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The rain came down in endless sheets. Sollux watched it skid down the glass doors leading out to the back deck, too much to be distinguished into individual drops. The sky was flat and gray, heralding nothing but more gloominess. Fuck, he hated this kind of weather. Contrary to stereotypes that a moody, volatile guy like him would enjoy stormy weather, never mind the obvious psionics-lightning connection, Sollux didn’t care for it at all. It only worsened his depression, like the inner workings of his mind couldn’t help reflecting the environment outside. He couldn’t wait for the sun to come back out eventually. Something like that might even make it easy for Eridan to drag him outside, at least as far as their backyard. Lounging in the safe Earth C sun like a lizard on a rock sounded divine.
Right now though, he had no sun, no warmth, no comfy spot, and no Eridan. He’d been out for a while, enough to start making Sollux uneasy. There was no need for lengthy hunts on this planet, no reason to be gone for more than a few hours without his mate.
Necessity and desire were two different things though. There was one reason he could think of for why Eridan would want to be out alone for a prolonged time. For at least some of that time, he wasn’t alone.
He closed his eyes, pulling a nearby blanket over himself, and snuggled into it as he tried to envision the scene. He could see Eridan stalking down rain-soaked streets, hiding himself with a dark cape in the shadows whenever someone grew suspicious and looked around for who might be following them. And if anyone did dare to look directly at him, or worse, question what he was up to, his status as a violetblood was more than enough to shield him. Earth C didn’t place as much importance on the hemospectrum as they were used to back on Alternia, especially if Eridan had wandered into more human-heavy neighborhoods, but it still meant something. The strength and sway of an average seadweller couldn’t be denied.
Who would he have set his sights on? A handsome man, maybe, a powerful one. Not nearly as powerful as Eridan or Sollux himself, naturally. Few people were. But strong enough to pose a challenge, to excite him. What kind of look would be on his face when he—?
No, he shouldn’t have let himself start thinking about things like that. Nothing good would come of it. Contemplating his mate’s proclivities for who knows how long until he returned? It wouldn’t change the reality of what he would have to deal with. All he could do was wait, and so he turned on the TV, flicking through the channels in search of some kind of distraction.
He’d barely settled into a rather shitty heist movie, the kind where hackers just keysmashed on their laptops with a neon green screen glowing at them and they were magically into whatever system they wanted. It was the kind of thing that he secretly loved for the sheer awfulness of it, and for the opportunities it provided to infodump to Eridan about all the ways the writers got the concept of hacking totally wrong in unforgivable ways. The movie hadn’t even really gotten to the good part yet when he heard the front door open.
“ED?” he called out, sitting up straight right away. The blanket pooled around him, and he scrunched the soft fabric anxiously in both fists, working over the edge of it with his fingers. “That you? Where’ve you been?”
There was no answer at first, only the thud of heavy, booted footsteps on the floor, followed by another, more distant thud that he knew was Eridan putting away Ahab’s Crosshairs.
“ED?” Sollux called again. A little voice in the back of his head argued that he should get up to go check on him if he was really worried, but something kept him rooted in place, waiting. Like, as long as he couldn’t hear or see the proof of what had occurred, it didn’t need to be real. So he waited, drawing his knees up to his chest. Onscreen, the human hacker was flipping open a chunky old laptop with way too much aplomb.
“Sol,” a miserable little voice said in the moment before Eridan came into view. “I messed up.” Then he came around the couch, stepping into Sollux’s sightline and blocking the TV. He was soaked nearly to the skin with rain, and more alarmingly, splatters of blue blood that ranged from barely noticeable against the black of his sweater to paint-like over his pants and scarf. His hair gel must have all washed out in the rain, hanging limply down his forehead and curling damp and disheveled around his fins. His face was drawn and solemn, looking in that moment sweeps older than he was.
“What happened?” waas all he could get out in reply, though he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer. It made Eridan wince like he’d been slapped.
“I wanted it so bad. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about it, killin’ again. I went out thinkin’ I’d get tired of wanderin’ around in the awful fuckin’ damp and wouldn’t be able to find no one suitable anyhow, an’ then I’d get it all out of my system and come hive to you. And that’d be that for a while. Like last time. But then...” He faltered and trailed off into silence, his lower lip trembling, and the impression of a much older Eridan melted into a younger one instead. Sollux’s bloodpusher clenched in his chest, fingers beginning to tire of their endless fiddling with the blanket.
“But then you did find someone suitable,” he finished for him. Somehow, his voice didn’t tremble. It remained even, neutral, like they were discussing the grocery shopping. Something far more normal than his quadrantmate’s unfortunate penchant for murder. More acceptable on Alternia, maybe, but here, they called people like that serial killers.
“Yeah. Real asshole of a blue, talkin’ to his assistants like they were scum, smackin’ ‘em around in public like it was nothin’, and no one else even liftin’ a finger to intervene. He spilled hot coffee on those poor fuckers, Sol, and I just couldn’t let it stand. So I tailed him. Bided my time for a long while.”
“Until he was alone?” It was a genuine question that time, not merely intended to fill in the gaps so Eridan didn’t have to keep talking. Sollux really hoped he wasn’t hard up enough to want to kill in clear view of witnesses, even if said witnesses were victims who might be grateful to have been done a favor. Thankfully, Eridan nodded. Sollux’s hand dropped back down into his lap, where he’d been starting to reach for his phone. Good. He really didn’t want to have to bring in anyone else for a coverup. Who would he even ask in that scenario? Serket?
“Yeah, I waited ‘til he was headed hive alone. It was rainin’ real hard by then, awful visibility. Almost too easy to get away with.” The tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips, obviously relishing the memory even as he was wracked with guilt over his inability to abstain from violence. “I know I shouldn’t have gone through with it, Sol, but it was so—”
“It’s okay,” he interrupted. “You don’t— I don’t need the details of how it happened. It’s okay. We’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Eridan said anyway. Sollux thought he might have even meant it.
“It’s okay,” he said again, hearing how dull and lifeless his own voice sounded. However worn out he’d felt before his mate got back hive, suffering from the anticipation of waiting and wondering, he felt twenty times as exhausted with the truth blue-splattered and radiating the metallic stink of blood right in front of him. “Let’s just get you cleaned up. You’re not touching any of the furniture like that. Meet me in the ablutions, yeah?”
Eridan nodded. Sollux caught sight of a little twitch at the corner of his mouth. Unclear whether he was fighting the temptation to argue with him or his body’s desire to melt down into hysterics. Silent aside from a heavy exhale out mouth and gills alike, he turned on his heel and stalked off to the ablutionsblock for a shower. He could probably deal on his own, wasn’t like Sollux had to worry about him drowning if he fell asleep in there, but even so, he’d help. It would get them both warm and cozy sooner.
Even with that goal in mind, he waited a minute before following. Just to gather himself. Sollux stared blankly ahead at the movie, absorbing none of it. He was tired of this. He was tired of helping scrub bloodstains out of expensive clothes and of watching it swirl down the shower drain. He was tired of watching his mate clean the Crosshairs and know what it was used for. Tired of the stress and secretiveness over something that everyone would either turn a blind eye to or outright praise on Alternia. Tired of the mental gymnastics required to evade his own morals.
But for Eridan, he’d keep doing it all. Sollux dragged himself up from the couch and plodded, slowly but surely, to the ablutionsblock.