Work Text:
Sakura Haruka.
He had had enough of everything.
His parents.
His neighbors.
His teachers, professors—whoever they were.
His damn little apartment.
His damn old phone.
His damn paperwork.
Sakura just wanted to breathe.
The wind on the hospital rooftop he stood on felt so damn good. He could barely remember the last time he had inhaled this freely. But sitting on the edge, looking down at the city from above—it was a little too tempting. It felt like a doorway to heaven had been cracked open.
Sakura wanted to walk through it.
“This hospital has the best rooftop view, I know that.” A voice snapped Sakura out of his thoughts. “But sitting there? Not exactly the best idea, you know?”
He didn’t really want to, but his brain made him turn toward the source of the voice.
A man, about his height. An eyepatch over his right eye. A pink hoodie, like the sakura blossoms lining the roads in spring. Loose black pants. Crimson-red hair and eyes. And that smile—gentle, almost soft.
“Whoa, your face looks like it just got wrecked. You okay? Don’t you think you should be down in the emergency room or something?”
Sakura quickly remembered the bandages on his face—remnants of the fight he’d gotten into with those bastards a few hours ago. Embarrassment washed over him. He turned back to face the city.
He didn’t even know why he felt embarrassed. Maybe because it felt unfair. His face looked like a broken mask, while the stranger looked so flawless, girls would probably line up just to talk to him. That face was too perfect—like porcelain. Like a mannequin.
What a beautiful sight to see before Sakura suic—
Ahem.
The city view. That’s what he meant.
“This spot’s more comfortable,” the voice continued. “This bench is new. Last month when I came up here, it wasn’t here. But then, boom—last week, suddenly here it was. Like magic, right?”
Sakura glanced over his shoulder. The guy was indeed sitting on a bench Sakura hadn’t even noticed earlier. He snorted and turned back to the city below.
How many times had that guy come up here? Visiting a patient? Bored of waiting and decided to sneak out here?
Never in Sakura’s life had someone started a conversation with him first. People were always skeptical of his appearance—black and white split hair, mismatched heterochromia eyes.
But this guy? He didn’t seem fazed at all.
“The bench’s too long for just one person. Why don’t you sit beside me? The sky looks even more beautiful than the city—I promise.”
See? That guy actually invited him to sit next to him. Was he nuts? Did he even know who he was talking to?
Sakura Haruka.
A well-known troublemaker no one ever wanted to be around.
“Look at that cloud! That one looks like an elephant!”
He was still talking.
“Ah, that one! Look! A rabbit!”
Sakura had no desire to respond.
“Whoa, that one! It’s a bit far, but look—a cat!”
Did this guy think the sky was a damn zoo or something?
“Oh! A fish! And the one next to it—”
“Can you shut the fuck up?!”
Sakura couldn’t hold it in anymore. His shout cut through the air, and even without turning around, he knew the man was startled.
But what Sakura didn’t expect… was that the guy was still smiling.
“This isn’t your rooftop. So respect whoever’s up here, will you?!”
Then came silence. Minutes passed, and Sakura finally thought he could enjoy the city view again. But instead, his thoughts were stuck on what he’d just done. Was he too harsh?
Wait—since when did he care?
With the silence dragging on, he figured the guy must’ve left. But when Sakura turned his head, he didn’t see an empty bench. The man was still there. Sitting quietly. Still smiling. Still looking up at the sky in awe.
That crimson red eye fixed on the clouds.
Weird guy.
But something about it made Sakura curious. He found himself tilting his head up.
And the sky—that afternoon—it looked… beautiful. Sakura hated to admit it, but maybe that guy wasn’t completely full of crap. Some clouds really did look like animals.
Damn it. What was he even thinking?!
Less than five minutes later, Sakura leapt down from the edge. He walked past the man. Time to return to his awful little apartment—anywhere but here, away from that weird stranger.
“Suo Hayato.”
Sakura stopped in his tracks.
He turned his head as if hypnotized by the voice.
The man—Suo—was looking at him again. Still with that infuriatingly soft smile.
“My name.”
His one visible eye curved like a crescent moon.
“It’s nice to meet you…?”
Almost against his will, like something beyond his control, Sakura murmured,
“…Sakura.”
His voice was quiet, but loud enough to hear.
“Nice to meet you, Sakura-kun.”
Sakura didn’t remember. He had forgotten again.
When was the last time… he could feel the beat of his heart?
🌸
The second time they met was something Sakura never expected.
It happened at a convenience store near the hospital. Suo, wearing the same clothes as before, stood in front of the bread section. He was so focused on reading the brand labels with his one visible eye that he didn’t notice Sakura standing nearby.
Suo’s right hand reached for a loaf of bread, flipping the pack to read the ingredients. Then he put it back and grabbed another with his left hand—clearly comparing two brands with the same flavor. Sakura could tell.
“What the hell is the difference? They’re just from different brands???” His voice broke the silence, startling Suo. His soft-looking hair swayed gently as he turned his head.
“Sakura-kun?” And there it was again—that smile Sakura didn’t want to admit had lingered in his mind. “Pleasure to see you here. How have you been this past week, Sakura-kun?”
Sakura’s jaw tightened. He didn’t dislike the question, nor the tone, not even the smile. What bothered him was the faint sense of tiredness he felt behind Suo’s calm demeanor. It irritated him in a way he couldn’t explain.
Can’t this man just pick a bread and rest or something? What the hell’s wrong with him?!
“You expect me to answer that boring question?” he shot back.
Suo chuckled softly. “Then what kind of question would you prefer, Sakura-kun?” He placed one of the loaves back on the shelf. “I was just checking things you might not notice on the packaging.”
What the hell?! Was this guy mocking him?!
Well, Sakura had to admit—he never read labels. If food looked edible, that was enough for him.
“Did you get a girlfriend?”
“H-Hah?!” That question caught Sakura off guard. “What’s wrong with you?!”
Suo laughed again, louder this time. Sakura blinked. The man looked—unfairly stunning. Handsome. Beautiful. Both, maybe.
“I thought you’d prefer that kind of question—something you wouldn’t normally throw at someone you’ve only met twice.”
“T-that doesn’t mean that kind of question, you damn eyepatch!”
Another laugh. Sakura could feel himself losing the will to argue.
“As expected of your type, Sakura-kun. You’re so cute when you blush.”
“I’m not—!”
He stopped himself as Suo tilted his head, laughing gently. That damn soft voice again. Hypnotic.
“But, Sakura-khun...” Suo’s tone shifted. Sakura followed his gaze toward his own grocery basket—mostly filled with instant noodles.
Suo grabbed another red bean bread—the same one he’d been comparing earlier. He walked up to Sakura, who stood frozen, watching.
Then, without a word, Suo placed one of the breads in Sakura’s hand.
“That red bean paste bread is delicious. You should try it.” He smiled gently—beautifully, even. That smile masked the exhaustion in his eyes so well. “Bye-bye, Sakura-kun. See you… next time?”
There was too much hesitation in those last two words.
Sakura nodded before he realized. Suo waved at him cheerfully and walked to the cashier, leaving Sakura behind.
Sakura stared at the bread in his hand. He wasn’t fond of sweet bread, but since Suo recommended it…
Well, why not? It’s just bread. It's not like he would buy that bread again.
A lie.
The next time Sakura visited that store, the first thing he reached for was that red bean paste bread.
He hated to admit it—but it was good enough that he bought it again. And maybe again after that.
He sat inside the convenience store, eating the bread with a can of instant coffee. His heterochromia eyes stared blankly at the road. It was a peaceful Sunday afternoon—despite the trouble he’d caused at campus earlier in the week.
Unfortunately, that peace didn’t last.
He saw an elderly woman about to be robbed.
Sakura pulled his hoodie up. With his half-full can of coffee in hand, he tossed the empty bread wrapper in the trash and stepped outside—at a pace most people couldn’t match.
In one swift motion, his coffee can flew straight into the robber’s head—perfect headshot. A punch followed. Swift. Precise. The woman’s bag was back in his hands within seconds. He shoved the thief away, spat on the ground, and returned to the elderly woman.
“Your bag…” He hesitated. What should he call her? Grandmother? No way. He didn’t like that.
“Ah, thank you, young man. You were so cool just now.”
Sakura could feel his face burn.
“T-that was nothing,” he muttered.
The woman smiled. “Actually, I’m looking for this hospital.”
She pulled out a brochure and handed it to Sakura. “They say it has expert cardiologists. I want to see them.”
Sakura glanced at the name.
Regret. Immediate regret.
“It’s just…” he growled, returning the brochure, five minutes from their place. "I’ll take you there.”
Don’t ask why. Sakura might love fighting—but that didn’t mean he was allergic to kindness.
Maybe fate was playing with Sakura. For the third time, he saw a familiar figure in a place he never expected. At the hospital—the one where he once met Suo on the rooftop. Sakura didn’t know why, but for a second, it felt like his heart stopped beating.
There, among a crowd of patients returning to their rooms or saying goodbye to visiting family, Sakura saw him.
Suo. But this time, he wasn’t in his usual clothes. He was in a patient robe. He stepped into the lift with tired legs, like they might give out any moment.
Sakura’s feet moved too late. By the time he tried to chase after him, the elevator door had already closed.
He stood in place, torn between disappointment and confusion—
—until a light bulb lit up in his head.
His legs moved faster than when he ran from opponents. He rushed to the store near the hospital and darted straight to the bread section. His eyes scanned until—yes. Red bean paste bread. He grabbed two and headed to the cashier, growling quietly when he saw the line.
The moment he paid, he sprinted back to the hospital. Breathless, he walked up to the receptionist.
"E-Excuse me. May I know w-which room Suo... Hayato is in?"
Damn it. His voice shook.
He rarely talked to strangers—let alone asked about someone so specific. He hoped he got the name right.
“Suo Hayato?” the receptionist blinked. “May I know who you are?”
Sakura’s face burned. Who was he to Suo, exactly?
“I-I’m his f-friend. We met on the rooftop... days ago... two weeks ago, I suppose...”
Before the receptionist could answer, a passing nurse turned her head.
“You’re friends with Suo Hayato?”
Sakura nodded hesitantly.
The nurse looked at the receptionist, and they both mirrored the same look—surprise. And… joy?
“Really?!”
Sakura hated this. Why were they so happy?
“I’ll take you to him!” the nurse said and led the way to the nearby lift. He had no choice but to follow.
“Sorry,” she said while they waited. “I guess I overreacted a bit.”
“What was that about?” Sakura asked.
She smiled gently at his reflection on the lift doors.
“Suo Hayato… his name is familiar to most of the staff here. He’s been a patient for about four, maybe five years now. No one visits him. Not even his mother—the one who brought him here. He’s friendly, but he never made friends outside the hospital. So having someone come to the desk, asking about him? We’ve been waiting for that.”
Sakura couldn’t breathe for a moment. Four or five years? So… he was already a patient when they met on the rooftop?
“Wait. You said he’s a patient, then? Why did I see him at the convenience store last week?”
“Ah, that.” The nurse smiled. “Sometimes he begs his doctor to let him go out. He hates the smell of medicine here. When he doesn’t get permission, he sulks for days and refuses to take his meds. So sometimes, the doctor lets him go—but only as far as that store. His heart can’t take more than a short walk. He can’t even run for three seconds.”
Ting.
The lift opened. The nurse stepped out, and Sakura—still reeling—rushed after her. They walked down one corridor, turned left, right, and then headed straight to the very end.
“Here’s his room.”
Sakura didn’t need to be told. The name card on the door said it clearly: Suo Hayato.
“Suo-san, your friend’s here,” the nurse called as she opened the door.
“A friend—” Suo’s voice stopped mid-sentence when he saw the person behind her. "Ah. Sakura-kun?”
It was their third meeting, but it was the first time Suo looked genuinely shocked.
“Suo-san, you should’ve told us! Your doctor would be thrilled to hear you’ve made a friend.” The nurse smiled, unbothered by their expressions. “I’ll leave you two. Visiting hours end in an hour, but since you’re Suo’s first friend, you get a little extra time.”
The door closed behind them.
Suo clutched his blanket, gripping it like it was the only thing grounding him. He hated this. Hated being seen like this.
“I—I didn’t mean to come without warning.” Sakura stepped forward. “Sorry. H-here. I brought you bread.” He shoved the plastic bag forward.
Suo blinked, stunned.
“Tsk. Here.” When Suo didn’t reach for it, Sakura dropped it onto his blanket.
“H-how…?”
“I saw you downstairs. I was helping an old woman and saw you heading into the lift.”
Suo opened his mouth, then closed it again. Silence fell. When Sakura glanced at him, he saw something in Suo’s face he didn’t know he’d missed. A smile.
“Thank you, Sakura-kun.”
Sakura’s face flushed. He looked away. “It’s nothing. Just bread.”
“Not just the bread, Sakura-kun.” Their eyes met. “Thanks for visiting me, too.”
Sakura didn’t know why, but he suddenly wanted to cry. To hug Suo. To run his fingers through Suo’s hair. To have Suo— Wait. What?!
“W-what are you thanking me for?”
Suo just smiled and shook his head. “Please sit, Sakura-kun. Talking while you’re standing there feels weird.”
Sakura hesitated, but sat down beside the bed.
“I bet the nurse said weird stuff about me,” Suo said, pulling the bread from the bag. “My heart’s been bad since the last time I went to the store. So I haven’t eaten this bread in days.”
Weird stuff?! Sakura was still processing everything she said!
“Thanks again for the bread, Sakura-kun.”
“Tsk. Just eat it. Stop thanking me.”
“But I have nothing to offer you… So, here.” Suo handed one bread to him. “Let’s eat it together!”
Sakura wanted to yell. Why was Suo acting so friendly?!
“Hell no. I bought that for you.”
“But—”
Sakura stood suddenly. “I’ll leave if you don’t eat both!”
Oh no. He just yelled at a heart patient. Again.
“S-sorry, I was—”
“Scary~” Suo teased. “Fine, I’ll eat it. So, sit down?”
Sakura sat again. His body moved on its own.
“This is the first time you’ve visited. I shouldn’t upset you. Sorry, Sakura-kun.”
Sakura clenched his fists. Thank you and sorry are common words to say. But, he didn’t know why, he hated hearing those words from Suo.
“It's nothing. Forget it.”
Suo’s smile was so warm, Sakura forgot how cold the outside was.
Winter was coming, but as long as Suo smiled at him, he didn’t need a blanket.
“I wish I saw you helping that old woman. I knew you were kind. Even went out of your way to buy me this bread.” Suo smiled. “I envy your girlfriend.”
“What the—?! Girlfriend?! I don’t even have a friend!” Sakura shouted. Then froze.
…Oops.
“Heh~ I thought I was your friend, Sakura-kun.”
“T-that's.. You are! The only one— though..”
…Double oops.
“I’m the only one?” Suo beamed. “That makes me happy. But you should still make more friends. Don’t be like me. If I’m gone, your only friend's gone.. wouldn’t it be lonely?”
He said what? Gone? Lonely?
“You have no idea how long I’ve lived alone,” Sakura whispered. “No family. No friends. I got used to it.”
Sakura clenched his fists tighter.
“We have each other now! Right?” Suo smiled.
Sakura nodded, slowly.
“But still,” Suo said, holding a piece of bread, “you should find more people to be with. I’m not going to be around for long.”
The words were soft—but they cut deep.
Sakura stood, grabbed Suo by the collar, and stared into his eyes.
“Don’t. You. Ever. Dare. To. Leave. Me. Without. A. Proper. Farewell.”
His voice shook with anger. “Suo Hayato.”
It was too late to hide the tears on Suo’s cheeks. Never in his life did he expect someone—anyone—to say that to him. Not even his parents.
🌸
The winter had always been so lonely. The cold always felt like a cruel contrast to life.
But that winter—for the first time—felt warm.
Sakura took full advantage of his privilege as Suo's first and only friend. He came to visit anytime he wanted, even daring to sleep on the sofa in Suo's room.
They were becoming really good friends. Even though they couldn’t go outside—since winter was when Suo’s doctor practically caged him in his room—for the first time, Suo didn’t mind. He had Sakura with him.
They had so many things to talk about. That’s how Sakura eventually learned about the accident—how Suo lost his right eye. Living without a functioning eye since childhood made it hard for Suo to make friends. He’d failed his parents’ expectations because of the accident. His father never looked at him again. And that wasn’t the end of it.
He also had a heart condition.
Cardiomyopathy.
Suo’s mother handed him over to a hospital where her friend worked, and then left—like leaving a child at an orphanage.
The first time Sakura heard all of this, he nearly lost it.
Wasn’t that too cruel? What kind of parents were they? Leaving their only child—someone with a heart condition—alone.
They were even worse than Sakura’s own parents, whom he always described as trash. He didn’t even know what word could describe Suo’s parents.
Sakura had been abandoned too—left behind as a child, growing up in an orphanage where no one wanted to play with him because of his appearance. He got into fights, used them as a way to push others away. His messy, rough personality left him with no friends. Since the day his parents left him, Sakura had decided he didn’t need anyone.
Well—until he met Suo.
He wanted to ease Suo’s loneliness.
He started to think maybe... he needed Suo too.
He wanted them to stay by each other's side.
He wanted that—badly.
"So you’ll graduate soon?" Suo asked softly.
Sakura nodded. “Surprisingly.”
“Surprisingly?”
“Mm. My attendance was a mess. I got into trouble on campus all the time. Barely submitted my assignments on time.”
Suo laughed. “Maybe your professors just didn’t want to deal with you again next year.”
Sakura snorted. “Then they could’ve just thrown me out. Why let me graduate at all??”
“Graduation ceremony...” Suo muttered, looking at the rabbit-shaped apple slices Sakura had cut for him. “I didn’t get to attend mine. That was the day my mom brought me here.”
Then he looked back at Sakura, smiling. “Be happy. It’s a rare opportunity, Sakura-kun!”
Sakura flinched at that. “Damn it… I screwed up.”
“S-sorry. Ugh, fine. I’ll go,” he sighed. “I wanted to come here early that day since I won’t have any schedule left.”
Suo smiled. Ever since he found out Sakura was a college student, he had scolded him every time Sakura skipped class—even if the reason was to visit him. Because of that, Sakura actually started attending classes more often.
“Don’t worry. We’ll spend the whole day after you’re done. You can even take me out! Spring is coming. I’m sure my doctor will finally let me out when it’s warmer. How does that sound?”
Sakura felt heat rising to his cheeks. “G-good.”
“There there, my good boy.”
No matter how often Sakura scolded Suo for patting his head, Suo kept doing it anyway. And honestly... it’d be a lie to say Sakura hated it. Damn it, he loved the way Suo patted his head.
“You must look handsome in a graduation gown. What was it again? Academic regalia?” Sakura nodded and popped a rabbit-shaped apple slice into his mouth, trying to hide his burning face.
“It’s a no-way that no one wants to be your girlfriend.”
“Tsk. Believe it or not, that’s the fact.”
Suo laughed. “Then show yourself to me in the regalia! Don’t take it off—run straight here after the ceremony! I might just propose to you the moment I see you!”
“Damn it! Stop saying things like that so easily!”
“Eh? Why? It’s not that hard to say.”
Sakura sighed in defeat. “You really enjoy making me blush, huh?”
Suo nodded eagerly. “I told you, you’re so cute when you blush!”
Damn Suo. Being with him every day wasn’t good for Sakura’s heart.
But that fast heartbeat… it reminded him he was alive.
Suo once told him that.
“Sakura-kun.”
Sakura hummed in response, spraying sanitizer on his hands as he picked up Suo’s empty plate.
“When I get a new heart... and I get better...” Suo’s voice pulled Sakura’s gaze back to him. “Let’s live together.”
It wasn’t just Suo who smiled. Sakura smiled too. And nodded.
Yes. Suo had been waiting for a new heart. It was the only real chance to survive—even though the odds weren’t 100%, everyone at the hospital, including Sakura, believed in the successful percentage.
They believed.
Sakura would keep holding on to that hope.
“I’ll work hard,” he whispered, “to get a place good enough for us, Suo.”
That was his only motivation now. If it meant he could wake up every morning and see Suo’s face—see Suo’s smile—see those crimson red eyes...
Then Sakura would survive anything.
But sometimes, humans forget who holds control over life and death.
Out of greedy desire, humans act as if they can control everything as they please.
Sakura was so sure the graduation ceremony would feel long, but it ended far sooner than he expected. He ran from his campus without taking off his regalia. He assumed the traffic wouldn’t be too bad, so he took a bus to the hospital. But he was wrong. He got off at the next stop and ran the rest of the way. He thought the weather would still be cold, but for early spring, it was warm enough.
“Code blue! Code blue! Room 104, third floor!”
Just as Sakura entered the hospital, an announcement echoed through the speakers. So many workers were running. Sakura didn’t know what "code blue" meant, but when he heard Suo’s room number, he didn’t think twice. He ran. The elevator was too crowded, so he took the emergency stairs.
Sakura remembered—the last time his heart beat that fast was when Suo praised him for cutting an apple into the shape of a rabbit. He had seen a video and practiced hard to cut it just right, just to make Suo smile.
Suo. Suo. Suo.
Once again, Sakura’s heart was racing—not just from the run, but from the image of Suo’s face the night before, when Sakura left the hospital to prepare for his graduation ceremony.
Suo. Suo. Suo.
He murmured the name he had grown so fond of over the past months like a mantra.
Sakura thought he was running faster than anyone, but the hospital workers reached Suo’s room before him. He wasn’t allowed in. His legs trembled. He stepped back from the door and collapsed onto the bench in the corridor.
He was drenched in sweat. His breathing was uneven. He wanted to take off his graduation cap and gown, but he didn’t—because he had promised Suo to let him see him in those graduation clothes.
He waited. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes felt like hours. Sakura had never been this patient in his life. He used to barge into everything. Why was it different now, with Suo’s room? Why was he waiting so quietly?
“Sakura Haruka.”
A familiar voice made Sakura look up. It was Suo’s doctor. Sakura stood immediately.
“Suo—”
“I’m so sorry, Sakura-san,” the doctor said, bowing deeply. His voice trembled. “I’m a failure. I couldn’t find a new heart for him in time.”
Sakura didn’t think twice before grabbing the doctor’s collar.
“What the hell do you mean by that?!” Sakura’s voice shook. “What. The. Hell. Do. You. Mean. By. That?! Sensei, tell me!”
But Sakura’s patience had reached its end. He shoved the doctor aside and rushed into Suo’s room. It was a mess. A room that was once so tidy now looked like a battlefield. Some workers sat slumped on the floor. Others stood with fists clenched. A few were still working to remove the tubes and equipment from Suo’s body.
Suo’s body.
“Suo…?”
All eyes turned to him, but Sakura didn’t care. He walked straight to Suo’s bed.
The workers had just finished when Sakura pulled one of them away from Suo’s side.
Everyone knew.
Sakura Haruka.
A name that shocked them all—Suo’s only friend from outside the hospital. The one who knew Suo’s favorite bread flavor. The name Suo mentioned every day during checkups.
Today, Sakura did this.
Today, Sakura brought that.
Today, Sakura said this.
Today, Sakura talked about that.
Sakura. Sakura. Sakura.
A foreign name that quickly became familiar.
“Suo? Are you sleeping?” Sakura’s trembling hands reached for Suo’s cheek. “Hey, wake up. Look… like I promised, I came right after the ceremony… look, Suo, look—I’m in my damn academic regalia… do you think I look handsome? Even after running all the way from campus?”
Sakura’s voice wasn’t loud, but his words echoed through the room. Some workers left—maybe because they had more work to do, or maybe because they couldn’t bear to witness the scene in front of them.
Never in his life had Sakura cried.
Never. In his life. Had. He. Cried.
Now, people might laugh at him crying in his graduation robe. Suo would definitely tease him for it. Did Sakura care? No. He didn’t mind being mocked or teased—as long as Suo would just open his eyes.
“Suo, what the hell are you doing?” Sakura grabbed his cap and threw it to the floor. “Suo! What the hell are you doing?! Open your damn eyes, you eyepatch! You promised me! You promised me we’d spend today—and every day after—together! Are you a liar now?! Who the hell taught you how to lie?!”
Why was Suo still? He always flinched when Sakura yelled. Why wasn’t he flinching now?
“Suo, you promised me,” Sakura whispered, falling to his knees.
Live together.
That’s what Suo had said.
Live.
Together.
“Suo, you never promised to leave me alone…” Sakura took Suo’s hand and held it gently. “Suo, you promised we’d live together… not like this. Not with you leaving me behind…”
Never in his life would Sakura repeat someone’s name this many times, and still never grow tired of it.
“Suo… the weather is warm… let’s go—let’s go outside… there are places I want to go with you… let’s go outside, Suo…”
The doctor had been standing silently at the door. He was staring at a folded pink letter. Suo never talked much about what he liked or disliked, but once, during spring, he had looked out the window and said, “That color looks so beautiful, sensei.” The color of sakura flowers bloomed.
The doctor never expected Suo to rely on him to find a new heart. For four years, he had searched desperately. Suo never pressured him—he always said it was okay if no match was found. He told him not to force what couldn’t be forced. Suo had accepted his fate. He was born to die.
Until one day, for the first time, Suo asked, “Is there a new heart for me, sensei?”
There was hope in his voice. But the doctor had no answer. Saying “no” would crush that hope. Staying silent hurt even more. The next day, he walked into Suo’s room and saw a man with two-toned hair and heterochromatic eyes saying something that made Suo smile more brightly than ever before.
Ah, so that’s why. Suo had found a reason to live.
“Suo…”
Sakura felt something touch his hand. He looked up. Suo’s doctor was placing a folded letter beside his hand.
“I saw it yesterday,” the doctor said softly. “Even without him telling me, I knew it was for you.” He bowed again. “I’ll give you five more minutes before the nurses come. Unlike Suo, who had so many words left to give you, I only have one thing to say—thank you. Thank you, Sakura-san, for giving him a reason to live, even if just for a few days. Honestly, I thought I would lose him the day winter came. His heart couldn’t handle the cold. But he survived. That was because of you.”
Sakura glanced at the letter. More tears streamed down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry. As a doctor, not being able to save my patient is a nightmare. We both lost someone we cheered for. I may have been his doctor for four years, but you… you were the one who never left his side during his final days. I understand your sadness. But Sakura… Suo told me he believed you would find another reason to live. He saw it in the way you told him about your days.”
The doctor left. The next moment, Sakura was alone in the room with Suo. But only Sakura was breathing. Only his heart still beat.
Never had Sakura felt his legs so weak. And yet, somehow, he was still standing. He didn’t pick up the letter immediately. One hand held Suo’s hand. The other reached for his cheek one last time. Without hesitation, Sakura leaned in and kissed Suo’s lips. His tears dripped onto Suo’s skin—still warm. But Suo’s lips were growing cold. So were his hands. His cheeks. His forehead. His whole body.
Sakura remembered how warm Suo always was. He had never been this cold.
“Suo Hayato. You have no idea… how much I love you. How much my life depends on you. The only thing I want when I wake up is to run to you. Being greeted by your smile is something I’ve always been grateful for. I’ve never been grateful for anything before—but you. I'm sorry—for everything I've ever done that hurt you. Thank you… thank you for talking to me on the rooftop that day. Thank you for the honor of being your reason to live.”
Spring had always felt as cold as winter. Sakura never expected to feel how warm it could be.
If it weren’t for Suo, he would’ve never known—
Spring is so much warmer than winter.
“I will never forget this feeling. I will always love you, Suo Hayato.”
🌸
Sakura?
What a beautiful name you have. I know it’s a common name, but honestly, you were the first person I ever met who introduced himself with it.
Sakura Haruka.
What a good name. It sounds so nice on the tongue.
You may hate it—because your mother gave it to you. But, Sakura-kun… I’m the one who loves it so deeply.
It’s rare to find anyone on the rooftop. It’s always been just me, alone. I was actually annoyed the first time I saw someone sitting on my favorite spot. I had waited two years for that bench—the one my doctor begged the hospital management to finally install up there. It felt like a small victory when it finally arrived.
But still, Sakura-kun… I’m sorry if I interrupted your peace. Though, I could tell exactly what you were thinking, sitting on that far edge. It’s tempting, isn’t it? To jump. I’ve thought about it, too—more than once. But I didn’t.
I waited. Waited for a reason to keep living… Because no one around me ever made me feel like I mattered. Not even my parents.
I’m sorry if I was too loud that day, but I swear—there really were clouds shaped like animals! You should look up more often, Sakura-kun.
The second time I met you, at the convenience store—when I snuck out without my doctor’s permission—I realized something.
When you talked to me first… I knew instantly.I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to hear your voice again.
But I’m running out of luck, Sakura-kun.
My heart hurts. A lot. And the fact that I can’t go out anymore to even hope for a random encounter with you—it breaks me. Every night, I go to sleep afraid I won’t wake up.
I’m not afraid of dying, Sakura-kun. I’m just afraid I won’t get the chance to shake your hand and officially become your friend before I go.
I never asked for anything in life. But the third time we met—when you took the initiative to come see me—that’s when everything changed.
That’s when I wanted to live.
I wanted to see you again. I wanted to hear your voice, to see your blushing face. I wanted to stare into your eyes—those beautiful gold and silver-blue eyes—every single day.
I wanted to live with you, Sakura-kun.
You know, there’s this saying.. If you meet the same person three times by chance, it means you’re meant to be. I always thought that was nonsense. But when it came to you… I wanted to believe it.
Sakura-kun, I know I shouldn’t have made promises I wasn’t sure I could keep. I’m sorry. I was selfish. I said those things because I needed strength—strength to hold on until a new heart came. But it hurts. So much. My heart hurts more than I ever imagined.
When you said you’d work hard to get us a place to live together, my heart raced. I’m sorry… I got too excited. I forgot how fragile I was. I couldn’t help it—just the thought of living under the same roof with you for the rest of our lives…
I wanted that. I wanted that, Sakura-kun.
Just for now, just this once… I want to know what it feels like to have my heart beat because of you.
I’m sorry. I may not be able to fulfill my promises. But please, Sakura-kun… live your life.
Don’t jump from rooftops. Don’t get into more fights. Smile more. Swear less. Talk in more gentle tone, will you?
I’ll come visit you in your dreams, okay?
I love you, Sakura Haruka.
Even with this broken heart—I love you.
Thank you, for letting me feel something I never thought I could. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you all this in person. But truly, thank you! Meeting you is the one thing I’m most grateful for in this life.
I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a proper farewell.
Good luck with your graduation. I hope you find a good job, with kind co-workers, a supportive boss, a company that sees your worth. And I hope you find a nice apartment!
Even if it’s not with me…
Please enjoy your new home.
Or maybe… with someone you love!
Ah, I bet you look so handsome in your academic regalia! If I saw you in it, I probably wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to hug you—or maybe even kiss you.
Hmm… next time we meet,
Let’s get married, Sakura-kun!