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Going to the park to consume cigarettes and soju was the daily routine of Gi-Hun and Sang-Woo.
It was night time; the full moon reflected on the lake beneath them, a beautiful sight to contemplate on their life and the future ahead of them.
Sang-Woo was recently accepted into Seoul National University, and he was going to major in buisness. Gi-Hun, was of course, very proud of his dongsaeng, telling him how he had Ssangmun-dong's blood running through his veins and would absolutely ace every class, every assignment, and didn't need to worry too much.
They laughed, although Sang-Woo was nervous for the future ahead, he thought of the legacy he would leave behind. And how it was his chance to speak now or forever hold his peace.
Gi-Hun, of course, was ahead of him.
"So... Sang-Woo-ya, the pride and joy of this town.., hiugh" he was drunk already "ho-w... how come, such a great guy, never had a girlfriend?" He asked in between laughs. Sang-Woo was taken back at the question, giving him a spotlight he didn't want.
"Because... I haven't found the one yet..." he gulped, taking big sip of soju after lying about his reasoning.
"Come on..! It's not that hard.., you know? It just takes a bit of bravery."
"You should know, after all, you are the heartthrob of Ssangmun-dong!" They laughed together. Gi-Hun was really lucky with women, he could gather any girl's phone number just by smiling at them.
That sweet smile Sang-Woo savour every time he sees it.
He inhales smoke.
"All it takes a bit of bravery, huh?" He thought to himself.
"Hyung" he said, low and deep, a very serious tone that contrasted the laughs they shared a few seconds ago. He bit his lip, taking a sip of soju to gather the bravery to reveal his truth.
"Gi-Hun, Hyung, what do you think about homosexuals?" He asked, every inch of his body regretted pronouncing those words. But it was too late now to turn back.
"Well, they are like anyone else, you know, love is a beautiful thing, and people find it, even in the most unexpected places, as long that they are happy, it's good"
"Would you date a homosexual?" Sang-Woo asks, inhaling nervously at the cigarette in his hand.
Gi-Hun seems to be taken back by this. He hasn't questioned his sexuality, he is the "heartthrob of Ssangmun-dong" after all. He stops to wonder, would he, even with all the beautiful women that went after him, would date a man? He gives it a thought, quietly inhaling at the cigarette as he stares at the distance.
"Well, at long as they are pretty." He concludes in between laughs, grabbing Sang-Woo by the shoulder, while the younger one looks down at the floor.
"Hyung... am I pretty?" He asks, fidgeting at the cigarette nervously.
Gi-Hun turns his head to face his younger counterpart, raising his brow with a serious stare. "I'm fucked" resonates in Sang-Woo's head.
"What type of question is that?" Gi-Hun interrogates, Sang-Woo's respiration starts to quicken, he felt like he was going to start to cry, kneeling down, asking for forgiveness, as it was stupid of him of put himself out, ruining the only meaningful friendship because of the selfish wish his sinful thoughts would be reciprocal.
"You are the most beautiful man I've seen in my life, such a pretty face; look at your eyes, that masculine jawline, and your ettiquete, you are to die for, Sang-Woo-ya. Dare I say, once you are in SNU, you will meet that SNU girl who is "the one" you are looking for, just as pretty as you, just as intelligent, if you are lucky, she would come from a wealthy family that would cover your initial expenses while you climb the corporate ladder." Gi-Hun once again grabbed his friend's while smiling tenderly, Sang-Woo was pale, but eased at the realization that his friend didn't get the hint. Maybe... it was for the best; it was selfish of him to ruin everything they have built up, just because he wanted to be honest with his feelings for once. Gi-Hun wanted a family, he couldn't provide him with that, he couldn't steal that from him.
He inhales once again to the cigarette. It was time for him to move on, it was time for him to focus on his success, even if he died by the uncertainty of what "could have been".
"Yes, a girl..." responded Sang-Woo, meeting Gi-hun eyes.
"A SNU girl."
"Yeah, that."
They kept drinking, enjoying each other's company under the beautiful sights the night of Seoul provided them.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Hyung, I think you drank way too much"
"I th..ink hiugh! I think.. you are hiugh! Exa...ggerating, Woo Cho Sang! Hiugh..."
"Hyung, you can't even recall my name..."
"I'm just kidding! Sang-Woo-ya... hiugh! I can recall everything that happened so far!"
Sang-Woo went pale again, clenching his fist. Wishing it wasn't true.
"I asked you... hiugh, I asked you how come you never had a girlfriend, you told me because you haven't... hiugh, found "the one" hiugh, then you asked me... hiugh, something completely unrelated about gay people and if I would date one... hiugh, and surely! If they were just as pretty as you, I would do it in a heartbeat! And then you wanted to know if you were pretty and GOD hiugh! You sure are. And..." Gi-Hun started quietly replay over and over the information he just recalled, realizing something obvious that went over his head. His eyes widened, even though his blood was contaminated with alcohol, he sobered at the realization of what his friend wanted to imply a couple of hours ago.
"Sang-Woo... you...?" The aforesaid was frozen in place, he wanted to scream, to run. But he stayed there, showing little emotion in his face... like he always did.
"You..? me...? But... but I am... I'm not like you... I'm such, I don't know, average. You deserve great things"
Sang-Woo's face was red, but he was determined, he fucked up and couldn't back from it now, might as well just take his shot, feel at least for one time in his life, how it feels to be loved.
He gently grabbed his friend's jaw and pressed his lips against the eldest.
It was soft, warm, and so addicting. They stayed like it for a few seconds. Their eyes met, both unsure of what they should do now.
"Hyung, I don't want your life to stop because of me. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have a wife, and you deserve kids of your own. I can't give you that."
Gi-Hun was still in shock. He still couldn't believe he'd cause such an effect on the prodigy of Ssangmun-dong, the man who was supposed to carry the name of the town all the way up to the highest societies of Korea.
"I don't want you to ruin yourself because of me, you are destined for greatness, I am not great"
"Don't say that. You are too harsh on yourself. You are better than you think, trust me."
They drank again. They both knew that even though their feelings were mutual, they had different aspirations in life that were not compatible.
"Well, you are leaving in a few months. What do you think if we make some fond memories in the meantime? Then, we will go in our ways. You will conquer the world, and I'd be a regular guy. " Gi-Hun proposes, brushing Sang-Woo's hair.
Sang-Woo gave him a sweet smile, something he didn’t do often, his heart melted on the sight.
They leaned on each other again, tasting their soft lips as their chest burned with the bliss of reciprocal affection. This might not last forever, but at this moment, they couldn't perceive time.
They were happy.
They were in love.