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Keigo is tired.
He’s been used to working through little to no sleep his whole life, but being with the League, being with Dabi, has put him a bit out of practice. Their latest stint of moving around was sudden and took all night, and Keigo is bad at naps, so he just kept staying up.
Now it’s evening, they’re all settled around on the couch or the floor in this apartment hanging out, and Keigo is just—he’s tired. He’s so tired. He’s sitting on the floor in hopes the discomfort will keep him up later, but even so, it’s difficult to keep his head up and his eyes open, let alone pay attention to anything going on.
“Kei? You okay?”
He startles, bites his lip so he won’t cry. Why does he feel like crying? “Y-yeah?”
“Shiggy asked you a question. You were zoned out for a minute, bud.”
“‘m not little,” Keigo protests, scrubbing at his face with one hand.
Dabi says something like, “Okay,” in that voice that means he doesn’t really believe him, and it makes Keigo want to cry because he isn’t lying this time. But he’s lied so much to everybody he’s ever known that obviously no one believes him, even Dabi.
“You look tired,” Compress comments gently. “Did you get any sleep today?”
Keigo shakes his head. It doesn’t matter, he wants them to stop asking questions. He’s too tired to deal with all the voices, he just wants Dabi.
“I think you should go to bed, Kei,” Dabi says. “You’re practically falling over.”
“I ‘on’t wanna,” Keigo mumbles, rubbing his eyes again and looking up at Dabi. He doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to be alone, he wants Dabi, why are they trying to make him leave?
Dabi clicks his tongue. “I know, dove. But you’re really sleepy, you can’t stay up.”
Keigo sits up straighter, forcing his eyes all the way open. “‘m not sleepy! ‘m fine, ‘m be good.”
“It’s not about being good, baby. No one is going to be upset if you go to bed a little bit early.”
All Keigo can hear is go away and punishment and he can’t stand it. He curls up into a ball to make it harder if Dabi tries to force him to leave. “Nooo, ‘m stayin’.”
Dabi sighs. Keigo flinches inside his ball. He’s sorry, he knows he’s not supposed to argue with his betters, he just wants to stay and he’s so tired and every part of it is upsetting.
“I’ll come with you to bed, okay?” Dabi offers. “I can stay with you.” He moves off the couch, puts his hand on Keigo’s shoulder. It is comforting. “You’ll feel better once you sleep, I promise. We’ll all still be here tomorrow, you know that.”
“Don’t wanna,” Keigo mumbles. He doesn’t even know why, because Dabi staying is—it’s really good. He shouldn't be arguing after he's been given something so good.
“Why don’t you want to go to bed?” Dabi asks, coming to crouch in front of him. “Are you worried about something?”
Keigo’s vision swims with tears. That’s such a hard question, it’s unfair. “I dunno!”
“Hey, you’re okay. It’s okay if you don’t know. A lot of feelings for a sleepy baby, huh?”
He nods miserably. “Dabi, ‘m tired.”
“I know, little bird. Here, how about you go to bed and you can get set up with Jet and anything else you want, and I’ll grab a snack and follow you in a minute. We can try to sleep.”
Keigo deflates, because he knows an order when he hears one. He’s also been promised that somebody will follow him to say goodnight a bunch of times. Not in a long time, since he stopped asking, but it’s a thing. It’s how they get him to go away. They never actually come. No one else speaks up or tells Keigo he can stay, though, so he doesn’t push his luck.
Getting up on wobbly legs, he pads down the hallway without looking back at Dabi. He hates walking around when he’s small; he feels too tall. Too big. So the sooner he can find Jet and crawl into bed, the better.
She’s still kept hidden in a box along with the rest of Keigo’s little gear. As soon as he steps into the room, he realizes he has no memory of where he threw all his stuff when they arrived that morning. Which is fine, right? Usually it's in the closet or under the bed, if there’s space.
He checks the closet first—empty, dusty—then crawls around on the floor checking under every piece of furniture, even when there’s no way the box would even fit. It’s not in the drawers of the creaky dresser or the dry-rotting desk, either. But he had to have left it here, right? He came right to this room. He wouldn’t have left it out in the open, ever.
His box isn’t where he left it. Keigo’s things aren’t here. The only things he really owns in the world, Dabi’s presents, it was right here and now-
It’s gone.
Keigo wraps one arm around his waist and chews on his thumbnail. It’s okay. It’s okay, it has to be somewhere… Unless he left it at the other safehouse or dropped it along the way or someone took it because they actually don’t like him at all or-
“Kei? You alright?”
He bursts into tears.
“Hey, hey.” Dabi’s footsteps go to the desk to set down whatever he’s carrying, and then he gently turns Keigo around and wraps him up in a hug. “Hey, little bird, why are you upset, huh?”
“Lost it,” Keigo whispers. “‘m sorry Dabi, I lost my box, I don’t ‘member—“
“Your what? Oh—oh, baby, it’s okay-“
“It’s not okay!” he wails. “‘s not, it’s my—‘s yours and I lost it!”
Dabi has to be so disappointed. It was either money or skill and time invested in getting all those things for Keigo, including new things after they had to leave some behind when they ran once and he was stupid and clumsy enough to lose them, which is why he never deserved presents in the first place. And Dabi definitely won’t get him anything ever again.
Keigo sobs harder, drowning out whatever Dabi is trying to tell him. He lost Jet. He cries until he chokes on it, gags, and Dabi pats his back to try to help him not throw up.
He feels like throwing up. He ruined everything.
“Keigo, dove, can you hear me?” Dabi asks, raising his voice over the crying. “Baby, take a breath for me, I promise it’s going to be fine if you listen for a sec.”
“I want my things, ” Keigo sobs, clutching at Dabi’s shirt. “‘m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’ mean to, I wan’ Jet—“ He hiccups softly but forces himself to quiet down before he makes Dabi any more mad. It’s not like he deserves to cry over his own mistake, anyway.
“You didn’t lose anything,” Dabi says. “No, shh, don’t shake your head, I’m telling the truth. Don’t you remember, a few days ago, you took everything out of the box and put it in different bags instead? It’s easier to carry that way.”
Hidden safely in Dabi’s chest, Keigo’s eyes dart everywhere, trying to process. He risks looking up. “I—I did?”
“Yeah, baby. I helped you. Jet’s right here, see?” Dabi starts to walk them closer to the bed.
Keigo whimpers and hides his face again. He doesn’t want to see Dabi be wrong and get mad. He doesn’t want to hope for good things. But then a familiar bit of fur touches the back of his neck, his shoulder.
“Look who it is,” Dabi encourages softly.
He snatches Jet without looking, clutching her against his chest. He’s never, ever going to let her go ever again. She’s here, real and in his hands again, and he doesn’t totally understand it but he’s not going to question it. She’s safe, she’s with Keigo, and Dabi at least won’t be as mad because Keigo didn’t lose every single thing.
“There you go,” Dabi murmurs. “Everything else is here too, I promise. Well, a couple of things are in my room, but nothing’s lost, okay?”
Keigo can’t bring himself to look up and see what Dabi’s talking about. He’s too tired and too upset.
“Pwomise?” he asks, mashed into Jet’s fur.
“Yeah, Kei, I pinky promise. Everything’s okay. Everything’s right here. And even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be mad at you, okay?”
Keigo hugs Jet tighter. He feels—so small, exhausted and fuzzy, and he genuinely can’t process that for a long moment. It’s scary. Everything feels kind of scary right now except for his cat. “No…no’ mad?”
“Not mad. Not at all.”
“N-no hits?”
Dabi makes a very quiet noise Keigo definitely doesn’t understand. “No hits, baby. I’m not going to hurt you, ever.”
Even if I’m big? Keigo wants to ask. Big and scary and mean and hurting everybody?
But it’s so many words, far too many syllables, so he just whines fretfully instead.
“Oh, dove, you’re so worn out, aren’t you?” Dabi asks. Keigo nods.
“Hurts.”
“Yeah? What hurts, bud?”
Keigo bumps his head against Dabi. “S’eepy.”
“Yeah, that happens when you’re sleepy sometimes. Going to bed should fix it right up, you know that?”
Keigo doesn’t. He doesn’t know that, he just knows that his head hurts now and he’s tired and miserable. “Reawly sleepy.”
“I know, I know. Let’s get some comfier clothes and go to bed.” Dabi pulls him over to sit on the bed, unzips Keigo’s bag and digs through it. “Which of these d’you feel like wearing tonight?”
Keigo sneaks a glance at the three shirts Dabi’s laid out and immediately bursts into a fresh round of tears. He’s so tired. He doesn’t want to—picking things is so hard. And now Dabi’s gonna be mad at him for crying and not obeying and he’s gonna be mean and-
“Put your arms up, Kei, no, let go of Jet for a sec—oh, I know, I’m terrible, but you’ll have her back really soon. See? There you go, there’s Jet. Hang onto her for me.”
Keigo just wails because he doesn’t know what else to do, can barely follow half the words Dabi’s saying. He’s being pushed and pulled in all different ways and he had to let Jet go again and everything is horrible. He’s just little. He can’t do all of this.
“‘abi,” he whines when he sort of gets a whole breath in.
“Yeah, Keigo?”
In lieu of answering, Keigo works his thumb into his mouth, other fingers still curled around Jet’s leg because he needs to have hold of her with both hands.
“Tiny bird,” Dabi coos. “It’s bedtime, I think. Yeah?”
Keigo sniffles and decides he can let go of Jet for a bit, if it's to clutch at him. “‘abi stay.”
“Shh, of course I’ll stay. Never planned on going anywhere. Let’s lay down.”
Keigo is tipped over onto his side, tucked under a soft, heavy blanket. Dabi disappears then, and he drags his head up, chirping anxiously.
“Shh, Kei, you’re alright, I’m just moving your bags off the bed and grabbing some stuff.”
It’s not alright, Dabi promised to stay and now he’s all the way across the room. Keigo shoves himself up on weak, clumsy limbs and slides out of bed, Jet tucked securely under one arm. He warbles something close to Dabi’s name, takes one step, and crumples to the floor when his knees give out.
Dabi whirls around, rushing back to him in a second.
“Hey, little bird, you’re okay. What’d you do, huh? Are you hurt?”
“Fell.” Keigo doesn’t bother with anything more, too preoccupied with grabbing Dabi’s shirt and clinging. His knees sting a little, but he doesn’t care, he’s had so much worse. “Don’ leave.”
“I’m not leaving, dove, I just had to do something. I won’t wander off anymore, how’s that?”
Tearfully Keigo nods. Dabi scoops him up and tucks him into bed again.
“Tired little birds shouldn’t go running around by themselves, yeah? Wait for me next time, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Keigo’s face scrunches up in confusion. “But—but you leav’d me.” He couldn’t get Dabi to help if Dabi was abandoning him.
Did Dabi not want him to chase after him when he left? Of course not. Keigo was just a stupid little thing and he should let Dabi go if he wanted to leave, and he should be able to wait for him to come back and help.
“-eigo, Keigo, hey, it’s okay.” Dabi’s thumbs swipe over his cheeks, clearing away tears and cradling his face. “This is just so much for you, isn’t it?”
Keigo nods hesitantly, and Dabi gives him a smile that warms him all the way to his toes.
“I know it felt like I left you and that must’ve been scary, but I promise I didn’t. I wouldn’t leave you like that.”
He doesn’t entirely believe that, but he’s far too tired for an argument, so he mumbles, “‘kay.”
“Okay. It’s definitely bedtime now, I think.”
“Mhm.” Keigo keeps clutching at Dabi as he climbs into bed, even squirming half into his lap so he can’t move away. He can feel Dabi’s chest shake under him with a laugh before something pokes at his lips. He blinks blearily and opens his mouth enough to accept the pacifier.
Dabi pets his hair. “There you go. I’ve got a book for you, okay?”
Keigo hums. He likes books. He’s too tired to see if there are pictures, or to really follow the story at all, but Dabi’s voice is always nice.
The bed is warm and safe. Keigo holds onto Dabi with one hand and Jet with the other, and after so much strife he drifts easily off to sleep.