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The night Mizi met Sua was seared into her brain forever.
The night her world changed forever. The night her life gained new meaning.
It was a miracle she was able to get tickets to Sua’s show in the first place. Mizi was window-shopping, trying to find something to fill her time, when a woman selling tickets approached her. It turns out she was having trouble making a sale since Sua's show was in an hour and she only had one ticket, not a pair. It didn't help that Sua had just debuted, so she wasn't that well-known yet. Her face wasn't even on the tickets. Just a black silhouette and some black Gothic text. So, Mizi, bored and eager to support a budding artist, bought the heavily discounted tickets and went to the show.
What Mizi did before the show was a blur. She got herself some water, found her seat, chatted with the people around her, so on and so forth. None of that was important. Nothing before Sua was important.
Mizi was just about to send Ivan a cute selfie she just took when the lights suddenly dimmed.
Sua arrived on stage, and Mizi was instantly mesmerized.
Sua's obsidian black bob stopped short of her snow pale shoulders. Her tiny white dress clung to her generous thighs and modest chest, leaving little to the imagination. Her white boots clung to her smooth calves. And her eyes. Her purple-blue eyes pierced Mizi even from a distance. Her perfect face remained neutral once she was at the mic. Until she saw Mizi in the crowd. Their eyes locked, and the sweetest, most serene smile spread over those glossy lips. A smile just for her.
Or, at least, Mizi was sure that smile was for her. Sure, there wasn’t much proof. Mizi had decent seats, but she wasn’t in the front row. And, sure, it wasn’t sold out, but there was still a good amount of people. But Mizi knew that smile was for her.
Mizi tried to match her smile, but then Sua started singing and turned to face the balcony closest to her. Goodness, her voice. It was as angelic as she was. A new and mysterious emotion consumed Mizi fully, like a snake swallowing a mouse, and Mizi was happy to be a victim. Every note of every song etched itself into her soul.
Once the final song had run its course, Sua thanked the audience, saying how happy she was that so many people showed up to support her. A small seed of bitterness planted itself in Mizi. It was irrational, Mizi knew that. She was one girl in a sea of seats; it's not like Sua was going to call out her specifically. Especially since she didn't even know her name. But that didn't stop it.
Mizi stayed in her seat and whipped out her phone to purchase tickets to Sua's next show.
----
Mizi had made sure to snag front row tickets this time. They weren't as pricey as other idol's shows since Sua was so new, but the purchase still made a dent in Mizi's wallet. Especially since she'd bought three this time.
"H-here's the money I owe you for the tickets," said Till. "T-t-thank you so much for inviting me! I'm really looking forward to going! I'm sorry that I couldn’t pay you back immediately. I'll give you the money tomorrow, I promise!"
"It's okay, Till," Mizi replied. "You can pay me back whenever you can. Ivan still hasn't paid me back either."
"Ugh, don't hold your breath, he owes me money too."
Mizi smiled, Till's nervousness had vanished the second Ivan was brought up. She was originally just going to invite Ivan since she didn't know Till that well, and it didn't seem like he enjoyed this type of music anyway, but Ivan insisted. Besides, Mizi wanted to recruit more Sua fans anyway. Sure, sharing the idol's attention didn't sit well with her, but she was willing to set that aside to help put money in Sua's bank account. A part of Mizi kept doing happy little backflips at the thought of Sua buying clothes, food, accessories, and anything else she desired with the money Mizi drummed up.
Ivan was the one that drove them to the show, and he went to grab everyone bottle of water after they found their seats. Till let Mizi rant about everything she learned about Sua online until the lights dimmed for Sua’s entrance.
Mizi's heart hammered rapidly as Sua walked onto the stage. She once again found Mizi in the crowd, but this time her smile fell, and Mizi was devastated. Was it her hair? Did Sua not like it in a ponytail? Was it her outfit? Yeah, it was a little lower cut than what Mizi normally wore, but she thought it was cute. Her glittery eyeshadow? No, she wore the same eyeshadow to the last show.
Since she was closer to the stage, Mizi followed Sua's gaze to find that it landed on—.
"I know I said this a million times, but I'm really grateful you invited me," Till's face was alarmingly pink and he was nervously massaging the back of his neck. Normally, Mizi would try and find out what was making him so uncomfortable, but that wasn't a priority right now.
"Hey, Till, I'm so sorry to be a pain, but do you think you could go check on Ivan? He's taking a long time to get drinks. I'm a bit worried about him," Mizi asked, hoping her desperation wasn't showing.
Till jumped out of his seat with a small "of course" and dashed up the stadium steps. Mizi whipped out her phone and shot Ivan a text.
Ivan!!!!! I need your help!!!! Can you please please PLEASE distract Till for as long as you can for me??? Preferably for the whole show
Without asking for any further clarification, Ivan agreed, and Mizi signed with relief. Her gaze went back to the stage. To Sua.
Just as she predicted, getting rid of Till had brought Sua's smile back, and Mizi could spend the rest of the night basking in it. The second night was just as magical as the first.
Ivan and Till were red in the face when they reunited, and Till apologized profusely over missing the show when Mizi had gone to all that trouble to get them tickets. Mizi said it was no big deal, but she told Ivan she would like her money for the ticket back pretty soon.
Because she had bought a ticket to Sua's next show already.
----
Mizi bought tickets for the next five shows. In an attempt to save money for more of Sua's shows, Mizi had bought tickets a bit further back, much to her chagrin. Luckily, she was still close enough that Sua would definitely see her in the crowd.
Mizi had followed Sua on all her social media platforms and had done extensive research on the idol. Or, at least, as much research as she could. Sua was frustratingly private. Her answers to interview questions were usually vague and short. Mizi grasped whatever information she could.
Sua had enjoyed singing since childhood.
She adored the stars.
She had an older sister.
She was good at arithmetic.
She loved the color pink.
Anything.
Mizi hoped that the success of this tour will get Sua more interviews and allow her to come out of her shell a bit more.
Anyway, there was a reason that this show was special. Sua was finally going to learn Mizi's name!
Mizi had no clue why she didn't think of this sooner. She made a giant sign with I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!! LOVE, MIZI emblazoned on the front in glittery pink bubble letters and neon star stickers. She had considered asking Till for help with the sign since he was the artist of the group, but Mizi wanted whatever she gave Sua to be made from her own hands.
As per usual, Mizi took her seat and waited anxiously for the lights to dim. As soon at the stadium darkened, Mizi didn't even wait for Sua to walk on stage before lifting her sign. Once Sua was out, she blessed Mizi not only with a smile, but with a giggle!
"There are some lovely signs in the audience tonight. It always brings me joy at the amount of passion my fans have," Sua said, still smiling.
There were other people who brought signs, but Mizi was the only one in the direction Sua was facing. This was irrefutable proof that Sua watched Mizi as much as Mizi watched her. It had to be.
----
The next show was far enough away that Mizi had to buy a plane ticket. That was an unfortunate and unexpected fee. However, luck was still very much on Mizi's side since she won the show ticket in a raffle! And not just any ticket, this ticket included a fan meetup!
Mizi almost cried from joy at the email notification. All the ticket purchases had nearly drained her savings. She was worried she wouldn't be able to buy a front row ticket to Sua's final show. It took a lot of restraint for her to not buy any merchandise too. There was an absolutely adorable poster of Sua in a short black dress with a bouncy skirt.
No. No, Mizi can't let herself falter. She needed to start saving for when Sua started touring again. She could always request merch for her birthday. Ivan and Till probably got the hint for that already.
Her impatience for the fan meetup after the performance didn't lessen her excitement for the actual show. Sua's voice always washed over her, calming any anxious thoughts and grounding her in the present.
Mizi hoped she wasn't visibly shaking by the time she went backstage for the meetup. There were others, of course, but Mizi was pleased to notice she was the only one who brought a gift. Every step forward in line to the table Sua was stationed at felt like a million years. On one hand, being last meant she was the last fan to interact with Sua before she went home to sleep at night, and that increased the chances of her dreaming of Mizi. On the other hand, after weeks of distance, she wanted to bask in Sua's presence immediately.
Five people left.
Four people left.
Three people.
Two.
One.
And there she was.
Her beautiful Sua.
Mizi knew she was tiny, but she was even smaller up close. Her black hair shined like polished onyx, and her skin looked so soft and smooth. Mizi wanted to bury her face into the crook of her neck. She stretched her flawless lips into a smile, waking Mizi from her trance.
"H-hi! I'm Mizi," said Mizi, voice squeakier than she'd hoped.
Sua giggled behind her hand, "I know."
"Y-you do!?"
"Of course, you made a sign last concert."
"Oh, yeah! Yeah, I did!"
Mizi fiddled nervously with the package in her hand, "I also made you this! I hope you like it. I've never tried to crotchet before. I found a pattern I thought was cute online, but it was a bit above my skill level."
Sua took the sloppily wrapped package out of Mizi's outstretched hands, eyes sparkling in delight. She opened it carefully, discarding the paper like orange peels. In her perfectly manicured hands, she held a crocheted pink star with blushing cheeks and heart eyes.
"Oh, my dear Mizi, it's so adorable! I'll cherish it forever," said Sua fondly, not seeming to care how amateurish it looked. She cradled it in her flawless arms affectionately. Then, much to the shock of Mizi's poor heart, she kissed it. Brought her glossy lips to the pink yarn and kissed it gently. Mizi held back a startled yip. This had to be on purpose.
"I hope to see you again, Mizi," said Sua, snuggling the star. Still smiling.
----
This was the final show of Sua's tour, and Mizi had finally broke. Sua was so distant, and Mizi was tired of it. The microdose of Sua's attention wasn't enough.
Maybe because Sua was so new she couldn't afford the best security. It was shockingly easy to get to her dressing room. It was concerning. Luckily it was only Mizi.
Mizi wasn't quite sure what she was looking for. She would like to talk with Sua privately, to be the only one to soak up her radiant light, but Mizi hasn't sure how she would react to breaking and entering. Maybe a piece of clothing? A glove, or maybe a necklace. Yeah, a necklace. Mizi liked the idea of wearing it everywhere and pretending Sua had given it to her.
Sua's dressing room was well-organized. No makeup dust on the vanity. No clothes gathered in a crumpled heap. It took Mizi no time to find a necklace made of white pearls. She put it on and lovingly ran her hands down it, picturing Sua wearing it on stage with Mizi in the audience.
Mizi turned to leave but found she couldn't open the door. Panic set in as Mizi pushed, pulled, and kicked at the wood. It didn't budge.
"It's not going to open," said a soft voice. Mizi whipped around.
Sua.
She was standing there in regular clothes, a ring of keys in her hand.
“The auto-locking door was my idea," said Sua, serene like always.
Then, Sua gifted Mizi the same smile as always, and Mizi smiled in return.