Work Text:
You usually woke to the sound of your alarm clock. Something nice but obtrusive, a tune or a beep that allowed you to rise without much fanfare, save for those times you hadn't slept so well.
But today, that wasn't the case.
"WHAT ON EARTH IS HAPPENING OUT HERE?"
It was the dulcet tones of Howdy on his last straw that wrenched you from your slumber-- quite a feat, as his place was a fair distance away from yours in Home. Blinking blearily, you groaned as you stumbled out of bed and peered out the window.
Something was certainly happening out by Howdy's Place, that was for sure. You could see what looked like little tents pitched up in the square, wooden crates turned over with stuff sitting on them and-- a group of some sort of small puppet crowded all around the local merchant caterpillar himself. They were all various shades of grey, hardly standing higher than even halfway to Howdy's knees. Howdy, for his part, was looking less green and more red as all four of his hands rested on his hips. That was quite a thing to witness in and of itself.
You rubbed at your eyes and scoffed, suddenly a little more awake as you turned to your closet. You just had to get all up in there and see what was going on.
Five frantic minutes later you were out the door and doing a half-jog through Home, a piece of toast clutched in your hand to scarf down as you approached the town square. Howdy was still arguing with the group of-- were those fleas? Yeah, fleas. Little flea puppets with multiple little arms along their torso. Many had multiple arms crossed among the group.
Howdy's upper pair of arms raised, leaving his hips to raise straight up in the air as he spoke in a tone that was equal parts exasperated and fed up.
"So you just go around setting up shop wherever you please? Stealing customers and blocking foot traffic? That sound right to you?"
One of the fleas closest to him spoke. A little red fez was perched upon its head, the gold tassel flicking back and forth with every word or so.
"It's not illegal to set up a market, sir."
"IT'S ILLEGAL TO ME!" Howdy shouted, jabbing the pointer finger of one of his upper arms into his chest. You winced at the volume, though the fleas looked unaffected and generally nonplussed.
"Good morning!" you called out hurriedly, to which Howdy whipped his head around, furrowed brows slackening slightly.
"Oh! Good! My humble neighbour! One of my favourite customers! Tell me, pal, you think this ramshackle Flea Market," Howdy sneered as he spoke harshly, waving a hand at the little tarps and carpets set up and rolled out, with little... objects placed atop them, "should be allowed to step foot in Home and disrupt our peace?"
"Come on man, we ain't doing anything wrong." said one of the fleas. Howdy sputtered, his face turning a blueish-green under his fur.
"Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong? You're taking up space right outside my humble business! Your display is an eyesore! You're stealing my customers!"
"Wow." one of the fleas said, a couple others snorting at Howdy's antics.
Your neighbour looked close to violence, and so you stepped in once more.
"Whoa, hey hey-- Howdy, look at their merchandise. I don't think you sell anything like this." you said quickly, gesturing to the little creations scattered across carpets and overturned wooden crates.
"Those- this stuff, what is it?" you asked the fleas. The one with the fez spoke up, placing a hand on their carapace.
"Why, I'm so glad you took the time to ask. These are our own patent-pending contraptions, an assortment of doohickeys, thingamabobs and whatchamacallits carefully crafted by each of us and waiting for their perfect Home. No two are the same! They're as unique as the puppet who may pick it up."
You watched Howdy squint at the ensemble, eyes carefully trailing over the flea's wares.
"See? How could they be stealing any customers if they're offering something you don't carry?"
Howdy pursed his lips, the blueish tinge leaving his face. He looked less angry, but still plenty suspicious. Meanwhile, the fleas were giving you beady-eyed looks of gratitude and relief.
"Well..." he coughed, and crossed both pairs of arms in front of his chest as he turned his nose up.
"Well, if that's all you're selling then fine. Fine! I'll be selling wares of actual worth." he said in a snotty way, huffing as he stomped right around the group and into his store, the glass door slamming behind him so hard it rattled in its frame.
You could see him round the counter and begin angrily cleaning an already-clean glass, glaring at the fleas through the picture window.
You looked down at the fleas with an apologetic look.
"... Sorry friends."
The flea with the fez shrugged.
"Hey, we get it a lot. Thanks for standing up for us."
You nodded, and then another flea piped up.
"Would you like to peruse our gadgets and gizmos?"
You shot a look at Howdy, still glaring through the window, and gave him a disappointed look before smiling down at the fleas.
"Sure! You guys take jokes, or..?"
The fleas launched into their sale spiel, and after some hashing it out you eventually came away with two whatchamacallits-- turns out your one-dollar idea for an umbrella that collects water when it rained was a good one. That, and you were pretty sure the second one was a two-fold gift.
The bell above Howdy's door jingled as you entered. Howdy gave you a smile as he leaned on his counter, a touch sheepish but still haughty.
"Had your fill and shook those flea's off your coat?" he said with a chuckle. You raised your eyebrows, unamused.
"This is for you." you said, plunking one of the contraptions on the counter. Howdy looked at it like it had just called his mother something awful, reaching out a hand to poke at it.
"Didn't ask for one." he grumbled. You clicked your tongue.
"Howdy, those fleas are as much potential customers as they are current merchants. Or did you forget?"
Howdy inhaled sharply, antenna springing up as he looked outside once more, hissing out his breath through his teeth.
"Stems and roots..." he muttered, taking his hat off to run a hand over his hair.
"You're smart kid. Real smart."
"I try." you joked, then you smiled softly at him.
"It's not too late to apologize, you know. Pride comes before the fall and all that."
"Alright, that's enough pal. You're sounding like Frank at this point." Howdy said, waving his hand at you as he rolled his eyes. Still, he looked cowed, scratching at his chin as he looked down at the whatchamacallit, pensive.
The door jingled behind you, someone letting out a low whistle.
"Jeez! Don't think today is this dog's day!" Barnaby said as he stepped inside the store, pulling at his tie.
"Barn! You're telling me!" Howdy said jovially as the dog puppet ambled over.
The two started talking, and you tapped the counter twice before taking your leave. As you walked to the door, you heard Barnaby speak up.
"Oh, a whatchamacallit! Yanno, 'Ma has one 'a these back home, finds it useful."
"Does she now?" Howdy replied, beginning to sound interested for the first time. You rolled your eyes as you walked through the front door. Of course he'd start coming around if Barnaby endorsed it.
...
It was quite funny to see not just the whatchamacallit you'd given him still in the store the day after, but also a dozen or so taking up space on one of the shelves. Seems he made up with the fleas after all-- and cut a deal with them at that. Howdy is as Howdy does-- and he can't resist a sale.
You enjoyed making a particularly raunchy joke in exchange for your groceries that day; one Howdy both burst into raucous laughter over and kicked you out for. Worth it.