Archive of Our Own

“Did you hear? Nakahara’s back.”

“That monster? How did they even let him back into Hogwarts?!”

“No clue, but now I’m so scared! I heard he is a ruthless psycho like his entire family!”

“I heard he had murdered hundreds of mighty wizards in a matter of seconds! I never expected such a thing from a Griffindor wizard, did he enchant the Sorting Hat or something?! Such psychos don’t belong with Griffindor.”

“Yeah, I agree! And I think I heard something like that too! I think… He had his demon, Arahabaki, eviscerate them all and then ate them to steal their magic! Yeah!”

“Goodness gracious, how in Merlin’s beard did they even accept him back?!”

“I have no clue! But I am certain that once the pureblood wizards return from their annual summit, they will concertedly put an end to this–!”

“Boo.” Chuuya couldn’t help but feast on the sight of the stupid little idiots from the fifth year shake in their boots the second they heard his quiet growly voice from their back. In a blink of an eye, they vanished, shrieking in fear, hushed whispers of “since when can he even talk anyway?”, and Chuuya only stood there, laughing quietly.

“That was more entertaining than I expected, huh…”

****

Even among the purebloods, Dazai Osamu was always an exceptional child. A prodigal wizard from his earliest years, he was well-known among his peers even before enrolling to Hogwarts. A child of great intelligence and an even greater prudence in magical encounters, everyone kept an eye out for him as he began his first year in Hogwarts.

Or, at least, that’s what Dazai preffered to think. Because, while his magical prowess was undeniable, the alternative was less pleasant. Everyone looked at Dazai so much because of his brother. The older brother Osamu loved with all his heart, and yet the pure-blood society seemed to hate nonetheless. A “stain” on Dazai’s “flawless reputation”. Oda Sakunosuke, the half-blood oldest child of his now-deceased mother, born to a muggle man. A disgrace to the name of the great Dazais, he was a mistake that was to be corrected by Osamu, a “proper” pure-blood child born into the union of two pure-blood wizards, as his mother had married anew, her husband being a well-respected wizard from the Ministry of Magic itself, Ogai Mori.

Dazai wanted to think everyone wanted him to achieve great things, and thus they’ve been ogling him so scrutinizingly. But deep inside, he knew it wasn’t the case. Everyone was just waiting for him to stumble, so that they could finally have a chance to badmouth him, and his family alongside him, to his face.

Sometimes, when Dazai walked through the halls of the Slytherin wing, he thought he could already hear faint whispers of insults, all talking about Odasaku and him. He chose to not clarify if it was his own imagination or reality. Either way, Odasaku asked him to be dismissive of such remarks.

And yet, each day it was tougher to do. Because he no longer could pretend like it was just his imagination. He knew it was real. Each day, he heard those whispers only more and more. And yet he tried to not act upon his urges. That’s what his family would have wanted. His brother. Yes…

But no matter how much he tried restricting himself, when he caught the wind about a certain commotion in the Slytherin wing, he couldn’t help but run straight to the center of events.

And what he saw there changed his life forever, as it was the moment little Osamu found the love of his entire life.

“Try to say shit about my older brother again, I dare you! Go on, you little bitch! Do it!!!” That was what the redhead boy in Gryffindor robes said, pinning the twice-higher Slytherin third year into the wall with a levitation spell, his control undeniably skillful.

The young Slytherin, to his pride, could not simply remain silent. “I said he is a filthy half-blood!! Disgusting and sickening mistake!!!” he spat angrily, and raised his wand, trying to cast a spell on the redhead. Dazai was about to lift his wand and force the bastard to eat slugs, but the redhead was faster.

He promptly made the Slytherin boy go up all the way to the ceiling, his head slamming against it, before falling onto the ground. The Gryffindor then saddled his weak injured body, and punched his hard across the face, knocking the Slytherin out.

The redhead got back onto his feet, and angrily looked at the crowd of spectators. “If any of you ever say shit about Verlaine again, I will make fucking sure you will meet a fate worse than this poor bastard. Don’t you fucking provoke me. I won’t hesitate to bite off your heads if yall ever insult my brother or any other wizard because of their blood in my presense.” And just like that, he left, leaving Dazai infatuated beyond belief.

***

Surely, Osamu was a very determined man even as a child, and by his second year, the love of his entire life, Chuuya Nakahara, became his best friend.

…or, well, he wasn’t exactly sure that’s what one calls a relationship they had.

“Dazai, don’t be a mule, gimme the moondrop pills already! I need to add them to the potion now, or else we will have to redo the whole thing, you idiot!!!”

“But Chuuuuuya, I wanna add the unicorn hair first!!!”

“You dumbass, this potion doesn’t even use the unicorn hair!!! Do you just wish to screw over my grades or something?!”

“Please, Chuuya, I could never! I just want to turn the potion blue!!! Besides! Isn’t Potions your favourite class? Surely I wouldn’t do that to my bestest friend in the entire universe!!!”

“Bullshit! Says the guy who places a damn firework in my broom on my first day in the Quidditch team!!! I nearly lost my place on the team because of you, bastard! And just for your information, the potion is supposed to be pink!!! P-I-N-K!!!!!”

“But Chuuuuya, blue is better!!! And regarding the Quidditch accident, I already made sure to apologize to you! I even gave you five records of your favourite tacky muggle singer, even tho I could never understand the appeal you see in her music!”

“Don’t you dare to insult Taylor Swift in my presence, you absolute swine!!! She’s a lyrical genius and you are too pea-brained to understand her–”

“Gee, you lovebirds. Could you stop flirting for a second? Your potion is bubbling out of the cauldron, you know…” Yuan, Chuuya’s friend from Gryffindor since his first day here, graciously informed them.

“First of all, we aren’t–! DAZAI, YOU FUCKER, FIX IT, OR WE ARE GONNA FAIL, AAAAA”

…but oh well, whatever relationship they had, it was a very entertaining one.

***

“–unfortunately, looks like your body still hasn’t fully recovered from the extensive amount of magic you have used up to summon Arahabaki, Chuuya. You will have to not use any magic for another month in order for your body to make a full recovery. Naturally, your wand also stays in our possession for now” doctor Yosano informed after finishing his check-up.

“Another month? Wasn’t the three months enough already?” Chuuya sighed in defeat, saddened by the notion.

“Nope.”

“Can’t you at least lemme play Quidditch?”

“Absolutely not.”

“But–”

“CHUUYA, YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!” A silver-haired boy in green robes barged into the medical wing of Hogwarts, short of breath.

“What is it, Shirase?” Chuuya asked tiredly, an unpleasant feeling settling within him.

“Okay, so, you know that Dazai came back today, right???” Shirase asked impatiently, and Chuuya curtly nodded in acknowledgement.

“Well, guess what!!! I just heard he got into Head Teacher Fukuzawa’s office!!! You won’t believe what he did, dude!!!–”

“I don’t think I want to know, actually.” Chuuya nonchalantly cut him off, already getting back up onto his feet and turning to leave the room, when Shirase continued anyway.

“Dude, he challenged SIXTY FIVE students to a duel!!! Because they were talking shit about you!!! AND HE ACTUALLY WON THEM ALL!!! Can you believe it?!?”. Shirase excitedly gestured with his hands, yet Chuuya didn’t share his fascination.

He only darkly hummed and shook his head.

“Idiot.”

(Because, of course, to his last moment, Chuuya would try his best to deny even to himself that his heart went frantic the second he heard about this, and that it took gigantic effort for him to not head to the head teacher’s office right away instead of simply making his way to his Potions class. After all, Chuuya knew he had no right to be in Dazai’s life)

***

For Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoyevsky and his annoying liege, Nikolai Gogol, were always one huge goddamn headache.

The bastards, being regrettably skillfull enough with magic for Chuuya to be unable to have a clear upperhand in battle, and regrettably sneaky enough with their disgraceful comments to make it out as if they were innocent lambs in front of the professors, were bad news always. Any time he so much as tried to initiate a battle with them after hearing a yet-another insult they threw at the muggle-born students, they would end up coming out unscathed and forcing a great punishment upon Chuuya by using some dirty trick to make him stumble while casting a spell and lying to everyone’s face afterwards, creating the reputation of a bully for Chuuya. Fyodor’s equally prestigious pure-blood family also didn’t allow Chuuya any advantage despite his exceptional magical skills, and thus he had no choice but to bite his anger back most of the times.

This time, however, it was exceptionally hard to do.

Because, even though they have made it conveniently seem like the doing of the school’s news club’s journalist Sigma, he just knew it was actually Fyodor who wrote the damn thing.

CHUUYA NAKAHARA: DISGRACE OF THE PURE-BLOODS, FRIENDS WITH MUDBLOODS

Chuuya crumpled the paper with his fist, and furiously stormed ahead. Screw it. He was gonna make the damn bastard eat the whole thing for breakfast, even if he got expelled for that later. Three years in Hogwarts was a pretty good run already, wasn’t it?

However, in three minutes that it took him to find Fyodor in the garden of Slytherin’s dormitory, he was already three minutes too late.

Fyodor, with his annoying liege knocked out cold lying right next to him, was currently being furiously beat up by… Osamu?

“Say, Fyodor, do you think I should turn your teeth into jello the next time you pull such shit?” Dazai asked with a cheery smile on his face, the look in his eyes positively nefarious. “Or wait, I should do it right now!” He quickly cast the spell, and landed another punch right at Fyodor’s left eye. “Hm, I think the next time you do this, I will murder you instead!! Does that sound good, hm?” He punched his right eye for a good measure, and spat into his face. Dazai then got up, and he lifted his wand to turn Fyodor into a rat, Nikolai regained conciousness and began casting a spell of his own.

Not on Chuuya’s watch though. He quickly shot a spell towards Nikolai, and turned him into a tiny bug.

“Chuuya!!!” Dazai rejoiced, smiling at him wide, Fyodor’s blood streaking his cheek.

“You idiot!” Chuuya smiled despire grumbling. “You will get into very serious trouble for this, you know?”

Dazai looked at him in a puzzled expression. “Chuuya, dearest, do I look like I care? Nobody gets to insult you on my watch!”

And that’s how Chuuya Nakahara fell hopelessly in love with Dazai Osamu.

***

On the second thought, maybe going to the head teacher’s office would have been a better choice.

At least that way, Chuuya wouldn’t have been attacked by a freeze-up spell he couldn’t even break. The caster? Dazai’s ever so wonderful fianceé, Sasaki Nobuko. To be perfectly honest, Chuuya also disliked her heavilythose damn locks of black hair smelling like an exquisite poison to him, (and his dislike surely had nothing to do with that he wished he was the one in her place), but even he didn’t dislike her that bad. Not to the point of point-blank attacking her anyway, in Hogwarts no less.

The only thing escaping Chuuya was… Why the hell did she even attack him? Last he checked she doesn’t have any real reason to but–

“You whore!!! Dazai broke off our engagement!!! And I bet it’s all your fault!!!” Sasaki rampaged, and it finally dawned upon Chuuya.

He burst out laughing.

“He broke off your engagement, you say? Well, good for him, I’d also not want such a hysterical bitch anywhere my close vicinity! Sucks to suck, you know. But seriously, why the fuck do you think I had literally anything to do with it? This is ridiculous, I hadn’t even seen him in months! And besides, everyone in Hogwarts knows the terms we are on, for fuck’s sake!” Chuuya complained, disturbed by the inconvenience of being unable to move. “Just unspell me already, I promise I had nothing to do with it”.

“Silence!”. Well, on the second thought, maybe insulting her was better after asking her to free him, especially since the professor wasn’t around to stop her, but Chuuya’s always been way too vocal and prideful to wither at her feet. And maybe death by little wyverns that she has summoned with her spell just now was a pretty fitting one for him. It was better than dying at the hands of Dark Lord Shibusawa anyway, so there’s that… If his wand wasn’t confiscated, he could have at least tried to defend himself… Ugh, fuck.

However, despite her spell, not a single wyvern dared to attack him. Weird. He couldn’t turn his head to look around in hopes of finding out why, but he didn’t need to, because the next second Sasaki has been turned into stone, and all the students who were too shocked to move just a second ago, finally sighed with relief.

Another moment later, Chuuya was unfrozen, and his eyes met with the pitch-black eyes of the man he loved so much.

Looks like Dazai was finally out of the head teacher’s office, and not even expelled. Good for him.

“Ow, Chuuya, aren’t you even gonna thank me for saving you?” he asked with that ever-so-teasing voice Chuuya yearned for with all his heart, but Chuuya only ignored him while taking his seat and looking away.

Unfortunately for him, Dazai confidently sat right next to him and smiled at him smugly. “Chuuya, you will have to use more words than that! Do you even have any idea how worried I was when I heard all the commotion? To think that such a talented little shorty would have fallen victim to some measly wyvern if not for yours truly! Just so that you know, I totally accept gratitude in kisses! Preferably mouth to–!”

“Go to hell”. That was all Chuuya had to say before getting up, or, well, trying to, because Dazai somehow managed to make him be glued to his seat with some shitty spell. Looks like the bastard just couldn’t allow himself to be inferior to Chuuya even in this regard, huh? He’s always been one competitive bitch, this guy…

“Oh how I missed that voice of yours, Chuuya! Hopefully I get to hear a lot more of it this year! You really got me good with the whole “mute” charade last time! But, as you can see, I learned a trick from your book, and now I’m even tougher to get rid of! You are stuck with me now~” Dazai lounged on the desk and leaned towards Chuuya, smiling like a cat.

Chuuya’s heart flipped inside his chest, yet he only scoffed and turned away, cursing Dazai under his breath.

He pretended he didn’t hear the soft murmur of “I really, really missed you, you know?”, and that it didn't make his heart tumble. Chuuya had to stay strong. Stay strong.

***

During their fourth year in Hogwarts, Chuuya and Osamu gained true notoriety within the dueling club. (Actually, they joined it because Dazai felt really bored one day, and Chuuya, of course, couldn’t say no to an opportunity to fight or to Dazai, but the decision did prove to be a worthy one in the end). Two prodigies with an aptitude to magic and everything adjacent to it, they often came there to cross wands.

The cozy autumn evening of a yet-another day in Hogwarts marked their twenty third round thus far, a tie breaker of eleven wins on the tally of each boy.

“Sonitus tonitruum!”. The room immediately filled with the sound of thunder, but, unfortunately for the spell’s caster, Chuuya, it didn’t seem to startle Dazai a single bit.

“My, Chuuya, bold of you to think some thunderroar could make me take my eyes off you!” Dazai retorted, and followed back with a spell. “Flos venarum!” In a second, Chuuya’s whole body was tied up by flower veins, and Dazai bemused at the sight. “You know, you look way prettier like this! You should stay like this, don’t you think?”

He was, however, disappointed to see Chuuya quickly burn the veins down and shooting another spell at Dazai. “Glacies sit!” he uttered, and Dazai has instantly become a statue of ice.

“You know…” he stepped awfully close to Dazai, and looked at him tenderly. “You too look very nice right now. Maybe I should place your statue in the garden of Nakahara’s estate and show it off to all my guests!”.

Dazai, of course, turned himself back into a human with an impressive speed. “My, my, Chuuya, you think I’m worth showing off to your guests? I’m flattered!”

Chuuya grinned. “If you are so flattered, would you consider giving up the duel?”

Dazai grinned even wider. “As if! Vertigo!” his voice rang out, and then he cast another spell. “Terram quassum!” The ground then began shaking violently, but it didn’t disturb Chuuya.

“As if that could stop me, dumbass! Dontcha know I’m a pro at controling gravity? I’m the best at flying on a broom, you know! Don’t you dare to disrespect me like that! Gravitas imperium!” And just like that, Chuuya’s feet were firmly on the ground, while Dazai sprung into the air.

However, that’s where Chuuya miscalculated.

“Disrespect you? Not at all! In fact, I was counting on you using that spell!” The next moment, Dazai used the wall to change his direction, and swiftly landed on top of Chuuya, pinning him onto the floor. He cast the final spell, and Chuuya became unable to move.

Dazai’s lips stretched out, and he leaned over Chuuya’s ear to murmur softly. “It’s 12-11 in my favour, Chuuya. You’ve lost.”

And, based on how furiously he was blushing at that moment, Chuuya couldn’t disagree. He did lose. His fucking mind, that is.

***

“This is impossible!” Chuuya exclaimed in exasperation while flouncing angrily around the room.

“Mhm” Yuan nodded with an unimpressed look.

“What is it this time?” asked Shirase with a spark of entertainment in his eyes.

“He fucking sent a fuckton of letters and some shitty gifts into my room!!! Geez, I need to cast the spell blocking owls again as soon as I get my wand back! Actually, can you guys cast it for me for now? Please? I’ve been DROWNING in letters last night!”

Yuan and Shirase exchanged a sarcastic glance.

“Haven’t you tried… I don’t know? Replying to him? I’m sure Dazai, of all people, would be absolutely delighted to stop disrupting your sleep as soon as you just stop avoiding him like he’s some sorta disease.” Yuan suggested, a look tired but hopeful.

“Absolutely not. I do not want to have anything to do with that guy.” With a determined shake of his head, Chuuya refused.

“C’mon, Chuuya, you can’t fool us! We know you are still head over heels for him! I know damn well you want to respond, and I know you ain’t blind either. Dazai is smitten with you! Just give that poor unfortunate soul a chance already, will ya? Nobody believes you hate him anyway, my friend.” Yuan tried to reason with Chuuya, and Shirase supported her with a “Yeah, man, for real!”.

Chuuya, of course, was not convinced.

“He should stop wasting him time. I will never date him.” The resolve in his voice was undeniable, and it was driving his friends undeniably up the wall.

“Chuuya. Listen. Stop torturing the poor guy! He’s going crazy already, scaring shitless those who were accidentally in his way of being paired up with you for lessons! I heard that in fencing lesson, he nearly cut a guy’s head off for standing “in his place”. Do you want him to kill someone for you to get your head out of your ass?”

Shirase snickered. “With how things are going, won’t take long. I heard that despite being punished, he keeps challenging students who insult you to duels. He’s like your lapdog, Chuuya!”

Chuuya rolled his eyes. “Y’know, that ain’t funny. That fucker even tried sleeping under the Gryffindor’s doorstep just to catch me! I’ve never been more thankful to Tachihara then when he helped me with that nuisance! Does Dazai have no pride, huh?”

Yuan sighed. “Chuuya. Are you stupid?”

Chuuya arched his brow, offended. “The fuck you tryna say?”

“Open your damn eyes! Don’t you read the news?”

Chuuya mumbled, “Well, I mean, not really… Especially with all the stuff they write about me now… Why?”. To that, Yuan shook her head.

“I will have you know that suspiciously right after Sasaki tried to kill you, the entire Nobuko family got exposed for conducting corruption in the Ministry of Magic, as well as monetary fraud with the investments from Grindgotts. They are the new talk of the hour, and their pure-blood reputation is destroyed. Any ideas as to why that might be and just who might have possessed such an information? Hmmmm?” Yuan questioned.

Chuuya looked down, hiding his eyes, and mumbled. “No.”

Yuan tsked. “Please, even Shirase could figure this much out.”

Shirase nodded enthusiastically. “It was his older brother, Odasaku!”

Yuan sighed. Very heavily.

Chuuya was on the brink of bursting out laughing, when he noticed a bouquet of flowers floating his way. Shit. Must be Dazai’s doing again. Time to make a run for it.

***

“Chuuya, boy, you are in an excellent age to get engaged! Any young girl from the noble pure-blood families would love to be the bride of such a capable young wizard!”

“I am terribly sorry but I… umm, have a Quidditch match to attend to! Yeah, I have a Quidditch match I need to see right this second! Mhm!”

“But it’s… Eleven in the evening?”

“Yeah, well… It’s a Quidditch match in Taiwan– OH I MEAN KOREA– I MEAN JAPAN. Yeah, Japan, they have a different time zone!”

“Dazai, my son, wouldn’t you like to get engaged? You are a very desirable candidate, I’m sure now is a good moment to find you some nice girl.”

“Oh, father, I’m sorry but I think I have a very bad case of a very contagious staccato flue tuberculosis espresso heart infection! Any bride I have would be faced with the misfortune of having to deal with this awful, awful condition!”

“Osamu. I have undergone years of training in medical magic. There isn’t such a disease.”

“Okay. Fine. I… Like someone already.”

“Oh.”

“And it’s a boy.”

“...”

“Is he at least a pure-blood?”

“Yes, father.”

“Is he a good wizard?”

“The best I know.”

“Oh. Okay then, son.”

***

As a wizard who failed pretty much every subject during his 6th year in Hogwarts, Chuuya had twice the amount of studying to do. And his by far least-favourite subject was… The Dragon language. 

Which is why he, as an ambitious and stubborn wizard, was currently sitting in the Hogwarts’s library, girlbossing his way into trying his best to read the book Professor Marry had assigned him to complete a week ago already on the very basics of the language of the dragons. He had to admit tho, that no amount of matcha and cookies by his side could help him be any more patient with it.

“Hei v-venn, gratilure…? Oh, gratulerer med dagen, da– oh shit, denne gaven er til deg, alt det bestie– ehem, beste til deg… UGH I HATE THIS STUPID LANGUAGE, I DON’T UNDERSTAND JACKSHIT!!” Chuuya pulled at his hair and growled.

“Need help, little fairy?” a velvety melodic voice drawled, and Chuuya flinched.

“Get the fuck out.”

“But Chuuuya…” Dazai gave him an impish grin, “How could I possibly watch my dearest little ginger being on the verge of sticking himself on one of the Hogwarts’s spires without helping you? I’ll have you know I’m almost as excellent at reading Dragonic as I am at admiring the absolute gorgeous beauty of your lithe little frame and–”

Chuuya blushed furiously, his red lock conveniently helping the book he held in his hands hide it with somewhat of a success. He spat, “Get lost. I don’t want your help, bastard.”

“Don’t be so rude, Chuuya! It’s not a very good look on you.” Dazai beamed, and Chuuya’s heart clenched.

“Oh yeah? And what is, pray tell?” He shot back in his best act of an angry, venomous voice.

“Your wonderful new hairstyle, thanks for asking. I happen to quite fancy it, actually. This lovelock you have going on creates a nice balance, and your adorable little curls frame your face exquisitely. I could look at you all day and never get tired.” He reached over and took a quick sip of Chuuya’s tea, humming in enjoyment.

“Shut up. I’d pluck your eyeballs out if you stare at me so much.” Chuuya angrily muttered, and turned his attention back to his book.

Dazai’s elegant slim fingers allow him no such chance though, and Dazai quickly lowers the book, his face suddenly so close to Chuuya’s that he could feel their noses touch.

“If the last thing I see before going blind is that adorable blush you are trying to hide right now, I will die a happy man.” He smiled at Chuuya and stared straight into his eyes. “Have I ever told how pretty your eyes are? They are the shade of the high-class stone used in my estate.”

Chuuya’s eyes, however, were looking only at Dazai’s lips, as if he was entranced.

“...say, bastard… Did I ever tell you how pretty your mouth looks?” he said, his voice hoarse and quiet.

“Y-you think so?” Dazai’s breath suddenly went still, and Chuuya could hear just how loud Dazai’s heart was beating out of his chest, his cheeks turning the shade of scarlet Chuuya craved to see each day of his life until his final days, and yet he knew he could not be harbouring such hopes.

“Mhm. When it’s shut the hell up.” To Dazai’s surprise, the next second his mouth got sealed together, and he belatedly realized something. Chuuya’s opulent white wand was back in his possession, returned safely to its rightful owner. A shame, but oh well, at least Chuuya was recovering well.

Chuuya used Dazai’s moment of confusion to get out of his grasp, and the second Dazai tried to get up and catch Chuuya, he noticed that Chuuya was also learning the tricks from Dazai’s book. He used the same spell Dazai used in the Potions class to glue him to his seat. Damn it.

“Oh, and please, for salamender’s sake,” Chuuya stopped midway out of the library to tell Dazai, “Didn’t I tell you I hate you? Stop following me around and chasing me. Leave me alone, Dazai. It’s getting out of hand. Especially with that one time you glued us together for the whole day. I will cast a diarrhea upon you if you pull this shit again.”

“No.”

“Dazai.”

“I. Said. No.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“You are being delusional. Just stop already.”

“No chance.”

And just that once, Chuuya didn’t feel like having that conversation was what he wanted that day. He wasn’t ready, not emotionally anyway.

“Seriously, fuck you. And also, for the love of Merlin, stop dueling people, it’s too damn annoying. You hear me, Osa– Dazai?”

“I will stop if you call me Osamu”. Oh that smug fucking bastard. He lounged on the chair with a shit-eating grin, munching on Chuuya’s cookies and sipping the tea he abandoned. “Go on, Chuuya, you can do it.”

Chuuya sighed heavily. “I hope you choke to death on those cookies, Osamu. ”

Dazai sing-songed in response, “I missed you calling me that, Chuuya . That’s way cuter than you pretending to hate me, you know?” He winked, and Chuuya threw a book into his face.

Damn bastard.

***

One of scariest things Dazai Osamu even had to witness happened to him the day Chuuya returned from his family estate to Hogwarts after the Christmas break on their fourth year.

Chuuya’s usually brisk walk was replaced with a slight stagger, a burly servant of the Nakahara’s escorting him to school. He stepped onto the threshold, and the cut on his leg opened up in the most treacherous moment, bleeding once again. His face, with a big red cut on the left cheek, scrunched up in pain, and Chuuya cussed out loud.

“Chuuya…! What the hell happened to you?!” Dazai rushed to his side, helping him steady himself.

“Hey, Dazai. Fancy seeing you again. I… Okay, well, that’s a little tricky to explain.”

“You will have to try”. Dazai grunted out, unamused.

“M’kay, I’ll.. try.” Chuuya mumbled, while Dazai slowly helped him make his way into the Gryffindor dormitory.

“Okay, so… You know the family I’m from, the Nakaharas?”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Whoa, look at you, referencing muggle books. I’ve been rubbing off on you, haven’t I?”

“Oh shut it” Dazai elbowed Chuuya’s stomach gently, but regretted it right away as Chuuya doubled up in pain. “Sorry.”

“Ehem, as I was saying, the… State I am in right now is partially cus of my family.”

“Do they abuse you? You know I could always curse them for you and steal you away if you just say a word, right?”

“First of all, you wish you could do that, my family is way too badass for a weakling like you!”

“Rude!”

“And second of all… Basically, thing is… We… summon demons. That’s our special magical art.”

“Like Satan?”

Chuuya chuckled. “Nah. Remember my older sister, Kouyou?”

“Mhm.”

“She has the Golden Demon, that’s a really cool one, y’know. And Verlaine– do you remember who Verlaine is?”

“Of course. Your half-brother in France.”

“Yeah. He has Guivre. That’s one of the most badass ones there is!”

“So, you got so injured trying to summon a demon?”

“Yeah, that’s why.”

“Did your family members also get that beaten up in the process when they were summoning their demons?”

“Well.. no but…”

“Oh wow, prodigal Chuuya Nakahara sucks at something for once!”

“Shut up! That’s not why!”

“Oh?” Dazai giggled. “Then pray tell, why?”

“I am trying to subdue the coolest demon of them all, Arahabaki!” The boy claimed proudly, before stumbling. Dazai didn’t allow him to fall, however.

“And why in the world is he so cool anyway? I don’t see the appeal of that guy if all he does is get you this fucked up?”

“You just don’t get it! Nobody in history managed to so much as get a response from Arahabaki! But I did! He even appeared for a short while–”

“–I bet he looked really unprepossessing.”

“He looked scary as fuck! Which is cool!!”

“And which is also why you got injured so bad?”

“Yeah, but I won’t be fazed by this shit! You will see, Osamu, I will definitely become the greatest in my whole family! That demon will surely warm up to me over time, you will see!”

“Just don’t get yourself killed. It would be stupid to die just to make your family proud.”

“I mean… Yeah. But my pride as a wizard is also at stake! Besides, don’t you want to make your family proud too?”

“I don’t. They are already blessed with a shrewd prodigy such as myself. Besides, not all pure-blood families are created equal. While all of them might have once helped bring down the Dark Lord, some of them are unimpressive at best. What makes my family cool is that we use our magical prowess and brains as our leverage like the best family we are, we don’t feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone by summoning the coolest demon and – OUCH!”

Chuuya stepped on his foot.

“Shut up, bastard! My family is cooler!”

“No, mine is!”

***

Of all things Chuuya missed greatly since his return to Hogwarts, Quidditch was probably the second biggest one on the list. Being a seeker on his team since his second year in Hogwarts, even more importantly – his team’s captain, since the fifth year, was something strangely dear to Chuuya’s heart.

The bustling of brisk wind in his ears as he dived for the snitch, the feeling of the steady broom in his hands keeping him afloat, the smooth golden ball in his palm, and the infectious cheers and roars of the crowd as he won… It was all strangely addictive to a competitive soul that was Chuuya.

Granted, now there probably won’t be nearly as many supporters in the crowd. Given Chuuya’s reputation, stained with all the rumours surrounding his name, he was only surprised by the unwavering trust his teammates have shown to have in him. He was so touched, really, that he was almost ready to cry, but, once again, he was too prideful for that. So now, he wanted to thank his team for their kindness by bringing them a win in this match.

And it didn’t matter if not a single soul would support him.

Or, well, Chuuya wished he didn’t care… He knew he did. But he also realized just how destructive such desires were. And thus, he chose to ignore them.

Chuuya took a deep breath and exhaled as calmly and slowly as he could. “Fake it till you make it, Chuuya”. He was about to take a step forward, ready to join his team in the waiting room before the match, when he felt something wrap around his neck. He pulled his wand out with a thunderous speed and was ready to fight his attacker back when he whipped around and heard a chuckle of “Fake it till you make what?”.

Dazai. That damn bastard. He must have teleported here.

“None of your–” Chuuya suddenly stopped midsentence, belatedly remembering there’s still something wrapping around his neck. He rapidly looked down. It’s a scarf. A Slytherin scarf.

Chuuya instinctually pulled the scarf down, hoping to take it off, but the soft yarn didn’t move an inch.

“What the hell, Dazai?!” he screamed out in shock, an incredulous look in his eyes demanding Dazai undo this right this second.

“It’s getting cold and windy today, and you didn’t have your scarf on. I was worried, so I decided to drop by and give you this. It’s your first game after returning to the position of the captain, it would be a shame for you to get sick.” Oh, that goddamn shine of Dazai’s eyes. Chuuya didn’t deserve it. He really didn’t.

“Dazai…” Chuuya sighed heavily before looking him directly into the eyes, probably the first time he had done so on his own ever since the year began. “Why are you doing this? Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop going after me. I told you I don’t want you around. Can you get lost? Please?” Chuuya tried his best to hide the crack in his voice.

“Why would I?” Dazai asked as if Chuuya just said something utterly ridiculous.

“Because I don’t want to keep hurting you.” And it was probably the first sincere thing Dazai heard from Chuuya this year, the pretence of hatred dropped at last.

“Then don’t.”

“Dazai, please.”

“Chuuya.”

“ Osamu . I’m begging you. Stop. Stop doing this to me. Stop doing this to yourself. I told you I would never agree.” At this point, the crack was probably impossible to hide. Oh well, at least Chuuya tried.

“I would never stop. I told you already, never.” Chuuya hated how gently Dazai smiled at Chuuya despite the fact he didn’t deserve a single bit of his kindness. Why wasn’t he giving up?

“Do you want me to curse you? Get lost, I need to take this thing off before the match begins.” Chuuya muttered and threw a furious glance at Dazai, only hoping he didn’t look like a kicked puppy. Dazai didn’t seem to mind at all.

“You won’t be able to.” He promised confidently, and then added with a smug smirk, “And if you somehow do break the spell, I will make certain to leak the poetries you wrote for Kouyou during 4th year to Hogwarts’s newsletter. Sigma still owes me for that one time I saved him from getting expelled, remember?”

Chuuya looked like Dazai just slaughtered his beloved puppy. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Do you want to find out?”

“...No.”

Dazai hummed proudly. “Excellent”.

And, after a beat, “You know… If you ask me really nicely, I could take it off for you myself.”

Chuuya arched his brow. “The catch?”

Dazai smiled triumfantly. “Aaaand there’s the Chuuya I love so much.” A roll of Chuuya’s eyes. “There isn’t really a catch, you will just have to say Osamu, take this off, pretty please~ .”

“Over my dead cold fucking body.”

“It’s either this or the entire Hogwarts will be discussing your precious little scarf. Choose wisely, Chuuya.”

“...”

And a moment of silence later, “O-Osamu, take this off… please”.

“You forgot ‘pretty”, Dazai taunted.

“...Pretty please”, Chuuya practically spat out.

“Well, that will do for now.” Dazai shrugged and leaned over to get his hands on Chuuya’s scarf. Chuuya felt his throat go dry when he noticed just how much taller than him Dazai had gotten over the years. Damn bastard.

Dazai’s breath was so close to Chuuya he could hear it clearly, but the Slytherin wizard didn’t even think of creating more distance between them. Instead, he leaned even closer and… Pressed a kiss to Chuuya’s cheek?!

Chuuya froze, a shriek dying down in his throat, his brain barely functioning enough to register an ever-so-soft “Good luck with the game” the bastard murmured into his ear before teleporting away.

Damn it, he didn’t even take the scarf off.

Chuuya will surely curse him next time they meet.

(Chuuya did not, in fact, end up cursing Dazai the next time they met.)

***

“DAZAI OSAMU!!! COME OUT, YOU FUCKER!!!”

“Chuuya, will you please stop banging on my door so hard? You are scaring me!”

“Stop being a dramaqueen, you bastard! WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW MY NAME INTO THE GOBLET?!”

“Chuuya, I’m just the fifth year, how could have I possibly achieved such a thing?! I’m hurt by your accusations!”

“You asked one of your cohorts, didn’t you, you duplicitous bastard?”

“Hehe.”

“HEHE MY FUCKING ASS, I’M IN TROUBLE NOW!”

“That’s your own fault, Chuuya. You got yourself injured again.”

“I told you I was tryna summon Arahabaki, you jerk!”

“And I told you to not get yourself killed, and you came back all bandaged and wounded!!!”

“So you decided to punish me by inflicting an even-bigger danger upon me?!?!”

“YES! SO THAT MAYBE YOU FINALLY STOP BEING SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE IDIOT AND START TAKING CARE OF YOUR LIFE”

“WELL ISN’T THAT JUST SOOOOO KIND OF YOU, OSAMU?! I HOPE YOU DIE OF GUILT IF THIS SHIT KILLS ME”

And instead of an equally loud followback, all Chuuya got in response was silence.

“Hey? Dazai?”

And then, a quiet, “You won’t die. I’m certain, Chuuya. It will be okay.”

“...”

And then…

“Ugh, you really are a bastard, Osamu…:

***

‘Phew, didn’t get caught after all’ thought Chuuya, looking at the one final potion he brewed to compensate for his disastrous grades during year six. He knew it was a necessary thing for him to graduate, and yet the potion’s bubbly iridescent surface made Chuuya’s stomach twist, reminding him of the cynical soirees he once had to attend. Screw the damn Hogwarts with its stupid rules.

And besides, it’s not even like Chuuya truly sucked at potion-making during year six. He was just that great at faking it. Jokes on Professor Hirotsu for not realizing his best student was fooling him, really. But now that he did know the truth, Chuuya did feel a little annoyed by having to waste his time on making it again, because, unfortunately, it’s not even Chuuya’s first time making amortentia.

And the first time, surely, was nothing pleasant at all, Chuuya still flinches at the memory. Well, nothing except for the potion’s smell, of course. He could never hate that heart-warming mix of winter snow frostiness with the cracking notes of a burning pinetree and the smell of a fresh ink filling the air. Then, and now.

Which was another big pain in Chuuya’s ass, actually. Because the need to make amortentia anew also demanded that Chuuya make it a priority to somehow find a way to brew it without the owner of the said smell ever finding out about it for the sake of his own sanity. Some might consider it silly, but Chuuya was legitimately terrified at the thought of Dazai catching him in the act and somehow forcing the information out of him. No, that absolutely should not happen. No, no, no. No.

That’s why, Chuuya took every precaution he could possibly think of to avoid this ever happening. And, stepping out of the class, having the potion bottled up successfully, all signs of his presence removed from the room, he thought he really did succeed.

“Brewing amortentia, are we?”

Or not.

“AGH! What are you doing here, you freak?! It’s 11pm!!!” Chuuya exclaimed in terror.

“Please, Chuuya” Dazai rolled his eyes, “I could ask you the same thing, but since I already know you were making amortentia, I’m not even gonna bother.” He grinned smugly, his hand pressing against the doorframe close to Chuuya’s ear.

“Go away already.” Chuuya grumbled and sighed.

“After coming all this way here? No way. I don’t feel sleepy at all.” Dazai stubbornly refused, and Chuuya felt like punching him just a bit.

“Well, I do. Get out of my way.”

“Nope. You will be coming with me.”

“Coming where?”

Dazai stretched his lips in a satisfied smile. “Glad you asked. I’ve been wanting to check out a new fancy arcade they opened in London, and I thought you would be the perfect companion for me there. Just me, you, and the bright lights of London at night. What do you think?”

Chuuya scowled. “I think you should go fuck yourself.” He tried to push Dazai out of the way, but the guy didn’t budge. Probably some spell again, Chuuya was always physically stronger by far.

Dazai’s smile turned darker. “Eh, and here I was hoping to avoid resorting to this. But alas…” In a blink of an eye, he pulled out his light yet nicely sculptured black wand, a spell making Chuuya’s feet one with the ground cast in a second.

“Now then, Chuuya… Allow me to explain. Either you go with me to the arcade, or…” he took a second to pull out something out of his robe, and Chuuya’s heart skipped a beat, “...I will personally feed you this serum of truth right here and make you spill your guts about all of your secrets, including just whose smell did you sense making that amortentia potion just now. So allow me to ask you again, what do you think?”. Chuuya hated how even the darker edge of Dazai was so dear to his heart, that jerk.

He took a moment to stare into the silence, pondering just what did he do wrong so that his life turned into such a mess, and begruddginly mumbled, “Fine. I guess the arcade doesn’t sound that bad ..”

“Perfect!” Dazai gently grabbed his hand, and in a heartbeat teleported them to their place of destination.

(“How did you know I was making amortentia though?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Chuuya. You know how.”) 

***

The first thing that happened to Chuuya after barely escaping death at the hands of the Dark Lord Shibusawa, a now-reborn dark wizard who just a few minutes ago was strangling the life out of Chuuya, the freshly-appointed winner of the Triwizard tournament, while Shibusawa’s loyal Death Eaters were forming an inescapable circle around them, was Dazai. His warm, almost scorching, tender hands, embracing Chuuya like he was the most important thing in the whole wide world. His faint, brittle exhales on the verge of crying. His terrified eyes looking directly into Chuuya’s own disconcerted ones in relief.

“Hey. Y’know, I’m really damn dirty right now. From, you know, rolling around in the mud of the hollow. And I probably have some soot on my–”

“Shut up.”

“Dazai.”

“I said shut up!”

“Hey, are you sobbing?”

“...”

“Holy shit, you are. Hey.”

“Hey, Dazai.”

“...”

“I’m okay. I’m fine now.”

“He nearly killed you!” Dazai’s hands hugged him tighter, but gentle enough to not crush his ribs. He began crying even harder, his head lowered onto Chuuya’s shoulder, and the fabric on Chuuya’s shoulder soon got damp.

“I’m not that easy to kill, Osamu”

“Chuuya.” he growled.

Chuuya indesicively patted Dazai’s back.

“It’s okay. Now I’m safe. I’m back.”

“If it wasn’t for Head Teacher Fukuzawa, you would have ended up dead!”

“But I didn’t die.”

“You could have! And it all would have been my fault!” Dazai began crying harder, his sobs so furious they turned into shaking that made Chuuya’s heart ache.

“...you know, I didn’t really mean it when I said I hope the guilt kills you if I die.”

“Of course I know.”

“...”

“You know, Chuuya… I was scared I would lose you. Forever.”

“Oh. You… were?”

“I… I never want to lose you. Please. Just be fucking safe.”

“Well, it wasn’t my fault this time, was it?” Chuuya chuckled darkly, before realizing he shouldn’t have said that. “Sor–”

“It wasn’t, yes.” Dazai cut his off before he could apologize. “It was the damn Death Eaters’ and Shibusawa’s fault. Curse them. Curse them all.” Dazai shook harder, now hugging Chuuya with all his might. “I hate them. Hate them. Hate hate hate hate hate hate.”

“Yeah, fuck Death Eaters.”

“But…” Dazai swallowed hard. “It’s also my fault.”

“Is not.”

“Chuuya, no need to reassure me. I fucked up. Please, I… I just want to say I’m so so so sorry for throwing your name into the goblet.”

“Don’t apologize. You knew I always wanted to participate.”

“And yet! I nearly lost you because of my stupidity.”

“But you didn’t.” Chuuya whispered and put his head on Dazai’s shoulder. “I am here, and I am not going anywhere. So get it together, will ya?”

“...”. A sob. Another one. “...okay.”

A nod of Chuuya’s head.

“Oh, and Dazai. You are strangling me.”

He immediately let go. “I’m sorry”.

“It’s fine. Now lets just… Focus on the positives. At least I won the tournament, didn’t I?”

“...”

“Okay, yeah, not a very good time for that…”

“...”

Chuuya took a shaky breath.

“Oh, and… I’m sorry too. For, you know, making you worry so much.”

“Just never do it again.”

“I’ll try.”

“Chuuya!!!”

***

Seeing Dazai on his doorstep the first thing in the morning was a strange occurrence. Usually, if Dazai felt like mischief, he would send Chuuya a letter by his owl, not… come in person. But today was by no stretch of imagination a usual day.

“Hello, Chuuya!~” Dazai sing-songed with his cheeriest smile on, and Chuuya’s stomach turned unpleasantly. “I was wondering if you’d like to–”

“Would you be my date for the Yule Ball?” Chuuya cut in impatiently, immediately receiving a sour look of Dazai’s in response.

His eyes went hollow, and his smile turned into an overblown pout. “Hey, don’t just do this out of pity…” 

Chuuya crossed his arms on his chest and leaned against the doorway. “That’s not an answer, Dazai.”

Dazai theatrically gestured with his hands. “Well, I had a whole speech planned out and you–”

“Yes or no, Osamu?”

“...yes. Please.”

…and Chuuya had to use his best ability to hold back a choked intake of a breath he took after hearing Dazai’s voice, so raw and broken under the cheery facade.

A minute of hesitation after, Chuuya said, his tone a little unsure, “Hey, Osamu… Would you like to talk about it?”

Dazai stretched his lips in a fake smile, and asked, “About what, the Yule Ball?”

Chuuya’s eyes took on a more serious edge, lips curling down slightly. “About your father.”

Dazai’s smile melted away, replaced by melancholy. “I’m not sure I want to.”

Chuuya took a small breath and swallowed, “...’kay.”

Dazai gave him a small nod in acknowledgement.

And yet, a beat of silence later,

“But still gotta ask though… Are you– No, um, is there anything you’d like right now?”

Dazai chuckled darkly, his eyes taking a rare moment off of Chuuya to stare into the void instead.

“Like, huh? I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it. I guess some sleep would be nice. I’m tired of thinking. I’m tired of having to see Elise’s sobbing face in my memories. I’m tired of Yumeno’s annoying ‘oh, when is father gonna come back?’s. – And Merlin am I glad they will be spending the Christmas break at our auntie’s, you have no idea!” A nod of Chuuya’s head. “...I guess I’m also tired of Odasaku – how does he even get the time to with all his new responsibilities as the temporary head of the family? – always trying to sit me down and talk to me like some sort of psychotherapist, taking my brain apart bit by bit. I know he’s not mourning much since him and father were never really close, but… Y’know. He almost makes me feel like…”

“Like you aren’t mourning hard enough?” Chuuya suggested, a dark hunch that he hit the nail on the head settling in.

“Yes, that. But, um…”

“Don’t worry.” Chuuya shook his head. “We ain’t gonna dig your head for how that makes you feel.”

“Thank you”. Almost breathless.

Silence.

“So, Osamu… Since you’d like some sleep and quiet… We could, y’know… Just this once… Cudd–”

“Yes. Please.”

A hum of acknowledgement.

And perhaps one last day of peace between the cuddling Chuuya and Osamu.

Osamu, who just lost his father, Ogai Mori, to a Death Eater he battled with, and Chuuya, who was Osamu’s only solace at that moment.

***

“What is that halfwit Dazai even thinking, going on dates with the Nakahara monster?! He murdered and jailed so many of our own, the pure-blooded Wizards, even his own damn parents, and Dazai just turns a blind eye to it?!”

“Maybe he's just suicidal and creepy shit turns him on? I bet he jerks off to the photos of what that monster did to the dark wizards?”

“Oh yeah, cut-up chewed out bloody corpses, how fascinating! Ugh, I want to barf”

“I would never buy the media calling him our saviour. My father ended up in jail because of that fucker! He didn't even do anything that bad to end up in Azkaban for 12 years”

“Your father was in luck, you know! My bestie’s mother is one of the chewed out corpses!”

“Merlin, I wanna punch that Dazai brat into the face! He's pathetic, chasing after that lunatic like a puppy! Even that monster rejects him, and he still goes on dates with him!”

“I know, okay?! And to think that that cold-blooded killer is enjoying his best life, going to Hogsmith and being fed candies! Ew no, I don't even want to look at the candies in Hogsmith now…”

“I heard they also were caught flying on a broom together! Fucking annoying”

“With how things are, I won't even be surprised if they announce an engagement next…”

“Oh Merlin no! The Dazais would forever be disgraced because of that abominable Osamu if that were to happen, it would be a huge shame of all the pure-bloods!”

“For real! The great Dazais, engaged to a clan of a killer!”

“And don't forget Nakahara’s sister! The bitch got her magic taken away for 5 years, and still became the head of the clan until that goddamn monster replaces her?! Double disgrace.”

“I know, right! It's a shame Sasaki didn't succeed at killing him off…”

“Oh you don't say! The poor thing is too scared to even step anywhere close to Nakahara these days! I bet it's all Dazai's doing, that crazy watchdog!”

“Or maybe Nakahara got back at her after his magic was returned!”

“Yeah, probably both!”

***

Something Dazai didn't imagine he would have to say on the night of the Yule Ball, the special joyous occasion he was anticipating so much, is…

“Chuuya, are you okay?”

“Mhm”

“You sure?”

“Mhm”

“You have something stuck in your teeth”

“Mhm”

“CHUUYA!”

“Oh, um, yeah, sorry, wasn't paying attention. What were you saying again?”

“Are you okay? You seem off today, you even stepped on my toes three times in a single dance.”

“I guess I suck at dancing.”

“You were always a very skilled dancer, stop lying.”

“Must be your shitty height then.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“Alright then.”

“...”.

“Hey, looks like this dance is over.”

“Yeah.”

“Chuuya, my face is here.”

“Oh, right, sorry, sorry.”

A moment of hesitation. “...want to go out to the garden? You could use some fresh air, don't you think?”

A little hum. “...sure, let's go.”

And that's how from the litten-up spacious hall of the Yule Ball, Chuuya and Dazai traveled to the remote Hogwarts’s garden lit only by the moonlight.

“Hey, Chuuya…” Dazai murmured, sitting on the bench, leaning slightly on Chuuya's shoulder.

“Hm?” questioned Chuuya, eyes distantly staring off into the emptiness.

“I… I've been wanting to try something. Will you help me?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, sure, what do you need me to do?”

“Close your eyes.”

“Oh. Um, okay. Is it some sorta magic spell?”

A little hum. “Something similar, yes.”

Chuuya obediently closed his eyes, and Dazai smiled.

He then leaned over, and in a heartbeat pressed his lips against Chuuya’s, his hand traveling Chuuya’s cheek, Gryffindor’s exploding heartbeat thundering under his fingers. It was the moment he has been dreaming about for years, kissing Chuuya’s lips under the shine of the moon, music echoing in the distance.

And it was also the moment his dream fell apart.

Because the next second, Chuuya thrust his hands against Dazai's chest and pushed him away furiously, eyes wide open now.

“GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T KISS ME! DON'T! I—”

“I…”

Chuuya jumped up to his feet, and instantly put a distance between him and Dazai.

“No.”

“But I love you.” Simply and sincerely uttered confession. One Dazai didn't dare say out loud for five years.

Chuuya’s face changed, morphing into the expression of disgust that would haunt Dazai's nightmares for years to come.

“And I don't.”

And a heartbeat later, “I hate you.”

And then more furiously, as if Chuuya's anger gradually kicked in more and more, “You vex me. Never speak to me again. I don't want to see you ever again.” And just maybe, perhaps that was why Chuuya didn't look him in the eyes saying this. …He wasn't even worthy of Chuuya's mesmerising graphite eyes gracing his figure, that's how much Chuuya hated him.

If the death of Dazai's father didn't shatter his world, this might as well have just been the final nail to his coffin.

Dazai stood there, frozen and speechless, while Chuuya didn't hesitate a second to summon his broom. It responded to its owner's call and rapidly arrived, Chuuya boarding it way too fast for Dazai's brain to process. By the time Dazai finally crossed the distance between them and caught up to Chuuya, he was already too late. He grabbed Chuuya’s shiny silver sleeve, but couldn't hold onto it and in the next second, Chuuya took off into the night sky, the growing distance between them making Dazai's heart ache so much he felt like it was rupturing.

…There goes the moment he wanted so desperately to be the best moment of his life.

***

The Christmas break was soon over. Long gone were the warm lights of the Yule Ball, the notes of the slow music, and the steps across the dancefloor. The reality was no longer avoidable in the sweet ilusion of mirth, and the ugly darkness of the terror caused by the forces of the Dark Lord finally came to light.

Hogwarts’s students were terrified. The entire magical society was in an uproar. The Dark Lord had just been reborn, and yet has been leaving a bloodbath after a bloodbath across the country ever since, the ranks of Death Eaters ever-so-growing, their fearsome force making life seem like hell.

Hearing chocked cries of “I can’t believe I won’t ever see her again…” and “No… He couldn’t have lost his leg… NO!” was now a regular occurrence in Hogwarts. Some students were losing their minds, some were losing their sleep, and some were losing their loved ones.

With how utterly terrible the Dark Lord and his cohorts have been to the muggle-born wizards, it was nothing surprising. It was all a natural thing.

However, while the entire magical world was losing it over the Dark Wizard and the looming threat, Dazai Osamu felt stupider than ever in his life.

Because all he has been losing sleep over is Nakahara Chuuya.

Nakahara Chuuya, who has been the sole owner of his heart, and a mystery so confusing he couldn’t figure out a single thing for the life of him.

All Dazai could think of lately is… Why?

Why didn’t Chuuya even look at him back then? Not just that final time, but the whole night? Why did Chuuya seem so off? Why did he act so nice to him if he later confessed to hating Dazai so much? Why did he seem genuine if he was just pretending?

Dazai felt like an absolute lunatic, and it was all Chuuya’s fault.

He felt like a lunatic, coming to every single Quidditch game Gryffindor had, watching Chuuya take his crown as the newly-appointed team captain, and spitefully supporting the opposing team just to get under Chuuya’s skin. He hated how Chuuya wouldn’t even acknowledge his efforts, and yet he would still come, his heart treacherously flipping in a distant echo of admiration. How he couldn’t bring himself to skip a single game.

He felt like a lunatic, throwing insults and spiteful spats at Chuuya each time they met, and yet always looking at him, eyes unable to lift off of his lithe figure. He hated even more how Chuuya would throw insults back without looking at Dazai once.

He felt like a lunatic, still being so worried for Chuuya despite what the gut had told him that night. It felt humiliating, truly! Chuuya told Dazai to never speak to him again, and Dazai still lost his shit the second he saw Chuuya come out of the train after Christmas, rushing to his side without as much as a thought. Because once again, Chuuya was one huge walking injury. And no matter how much Dazai ached to hate his guts, he could not. And so, under the shitty cheap pretence of bullying Chuuya, he took his wand away. Dazai felt ridiculous at the moment, but at least relieved. And while the relief didn’t last long, he maddeningly didn’t feel any regret over doing this despite the overwhelming embarrassment or being forced by the head teacher to give it back in a matter of hours. Because as much as it was humiliating, it was calming. Truthfully, having Chuuya safe from inflicting even more harm upon himself by recklessly using his magic would never be something Dazai could possibly regret.

What Dazai did, however, regret, was his lack of answers. It felt like a curse, making him run in a wheel of overthinking and cringe and overthinking again for nights on end like a brainless hamster. He felt exhausted. Done. Fucked over.

But still could not stop himself from thinking. And thinking. And thinking. And so, he was back to square one, yet again.

Why did Chuuya suggest to be his date if he hated him? Why has Chuuya never once used a single harmful spell on him if he hated him so much? Why did it all seem so wrong? Why aren’t things making sense to him? Why? Why…?

***

All of Dazai’s confusion came to a head the day the O.W.L.s wrapped up, near the very end of their fifth year in Hogwarts.

Coincidentally, it also happened to be the day Head Teacher Fukuzawa would forever remember as the biggest headache of his life even in the days of his retirement.

“What are you doing, you annoying bastard?!” Chuuya yelled out, looking around incredulously. All he could see though was smoke. Its thick gray veil surrounded Chuuya and Dazai from each side, a barrier so unusual Chuuya never once saw anything like it in any spellbook before, making it much harder for him to lift it away as well.

“Dueling you, I guess. If that’s what it takes to talk to you, naturally.” Dazai shrugged, a determined look in his eyes making Chuuya shiver.

“Bold words, loser.” Chuuya pulled out his wand, yet before he could cast a single spell, he felt the smoky wall suddenly cloud his lungs, making it hard to breathe. Chuuya couldn’t resist going into a coughing fit, and, of course, Dazai took good advantage of that.

In a single flick of his wrist, Chuuya could no longer move, his body frozen in one position.

“So then, would you talk to me now, hm?” Dazai towered over him like a stormy cloud, and cocked his eyebrow. “I’m waiting, Chuuya. I wanna know the truth.”

A cough. “No way in–”.

And then, unexpectedly. “I would.”

Dazai grinned, satisfied. “Oh look, the serum of truth I added to your drink earlier has finally kicked in. Good.” He nodded in satisfaction, and continued, ignoring Chuuya’s wide-eyed shock. “Now fess up. I want to know the truth.”

“The truth, you say?” Chuuya questioned, now scowling as his eyes still refusing to meet Dazai’s.

“Yes, Chuuya.” Dazai stepped closer, his fingertips brushing the underside of Chuuya’s chin softly. “Tell me the truth. Why did you reject me?”

Chuuya simply scoffed. “The truth? Is that what you want?”

Dazai nodded firmly, the tips of his fingers now on Chuuya’s cheek. “It’s what I’ve always wanted.” At his words, Chuuya’s jaw went tense.

Caught off guard by that notion, thinking about what exactly did that entail, he made a fatal mistake of failing to notice that Chuuya has managed to loosen his spell up and move his hand just a bit. However, that was more than enough wiggle room for Chuuya to cast a spell that sent Dazai’s carefully constructed plan off the rails.

“Taciturnitas!”

A spell of mutism. Chuuya effectively took away his own ability to speak by cursing himself to silence. That spell was a tricky one, much to Dazai’s dismay. It took quite a bit of time to lift it off, almost like healing a wounded body with magic. It was the time Dazai didn’t posess, as the professors would shatter the smoke barrier any time now, and yet the only thing left for Dazai was to try to lift it off anyway.

…to his chagrin, he didn’t succeed.

And what came as a bigger surprise, not a single wizard with years of magical expertise and top-notch skills at everything spell-related could lift the curse off of Chuuya either.

That day, Dazai didn’t get any answers, but gained one more thing to lose sleep over.

***

“Chuuya!~” Sing-songed a familiar voice, and Chuuya sighed heavily. Time to say goodbye to his peaceful day. Here comes trouble again. “It's tiiiiiime!♪”

“First of all,” Chuuya huffed, “did anyone ever tell you you are tone dead?!!”

“Don't you mean deaf?” Dazai chuckled, placing his elbow on the table Chuuya was sitting at playfully.

“No.” Chuuya protested without hesitation, voice devoit of any softness.

Dazai pouted and commented in an exaggerated voice. “Rude.”

Chuuya grinned, canines slightly showing. “Thank you.” And a short while later, “Oh yeah, second of all, since when do you even know Mariah Carey? I thought you didn't care for muggle’s music, Your Pureblood Majesty.”

“Well,” Dazai grinned widely, abandoning his dramatic act in a second, “I thought it would be a pretty educating experience to try to expand my views a little. Consider it my New Year's resolution: to be an even better, smarter, and irresistible man!” He pronounced proudly and looked at Chuuya.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, relaxing into the chair. “Sounds horrible. I'd choose a new one if I were you.”

Dazai looked at him pointedly. “Oh yeah?”

And to Chuuya’s chagrin, Dazai’s lips then stretched into a smug cat-like grin. Oh his poor damn heart. “Like what, Chuuya? Should my New Year's resolution be spending it all with you instead? Would you like that better?”

“....!” Chuuya tried to shoot back a response, but his tongue felt tied, and he was unfortunately self-aware enough to know it looked pretty pathetic. He was probably blushing right now, too. He really needs to get a grip, he can’t let such greedy thoughts cloud his mind.

After a minute of hesitation, he finally managed a response, eyes starting off at the wall behind Dazai as he whispered. “I hope your New Year's resolution would be to finally stop bothering me and focus all that energy on something better.”

However, Chuuya’s expectations for Dazai’s response differed from reality. Instead of arguing like he usually would, Dazai hummed in agreement, stretching his feet lazily. “Yeah, you are right. I think it's time I stop wasting my time on bothering you.”

Chuuya blinked. And then again. And again. His body instantly hunched over the table, as Chuuya questioned him, surprised. “Wait, just like that?!”

Dazai pretended to think for a bit, his fingers on his chin. “Well, there's one small favour I would ask of you in exchange.” he then announced, with his characteristic flair for theatrics.

Unusually enough, Chuuya didn't take any time to think of a response.

“Sure, anything.”

“Promise?”

And maybe the alarms should have gone off, but with all the tests he has been preparing for in the last few weeks of the semester, his brain has gone just a little mush, and all that’s been leading him is the desire to get the situation he was currently stuck in over with. “Yeah.”

“Great! It's a promise then!” Dazai smiled happily, his eyes shining like two finely polished obsydians, and that's when Chuuya finally caught on. This doesn't look good.

“Wait, actually—!”

“Too late! I used magic to seal the promise, so now you will lose your magic for a whole year if you don't uphold it!” Dazai announced victoriously, and Chuuya felt like he was being read his executioner’s sentence. This guy…

“But— My Quidditch games! And my final exams!” Chuuya opened his mouth like a fish, and mentally hit himself on the head for being such a naive fool. 

“Yes, Chuuya, they will be screwed . Unless you keep your promise like a good boy, of course~” Oh this devil of a man. Chuuya wanted to slash him with a sword. Just a little. Nothing fatal.

But instead, Chuuya simply swallowed his growing mental breakdown, and spat. “Fine, what do you want?!”

“No need to be so harsh, Chuuya, tsk tsk tsk.” Dazai scolded, twirling his finger in the air. “Nothing big at all, I assure you~”

Chuuya glanced at him, unimpressed, and buried his head in his hands. “Spill it, you freak.”

Dazai hummed triumphantly. “Come to my family's Christmas party. It will happen the day before Christmas, it won't interfere with your—”

“Absolutely not.” Chuuya cut off, voice muffled, eyes staring down instead of stubbornly looking at Dazai’s own.

“You can't refuse, Chuuya!” Dazai pouted, his foot tapping on the floor now, “Why the hell not?”

“Just no.”

“Chuuya!”

“...”

“It will be fun, I promise!”

“Uh-huh, I'm certain it will.”

“The kids won't be at the party, so no annoying noise either!”

“Huh, why?” Chuuya asked, thrown off for once. Unknowingly, Dazai did strike the right cord. Chuuya absolutely dreaded the thought of meeting Dazai’s little siblings.

“Our cousin dearest, Ryuunosuke, got himself a boyfriend! They decided to ditch me and Oda to go bother the guy instead!” Dazai provided, gesturing actively with his hand in the meantime.

Chuuya hummed in thought, the notion ringing a bell for some reason. “Wait, Atsushi from the 5th year, right? The Gryffindor boy?”

“Yup”, Dazai nodded enthusiastically, confirming Chuuya’s suspisions.

Chuuya then absent-mindedly nodded, before suddenly jerking his head up straight again, a sudden important question having popped up in his mind.

“Wait a second, this doesn't make sense! Why didn't you go to the Akutagawa’s too then, hm? You wouldn't have missed such a field day! Atsushi is the perfect type for teasing, what's the catch?” Chuuya eyed him up suspiciously, scrutinizingly him for some sort of hint to solve the mystery.

“Well, you see…” Dazai drawled. “I did initially consider that, but Odasaku, my dearest brother, would have ended up spending Christmas all alone if I did! Sure, he's throwing the party the day before, but on Christmas day itself he doesn't have anyone by his side! His stupid boyfriend is too busy with the paperwork in the Ministry of Magic!” Dazai huffed in irritation and pouted. Chuuya once again felt the need to scream, because why the hell did he find this adorable?! Focus, Chuuya, focus! Dazai. Leave you alone. Pronto. Uh-huh.

Chuuya then took a little while to ponder on whether Dazai’s explanation made sense, and eventually grumbled out “...kay, I guess that does sound believable.”

Dazai lit up, eyes shining up again. “Then will you be attending?”

Chuuya shook his head. “Still don't want to.”

Dazai pouted again, and at this rate Chuuya began to wonder how long will it take before his cheeks begin hurting. “But Chuuya, it would be so boring without you!!! I promise you don't have to stay too long!”

He looked at Chuuya with cat-like begging eyes, and Chuuya, after a tough mental fight successfully lost to Dazai’s irresistible charm and an even more irresistible damnation of a spell, finally mumbled out, “...will you stop bothering me if I do go?”

“Of course!!!”

“Then…” Chuuya muttered, looking slightly away, “I guess I will come. But I could leave when I want to, okay?!”

“Sure!”

“And just to be clear, it's because I don't want to screw up a whole year of my life without magic, okay?!”

Dazai cheerily hummed, nodding his head assuringly.

“...are you sure you will stop bothering me once I do come?” Chuuya decided to ask again, still not feeling quite certain. 

“Of course!!! As you said, it's time I stop bothering you! So next year, I will just focus on putting my effort into making you happy~” He announced proudly, winking at Chuuya, and Chuuya's brain short-circuited.

“WAIT, THAT'S NOT—”

Dazai grinned like a little gremlin, straightening up back into the standing position.

“Nuh uh! Too late! I will pick you up on Tuesday at 3pm, be ready!!” And, of course, he disappeared before Chuuya could punch him into his annoying beautiful gremlin face.

Just what did he get himself into?!

***

“Engaged to Fyodor, are you, Chuuya?” Dazai’s sword furiously sprung forward, steel clashing with Chuuya's own blade as his opponent blocked the attack.

Chuuya’s response was a counter-attack aimed at Dazai’s elbow, swift and silent, just like its fighter. His technique has gotten even better during summer break, Dazai had to give him that.

“I know you can't speak but can’t you at least nod? Or are you too embarrassed to do even that? If I were you, I would be” He taunted, poison lacing his every word as he easily saw right through Chuuya's attack.

Chuuya’s response, once again, was only an attack. A lightning-fast attack that would have left a slash on Dazai's cheek had he not ducked just a short moment before. However, in that single second of hesitation Dazai did, he had dully noted that even while aiming at his face, Chuuya did not spare a single eye-to-eye contact his way.

Dazai then looked at him with eyes more menacing and furious than a raging sea storm. “So it is true.” And bitterly, “A shame, I was hoping that even you didn't fall that low.”

He swung his sword in multiple rapid moves, aiming first at Chuuya’s forearm, next at his wrist, then going lower, towards his abdomen, and finally pretending to go for his leg, managing to catch Chuuya off-guard with his fourth attack as he instead changed his course mid-attack and cut just under his ribs.

Dazai’s cold, rough voice then rang through the air, none of its usual laid-back easy-going tone remaining. “Who the hell even are you? You aren't the Chuuya I knew.”

A swift lounge towards Chuuya's leg, blocked effortlessly by the prodigy of Gryffindor, who recovered from his hick-up earlier in a blink of an eye.

“Chuuya I knew would have never gotten engaged to Fyodor.”

Their swords clashed again, metal clinking sharply throughout the room. Then, Chuuya aimed his sword Dazai’s shoulder. However, he missed, and the blade went slightly above it instead.

“That Chuuya would have never in a million lifetimes forsaken his friends for a stuck-up racist jerk.”

Chuuya tried to then use the opening Dazai had near his back, his blade viciously piercing the air, but Dazai's sword didn’t allow him such a luxury, and Dazai next confidently aimed for Chuuya’s neck, barely stopping before he could leave a faint cut with the tip of his blade.

“Chuuya I knew would have never lost his mind enough to abandon his pride for a chance to get closer to the family of the Dark Lord.”

Another exchange of blows, and this time Chuuya managed to leave a cut on his arm. He swung his blade again, and this time he was close to leaving a long narrow cut at Dazai’s neck.

“What, did Shibusawa strangling you fuck your brain up so much you suddenly are dying to marry his descendant, hm? Are you trying to lick his ass enough for him to keep you alive?” Dazai spat angrily, his face scowling in contempt.

Dazai’s anger was reaching the boiling point, and Chuuya swiftly used this opportunity, his own anger also coming to its peak.

In a matter of seconds, he managed to throw Dazai off his balance and cause Dazai fall onto his back, Chuuya's knee wasting no time to firmly press the Slytherin just under his ribs, effectively pinning him to the ground. 

For the first time in a long while, Chuuya stared straight into Dazai’s eyes. And Dazai was truly a madman, because the next second Dazai felt the boiling sea of anger inside of him come to a halt for a moment.

Man, he really was pathetic.

Chuuya just thrust a sword into the ground millimeters away from his ear, his mouth morphing in anger, and all Dazai could think about is the beautiful angry furrow of Chuuya's brows!

“I hope you are proud of yourself, Chuuya. I never imagined you to be this pathetic.” Dazai then barked out in response to Chuuya's silent angry scowl, but something didn’t feel right.

Because one thing he couldn’t get his mind off of were Chuuya’s eyes. Eyes that looked like they were screaming misery, and its shades of grey were stained by sadness. Merlin, Dazai was going insane, wasn’t he? He was seeing things that simply didn’t exist, wasn’t he? And yet he couldn’t unsee this, no matter how illogical it seemed.

Dazai was convinced that some day those damn yes will surely make him go insane.

…And, as Chuuya slapped him agrily across the cheek, the “I’m glad being silent made you return unscathed this time around”, dancing on the tip of Dazai’s tongue, went unsaid.

***

For pretty much the entirety of his sixth year in Hogwarts, two things Dazai couldn't survive without became his ungodly dosage of morning coffee and a trusty bottle of sleeping drought that always accompanied his books on the bedside table.

As painful as it was to admit for Dazai’s quite strong sense of pride, his sleeping problems only  worsened further with the announced engagement between Chuuya and Fyodor, a story marketed as “an old rivalry that bloomed into romance as the two bonded over the summer” by the scandal sheets his fellow Slytherins would ever-so-helpfully read way too loud and way too often for his liking.

Those same damn articles would also ever-so-helpfully feature all the details on just how “in love” the two of them acted when seen in public: spotted on an event at Fyodor’s family mansion, at Chuuya’s house during Fyodor’s midnight visit, on a date at Hogsmith. Any day Dazai overheard a bit from such a story automatically turned into a bad week, thus it was especially useful during moments like these to use the silencing spells, the wizards that have created them being thanked profusely by Dazai for inventing them for a brief second, until he revoked the statement just the next moment.

Because a big part of his current predicament was also Chuuya’s inability to speak, indirectly caused by Dazai himself. Aside from the immense amount of overthinking and the utter mental breakdown he often faced in his bed at night, cursing the way his brain chemistry worked for the millionth time as the amount of distress in him was exceeding the melatonin in his blood by a mile, too busy analyzing every event that led to this point and why does he still not believe the reality of it all if the things do seem so freaking believable, and why the heck do Chuuya's eyes make him hallucinate something that makes no damn sense to possibly entertain the idea of sleeping, he also was doing a remarkably shitty job at pretending he didn’t feel guilty whatsoever for Chuuya's inability to speak.

Because as the memories of catching brief sights of Chuuya in the halls of Hogwarts, during the rare moment they saw each other amidst Chuuya's active avoidance of him (which for Dazai was even worse than when they used to throw insults at each other back during their fifth year, because at least then Chuuya cared enough to even muster up a response instead of being so utterly in love with Fyodor that he didn’t care to even acknowledge Dazai’s existence, as if he was just thin air), looking all sad after failing yet again at casting even a single non-verbal spell that Professor Frankenstein tried so hard to teach him, without Fyodor by his side to assure him it's going to be okay and that they will find a way to make Chuuya be able to fly a broom or cast a spell again, flooded his mind, his only escape from his guilt was denial. 

But even that was going poorly for him, because although Chuuya hated Dazai, not wanting anything to do with him, and Dazai should have hated him the same way, Dazai still couldn't stop wishing it was him cheering Chuuya up at those moments, reminding him he could get out of his slump with his declining Potions grades and that he will eventually learn to control the process without magically making the fire stronger, Dazai being there for him despite his mistakes up to that point, bearing the weight of the responsibility like he wanted to.

He also wished he could still hear Chuuya's rough cocky voice, playful but arrogant, yet so caring and gentle, and that he could talk to him. Could get a single explanation out of him, an answer to the doubt clouding his mind. Merlin, even just a simple insult would have been nice!

And, of course, he wished for the old Chuuya back, so desperately. The Chuuya he knew like the back of his hand, the one who didn't make Dazai’s mind make up crazy theories to justify his transformation into a scumbag with grotesque theories like that one time when Shirase was complaining he witnessed Chuuya and Fyodor kiss in the hallway (luckily, Dazai never caught them do something like that, or else he would have gotten expelled for beating Fyodor up to death; he was already on thin ice and forbidden from ever doing anything that could possibly initiate a fight with him ever since that one occurrence during the 3rd year), and while Shirase was using every curse word under the sun to describe Chuuya’s new self, Dazai already made up a theory about Fyodor feeding Chuuya amortentia for some sick, twisted plan of his, and just as quickly disposed of that theory, since there was no way in hell that the spiteful bitch that was Fyodor would not use a single chance to go and rub it in Dazai's face when he’s got such a great card on his hands. No way. Instead, he unfortunately seemed truly and madly in love with Chuuya, and it was driving Dazai mad.

So mad in fact, that one time when Dazai was reading a book, getting too distracted from learning more about all the variety of mutism-healing spells by the haunting mental image of Chuuya spoon-feeding Fyodor with such a sweet smile on his face earlier at lunch, he screamed out loud, and Kunikida from Ravenclaw spent a good hour with him at the doctor’s office, making sure he hasn't gone insane.

He didn't, the doctor concluded.

I soon will tho, Dazai added mentally.

And on some days, Dazai really wondered just how much more insane he needed to get to finally be put into a psych ward? He felt as if his brain was maniac, too stuck in the past to accept reality and venturing down the path of delusion to compensate for it.

He wanted to hate Chuuya. He truly did. For showing he hated Dazai when Dazai was at his weakest and most vulnerable state, for getting together with Dazai's age-old enemy, for changing from the person who embodied Dazai's faith in humanity into the sort of a person who Dazai hated most.

But no matter how crazy it was, part of Dazai still believed that the Chuuya he fell in love with was not gone forever. That he was still there, and that the look in his eyes was not just a sick product of Dazai's twisted imagination. That one day, that old Chuuya would be back, safe and sound in his arms as they finally smile at each other again. And that one day, he will wake up to find out that the last few months were just a nightmare of his.

But as it stood, it was just blatantly crazy. He knew it. He really did. And yet… The hope wouldn't die.

Watching Chuuya hug Fyodor and heave a heavy sigh after a yet-another failure at his Potions class, he wondered if Chuuya ever wished Dazai was the one hugging him instead.

He remembered how he and Chuuya cuddled right after his father died, and how genuine and sincere Chuuya seemed. And although Dazai could not be certain, his heart believed wholly that it was not just a game of pretend. After all, it was the moment that gave Dazai the final push of confidence to confess to Chuuya, how could it possibly be a lie?

And albeit the confession itself didn't go well for him, he couldn't just delete the memory from his mind. Couldn't just write it off as some masterful deceit. It was the last vivid memory he had where Chuuya seemed like the boy he fell in love with. Raw, honest, and with a heart of gold.

And Dazai was desperate to find out if that boy was still in there or not. He had no proof, not a single evidence except for the look in his eyes that he could have easily just imagined to himself. But he had to find out.

And while drinking a yet-another cup of his morning coffee, eye bags under his unfocused black eyes, he thought to himself, putting aside a yet another useless book on reversing a hex, “I wonder how he would react if I got engaged too…”. And a few seconds after writing the idea off as a stupid fluke of his sleepy mind, he suddenly got up from his seat as if he had an epiphany. He rushed back into his room in search of a sheet of paper and a quill, a cup of lungo on the counter of the Slytherin's common room long since forgotten.

***

THE WINTER BALL OF PURE-BLOODS RUINED: SHOCKING DETAILS

Dear readers, I must admit that this author has never been quite as shocked by an event then right now! I, Margaret Mitchell, am extremely dissatisfied to report that an event of utmost importance, The Winter Ball, where all the pure-blood families come together, became a terribly tragic occasion this year instead of a celebration of joy and prosperity.

The reason for that is that at eleven in the evening, right before the final part of the celebration was about to start, where all the most important announcements were set to be made public, one of the heirs of the pure-blood families, Fyodor Dostoyevsky had been assasinated.

According to the inside sources that shared this information with me, he was murdered by a wizard that is assumed to be the host of the ball, sir Bram Stoker. It appears that Sir Stoker used one of the forbidden spells, Avada Kedavra, on the 18-year-old Fyodor Dostoyevsky as he was accompanied by his fiance, the mute heir of the Nakahara family, Chuuya Nakahara.

What occured next had turned the entire event into an uproar, as Chuuya Nakahara, struck by grief, had murdered Bram Stoker with one of his hung-up on a wall swords, as the late Bram Stoker loved collecting them. It was then that this conflict turned even more severe, as, now officially confirmed, the deceased Fyodor Dostoyevsky was one of the key figures in the army of the Dark Lord Shibusawa, as well as his descendant. This breaking information, previously rumored by many but not having a confirmation, explains why in the next second, the entire ball was swarmed with Death Eaters, as well as the Dark Lord himself.

Most of the pure-blood wizards have managed to successfully escape, but sadly, some of them have died at the hands of the Death Eaters.

Furtermore, the Nakahara family, including their two children, Kouyou and Chuuya, have revealed themselves as a loyal to the Dark Lord family, all of them having Death Eater’s tatoo’s on their arms, as well as taking part in the killing.

Others families revealed to have joined the ranks of the Dark Lord’s soldiers are the Motojiro family and the Ichiyo family.

Those traitors have all then left together with the Dark Lord, and they haven’t been spotted in territory, controlled by the Ministry of Magic, or in Hogwarts where some of them have been studying, ever since.

They are to be arrested on the spot if captured, and to be punished according to the law.

See also:

• Engagement of the Prodigy from the Dazai house, Osamu, and the only daughter of the Nobuko family, Sasaki, officially announced

***

The entire night at Dazai’s manor felt like the sweetest nightmare Chuuya even had.

It all began with Dazai, all charming smiles and light-hearted compliments that Chuuya tried his best to dismiss. He came to pick Chuuya up on his broom and whisk him away into the night sky, the light of the stars and the moon itself making the Slytherin look even more aethereal in his perfectly-fitting cream suit and silky black shirt than usual. Looking at Dazai’s moonlit smile as he put his hair behind his ear only made Chuuya’s heart bleed as he got onto the broom and half-heartedly circled his arms around Dazai’s waist to secure himself from falling off; it reminded him of another night when they attended a ball together, where under the same moonlight Dazai had once kissed his lips.

And unfortunately for Chuuya, the rest of the night didn’t feel any better. Because, as much as Dazai clearly tried to help Chuuya enjoy his time there, his actions were having the opposite effect. By never leaving Chuuya’s side once, always talking to him and to him only, and joking just the way Chuuya had always found absolutely irresistable, Dazai only made Chuuya’s heart bleed even more, with the intensity that seemed like it was enough to kill Chuuya from heartache. Chuuya shouldn’t have any right to enjoy Dazai’s company the way he was doing, suppressing smiles at Dazai’s sarcastic remarks and gentle looks of his tender black eyes. He clearly didn’t have such a right, and he knew it well.

He felt entirely too selfish, even daring to accept a glass of his favourite wine from Dazai, who had ever-so thoughtfully got it just for him and handed it over to Chuuya with those shiny happy eyes of his, and downing it all probably a bit too fast, gulping the red liquid down without stopping to savour the taste once like he usually would. His wine-drinking was, however, by no means a lonely occasion, as he was acommpanied by the heavy judgemental stares of the crowd of spectators that were glued to him ever since he stepped his foot into the manor earlier that night. Those suffocating, venomous glares that people were sending his way, had Chuuya feeling as if all they wanted was for him to choke on that wine, the drink infiltrating his lungs and inflammating them from the inside in the most slow and torturous death. Chuuya didn’t blame them for that. He also felt like it was pretty deserved for him to choke on the wine for his audacity to even step foot in this place in the first place.

However, much to their mutual chagrin, Chuuya ended up finishing the glass without choking a single bit. Chuuya felt as if the Christmas spirit was just being kind that day, and didn’t wish to sadden Dazai with his untimely death, and although Chuuya didn’t quite like thinking that Dazai would still be upset if he died despite his best efforts to push the guy away, he couldn’t deny that he also hated to see Dazai’s beautiful face ruined by tears. After all, his nightmares would still often feature a vivid recollection of Dazai’s desperate sobs that one time Chuuya nearly died after the Triwizard tournament, the horrific shakes of his body etched into Chuuya’s deepest, darkest memories. 

Chuuya always tried to not get caught up at those, sheltering himself from the heart-wrenching pain that always made him want to rip his heart out of his chest, but he was probably doing a pretty flimsy job at it that night, because the next moment he found himself standing there, melting under the overwhelming warmth of Dazai’s cold slender fingers squeezing his shoulder reassuringly, as if he sensed Chuuya’s worry. Chuuya mentally cursed, now feeling even guiltier for how goddamn right Dazai’s touch felt when it shouldn’t have.

Dazai then smiled at him, those shiny jewel eyes sparkling under the warm lights of the ballroom’s chandelier, and playfully informed Chuuya that it was now finally time for the slow dance. Chuuya’s heart skipped a beat, watching Dazai pause for a second in a rare moment of indecision before asking Chuuya to a dance, voice as mirthful as it usually was, but this time even more soft and patient, almost as if trying to communicate that Dazai was willing to not pressure Chuuya into anything, giving him space to make a decision on his own and willing to accept any answer Chuuya would have to offer. That, of course, made Chuuya’s heart bleed for the millionth time that night. How could that guy be so kind to him after everything they’ve been through, Chuuya wondered.

And for a second, Chuuya wanted to accept his offer without hesitation. He really couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do more, in fact, than dance the night and the worries away to the slow music of the orchestra, Dazai’s hands on his shoulders and waist, their faces closer than ever as they didn’t let go of each other the entire night, Dazai’s obsydian sly eyes on Chuuya only.

But, of course, that simply wasn’t a possibility. Aside from having no right to possibly entertain such a foolish idea, Chuuya was also not blind to reality. The reality that was the stares that didn’t leave Chuuya for a single second, malicious enough to express the desire to claw Chuuya’s eyes out and feed his body to Cerberus if only given a chance. And while Chuuya had always been a brave wizard with plenty of courage and magical prowess, and as such didn’t have any fear for those glares, the same couldn’t be said about Dazai. Just imagining that such hateful dreadful looks would follow Dazai anywhere he went for a simple fact of his association with Chuuya, made the Gryffindor’s head spin with fear, heart pounding so fast, it felt like it was one beat away from exploding and coloring the entire ballroom red. Dazai was a promising magician with an excellent reputation and a well-respected family, and Chuuya didn’t want to ruin his entire image, becoming an unstoppable ink stain on the pristine canvas that was Dazai.

…and, as such, Chuuya of course ended up simply shaking his head in refusal, eyes looking away for a brief second.

Dazai’s eyes instantly lost some of their shine, and he looked like he wanted to say something then, opening his mouth to take a deep breath, but a mere moment before he could get the chance to begin, an owl unexpectedly landed on his shoulder. It was Andre, the messenger of his older brother, Odasaku.

Dazai reluctantly paused to open the message that was fixed to the owl’s leg, unrolling the little piece of paper to read it, and a moment later, he was already hurriedly apologizing to Chuuya, explaining he needed to leave him alone for just a little while to “go deal with his crazy cookoo First Wizarding War’s veteran uncle, Colonel, who invited himself to the party and needed to be politely escorted out of the premises asap”. Chuuya simply nodded, and sat down on a bench in the corner of the ballroom, watching as Dazai rushed off to another part of the mansion, his back moving along with each impatient swing of his arms.

And as Dazai’s figure disappeared from the view, for the first time that night, Chuuya was left alone with his own thought and feelings. Thoughts and feelings he didn’t feel even an ounce strong enough to face, and thoughts and feelings he could regrettably no longer drown out in Dazai’s calming warm presence.

In the end, it was always moments like these when the true feelings could no longer be contained, no matter how desperately you wanted to pretend they didn’t exist, and unfortunately for Chuuya, that’s when one of the ugliest feelings within him, one he had been trying to ignore and suppress this whole time, reared its monstrous head like a beast, breathing its scorching flames of fear and guilt directly upon Chuuya. However, this feeling wasn’t of the stares that followed him everywhere, or the unworthiness he felt any time Dazai showed him kindness and care.

Instead, it was the feeling of the manor itself abhorring Chuuya with intensity, and that alone was somehow scarier than all the stares sent his way that night combined, breaking his once valient shield with ease.

Without Dazai around, Chuuya could no longer pretend like he didn’t feel as if the spacious rooms of the house were suffocating him, and that its big wooden walls felt pressuring, almost like they’d soon begin moving just to crush Chuuya to death. The creak of the floors, the squealing of the doors, the bustling of the wind outside the windows – all those were forming a symphony of sounds, singing “get out” to Chuuya alone in a voice so horrific it could easily be something out of a nightmare, low yet screechy, and positively threatening.

And at that moment, Chuuya couldn’t help but feel like he hated the universe for making his life so unfair. He wished his circumstances were different, and he didn’t have to live a miserable life of guilt, shame, and fear. He wished he could have made different choices in life, ones that would have allowed him to enjoy a life of happiness and joy like other students were doing. He wished he could have dated the person he loved like Shirase and Yuan did. He wished he could have stepped a foot outside his dorm without feeling the hateful gazes he always received as the “monster, who ripped the Dark Lord himself into smytherins.” He wished his entire being didn’t twist with terrible guilt and fear any time Dazai was closer than a mile away from him.

…He just wished his happiness wasn’t so fucking doomed to never exist.

And just like a pale shadow of a ghost, Chuuya sat there at the bench, hunched over so that his elbows were pressed against his knees, the smooth fabric of his sleeves gliding across the rougher surface of his pants, his forehead trapped in his palms, the ginger curls covering his rough fingers – Chuuya’s personal pride, as it was a result of countless hours of Quidditch training. He wished he was invisible, the weight of the stares feeling like a tiresome burden of countless assaults on his neck, but even sitting at the distant corner didn’t make the attention shift away from Chuuya in the slightest. Instead, just like blood-thirsty sharks did when they caught a whiff of a wounded bleeding prey, the pure-blood wizards finally grew bold enough to let their mouths run as wild as they wished, their vicious predatory desires unchained at once as Dazai, one of the hosts of the event, was finally out of sight. Chuuya didn’t expect anything less, of course – he was used to this sort of thing for a long time already.

And it even wasn’t like they had anything new to say that Chuuya didn’t hear about himself around a thousand times already. To the wizarding community, and, especially so, to the pure-bloods, Chuuya was a monster, a treacherous hoe, a psychopath, a cold-blooded killer, a heartless bastard, a criminal to be chained up and executed as fast as possible before he summoned Arahabaki again, a liar, a glorified loser, and a dumb little brat. And not that Chuuya was keeping count, but the glorified loser was the rarest of the bunch, according to his observations. Pretty funny, he had initially expected it to be the third-most popular option after a cold-blooded killer and a criminal to be executed asap.

But alas, he had also initially hoped Dazai would hate him just like all those wizards who only saw him as a bloody murderer that posed a threat to the whole wizarding world. He was, obviously, wrong – Dazai, from the looks of it, didn’t believe any of the nasty rumours about Chuuya for a single second. Chuuya didn’t know how and why, and even more frankly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. In the end, he felt like an answer to that question would only make him love Dazai even more than he did already, and it was already a huge obstacle for Chuuya as is, when all he had been trying to do this whole time is make Dazai give up on him and move on with his damn life already.

And now, he somehow allowed that goddamn lovable jerk to get him to come–

“And I can not believe that Dazai Osamu, such a talented young gentleman, chooses to associate himself with that thing ! Does he not care for his reputation at all? He is bringing shame to his entire family for allowing this acursed bastard to step anywhere near this place!” spat one of the voices that was busy cursing the ground Chuuya walked upon just a second ago, an old matriarch of one of the pure-blood houses, and Chuuya felt his blood go cold. Oh no.

“Oh, most certainly, that is a terrible hit to his prestige! I am convinced that no noble lady shall want to get engaged with him after such a scandalous thing! I was inclined to believe that his engagement being called off is not a defining fault for the young blood, but this? Oh this is an outrage, undoubtedly so! I have even once heard that he and that monster are very strangely close! That is unacceptable!” agreed another voice, this time belonging to a posh middle-aged wife of another clan’s patriarch. No no no no .

“I am so glad I am engaged to another gentleman! I would have died from shame if my husband-to-be had been joint at the hip with such a psychopath ! I don’t know why the Dazai heir even keeps that guy around, but I am disgusted by such audacity!” nodded along a younger woman, who Chuuya had recognized as a lady that got engaged just two years ago. Fuck. Shit. Damnit. Merlin’s old saggy balls!

“That Nobuko girl should be glad Dazai isn’t her fiance anymore, or that would have been one more fatal shame on the list of that bitch!” A deeper bass rang out, as it was a burly gentleman who spoke. The room laughed at his words, their venomous laughter ricocheting off the shiny walls and marble statues in the room into Chuuya’s ears.

And that, Chuuya realized as his panic had finally settled in, paralysis over at once, was his que to go. Very fast. Very far away from here. And most importantly, from Dazai.

Chuuya desperately needed to get out, before, just like he feared, his terrible reputation would rub onto Dazai’s own even more. It was already an absolutely shitty sign that people were willing to drag Dazai’s name through the mud for just being at Chuuya’s side for a little while tonight. If this continues any further, by the end of the night his reputation would be a wasteland of unrepairable ruin, just like Chuuya’s own.

Chuuya didn’t have any right to be here in the first place, for Merlin’s sake, and he most certainly never had any right to possibly do anything that could damage Dazai’s reputation.

Thus, the only courtesy Chuuya could do for Dazai now is get the fuck out. And never interract with him ever again, hopefully, because just who the fuck even knows how long it will take before the entire high society catches onto the absolutely devastating information that Dazai is in love with Chuuya! That would make Dazai a public enemy #2 right after Chuuya himself, and Chuuya could never possibly wish such a miserable fate upon Dazai of all people!

Chuuya was thankful for all the years of physical training he had gone through for Quidditch and sword fighting, as it proved to give him a pleasant advantage in this situation: speed. Having gotten up from his seat hurriedly, he reached the exit of the ballroom in a flash and left it without glancing back, rushing down along the narrow, half-litten by a few candles here and there corridor of the terrifying mansion, hoping to reach the marble-white front doors as quickly as he possibly could. The escape was just at the end of that long passage, awaiting him and telling him to pick up his pace already, and Chuuya had wanted nothing more than to teleport there right away himself, but he didn’t want to somehow attract even more attention to himself by using magic here, and he couldn’t even run here either, the fabric of his pants way too tight to allow him to actually speed up comfortably. Oh, how he regretted bailing on that lecture from professor Louisa where she was supposed to explain how to manipulate fabric with magic! His young and stupid fourth-year self had decided that taking care of the ill feverish Dazai was somehow more important than his studies, because of course that huge manchild was all stubborn and refused to go see a doctor, making it everyone’s problem, and now Chuuya was reevaluating his desicion to go sit with Dazai for all that time just to bring him some fruits, hot tea, and chocolate. He wished he had just sold him out to the medical wing, but no, instead he caught a cold too and spent the next fucking week bed-ridden himself!

He took another quick wide step, huffing out air in both rush and agitation, but it was then that he sensed something wrap around his wrist, pulling him back with a force that instantly put Chuuya on high alert. He whipped around to see who it was, and assess the danger he was possibly facing as quickly as possible, ready to protect himself from whatever attacker had stopped him with all the combat skills he had as his prized assets, but the person he ended up seeing before himself was no attacker at all.

Instead, it was Dazai, who was entirely out-of-breath, cheeks pink as he apparently had chased after Chuuya all the way from the ballroom, probably worried after having realized he left, judging by his expression full of confusion, frowning, and a tiny bit of sulkiness, his obsydian black eyes speaking volumes even when Dazai wasn’t using any words to express his feelings.

“Chuuya,” and there was that tender caring voice, laced with worry, that Chuuya hated because of how much he loved it. “What happened?”

Chuuya grumbled out, “Nothing. I just wanted to leave ‘cus I got tired of the party, ‘kay?”

Of course, Dazai was not convinced a single bit, and looked at him sternly. “Don’t lie to me. You were just fine a few minutes ago. Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened.” Chuuya cut off, shaking his head stubbornly. “Just wanna leave already.”

Dazai didn’t let go of his hand, however. “I don’t believe you. Chuuya, tell me what’s wrong.” Chuuya had to admit that for a second, his fist was itching to meet Dazai’s equally-as-stubborn face, annoyed with his persistence.

“I told you, it’s nothing!” Chuuya hissed, irritated, and then demanded, “Just let go of me already, you bastard!”

Chuuya tried to free his hand, but Dazai still was holding onto his wrist firmly, his cold fingers feeling scorching warm on Chuuya’s skin, a comfort Chuuya didn’t want.

And after a moment of silent tugging that didn’t result in Chuuya’s victory, Dazai spoke again. This time, in a hushed, almost broken whisper of a voice, one that Chuuya’s heart never took well, “...what did they call you this time?”. Chuuya hated how Dazai sounded like that because of him. That was why Chuuya shouldn’t have come.

“Nothing new.” Chuuya shot back immediately, and the next second he wanted to strangle himself. He didn’t mean to say that. He wanted to say nothing .

Dazai, being a very observant guy, of course, didn’t miss that, his eyes squinting with anger that wasn’t directed at Chuuya. His voice became louder, turning growlier, with notes of fury. “So they did insult you, didn’t they?” he questioned, staring dead at Chuuya’s eyes with a determination to get Chuuya to admit to everything.

Chuuya, naturally, looked away like he always did. He was not giving up on his strategy. “No.”

“Chuuya.”

“They didn’t.”

“ Chuuya. ”

“...okay, fine.” Chuuya finally gave in, begrudginly admitting what Dazai suspected already, and rolled his eyes in annoyance. “They did. A bit. But it’s nothing, I’m used to–”

“I’m going to go give them a piece of my mind.” Dazai cut him off, tone dark and uncharacterly malevolent, as if his usual brightly-colored spectrum of a voice became a pitch-black pool of darkness. “No fucking body insults my dearest guest at my own damn party.”

That was very bad.

This time, it was Chuuya who had clung onto Dazai desperately, the palm of his other hand on the Slytherin’s shoulder, putting its utmost effort into keeping him standing in place. Chuuya uttered in a rush, his heart beating wild, “Don’t. Dazai, it’s really no issue, I was going to leave anyway.”

Dazai didn’t look impressed, as he bit back, “You were just fine a few minutes ago.”

“I was just pretending to enjoy the party out of politeness!” Chuuya shot back a stupid half-baked excuse, and Dazai scoffed, immediately catching onto the absurdity of what Chuuya just said.

His lips twisted in a dark grin as he taunted, “Oh yeah? You don’t care about politeness when you tell me you hate me, Chuuya. Stop lying already.” And sometimes, Chuuya simply hated just how clever Dazai was.

“I… I was not being polite to you, I was being polite to Odasaku!” Chuuya continued to push this excuse, stubborn as ever.

Dazai’s eyes only flashed with irritation in response. “If you are so worried about Oda’s feelings, then I urge you to at least go and bid your goodbyes to him before you leave. Go on, Chuuya, will you?” And judging by his eyes flashing dangerously at that moment, he knew damn well that it was nothing more than a yet another lie Chuuya told him tonight.

“Didn’t you say I would be able to leave any time?!” Chuuya complained, his exasperation building up with each passing second. This conversation was driving him insane.

Dazai simply nodded darkly. “I did. But not like this. I meant you could leave when you no longer enjoyed my company, not when someone insulted you and you just decided to run away!”

Chuuya had to suppress an exhausted sigh at that. “I told you it’s fine!” He stubbornly bit back, continuing to repeat the same thing again and again, much to Dazai’s headache.

“No.” Dazai’s hold on Chuuya’s wrist became even firmer, fingers wrapping around it tighter, likely hard enough to make Chuuya’s pulse ring through them like a vibration, and the pressure of Dazai’s palm on his hand caused Chuuya to shiver. “You aren’t. You are not fine. And we need to fix this.”

Chuuya’s blood ran cold, his heart treacherously beating even harder, as he admonished the Slytherin. “No! Dazai, don’t do anything!”

Of course, Dazai didn’t listen at all, already reaching for his wand instead despite Chuuya’s one free hand trying so hard to stop him before he could do it with all its horrified might.

Everything was derailing, and Chuuya was reaching his wits’ end, trying to stop Dazai before it was too late.

He practically screamed out, eyes wide in horror as his voice shook, weak and vulnerable, “Osamu, please ! I’m begging you, do not do this!”

Of course, the next thing Chuuya knew, his world was spinning, head all dizzy and giddy. He felt the bile rise up his throat, as he recognized this feeling. It was a teleportation spell. And that meant…

That Dazai successfully transported them both back into the ballroom, and that Chuuya’s pleas fell onto deaf ears. Dazai was deadset on going through with his plan.

The second Chuuya felt the steady ground of the marble floor support his shaky legs again, he instantly tensed up in horror as Dazai’s voice rang loudly throughout the ballroom, gathering the attention of the guests. The two of them were standing on the finely-carved staircase at the center of the room, its beating, breathing heart, Chuuya realized, and it was a perfect choice for Dazai to attract as much attention to his words as possible. As Dazai’s call made the guests’ heads turn, unsatisfied whispers in the air, Chuuya felt the staircase disapprovingly rumble under his feet, vibrating a sighing scold of “what have you have done?”, and his head felt as if it hadn’t stopped spinning even after the spell had already been cast.

Dazai, of course, was the exact opposite: he stood there proud and tall in his perfect cream suit, his back straightened out in unwavering determination as his lips were stretched out in a fake polite smile, one that carried a false sense of security, hiding Dazai’s true boiling rage. Chuuya, who was now actively pulling at Dazai’s arm like a madman after having snapped out of his initial shock, in his last dying hope to stop that fool before the inevitable downfall of his reputation, was a meek shadow of his usually-bold, undeterred self, his entire form breathing anxiety and fear. 

And of course, neither Chuuya’s words nor physical attempts to stop him have suceeded in bothering Dazai at all. He cleared his throat and began talking, his voice sweet as honey, but dangerous like a venus flytrap, and Chuuya’s heart almost stopped right then and there, “Dear guests! As your host, I would like to give you a fair warning. As you know, I’m quite a master of curses, and it shall be known that I would not hesitate to place the most horrendous curses on those of you who dare to insult–”

And the next moment, the entire room has filled up with sighs of horror, judgemental screams, and utter outrage, as Dazai Osamu, the young and brilliant wizard who was co-hosting this party and who was just in the middle of making an important announcement only a whink ago, was now standing in place, frozen unmovingly like a statue.

Of course, the one who had caused this unspeakable outrage was none other than the public enemy #1 himself, the monstrous psychopath who had murdered the Dark Lord effortlessly just some months ago, Nakahara Chuuya. The dangerous brat who stood there, at the staircase, by Dazai’s side, with his long white wand pointed right at the poor gentleman, whose face now looked almost comical, his mouth frozen open in place.

The pure-blood nobles, who were observing the scene with horror, instantly took note of Nakahara’s disrespectful eyes and the distasteful grimased curl of his lips, all directed at the poor host. ‘How dare he’s and ‘What an outrage’s have flooded the ears of everyone present, but the bastard’s voice then pierced through the sea of disbelief like a thunderbolt during a storm.

“I was getting sick of his stupid pranks,” he spat out with an angry scowl, mouth scruncing up in annoyance. The lunatic then turned around to face the disbelieving crowd, now with an expression of a wild, almost beast-like smirk on his cocky face as their stares pierced through his skin like a thousand needles, adding in a predatorily happy voice, “If he was gonna just waste our time with some idiotic jokes, it’s only right I shut him the fuck up.”

Another wave of loud sounds of shock, horror, and disapproval has passed through the crowd, yet the Nakahara bastard only gave them a conceited unimpressed twitch of his eyebrows, rolling his eyes lazily.

“Merlin, you all are so damn boring. Relax your asses already, I am leaving anyway. I am sick of this stupid goddamn party, such a waste of my time.” He complained as he waved his hand dissmissingly, and then threw a venomous glare towards the still-frozen heir of the Dazais, “Hopefully I never get invited again.” 

And just like that, the next second, he was already gone. 

Another moment in time later, the poor host was now back to normal.

***

“Dear Diary, I’m afraid life had indeed gotten even crazier, as if it wasn’t shitty already… Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! I am absolutely flabbergasted, astonished and staggered by how cruel the destiny has been to me, I assure you.

This week, as if Sasaki’s annoying personality and the regrettable lack of ability to shut the fuck up hadn’t been enough (I did, however, begin my research on engagement termination, so there’s that, yuppie!!! >:3), something even worse happened. A shoker, I know.

Yuan disappeared during one of the missions. She’s been a pretty useful tracking wizard, so I’m not surprised she’d been recruited on those so many times, but it is rather upsetting she’s disappeared. Hopefully she isn’t dead. At least she was always way more tolerable than Shirase.

Oh and by the way, diary dearest, the most wonderful sheet of paper to ever grace this universe, I was nearly in a dire need of suing that fool for my medical expenses today! He almost damaged my eardrums by wailing in my room this morning!!! Can you believe it? >_< Honestly, I’m not sure how Yuan even bears with that loser as her boyfriend, I would have killed myself even I only had to kiss him once and gotten a million galleons as a reward.

Anyway, to calm his ass down, because I’m obviously the kindest human being to ever grace this pathetic little planet, duh (and because his screams were freaking tearing my eardrums apart and I was afraid they would start bleeding), we are going to search for her. The search party would be pretty much me, Shirase, Kunikida, and Tachihara. I get Kunikida honestly, he’s been always a huge mother hen, but Tachihara? That was a surprise. He said he was doing that because he and Yuan always bonded over their mutual love for Lady Gaga, that muggle singer.

Can’t say I judge. Her music do be fire ^_^. Chuuya always used to scream her lyrics from the top of his lungs.

Oh, and speaking of the devil…

Shirase’s been going on and on about how it’s all Chuuya’s fault all morning, so annoying. I mean, I do get his point, and it’s regrettable it’s something like this we somewhat agree on, but still.

It’s not only damaging to my ears (I told Shirase to stop bitching by the way, felt super satisfying), but also just… irks me.

I guess it’s probably just me missing the old Chuuya, and I know it’s stupid, but I feel like he never would have wanted Yuan to… you know, die? Or well. The old him.

The new one clearly fucks with the Death Eaters now so… I guess he might have. But I don’t know. A part of me hopes he would have been upset or worried. It would be nice if at least part of Chuuya remained human.

But, I mean… He was locking tongues with Fyodor just a month ago (ew just writing that made me retch), and now he’s a loyal puppy of the Dark Lord (and again). It’s sickening how he’s always at his side, watching those bloodbaths and not even minding it, just chilling in safety like a coward?! That’s ABSOLUTELY not the Chuuya I loved, that much is for certain.

Seems like whenever Shirase talks of him, I just begin feeling so bad because… I keep wondering what made him change so much, do at least you understand me, my diary?

I wonder, was it fear that led him to join Shibusawa? Did he promise to not kill him if Chuuya joined him? Or maybe his parents pushed him into this? I heard his father is a freaking lapdog of that monster, and a freaking menace in battle too, so I wouldn’t be very surprised. I do, however, not understand how the fuck can you practically such the dick of the dude who was a second away from killing your son, makes me wanna punch the guy really really bad.

And also, Chuuya was always so prideful, where did HIS pride go, joining the Dark Lord? He is either the biggest coward scoundrel in the world, or went freaking crazy and somehow did a complete 180 on his views. In whichever case, I despise what he had become. (Can he respectfully hit his head on some rock and become his old self again?)

It was bad enough when I thought he just got engaged to a Death Eater, but to think he is one too? Since when? Was he a Death Eater when he rejected me? Was that why he acted so weird all of a sudden and hated me? God, that would be really embarrassing if I kissed a Death Eater right after another one of them killed my dad. (I miss dad.)

I wonder if Chuuya is even safe there himself. Who knows, maybe that crazy bastard Shibusawa is mistreating him and threatening his family? Nah, who am I kidding, of course he is safe. It’s a shame things turned out like this. Also, what a disappointment, I didn’t even get to see him get jealous over my engagement to Sasaki. (As if he’d care lol)

…Maybe he really is kept there against his own will? Dear diary, please tell me he is”

***

“And I can't believe I used to be friends with that jerk!” Shirase complained loudly, kicking a pebble under his feet with force, the pebble hitting the tree trunk nearby and richocheting back onto the path.

However, the three gentlemen, accompanying him on the search they’ve been conducting here, didn’t look pleased with his comment at all.

“Yeah, yeah, Shirase, we get it! You hate the guy, you really do. But you've been going on about the same damn thing for three hours now, even poor forest animals are probably bleeding out of their ears already!” Tachihara exasperatedly responded with a heavy sigh and a brewing headache, feet tired from walking so much. Kunikida and Dazai didn't hesitate to express their support with a nod, equally as tired, and no less exhausted from listening to Shirase’s same broken record.

“Shirase,” Kunikida called out, hard squuezing the guy’s shoulder reassuringly, “...Let’s just focus on what we came here for. Yuan.”

Shirase rubbed his head and said with a sad nod, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You guys are right, Yuan is the priority.”

Unfortunately for his companions, however, their ears were not at all salvaged as they were hoping they’d be, as the silver-haired Slytherin continued after a moment of silence, the sound of his voice making his companions hold back a load of verbal insult and a tick of their eyes, “It's just that, guys, my blood boils whenever I remember how I gave that jerk a Valentine card during our fourth year and he—”

A piece of a broken branch made a loud cracking sound as it broke under Dazai’s feet. A squirrel that was jumping between the naked branches of trees closeby, startled by the sudden loud sound, hid. And, as an even louder shriek hit her ears, it was likely a wise idea.

“You what?!” Dazai looked at Shirase bewildered, maniac even. However, Shirase was lucky enough to be born an oblivious fool, and thus he didn’t recognize the true reason behind Dazai’s response. Instead, he simply sighed heavily and added in a dejected voice, “I know, right! So embarrassing! To think he all but pretty much laughed at my face too!” The guy balled his hands into fists at anger, and raised on of them up in a manner that was supposed to look threatening, but only looked foolishly childish outside of Shirase’s mind. “I should have known he was a bastard!”

Dazai then took a sharp intake of a breath and fell silent, as if pondering something. He then rubbed his temples before asking his fellow housemate, “And where the heck was I when that ha—”

However, he couldn't finish his sentence, as the sound of desperate, terrified screams filled the air. The ground then shook, and the screams were then joined by thunderous rumbles of spells cutting through the air. It was coming from the town next to the forest.

“Must be the work of the Death Eaters.” Kunikida concluded with a pensative look on his face, reaching for his wand immediately. He then ordered, voice collected and steady, “Tachihara, come with me, let’s help as many innocent people as we can. Shirase, Dazai, stay here and prioritize not getting yourselves killed. Only continue the search if you are certain you won’t be at any danger, we will join you once we finish.”

To that, Dazai simply nodded, but the same couldn’t be said about Shirase, who looked at Kunikida with a dumb-founded expression, voice a mix of confusion and irritation as he asked, “Wait, why can’t I go?!”

Kunikida didn’t even get a chance to respond though, as Dazai scoffed and rolled his eyes, explaining it first. “Because you are a muggle-born, and will immediately get yourself killed there, genius! Besides, your magic is useless in this situation, so it’s best you stay back and I make sure you aren’t killed!”

Shirase only acknowledged his response with a hum of agreement, embarrassed, “Oh, yeah… Alright then.” And thus, everything was settled.

Kunikida used a teleportation spell, bringing Tachihara with him to the town, while Dazai and Shirase remained in the forest, the dusky sky now deep blue, the first stars of the night sky showing themselves. And both boys had to admit, being alone in a forest with Death Eaters as their enemies in their close vicinity, and a dark night settling in, was making their circumstances way, way eerier than before.

“So, um… Do we continue to search for Yuan or…?” Shirase asked, looking at Dazai expectedly as if Dazai was his nanny in kindergarten. It was moments like this when Dazai remembered how he never liked just how indecisive the guy was when push came to shove. In Dazai’s humble opinion (as he shared with his diary repeatedly), Shirase needed to grow a pair asap.

Dazai grumbled out a response, heaving a sigh. “We do, just give me a second to make sure–”

A whoosh of air.

“–that there aren’t any Death Eaters on our trail…” he finished in a hushed whisper, eyes glued to the figures of the wizards who have caused the air to move so swiftly.

More specifically, a group of three Death Eaters on their brooms. And not just any regular Death Eaters either.

“Is that… Chuuya’s family?” Shirase asked in a shocked voice, eyes wide open as he stared in disbelief.

Dazai darkly confirmed. “Yes. That is Kouyou and his parents.”

Shirase sucked in a breath. “So, are they–?”

“Bad news.” Dazai confirmed, his voice humourless for once, with a scary undertone Shirase didn’t hear often. “Very very bad news.”

Shirase twitched and hugged himself on the shoulders for some comfort. “Oh da–”

And then, everything went dark. The blue sky of the late evening, the first stars, the trees, the puddles of melted snow under their feet – everything became one huge pitch black darkness.

A mere second later, something fell to the ground. A loud yet muffled sound rang through the air, and the sensation of panic only worsened. The sound was suspiciously similar to that of a struck down human body.

“Shirase!” Dazai screamed out, breath instantely speeding up as his heart began beating like crazy, “Are you there?!” Simultaneously, he reached for his wand, hidden at the back of his shirt, under his Slytherin robe, to bring the light back with his magic.

Shirase hurriedly responded, voice just as shook as Dazai’s, “Yeah, I’m–”. And then, silence.

“SHIRASE?!” Dazai panicked as Shirase stopped mid-sentence. No response. “SHIRASE!”

Still nothing.

Dazai, heart now beating so crazy that his head was pulsing, firmly grabbed his wand that was finally back in his hands, and uttered under his breath, voice shaking, “Lumos”.

However, what he saw next, he could not have predicted or foreseen.

Because Shirase was nowhere to be seen, gone in a blink of an eye.

And because the source of the loud sound before ended up being… A corpse. And one Dazai personally knew very well, no less.

It was Nikolai Gogol, once loyal liege of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, then a fearsome and highly-ranked Death Eater, and now… A lifeless body on the dirty ground of the forest.

Just what in the world even happened?!

And most importantly… where in the world was Shirase?!

***

“Dear Odasaku,

It is yet again I, your most charming and adorable witty little brother, Osamu. Missed me?

Probably not, considering it’s my… Fourth? Oh, fifth, actually, letter to you since I returned to Hogwarts. I can’t believe it’s been an entire month already! (Probably because those annoying arrogant bitches pure-blood nobles from the ball are still so mad at me kicking them out that they think they are allowed ostracize our entire family on social events, as if it hasn’t been like literal weeks already-_-. Like, I don’t really care what they think of me or anything, but involving Elise and Yumeno? Disappointed, but not surprised. Tho to be fair, they didn’t seem to care when I talked to them on the fire last night, so don’t worry, they just laughed and said it’s hilarious how those stuck-ups think they can last much longer without our family’s money. I’m so proud).

Ehem, anyway, that’s not why I’m writing this letter, so I shall not dwell on that any longer. I actually was going to talk about Chuuya, you see (yes, again). This week, my predicament has not improved in the slightest , you see . I have been as unsuccessful at catching him off-guard even for a second as all the four weeks before this one. Actually, this week it only got worse! (As if being unable to talk to him even for a second cus that sneaky little shit fella has been putting in all his effort into avoiding me and even dared to switch me for other partners on the rare occasions we do share a class (the audacity!!!) wasn’t already entirely too horrible-_-)

So get this, Odasaku: now he even threatened his friends that he will hex them with eternal diarrhea if they so much as dare to help my cause even a tiny bit! (No but actually, I’d not mind Shirase having eternal diarrhea XD) But still, I can’t believe this guy!!! (Oh yeah, and the spells are still not working, of course. I’d expect no less from a wizard of Chuuya’s caliber but you know, doesn’t exactly help with my problem).

I am losing my mind with this guy, seriously 0_0 Oda, what do I even do at this point?! I mean, I did guess he’d be mad after the entire ball accident, but still, I didn’t expect it to be that bad. I was hoping to ease his fury a bit with the gift I sent to his manor on Christmas (does he even have any idea how much time I spent picking out those glorious hand protectors?! That guy should take better care of his hands by the way, they are so rough!), but no, he sent my owl back with the gift without so much as letting my poor little Wraith in! Tsk tsk tsk, this man has no heart for someone who is set to become the head of his entire house in just a few months! He could really benefit from having more mercy on others (and should start with no longer avoiding me, of course).

And yes, getting back to the issue, none of the things I try here at Hogwarts work either! What do you think I should do? I’m kind of losing my patience, you see! But I can’t even tell the damn bastard that I am mad at how he’s avoiding me BESAUSE HE IS AVOIDING ME!!! Life is so unfair!

Can he just stop driving me insane, please? I mean, I do know why he’s like that, but still, can’t he just get a clue already and snap out of his self-sacrificial bullshit? I swear, I love the guy, but even I can’t take much more of this!

Anyway, that’s pretty much it for now. My only hope for the next week is catching him on Valentine’s Day, but I’m not exactly sure that will work out either considering the guy might just have developed an invisibility spell already with how elusive he is being!

I will update you on my state of affairs next week as per usual, dear brother, and I do expect a list of things I could try to catch him in your next letter, you understand me?

Best wishes,

your miserable little brother Osamu”

***

Dazai’s life ever since the day Shirase disappeared was a torturous ordeal of confinement he endured with all his fellow Hogwarts students. It was a life of heart-wrenching uncertainty, obliviousness, worry, and constant anxiety for everyone alike. They weren’t allowed to leave the school premises, or to get any communication with the outside world through letters, to learn the news about what was going on or how people they cared deeply about were doing and if they were even alive. Needless to say, it was especially challenging for someone like Dazai, with his older brother Odasaku fighting on the frontlines of the bloody   war the Dark Lord had started.

Dazai couldn’t even begin to recount all the nights he had to comfort Elise and Yumeno, first and second years in Slytherin now, till they passed out into the sleeping oblivion from all the crying. Dazai wished he could have done the same; salvation of sleep didn’t come to him no matter how long he’d try to stop thinking. He simply couldn’t, his heart ablaze with his mind exploding with all the thoughts going through it.

At moments like this, Dazai wished the war never started, and his life was forever as peaceful and joyous as during the time before the Dark Lord had made his return.

Ultimately, it was months of boring days and weary nights, with his heart being the poor victim suffering the damage of his incontrollably disturbing thoughts, a force unstoppable like a tsunami.

But everything had changed on a warm day in May, the sky no longer misty shade of light smoky gray it was at winter, but rather a dreamy hopeful blue. For the first time in months, Dazai opened his eyes in the morning to… A letter.

A letter that in a way made Dazai Osamu somewhat of a criminal literal hours later, as he stood in the Ministry of Magic’s main building, the wing of its judicial court, its faraway dusty storage room, with old court hearing records inside… and a man, tied up and put to sleep, next to Dazai. The same man whose appearance Dazai currently shared, all thanks to a special potion of Dazai’s making. This man was one of the important figures in the Court of the Wizarding Soceity, (although Dazai couldn’t have helped but wondered if the guy had eaten something bad that morning, because facing such an easy defeat in the face of a teenager who hadn’t even graduated Hogwarts was deeply embarrassing), and the reason he was currently at that position… Was because of the information delivered to Dazai by his brother-in-law to be, Ango Sakaguchi, in that same morning letter.

The contents of the said letter could have been boiled down to three things:

First, Oda was safe and sound.

Second, the war was now over, the Dark Lord had been brought down.

Third, the one to do this was none other than Nakahara Chuuya, the man who was after this brought into this very place for a court hearing. A court hearing that, according to what Dazai had managed to get out of the tied-up man’s mouth himself with the serum of truth he had thoughtfully brought beforehand, was set to start in… Two minutes, according to the fine-crafted watch Dazai had slipped onto his hand to complete the look of the man he was impersonating.

Splendid. It was finally time for answers.

dazai rushed towards the court room. he made it through the intimidating jade doors a minute later. the hearing had already started. dazai was late, yet nobody had commented. it was just silence.

the room felt heavy. thick atmosphere of judgemental terror was making it hard to breathe. dazai felt like his lungs instantly caught fire.

men in strict black robes all gathered round the suspect. they were close, but kept distance. it felt as if they were all too terrified to be close to the suspect. the only exceptions were the judge and his scribe. 

dazai’s heart jumped up at the sight.

beat. beat. beat.

he quickly walked towards the men in robes. dazai’s boots clicked against the eerie-sounding black and white tiles on the floor.

click. click. click. click.

he joined their side, masking seamlessly at the menacing black row. then, his eyes fell onto the suspect.

thud. thud. thud. thud.

the suspect, who dazai hadn’t seen in so long, was currently chained to his seat. his hands and legs were tied behind the wooden bars. his frame looked weak and sickly powerless. his head was powerlessly facing down, like a broken doll. his long untied hair was covered in dark-red streaks of blood. the same stains were on all his clother. even on his once-white shirt. of course, now it was nearly scarlet.

dazai could barely stand. his legs were close to giving out at the sight.

beat. beat. beatbeatbeat. beat.

“suspect nakahara,” the judge’s voice had thundered through the room. “do you swear to tell the court the truth and nothing but the truth?”

the room now felt like attentive predators spectating their prey. dazai felt his throat go dry.

at the judge’s call, chuuya’s body moved slightly. he had lift his head up. however, it was obvious that it wasn’t easy for the boy. the movement looked like tiny tremors. that, and chuuya’s hollow, distant eyes, had shattered something within dazai.

crack!

“yes, your honor. i swear to cooperate fully, as i promised” chuuya had answered.

and dazai didn’t know what surprised him most. the fact that chuuya could talk again.. or his voice. it used to be so brash and lively… but now it was hoarse and weak. it sounded like a horrifying screech. the sound of it had made the tension in the room get worse. dazai felt his head go dizzy with thoughts.

beat. beat. beat.

the judge then had turned to the scribe. he had confirmed, “did nakahara take the truth serum?”.

the answer made dazai’s blood go cold. “twice the amount, sir.”

the heartless approval of the judge had made dazai hate the man. the slight twisted smiles of the men in robes only hurt dazai even more. he couldn’t believe anyone thought it was in any way logical.

chuuya looked like he was barely conscious. he could barely even talk. he shook just from trying to move a muscle. giving him so much serum of truth was inhumane. cruel. violent, even.

dazai’s hands balled up into fists. his nails pressed into his palms vehemently, nearly causing a bleeding.

the anger and the confusion spun his mind in a forceful whirlwind. at the same time countless questions were filling his head, waiting for answers. pound. pound. pound.

“so then, mister nakahara.” the judge proceeded, deep bass rumbling. “will you tell us everything that is important for us to understand your story? we want to hear everything you have to say in your defence.”

dazai believe the words, of course.

chuuya gave a weak response, “yes, your honor. i will”. dazai felt his chest clench at how much effort it took for chuuya to speak. his screeching whispering voice was his fault, too. he was sure of that much.

then, the judge signaled for chuuya to begin. the room instantly got electric at the words.

“it all began when shibusawa got revived. i was a fifth-year in hogwarts then. just won the triwizard tournament that night. then, he appeared and nearly throttled me.” chuuya spoke, voice distant as he talked about the event. it was one of the most traumatic memories of dazai’s entire life. chuuya had sounded like he was just discussing a muggle movie he had once seen. dazai felt a sharp stab of pain. he wondered what had to happen to chuuya to make him so numb and hollow.

thud. thud. thud.

“then,” another emotionless screech followed, “a few days after, it was the yule ball. a few hours before the main event, my family visited me.” dazai blinked in surprise. he didn’t know that. “my father, mother, and my older sister, kouyou. my brother verlaine had no ties to the death eaters. our father cut him off before kouyou and i even joined.” chuuya clarified. his strained voice cut everyone’s ears like a knife across a musical string. “anyway, that day i learnt that my parents have joined the death eaters.”

dazai’s breath went still. his mind was reeling. was this why..?

his heart went mad.

rumble. rumble. rumble.

“mister nakahara”, the judge had stopped him. he questioned, “could you explain as to… why your father had done so? i find it hard to believe he chose to join the man who was close to throttling his own flesh and blood just some days ago.” dazai agreed, although the judge’s sceptisism was irritating. he also didn’t understand why. he was only sure his fifth-year self would have considered eviscerating the poor bastard had he found out back them. now, he was feeling the same desire towards the grimacing crowd of snobs. they had the audacity to feed chuuya the serum of truth in his state, and now they doubted he was being truthful anyway? dazai felt his veins grow hot in his cold hands.

inhale. exhale. inhale. pause. exhale.

in response to the question, chuuya’s face didn’t move. his voice stayed entirely colorless too, “beats fucking me, your honor. he said it was to “keep me safe”. that day he came to convince me to join shibusawa too. was saying “it’s important for me to become shibusawa’s ally so that he doesn’t needa kill me”, that sick bastard.” and if dazai’s head wasn’t spinning at the previous revelation, it was surely spinning now. seems like dazai’s wish had finally come true: he is getting some answers tonight. he just wished chuuya didn’t sound so empty, talking about something so horrific. and that his voice wasn’t so weak and strained, too, dazai’s heart was not calming down.

the room began whispering. the inaudible, yet positively stunned enragement made the room go abuzz. dazai felt like it was becoming even more strangling. he wondered if chuuya felt this even stronger.

“what about your mother and sister, mister nakahara? could you tell us more about them?” the judge had asked then.

chuuya exhaled and continued. his voice was, as per usual, strained and distant. it sounded like something straight-out-of dazai’s nightmares. “my mother is a huge pushover. father convinced her that joining the death eaters and cutting verlaine off was a good idea. i don’t know how. and kouyou… they pressured her into this. she was never a follower of shibusawa and his creeps willingly.” dazai had dully noted that it did match up nicely with what he himself knew about chuuya’s sister.

another wave of whispers rolled around the room. the judge had finally ordered them to shut up. dazai was never happier to hear a loud bang of a gavel in his life. he didn’t even mind the buzzing in his ears.

the judge urged chuuya to continue, “and what did you respond to your father’s demand to join the death eaters, mister nakahara?”

chuuya’s reply didn’t come out. it felt as if he had finally allowed his consciousness to drift away. with the sorry state he was in, dazai thought it was a miracle the guy hadn’t collapsed sooner.

however, as the judge had adressed chuuya again, dazai had realized that chuuya hadn’t passed out. he must have just been affected by the loud banging sound earlier. the notion was horrifying to dazai. chuuya’s state must have been even worse than he thought.

he felt his heart bleed.

thud. thud. thud.

chuuya finally responded, “i promised i’d think about it, and then, when i finished my fifth year, i accepted.” 

the athmosphere instantly turned dark and menacing. the stares turned into deadly daggers. and chuuya didn’t even seem to have noticed.

pound. poundpoundpound. pound.

he continued, the voice still emotionless. eyes were distant. he coughed in pain, tiny tremors returning. “what you must know is… during my fifth year in hogwarts i… hexed myself. i got into a duel and placed a mutism spell on myself. no one could lift it off.” his throat went dry. a few seconds later, he continued. “but i’m talking right now, i know… that’s cus all this time, i only pretended to be mute. i did curse myself for real initially, but what nobody had known is that i actually have learned to cast non-verbal spells during my fifth year. so, i just undid the spell right after the duel.”

cough. cough.

then, “i pretended to be mute ever since. i continued the act to reach my goal.”

dazai’s mind was crashing. all the questions and emotions flooding him were suffocating. everything was mixed in his head. it was hard to distinguish anything. he felt his head get dizzy.

shake. shake. shake.

“what goal?” the judge had asked chuuya. he was clearly stunned. “and how was that even useful to that goal, mister nakahara?”

chuuya took a heavy breath, “my goal was to infiltrate the enemy and eradicate them all from within. and for that, i needed to join them. and, as i despise their fucked up ideals, it was better to be useless than to kill innocent people. if they thought i couldn’t use magic, i wouldn’t have to fight for them. they also thought i was too weak to be a threat. it was a big plan for my plan.”

dazai couldn’t have believed his ears. his heart, however, knew it was the complete truth. dazai didn’t know if he found the realization liberating or suffocating.

the room fell silent. it was as if they didn’t know what to make of the information. the judge only continued. “and what happened next, mister nakahara? after you joined the death eaters?”

chuuya screeched out a response, voice reminding an old wooden threshold. (dazai felt horror in every bone in his body, thinking about how wild it must have felt to have kept quiet all that time), “after that, shibusawa decided to tie his family with mine through… familial ties. my father was one of his best, most loyal soldiers, and the fucker was expressing his gratitude that way. that’s how i got engaged to fyodor dostoyevsky.” dazai felt an unpleasant jab at the memory of those events. he masked a sharp inhale sloppily. “but what nobody knew,” chuuya continued, and then paused. he was silent for a few seconds, as if trying to gather a coherent story within his delirious mind, “is that i used amortentia on him to make him fall for me. i hated his guts my entire life. so for the sake of my plan, the only choice was to feed him a potion and pretend to love him. it was a golden ticket into shibusawa’s closest circle.”

the room fell tense once again. it felt as if even the moral reasoning chuuya had wasn’t enough to stop the judgemental stares.

dazai, however, didn’t even notice this time. his pulse was the only thing he could focus on, thrumming through his ears.

beat. beat. thud. pound. pound. poundpoundpound.

his head was a trainwreck of thoughts yet again. 

“can you elaborate on that, mister nakahara?” the judge requested. chuuya complied. his screech of a voice was making some of the men in black robes flinch.

shudder. shudder. shudder.

“i learned to brew amortentia that summer we got engaged, slipped it into his drink, and then made it look like we both fell madly in love over the summer. we got engaged. everyone bought the story. the only one in doubt was fyodor’s best friend, nikolai gogol.” it was a yet-another familiar name. dazai stopped himself from scowling. “i had a history of being on bad terms with them both, so of course he wasn’t convinced. but even he wasn’t gonna go against dostoyevsky’s happiness so it was all good from there. i just pretended to love him from then on.” chuuya finished in a whisper. it was emotionless just like anything chuuya said before. dazai wondered how it must have felt for chuuya. he imagined that kissing the epitome of what chuuya had despised in people was terrible to say the least.

it certainly felt absolutely horrible for dazai to just listen about those kisses. he was glad he had never seen them with his own eyes.

the judge signaled for chuuya to continue.

chuuya opened his mouth. it took him a few seconds to get the sound to come out. his vocal cords were struggling. “after the engagement, right before returning to hogwarts, shibusawa secretly gave something for my father to guard. i overheared the conversation they had. shibusawa was talking about how he bestowed my father with a fraction of his soul” he abruptly stopped. the action made the man standing next to dazai almost jump up. then, chuuya finally continued. it was as if he stopped to remember something. “a horcrux, he called it. it’s kinda like…” a thoughtful hum, that sounded like a deathly throb, from chuuya, “there’s an object that kept a part of his soul alive as long as it was not destroyed. there was a few of those in different hidden places. he wouldn’t be able to die as long as at least one of those was fine.”

the room was shocked. the revelation was as intriguing as it was horrifying.

dazai’s curiosity as a wizard was also peaked, surely.

the judge asked then, eyes bewildered, “and… what did you do with that information, mister nakahara?”

“i took any chance i could find to research the topic without being found out. being a student on my sixth year in hogwarts and unable to use magic, there wasn’t much i could do but study. i had plenty of opportunities to find some clues about the rest of the horcruxes.”

dazai couldn’t help but proudly note that it was smart. he used to think chuuya was crushed by being unable to use magic, but he was wrong. dazai was even willing to bet that chuuya had failed potions just so that nobody would suspect him of brewing amortentia and using it on fyodor. dazai nearly teared up with pride, thinking about that.

“and what did you manage to find out, mister nakahara?” was what the judge had asked chuuya next. it was the question on everybody’s mind.

chuuya responded in a hoarse quiet voice, “not anything too exact. i found out there was six of them, apart from the one within my family, and their vague locations. that’s it.”

“continue.” the judge had then ordered. the entire room of vultures now wished to know all chuuya’s secrets.

chuuya spoke again. his answer wasn’t too thrilling to the excited spectators. “didn’t really have a chance to do anything with that info for the first semester of my sixth year. i was just pushing the people i cared about away. wasn’t hard when most of them were muggle-borns, and i just got engaged to that racist scum dostoyevsky.” a moment later, he added. “oh, and i was going around, being lovey-dovey with him”, dazai noted sadly that chuuya didn’t show any emotion saying this. dazai, on the other hand, held back an urge to retch. “and i also was pretending mute, failing all my classes. it was kinda useful, as i said already. no one would have suspected i used a potion on dostoyevsky if i couldn’t even make it in class.”

dazai mentally rejoiced at how his guess proved correct. then, he thought back to what chuuya had just said, and began wondering… was he one of the people chuuya pushed away on purpose? thousands of new thoughts and worries filled his head. it felt full of them, too full even. it was nearly pulsing.

pulse. pulse. pulse.

chuuya didn’t stop. in a strained voice, he continued. “was terrible. i was sucking up to fyodor and his stupid ansector, and all those innocent people were fucking dying. i wish i could have helped sooner, but i couldn’t stop shibusawa back then. i…” he sounded like he wanted to show emotion, but it just wasn’t there. dazai suddenly felt an urge to hug him, “i did manage to do one thing to help the innocent folks. at the winter ball of the pure-bloods…” chuuya stopped to swallow, his throat too dry. his words made dazai’s heart beat so fast it began to hurt his ribs. was this going where he thought it was…?

beatbeatbeatbeatbeatbeatbeatbeatbeat

chuuya continued. “back then, i was the one to kill fyodor, not bram stoker.”

the room went entirely silent. the atmosphere was as dark as a cloud right before thunder.

chuuya didn’t acknowledge that. dazai wasn’t even sure if he was in any state to notice. he just continued, elaborating on his story.

“i wasn’t planning to do that on the night of the ball, it was a hasty decision. but i had to. that night, fyodor had told me something,” chuuya muttered, and to anyone else he would have looked insane. but to dazai, he only looked tortured, “he said he wanted to launch a sudden attack on hogwarts. he wanted to kill every single person inside, and shared his plans with me. i killed him, using avada kedavra. to avoid suspision, i pinned the blame onto bram stocker, who had just happened to be passing by.”

the room had frozen over at his words. the judging cold stares pierced chuuya again. the atmosphere was ticking dazai off.

“i didn’t kill him, unlike what you all have probably heard.” chuuya spoke again, “he’s alive and kicking right now. his “corpse” was an illusion. everyone convinced i can’t use witchcraft, they didn’t suspect a thing. i sent the real bram far away, where no one would have found him.” he paused for a second, and dazai noticed how the expressions of everyone present have softened. then, chuuya dropped a bombshell. “with all the information i had found on the horcruxes.”

the bewilderment in the air was tangible, as the judge had clarified, “you have entrusted sir bram stoker with the mission of destroying the horcruxes on your behalf, mister chuuya?”. chuuya hummed. the thought that it must have been too painful for him to nod right now twisted in dazai’s chest like a knife.

“i’ve given him the information, and sent him two helpers later. he also picked some orphan up along the way… aya, i think, and there was overall four of them completing this mission.” he explained tiredly. his eyelids were struggling to stay open. 

dazai yet again turned to facing countless thoughts.

the judge thoughtfully looked at chuuya. then, he asked, “who were those two wizards, mister nakahara?”.

“yuan and shirase.” of course, the room instantly got shook. whispers of ‘two of the disappeared hogwarts students!’ saved chuuya time for explanation. “their magical abilities were a perfect fit for the mission. yuan is good at finding things, and shirase is good at destroying objects. they are safe and sound with bram right now”, chuuya explained. dazai’s heart picked up its pace yet again.

thud. thud. thud.

with the judge’s approval, chuuya continued his story. now, he was finally talking about the events dazai had no idea about, “after i killed dostoyevsky, i focused on two things: i pretended to grieve for him so that everyone would still believe the bullshit story i was selling, and i focused on gaining shibusawa’s full trust. i was just stuck at the mansion, nodding and showing my support to what shibusawa was saying so that the motherfucker wouldn’t grow suspicious of me. i didn’t have much chance to do anything else.” after a little pause, he screeched out a “although sometimes i did get an opportunity to communicate to the outside world. i’d used it to keep in touch with bram’s group. oh, and… there was a few times i managed to sneak away”

the judge cocked his eyebrow. then, asked chuuya for more details. dazai already felt like he had a good clue about some of those, but he was curious to hear more nonetheless.

“the first time was when i had sent yuan to bram. i teleported to her, sent her to where bram was, and returned. she was on a mission when that happened, so other wizards were near. i was careful not to get caught.” chuuya whispered, the strain only getting worse. the scribe wrote his words down, and chuuya continued. “the second time, it was to send shirase to bram. the guy is yuan’s boyfriend, and we all were friends before the whole “dostoyevsky’s fiance” act. he was looking for her with another hogwarts student.” dazai’s heart flipped. chuuya was talking about him . it meant that chuuya did see him that day. and it also likely meant that… “i was hoping to do it quickly, but something went wrong. the plan was to use a darkness spell, teleport shirase away without being seen, and make a run for it. but…” chuuya’s voice trailed off, but dazai already knew first-hand what had happened next. he just wasn’t sure as to why this had happened. “that’s when i noticed nikolai gogol in the forest. he had nothing to do in there for his mission, so i knew why he arrived. i killed him. it was because he was there to kill the other student who was with shirase.” the revelation made dazai’s head spin. ground felt like it was no longer supporting him. “he was convinced that that guy something to do with fyodor’s death.” chuuya finished. the men in the robes felt terrified by how easily he spoke of death. not a single diversion from his even distant tone.

“and who was that student, mister nakahara?”.

chuuya only looked away, in the manner that dazai had always hated,

“i do not think it’s important, your honor. his identity shouldn’t matter for this case, sir.” 

poundpoundpound

dazai wondered as to why chuuya was trying to not reveal his name. another bunch of thoughts seeped into his mind. one of those was wild and daring. …

was he, per chance… trying to protect him from this mess?

“mister nakahara”, the judge had then spoke, insistense in his voice, “i do understand if you might want to keep that information undisclosed, but i must persist that it’s a necessary piece of information that needs to be revealed.”

chuuya gave in with an exhale. “dazai osamu.” the scribe wrote it down.

dazai couldn’t have helped but found it strange to hear his name in chuuya’s voice again after what had felt like an eternity.

“i must ask, mister nakahara, how were you so certain that nikolai gogol had a killing intent, and towards mister dazai no less? and why did you risk killing an important member of the death eaters’ circle for a hogwarts student? were you in any way connected, is that why you didn’t wish to disclose his name?”

“i knew gogol, he’s a psycho. dazai was dostoyevsky’s enemy for ages, i overheard gogol saying dazai was behind dostoyevsky’s death so i figured he’d kill him. i knew gogol was dangerous, so i always wanted to get rid of him anyway. could have figured me out and killed me any second. as for dazai, i used to know him, but he ain’t involved, so why bring him into this?”

the judge said, “and what exactly was your relationship to mister dazai?”. his tone was curious, on the verge of intrusiveness. it mirrored the atmosphere of the room. even dazai’s heart skipped a curious beat.

chuuya cut off, voice emotionless. “nothing really. just knew each other, didn’t even talk much after our fourth year.”

the judge continued stubbornly. “and what happened during your fourth year?”

chuuya declined to respond. “nothing that’s your business. let’s continue”

dazai felt his heart twist with pain. chuuya’s screechy quiet response made his head fill up with thoughts again. the buzz inside his mind was building up. it was an unpleasant feeling.

bzz.bzz.bzz

the judge only accepted. thus, chuuya continued his story. 

“yesterday, it was finally time to act. the last horcrux was at our possession. while other death eaters, shibusawa, and my parents were partying, i spoke to my sister. eventually, i convinced her to betray them. then, she took the horcrux of our family, and destroyed it. meanwhile i chugged down a bottle of liquid luck. i made that one myself, like amortentia. it was useful, ‘cus my plan was hard. i wasn’t sure i’d succeed. after that, she ran away and hid. i summoned my demon, arahabaki, and killed everyone there. or injured badly, at least. shibusawa’s dead for sure.” even talking about this, chuuya didn’t have any feelings in his voice. it scared those present shitless. the atmosphere of the room cooled.

dazai felt chills up his spine, too. it was because his thoughts filled his head up like a dam that would soon burst. 

splash. splash. splash.

now he knew exactly why chuuya was in this state.

“i learnt to summon it this summer. liquid luck helped maintain it for longer.” chuuya’s explanation barely reached dazai’s ears.

the judge blinked, stunned. “for how long have you been maintaining arahabaki summoned, mister nakahara?”

chuuya pondered for a moment. “30 minutes. i guess.”

the chills up dazai’s spine bordered becoming shakes in all of his body.

the room, hostile and speechless, fell into silence. none of them understood how the boy was still conscious. none of them were sure they could even call this dangerous creature “a boy”.

chuuya finished his story with a, “then, the next thing i remember is being here. that’s all.”

the silence was worse than a million screams.

the judge, breathing heavily, didn’t speak.

dazai only hoped that the tale being over meant his heart would finally stop exploding with worry. 

chuuya, unphased and emotionless, spoke. “if that’s all, i’d like to request something.” 

“what is it, mister nakahara?” answered the judge, “would you perhaps like the story you had just told to be used to redeem your public i–”

“no.” chuuya interrupted him. another unpleasant feeling settled in dazai’s body. it felt like a wyvern scratching his lungs. “in fact, fucking don’t. focus on helping victims, not me.”

and then he added something. the sentence crushed the souls of those who heard it. “i don’t care if they all hate me. even if you tell the truth, they gonna hate me.”

then, in a hoarse, weak whisper, chuuya finished. “i will bear that. don’t interfere.”

once again, dazai’s mind was a mayhem. thoughts kept coming in like letters in a filled-up mailbox. his head was ringing.

ring. ring. ring. ring.

with a shake of his bloodied head, chuuya spoke again. his voice was barely audible, and so exhausted. “i was gon’ ask if you could go easy on my sister. i know she fucked up big time, but she chose the right side. she betrayed them.” a heartbeat of silence, and then a broken “she never even wanted to serve them. she did it out of fear.”

the judge was speechless. his eyes looked away, not facing him. the room was as eerily silent as ever.

seeing chuuya like this was making dazai’s heart ache. the terrible pain was like a dagger stab wound.

throbthrobthrobthrobthrobthrob

eventually, the judge spoke again, promising reluctantly. “i can’t promise you a lot, mister nakahara, but we would consider your words, bringing ozaki kouyou to justice.”

chuuya only exhaled in relief, weakly. then, he mouthed a “thank you”. dazai wanted to rip his heart out.

thud. thud. thud. thud.

he didn’t even pay attention to the room. he had a clue he wouldn’t have liked what they had to say anyway.

“anything else, mister nakahara?” the judge said. dazai didn’t know what to make of the man. he wasn’t sure if he was a foe or a friend. he did, however, have a feeling the man was having pity on chuuya. this was already more than the rest of those present offered.

chuuya uttered a “yes”. his voice was getting weaker each second, yet he went on. for the first time in the whole trial, his weak voice was colored with emotion. dazai immediately wished it didn’t, after hearing his next words.

“your honor. please make sure to punish my father with severity.”

the cruel request sent the room into an uproar. the silence was broken with speechless outraged gasps. they all glared at chuuya like he was a monster.

dazai’s head felt like the thoughts would make it burst any second. the noise in his head was making it unbearable.

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

the judge asked with uncertainty, taken by surprise. “why would you wish for your father to be punished with more severity, mister nakahara? i don’t understand. i can certainly see that he is a terrible person, and committed many crimes, but… are you sure you want this? you are still his son, you don’t have to–”

chuuya cut him off, yet again. his screeches now sounded like life-long curses to the men in the robes. “i’m sure, your honor. he deserves it. i don’t care if you fail to catch my runaway mother. all i want is to see him behind bars. bringing him to justice is the least i could do. ”

dazai’s heart was now threatening to kill him. it was beating violently in his chest, bursting it.

poundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpoundpound

“the least you could do for who?” the judge parroted in confusion. his question mirrored what others had been thinking, albeit in a softer manner.

chuuya gulped heavily. his eyes, once hollow and distant, were now determined and willful. he spoke with the last strength in his voice. “for his first victim. ogai mori.”

Suddenly, Dazai’s mind went radio silent.

***

Four in the morning was criminally early for Dazai Osamu, but, admittedly, he was willing to make such a sacrifice when it came to Nakahara Chuuya. Because today, on the morning of the Valentine’s Day, Dazai was getting ready for a hopefully-final showdown with the stubborn little redhead that has been avoiding him for weeks already… as he stood in the brooms room.

Why the brooms room? Well, Dazai also found the solution less than ideal, but he got a hunch that it was the most probable plan for him to succeed. After all, he knew Chuuya for seven long years. It wasn’t hard to guess that in a situation where all he’d receive for Valentine’s Day is either death threats from dumb vicious students or love confessions from the guy he avoided like a disease, Chuuya would choose to flee. And because his trusty broom was the best choice at Chuuya’s disposal, he would come for it while everyone was still sleeping.

Which is exactly why Dazai was standing there, feeling half-dead-inside like some sort of a zombie as he was spectating the unimpressive sight of boring snow piles, depressing frozen tree branches, and lonely gloomy clouds. If Dazai had a choice, he would have preferred to take Chuuya out on a romantic date to a concert that one of his muggle singers was probably giving that day, but alas, he was standing there, thankfully not freezing in the cold wind.

However, the same couldn’t be said about the visitor who had finally entered the room, managing to do it without causing the door to creak.

Chuuya, cheeks pink from the frosty air, hair covered with little snowflakes, didn’t notice Dazai right away while stepping inside. That was very advantageous for the Slytherin. He thankfully managed not to freeze up at the sight of Chuuya, getting stuck in admiring the lithe figure of the boy who seemed like a snow angel, and instead immediately cast a spell, effectively disarming Chuuya, who was taken off-guard. Perfect.

The next thing Chuuya knew, before he could even try to reach for his wand in an attempt to get it back, he was being pressed against the wooden brown wall.

“You–!” he cursed at Dazai, a sharp inhale signalizing his shock, voice scandalized.

Dazai grinned menacingly, drunk on the sweet victory. “Nice seeing you again after all this time, runaway .”

Chuuya scoffed at Dazai as if he was the most annoying being in the whole world, and his teeth clenched with a sound. Dazai wouldn’t know if his eyes flashed with irritation, however, since Chuuya wouldn’t even glare at him.

“Let me go, you bastard.” Tried Chuuya, accompanying his words with physical actions, but, of course, Dazai didn’t spend an entire month hunting him down only to allow him the luxury of fleeing.

“As if you don’t know me better than that, Chuuya. I won’t let you go until you hear me out. I won’t let you keep avoiding me forever.”

“Can’t you take a hint?!” Chuuya grunted out, and Dazai was close enough to feel the Gryffindor’s heart drum up furiously. “I’m doing this for your own good, Dazai! We shouldn’t be seen together if you want to have any reputation or future left for you!”

Chuuya’s attempt at consealing his anxiety by anger felt like an unfunny joke to Dazai.

“Chuuya.” He murmured lowly next to Chuuya’s ear, his hand delicately but forcefully pressing Chuuya further into the wall to stop a yet-another wave of his attempts to break free. “I’d worry about my future or reputation myself , thank you very much. If you think that at 4am, there’s a soul alive watching the brooms room, or if you think that I have a single fuck to be given about the thought of being criticized for being seen with you, you are being delusional . I didn’t come here to fight you, but I do want to apologize to you.”

A growl rang out in the warm air of the room. “You are an idiot. Let me go!”

“Not before you hear me out, I told you so!” Dazai objected, leaning  the weight of his body more against Chuuya, securing him even tighter between Dazai’s frame and the wall. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry, Chuuya. Sorry for what happened at the party, and how I failed to protect you from those bastards. I feel so stupid for that now, I should have just ditched the idea in the first place and spent the day just with you. I miscalculated, and I hate myself for how I allowed you to play the martyr. I bet you felt like you’ve ruined it all, and that’s not true. I’m very glad you came, and I’m sorry for not doing better.”

A rough “shut up, you dumbass” escaped Chuuya’s lips in a quiet whisper. “If you should regret anything, it’s inviting a scum like me to your party and being dumb enough to blow all of my attempts to save your face.”

Dazai’s patience ran thin, and his voice lost some of its calmness, volume raising, but making sure to not get harsh. “You shut up. I told you already, I don’t give a shit about my reputation! I care about you , Chuuya, and not those stuck up idiots . Do you seriously think my life would be ruined if a bunch of good-for-nothings suddenly hated my guts?” His face twisted with distaste, and his eyes rolled. “I know damn well I’m way too capable to fear them , and I’d be able to achieve success with or without their approval, and you know it too! So shut up and stop insulting yourself! I already regret insulting you during our sixth year way too terribly, and I’m so sorry for that too, Chuuya. You didn’t deserve it. I was a fool .”

“You are a fool.” Chuuya spat, making sure to get as harsh as he possibly could, in contrast to Osamu. “You are wasting your time apologizing to me. Just leave already, I know I deserved those words anyway, and it’s not like I care.”

“You did not deserve anything but the best!” Dazai argued, outrage written on his face.

“You don’t know anything! ” Chuuya argued back, enthusiastically trying to wriggle himself free from the Slytherin’s hold.

“I know everything!” Dazai shouted back, not budging a single inch, much to Chuuya’s dismay.

“Like hell you do!” Chuuya scoffed poisonously, and grunted as his attempts only gained more force behind them.

“You aren’t hearing me, Chuuya! I said I know everything ! I know that you keep doing all of this because your father killed mine!”

Chuuya’s body came to a halt, unstoppable force behind his movements gone in a blink of an eye.

A brittle “...what?” shakily escaped Chuuya’s lips. His heart, previously beating fast, was now thrumming through his chest like it had gone mad.

“I said I know everything. I have, for all this year, Chuuya. I know the truth you’ve tried so hard to hide from me. I know everything .”

“You’re shitting me… this can’t be possible…” Chuuya uttered under his breath, head shaking side to side without lifting itself up to look at Dazai’s face.

Osamu’s fingers gently cupped his chin, lifting Chuuya’s head up. “I have my ways, Chuuya. I know about Gogol. Dostoyevsky. Your father. Amortentia, and even the horcruxes.”

Chuuya’s body weakly shuddered every single time he heard about another one of his exposed lies. By the end of Dazai’s admission, the only emotion that was written on Chuuya’s face was terror. His eyes, wide open and shaky, didn’t meet Dazai’s even now. 

“NO! Shut up! ” He slammed his fist into Dazai’s chest vehemently, but the pain was nothing that Dazai couldn’t handle. The Slytherin knew better than to let Chuuya go. “You don’t fucking understand! You have to fucking let me go already! Don’t touch me! ” he roared, and jerked his chin out of Dazai’s grasp.

Dazai’s heart bled violently, watching the scene unfold. He knew it wasn’t Chuuya’s hatred for him that had caused such a response. It was his hatred for himself .

Dazai solemnly looked Chuuya into the eyes as he whispered the words, “I need you to understand that I won’t let you go, Chuuya. Ever. ” Chuuya only stared back at the space behind him, and his graphite eyes were in a disconcerted haze of shock.

“You should, you moron ! My father killed yours! I… I… Dazai, I can’t even fucking look you into the eyes! I can’t even be next to you without feeling like a goddamn monster for that! You deserve the fucking world, you know?” A violent sob came from Chuuya, albeit he tried his best to contain it. He didn’t lean into Dazai’s touch and warmth, only stubbornly tried to hide his emotions, even when they were crashing down like a dam that was about to burst. “You deserve way more than me. I’m a walking catastrophe ! Everyone hates me, and I don’t understand why you don’t! I pushed you away so many times!!! Why would you want me to stay when I’m no fucking good for you?!” He uttered heavily, with choked cries mixed in. “Didn’t you hate all the Death Eaters, too?! You said so, yourself! And my family is all affiliated with them in one way or another! You’d be ruining yourself by associating with me!!”

Dazai had never heard anything more ridiculous in his life.

“Chuuya, there’s no way in hell any of those stupid excuses would stop me. I could never hate you, you hear me?” He placed his soft, cold hand onto Chuuya’s cheek, wet from tears. “I don’t care what anyone says, just get it through your thick damn skull, will you? They can go fuck themselves if they think you are the worst person to walk this Earth. I know better. I know you are the kindest, most caring and incredible person I know, and I would rather die than let you think of yourself otherwise.” His thumb delicately stroked Chuuya’s face, and he added, “You can’t fool me, Chuuya. I know more than you think I do, and I know damn well that even though so many people hate you, you still find ways to help the victims of the Death Eaters. Odasaku might be known to the public as their biggest sponsor, but don’t think that I don’t know the truth. I know you’ve given up even more of your family’s riches to those who needed it. So no, I don’t care about whatever you think should stop me from caring about you, and not your family, either. What matters to me is you, and you are fundamentally the exact opposite of everything I hate about the Death Eaters. Don’t you remember, Chuuya? I remember well the day I said I hate them. I could never forget, you know.” Dazai’s whisper was hushed and pained. “It was the day you nearly died at their hands, stupid.”

Chuuya, quite pathetically, failed to contain a loud prolonged sob that reminded that of a wounded beast.

“It doesn’t matter, Dazai. It was before they killed your dad. Before my father did it.” He muttered, spiteful. Despite that, Dazai’s hold on him hadn’t grown weaker. “So even if you had once cared about me, I am begging you, forget it. It had been all ruined for us for years already.”

“No, it hadn’t.” Dazai objected with a scoff, and looked at Chuuya sternly with his ink-colored eyes. “It had never been over for me , and I bet it never truly ended for you either. You are just being stupid, trying to shield me when I don’t need that , Chuuya! I know better what I need in life than you do!”

Chuuya shot back tearfully, his voice rising in volume. “Shut up, you idiot! Shut it! Stop talking! Do you even hear yourself?! My father killed yours, I sucked faces with your worst fucking enemy, my whole family is an automatic death sentence for your reputation, and everyone hates my guts! What in the world are you even talking about?!”

His argumentative fervor was not matched by Osamu this time, however.

“...and that must have been terrible to live through for you.” He uttered in response, continuing to gingerly stroke Chuuya’s cheek in comfort.

An ugly, overpowering shriek of a cry left Chuuya’s lips involuntarily once again.

“You shouldn’t care about what I feel, Dazai! Even if it fucking sucked, it’s none of your problems! I want you to just forget about me, and make a choice that won’t stop your happiness in the future!”

Dazai’s arms pulled Chuuya in even closer, their hold still gentle but firm.

“ You are what would make me happy, Chuuya. Nothing else, and nobody else.”

Chuuya gazed up at him, finally staring straight at him instead of avoiding him like the plague. His eyes weren’t happy. They looked haunted and exhausted, gray like dusty rooms, and not like shiny steel – the color that the eyes of a younger, starry-eyed Chuuya of the fourth year, were. “This if getting fucking nowhere.”

Dazai’s eyes, warm but firm, met his gaze head on. “Because you wouldn’t tell me how you feel, Chuuya.”

Chuuya’s face scrunched up in something between annoyance and weakness. “You want to know how I feel?”

“ Yes! ” Dazai affirmed with an enthusiastic yell, his head nodding fiercely.

“Fine then, you idiot, I’ll tell you! I feel terrible, that’s how I feel! Life sucks, okay?! I hated the last few years! I hated being a jerk and pushing everyone away! It was scary, and I fucking despised that rat bastard, Fyodor, and his stupid ansector, and fucking everything! But most importanly, I fucking hated my father! I still do! I despise him! I despise how proudly he talked about killing your dad! I’m so deeply fucking affected by this I can’t even say I’m sorry. I don’t fucking have a moral right to tell you that I’m sorry! I don’t have a right to tell you ANYTHING ! I don’t have a right to be truly honest with you, or to be in your life! I just–”

His voice shook harder than a gentle leaf in the harshest of winds, and the sight of his bright-red eyes was one of the most tortuous ones Dazai had ever born witness to.

Despite Chuuya’s protests, Dazai pressed Chuuya’s face against his shoulder, offering him what little warmth his body had to help his ease through his emotions, whether he claimed he didn’t want that at all or not. At first, Chuuya tried pushing him away. He threw punches at Dazai’s chest and abdomen – punches that Dazai knew perfectly well were a far cry from what Chuuya had truly been capable of, because he always knew that Chuuya would never be able to bring himself to hurt him.

Eventually, Chuuya just began shaking in Dazai’s arms instead, crying out instead of pointlessly fighting him, “Let me go, you big idiot! I told you, you can’t touch me! You shouldn’t even freaking bother to seek me out if you know the truth, why do you fucking continue?!” His only response was a gentle pat of Dazai’s cold hand against his head, hair slightly wet from the melted snow. He shook harder, his lips trembling, “Dazai, I… You deserve so much fucking better. You were always the coolest Merlin’s son of a bitch in the entire Hogwarts, you don’t deserve any of this shit. You don’t fucking deserve a dead father. And you sure as fuck don’t need me, the son of the monster who killed him.”

Dazai’s grip on him had tightened. He held Chuuya in his arms with all the loving force in the world. “You don’t get to decide that, Chuuya. I want you .”

Chuuya felt like Dazai stabbed his heart with a knife and twisted it. “I fucking hate how his blood runs through my veins, Dazai. I hate how much I hurt you. I hate how you fucking continue hurting yourself by following me around. I hate rejecting you and telling you I hate you. I hate how I allowed myself to even dare to spend a single second with you after what he’d done!”

Similarly, Dazai felt like Chuuya was the one twisting the knife in his chest. Seeing Chuuya, shuddering in his arms, all powerless to the tsunami of sobs and tears leaving his body, was worse than any of his knightmares. “I hate you rejecting me too, Chuuya. I hate how you think you don’t have a right to be with me, too. You have no idea , Chuuya. You are driving me crazy.” Dazai’s voice was nothing but soft, but its broken shards, colored with pain, unwantingly still cut Chuuya up from the inside.

“Shut up, Dazai. Shut up. Just let me go. I’m begging you. We can’t be together. I can’t be with you. I can’t bear even thinking about that. I can’t fucking imagine doing any of that with you. Especially now that you fucking know the truth.” And in a chocked, weaker than during his interrogation in the magical court, whisper, “Why can’t you just hate me already?”.

A beat of silence. Only Dazai’s arms, holding onto Chuuya at whatever cost. “Because I love you, idiot. Didn’t I say so already? I want you, Chuuya. I love you. Why can’t you just agree already?”

Chuuya’s fists began slamming into Dazai again, pretending to carry more force. "Are you brain damaged or something?! I told you to forget about it already! It will never work out!” Another ferocious, soul-shattering sob ripped through the air, followed by a weak, devastated “never…” afterwards.

“Why not?”

A hiss burst out. “You know why.”

“I swear I do not.” That was said in a whisper so stifled and broken that it stole the air from Chuuya’s lungs.

“You do.”

“No, Chuuya. I have no fucking clue. Tell me, why can’t we be together? I don’t believe for a second that you hate me. Even you said so already, you don’t actually hate me.”

“But you will hate me once we go out.”

Dazai scoffed, eyes looking only at Chuuya like he was the most unimaginably precious treasure in the entire world. “Impossible.”

“You say that now.” Chuuya protested weakly, sobs not stopping for a second. “You won’t think that when kissing the son of your father’s killer, Dazai. You’d hate me.”

Dazai’s grip strengthened, almost as if it would soon crush Chuuya. “The only thing I would really hate is you refusing to use my name, Chuuya.”

Chuuya spat, not venomously but rather… defensively. “Bullshit.”

“Merlin’s honest truth.”

“I fucking told you to stop this shit already! Dazai, listen, I know you have feelings for me. But you won’t. Not when you bring me to the family dinner, and I sit there, surrounded by all the kids of the man my father murdered! You might fucking lie to my face and say you won’t hate me then, but I don’t believe it! And I will never forgive myself for that either. Do you think I’m heartless? Do you think I don’t feel like fucking dying any time I look at any of you lot in the school’s hallways? I can’t even look you into the eyes, you idiot! All I do is just reject you, do you have some weird fucking fetish, or something?!” His voice was angry.

“Well, if it’s for you–!”

“Dazai.” A sob – a barely audible but jarring contrast to his anger just a second ago – was enough to cut the Slytherin’s words off.

“Chuuya.” He then continued on with a new thought. “It’s no reason for us to not be together. I love you. Don’t you love me?”

“No. I don’t.” Chuuya looked away, again, hiding his tearful grafite-colored eyes.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. If you don’t, then tell me this while you look me in the eyes.”

“You are just my…” He paused to correct himself. “You used to be my best friend, Dazai.”

“Yeah, right. And you don’t love me at all, do you? ”

“Just fucking let me go.”

“I wo–” Dazai tried to begin objecting, but Chuuya unexpectedly succeeded at pushing him away, much to his surprise. Then, the Gryffindor launched aside like a wounded beast, and picked up his wand with a thunderous speed. A second later, he vanished. It was all thanks to teleportation.

Dazai, of course, didn’t hesitate to follow him.

Another moment later, Chuuya’s escape attempt had already been cut short, and he was being pressed into the snow, with heavily-breathing Dazai hovering right above him. It almost felt nostalgic, the scene reminiscent of their sword duel during the sixth year, only roles had now been reversed.

“That wasn’t a no, Chuuya. I want my answer. Do you love me? ” Dazai pressured for an answer, eyes scorching Chuuya’s face in a manner that felt loving rather than menacing. That only caused Chuuya to wince.

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Do you love me?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Do you love me?!”

“Shut up already!”

“That’s not an answer, Chuuya! Look me into the eyes and tell me you don’t love me! Go ahead!”

“I hate you!”

“My eyes are higher, Chuuya!”

Chuuya begrudgingly raised his eyes up.

“I…”

“Do. You. Love. Me?”

“I…”

Dazai’s fingers prompted Chuuya’s chin up again, holding it tenderly with that gentlemanly grasp of his. “You?”

Chuuya’s poor heart squeezed.  He gulped, and in the most honest whisper that he had ever allowed to reach Dazai’s ears, he muttered, “I don’t have a right to love you, Osamu.”

“Chuuya. That wasn’t the question. Do you love me?”

And perhaps it was all the love in Dazai’s eyes that Chuuya yearned to reciprocate all this time, or it might have been the intensity of his own feelings finally making him lose his mind, but he finally admitted. “...I do.”

And the world went still for the both of them that moment, heavy breathing caused by the outrageously fast heartbeats being the only sound filling their senses. “I love you. I do, Osamu. But–”

“But nothing, Chuuya.” The Slytherin declines to listen further. A shaky breath of another “nothing” then followed up his words.

For the first time in eternity, their eye contact hadn’t ended there, perishing mercilessly. It was continuous, ravenous for one another and the sparks that flew between them. For the first time in ages, Chuuya couldn’t rip himself away from Dazai’s eyes, despite all the guilt in the world forcing him to. For the first time in ages, Dazai’s heart drummed joyously at the feeling of Chuuya’s eyes directly on him, finally .

The moment of their silent love confession was only interrupted a long while later by Chuuya’s voice. “Let me go, you bastard. My ass is freezing off in the snow.”

Dazai pretended to consider it with a soft giggle, before smiling smugly. “Kiss me, and I will.”

Chuuya gawked at Dazai as if he were insane. “No!”

“Chuuya, Chuuya,” he tsked dissapointedly, turning his head from side to side, “are you stupid? Didn’t I tell you I want you? Just stop overthinking it!”

Chuuya sounded like Dazai had been the one to torture him. “Dazai. I can’t. You know we can’t be together.”

Dazai looked at him sternly in response. “Last time I checked, two people who love each other should be together.”

Chuuya grimmly scoffed. “Last time I checked, that’s not the case when one of them is the son of the other’s parent’s killer, Dazai.”

Dazai’s expression darkened. “Chuuya. You aren’t your father. ”

“I’m not. I’m his son .” Chuuya said blankly, as if it was a stupid argument.

Dazai sighed heavily, followed by a deep inhale that made it look as if he were composing himself. “Chuuya. You are innocent. You don’t have anything to do with it. You fucking jailed your own father for this crime, I know that too.”

Chuuya’s raw voice dropped lower. “I did.” In a second of silence, an exchange of heartbeats interrupted the absence of sound of the frosty winter morning. “And it would never be enough . It was the least I could have done. Dazai, don’t you see I’m just as terrible as him? I just watched so many people die, and did nothing! I was locking lips with Dostoyevsky instead of fucking helping victims of his stupid ancestor, and no amount of money sponsored would ever change that! I would never understant how you look at this and think I’m worthy of your love.”

Dazai chuckled lightly, as if Chuuya wasn’t just talking about a ruthless genocide. “Chuuya. The only thing I hate about you is how your lips have been dirtied by that moron Dostoyevsky. However, I said this before, and I’ll say it again. I know it was all a lie you have made up for the greater good. It was stupid, but it did help defeat the Dark Lord. I’d never hate you for that. I’d never hate you for some innocent lives you couldn’t save. And I’d never hate you for your father’s crimes, too.” The solemn promise in his voice was so earnest, Chuuya couldn’t help but get frustrated.

“But why ?! I just don’t fucking understand!”

“Because you are Chuuya. Because I’ve always loved you. Actually, I’ve loved you ever since the first day we met, you know? I saw you beat up a poor Slytherin student and fell in love . You were always the one I love. And I know you haven’t changed, Chuuya.”

Chuuya shot his most unimpressed stare at Dazai like a ruthless bullet. His blushing cheeks, however, treacherously didn’t help. “How the fuck would you know that?”

“I told you I know everything, Chuuya. I know you saved my life from Gogol, too, remember?”

Chuuya couldn’t get his mouth to move in a way that resembled coherent human speech for a moment, his own tongue and lips betraying him when he needed them most.

Dazai smiled at him blindingly, a victorious smile looking so right on his face. “So, will you kiss me now?”

With a struggle, Chuuya had eventually overcome his mouth’s defiance, only to reject Dazai once more.

“Chuuya, stop torturing me already.” Dazai rolled his eyes dramatically, but a slight tremble in his voice didn’t escape Chuuya’s ears.

“Osamu, I still can’t do this. I feel so damn guilty for your father’s death, I won’t be able to think of anything else any time I so much as look at your lips.”

And instead of his usual response that would attempt to reassure and change the stubborn mind of the otherwise-genius Gryffindor wizard, the only thing that had left Dazai’s lips was… a gust of trembling air. He didn’t speak for some time. For just this once, he was the one to look away from Chuuya. The Gryffindor dreaded how he didn’t feel relief at the idea, only a wave of nausea.

After an excruciating forever of silence, Dazai’s gaze had returned right where it belonged, back onto Chuuya, and he muttered some words under his breath. Words that would change Chuuya’s life forever, haunting his worst nightmares and sweetest dreams alike.

“Chuuya. Fucking stop, please. I’ve already lost my dad because of your father. I’m begging you…” he took a ragged gasp that bordered the limits of insanity, “don’t let your father take another person I can’t live without away from me. That’s all the redemption I ask of you.”

The image of Dazai’s charcoal black eyes, watery, almost tearful, accompanied by the shaky desperation in his voice, was the most earth-shattering thing in Chuuya’s entire life. For once, he didn’t care for Dazai’s reputation suffering because of him, and he didn’t wish to think about Mori, or his own father. He didn’t consider all the crimes he had commited in his life, and the uncertain gloomy future he had envisioned to be waiting for him.

The only desire remaining in his mind had been to finally cave in, and stop torturing Dazai’s heart, just like his friends had been begging him to. Like Dazai had been begging him to. How Chuuya himself had yearned to stop this and get out of the self-inflicted nightmare.

An “okay” was quiet, becoming almost one with the winter wind that was moving the little bits of snow through air, making it get stuck in-between the strands of their hair and the folds of their clothing.

To Chuuya, Dazai had never looked more beautiful and radiant than like this, with his hair all snowy as he was hovering above him, eyes losing their hurt edge, softening as his plea had finally elicited something different from a rejection. Those eyes, jewel-like and shining, were whispering love confessions to Chuuya like it was the work of a magic spell.

Chuuya continued his line of thought by adding a promise of shy and uncertain “i’ll try” – something he’d had to find the power to say out loud.

Chuuya had always been filled with a sea of decision and courage. He had always been a valiant wizard on the battlefield, and a cocky, determined captain during the Quidditch matches. However, when it came to Dazai, it was like all of his confidence evaporated, forcing him to painfully gather it back, drop by drop.

However, it was that moment that Chuuya’s courage had finally amounted to a small puddle of painstakingly earned bits of dedication and thrumming heartbeats. He closed his eyes and leaned in, grabbing Dazai by the collar, pressing their cold lips together, crushing them against each other into a kiss that he had been dreaming of giving Dazai all this time. One where he could actually respond to Dazai’s affection, could brush their tongues together as their lips didn’t leave each other until both of their noses began to burn from the frosty air. One where he could intertwine his fingers with Dazai’s wavy soft hair, all puffy like a cotton candy cloud. One that they’d continue until they both ran out of air, gasping for it like two manmen, with their hearts beating against the other’s chest louder than the sound of all the electric guitars in Chuuya’s beloved muggle music.

The moment of magic, more whimsical and enchanting than any spell could have ever been, had ended in what felt like a tragically short blink of an eye. It hadn’t really been short by any stretch of imagination, of course – the two boys had been kissing so intensely and continuously that they had ran out of any air to spare – but it did feel unimaginably short in comparison to the long years of yearning.

Unfortunately for Chuuya, their human physiology demanding that they separate to inhale some chilling air had also by extension doomed him to finally facing the reality, however scary it might have been. He had blinked his eyes open, a little timidly and awkwardly, and yet the sight he had been greeted with had washed his anxiety and dread away like a gentle but fierce tide of relied. It was Dazai’s face, remaining close despite their kiss having already ended, only milimiters separating their lips as Dazai’s gasps for air had fanned against Chuuya’s skin. Most importantly, however, his face was still radiant, even more so now. The Slytherin’s eyes were shining even brighter, and his lips, red and wet from the kisses, were smiling so wide that it had felt blinding. Dazai didn’t suddenly start hating him.

Chuuya couldn’t help but note how his eyes had stung slightly at the thought, and how his face had instantly gotten even redder, his heartbeat getting even faster, in tune with Dazai’s.

“I want more, Chuuya.” Whispered the shameless bastard, practically against Chuuya’s lips. He was looking at Chuuya as if he was a magical fairy that enchanted him into a forever-infatuation. Chuuya wanted to scoff, but didn’t manage to do this. More accurately, Dazai’s lips had stopped him from fulfilling that desire.

Chuuya, of course, didn’t mind at that very moment. He could have kissed Dazai forever even if Death itself would punish him by having him met his untimely demise from a cold later. All he yearned for at that second had been the once-unreachable warmth of Dazai’s touch, and the comfort of his kisses. He yearned for a chance, and he was finally ready to listen to the weak voice inside of him that cheered him on, even if it meant ignoring all the rest that had loudly screamed how he’d never deserve that.

That’s why, as their second wave of kisses went one, Chuuya forgot all about the uncomfortable chill of the snow he was lying in, and his eyes were too busy, looking at Dazai straight on. For the first time in ages, he had finally had the opportunity to truly admire his face. Appreciate the way his cheeks had become thinner, and his jawline had gotten attractively sharper. Observe the way his eyelashes would flatter above his magnetic eyes. Adore the little strands of his hair, peppered with snowflakes, getting stuck to his forehead.

Chuuya had missed being able to truly look at Dazai even more than he realized he did.

As they begrudgingly separated yet again, Chuuya had finally had the time to notice that – too engrossed with hungrily drinking into the sight of Dazai’s face – he had missed the way the rays of the rising sun had colored the sky into an endearing shade of pink. It was magical. So magical, in fact, that Chuuya couldn’t dare breathe at the sight. It had seemed too good and perfect to be true, and a part of him was scared that it would all fall apart any second now. That any little action would destroy the illusion and wake him up from his dream.

However, not even pinching could stop this moment, as it was no dream at all – it was reality, much to Chuuya’s relief. A reality that had featured getting pressed into the snow by the love of his life, and kissing him breathless, time and time again.

Yes, getting pressed into the snow…

The thought had hit Chuuya like a bolt of lightning, making him come to his senses.

“Wait a second,” Chuuya had muttered hurriedly, his eyebrows furrowing together just a little bit as he finally remembered. “Osamu, get off of me, we need to get up from the snow! We can’t risk getting sick, I have a final match of Quidditch!”

Dazai smiled at him warmly – and Chuuya just knew it in his bones that it was all because he had called him Osamu again! – but didn’t allow him to get up just yet. “I will if you promise me that we’d continue elsewhere, my adorable boyfriend~”

Chuuya’s cheeks felt like they were on fire despite the cold weather. Despite that, there still had been a big part of him that had wished to escape to the ends of the Earth after hearing Dazai claim him as his boyfriend, his fears and insecurities gnawing at him mercilessly, but he had decided to turn a deaf ear against them from now on. It wouldn’t be easy, he knew that much, but he was just stubborn enough to do this anyway.

“...we will.” His promise had to be forced out through his teeth, and his voice wasn’t loud, but it was still sincere and genuine. “...I will try my best for you… boyfriend.”

The last word came out nearly inaudible, too grand and scary for Chuuya to even say out loud, but it didn’t get in the way of Dazai rejoicing at the words nonetheless. He had instantly gotten up from the snow, and offered Chuuya his hand like a gentleman. “I believe you, Chuuya. And I swear that I will also try to make you the happiest. My New Year’s resolution, remember?”

Chuuya couldn’t tell if the tight feeling in his throat was coming from the chokehold his fear had had on him, or from the insane pounding of his heart as he took Dazai’s hand, getting up and brushing the snow away from his robe. “Yeah.”

“You better not take my words lightly, just letting you know.” Dazai warned him, beginning to gently brush his fingers against Chuuya’s calloused hand after both of them had finished taking care of the snow. “I do promise you to try very hard. I’d be damned if I don’t, okay? I will attend your Quidditch matches and cheer you on, I will be there to congratulate you after you win the championships, and I will make sure to give you a future you wouldn’t trade for anything else in this world, even if you don’t think that’s possible right now, Chuuya. I would never leave you to suffer alone ever again, and I will bear all of your hardships with you.” He gave Chuuya’s hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. “Do you hear me loud and clear?”

“...you don’t have to promise all of this to me, Osamu. Not when I can’t even promise not to fuck this whole thing up with my feelings and problems and all.” Chuuya muttered indesicively, feeling his guilt suffocate him at the sensation of security Osamu’s words had ignited within him.

“Don’t worry, Chuuya.” Dazai urged him, unfazed by Chuuya’s admission. “I fully expect that it wouldn’t be easy for you or us to navigate. I know that I can’t help you overcome the way you feel and the way you hurt just by saying some passionate speech, and neither do I expect it to fully vanish.” His hand had raised Chuuya’s own higher, now having them both rest somewhere between their chests. “But I don’t have a single doubt in my mind that we would eventually still overcome most of the problem, and even if you don’t trust yourself not to fuck this up, you can rest assured. I don’t ever plan on letting you break it all off, and I will be patient with you even if you fuck things up.”

“...are you certain?”

“Like never before in my life.”

“It would be terribly hard, you know, right? And I would be a way bigger handful than I used to be before, you realize, right? I wouldn’t blame you for backing out of this.”

“Chuuya.” Dazai cut him off, his voice deliberately making certain that Chuuya knew he wasn’t angry with him, keeping his tone just firm but not irritated. “I. Love. You. You wouldn’t get rid of me even if you wanted to, you hear me? I am not giving up on you or my goal of marrying you one day, am I being clear?”

Chuuya spluttered, not even the hold of Dazai’s fingers enough to keep him from freaking out. “M-marriage?!”

Dazai giggled, stroking his palm with his thumb gently. “Well, yeah. One day I will.”

Chuuya’s heart squeezed tightly at the unquestionable confidence at Dazai’s voice. His tone was like he was proclaiming that the sky was blue, not just bringing up such a grand step of their freshly-established relationship. “You’ve got to kidding me…”

Dazai mischevously smiled at him with a Cheshire cat smile, tilting his head. He suddenly pulled their joined hands to the side. “You think so? Then maybe you should look at your finger, Chuuya.”

And before Chuuya could even shift his gaze to do just like Osamu had urged him to, he began to feel a strange warmth surround one of his fingers. The ring finger.

One single glance afterwards had confirmed that Chuuya wasn’t imagining this to himself. It was as if countless little stars, sized as tiny flecks of sparkling dust, were forming a ring just below his knuckle.

The sight had made Chuuya’s heart come dangerously close to exploding. “You…”

Dazai had observed the change of his expression with an amused, loving look, and murmured in reply. “Don’t worry, I’m not actually proposing just yet. Consider this… My promise for the future, alright? A promise that I will wait for however long it takes, and help you overcome however many hurdles it takes before we could actually reach that stage.” He then gently brought their hands back into the space between them, this time lifting it higher, to place a small, delicate kiss against Chuuya’s ring finger.

And as the pink hue of the sky illuminated Chuuya’s adorable expression, stuck between an uneasy anxious frown and a shy smile, full of love he wasn’t quite good at expressing just yet, Dazai couldn’t help but notice that he had misjudged the beauty of his surroundings. The piles of snow, the little fluffy clouds, the drops of frozen water on the trees… They were enchanting.

***

Wizarding Times, issue #645

MINISTER OF THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT, DAZAI OSAMU, AND COMMANDER OF “THE FLAGS”, NAKAHARA CHUUYA, NOW ENGAGED?

Yesterday, Dazai Osamu, head of the Dazai family, and Nakahara Chuuya, commander of the Specialized Enforcement Devision, directly subordinate to the Head Auror, “The Flags”, had been photographed together, allegedly during a date.

There, the candidate for the youngest Minister of Magic in wizarding history, and his long-time boyfriend, the hero of the Dragon Head Conflict, were seen with a pair of matching black rings on their fingers. We couldn’t get the official sources to confirm the news, despite having submitted letters directly to the Ministry of Magic and the Department of Law Enforcement, but the confirmation, frankly speaking, doesn’t seem needed.

In the photographs, obtained by our correspondent, the controversial auror, Nakahara Chuuya, appears to be smiling blindingly at his – assumably – fiancé, as well as later pulling him into a hug.

We will withhold offering the couple our congratulations until we receive an official confirmation of the information, and for now, we urge our readers to read a related article on page 10 – Nakahara Chuuya: a detailed introspection on Brittain’s most controversial wizard: successes and failures as the commander of “The Flags”, public response and lasting impact of his involvement in the Great War against the Dark Lord Shibusawa on his reputation and career.