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Gyuvin era um estudante comum do ensino médio, com a quantidade certa de amigos, notas nem muito boas nem muito ruins, tudo para ele era mediano. Ele morava em uma cidade que não era tão boa, mas também não era horrível. Ele não sabia exatamente para que estava vivendo, nunca se apaixonou, nunca brigou com ninguém. A vida realmente tinha valor para Gyuvin?
Ele se sentia perdido, mas estava exatamente onde deveria estar. Sua história provavelmente não estaria em um livro, nem sendo contada por ele aos filhos, porque muito provavelmente... Gyuvin não os aceitaria. Ele sabia para onde as conversas dos amigos iam e onde parariam. Sabia até que ponto algo seria engraçado e quando se tornaria uma lembrança esquecível. As conversas se desenrolavam sem deixar nenhum tipo de sentimento duradouro. Gyuvin sabia onde seu dia começaria e onde terminaria, sempre a mesma coisa.
Qualquer que fosse o filme em que ele estivesse, provavelmente era um daqueles loops temporais que sempre trazem Gyuvin de volta à mesma cena, repetidamente. Algumas pessoas desejariam um dia normal em suas vidas, mas para Gyuvin era o oposto: ele queria algo que o fizesse querer viver, mesmo que só um pouquinho. Mas até agora, sua vida continuava sem emoção e sem a reviravolta que ele queria que seu filme tivesse. Era simplesmente entediante.
Gyuvin caminhava pelos corredores da escola, com uma das mãos no bolso e a outra apoiada na alça da mochila. Gyuvin se assustou quando alguém gritou seu nome.
“Gyuvin!” Um dos seus amigos aproximou-se e colocou os braços em volta dos ombros de Gyuvin.
Gyuvin piscou.
“Oi, Gunwook.” Ele sorriu gentilmente e falsamente.
"Ei! Gyuvin, você ficou sabendo da aposta?" Outro amigo se aproximou, entrelaçando o braço no de Gyuvin.
"Hao! Oi, que aposta?", disse ele, inclinando a cabeça, curioso. Eles entraram na sala de aula.
“Estamos competindo no jogo de basquete contra 3-2.” Gunwook sentou-se à sua mesa.
Gyuvin sentou-se à sua carteira, fingindo ouvir o que os amigos estavam dizendo sobre um jogo do qual ele realmente não queria participar ou falar. Mas a atenção de todos foi capturada quando o professor entrou na sala, indicando que todos deveriam ficar em silêncio.
“Tudo bem, como vocês sabem, vocês organizam grupos para limpar a sala de aula, mas dois de vocês não puderam participar, então hoje à noite vocês ficarão depois da aula para limpar a sala.”
O aviso do professor pairava sobre a sala. Gyuvin ergueu ligeiramente a cabeça, observando a sala e a reação dos colegas. Sabia que o professor estava falando dele, mas quem era a outra pessoa? Mas isso definitivamente não importava, era inevitável que ele tivesse que se comprometer com aquilo.
Gunwook levantou a mão. "Quem são os dois que ficaram de fora?", perguntou Gunwook, olhando para Gyuvin.
A professora folheou algumas anotações numa prancheta na mesa antes de responder com a delicadeza de sempre: "Kim Gyuvin e Shen Ricky."
The news that Gyuvin and Ricky would have to work together caused a subtle murmur in the room. Ricky was never exactly invisible, no one would fail to notice an elegant presence in the room, but he definitely wasn’t a boy who usually drew attention.
He spoke little, rarely joined in conversations that weren’t about schoolwork. Gyuvin couldn’t say if he had a fixed group of friends, he only saw him chatting with some students from another class.
Gyuvin couldn’t deny that he had an appearance that drew attention, and a cold aura that made him attractive and probably a lot of money in his pocket. He was definitely an enigma, it was impossible to know what was going on in his head. Gyuvin found him somewhat… curious.
Zhang Hao shot a curious look at Gyuvin. “Gyuvin with Ricky? That’s definitely unexpected.”
Gunwook leaned slightly in Gyuvin’s direction. “Have you ever exchanged a word with him? Like something not about school?”
Gyuvin blinked, trying to remember all the times he had to have a dialogue with him… and he didn’t need more than one hand to count.
“Not exactly, but I don’t see anything negative in it. Isn’t it just… cleaning the room?” Gyuvin said, returning his focus to the book he was reading.
“Alright, Mr. Perfect.” Hao crossed his arms, smiling slightly.
Gyuvin didn’t want to show it but it made him thoughtful, maybe he would see a side of Ricky that no one had ever seen and finally fill in the gaps of doubt that people had about him.
Gyuvin sighed when everyone was already leaving the room and his friends had already said goodbye to him. He was finishing packing his things and saw Ricky on the other side of the room doing the same. So he decided to get it over with once and for all.
“Hey, shall we start?” Gyuvin said, approaching Ricky’s desk.
Ricky lifted his eyes to look at Gyuvin, “damn, his eyes are… intense.” so Gyuvin looked away, because he felt like he could burn if he looked any longer.
“Mm, okay.”
Gyuvin swallowed hard. He didn’t know exactly what to expect from Ricky, but he hoped for at least a better reaction. He shook his head and tried to focus on what he was supposed to do.
“I’ll get the cloths and the bucket, you sweep?” he said, heading toward the closet at the back of the room.
Ricky shrugged, ignoring the question.
Gyuvin narrowed his eyes, but tried to ignore it. That was making him slightly irritated. He got the cleaning supplies from the closet and went back to where Ricky was, who remained leaning against the desk as if he were some model on a magazine cover.
“Are you going to just stand there watching me do everything alone or…?”
Ricky let out a sigh, stepped away from the desk, and took the broom from Gyuvin’s hand.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you do everything alone, I’m just not very… talkative.”
“That’s okay.” Gyuvin said sincerely. “I don’t like forcing conversation.”
Ricky looked up, surprised. He leaned slightly as if he were interested in Gyuvin’s features. Then nodded slightly and began sweeping the room.
“Are you always this quiet?” Gyuvin asked while wiping the desks.
Ricky looked up to glance at Gyuvin and then looked back at what he was doing. “Are you always this curious?”
Gyuvin raised an eyebrow. “Only when I’m forced to work with someone I’m not close to.”
One corner of Ricky’s mouth lifted in a discreet smile, it wasn’t ironic or mocking.
“Do you always stay late?”
The question came out casual, but not spontaneous. He just wanted to hear anything, that silence was killing Gyuvin.
“No.”
Silence again. Gyuvin nodded, even though Ricky wasn’t looking at him. He went back to scrubbing the desks dirty with pen marks, thinking about what to say next. Gyuvin didn’t know exactly what to expect from the person with him, but at least a “what about you?” could have come out of his mouth. Come on, Gyuvin isn’t the type to start conversations and when he tries it’s with this kind of person? But he was determined to get something kind out of his mouth.
“That was the first cleaning I missed.” Gyuvin added, hopeful. “I didn’t think they’d remember.”
“They never forget.” Ricky replied, without looking at him.
Gyuvin slightly frowned. The sentence was simple but felt like a big step forward.
“You missed too, right?”
“I couldn’t stay late.” Was all he said.
Gyuvin thought about asking why, but they didn’t have that kind of closeness yet. Nor courage. He just nodded, hoping that at least this time Ricky was looking. The mood wasn’t hostile, but Gyuvin couldn’t say he was comfortable there.
“You…”
Gyuvin was about to finish speaking but Ricky stared at him, not exactly angrily.
“Are you always this persistent?”
Gyuvin turned his face to him and for the first time that night, their eyes met for more than a few seconds. Ricky’s eyes were definitely a mystery to Gyuvin, they didn’t seem angry… they seemed different.
“No. I think just today.” Gyuvin smiled to himself.
Time seemed to pass quickly, they remained engaged in the cleaning. They didn’t exchange any more words. Gyuvin looked from time to time in Ricky’s direction, but the other seemed oblivious to any new interaction.
After a while, Gyuvin finished wiping down all the desks and straightened up, stretching his arms.
“Still a lot to go?” Gyuvin asked, trying to sound casual.
“Almost done.” Ricky replied, not stopping sweeping.
Gyuvin leaned against the wall, as if taking a break. The ticking of the clock above the teacher’s board now seemed louder, probably because of the silence. He looked at the white lights in the room and noticed that one of them was flickering, almost imperceptibly, but it looked weak. It was a small detail but it made Gyuvin feel dizzy.
“Was that light always like that?” He asked, more to himself than to Ricky.
Ricky lifted his head, he hadn’t noticed before. “I don’t think so.”
It was at that exact moment that the lights started flickering as if struggling and in a few seconds they all went out.
The room was plunged into sudden and dense darkness. The only thing lighting the room was the moonlight, making the place bluish, but barely visible. And then the sound of a transformer snapping echoed through the school.
“Oh, great.” Gyuvin muttered, looking around, but seeing almost nothing. “Is it everywhere?”
“Seems like it.” Ricky replied, the voice coming from a certain point to his right, but he couldn’t see.
“Do you have your phone?”
“Yes, but it’s almost dead.” said Ricky. There was a click and then a small light illuminated his face. The light cast strange shadows.
Gyuvin blinked, half blinded by the sudden brightness. “Mine’s already dead.”
“It’s not like this will help much anyway.” Ricky turned the flashlight toward the floor. “Shall we finish this or just leave it as it is?”
Gyuvin thought for a second. That whole situation felt strange, he was with a boy he didn’t know, in the dark and in deadly silence… this wasn’t in his plans. But it wasn’t something he wanted to avoid either, it felt exciting.
“You know what? Let’s finish,” he replied. “We’re already here anyway and I don’t want to come back another day.”
Ricky nodded, even though Gyuvin couldn’t really see him. He took the flashlight and passed it to his left hand and picked up the broom again with his right, resuming sweeping. Gyuvin grabbed the cloth he had left on a desk and began cleaning the windows, which was where the most light came from outside.
The dim light of Ricky’s flashlight followed him around the room. The only sounds they could hear were the sound of Gyuvin’s damp cloth on the window and the sound of the broom meeting the floor.
Gyuvin let out a slight puff and stepped away from the window, heading toward the water bucket he had left in a corner.
“Can you point here?” Gyuvin asked, crouching down to wring the cloth.
At the same instant Ricky turned the flashlight to look for where Gyuvin’s voice was coming from. Gyuvin, still half crouched, slipped slightly on the wet floor when trying to stand up. Falling slightly sideways, hitting his shoulder against the wall.
“Oh, shit!” Gyuvin muttered, curled up, not sure if he was feeling pain or embarrassment.
Ricky didn’t know if he should help him or not, but approached with the flashlight.
“Are you okay?”
Gyuvin closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Yeah, just my pride is hurt.”
Ricky tilted his head slightly, the corners of his lips lifted — that was almost — a smile.
“Be careful, you’re the one who wet the floor.”
Gyuvin rolled his eyes, he was so surprised by the almost-smile that he couldn’t think of an immediate response.
“Are you laughing at me, idiot?” He asked playfully.
“Not at all,” Ricky replied, pointing the flashlight at the bucket and then back at Gyuvin. “Want help or will your pride help you get up?” Ricky held out his hand.
Gyuvin hesitated, then reached out to him. Ricky gripped firmly and then pulled again so that Gyuvin regained his balance.
The touch was quick, but Gyuvin felt a different feeling. The touch was on his hand but brought warmth to his cheeks.
“Thanks.” Gyuvin said, using his palms to wipe his pants, still embarrassed.
“You’re welcome.”
Ricky’s phone light threatened to turn off and they looked at each other.
“If this dies, we’re screwed.”
“Why, are you afraid of the dark?” Ricky asked, in a tone Gyuvin couldn’t decipher.
“Depends, if I say yes, will you laugh?”
“Maybe.”
And for the first time, the two genuinely smiled at each other. And Gyuvin almost felt his chest explode, he never thought smiles could be something classified as beautiful, but Ricky’s smile was simply adorable.
Ricky’s flashlight flickered again, he tried pressing the on and off button for it to return to normal, but it seemed weak.
Gyuvin said nothing but went to his own desk grabbing his backpack.
“Do you want to get out of here for a bit?” Gyuvin said adjusting the strap of the backpack on his back.
Ricky looked up at him, then grabbed his own bag. “Go where? The whole city is out.”
“The rooftop. It’s close. Those stairs near the library lead there, but few people know. Almost no one goes there, and probably no one would go at night.”
“Do you usually go there?”
“I usually go during class breaks… to think, I guess.”
Ricky remained silent, trying to figure out Gyuvin’s real intention behind the invitation. But the way he suggested it seemed calm and pleasant – making him accept.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Gyuvin raised an eyebrow, remembering the first answer he got from him. “You’re using that again.”
“But it works, doesn’t it?”
Gyuvin laughed, softly. “Depends on the point of view.”
The two left the room, when they closed the door the noise echoed through the whole school, making them both laugh. Their footsteps also echoed through the school walls, the only light they had was Ricky’s phone that illuminated the classroom doors, the notices on the boards, and the lockers. Everything looked strange without light, as if it were just a ghost version of the school they frequently visited.
Gyuvin stopped in front of a discreet door next to the library. It was slightly ajar, and he pushed it gently. A flight of stairs led to another staircase. It was dark and silent, but the steps were visible.
“Are you sure this isn’t something illegal?” Ricky asked, trying to focus on the floor so he wouldn’t miss a step.
Gyuvin looked over his shoulder. “Wouldn’t that be a pretty pathetic crime?”
“Then you have a much better version of that crime? Curious.” Ricky replied, climbing the stairs almost as fast as Gyuvin.
They reached the top after a few minutes. Gyuvin pushed open a door, this time made of iron. It opened with a soft creak. The night air then hit their faces. It was colder than Gyuvin remembered.
The terrace was completely silent, nothing was working due to the power outage. Gyuvin then approached almost to the edge and sat down, observing the whole dark world around him. Ricky, on the other hand, seemed to be watching Gyuvin, trying to understand if this was safe.
“Do you really come here often?” he asked, finally sitting down next to Gyuvin.
“Yeah. The breaks annoy me because of all the shouting; here I can be alone without having to act like a social dog.”
Ricky stayed silent, looking at Gyuvin, then at the view. The breeze messed up his hair, making his image look more relaxed.
“It’s less suffocating here,” he said almost in a whisper.
Gyuvin turned his face to look at Ricky. “That’s why I like it.”
Ricky said nothing, but this time it didn’t seem like a necessity.
Silence settled between them once again, but this time it was comfortable. Something almost necessary.
“Can I be honest with you?” Gyuvin said, breaking the silence with a more serious but calm tone.
Ricky slowly turned his face, curious. “Are you going to tell me you brought me here to push me?”
Gyuvin chuckled lightly. “Maybe another day, not today.” He took a breath before continuing. “I always saw you as… a playboy?”
Ricky raised an eyebrow.
“Like, don’t get me wrong… but you have that vibe of someone who only cares about himself. Always quiet and distant. Seems like you don’t mix with anyone, like you’re above them.”
Ricky didn’t answer immediately, looking at the view, then back at Gyuvin.
“I thought things about you too.”
Gyuvin looked at him confused.
“You…” he started. “Always seemed like the type of person who has everyone in his hand. You know? Like a big friendly dog that everyone wants to stop and pet.”
Gyuvin’s eyes widened. “A dog? Seriously?”
“A Golden Retriever, maybe.”
“That’s pretty specific.” Gyuvin scoffed, shaking his head with a half smile.
“But then… I always thought you were kind of arrogant. The type who smiles at everyone but inside is always wanting them to just disappear.”
Gyuvin stayed quiet for a moment, processing what Ricky said. “Maybe… maybe you’re not completely wrong.” Gyuvin lay down on the cold ground.
Ricky brought his knees closer to himself. “Neither are you.”
The mood seemed humorous, but none of them laughed. Gyuvin could see Ricky's gaze looking at him over his shoulder, he had never felt this kind of feeling before.
"I prefer your view." Ricky said, not taking his eyes off Gyuvin even over his shoulder.
"Hm?"
"It's more... interesting"
"I prefer who you are."
Ricky was silent for a while and then lay down next to Gyuvin. It was as if only they existed in that space time, as if that moment was created for them and only, nothing and no one could change this moment. It was written to be.
"You don't know me yet."
Era verdade. O que Gyuvin sabia sobre Ricky até então? Ele só sabia que aquele garoto chamava sua atenção. Não sabia se era o tempo congelante, mas Gyuvin sentiu um frio na barriga só de ouvir a voz de Ricky, mas suas bochechas esquentaram como se o tempo estivesse quente.
"Mas eu quero sa-" Tarde demais, lábios quentes e macios roçaram os dele.
Ricky se levantou rapidamente. "Me perdoe! Eu não queria... Eu juro."
Gyuvin sentiu o corpo inteiro esquentar. Estava confuso, mas aquela sensação... Era boa. Ele sentia, sentia tudo ao seu redor.
Gyuvin se levantou atrás de Ricky. "Você não pode simplesmente me beijar e dizer que não queria."
"Gyu–" E então Gyuvin o puxou para perto.
"Quero que você saiba que estou fazendo isso exatamente porque quero ." Gyuvin viu Ricky abrir a boca para responder, mas não conseguiu esperar mais e colou seus lábios nos de Ricky.
No início, seus lábios estavam apenas juntos, mas Gyuvin não queria só isso. Ele agarrou a cintura de Ricky e o puxou para ainda mais perto (se é que isso era possível). O beijo se tornou extremamente romântico, como se estivessem esperando por isso há muito tempo. Talvez fosse essa a descarga de adrenalina que Gyuvin queria, era esse tipo de sensação que parecia certa.
Ricky também não ficou parado, abraçando Gyuvin pelo pescoço. É claro que Gyuvin já tinha beijado outras pessoas antes, mas com Ricky... Era real.
Gyuvin sentiu eletricidade por todo o corpo, como se Ricky fosse pura eletricidade. Esse tipo de sensação... Era muito bom.
Meio irônico... A energia voltou. Eles ouviram todas as luzes da rua se acendendo, mas estavam concentrados demais nos lábios um do outro para perceber.
Talvez... Só talvez Gyuvin se arrependesse de ter ficado com o garoto estranho da aula, talvez um dia — mas não hoje — Mas Ricky parecia extremamente vulnerável nas mãos de Gyuvin.
Aquele garoto foi feito para ele, e Gyuvin o teria. Porque Ricky trouxe a sensação que Gyuvin desejava, ele trouxe eletricidade ao seu corpo.