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A knock on his door wakes him.
Megumi feels his face scrunch up in annoyance. His eyes aren’t open, but from the way his body still aches with fatigue, he knows it’s still early hours of the morning.
He’s as comfortable as he can get on his small mattress, blanket wrapped tightly around him. With thoughts of how much he loves his rest, he blissfully begins to drift off.
The knock comes again.
He groans, but allows his eyes to open this time. The moon shines brightly from the window, casting the room in an alleviating light, soft enough not to make his eyes squint.
Before another dreaded knock can happen, Megumi forces his body to sit up, a much too difficult task at this ungodly time, and makes his way to his door.
He swears that if this is Gojo-sensei, he’ll lose it-
“What?” he says in the driest tone he can muster, preparing to see a cocky grin and black blindfold before him.
As he fully opens his door, however, he’s met with the sight of a sheepish Yuji Itadori, left arm lifted as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. He isn’t meeting Megumi’s gaze, instead focusing on a point on the wooden floor.
He knows immediately that something is wrong.
“Sorry,” Yuji begins, fidgeting. Uncertainty looks foreign on him. Megumi wishes he could forcibly remove it himself. “You were sleeping. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
“You’re fine, Yuji.”
This doesn’t seem to comfort him at all, though. “No, this was-” He starts turning away, chuckling insincerely, self-deprecating. “This was stupid. I’m sorry.”
Panic fills Megumi’s chest, and he moves before he even registers what he’s doing.
He had been aiming for Yuji’s wrist, trying to stop him from leaving without saying what he needed to say, but he had grabbed his hand instead. He can’t tear his eyes from their point of contact.
The palm of his hand is so soft, Megumi finds himself thinking. “What do you need?” he asks, voice rough, despite the ridiculous amount of fluttering occurring in his abdomen right now.
Yuji’s voice sounds a bit strained when he answers. “I just needed to talk, I guess.” He squeezes Megumi’s hand. Megumi almost stops breathing. “You can say no.”
Clearing his throat, he meets Yuji’s gaze head-on. “Come on.”
They walk into his room silently, settling on the edge of Megumi’s bed, side by side.
Megumi pleads that Yuji doesn’t notice that they’re still holding hands, if he hasn’t already. He doesn’t want him to pull away.
He stares at Yuji’s side profile, eyes traveling across the sharp line of his jaw up to the furrow between his eyebrows. The light illuminates every juncture, every fine detail of his pensive expression. He could look at him forever, it feels like.
“I was thinking too much,” Yuji says quietly, looking down at his lap. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“You can tell me,” Megumi replies after a moment of contemplation. He isn’t good at this, at communicating. He’s known long before Yasohachi Bridge when Yuji and Nobara finally called him out on it.
He’ll still try for them. For Yuji.
“You know how my trial was only pushed back? Until I absorb all of Sukuna’s fingers?” Megumi nods, apprehension clawing at his chest. He doesn’t like where this train of thought is going. “I thought that I’d be satisfied with choosing how I would die. By saving people in the meantime.”
Yuji raises his head, and the look in his eyes is like a physical blow to Megumi’s soul. He can’t seem to remain on one emotion, fear, doubt, desperation, all culminating in his light brown eyes.
“I was scared, Megumi. Back in the detention facility.” He takes a deep breath, clutching his hand like his life depends on it. Maybe it does in this moment. The next words he utters make ice wrap around his heart like a vice.
“I don’t want to die.”
Megumi knows his eyes must reflect some form of shock. He had known from Sukuna’s gloating that day that Yuji had needed to be frantic to switch with him, but he didn’t- hadn’t believed it was the full truth.
He curses himself for his willful ignorance. Of course, Itadori doesn’t want to lose his life, not when it’s barely begun.
Another thought enters his mind, then. Yuji had only eaten that finger to save him. He was only in this position because of his inability to be better.
Megumi allows his instincts to take the reins as he wraps his free arm around Yuji, pushing his head into the crook of his neck, pink strands silky between his calloused fingers.
He doesn’t know how to comfort people with words. He’s blunt and always tries to get straight to the point. Doesn’t fret about sugarcoating what he says.
That’s not what Yuji needs right now.
His hitching breath tickles Megumi’s sensitive skin, but he feels the tension leave his body when he senses Yuji’s other hand seize the back of his hoodie just as fiercely.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into the top of his best friend’s head, fighting against the all-consuming urge to leave a kiss there, too. “I’m so sorry.”
Because what else can he say?
That he’ll probably fight tooth and nail to stop Yuji’s trial when it eventually comes? That he refuses to allow someone else to unfairly take his life away from him? That he would rather die himself than have to watch the life drain out of Yuji’s carefree, honest, and genuine eyes?
He hates the absolute helplessness that is building up in his chest. He pulls Yuji tighter against him as the desire to protect becomes overwhelming.
Yuji’s cries settle after a few more minutes of just… existing together. He doesn’t know how to take this pain away, doesn’t know if he even can.
But when Yuji’s red, tear-streaked face looks up at him, he can’t help but lean down and place a gentle peck to that damned furrow he saw before. Mortification threatens to swallow him whole, but the tentative smile that it brings to Yuji’s cheeks makes it worth it.
Megumi feels the heat spreading up to the tips of his ears, but he gives a smile of his own.
They’re still mere centimeters apart, and Megumi can almost feel Yuji’s lips brush against his when he whispers. “Can I stay with you?”
“Of course,” he replies, closing that distance between them with the hand still in Yuji’s hair.
Their future is still so unsure, so fucking unsure, but with Yuji in his arms tonight, it doesn’t feel as horrifying.