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James stretched his arms and groaned. Even though his teammates weren’t here right now no one and nothing could stop him from practicing Quidditch.
He felt a little bit guilty for not being able to spend the whole holidays with his family, but on the other hand he didn’t want to leave Regulus alone.
The black haired Hogwarts student had gotten into a fight with his parents again-he always did, as they deemed everything he was saying and doing awful and wrong unless they needed something from him- and this time it didn’t end to good.
Well it never did end “good” if you looked at it with common sense. But this time it didn’t even end well for their circumstances..
They cut off the contact after saying that he shouldn’t even dare to even think about coming home for the holidays. Therefore they specifically ordered Sirius to come visit them and he obeyed, just like everyone in their right mind would-not that he was in his right mind at all.
It would all go back to its normal ways nonetheless. Regulus would crawl back to his parents, by the second they would give him attention again, even when he put a lot of emphasis into his decision that he wouldn’t this time.
But the truth was, that it wasn’t Regulus decision and it wouldn’t be unless either he or his parents would be dead.
He was only a marionette, a figure in his parents games and they would always get their way, when they really wanted too.
And for James- well he didn’t want Regulus to spend his time alone, even though he had really tried to convince him that he would be fine.
James knew that he wouldn’t be.
He would just never ask for anyone to accompany him. Regulus always said it was weak to need someone, but James knew that in reality he just didn’t want to acknowledge that he was to scared to ask, that he was scared to sound just as selfish as his own parents.
While in Reality obviously both wasn’t right. It was neither selfish or weak to want company.
But explaining this to Regulus was just as easy as riding a hexed broom during a storm while being chased by a dragon-it was impossible.
He needed to learn that for himself and oh boy that would take its sweet time.
James had simply sent his parents a letter telling them about the situation and how he would prefer staying there for his “friend”-they didn’t need to know EVERYTHING-and surprise surprise: they said it would be fine, as the next holidays weren’t that far and they could always call or exchange letters.
Now that wouldn’t have been the best thing to tell the stubborn Black-Brother for obvious reasons so James told him that his parents were visiting his father’s uncle in Bulgaria and that he didn’t have enough space to house James as well-
Said great-uncle had died two years ago and didn’t stay in Bulgaria for a single second of his life, but Regulus seemed to believed it and that was the only important thing for the young Potter.
And the second largest benefit right after being able to annoy Regulus for basically the whole day was that James could practice Quidditch even during the holidays.
Well of course he couldn’t train with his usual team but a couple of younger students who had been training, had recognised him and asked him to join, which was basically a win, win. James could stay in shape and even get to know a bit about the other houses newer techniques, as they all were others were from different houses and they could learn something from someone who had more experience with Quidditch.
They were a nice little group, always up to something and their dynamic was kind of built of bullying each other-in a loving way of course.
It was kind of reminding of his own friend group and he was really looking forward to seeing them all again..Not that being alone with Regulus was bad in any way, but he just missed them all. Not that he would tell them that.
So now Potter was standing in his room, his brunette hair sticking to his forehead and his clothes reeking of sweat so badly that it was a miracle that the house else he had seen on the way back hadn’t stuffed him into pot of hot water and soap, with his clothes and gear..
James was standing with his back facing his bed, stretching his tired muscles and thinking about what Regulus was probably doing.
It was quite past curfew and James hadn’t been able to look after him since lunch, as Regulus had disappeared to study for an exam that he had after the holidays.
Since whenever he was doing that. But James didn’t question it at all, instead he was pulling out the supportive boyfriend card.
Not that he really thought questioning it could stop Reggie from studying, as Sirius brother couldn’t be stopped if he really wanted to do something, but James wouldn’t dare to take the risk.
Just as he thought about giving him a short hello, just to check that he hadn’t been eaten by either an herbology book or a depressive episode caused by said piece of literature, he felt a tap on his shoulder.
And Merlin the sound he made was close to being even unmanlier than the one Remus had made when Lily had downed half a cup of cold water down his shirt, after someone -Rumours said it was Sirius- had promised her to not gaslight her into buying him sweets or spefically chocolate for a month.
As he whipped his head with terror written all over it around he looked into the horribly amused face of Regulus Arcturus fucking Black, who was now breaking into full on laughter.
“This”, James gasped with his brown eyes still wide open,”This is absolutely not funny”
Regulus seemed to think quite the opposite, because he was laughing so much that the older brunette got the growing urge to shut his mouth with a fist.
He would never do that tho- atleast not to Regulus.
Not to get him wrong. He was happy every single time Regulus laughed and he was more than certain that he would never hear a more beautiful sound in his life.
To be more specific he once wrote Regulus one of those stupidly romantic letters in which he had perhaps said, that he was sure that no siren could ever lure him in, as even a sirens voice would be nothing compared to the sound of Regulus voice and it could never be as pure as the way he laughed.
But. And yes there was a but. But right now the reason for Regulus laughter was really, really gnawing on his pride.
Unfortunately Regulus noticed that and looked at him with those stupidly pretty eyes, that always looked like the storm of his soul was reflecting in it and like not a single ocean could be deeper than what was beneath this grey.
And to James disliking he loved those eyes with everything he had and he could probably never be mad at them.
And to top this off he looked at him with a guilty smile.
James knew that Regulus was just mocking him with that, because a Black was never really guilty. A Black was either in the right or dead.
But it still worked on James and he feared that it would never loose its effectiveness at all.
“I’m sorry Love I didn’t mean to startle you that much”, he said in a voice that was swooning with both mockery and gentleness, so that he couldn’t decipher if it was genuine or not. But that was okay, because James was rightfully doubting that he himself even knew it.
“Fuck you.”, he grumbled, but it didn’t carry the bite which he wanted it to have and he got a “Gladly”, in return.
He just rolled his eyes and shook his head. This was not a human being, this was an imposition as absolute as they come.
Regulus just grinned smugly and self satisfied before he wrapped his arms around James and nuzzled his head against the slightly taller ones neck as if he hadn’t seen him in days and wanted to absorb him.
That was one thing about Regulus Black. He was like a cat. Not just because that made him the polar opposite to his brother, but because he really behaved like one.
He was always craving affection and attention built he barely showed it, shoving most people away, getting wrapped up in his own perception of good and evil.
But if he trusted you enough-which apparently was more than obviously the case with James- he’d come to you like a stray, being all over you, following you around and taking whatever affection he could get.
Which didn’t mean he couldn’t bite the ones he loved. Not at all. When he needed space he would show this more than clearly, switching up on you just like a cat who would suddenly hiss and scratch.
But James had learned to come to terms with it, had figured not too take it to personally and love both sides as an equal part of Regulus.
He was like this because of his experiences, because of the times his trust had been broken and abused. The times he had been abandoned and left behind and even the times in which he was brought to feel like he was better than anyone in the world.
It was what made him the Regulus, who James had learned to like and then to love, the Regulus he never wanted to be without again.
He gently returned the embrace, pressing a fond kiss onto the black head of hair “How and whe-“ “Paid a second year a nice extra dollar. When you were playing Quidditch” James made a sound that was pretty much equalling “Why would I even ask” and sighed.
“You know that I really,really appreciate the effort but I need to take a bath”, he said and he already knew that this would only have an about 5% chance of success.
“Believe me I can tell..”,the other mumbled against his skin, but obviously didn’t move a single inch.
“Sooo, you’ll let me go now?“
“No“
He sighed. What did he even hope for?
“Please?“
“Mhhh..no“
James rolled his eyes and tried to push Regulus away carefully, but this stoic idiot held more power than it looked like.
“Regulus.“, he now said, with a slightly firmer voice.
“Fine“ Oh there was about to be a catch. Regulus would never give in this easily, if he hadn’t planned something beforehand.
“But“,-there it was-“Only if i can stay tonight“
James was about to ask if one his books had tried to bite his legs off while studying and was now waiting for him in his bed, but giving it a second thought, this was not quite the time. Even if he presented it as something else, this was a moment of Regulus being vulnerable and he didn’t want to risk to turn a housecat into a pissed of and resentful panther.
Sure it was past curfew, but it wasn’t treated that seriously during the holidays-otherwise James couldn’t even take his shower now. And sure Regulus wasn’t in the same house, but it wasn’t like Dumbledore himself would patrol through the rooms and drag Regulus back to the Slytherin chambers by his hair.
Not that either of them was really THAT desperate about sticking to rules anyways.
“If you insist“, he answered, the softness of his voice taking away from the mockery that his choice of words welled up.
“I do“
“I know“
James freed himself from the embrace and looked at Regulus with softened brown eyes. Regulus once said they reminded him of a deer. Dark and soft as its pelt and intelligent and gentle like the deer itself. It was a compliment that James carried deep inside his heart and would probably never forget.
The young Potter smiled like an idiot and pressed a featherlight kiss onto Regulus forehead and he was very self satisfied when he saw the soft blush tint Regulus pale face.
“I will be back in a minute okay? Please just let this room stay intact. And don’t touch any of the others stuff they will kill both of us“
“Isn’t that kinda romantic? Dying together in the shadow of anger united in eternity?“
James sighed. This idiot was killing him.“Regulus…”
“Fine”
James grabbed some fresh clothes and rushed down the dark hallways towards the nearest washing room, he didn’t waste any time on letting in the warm water and emerging himself in the soft and trusted embrace of it.
It relaxed his aching muscles and washed of the unpleasant feeling of dried down sweat.
As James looked down at the water he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to drown. Was it peaceful? Or was it a violent fight?
He always wondered about such things, not because he himself wanted them to happen to him but simply because it was a thing so abstract to him.
Death itself.
It was always so close, but it wasn’t really scaring him. He wouldn’t mourn a life which he didn’t plan on loosing to soon and he didn’t see the purpose of being scared of something that is destined by faith.
So the only thing that was left for him was too question and to wonder.
He got quite lost in the process of taking a bath, even tho he had promised Regulus to be quick, so he rushed back to the Gryffindor chambers, a warm feeling pulsing through his veins at the thought that Regulus would be there. That Regulus had literally asked to stay.
The brunette Chaser still didn’t know what to make of it and he was quite sure that Regulus was struggling with something..but on the other hand that put even more meaning into the situation and it was quite the step for Regulus to ask for company instead of hiding away from his own mind like he usually did.
When James entered the room it was dead silent and for a second he thought that the other had changed his mind and left. But when he looked at his bed he saw the sleeping figure of the Slytherin in it, laying tangled in his covers and it was like he belonged nowhere else.
James sat down next to him, the mattress giving in under hid weight and he was scared that it would wake up Regulus.
But his eyelids didn’t even flutter. He looked so peaceful like this, strands of his soft black hair falling into his face, his rosy lips slightly parted and the grey of his eyes hidden under the pale skin and his dark lashes.
James couldn’t help himself and he would have stayed like this for hours, admiring Regulus like this, because even doing nothing was enough for him to be the only one James ever wanted to look at. But to his mere disappointment his body was tired and he would need to sleep like any other human being.
The older one did his best to lay down next to him as careful as somehow possible so he wouldn’t disrupt his sleep.
His mission was semi successful as Regulus eyes did unfortunately flutter open for a second. He shifted closer to James and mumbled something so inaudible that perhaps not even the ears of a bat could proceed it.
Then he pressed a kiss onto his cheek, which’s result honestly was more luck than precision and then nuzzled against James and was out like a light in a matter of seconds.
James couldn’t help but smile as he gently tugged the blanket so that it covered the others shoulders and pressed the faint ghost of a kiss onto the dark head of hair.
He looked at the peaceful figure next to him and he wished that he could protect him at all times. It was a stupid and idealistic vision of life and he knew it would never be real, but he craved for it to be.
He wanted nothing more than to finally be the one who would make Regulus realise that love didn’t need conditions and emotional turmoil. He wanted to show him a life that was really worth it and he knew that he saw this in being together with Regulus until one day death would rip them apart.
He also knew that it wouldn’t be easy. He knew it would need space, it would need patience and it would need time.
But he was ready to give him all of that and more.
He, James Potter loved Regulus Arcturus Black and he couldn’t be more at peace with it than he was right now.
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