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Ever since that one night where they talked about his Penchant of excitedly waiting for the next Lady Whistledown Pamphlet, Penelope could not forget Lord Remington.
It may have started for her as enjoying him unknowingly praising her, but had become more.
She actively sought him out at social gatherings.
They were of a similar age she 20 and him just 23. They found they had a lot in common.
After speaking of gossip and Whistledown at length they had moved on to other topics as well.
They were both outcasts of a sort. But they found something with each other. A true friendship.
For Penelope the truest friendship she ever had. For she was not only talked at and over. She was listened to and considered. And if there was a differing opinion there was a respectful debate.
She still sometimes spoke to Lord Debling. But she did not seek him out. While conversations with him were nice and amiable they did not give her the same feeling as speaking to Lord Remington.
The joy she felt when she spoke with Lord Remington About the latest tidbits she overheard was unmatched.
While she was Looking for him in the gardens she reminisced About something he had said to her.
"My dear Miss Featherington just how do you come by these tantalizing morsels of gossip?"
Feeling chagrined she had answered: "Well I know how to blend in...and wallflowers are rarely noticed, it is not my fault I am so ignored they talk so freely right next to me." she was blushing with slight shame.
Lord Remington looked at her consideringly, for once not grinning his infectious smile.
"Society is Blind and the poorer for not noticing you properly Miss Featherington."
The look he had given her had made her flush in an entirely different way...and made her tingle quite pleasantly.
While she was looking for her friend, Colin came towards her.
"Pen what are you doing out here?" he asked in a slightly accusing tone.
"Looking for Lord Remington." She answered not understanding his tone and looked at him with confused blinks.
"Oh Pen, I know Lord Remington feels safe to talk to but since he is not a real contender you should concentrate on looking for an actual candidate. Get out of your comfort zone and talk to another gentleman.” He said with his usual arrogance and confidence.
Until that Moment, she had quite forgotten she was husband hunting. She just wanted to talk to her friend. But the dismissive tone made her angry for her friend.
What Colin and Penelope did not know. Lord Remington was on the other side of a hedge. Obscured by it and was listening to the exchange. He had seen the top of a Red Curls and had hoped to find his friend.
He felt disheartened by Colin's dismissal. But also, rather used to being dismissed by other gentlemen and society as a whole.
“Colin Bridgerton, how dare you be so callous.” Penelope answered sounding rather angry with her long-time friend. “I do not care for your tone at all. He may not Dance with me, but he listens, and his mind is sharp and his wit wonderful.
“And I suppose you find his estate size Wonderful too.” He answered in a rather scathing tone.
At this, Penelope scoffs. She may have trouble in standing up for herself…but when it came to defending a friend, she somehow always found the courage.
“I can’t believe you Colin, If I ever wanted a man just for riches or an estate I could have trapped any and each one of you Bridgeton’s Long Long ago. Do you have any Idea just how lax you lot are? Or at least used to be around me? My god I could have trapped Anthony, Benedict and especially you so very easily if I had wanted. However, I would never do that. Because I am better than that!”
At this Colin looked slightly guilty but confused at the same time. “Pen calm down, I just meant…”
She held up her hand: “Do not dare tell me to calm down after you insulted one of my dearest friends. I like Lord Remington a lot. He makes me feel special, he makes me laugh and I am happy when I talk to him.”
“It’s not like he is spoiled for choice there…” clearly implying he was only doing it because she was the only one who would speak to him.
At this she looked at him with fury in her eyes. Her Blue eyes daggers of ice penetrating into him. For a Moment speechless at his callousness.
“Oh don’t look at me like that Pen. He can’t walk ...you don’t even know if anything else works.”
“How dare you. How dare you imply I would only ever be a conversation partner if someone had no other choice. And how dare you be so crude. And even if what you say is true...and if indeed everything works, I will be happy to be the active one and if not...well I have Always taken care of my own needs. Besides he has working arms, strong ones. And he has very nice hands as well as working head and tongue I am sure some mutually beneficial agreement could be reached.
At this Colin took a step back: “What?! God Pen, you can’t mean you…how do you even know…did he tell you? Did he ruin your innocence?”
Penelope just snorts: “Oh please compared to you he has been a perfect gentleman. He is not a Rake like you! He has always, always respected me. And you, you do not get to know where I know what from. You have proven yourself to me as an unreliable friend at worst. And a forgetful one at best. So do not dare!”
Colin turns away an takes a deep breath.
Lord Remington still listening to the exchange, began to hope. Penelope had looked at him …in that manner. She had noticed his Arms and hands. His mouth was dry when unbidden the image of her taking care of her needs entered his mind. A hope began in his chest, a hope he tried to contain and yet began to blossom.
Colin raises his Arms and speaks to the spitfire in front of him in a forcibly calm tone:
“Pen you are an innocent gently bred Lady such Things are not for your ears to hear and know…and you should aim higher than a cripple.
The words said with no obvious malice said simply as a factual statement devasted Lord Remington. And he began to despair again…he knew just knew Penelope was to good for him. However Penelope surprised him.
Penelope had had it. And she let her once friend know: “Mister Bridgerton, Lord Remington is not a cripple, he is a man. His legs just do not work. Don’t you dare say he is lesser because of that one thing. Lord Remington is a wonderful man. Stop disparaging him for this one thing he has no control over. He is more of gentleman than you could ever aspire to be!”
Colin stepped back and held a hand to his heart only now realizing something
“Oh god pen you care for him...more than you should.”
Penelope swallowed. She had only then when fighting with Colin realized the depth of her feelings. “So, what Mister Bridgerton? What of it? I do care for him, I am not ashamed of it.” She declared fervently.
Colin now trying to be gentle. “Pen, he will never offer you marriage. He can’t marry the way he is. He may not even be able to give you children.”
Penelope swallows. But continues undeterred. “I do not even know if he sees me like that. But even if he can’t give me Children, I would still have a companion and someone to care for, and someone to care for me. It would still be preferable to being a spinster and on the shelf. Which would be childless also. He is the heir…but he has cousins. Perhaps we will adopt and take over the education of one of their children. Get over whatever Notion you have in your mind about who would be perfect for me and what I want. Trust me to know my own mind. I like Lord Remington even if he does not see me the same way…until he tells me to leave him be I will continue to search him out. Because I enjoy him.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Mr. Bridgerton you have insulted me, my friend and our friendship in multiple ways. Leave me alone. I have no wish to converse with you any longer.
Colin looks angry and as if he is about to shout once more.
Lord Remington had heard enough and wheeled himself forward with his arms.
Even though he does not stand tall he gives the impression of doing so by projecting his voice strongly. “Mister Bridgerton I believe the Lady asked you to leave her be. While I cannot physically best you or enforce it, as you have pointed out my shortcoming’s multiple times, I can and will speak to your brother the viscount and relay exactly what you had talked about. Including the disrespect, you showed and the disrespectful tone you took with Miss Featherington take your leave, now. Or live with the consequences.”
His eyes flashed at him dangerously and if he could stand, he was quite sure he would have started brawling then and there in defense of his friend.
Colin nods silently and leaves towards the Ballroom, seemingly on a mission.
Lord Remington rolled himself along the path to an even more secluded Corner half hidden behind another bush gesturing for Penelope to follow.
Penelope looks at her friend blushing. “I am sorry my Lord I do not know what got into him…uhm how much …how much did you hear?”
Lord Remington grinned his adorable, crooked smile and there was something else in his eyes as well, a glint she had not perceived before: “Enough my dear Miss Featherington...enough to know you noticed my strong arms for instance." He leans Forward crooking finger asking her to come closer" which she does blushing even more.
“Please, let me assure you the Doctors say it truly is just my legs...everything else is fully functional. Including my ability to sire Children. Although I would also be most amenable to using my tongue and hands on such a lovely Lady, as you implied.”
Penelope moves up and away still blushing fiercely. But then she rallies herself and bends down again towards her friend. And after taking a deep breath and gathering her courage. “My dearest Lord, I would also be most amenable to learn, how to learn.” She swallowed and gave herself another internal shove ”To learn how to ride you until you Pop like a bottle of champagne inside me."
She withdrew slowly to watch her friend’s reaction. Her statement had made Lord Remington groan "oh miss Featherington how scandalous. How does a gently bred Lady even …"
She smiles coyly "Wallflower remember. I hear all kinds of things"
He smiles...then turns serious. "I had not dared hope ...not until I overheard...but Miss Featherington…may I …” he swallows hard. Still unsure of how he would be perceived. “May I court you? As much as I can ...and then …" he trailed of unsure how to continue.
Pen blushes once more but smiles happily “I would like that very much...you will have to ask my mother. But before we do that...I Need to tell you a secret of mine...if you do not want after... understand...just please Keep it to yourself…that’s all _I ask.”
Eloises reaction still had her fearful of his.
“Out with it Miss Featherington… I am no one to judge.”
She swallows gathering her courage once more and bent towards him “I am Lady Whistledown.”
Lord Remington’s eyes go wide, his mouth gaping, then he slowly smiled…"You , truly? You are in earnest?”
Pen just nods.
“Oh how marvelous...you are...perfect. I… oh my. You clever clever Girl. You know what I changed my mind. Marry me! Marry me now! Let’s run away to Gretna green." he says grabbing hold of her Hand and pulling her closer to him.
Penelope laughs and lets herself be pulled close. He uses his other arm to yank her on top of him. She stumbles and sits in his lap sideways but still. In his lap.
“My Lord, I am too heavy.” She protests weakly.
“Nonsense my dear!”
Then he Looks at her intensely Looking at her lips than at her eyes again. He gently caresses her face. Not guiding it just asking. She understands exactly what he is asking.
She cannot help herself and she leans in. At first their lips touch tentatively and then the kiss deepens. He hugs her to him. And the kiss was not as stormy as the one kiss she had shared with colin. It was quiet. Deep. And she felt as if she was being unmoored and anchored somewhere new. It felt like she had held her breath for a long time trying not to drown. Only to succumb to a different kind of drowning. A weight that she had not known she carried lifted from her chest. She felt released. She felt known and seen. And she felt wanted.
Unfortunately they were quite rudely interrupted. By none other than Colin Bridgerton pulling her forcefully from her …probably more than friend’s lap.
Penelope sees a surprised Anthony Bridgerton standing there not quite knowing what he walked in on. Not what he had been told to expect Penelope surmised.
Colin lets go of Penelope to walk towards Lord Remington.
“How dare you take advantage of an innocent Lady. Pen is innocent. How dare you…”
Penelope is fed up with the situation and insinuates herself between them and slaps colin…hard. Colins cheek was now imprinted very red with her handprint.
“I have had it with you. Last season you proclaim me undesirable and unmarriable. Then you ask for forgiveness. and when I let you be my friend again. You try to control my Actions and decisions. I like Lord Remington. A lot. And he just asked to court me with intent of marriage. So what! We shared a kiss in celebration. You have no right to interfere or judge. Leave me be and get out of my life! Mister Bridgerton henceforth I no longer consider us friends!”
She turns towards Anthony. “Lord Bridgerton please control your brother. I swear what happened with Lord Remington was entirely wanted, mutual and consensual!”
Anthony smiles gently and just raises his Hands. “It is fine Penelope; I can tell it was very mutual. Lord Remington is a good man. Many do not give him the chance to show it. You could do a lot worse.
"No, she could not, she deserves better!" Colin interjects.
Pen grows frustrated again. "Well not only has your declaration last season made that impossible...I actually do not care to. I want him. I want Remy. Now for god’s sake go away both of you. And let me get back to my suitor and our…. discussion.” shaking her head still in disbelief of the audacity Colin had displayed.
Anthony just smiles and takes Colin away under protest from the latter, but they are alone once more.
Penelope turns back to Lord Remington.
“Remy huh?" he smiles but there is also aching and sadness.
"Yes...uhm sorry?"
"don’t be, I like it ...but that was the behavior of a jealous man... perhaps he does not realize it...I would understand if…"
"No. No I do not feel for him. Once upon a time, yes. But when what happened, happened at the end of last year...any tender Feelings ...well I will not deny my heart broke but in the off Season... I do not care for him that way. not anymore. no more than friendship I swear. Even that is rather soured now.
"Oh good." he rubs back of his head awkwardly.
She smiles softly at him. "Why don’t we go towards my mother...and we can set the courtship in motion...perhaps even set a date for… for the rest? And perhaps you could call me Penelope from now on?”
He takes her Hand in his once more and kisses it gently.
“yes. Yes my dear Penelope. And you must call me Zachariah or Zack."
She gives him a watery smile and Swallows „Let’s go, then."
She does not take his Hand or offer to help, just goes slow and lets him propel himself at his pace. letting him choose a path best able to accommodate him once they reach the Ballroom they navigate towards her mother.
And though some might say she was settling because of who she was. Or he was settling because of who he was.
They knew better. And as they braved the Ballroom side by side. And the Dragon that was Portia Featherington. They felt warm and at home with each other. And for the first time in a Long while. Both of these differently broken People felt whole and hopeful. Looking at, and forward towards their future with joy.