Chapter Text
Joy, grief, loneliness, desire, hope. All emotions the average human would experience in their day to day life. Akutugawa, however, was nowhere near average. He was a silent mad dog, And mad, silent dogs are not average people, they’re animals. Heartless, angry animals that seek out nothing in life but death. That's what Akutugawa was perceived as his whole life. That's what he is, what he’s meant to be.
Or at least, that's what he used to think, before he met the Detective Agency. The warm, welcoming light of the agency that quickly took him in and embraced him. The place that proved to him he was more than a killing machine, that he deserved to have emotions. The organization that gave him something he never knew he wanted but deep down always needed: A home.
So here he was on this cold September morning, sitting at a simple wooden desk, wearing a basic white blouse and a dark coat that hung drearily on his thin figure. He flicked a black pen between his fingers with his right hand, and pushed back his micro-bangs with his left. The air was cold around him, and he felt boredom seeping throughout his body as he stared at the different patterns and shadows on the ceiling.
No one ever came to the building this early in the morning except for himself, and occasionally Kunikida. It was routine for him to just wait in silence for others to show up, sometimes catching up on missed paperwork. So, you can imagine his surprise when the door to the office creaked open, and a short ginger man entered the room in what seemed to be annoyance.
“Stupid fuckin’ paperwork creepin up on me last second..” Chuuya murmured inaudibly, stomping over to his desk and very clearly ignoring Akutagawa.
The dark haired man stared curiously at the ginger. Chuuya had never come to the office early, especially not looking as disheveled as he did right now. Normally, Chuuya was well groomed: Hair brushed and curled elegantly on his shoulder, white button down and dark blue vest perfectly ironed, choker always straight. But today, his hair was tousled, his shirt and vest wrinkled, his choker slightly awry.
Akutugawa opened his mouth then paused. His eyes were still trained on Chuuya, and he wanted to question why he looked as he did, but he hesitated.
Chuuya, though he tried not to, noticed Akutugawa's staring. His face turned into a grimace and he swiftly set his papers down.
With a sigh, he pointed to himself, and explained, "I know I know. I forgot to finish some damned paperwork and now I gotta come in all early to finish up. I had no time to get ready."
“Ah," Akutugawa nodded. He appreciated that the red-head could answer his questions without him having to ever ask, though he would've very much been fine to ask it himself. He swiveled back around in his chair to face his own desk, then tapped on the hardwood table with a black manicured nail.
Chuuya averted his focus back to his work, and quickly sat down in his office chair. He pulled a pen out of his pocket, clicked it a few times, then started intently writing with what Akutugawa thought was perfect handwriting. Sometimes, he would remember when Chuuya taught him how to perfectly create those same elegant strokes in his calligraphy. He always enjoyed those lessons, back when he first joined the agency.
Actually, Akutugawa had really always looked up to Chuuya since the beginning. When he first joined the Detective Agency, back when he was a teenager, Chuuya taught him everything. He was respectful, yet deep. He understood Akutagawa, yet he never pried into anything the dark haired man was uncomfortable with. He encouraged him, he motivated him, and he made him feel like he was worth something. Growing up in the slums, he had never had someone like that before. Because of this, Akutugawa really did see Chuuya as the best superior one could ever ask for.
Akutugawa had made his goal in life to please the ginger haired man. He wanted to show his superior how much he admired and respected him, whether that be through the way he spoke, the way he performed on missions, or simply the way he acted. It didn’t matter if Chuuya was the cruelest man in the world (he isn't) because Akutugawa would still think of him as the best.
Akutugawa obeyed every single command he received, he tried to engage with Chuuya as much as possible, and seemed as genuine as he could manage, which he had gotten better at since he constantly became more and more content with his life over time. He had grown, and while he still had a long way to go, he could find simple comforts, rather than agitation, in the barely-occupied room he sat in now.
A quiet clock ticked in the background, and Akutugawa’s boredom had ceased for the time being. He doodled on a small piece of scrap paper from his desk. A couple action shots of undetailed figures, a scribbled out face, and a few blossoming lotus flowers filled up the majority of the space on the page. A new, large rose was slowly filling up more. Both Akutugawa and Chuuya were intent on their respective activities for a while. Chuuya's pen made small noises as it flowed gently against the paper, and Akutugawa's rough scribbles seemed to echo loudly, though neither of them paid any mind to the sounds. Both were deeply lost in thought.
Akutugawa's fingers flowed mindlessly on the paper, though his thoughts were racing. He remembered back to when he first joined the Angecy; he refused to let his memories trace back any farther than that for his own sanity.
When Akutugawa had first been found by the Agency, he was 13. He had no home, no family, no food, and his young life already seemed to be over. However, Chuuya, who was also only 15, took him in. He showed Akutugawa his life meant something, he gave him an identity that was more than killing. For a while, Akutugawa and Chuuya had also shared a dorm, which only strengthened their bond, though another room quickly freed up for Akutugawa to take. Sometimes, Akutugawa wished he never switched dorms, though he would never allow himself to explore those thoughts further.
Akutugawa found himself drawing out the older man in his teenage years. The two toned eyes, the short, ruffled ginger hair, the warm grin he wore 24/7. They were all featured loudly and proudly in the portrait. His strokes were quickly interrupted, however, when the other man let out a loud, content sigh and cracked his knuckles.
“Finally,” He groaned, setting his pen down and stretching his back out in his black leather seat. He smiled then nodded towards the ravenette. “Watcha doing there?”
Akutugawa looked up from his filled up paper, then quickly set his pencil down. He turned to face Chuuya, then with wide eyes, quickly replied, “Chuuya-san, Well, I was just sketching a little, since all my paperwork is done and there isn't exactly much left to do around here.” the dark haired man said, shrugging slightly.
“Wow, you actually draw? I bet it’s good. Can I see?” the redhead asked with a grin, pushing himself out of his chair and already starting towards the other man's desk before he could even reply.
“Oh, yeah sure. Sorry, these ones aren’t the greatest.” Akutugawa started, watching with fixed eyes as Chuuya walked over to him and swiped the scrap paper. “I mean, most of my finished art’s at home anyways. These are just some-”
“Well, honestly, these aren't half bad at all. Is that me?” Chuuya interrupted with a smile.
Akutugawa blinked a couple times, then smiled. “Ah really? Thank you, Chuuya-san. And yes, I was just thinking back to when you first recruited me, and I guess my hands just did the rest.”
Chuuya set the paper back down on a glowing Akutugawa’s desk, leaned back, and chuckled. He put a soft hand on Akutugawa’s shoulder and warmly announced, “You’ve got talent, really Akutagawa. You’ll have to draw me again sometime! I'm curious how I'd be drawn now.”
Akutugawa’s eyes glistened, “Sure, Chuuya-san. Whatever you want. I’ll draw it,” he said, sarcasm lingering in his tone, but not enough to hide that he meant it.
Chuuya flashed a warm smile, one that he only ever really showed Akutugawa. One that Akutugawa couldn't help but return.
“Akutagawa! We’ve got work to do today so get ready-” Suddenly, the office door creaked open and a gruff sounding voice filled the room. “Oh. Good morning, uh, Nakahara-san? What brings you here so early in the day?” A blond man with glasses on the edge of his nose stepped into the office, with a large stack of what seemed to be papers and confusion etched in his brow.
“Kunikida-san,” The redhead said in greeting,”I just had some extra paperwork to catch up on before a deadline, no big deal,” Chuuya greeted quietly, pushing himself away from Akutugawa’s desk and back to his own seat.
"Ah, got it. In that case, could you help Akutagawa and me summarize these for Ranpo-san? And maybe go with him to grab some snacks? You know how he gets without them."
Kunikida grunted, dropping a heavy stack of papers on his desk.
Chuuya chuckled, then nodded, leaning against his desk with one arm outstretched to grip the side. “For sure, Kunikida-san. We’ll head down right now, right Akutagawa?” He nodded towards the seated boy.
The ravenette coughed into his arm. He looked towards Chuuya then Kunikida before he swiftly replied, “Yes, of course. We will go right now, Chuuya-san. And I’ll help you with those papers later, Kunikida-san.”
Akutugawa quickly got up out of his chair and bowed towards Kunikida, then began walking towards the door. He paused as he waited for Chuuya and straightened out his blouse.
Chuuya nodded and pushed himself off his desk. He started towards Akutagawa and paused at his side, waiting as the younger man clasped the door handle and held it open for him. Chuuya murmured a quiet, “Thank you,” and began walking down the stairs that led to the lobby. Akutugawa trailed after him, walking just a few steps behind out of respect.
“Sorry we got interrupted by Kunikida,” Chuuya grimaced, shoving his hands into his cream trouser pockets. His dress shoes clacked noisily down the hardwood steps.
“You need not apologize, Chuuya-san. It wasn't your fault.” Akutugawa stated, his arms tucked awkwardly at his side. He ran his fingers through his hair as an attempt to remove any knots he had and as an attempt to appear neater.
“Hah, I know Akutagawa, but still. Don’t tell the others this, but I enjoy talking to you far more than anyone else. They’re all so, for lack of a better word, boring. You though, you’re interesting. I like that about you.”
Akutugawa paused mid step. His eyes widened and he felt a warm feeling surge through his chest. He couldn't suppress the smile that etched its way onto his face, though he still coughed into his arm to hide it. “Thank you, Chuuya-san. That means a lot to me.”