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Mayra Hawke wasn’t sure whose stare was worse. Was it the way Fenris frowned, his eyes boring into the back of her head? Or was it the way Varric kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye, concern showing plain as day on his features?
Either way, she was grateful to have Sebastian’s glare accompanying her, too. If Varric came up to her later, asking about how closed off she’d been during the trek back, Sebastian was a better excuse than anything else she might come up with.
If Varric asked her why she’d even brought the man, well. Mayra was far less sure of what she’d say to that.
“Hawke.” It was Fenris who broke the silence after they left the chantry, Sebastian safely out of the way, her protection from the upcoming conversation, gone.
“Yes?” she glanced at her companions only briefly before setting out further into Hightown.
“What was that, back there with that Antivan?”
Mayra gave a shrug, turning to head toward Lowtown instead of back to her home. Anders was waiting for her there, after all, and if this conversation was happening, she couldn’t go home and face him in the middle of it. “It was sex. Rough, passionate, extremely flexible sex, no strings attached.”
“Very well.” Fenris gave a huff, pushing her into an alley. “Not that I’m complaining too terribly for you being less than faithful to that mage, but why, Hawke? What’s happened that you do this now, after three years of this?”
Mayra couldn’t meet his eye, turning away from Fenris and Varric both, instead choosing to stare at the rough stone wall beside her. “It doesn’t matter.”
“The fuck it doesn’t matter.” Fenris growled, “If there’s a reason for me to rip out his heart, just tell me the word.”
“It’s not anything like that.” Mayra finally turned to face him with a glare. “I know you’re just looking for an excuse, but I’m not going to give you one. If you wanted to have a say in what I do, you should have thought of that before you walked away.”
“I-”
“No. Go home, Fenris, if all you can think of is how much you’d like to rip out Anders’ heart, I don’t need that.”
Fenris stood there, staring for a moment before he turned with a short nod, leaving Mayra to breathe a sigh of relief as she was left alone in the alley with Varric.
“Hawke…” Varric’s voice was soft when he broke the silence, his voice tinged with concern instead of the accusation that had filled Fenris’.
“You going to tell me how I shouldn’t have done it if he really means so much to me?”
Varric shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “No. I’m not about to go guilting people for what they do or don’t do. But if you want to talk about it, well, I owe you a pint, at least.”
Mayra gave a small nod, pushing herself away from the alley wall. “A pint sounds good. Maybe that will actually help keep my mind off of everything with Anders.”
“Sex didn’t work? And here I thought that was always a sure call for you.”
That got a laugh out of Mayra, the first genuine smile since they’d headed toward the Crows’ camp. “I thought so, too.”