making him jump.
“Eric?” Jumping up, he made his way to the kitchen only to find the shorter, plump man pacing the tiles. “What happened- Hey! That was my Harvard mug!”
Eric just stopped and slowly turned towards the redhead with a curiously angry gaze. “Did you not hear the dude in the monkey suit on the TV, Kahl? Fucking rain. Of all nights, it's gotta do that tonight !”
Ah . It was Saturday which meant date night.
Ever since their early dating days, Eric had been insistent on having time set aside for the both of them. It could be as simple as going out to a local restaurant and a movie to as extravagant as dancing with late night cocktails. So long as they did something , Eric Cartman, soon-to-be Broflovski, was happy. Well, so long as he could plan it and carry it out as he saw fit.
The past week Eric had gone on and on about some new pop up restaurant, advertised as a sort of woodland fantasy. Fairy lights, lanterns, and the nighttime breeze off Starks Pond all wrapped into a wonderful evening outside with live music. While personally this wouldn’t really fit their vibe, in a small town like South Park this sort of thing may as well have been on par with The Ritz. Of course, if something nice was going to be within their grasp, Eric was going to ensure they had front row seats.
Kyle really didn’t care what they did, but he did at times find the constant running around to make those plans grating. He loved his fiancé dearly, truly he did, but to have every date be a grand affair was tiring. They had to dress up, they had to be seen, and Kyle…he just wanted to relax.
The majority of that day, Kyle watched as Eric got more and more irritated, checking his phone and moving the curtains aside to look outside, each time growing more displeased at the darkening skies.
“They keep calling for rain- well where is it? ” Eric had grumbled shortly after lunch.
Kyle had been enjoying a lazy weekend, socked feet propped on the couch and a novel in hand. He had only just gotten into the plot when that tell tale high pitched whine reached his ears.
“ Come on!”
“Eric,” Kyle sighed, setting a finger between the pages as he looked up. “If it’s going to rain then it’s going to rain. It’s not a big deal.”
“Says you, Jew! I had plans!” Crossing his arms, Eric pouted.
“A lot of people had plans…it’s a pop up, right?” At Eric’s nod, Kyle continued his line of thought. “It’s not just our stuff being cancelled if it rains, other people will be in the same boat. They’re bound to let us reschedule.”
“ But I wanted to do it tonight!” Like an overgrown toddler, the fat man in front of Kyle stomped. “It’s like you don’t even care! I plan this shit for us and you can barely bother to even pretend to give a fuck!”
Heaving yet another sigh, Kyle fully closed his book to toss on the couch next to him. Swinging his legs over, he tried to keep his own temper in check. “I go along with those plans because it’s a date. What else do you want me to do?”
“Maybe try appreciating them?”
“ And what do you mean by that? Of course I appreciate them!” Getting to his feet, Kyle gave his fiancé an incredulous look. “In what world do I not?”
“I have to fucking dress you.” The annoyed expression on Eric’s face only made his blood continue to boil. “I have to tell you everything. I cannot recall a single time you’ve put in actual effort that didn’t involve me telling you what to do.”
“ I proposed!”
“Yeah, after I practically had to beat it into your ginger ridden skull that Denver would be a fun trip!” Throwing up his hands, Eric turned to storm out of the room, throwing out one last, “ God, you’re so fucking boring!”
Okay, that was a little mean, Kyle thought, huffing. He had done a fair bit in this relationship, contrary to whatever that drama queen believed. He helped plan those vacations they took! He was the one that picked out the ring and proposed! He planned plenty!
Well…he supposed technically Eric decided most of the vacation details, while he put things down on his card. And while he did propose with the ring his fiancé proudly wore, Butters was the one to actually show Kyle what the man wanted… When was the last time he actually planned one of their dates? When has he ever set up these things all on his own?
His eyes moved, taking in their living room filled with moments from years past. Eric had this penchant for looking back at things, collecting mementos to store within their own little home. On the wall sat the clock from their trip to Jersey- that little antique shop they had stopped at after Kyle angrily drove away from the damn place happened to be the highlight of that entire week. On one wall sat a picture with all their friends the night they celebrated high school graduation, the very last time all their group had been in the exact same place at the exact same time. He could go on and on about every single thing, but he didn't.
The mantle is what held Kyle's attention. There was a picture, one of the two of them, but that wasn't what Kyle was looking at. Shoved within the frame along the corner were two old movie tickets, the movie title long faded but the memories it held were the same.
It was the very first date.
When things had finally come to blows and feelings were revealed, both had been overly hesitant to make any sort of move. Weeks of dancing figuratively around each other had driven their friends insane and eventually, Stan felt the need to step in.
“Dude, just ask him out! I don't see what the big deal is.”
“You just don't get it,” Kyle placed his head in his hands as he tried to keep his voice down. Why in the hell was this so difficult to explain? “We spent years, years , ready to kill each other and now what? We're supposed to just date?! ”
Pinching his nose, Stan let out a groan. “Yes, because you like each other. You're supposed to go out!”
How did one go from hating someone with every fiber of their very being to feeling as though the minute their gaze moved away from them the floor would drop from under them? How did Cartman go from being the bane of his existence, to slowly becoming what he thought about morning, noon, and day?
The whole thing rattled Kyle to his soul. This wasn't how love was supposed to be. He had seen it in his parents, in his friends and their partners. It didn't make any sense to him.
He must've been pondering aloud because just then Stan answered him. “It doesn't have to make sense, dude. Just go with what makes you happy.”
Those words stopped the runaway train of his thoughts. It doesn't have to make sense. Just go with what makes him happy.
Did Cartman make him happy? Kyle asked himself, and to his surprise, he knew the answer. It popped into his head immediately after, a resounding yes ringing from every angle.
Which is how that weekend found the two of them sat close together in the local theatre, some mediocre action flick playing on the screen.
It was a matinee, cheaper tickets and discounted popcorn deciding that for the two teens. Though Eric brought his own milkduds saying how ridiculous it was the place didn't sell candy. It was…awkward. Banter that had been easy and electric was stilted, like neither knew how to act now that this was a date .
Kyle counted the dimmed lights along the walls, trying to keep his focus on anything but the larger boy beside him. Normally he'd want to sit as far away as possible to get away from the fatass, but this was a different story. Just feeling Eric's arm touching his glued him to his spot, unwilling to lose that contact or seek anything further for fear for fucking this up.
He was sweaty and anxious, the room was air conditioned but felt far too warm, and some guy kept talking, and why in the fuck was Eric looking at him ? It felt like holes were being bored into the side of his skull, Eric's gaze resolutely not on the silver screen. Part of Kyle wished to look but his nerves took over.
Slowly, something inched up over Kyle's pinky finger, pudgy and warm. His eyes flicked down to see that Eric had begun to crawl his hand over, eventually taking Kyle's within his own.
Warmth bloomed into his face as Kyle finally turned his head. Eric, for his part, looked bashful as well, but there was still a spark in his eyes. Not even the darkness of the theatre could hide the mischief that was Eric Cartman.
“‘Bout time you looked over, Jewboy,” The smell of chocolate blew over Kyle's lips, and while he wasn't the largest fan of the stuff, today he found it intoxicating.
“What d’you-”
Kyle couldn't even get the sentence out before Eric brought his other hand over and gripped Kyle's chin, pressing rather soft lips into his. It was a quick thing, chaste really considering who Eric was as a person, but nonetheless it left the redhead breathless.
Kyle could still remember the taste of those milkduds, how they lingered far after the movie into dinner at that cozy Italian diner that no longer stood.
Hm . Even then, with the date not even being his idea, Eric had taken charge. Done something to move things along. He had done that through most of their relationship, actually.
The plump man had orchestrated many things- telling the parents, moving in together, his engagement ring, even their first bout of making love. He was right.
Eric had done most of the leg work. He had been the one making sure they did those wonderful things together. Eric had felt under appreciated. And that made Kyle feel like shit.
Despite any outward appearances, Kyle did cherish those same memories his soon-to-be husband did. He liked knowing that their history was rich with laughter and love, even arguments! It had led to where they were now, and would continue to do so into their future.
The wheels in Kyle's head turned, ideas shoving their way to the forefront. He could fix this. He would fix this.
His ears perked up, trying to listen for any signs of Eric leaving their bedroom. Being one for dramatics, he was sure to stay cooped up in there for quite a while. With that in mind, along with determination, Kyle stood and got to work.
***
“Kahl, I got some gay ass email. The whole thing did cancel…” Eric's voice trailed off as he stepped into the living room. He had ended up taking a nap, and with the dimming afternoon light and dark storm clouds the house was…well, dark. He would have expected Kyle to flip on any lights, but instead the living room was lit with only a few candles. The only source of electricity looked to be from the kitchen, its bright glow a stark contrast.
Keeping his steps light, Eric made his way into the other room. There at the stove, a dingy apron tied around his waist, was Kyle.
“Glad you could make it! Figured even mad you wouldn't stand me up,” Kyle said playfully, turning his head briefly before bringing his attention back to the pot on the burner.
“...What?”
“It's Saturday? You know, it's date night!”
Eric could only stand and stare at the man beginning to move around his kitchen. It wasn't odd to see Kyle cooking, but the fact that he seemed so chipper… He usually made a little bit of a fuss whenever they went out somewhere, and along with that they didn't actually have a date anymore. It was weird.
“...are you deaf or something? We don't have any plans anymore. There is no ‘date night.’”
“Not with that attitude! Now,” wiping hands on his apron, Kyle turned with a grin, “can you try this sauce for me real quick?”
With narrowed eyes, Eric approached. This all smelled… off. Whether it was in a good way or a bad way he wasn't sure, but Eric Cartman wasn't one to let his guard down. Gingerly, Kyle brought a wooden spoon full of red sauce to his lips.
“Touch of salt, but it's fine, I guess.” Eric eyed him warily, stepping back.
“Great! Now go sit. I'll bring things out in a minute.”
The dining room stood adjacent to their kitchen, and even before he entered Eric could see that just like the living room, it was lit by candles. A small vase of flowers sat in the center, familiar white blooms brightening up the space immensely.
Why did he do all this?
It only took another minute for Kyle to come in, two plates of pasta balanced on his arms as he set down some empty glasses. Everything smelled wonderful , and he said as such when Kyle finally sat down in his own chair.
“So are you going to explain what in the hell you're doing?” Eric said after a few bites, sitting back and crossing his arms. He watched as Kyle began to nervously finger the stem on his wine glass, eyes darting away.
“...I thought about what you said earlier, about appreciation.” Clearing his throat, the redhead sat up straighter and lifted his gaze. “I know that I haven't been as involved in planning things for you. You've been really going above and beyond for us since the beginning and I can see how you might think I don't care…
I do appreciate you . I appreciate how many memories you've given us.” Reaching across the table Kyle flipped his hand palm up, a silent question. “I want to- no, I will put in more effort if it means you know that.”
“And that's what this is? Some attempt to keep me happy?” Eric's voice was steely, but years of knowing him attuned Kyle's ears to the smallest of things. That little crack in his voice, so small it was almost unheard, slipped through.
Wiggling his fingers, Kyle allowed the corners of his lips to curl up every so slightly. “It's an ‘I'm sorry.’ And for the record, I did plan something for tonight, just for you.”
At those words Eric's eyes widened a smidge, his own frown wavering. Another waggle of his fingers and Kyle watched as, with fake reluctance, Eric brought his hand over and into his own.
“...Well, are you going to tell me or leave me hanging?”
The sound of his irritation actually made Kyle smile.
“It’s a little out of order,” he started, scratching the scruff on his chin, “but I figured we could recreate our first date.”
“At home?” Eric asked doubtfully. “That's not exactly what I would have done.”
“Well, this is my date for you. We always go out and while it is fun and all, sometimes I just want to spend time with just you.”
Eric thought on that for a moment. He loved the attention they garnered, adored showing off the love that was all his and no one else's, even if at times it was a little much for Kyle. Staying in just always felt so boring.
Perhaps, just perhaps, it wouldn't be so bad if Kyle had a hand in it.
The candles had burned low by the time they finished dinner. For once Kyle had insisted that dishes could wait, corralling his love onto the couch.
“To be honest I don't think I remember anything about this movie,” he said, flipping on the TV.
“Yeah, because it fucking sucked. Why do you think I kissed you?”
“Maybe if you would pay attention to something longer than 10 minutes you'd find that you'd enjoy it.” Reaching back, Kyle brought out a box with a rattling sound.
“Milkduds! Hell yeah!” Eric snatched the box away, tearing his chubby fingers into the corner flap. “You certainly know how to treat a guy!”
Kyle only hummed. With the opening score playing from the speakers and the patter of rain on the windows, he couldn't help but feel warm.
He had been a little afraid Eric would rebuff this whole thing. After all, when set on something there was no stopping the fat man from either carrying out what he wanted or bitching about it to no end.
The plot was contrived, Kyle could admit now that he tried to actually watch it. The characters were over the top and the action sequences were filled with bad CGI. As awful as it was, Kyle knew that the movie wasn't important here.
Much like Eric had all those years ago, Kyle edged his hand over, fingers searching until they found their target. He could hear the small chuckle from next to him, soft fingers intertwining within his with a practiced ease.
“Putting the moves on me, are ya?” With another snort, Eric leaned his head over a bit. “You'll have to do more than dinner and a movie to get laid, Broflovski.”
“Shhh, I'm trying to watch the movie. Can't hear anything over that fat mouth of yours.”
“My fat mouth? Meanwhile your ginger breath keeps wafting over here. I can't even enjoy a damn thing with you around!” Eric's teasing smile glinted in the low light of the candles.
As annoying as it was back when they were kids, this banter is what Kyle loved most. It was easy and wonderful, just like Eric.
“You know this movie would be so much better if they didn't cast absolute jackasses to play- What are you doing? ”
During the rant that was only just starting, Kyle reached over to take Eric's chin in hand. Wasting no time at all, he brought his lips down, relishing the taste of milk chocolate as his tongue dipped in.
This wasn't the same chaste kiss of that first date, Kyle made sure of that. His hand had quickly moved to Eric's neck, drawing the man closer with every smack of their lips. With the way he clinged to Kyle's shirt it was clear that things were going from playful to something much more intense, desperation oozing forth from the both of them.
Kissing like this always made Kyle feel like he was drowning in the sweetest waves. Breath came short but in its place something else far heavier, something filled with need.
Unfortunately that was when lightning cracked outside, thunder following quickly behind. The kitchen light flickered for a second, before complete darkness overtook the home. In the time it took them to get into the flick, the few candles left standing had already snuffed out, and with the TV off the pelting of the rain was all that could be heard.
“ Goddamn rain. It's ruined two things now.” Eric grumbled against Kyle's mouth, making the other man huff a laugh.
“Date night doesn't have to end here.”
“I told you it takes more than-”
“I wasn't going to suggest that,” Kyle left the unspoken not yet hang in the air for a second. “I was going to say we could grab a few more candles and just talk. We were good at that last I checked. Could even pull out one of those old board games while we're at it.”
“...I suppose that would be adequate.” Kyle heard Eric click his tongue, before a sinister giggle spilled out. “we could make it more interesting, if you're not scared.”
Kyle just knew the little smirk Eric would be wearing right about now. Shaking his head, he got up from the couch and grabbed his phone. Switching on the flashlight, he looked back with a grin. “We can make all the bets you want, but I'm still going to win regardless.”
“Just get ready to suck my balls, asshole,” with a grunt Eric stood and went to follow Kyle only to shove his way in front of him. “And by the way, Ms. Grandes isn't going to be too happy you took cuts from her rose bush. Harpy is worse about that shit than Mr. Garrison was.”
He was thankful for the lack of light hiding his flush. It was shameful to steal from some old ladies flower bed, but he knew Eric appreciated the gesture more because of it. If Kyle was willing to do even the smallest act of defiance, it meant something.
Eric may have loved the limelight, being out in public and showing off, but something told Kyle they'd have a few more nights like this in the future- nights filled with just the two of them. In fact, Kyle planned on it.