Work Text:
Taehyung shifted his eyes from his laptop over his buzzing phone. He slightly rolls his eyes as he pauses the video playing on his laptop and opens the text message.
Who dares interrupt his anime time? An unknown number. Great.
010-XXXXXXX
Today 10:34AM
Taehyuuuuuuung~
Taehyung squints his eyes at the text. An unknown number texted him and this person knows him? Who could this be? Some friends playing a prank on him? Stalkers found out his number?
Either way he taps the reply button. Taehyung likes games and yes he like guessing. Only over stuff like these and not those mathematical equations on his college algebra book. He has tried it and promise, it never works.
He types in the first person who came in his mind (Ooh).
10:36AM
? jeongguk?
Not Jeonggukkie
11:02AM
Guess again
11:05AM
wheein?
Not Kookie nor Wheein
11:07AM
Nope
11:08AM
誰ですか?
girl or boy?
Not Kookie nor Wheein
11:23AM
Excuze me? Tae, you do know I don't speak your hentai kawaii language whatsoever.
Boy
Taehyung bursts out laughing. Who calls japanese language as hentai kawaii language tho? Weird af.
11:25AM
Ooh english speakeningz. jimin?
Not Kookie nor Wheein
11:30AM
HAHAHAHAHA /some emoji that taehyung cant view/
11:32AM
am I right tho?
i cant view the emoji btw. i reset my phone yesterday and i forgot to download the emoji plugin. sucks to be me.
ChimChim new #
11:32AM
Yep
11:33AM
i knew it. sup got any inquiries?
ChimChim new #
11:36AM
Nope. Just bored.
11:37AM
wth u playing gamez with ma heart
Hahahaha
Dont u have class rn?
ChimChim new #
11:41AM
I actually have
11:44AM
nd ur texting in class?
U little rebel
got a 2:30 class?
ChimChim new #
11:46AM
Sadly, yes.
And you know I’m such a bad boy.
11:47AM
oOOOooOh u bad boyy
11:49AM
wth im thinking of about other stuff
lmfao
11:51AM
ive read too many fanfictions and doujinshis for this kind of situation
ChimChim new #
11:57AM
Lmao same.
12:00NN
lets change topic before I say weirder stuffs
how about: do chickens pee
and i meant another level weird
ChimChim new #
12:04NN
Standing up? Wait do they even pee?
12:05NN
apparently i think they dont. do they even have vaginas? or cocks? //pun intended
ChimChim new #
12:06NN
They actually have genitals. Maybe their cocks are miniature?
12:10NN
do they? oh like the internal ones? well maybe... since they do poop out eggs.
ChimChim new #
12:14NN
They freaking poop out eggs???
12:14NN
u didnt know eggs come out through their buttholes? Omg
ChimChim new #
12:15NN
I actually did not know that.
12:17NN
oooh the more you know. what else do u wanna know? hahaha
ChimChim new #
12:21NN
What other trivias do you have?
12:23NN
like... that male koalas have two dicks?
weird, i know
ChimChim new #
12:23NN
Wtf! How the hell?
12:25NN
yeah and that female koalas have two mattresses
i dont know why either. i just stumbled upon it somewhere
u know me
ChimChim new #
12:28NN
So what? Are they both hanging? Are they next to each other?
Omg two mattresses for two dicks
12:30NN
i did not bother search for pictures bcoz i did not want to scare my eyes
i have a bit of mercy towards myself, the least
ChimChim new #
12:32NN
Hahahaha I don’t even want to imagine it. Let alone see it.
★
The next day Taehyung told Hoseok and Namjoon about the conversation he had with Jimin.
Their reactions are total opposites. Priceless. Hoseok's laughing his lungs out and Namjoon's stunned and staring blankly at his cup of coffee.
"So where would those dicks be?" Namjoon finally speaks up. Hoseok's laughter died down for only a few seconds before breaking into another set of more laughs and exaggerated patting of his palms on his thighs.
Taehyung shrugs and gestures his hands in a bunny ears style above his head.
"Oh gosh. What if they have it on their foreheads?" Hoseok jokingly asks. Namjoon turns to him in horror as if Hoseok just cursed his entire family descendants.
"WHAT IF..." Taehyung interrupts, eyes as wide as they could. "what if people have their dicks on their foreheads?"
Hoseok and Namjoon looks both terrified and baffled. "Walking around with your dick exposed. What the fuck Taehyung." Hoseok stated and slaps Taehyung's arms.
"What?" Taehyung protested but still snorts. Obviously amused of how the conversation has gone. "I said what if. Like seriously though. Imagine people walking around with their dicks wiggling on their foreheads and you could easily tell if they're horny af because they would look like a fucking unicorn." Taehyung adds, spitting his words like it's some sensical shits about life. And he even made an imaginary dick springing to life with his hands on his forehead for emphasis. "Majestic."
The three of them laughed their asses off. Literally for Taehyung who farted from all the laughing.
"I can never..." Namjoon starts slowly, making his breathing even. "never look at unicorns the same way again."