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Raph's patience test
It was supposed to be a normal day. A regular Tuesday in the lair: Leo practicing with his katanas, Donnie creating another gadget ( which would explode), Mikey skateboarding and eating pizza, and Raph... sulking in a corner or lifting weights... Or chasing Mikey( the last one very strong connected with Mikey's mood).
However, Master Splinter had other plans. He knew that Raphael was able to fight,stategise and that he loved and protected his Brothers. But the fiery temper of his son was...well, as explosive as a volcano. ( One time, recently, Raph lost one of his Sais. Consequences? The arcade machine upside down, the living room and the turtles' bedrooms a war zone, and Raph growling like a rabbid dog ( Splinter really mistook him for a rabbid dog). So, naturally, Master Splinter summoned his four sons in the dojo to discuss with them.
In the dojo, the four turtles sat down, their master pacing in front of them, his staff pounding barely on the tatami floor. His whiskers twitched as he looked at each of his sons.
Master Splinter (calm): Raphael, my son. I want to talk to you about your temper.
Raph: My temper is fine.
Master Splinter: You punched the microwave three days ago.
Raph (defending): It looked at me funny!
Master Splinter: And what about when you threw Michelangelo across the room yesterday?
Raph: Master, he threw a water ballon at me.
Master Splinter (stroking his beard): You need to learn patience. You need to control your temper. Remember, the anger clouds your judgement.
Raph (rolled his eyes): Yeah,yeah, I'll try.
Master Splinter: To help you, I have devised a challenge. For the next 24 hours, Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo will do everything in their power to annoy you... On purpose.
Raph (eyes wide): What? Sensei, ya can't do this!
Master Splinter: Oh, but I will, Raphael. And during your test, you can't yell, threat or hit your brothers.
Raph's soul left his body.
From their places, Leo, Donnie and Mikey smirked like some cartoon villains.
Mikey ( already enjoying this challenge): Oh, this is so good. Do you hear, Raphie? We can annoy you, and you can't punch us!
Raph (to his master): Please, tell me this is a nightmare.
Master Splinter: The test begins now.
As if on cue, the clock was exactly 9 AM.
Raph: This is gonna be the worst day of my life.
Mikey ( to Leo and Donnie): This is gonna be the best day of our lives.
Hour 1: The Bug-scare ( 10 AM)
Everything was peacefull. To peacefull for a sewer lair occupied by four teenage mutant ninja turtles. It should have been a sign, a Red flag for Raph. But did Raph payed attention to it? No.
The red-banded turtle was sitting on the tire-swing from the main area, arms crossed, trying to breathe through the growing storm of frustration in his chest.
Then, Mikey slid in the main area, his hands clenched together, excited as a kid in the Christmas day.
Mikey(sweet, sing-sang Voice):Oh , Raphie...
Raph (under his breath): Don't punch him in Dimension X, don't punch him in Dimension X, don't...
Mikey( on the edge of the floor next to the water): I have a gift for you, bro.
Raph (raising an eyebrow):What's the catch?
Mikey( innocent): Who, me?
Raph (pointing an accusing finger at Mikey): Yeah, ya. Ya'll always plottin' somethin'.
Mikey (tapping his chin): Not this time ...or maybe...
Raph (narrowing his eyes): Mikey, don't ya dare...
Mikey: CATCH!
Mikey threw a cockroach to Raph... and the cockroach landed exactly on Raph's thigh.
Raph's acide-green eyes went HUGE.
Raph (screaming): AAAHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
The red banded turtle fell of the tire-swing, straight in the water below with a loud SPLASH.
Mikey: Ha! Doctor Prankenstein strikes again!
Raph, soaked, slowly exited the water. He wipped the water from his eyes and squeezed out the water from his red bandana.
Raph: Ya..ya..ya little...
Leo (popping up right next to him, whispering in Raph's ear): Just 23 hours ,Raph.
Raph's eyes twitched. His fists clenched. But he sighed and walked away.
Mikey and Leo high-fived.
Hour 4: The Psychology speech ( 1 PM)
Raph was in the kitchen, eating some pizza. After the ,,shower" from that morning, he tried and avoided his brothers as much as he could. Keyword: tried, because the fate ( aka, his brothers) had other plans.
While Raph was peacefully eating his lunch(and thinking about how to NOT punch his brothers), Donnie appeared in the kitchen, holding a stack of papers in his hands, glasses on ( borrowed), white lab coat on , and looking serious and ready to give a TED talk.
Donnie (adjusting his glasses): Hello, Raphael.
Raph (groaning): What now?
Donnie: I did a research about anger and I wrote a 7000 words thesis about anger: causes, symptoms,effects, consequences and solution: anger management.
Raph (staring): Ya must be kiddin' me..
Donnie (serious as a lawyer at court): Do you want to hear my thesis?
Raph: I say pass.
Donnie ignored him and started reading loud.
Raph ate his pizza slice and looked at Donnie, waiting for the purple-banded turtle to take a pause, or even better, to stop. After all, the thesis had 7000 words, and Donnie's voice would get hoarse from all that reading loud. After the first page, Raph was fed enough and walked away. And Donnie followed him. Everywhere. Raph went in the dojo to practice with his sais; Donnie went after him, reading. Raph went in the main area to punch the punching bag; Donnie followed him there and continued to read.
At the third page, Raph's left eye was twitching. At the fifth page, he considered throwing himself in the sewers. At the seventh page, he considered leaving the lair and joining a monastery as a monk.
Finally, after 8 pages of torture, ..er, psychological analyse, Donnie finished reading his thesis.
Donnie: ..and this is the conclusion.
Raph (relieved): Thanks Shell...
Donnie: Also, I have written a 10 000 words thesis about turtles and their evolution over time. I can read you the thesis tomorrow.
Raph screamed into a pillow. Donnie smirked.
Hour 6: The metal-solo (3 PM)
This time, the red-banded turtle choose another tactic: he went into his room. Nobody in the entire lair dared to enter there ( except for Mikey, who never learns). So naturally, Raph hoped to have peace and maybe to take a nap.
The hot-headed turtle longed on the bed, arms behind head, slowly relaxing.
Raph(to himself): Finally, some peace and..
BANG!
The door of his bedroom was kicked open. And there he was: Leo, his leader, his eldest brother, the most responsable brother ... holding two frying pans, one in each hand , and wearing sunglasses over his sapphire blue bandana and his smug smirk on his face. Yes, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, underground.
Raph nearly jumped out of his shell.
Raph: Oh Shell.. NO.
Leo: YES.
Raph: NO, NO, NO!
Leo: OH, HECK YES!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Leo was banging the pans together with the enthusiasm of a one-man(turtle) metal concert.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Raph was covering his ears, while Leo was now doing a pan-solo. Donnie and Mikey popped up at the door, looking at the show.
Donnie ( genuinely impressed): The commitment is admirable.
Mikey (excited): KEEP GOING, LEO!
Raph (took a deep breath): Why?
Leo (banging the pans): For test's sake.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Raph (dangerously low voice, a small smirk across his face): Leo, what would Sensei say 'bout yer concert? (then, mimicking Splinter): ,, Leonardo, I am deeply disapointed by your actions."
Mikey (gasping): Oh, snap! Raph's playing the sentimental card!
Leo (smirking, pausing for a few moments): Nice try Raph, but Sensei told us to do everything in our power to annoy you. Plus,I warned him before, he agreed and now uses earpluggs, so these( Leo lifted the pans) won't give me problems.
Raph's smirk vanished.
Donnie: Oh man, Leo is really commited to this.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Raph: I'm gonna throw ya and these pans in the sewers!
Leo (grins wider): But you won't.
BANG! BANG!
Mikey (to Donnie): Raph's holding up better than I thought.
Donnie: Just give him time.
Hour 10 (7 PM): The Ceiling Stalker
Raph had escaped. Or so he tought. While he walked on the hallway near the tire-swing, he heard a whisper.
From above: Pssst, Raph.
Raph looked up. He froze.
Mikey was on the ceiling, gripping the pipes like some deranged gremlin.
Mikey: I SEE EVERYTHING.
Raph (pointing at Mikey with the index finex): Mikey! Get down from there!
Mikey: Nah, dude. I live here now.
Raph grabbed the nearest object ( a wrench) and threw it at Mikey.
The freckled turtle dodged easily and started dancing Macarena while singing some songs about being the ,,king of the ceiling".
Mikey: 14 hours left, bro!
Raph glared at him, considered murder and walked away.
Hour 13 (10 PM): The Night Attack from the sewers
His brothers had to sleep in one point. Right?
Raph went to bed, ready to sleep peacefully and away from his brothers. But Leo, Donnie and Mikey weren't having it.
Mikey was sitting on Raph's bed, playing kazoo.
Donnie screeched a plat with a fork.
Leo just stared at Raph, making the hot-head feeling uncomfortable.
Raph (growling): Get away from my room.
Mikey (sing-voice): But we love you!
Raph: I don't love ya right now!
Leo: Raph, we both know that's not true.
Raph grabbed one of his sais.
Donnie (holding the timer ): 11 hours left.
Raph put the sais down.
Hour 20: The turtle Pan-phony (5 AM, next day)
Raph was sleeping in his bed, not aware of the what was going to happen next.
BANG!
Raph shot up from his bed, even falling of it. His door was burst open, and his brothers stood there armed with frying pans, sunglasses (Leo) , Rock- n- Roll band t-shirts and bandanas over their bandanas, tied on their foreheads ( Mikey, thinking he'll be a cool Rambo).
Raph (yelling, frustrated): WHAT THE SHELL ARE YA DOIN' IN MY ROOM?
Donnie: We're starting a band.
Mikey (way to excited about this): We call us ,,The Metal Turtles"!
Raph (even more frustrated): IT'S 5 IN DAMN MORNIN' !ARE YA OUTTA YER MINDS?
Leo (zen, calm,ignoring Raph's yells): Okay team, let's rehearse!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Mikey ( joining with vocals): I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN THE BARBIE WORLD!
Donnie(not to be outdone): I'm a Little teapot, short and stout!
Leo (banging the frying pans): BANG! BANG! BANG!
Raph: I'LL BURY YA IN THE SEWERS!
Leo: Nuh-uh, Raph. Remember what Sensei said: no yelling, no threating and no violence.
Raph (mutters): I hate all of ya.
Hour 22 (7 AM): The Ceiling Stalker strikes again
Raph's left eye was twitching. Heat was radiating from him from all his fury. He sat on the couch, glaring at the turned off TV, arms crossed.
Raph (to himself): 2 hours, Raph. Just 2 more hours of torture, then ya'll be a free turtle.
Thwack!
A pen fall from the ceiling and hit Raph's head.
Raph: The shell was that?
He picked the pen that fell on his head and looked at the ceiling.
Mikey and Leo were now on the ceiling, gripping the pipes like spiders.
Raph: YA AGAIN?!
Leo ( now hanging upside-down like a lunatic bat from the pipes): Hi, Raph! Did you believe that you can get away from us so easy?
Mikey: HI, RAPHIE!
Raph was losing it. He growled.
Raph ( to himself): Don't kill 'em, don't kill 'em, don't...
Mikey threw a rubber chicken on Raph, which bounced of his head.
Raph (roaring): MIKEY!
Both Leo and Mikey vanished on the shadows of the ceiling, and for the next hour, they threw pencils, rubber chickens, notebooks, and even toys on Raph.
And from time to time, Leo whispered in Raph's ear ,,I'm watching you " , then vanished again on the ceiling; the red banded-turtle never caught Leo, but instead,got freaked out a bit.
Raph screamed internally in frustration.
Hour 23 to 24 ( 8 to 9 AM): The final boss
Raph looked done with life. He sat on the tatami floor, in silence, in dojo. The others peeked up from the dojo door.
Mikey: Raph? Hey, Raph! Bro?
Donnie (to Leo): Did we broke him?
Leo (doubting): Maybe he learned patience?
Master Splinter entered the dojo, walked and stopped in front of Raph.
Raph: Master, please, tell 'em to stop.
Master Splinter ( stroking his beard): Oh, Raphael, but I come to test you myself.
Raph's stomach dropped.
The others snickered.
Master Splinter ( sitting beside him): Do you remember the time when you were five? You sang... ,,I'm a Little teapot" , if I remember right the song's name.
Raph stared.
Master Splinter: Or the time all four of you were 7 and watched that musical? You cried on Michelangelo's teddy bear.
Raph's both eyes twitched.
Raph: Why are ya bringing this up?
Master Splinter (smirking): Because it annoys you.
Mikey (gasping): DUDES, SENSEI PLAYS HARD!
Donnie and Leo high-fived.
Raph stood up.
Raph: Please, stop.
Master Splinter (not giving up): Or do you remember the time when you were 9 and wore pink socks and a pink glittering tutu?
Mikey was GONE. He laughed so hard, that his entire body was convulsing from laughter and tears streaked down his cheeks.
Leo burst out laughing, leaning against the door frame for support, and still trying not to fall on the floor.
Donnie snorted and tried not to cry from laughter ( spoiler:he failed).
Raph's face turned red as a fire truck.
Leo (whispered): 10 seconds.
Master Splinter (counting the time left): 4 ,..3 , ...2 ...1..
Timer: 00: 00: 00
Raph ( blinked slowly): It's over?
Master Splinter: Yes, Raphael. You passed the test, my son.
Raph walked away from the dojo, in perfect silence. His brothers watched stunned, worried in a measure.
Mikey:Guys...
Donnie: Something is very wrong.
The three turtles walked in the main area. And at the same time, Raph emerged from the kitchen, holding a chair.
Leo (eyes wide): Oh, shell...
Mikey sprinted at demonic speed.
Mikey: MAY-DAY! EVERY TURTLE FOR HIMSELF!
Donnie (screaming, bolting): HE'S GONE FERAL!
Raph yeeted the chair across the lair. It barely missed Mikey's shell.
Mikey(shriking): THAT WAS ATTEMPTED MURDER!
Raph (roared, grabbing another chair): YOU DESERVE IT!
Leo vaulted over the couch.
Leo (trying to mediate the conflict): Okay, but look how patient you were—
Raph hurled the chair at him.
At that moment, April and Casey entered the lair. Three green blurs rushed past them onto the tunnels.
Donnie: RUN! RAPH LOST IT!
The humans stopped in thier places, blinked, and Raph run past them, holding a new chair and roaring, chasing his brothers.
April (confused): What's going on?
Casey: No idea, Red. But seems like a typical day.
Master Splinter sat on the dojo and sipped his tea.
Master Splinter: Ah. Balance has been restored.
From tunnels:
Raph: GET BACK HERE, YA COWARD PUNKS!
Mikey: AAAHHH!
Leo: WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!
CRASH!
Donnie: RUN!
The End