Chapter Text
A fear unlike anything I had ever felt before coursed through me the second I felt the familiar burn of the transformation taking place. A fear that swallowed me whole, almost like drowning.
The lodgers weren’t supposed to know, and now all my sins, all my monsters were on display. All my deceit.
Deceit? Have I really been the deceiver this whole time? Had I been the true monster that has been hiding in plain sight and not Edward Hyde?
I could feel the eyes of the lodgers, some looking on with scientific interest. Others well, looking on in pure horror at the display.
As the all too familiar Green of the HJ7 pored from my face and Hyde’s blonde hair turned to my brown. I was helpless and vulnerable.
Then I remembered Lanyon, everything I just worked so hard to restore was now…lost. How could he ever look at me the same? How could I even explain what he was witnessing?
My life’s dream had once again been ruined by the presence of Hyde. Or had they once again been ruined by me? The line between such thing was blurry.
As I had taken over full control of my body, I didn’t dare look anyone in the face. How could I? What could I even say?
Maybe I could have been honest from the start, maybe I should’ve been. But how could I have been honest when my life’s dream was at stake?
Though I didn’t look her in the face, I knew that Frankenstein was looking at me like a new science experiment. A new thing for her to dissect and study. I have never felt so small.
I squirm uncomfortably in the chair that I was tied to under her gaze. But I dare not look at her and I most of all dare not look at Robert.
No one was ever supposed to know! This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go!
I could feel myself get swallowed whole by my panic and depression. I failed, I was supposed to be the leader they trusted, I was supposed to be the perfect model of a gentleman. And now, well now they know that Hyde is me and I… well sadly I am Edward Hyde.
Why was it that I could never have one thing that I wanted? Why did all my dreams come to die? Why did I always have to be the one that ended up being hated?
Maybe I was the screw up and not Hyde. Maybe, just maybe, the line between good and bad had never existed at all. That thought scared me.
All these years I had thought that I was the one that could do no wrong, that I was the one knew what life truly meant… but in all reality it was Hyde that understood that best.
There was one way to fix this, something I should have done along time ago. Disappear.
I trust Lanyon with all my soul I do. I know he can take care of the society. I know that he can do things better than I ever could. Because he was the true model of a gentleman.
I was ashamed, I could feel the stares, hear the whispers. I’m the monster… and I always have been.
I guess Hyde thought that if he was going down, so should I. And I hate to admit the fact that he is right. The captain must go down with the ship.
So here I am, no longer Edward Hyde. But that of the very unhappy Dr.Henry Jekyll. The only one to blame, only one whose decisions had led to this very moment. I have lost…..