Work Text:
You wait for a silence, I wait for a word
Lie next to your frame, girl unobserved
You change your position and you are changing me
Casting these shadows where they shouldn't be
Now this, this was a pickle. The kind of pickle Yachi never thought she’d get herself into.
In a way, this was worse than wading through the forest of giants at the training camp, worse than making assumptions about Hinata, worse than not knowing someone’s name. This was one-on-one, in unfamiliar, uncharted waters, on the enemy’s home turf. Yachi was going to walk right into the belly of the beast of her own volition, because she was too caught off guard to come up with an excuse.
“You’re going to Tsukishima’s house?” Hinata says over the phone, practically shouts. “Why?”
Yachi rolls onto her side, cocooning herself in her comforter. “I didn’t mean to!” she says. “I just wanted to make a study plan, get some help with Japanese Lit, and then…and then…fwoosh! He caught me by surprise!”
“Don’t go,” Hinata warns. “It’s probably a trap. He’s going to kill and eat you for your smarts.”
Um, that may be a little far, even with my imagination. “We’re just going to study together,” she says, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. “The two of us. Alone.” Her stomach swoops. “Oh god, what if he does try to kill me?”
“Tell him you’re sick,” Hinata suggests. “If you look really anxious at practice you can easily pass off as not feeling well.”
“Ah, that’s…a little dishonest, isn’t it?” Yachi says. “Maybe it won’t be so bad. Tsukishima-kun is difficult, but I don’t think he’s a bad person.”
“He’s a jerk,” Hinata agrees. “But…he’s smart. And you’re smart. You could bond over that?”
“Well, we do need to make up a tutoring schedule for you and Kageyama-kun,” Yachi reminds him. Hinata makes a retching noise on the other end. “Come on,” Yachi laughs. “It won’t be that bad.”
“It will be,” Hinata grumbles. “But anyway, Tsukishima is never mean to you, so you’re probably fine. If anything, I think he’s scared of you.”
Yachi says goodnight to Hinata not long after that, still turning his words over in her head. Tsukishima, nearly 190 centimeters, afraid of her, Yachi, not even 160 centimeters? That was absurd. And yet, Hinata had a way of understanding people and emotions intuitively, despite his academic weaknesses. If he believed Tsukishima was afraid of her, maybe he really was. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Yachi rolls onto her back wrapping her arms around a pillow. Why did Tsukishima have to be so difficult to read? On the surface, he was like Hinata said. Snarky and mean-spirited, silver-tongued with insults. But there were moments that Yachi could see through that façade. The desire to win—he had that, just as Hinata did. The urge to better himself—well, that was growing in him, stronger every day since the training camp. And he was smart, so smart. He used his head far more than any of the other Karasuno boys. Yachi thinks he doesn’t get enough credit for thinking as much as he does.
And even though Yachi was smart like him, he could still catch her off guard.
“Ah, Tsukishima-kun!” she had called out to him, as lunch break began. She can remember the way he stopped and turned, regarded her with those analytical eyes, and waved Yamaguchi on.
“Yes?” he had said, polite but curt. The dichotomy between his tone and his formal speech gave Yachi the impression that he didn’t know how to handle her.
“Um, I know you’ve been tutoring Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun and…” A frown, the narrowing of his eyes. “And…since there are some big tests coming up, I wanted to know if you’d like to come up with a study schedule. For tutoring them. If you’d like.”
Tsukishima tilted his head. “Well, it’s a hassle to deal with those morons, so I’d like to have as little interaction with them as possible.”
Yachi swallowed, gathering her courage and bowing deeply. That got a reaction; Tsukishima shifted, unsure of how to deal with her plea. “Please,” she said. “They’re not…the brightest. They really need our help, and I’m really no good with Japanese Lit, so I can’t do it all myself.”
Tsukishima coughed. “I don’t get any kind of payback from helping them, though. I don’t care if they succeed or fail, and they can’t help me with calculus, so—”
Yachi brightened. “W-Well! I could help you with calculus! I’m really good at math.”
Tsukishima stared at her, eyes wide.
“If you tutor them with me, I’ll help you with calculus,” Yachi offered.
Tsukishima groaned. “Ah, I suppose I can’t pass up a deal like that.” He had looked at her, something curious in his eyes. “You’re surprisingly devious, Yachi-san.”
“Devious!” Yachi exclaimed.
“Not many people can back me into a corner,” Tsukishima said, putting his hands on his hips.
“I-I want to help them, though,” Yachi said. Then, mumbling, “And….and I could also…use help with my Japanese Lit.”
“If it’s you, then I don’t mind,” Tsukishima said, snorting. “You’re not a loud-mouthed idiot. Come to my house tomorrow, we can study and…make a tutoring schedule. I guess.”
Yachi gaped. Flapped her mouth open and closed. “Yes?” she squeaked. And then it was over. The longest conversation she’d ever had with Tsukishima ended in her agreeing to show up at his house, just like that.
“It’s just Tsukishima,” Yachi mumbles to herself, squeezing her pillow tightly. “Just another Karasuno team member, no one to be afraid of.”
We're interrupted by the heat of the sun
Trying to prevent what's already begun
You're just a body, I can smell your skin
And when I feel it, you're wearing thin
The next day at practice, Yachi can’t take her eyes off Tsukishima.
It’s not that she’s partial to him or anything, it’s just that if she stares at him long enough, maybe she’ll be able to parse out the fact that not only had he agreed to her demands, but even invited her over to study, despite limited interactions and her own insistence. Wasn’t she annoying? Wouldn’t he rather be rid of her? What was going on?
She watches the bunching of his calves and thighs when he leaps into a block. She watches the movements of his eyes as he reads through the setter’s plan, translating it into a kill of the spiker’s attack. She watches the slide of sweat down his temples and how he lifts his shirt to wipe at some sweat on his chin.
“Hitoka-chan?” Kiyoko says for what must be the third or fourth time.
Yachi jumps, saluting her senpai, ears and cheeks burning. “Yes! Sorry!”
Kiyoko follows her line of sight. “Has Tsukishima-kun done something out of line to you?” she asks.
Yachi blushes harder. “He invited me over to study.”
Kiyoko blinks.
“That’s weird, isn’t it?” Yachi blurts out. “That’s totally weird for him!”
On the court, Tsukishima slams down another one of Hinata’s spikes with a sneer. He taunts Hinata into bristling and trying to hurl himself across the net, only Kageyama’s arms hooked under his shoulders holding him back. Kiyoko and Yachi watch the exchange, then look at each other.
“It’s really weird,” Yachi says.
“Perhaps,” Kiyoko says. “Or perhaps he just feels at ease with you?”
Yachi shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s the case. He doesn’t know how to speak to me at all, I can tell.”
“Well, that’s probably just because you’re a cute girl,” Kiyoko points out.
“Senpai,” Yachi sputters.
Kiyoko grins. “I’m not wrong, am I? Tsukishima may keep to himself, but he’s not immune to cute girls. He’s a teenage boy, just like Tanaka-kun or Nishinoya-kun, just less obnoxious.”
“But then why invite me to his house? We could just study at school!” Yachi asks desperately.
“Like I said,” Kiyoko says. “He feels at ease around you. You’re smart and clear-headed when you’re focused. You’re a steady rock in the reckless mob of crows. I’m not surprised he feels drawn to you.”
Drawn to me. “M-Maybe…” Yachi says. Drawn to me. “Still makes me feel uneasy, though.”
“Tsukishima-kun has that effect on people,” Kiyoko agrees. “But Yamaguchi-kun adores him. Why do you think that is?”
Yachi shakes her head.
Kiyoko shrugs. “I don’t know either. You might find out if you spend time with him, though.”
Tsukishima is scared of her, Tsukishima feels at ease around her…which one was it? After consulting her two best friends, Yachi still had no idea what to make of Tsukishima’s invitation. But with practice winding down and the team doing cool down stretches, she didn’t have much time to think it over. Hinata shoots her a significant look that says you could still escape. But if Yachi runs now, she’ll never understand the conundrum that is Tsukishima Kei.
She follows Kiyoko out onto the court, scooping up volleyballs and putting them into the basket. To her right, Kageyama and Hinata argue with Ukai about practicing longer. Sugawara and Yamaguchi take down the volleyball net. Yachi picks up some of the extra water bottles and kneepads discarded by the players, carrying them to the storage room.
Crap. Well, she should have seen this coming. The spare equipment was supposed to be on the upper shelf, and being short that was…not an ideal situation. Yachi stands on her tiptoes, poking her tongue out and attempting to push the water bottle over the edge of the shelf. She nearly has it over the edge when it slips from her grasp, coming tumbling onto her head.
She squeezes her eyes shut and tenses, but the water bottle never makes impact. She peeks open her eyes and sees a massive hand stretched over her head, holding the water bottle. She flips around to see Tsukishima, raising an eyebrow at her.
“I can get these,” he says. “Let the tall people do this kind of thing for you.” He takes the kneepads and second water bottle from her. “Even if you’re the manager, we don’t want you getting hurt trying to keep from troubling other people with tasks that are difficult for you.”
“Sorry!” she squeaks. This squeaking seems to be an unfortunate trend.
She hadn’t realized how big Tsukishima’s hands were either, until now. When he took the kneepads from her, she was able to see how his hands might engulf her smaller ones. Even in the relative dark of the storeroom, she can see how her skin is a few shades darker than his, and how long his fingers are.
Must be useful for blocking, she thinks. Though I wouldn’t want to hold his hand. My hand might get swallowed whole!
“See you later,” Tsukishima says, leaving.
Yachi’s throat catches and she doesn’t have the chance to say goodbye back to him.
Sat on your sofa, it's all broken springs
This isn't the place for those violin strings
I try out a smile and I aim it at you
You must have missed it, you always do
Her fist trembles above the wood of the Tsukishima’s door. She’s been here a whole five minutes and still hasn’t gathered the courage to knock. What if she just left? Tsukishima wouldn’t even have to know she was here. She could make up some excuse, lie about being sick like Hinata had said.
I’m not surprised he feels drawn to you.
Yachi knocks, five times in rapid succession, before she has the chance to overthink the situation any more. Behind the door, she hears the thump of footsteps down stairs, and she jerks back when the door swings in to reveal—holy moly, since when did Tsukishima smile? And where were his glasses?
“Oh, you’re cute!” Tsukishima Akiteru says. “Don’t tell me such a cute girl is here to see my uncute brother?”
“B-b-brother?” Yachi stutters.
“So you are here to see Kei!” Akiteru exclaims. “I’m his older brother, Akiteru.”
“Brother…” Yachi says weakly.
“Kei!” Akiteru calls into the recesses of the house. “There’s a really cute girl here to see you!”
“I could hear you just fine,” Tsukishima says, walking down the stairs. “Would you mind not scaring Yachi-san immediately?”
For the first time in her life, Yachi feels relieved to see Tsukishima. She holds out the books in her arms as an olive branch. “I brought study materials!” she says.
“This way,” Tsukishima says, gesturing upstairs with a nod. “Don’t mind Niichan, he’s just annoying.”
“Kei, I’m hurt,” Akiteru says, clutching at his chest. He winks at Yachi. Tsukishima makes a disgusted noise. Yachi bows shallowly to Akiteru and then, taking off her shoes, pads after Tsukishima.
Having seen Hinata and Kageyama’s messes they called rooms, Yachi isn’t prepared for the cleanliness of Tsukishima’s bedroom. Where she had seen papers scattered and crumpled, there are folders and neat stacks of paper, cups for pens, and labeled shelves. Where there had been dirty socks and shirts, there was a covered laundry basket and clothing on hangars. Even Tsukishima’s jacket from today’s practice was neatly draped over his desk chair.
Yachi slides to her knees, kneeling in the center of this tidy room and peering around. On Tsukishima’s wall, a poster of various species of sharks. On his shelves, plastic dinosaurs of different shapes and sizes. And then Tsukishima himself, rubbing the back of his neck and not meeting her eyes.
“Sorry I don’t have a table or anything,” he says. “You can sit at my desk if you want.”
“Ah, that’s okay,” Yachi says, looking at her hands. “If we’re going to study together, we should be sitting together, anyway.”
“That’s fair,” Tsukishima agrees and slides to the floor next to her.
“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Yachi says, struggling for conversation now that Tsukishima was so close to her.
“I never talked about him,” Tsukishima says. “He tries to embarrass me, constantly.”
“You must have a pretty good relationship,” Yachi says, smiling. “He seems to love you very much.”
“We’ve had rough spots,” Tsukishima says. “But I guess you could say we’re close.” His eyes are gold, lovely even when clouded with a painful memory. Yachi thinks she should maybe worry that she’s touched on something sensitive, but when Tsukishima has a knee pulled to his chest and a long arm wrapped around it, she can only think he looks magnificent and young.
“It must be nice to have someone who’s always in your court,” she says, smiling. “I always wanted a sibling.”
“You can have him,” Tsukishima mutters, and Yachi laughs into her hand.
Tsukishima’s looking at her. She squeaks. “Yes?!”
Tsukishima looks away. “It’s nothing. What did you need help in?”
“Ah,” Yachi says. She opens up her textbook to the short story they had been reading in class. “I guess I just can’t ever tell what the author’s purpose is in writing a story…I kind of get how the main character has changed and why that’s important, but—”
“Human nature,” Tsukishima says.
“Eh?”
“When in doubt, figure out how it is an essay on human nature,” Tsukishima explains. “That’s always what authors are trying to talk about in literature. How man interacts with others of his kind, how he interacts with nature, how he interacts with himself. Sure, there may be other purposes, such as political or environmental statements, but in the end everything comes back to a commentary on human nature.”
“Oh, I see!” Yachi says. “Even in the other short stories we’ve read, I think that would be applicable. Tsukishima-kun, you’re so smart!”
“Not really,” Tsukishima mutters. “Once you figure that out it’s pretty easy.”
“I could really say the same about calculus though,” Yachi says. Tsukishima is looking at her again. She waves her hands frantically. “Not that I’m calling you stupid or anything! It just makes sense to me!”
“I doubt you’re capable of being mean to anyone, Yachi-san,” Tsukishima says, peeking over the top of his knee. “You’re consistently kind and thoughtful towards everyone, even the team idiots.”
“Wh-what are you saying…” Yachi sputters. “You’re too kind.”
Tsukishima snorts, almost a laugh. “I doubt many people would use ‘kind’ as an adjective to describe me.”
“You’re kind to me,” Yachi says softly.
There’s a long pause. Tsukishima coughs. “Anyway, I don’t really understand how to use an integral in this situation…”
“Right!” Yachi says. “Ah, in that situation, you would…”
Tsukishima is a fast learner. Of course, given his class and his apparent intelligence, Yachi should have expected that, but it was refreshing to tutor someone who could understand the material easily and only needed a review and secondary explanation to grasp the concepts. Hinata and Kageyama, by comparison, took several tries and had horrible focus. Tsukishima focused in on learning with such intent, Yachi wondered why he didn’t take this same concentration with him onto the court. His diligent face, too, was very nice to look at, his frown lines smoothed and eyes bright.
Yachi was starting to understand what Yamaguchi saw in Tsukishima, at least aesthetically.
Nononono, now was not the time to be realizing that her classmates were probably right when they talked about how gorgeous Tsukishima was, not when he was so close and they were alone, in his bedroom, oh god. This was a horrible time to develop a crush on a teammate.
“Yachi-san?” Tsukishima says.
“Yes! No!” she says. “I mean, I was thinking we should probably make up a schedule for tutoring Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun.”
“Must we?” Tsukishima groans, stretching his arms above his head. They make a satisfying pop.
“You promised,” Yachi reminds him.
“So I did,” Tsukishima sighs. “If that’s what you want me to do, I suppose we can make up a tutoring schedule.”
If that’s what you want me to do. “You’d do this for me?” Yachi blurts out.
Tsukishima seems to realize what he said and looks pointedly away from her. “Well, yeah. You’re going to help me out again with calculus, aren’t you? I have to pay you back somehow.”
Yachi feels a smile break out across her face. She giggles, just a little. “You actually are very kind, aren’t you, Tsukishima-kun?”
“Oi,” Tsukishima says. “Don’t go around telling people I’m nice.”
“Alright,” Yachi agrees. “It’ll be our secret.” Her heart is beating very, very fast.
She pulls out her schedule planner and starts to talk about what she had envisioned their tutoring being like. They could trade off weekends having Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun over for longer study sessions. She didn’t want it to be too much trouble for Tsukishima-kun and Yamaguchi-kun, so they’d limit the amount of tutoring during the week. They would do extra tutoring after school and during lunch breaks before a big exam, to make sure they knew what was expected of them.
“Also, I think this would work as extra studying for us, too, since the material overlaps, so hopefully you’re okay with this arrangement—”
Thunk.
Something warm and soft collapses heavily against Yachi’s shoulder. She nearly jumps at the contact, but manages to hold still. Tsukishima leans into her, unconscious and breathing deeply.
Yachi remembers suddenly that today’s practice was an actual practice match. Of course Tsukishima would be exhausted. He had to think and block and run and jump all over the place to keep up with Hinata. Of course he would fall asleep.
“If you were going to be this tired, you didn’t have to invite me over,” Yachi says into Tsukishima’s hair. He’s warm and heavy, but not in an unpleasant way. His hair tickles her ear.
She reaches over with her other arm to brush away the strands of his hair but pauses. For someone as prickly as Tsukishima, he sure did have soft hair. She pets his hair, just a little, running fingers through the curls. So soft…not dyed then, but natural…
She flushes pink but doesn’t stop stroking his hair. Tsukishima is so gentle like this, a sleeping giant, and Yachi is the only one privy to this vulnerability about him. It’s an exciting feeling. A powerful feeling. She knows Hinata would love to stumble across a sleeping Tsukishima for completely different reason than to observe his peacefulness.
Tsukishima needn’t worry though. Yachi would never use the knowledge of what his sleeping face looks like for evil.
Tsukishima makes a snuffling sound and moves closer to her hand. Yachi smiles. Tsukishima’s brother was a little wrong about him, she thinks. He could be very cute.
“Kei! Is Yachi-san staying for dinner?”
Akiteru’s voice jolts Yachi from her trance and causes her to literally jolt in place, which in turn dislodges Tsukishima, who comes awake with wild flailing and knocks into Yachi, who doesn’t have an arm out to support her…
The next thing she knows, Yachi is on her back, hands over her head and Tsukishima’s arms on either side of her.
His eyes are wide, glasses sliding down his face. It’s as endearing as it is alarming. Yachi can see the rise and fall of her own chest and hear the frightened pitter-patter of her heartbeat. Her mind is completely blank. Tsukishima is very, very close.
“S-sorry,” Tsukishima says. “Here, let me help you up, I’m sorry—”
Tsukishima stuttering? Did she do that? Did she put that stutter in his voice?
“Kei!”
“Shut up, Niichan!” Tsukishima calls out, his voice cracking. He looks to Yachi, his neck flushed. “Yachi-san, I’m so—”
“It’s okay,” she says, her voice surprisingly steady. “I know it was an accident. I jumped and woke you up, anyway.”
Tsukishima groans and covers his face. “I fell asleep on you,” he says.
“You were really tired.”
“I want to die.”
“You have a cute sleeping face.”
It’s Yachi’s turn to cover her mouth. Tsukishima’s eyes are comically wide. Yachi hopes someone will pinch her and wake her up soon so she can escape from this nightmare.
“Um,” she says. “I didn’t tell my mom I’d be staying for dinner, so maybe I should go…”
“Yeah…” Tsukishima says.
She gathers her things, still blushing, and follows Tsukishima to the door. Akiteru spies them from the kitchen and makes a disappointed sound. “Leaving so soon? Aw, but I like seeing Kei get all flustered.”
“Die,” Tsukishima chokes out.
“Come again, Yachi-san,” Akiteru says, laughing and waving a ladle.
Tsukishima opens the door for Yachi and she puts on her shoes delicately. “I understand if you don’t want to,” Tsukishima starts, voice low so Akiteru can’t overhear them, “but I hope you’ll come by again to study.”
Yachi stands, smiles shyly at her shoes. “I would like that,” she says. “And…and! Really, it’s okay.”
She walks by him, out the door and into the cool night air. She’s taken not even two steps outside when Tsukishima catches her hand and pulls her back. She spins, mouth parted in alarm, and then Tsukishima is closer to her than he had ever been before. He kisses the corner of her mouth and lets her go.
Yachi’s fingers move to her mouth without thinking. She brushes her lips and the place Tsukishima kissed her, eyes wide. He covers his mouth with the back of his hand. “That was…a bit forward of me,” he says. “Yachi-san, I—”
“It’s okay,” Yachi says, smiling. “I meant it when I said it was okay.” She scuffs her foot in the dirt. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tsukishima-kun.”
She turns on her heel, smiling bigger and bigger until she thinks her face will break open. Her hand tingles where Tsukishima had grabbed her. She thinks she might like to hold his hand, after all.
But I've got a plan
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay
Why don't you be the writer
And decide the words I say
'Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?