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The job was way too easy. So easy Dante thought about leaving halfway through… it wasn’t like the demons were bothering anybody yet at least. Maybe if he left them they might become entertaining…
But unfortunately, pizza cost money, and he sort of needed pizza.
So he shot the thing dead only for it to run forward and bite him. Dante threw it off, noting that it hit the wall with a thud and didn’t get back up. The bite was already healing, but suddenly he was shrinking.
He was blinded!
No wait, that was just his jacket. He pushed out of his jacket to be on all fours. He tried to stand up only to lose his balance and fall back down. He looked down to see two paws. Why did he have paws?
His claws extended and he cringed at the sensation of them digging into the concrete.
“Dante?” Lady called out.
Right, the other reason he didn’t want to do this, he would have to split the pay anyways. He padded over to the demon and batted at it to make sure it was dead. It was, and Dante supposed he at least did that much.
Lady jogged up, and seemed confused by the lack of Dante.
“Where did you run off to?” she muttered to herself, and then noticed the pile of clothes and weapons. “Did he become a nudist suddenly?” Louder she called, “Dante, I told you, that wasn’t a special sundae , and now we know you got drugged with PCP!”
Dante trotted up to her and tried to explain. All that came out was, “Mew mew mew.”
Lady crouched and Dante totally couldn’t see up her skirt and-- she was wearing shorts… She reached out a hand automatically. “Aren’t you cute?” she asked in a baby voice, “Do you know where that idiot went? I can’t imagine he left his weapons here if he was in the right mind.”
“Mew mew mew!” Dante tried again. Why was his meow so adorable? Even if he was a cat, he was a big cat! She pet him and Dante froze. It felt…
Really good. That was nice. He started purring. Loudly.
Lady smiled. “Oh, you’re just a big lover, aren’t you? Well, I should probably find him.”
Lady looked around the area, before circling back to his clothes. She picked them up, throwing the gun holsters over her shoulder. Dante followed her around, meowing periodically to try and get her attention.
“What is it?” she asked.
She returned to her apartment, Dante following her. He brushed against her leg as she juggled for her keys.
“Fine,” she said begrudgingly, “You can come in, but you better not have fleas.”
Dante meowed indignantly.
She set his things on her table and came back to lock her door. She had about three locks on her door, which seemed like three less than he expected. He’d never actually been inside her apartment either, she insisted on hanging at his place, which was fine.
He explored the room, sniffing things openly. He was a cat now, it wasn’t as weird.
Lady called someone, maybe Enzo, or Morrison maybe to try and figure out where he was. “If you find a naked Dante, I have his jacket and guns… I don’t know where he is, I just figured he wouldn’t want those just left out even if he’s on some weird bender… He’s never done this before! Fine. Just keep your eyes out.”
Lady collapsed on her couch and Dante padded over. She laid her head back and sighed. She saw him and smiled. “Here kitty,” she crooned, and patted her lap. Dante was not going to pass up that opportunity.
He jumped into her lap, paying special attention to not extend his claws like he wanted to. He curled up, wondering how nice it would be to be human in that moment. He started purring again. This was about heaven. And Lady was being so nice too!
“Aren’t you a sweet boy,” she said, “And look at your toes…” she played with his paws, which Dante wanted to pull away from, but resisted because Lady was being so gentle. “You got extra ones… and look at how big you are. I bet you just laze around all day… just like someone else I know…”
“I’ll have to check with a vet if you have a chip or not… because there’s no way you don’t have an owner. You’re too handsome and sweet… Although if you don’t… Do you want to be my kitty?” she asked.
Dante could do little more than purr, his claws started kneading on some instinct.
“Of course I’ll have to get you fixed,” she mused, “Sorry about that. But can’t have you spraying or becoming a deadbeat dad.”
His ears went back, not liking that idea at all. Maybe being Lady’s cat wasn’t so great!
“Oh you find that offensive?” she asked, “Well, I’m sorry, but cats aren’t known for being attentive fathers.”
Dante bristled at that.
Lady giggled. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you could understand me. Well, enough of this, I should probably go see if Dante returned to his office. I’ll have to let you out. Don’t want any accidents…”
With that, she picked him up. “Oh you are a big boy,” she said, squishing his tummy. Dante let out a sound of annoyance, of which Lady giggled again and said, “If you don’t want me to squish your belly, don’t have such a squishy one!”
Dante did not have a squishy belly! Well, normally that was. At the moment he supposed he had one.
Lady grabbed her keys and exited the door, pausing to lock it. She deposited him on the ground to which Dante protested greatly.
“I’ll be back, okay?” she promised, “Go catch a mouse or something!”
Dante watched her go and then decided he was sleepy. There was a nice patch of sunlight next to the door, so he bedded down on it.
He woke up when it was dark out to Lady unlocking her door. He perked up and meowed.
“Huh, you’re still here…” she murmured. “Come on in.”
Dante followed her inside, jumping onto the counter to see what she was making for dinner. It was… just sardines. From a can. If Dante could frown he would have. That was so sad.
“What?” she asked, “You want some?”
To his cat nose it actually smelled pretty good, so he allowed her to feed him some. She smiled at him, but even there was a bit of tiredness in her eyes. He meowed in question.
“No sign of Dante…” she explained, “he disappears sometimes… but usually not like this. He never goes anywhere without his guns…”
Dante head butted her abdomen to try and comfort her. He was right there! He was fine!
“I’m probably worrying over nothing,” she said, and pet him aggressively. “I need to clean up, I’m all sweaty…”
She went into her bathroom and he heard the shower turn on. Dante went to the table and found himself highly amused by batting around a stray bullet there. He missed the shower turning off and was shocked to see Lady leave the bathroom with only a towel on. Strike that, barely a towel on. She went to her bedroom and Dante waited for her to come out dressed. When she didn’t, he went to investigate to find her in her bed with a large t-shirt on. A t-shirt he found familiar.
So that was where his shirt went!
He meowed inquisitively, and Lady glanced over, smiling. “Well, come here,” she said.
Dante decided to do just that, pushing his luck to sit on her chest. He sprawled his body over her abdomen with a sigh. This was nice.
“Oh big lazy kitty,” Lady said, petting him. “I’ll need to think of a name if you choose to stick around.”
He mewed.
“I’ll have to think of something good… What you think?”
Dante mrrped.
Lady then surprised him by kissing his forehead.
The effect was instantaneous. In a flash, Dante was back in human form, sprawled over her naked.
He had been right, being human in that situation was much better.
“What the hell?” she exclaimed.
Dante got off of her and tried to figure out what had just happened.
“Why are you naked?” she asked, and turned her head.
Why indeed…
“Where’d the cat go?” Lady asked.
“I was cursed to be a cat,” Dante explained, and then looked down. “I’ll go get dressed.”
“You were the cat?” Lady asked, following him out of her bedroom. If he didn’t know better he might think she was okay seeing him in such a state. Maybe she even liked what she saw…
“Yup!” Dante answered.
“Why did you turn back?”
“Well because…” he thought back… Why had he turned back? “It was after you… kissed me.”
Lady blinked. Half dressed, she pushed his bangs out of the way and then blushed. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” she said, “Here, let me--”
She tried to wipe whatever it was away, but Dante caught her wrist. “Lady, were you wearing lipstick?”
“It’s tinted lip balm,” she admitted.
The distinction wasn’t clear to him, so he just smiled.
“But you’re fine?” she asked, “You were just missing because you were a cat?”
“Yes Lady, I’m fine,” he said, “Never knew you cared so much…”
“Of course I care,” she said and then rubbed her eyes. “It’s too late for this. You can crash on the couch if you want, although you probably slept all day.”
He had, but he could always sleep. “I dunno, your bed was pretty comfortable.”
She scoffed. “You’re ridiculous. It barely fits me.”
“I’d be willing to figure something out,” he remarked, to which she pushed his (bare) shoulder, and started to return to her room. Before she made it, Dante asked, “Hey…Lady?”
“Yeah?”
“Why… why did your kiss turn me back?”
“I don’t know Dante,” she said honestly, “I guess if anyone ever gets turned into a cat again we can see if my kisses work.”
He let that sleeping dog lie, and settled onto the couch, finding it much less comfortable.
Now that he knew Lady was a cat person… maybe he could use that to his advantage to get her attention? Dante drifted to sleep trying and failing to figure out how to channel that level of cuteness.