Archive of Our Own ^beta

i learned this, at least, by my experiment:
that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

--henry david thoreau, waldon: or, life in the woods

Tetsurou sits atop the remains of what used to be an office building. The earthquake that devastated the country one year ago left lingering scars scattered throughout the city. It's remarkable how resilient humans are, however. They continue to rebuild, to move forward despite the pain and the difficulties. Already they've managed to begin construction on a new Block, and Tetsurou enjoys watching the workers, as they move back and forth below, clearing away debris with stubborn diligence.

The sun is just rising over the ocean, bathing Tetsurou's back with warm light. He stretches, reaching his arms out to the side and unfolding his giant black wings. The feathers tremble, ridding themselves of early morning dew. He'd been sitting there for quite some time. As he stands, he hears the beating of wings against wind and turns to see Hajime land neatly beside him on the rooftop.

"You're here again." Hajime doesn't seem surprised. He shrugs his shoulders, and his own black wings settle into place, folded against his back.

"Mm, yes here again," Tetsurou says, folding his hands behind his head. "How was your night?"

Hajime wrinkles his nose slightly. "That kid had another nightmare about aliens invading. It's ridiculous. He has to be at least twenty-one years old. He should know aliens don't exist."

Tetsurou grins. "There are some that would say we don't exist," he says pointedly.

Hajime rolls his eyes. "I hope you didn't spend the entire night up here."

"Of course not. I performed my duties with precision and efficiency." Tetsurou places his hand on his hip. "Ittetsu has nothing to worry about."

Hajime purses his lips. "Just be careful. With the amount of time you spend watching humans, one might think you wish to become one yourself."

Tetsurou gestures toward the construction workers. "They're fascinating, don't you think? Not even a natural disaster of this scale could break them. For all the nightmares humans have, they're strong. Resilient."

Hajime seems skeptical. "A large part of that is due to us, though. Considering we're the ones that take away their nightmares in the first place."

"We take away their nightmares, but not their fears. Those they overcome themselves," Tetsurou muses, tapping his chin.

"If you say so." Hajime stretches out his wings, and they shimmer in the golden sunlight. "Come, let's retire."

Tetsurou unfolds his wings as well and joins his companion in the sky. As they pass through the gateway to their dimension, Tetsurou glances back briefly at the men below. None of them glance up to see the dark streaks fly into a cloud, only to disappear and never come through the other side.

They are Akumu no Seishin, or Nightmare Spirits. They pass through the human world and their own as easily as stepping through a doorway. Their only purpose is to absorb human nightmares, erasing them and allowing humans a peaceful sleep. These spirits need nightmares to survive; the nightmares sustain them and help them retain physical form. It's a symbiotic relationship, mutually beneficial.

It stings, the nightmares do. It's not a pleasant job to perform. And while some complain, most are glad to be of service. They are happy with the knowledge that they're comforting their humans in some way and take pride in doing their jobs well. Each seishin is given a block or district in each city of Japan, and the humans that live in those areas are for the each seishin to watch over.

There are rules, of course. Tetsurou knows them very well.

1) Never harm a human
2) Never reveal your physical form to a human
3) Never approach a waking human
4) Never interfere with human affairs
5) Never become attached to a human in your care

Tetsurou's always struggled with that last one. Some families remain in his Block for generations. He's watched infants become children, children become adults. He's seen births, graduations, marriages, and funerals. Witnessing such bonds, such closeness, it makes him yearn for something like that for himself. But Akumu no Seishin don't marry. They cannot give birth. They never die (not so long as there are nightmares, at least).

Tetsurou wants to know what it's like to truly live, instead of merely existing.

Ittetsu stands before him, dark wings tucked in close against his body. In his hands he holds a scroll, which Tetsurou knows contains a list of the numeric designations given to the humans in his Block.

"I see the humans 13-478 and 13-684 are leaving your Block."

"Yes, sir. They're moving to America."

"Hmm, and 13-564 is dying?"

Tetsurou does his best to not flinch. He likes 13-564. Her name is Mei. She lives with three cats and dotes on them like they're her children. She's soothing to watch. He wonders who's going to take care of the poor creatures once she's gone.

"Yes, sir."

"Hm, unfortunate. Well, it doesn't matter. Apparently a refugee is being sent to Block 13 from Koutarou's block. Designation 13-731. Koutarou's informed me that this one has nightmares often, so I suggest you check on it tonight."

Curiosity piqued, Tetsurou inclines his head before making his way toward Koutarou's dwelling. He wonders if he can get any more information out of him.

Their dimension is layered on top of Earth's. But while they may occupy the same space, it's an entirely different world. Where humans placed roads and buildings, they maintained the natural ecosystem and simply integrated with it. Their houses are made of trees bent and grafted to create walls and doors. They all have wings, so moving between dwellings is simple.

He alights upon the branch directly in front of Koutarou's door and peers inside to see the seishin lying on his back, apparently asleep. His eyes are closed, hand resting on his stomach. Tetsurou contemplates making a loud noise to startle him, but he's not sure what other seishin are resting, so instead he creeps into the dwelling and sits cross-legged on the floor, waiting for Koutarou to sense his presence.

He does after a moment, opening one eye to see who it is. His face breaks into a grin then, and he sits up quickly. "Tetsu! To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Tetsurou can't help but smile back, as Koutarou's grins have always been infectious. "I wanted to ask you about the refugee that just moved into my Block. 13-731."

Koutarou rubs the back of his neck. "Eh? Did I just lose a human?"

Tetsurou sighs. "Yes, Kou, now think. Is it male or female? Neither? What are its nightmares like? Should I be worried about being stung badly?"

Koutarou's eyes light up with recognition. "Oh yeah! The kid! Well, I think he's already twenty by now. He's a refugee from the earthquake. He was staying in one of my hospitals because he had two broken legs, a broken arm, and a fractured collarbone. But he's all better now! So they're sending him to your Block, I guess. I think to live with his grandmother? His parents died in the earthquake. That's what most of his nightmares are about."

Tetsurou bites his lip. Orphans generally have the most painful dreams. Although he knows he'll be able to make things better by taking the nightmares from the kid, he's not looking forward to the sting that will accompany it.

"Okay, so orphan, male, young. Got it." He moves to stand fluidly, shaking out his wings before pausing. "Do you happen to know his name?"

Koutarou blinks. "I don't pay enough attention for that. Sorry."

Tetsurou waves him off. He figures he'll find out soon enough.

The night is always deceptively quiet. On the surface there's little noise, of course. People are asleep; traffic on the streets is light and peaceful. Sometimes there's the sound of a stray cat or dog knocking against something in an alleyway, but for the most part things are calm, almost gentle. Clouds drift smoothly across the sky to cover the moon, darkening the city.

And in people's dreams they scream.

There's always so much screaming. It's subconscious, many don't know that they're doing it. But Tetsurou knows. He can feel it. It's like a prickling sensation in his chest, drawing him toward the homes of the humans who are being tortured by their minds, by their thoughts and fears and anxieties. He slips through the walls and hovers above them. With a touch of his finger to their forehead, he's able to pull the nightmare out, absorb it into his skin.

The sting hits then, a sharp twinge like knives piercing him over and over again. It spreads from his finger up his arm, a band of black smoke visible only to him, swirling up to his shoulder before it reaches his chest. It burrows there, the black spot growing smaller until it disappears. The pain stops, and after he rests for a few minutes, he moves to the next residence to repeat the process.

The home of 13-731 is small. That makes sense, considering there's only the two of them living there. The grandmother is sleeping peacefully, so Tetsurou bypasses her room and heads straight for the second. He can feel the dark energy from outside the door, which is worrisome. He enters carefully, knowing the dangers of waking a human in the middle of an absorption.

The room holds a single futon, close to the floor. There's a bookshelf against one wall, but it's empty. A desk sits against another, but this is also empty. On the floor beside the bed is a single box full of what must be the boy's belongings. There's a PSP laying amidst a jumbled pile of games, and on top of these sits a single stuffed animal. A lion. It's cute, and Tetsurou reaches out to boop its nose with his finger, before turning to look at the boy on the futon.

He's curled on his side in a tight ball, his shoulder-length hair falling in front of his face. It's dyed blond, but poorly, his dark roots showing nearly halfway down his hair. Tetsurou can't see his expression, but from the way he's twitching, and from the prickle in his chest, Tetsurou knows that he must be in the middle of a terrible nightmare.

Stepping closer, Tetsurou reaches out to gently brush the boy's hair aside. He is young, as Koutarou described. Around twenty years old, perhaps, with a small nose and mouth. It's an interesting face with delicate features. Attractive. Tetsurou's seen plenty of attractive humans, male and female and anywhere in-between.

He reminds himself of this as he reaches down to touch his finger to the boy's forehead. As soon as he makes contact, the boy gasps, and his hand flies upward to wrap around Tetsurou's wrist.

Tetsurou freezes. This isn't right. He shouldn't be able to touch me, or even sense my presence.

The boy's hand doesn't move, but he doesn't seem to wake either. Cautiously, Tetsurou pulls back, turning his palm and sliding it down until he's holding the boy's hand instead of it holding him. The hand is warm and small in his. The boy's fingers are slender, but they're calloused. From playing a sport maybe?

Tetsurou looks down the length of the boy in front of him. From what he can tell under the blanket, the boy is thin and not very tall. Then again, Koutarou did say he was in the hospital for multiple broken bones. He probably lost weight during his stay there. Still, it's somewhat worrying, and Tetsurou hopes he can begin eating better again soon.

The boy's hand twitches in his, and Tetsurou remembers his duties. With his free hand, he presses his finger against the boy's forehead, drawing his nightmare out of him. The pain is sharper than the others, and Tetsurou can't help but wince as it travels up his arm and into his chest. The sting is worth it, though, as he watches the boy's expression smooth out, the tension in his body loosening. His hold on Tetsurou's hand does as well, and Tetsurou releases it reluctantly.

The warmth lingers on his palm, as he makes his way to the next house. He's not sure how it was possible for the boy to touch him, but it leaves him feeling energized, excited.

"Hm, I've never heard of this happening before," Ittetsu admits, scratching the side of his face, as he studies Tetsurou. "You say 13-731 grabbed you while it still slept?"

Tetsurou nods. "It felt instinctive. A reflex."

"Still, it shouldn't be possible for a human to interact physically with our kind. Perhaps this one's simply sensitive to spirit activity. That is a trait we've come across in the past few centuries. Humans that are willing to accept rumors of our existence may be more likely to sense our presence. But I've never heard of one actually touching a spirit."

"Are you going to reassign me?" Tetsurou asks, hoping for the negative.

Ittetsu shakes his head. "No, no I don't believe that'll be necessary. Just be more careful in the future. Make sure it's truly, deeply asleep before you touch it."

"Roger."

It's been three months, fifteen days, and seventeen hours since Kenma arrived at his grandmother's house in Block 13. They told him things would get easier, and for the most part it has. He's able to walk and use his arm now, at least, and his grandmother gets rations from the government so they're not starving, even though it's barely enough to live on. He's been trying to get a job, but with so many businesses destroyed in the earthquake, many others are looking for work as well. And unless you can work in construction, there aren't a lot of options open.

At least he's sleeping better, which is strange. Normally whenever he has nightmares he experiences a good bit of them before they go away. Nowadays, he barely registers that he's having one before it disappears. And there's that presence as well, that sense that someone is watching him.

"Obaasan," he says one night, watching her knit across from him in the living room. He lowers his PSP to his lap, pausing the game. He's already played it before, but he hasn't had the money to buy new ones. "Have you ever felt like someone's watching you sleep?"

His grandmother never pauses her knitting, but she does glance up at him with a curious look. "You're talking about the Akumu no Seishin," she surmises.

"Well, maybe. Okaasan told me about them when I was a kid, but they just take away nightmares. They don’t sit around . . . watching you."

"Mm, no they don't. But even if they did, you wouldn't be able to sense them. You're most likely just imagining things, child."

Kenma frowns slightly, thinking of the first night he spent here. He did sense something, a dark presence hovering over him. He doesn't remember being afraid, but he remembers reaching out and touching something, grabbing onto it tightly in the throes of his nightmare. In his mind he'd been grasping his mother's arm, trying to pull her to safety before the ground could swallow her up.

He'd felt something that night. He knows he did. But then the nightmare slipped away, and when he awoke what felt like seconds later, he was alone in his room.

But every night since then he's been feeling that same presence in his sleep. It comes, takes away his nightmares, and then when he wakes it's gone. Kenma's determined to see it for himself. His mother always told him stories about the Akumu no Seishin. They're ugly, imp-like creatures full of dark energy siphoned from the pain and fear of nightmares. Of course, no one has ever seen one before, so Kenma's not sure why people assume they're ugly.

Fear of the unknown, he supposes.

He's not afraid.

The thing is, he doesn't want his nightmares to disappear. Nearly everything he owned was destroyed in the earthquake, including every photo of his parents. His dreams are the only place where he can see them again, feel them, talk to them. Yes, it's terrifying, and yes his brain seems to find it necessary to replay their deaths over and over, but at least they're there.

If he can catch this Akumu no Seishin, maybe he can convince it to leave him alone.

He lies quietly in the dark, hovering on the edge of wakefulness and sleep. The clock on the wall ticks softly, a patient, unending rhythm that helps him stay calm despite the anxiety twisting in his stomach. This is the night. He's not sure if his plan will work, but he's ready to try.

He calls up an image in his mind. It causes a deep ache to bloom in his chest, but he clings to it. The sight of his mother's face, streaked with dirt and tears, as she hangs above the cavern in the ground. His father's gone, sucked into the hole when it was created, and Kenma clings to the pillar of his front porch, reaching for his mother as she slips further down the tilting lawn.

His heartbeat spikes, and he squeezes his eyes shut, curling his knees closer to his chest. He can hear her shouting to him, telling him to hold on and not leave that spot. But he continues to reach, inching further from his safe place, trying to get to her. Panic fills him, as he knows he won't reach her in time. There's a rustling noise above him, and Kenma feels a soft touch against his forehead.

Immediately, he jolts upright, eyes wide. There's a sound of fluttering wings, and the creature above his bed scrambles backwards, falling to the floor. Kenma peers into the darkness, but the creature has its wings shielding its body. Pushing back his blanket, Kenma slides off the futon, the floor cold beneath his bare feet. The creature is twitching slightly, but it makes no move to get away from him. Is it injured?

Crouching down, Kenma tries to peer through the feathers to see the creature's face. The wings are like a bird's with feathers such a deep black it's like looking into a void. Cautiously, he reaches forward, touching the trembling feathers with his fingertips. The creature shifts but remains covered.

"Don't."

The voice is quiet yet deep. Kenma freezes, his hand still outstretched. He bites his lip, not sure what to do now. He meant to demand that the seishin not visit him anymore, but now, with it quivering on his bedroom floor, he feels pity instead of anger.

"Are you hurt?" he asks hesitantly.

A low chuckle sounds from behind the wings, followed by a sharp intake of breath. "You tricked me. You weren't truly asleep."

"I wanted to catch you," Kenma admits.

"You shouldn't have been able to sense my presence. And now you've forced me to reveal myself."

"Not really," Kenma points out, looking at the feathers in front of him.

There's pause before the creature laughs again. "You would be frightened if you saw my form."

Kenma hums softly beneath his breath, lowering himself to sit cross-legged in front of the creature. "You didn't answer my question."

The feathers rustle as the creature sighs. "Your waking caused the connection to sever. I tried to contain the dark energy from your nightmare, but I wasn't fast enough. It exploded, wounding me."

Kenma feels a faint twinge of guilt twist his stomach. "Oh."

"I'll heal," the seishin says, its tone gentle. "Give me a moment, and I'll leave you be."

Kenma chews on his lip, glancing toward the door. The house is quiet, and Kenma isn't sure he'd be able to fall asleep anyway. Now that he's seen an actual seishin, he doesn't want to let it go. He has so many questions. Plus there's the fact that it's injured and it's his fault.

"I'll get some bandages."

He moves to stand, but one of the wings lifts slightly, brushing against his arm.

"There's no need."

Kenma looks down at the creature skeptically. "Can seishin get infections?" he asks.

After a moment of silence, the creature sighs again. "Very well. Proceed."

Fighting a self-satisfied smirk, Kenma slides open the door carefully. Peering out into the hallway, he notes his grandmother's door is closed, and her room is dark. He tip-toes down to the bathroom, rifling through the first aid supplies his grandmother keeps in a basket near the door. He grabs a roll of bandages, before grabbing a washcloth and wetting it with cold water from the bath.

He hurries back to the bedroom, afraid the creature might be gone, but it's still in the same place as before, slumped against the wall with its wings shielding its body. Kenma stands over it, holding the bandages and cloth and wondering how he's supposed to tend to the wounds if the creature won't show its full form to him.

"Open your wings."

The creature ruffles its feathers in what appears to be an affronted manner. "Haven't you heard rumors about us, kid? I don't want to frighten you."

Kenma resists the urge to roll his eyes. He nudges the wing closest to him with his foot. "I can't clean and dress your wound if you're hiding behind your wings."

"Just set the bandages on the floor and return to your bed. Trust me; you don't want to know what I look like. We feed off nightmares. We're creatures of darkness and pain and—"

"You're being stupid."

"You're being irresponsible."

"No, I'm not. I'm trying to help you."

"Which is irresponsible. Your kind isn't supposed to look upon mine. It could have unforeseen consequences."

"Ugh." Wrinkling his nose, Kenma sets the bandages on the floor along with the cloth. He moves back to his bed then, sitting on it and pulling his knees up to his chest. He grips his toes, as he watches the creature shift and then open its wings just enough for a hand to reach out and pull the supplies into its winged cage. The hand looks strong, broad, with black claws for nails, and black downy feathers sprouting from the back of its hand and covering the top of its forearm. It disappears quickly, and Kenma wonders if it's some sort of bird-hybrid. Does it have a beak too?

He hears a soft grunt, as the seishin no doubt pats its wound with the washcloth. Kenma sighs, setting his chin on his knees, as he watches the feathers rustle with the seishin's subtle movement.

"How come I can see you?" Kenma asks after a moment.

The rustling stops for a moment. "I don't know."

"Are you the same seishin that's been coming in here every night?"

"Yes."

"So you've been watching me."

" . . . Yes."

"Why?"

The seishin doesn't answer immediately. It lifts from the wall slightly, probably wrapping the bandages around its chest. Kenma frowns faintly, as the silence lingers. He grips his toes tighter.

"I don't like it," he admits then. "It makes me uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry. I won't come back if you don't wish me to."

Kenma bites his lip again, worrying on the already sore skin. He has to admit to himself that he's been rather lonely. He's had about as much success making friends as he has finding a job. Not that he particularly wants friends. He's never been good at interacting with people, which makes this easy exchange with the seishin even stranger. He doesn't feel nervous around it. In fact, he feels calmer in its presence than he has in a long time. It feels like the creature has been watching over him, as opposed to simply staring at him from the corner. And the fact that it's been taking his nightmares away as soon as they form in his mind . . .

"You've been trying to protect me, from my own dreams. That's why you linger and wait and take away my nightmares as soon as they appear."

"You're an observant one, aren't you?" The seishin sounds amused this time.

"Do you do that with everyone?"

"Sometimes. But you caught my attention in particular."

Kenma feels an involuntary shiver run down his spine. "Why?"

"The first time I came here you grabbed my wrist. I think it was instinct on your part, but you shouldn't have been able to sense me, or touch me at all. It made me curious. You seem to be more sensitive to the spirit world than most. And your face . . ."

Kenma stiffens, reaching toward his cheek automatically. "What about my face?"

The wings seem to flutter restlessly in a nervous gesture. "I like it."

Kenma feels heat rise up his neck, burning his ears and cheeks. He ducks his head, letting his hair fall forward into a shield of his own.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable again."

Kenma shakes his head. He's not sure what he feels. He's never been complimented before outside of his parents, and this is a spirit of nightmares. He's not entirely sure how he's supposed to react to a spirit finding him attractive.

He peers over the tops of his knees. "I'd return the favor, but . . ."

The seishin laughs again. "You wouldn't like my face if you saw it."

Kenma scrunches his nose. "You don't know that. You just told me nobody's ever seen you before. So how can you know what I'd think?"

"You make a good point." Again the seishin sounds amused. "Very well. If you truly wish to see my form I'll show you. But don't complain to me when you have nightmares."

"Won't you just take them away anyway?" Kenma asks, fighting a smirk.

If wings could give dirty looks, he's pretty sure he'd be on the receiving end of one right then. But the seishin rises from its spot on the floor, standing at least two meters tall. The tip of its wings brush the ceiling, as it unfurls them, and they nearly touch the walls on either side. But Kenma isn't watching the wings anymore. He's staring at the creature in front of him.

Its form is masculine: a pair of broad shoulders curves down into a lean torso that's hard with muscle. It's not wearing clothes, yet it has no genitals to cover, only smooth downy feathers between powerful thighs. Its legs are also covered with the same type of black feathers, and they cover its thighs to its jutting knees, and extend down its shins to its large feet that have three long, sharp talons in front and one in the back like a bird's. Although a thick line of skin at the front of its torso is bare (from what Kenma can see beneath the bandages that wrap around its chest), those soft feathers cover the rest of it, from its arms to its shoulders and down its sides. They most likely cover its back as well.

They also cover its neck and seem to sprout from the sides of its face. It doesn't have a beak, but the feathers atop its head are coarser, like the feathers of its wings, and are in a wild state of disarray. It does have ears, pointed, and they peek out of the feathers on either side of its head. Its mouth is full of sharp teeth, and its eyes are bright gold, nearly glowing in contrast to all the black.

Kenma wouldn't call it fearsome. Intriguing, perhaps. Fascinating. Exotic. Even beautiful, in a way. Its eyes are piercing, and Kenma finds he can't meet its gaze for long, shifting his eyes to stare at the wings instead.

"You don't seem frightened," the seishin observes, and it cocks its head to the side.

"I'm not," Kenma says truthfully. He feels his lips twitching in a faint smile. "You look kind of . . . cool."

The seishin flaps its wings absently. "Cool? I look cool?" A slow grin creeps across its face, displaying all of its sharp teeth.

That's a little unsettling, but Kenma finds himself fighting a grin in response to it.

"I mean, I guess." He shrugs, letting his eyes roam over the muscular frame of its body.

"I'll admit, I'm not sure what to do now," the seishin says, rubbing the back of its neck with its hand. A strangely human gesture.

"You could tell me your name," Kenma says as nonchalantly as he can. "Seems only fair, considering you've been lurking in my bedroom for three months without my knowledge."

The seishin laughs sheepishly. "My name is Tetsurou. May I ask yours?"

The way those eyes are looking at him, with keen interest, makes Kenma's face heat up once more, and he moves his gaze again to the side.

"Kozume. Kenma."

"Kozume Kenma . . ." Tetsurou tests it out slowly, and Kenma squirms slightly on the bed.

"So, um, I guess . . . if you're feeling better . . . you can go now." Kenma's not sure what sort of feeling he's experiencing in this moment. He feels uncomfortable, despite the fact that Tetsurou hasn't done anything. His heart is pounding just a little too fast for his liking, and he keeps his gaze fixed on the bedding beside him, as Tetsurou shifts on its feet.

"Oh. Sorry." It turns toward the wall before hesitating and looking back at Kenma with a cocked head. "Do you not want me to return?"

Kenma wraps his arms around his knees tightly. "You can if you want to, I guess."

"Thank you."

Kenma glances up, confused as to why the seishin would thank him for that. But when he does he sees nothing but an empty room.

Tetsurou is gone.

Tetsurou feels giddy. He's made contact with a human. An actual human. An adorable, real, not-at-all-frightened-of-him human. And he's been invited back. Or at least, the boy didn't seem opposed to his returning. Maybe they can become friends. Maybe he can learn more about what it means to be human. Can Akumu no Seishin experience human emotions? He's always believed that he could. He wonders what it's like to be in love like the couples he watches over seem to be. Would Kozume Kenma know? Has he ever been in love?

What a cute name. Kozume Kenma.

Kozume Kenma.

"Kozume Kenma."

"What was that?" Hajime glances over at him from his perch beside Tetsurou outside his dwelling. Tetsurou had needed a quiet spot to think and somehow landed in front of Hajime's place. His fellow seishin insisted he didn't mind, and so Tetsurou's been sitting out here for the past hour or so, waiting impatiently for the time when he can see Kozume Kenma again.

"Oh. That's the name of 13-731," he admits, glancing over at Hajime. "I just discovered it."

Hajime shakes his head. "I don't understand why you insist on learning their names. They come and go so frequently. What's the point?"

Tetsurou eyes Hajime skeptically. "You mean to tell me you don't know the name of that kid you're always complaining about?"

Hajime purses his lips. "His name is Oikawa Tooru. But I only know that because it's written on that device he keeps beside his bed. He uses it so often and so late into the night, and I'm never able to get to him until it's nearly daylight. It doesn't give me much time to take his nightmares."

"That's called a laptop," Tetsurou supplies helpfully.

Hajime gives him a withering look. "You're going to get yourself in trouble learning all these things about humans."

"I'm not growing attached," Tetsurou insists. "I'm simply . . . curious."

"Yeah, well, there's a saying that curiosity killed the cat."

"Good thing I don't resemble a cat then," Tetsurou replies with a wink.

Hajime sighs. "Just . . . be careful."

"Roger."

Kozume Kenma's awake when Tetsurou flies into his room late that night. He watches as the human's eyes rove over his form briefly, before skittering away. Still, it gives Tetsurou a sense of satisfaction that the boy still isn't scared of him, and he can't help but preen slightly.

"Like what you see?" he teases gently.

"Mm." Kenma seems distracted. He's playing with his PSP, thumbs moving quickly over the buttons.

Tilting his head, Tetsurou approaches the bed cautiously. Kenma doesn't react, but he doesn't move away either. Slowly, Tetsurou moves to sit on the bed beside him and slightly behind, so he can see the screen over Kenma's shoulder. Kenma hunches forward but doesn't tell him to back off.

"What's this?" he asks curiously.

"God Eater Burst," Kenma says absently, eyes fixed on his character. Some hair slips off his shoulder, hiding his face. Tetsurou's fingers twitch, and he resists the urge to tuck the strands behind Kenma's ear.

"What's it about?"

"You fight monsters."

"How?"

"With weapons."

Tetsurou laughs. He's not sure he's ever laughed this much before meeting Kenma. Most Akumu no Seishin take their jobs very seriously. But Kenma's bluntness, his dry sense of humor, Tetsurou finds them amusing. He finds Kenma amusing.

He likes him.

Careful. Hajime's voice echoes in his mind, but he banishes it quickly. He's just having some fun, learning more about humans and their world, sating his curiosity. He's not growing attached.

"You play these things a lot." Tetsurou glances over at the box by the futon that's full of games.

"I don't like interacting with people."

Tetsurou raises an eyebrow. "You don't seem to mind interacting with me."

Kenma's head shifts toward him slightly. "You're not people."

Tetsurou has to concede to that point. "So . . . do you like living here?"

Kenma shrugs slightly.

"What do you do during the day?"

"Don't you know?"

Tetsurou shakes his head. "I only come to this dimension during the night to perform my duties. I spend your day in my own world."

Kenma pauses his game, lowering the device to his lap. "Is it nice there? In your world?"

Now it's Tetsurou's turn to shrug. "It's . . . quiet. Lots of trees and animals. It's not exciting like it is here. There are no cars or shops or businesses. We mostly rest and sleep while we're there. It's boring. Watching humans is much more interesting."

"I doubt watching me is very interesting," Kenma says, lifting his game to begin playing again.

"I find all humans interesting," Tetsurou admits. "You're all so . . . alive."

"You're not alive?"

Tetsurou glances down at his hands, curling and uncurling his fingers slowly. "Not in the same sense. We exist only because humans have a need for us. If people stopped having nightmares . . . we'd disappear, fade away like smoke in a breeze. But other than that we never die. We don't marry and have families. We don't . . . fall in love or make friends or go to parties or graduations or reunions. We don't sit around a kotatsu table telling stories and drinking sake . . . we come, we work, we leave . . . that's pretty much it."

Kenma's paused his game again, and when he turns his head this time he does it fully, so that his eyes look out at Tetsurou's from behind his hair. They're amber, like the stone, a paler gold than Tetsurou's own but wide and deep all the same. Tetsurou finds himself transfixed by that gaze, and his heart beats faster.

It's so strange. He's actually seeing me with those eyes.

"That sounds lonely," Kenma observes quietly.

Tetsurou swallows hard. "It is," he admits.

"I don't like being lonely," Kenma murmurs, turning back to his game.

Neither do I.

These visits become a part of Tetsurou's routine. After he visits the rest of the people on his block, he flies into Kenma's room and sits on his bed. Tetsurou watches him play his games and sometimes they talk but other times they simply sit in silence, and Tetsurou finds he enjoys this too. Sometimes he has to leave if another human begins to have a nightmare, but Kenma always waits up for him.

He learns more about how the human world works with jobs and earning money. He finds out about the game of volleyball, which Kenma used to play in high school (he also learns about school and finds it incredibly interesting. He wishes he could go to school). Kenma never mentions his parents or the earthquake, and Tetsurou doesn't pry, knowing it has to be a sensitive subject. What Kenma does enjoy telling him is everything there is to know about the games he plays. Tetsurou doesn't understand everything, but he likes the way Kenma's eyes light up, his small body practically vibrating with excitement.

His favorite part of his time with Kenma, however, is the moment when he grows tired and begins to drift to sleep. He's stubborn, so he fights it, but eventually his eyes droop, and his limbs grow limp, and he settles back against his comforter and pillow, murmuring soft protests. Tetsurou pulls his blankets up over his shoulder, and that's when he takes his chance and brushes Kenma's hair away from his face.

It's such a nice face: the swoop of his nose, the smooth, round planes of his cheeks, the soft pout of his lower lip. Tetsurou would stroke his finger along them all, if he wasn't afraid of waking Kenma. He gets a strange sort of nervous fluttery feeling in his stomach whenever he thinks of it, and so he quickly takes his leave soon after Kenma falls asleep. But the image stays with him throughout the day.

He can tell Hajime is growing worried about him.

"You're spending a lot of time at 13-731's place," he says one day. "You know if you start neglecting your other humans you're going to starve."

"I'm not neglecting them," Tetsurou insists. "I pay attention and go to anyone who's having a nightmare."

Hajime grunts softly, arms crossed over his chest. "Good. Don't slip up. If you start ignoring one then you may start ignoring others. Ittetsu will take you off the block if that happens."

Tetsurou rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to start ignoring them. I can take care of them all and still spend time with Kenma."

Hajime raises an eyebrow. "So it's Kenma now."

Tetsurou bites his lip. "He said it was okay for me to call him that." He grins faintly. "He calls me 'Kuro' because my feathers are black. Isn't that cute?"

Hajime narrows his eyes. "I don't know what that is, but I don't like it. Don't throw away your existence for a human." He turns away to leave, but Tetsurou can't help but toss a snide comment at his back.

"How's Oikawa Tooru? You still going through his things?"

The feathers on the back of Hajime's neck stiffen, and he turns slightly to glare over at Tetsurou.

"I know my place, Tetsurou. You'd do well to remember yours."

Tetsurou frowns, watching Hajime fly away and not liking the tight feeling in his chest. It's painful, like when he absorbs nightmares, but he's not sure what it means.

Hajime's words stick with him though, as the days pass, and he can't help but feel like maybe he is doing something wrong by spending so much time with Kenma. He knows his duty, the rules he needs to follow. Will he start to mess up if he continues visiting Kenma? Will he end up causing trouble for his fellow seishin? He doesn't want that.

He doesn’t like the stone that sits in his stomach at the thought of doing wrong by his kind, but the only solution he can come up with makes him feel just as ill.

For the first time since they met, Kenma's asleep by the time he makes it to his one night a couple weeks later. For a moment he stands uncertainly to the side, not sure if he should wake him or not. He's not having a nightmare, and he looks peaceful, hands curled beneath his chin, knees tucked to his chest. He's not twitching or trembling, and the lines of his face are smooth.

I should let him rest . . . His chest aches, but he turns away.

As he's getting ready to pass through the wall, however, he hears a soft sound behind him.

"Kuro?"

Immediately he's beside the futon, looking down at Kenma with a faint grin. "Hey."

Kenma smiles sleepily, blinking blearily up at him. "Were you leaving?"

Tetsurou's heart stutters out of rhythm at the sight of that smile. "I . . . didn't want to disturb you."

Kenma stifles a yawn. "I started a job today. Got tired."

Tetsurou moves to sit on the edge of the bed. "A job? That's great. I know you were looking for one."

"Mm, you don't have to leave though. You . . . can stay . . ." Kenma lies back down, turning his face into his pillow. His hand reaches out then, slowly, and Tetsurou stares down at it blankly before realizing that Kenma wants him to take it. He does so carefully, shivering at the contact, at the warmth of Kenma's smaller hand in his, as it spreads up his arm.

He doesn't want to do this.

"Kenma, I-I . . . I have to tell you something."

Kenma doesn't move his head from the pillow, and Tetsurou can't tell if he's fallen back to sleep or not, but he continues, his heart in his throat.

"My fellow seishin is growing . . . concerned. About the amount of time I spend with you, I mean. Akumu no Seishin . . . we're not allowed to grow attached to humans, because if we do we might end up neglecting others and ignoring their nightmares. If we do that, then we can fade from existence. When we lose seishin, other seishin have to work in their stead, making them absorb more energy, which can be dangerous to them . . ."

Kenma lifts his head from the pillow, frowning faintly. "You're not ignoring other nightmares."

"No, I'm not. You're right. But it's a valid concern, as I've . . . grown rather fond of you."

Kenma looks away, his hair sliding forward to hide his expression. Tetsurou wishes that didn't make him as nervous as it does.

"I don't want to stop seeing you," he continues. "But I think I should . . . perhaps not visit you anymore. Not for a while, at least."

Kenma doesn't reply. Tetsurou wonders if he's angry with him. The hand in his doesn't pull away, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Finally, Kenma sighs.

"Fine."

Fine? Tetsurou bites his lip, wondering if it's not as big of a deal to Kenma as it is to him. He isn't sure how to ask that, however, and after another few seconds of silence, Kenma pulls his hand away, nestling back against the pillow.

"I'm tired."

"Right, of course," Tetsurou says, moving to stand. He hesitates, wondering if Kenma doesn't wish for him to come back at all now. Is this over? There's a sharp pain in his chest at that thought. His eyes burn at the corners, which is strange. That's never happened to them before. What does it mean?

"Kenma, I'm . . . sorry."

There's no response. Grimacing, Tetsurou flies out of the room.

Hajime finds him a couple hours later. He frowns as he approaches.

"What's that on your face?"

Tetsurou blinks, reaching toward his cheek. He swipes at it, and his fingers come away wet. He stares at the water, before tasting it. Salty.

"I think . . . they're tears."

Hajime looks alarmed. "Tears? We can produce tears?"

"Apparently . . ." Tetsurou glances down at the city below, at the construction workers moving back and forth. Repairing something broken. Is it as easy as it looks from up here?

"Tetsurou?"

"I told Kenma I couldn't see him anymore. I think it made him angry with me."

Hajime's eyes brighten with understanding, and he drops his arms to his sides. "I see. That's probably for the best."

Tetsurou sighs. "If you say so."

Hajime places his hand on Tetsurou's shoulder briefly before taking to the sky. Tetsurou glances once more at the workers before following.

How long is a while?

Apparently, it's at least five months, twelve days, and eight hours. Kenma turns twenty-one while Tetsurou is gone, not that it matters considering he never got around to explaining birthdays to him.

Kenma was angry when Tetsurou told him he couldn't visit anymore. He understood the reasoning behind the decision, but he didn't want to accept it. Tetsurou wasn't neglecting his duties, so why did he have to leave? He was Kenma's first friend since the earthquake. His only friend. He said he'd grown fond of Kenma, but if that was true, how could he leave so easily?

Yes, Kenma was angry for quite some time. But then he grew lonely, and the ache in his chest worsened, as each night passed and Tetsurou didn't appear at his bedside. Even Kenma's grandmother began to see a change in him.

"You were doing so much better," she says with a faint frown one evening at dinner. "You had this light in your eyes. Now you're back to moping. Did something happen? Is it a girl?"

Kenma can only shake his head. "I'm fine, Obaasan. Just tired."

"Are they working you too much over at that store? I'll call them up and give them a piece of my mind."

Kenma's lips twitch slightly at that. "No, it's fine."

His grandmother doesn't look convinced, but she lets it go. Kenma's glad for it, not sure he'd be able to explain everything even if she would believe him.

Some days he'll step outside during his lunch break and stare up at the sky, at the tops of the buildings around him, wondering which one Tetsurou sits on when he observes the construction workers. He told Kenma about that habit of his soon after they met. Kenma found it endearing. He found most things about Tetsurou endearing. Like the way he bit his lip when he was unsure, the way he'd sometimes lift his hand toward Kenma's face when he thought Kenma wasn't looking, before lowering it to the side, and the way he'd ask questions about simple things like they completely fascinated him, even if Kenma personally found them boring.

He often wondered what it'd feel like to run his fingers through the feathers on Tetsurou's head, or the ones on his shoulders and arms. Now he supposes he'll never know.

But the one thing he misses most of all is Tetsurou's laugh. He always looked startled when he laughed, like Kenma caught him off-guard. Kenma liked that. He liked the sound of it, the way his grin stretched across his entire face, making his eyes sparkle. He admitted to Kenma that Akumu no Seishin seldom laugh, or feel much of anything at all.

He said he liked the way Kenma made him feel things, like he was a human himself. Kenma never thought being a human was that great, but Tetsurou made it seem like Kenma was special for being who he was.

Kenma had never felt special before.

Five months, thirteen days, and eleven hours.

Kenma's nightmares have returned, and for the first time since he can remember they play to completion or until he wakes.

This shouldn't bother Kenma, considering he's the one who asked Tetsurou to stop taking his nightmares away. He never explained why, but Tetsurou promised he would, despite the odd expression on his face that Kenma couldn't read. But despite knowing Tetsurou wasn't taking them anymore, Kenma still didn't have any after spending time with the seishin each night.

It was like his presence alone was enough to keep the dark energy at bay.

But now he's gone, and Kenma wakes in the dark alone and trembling, fists clenched around his blankets.

He doesn't like this.

He wants Tetsurou back.

He shouldn't have let him leave in the first place.

After five months, fifteen days, and ten hours, Kenma devises a plan.

Unfortunately, it involves speaking with a coworker. Kenma's mostly avoided them, seeing as he finds them loud and uninteresting, and they always call him "pudding-head" because of his hair like it's some great joke and not the most obvious nickname in the world. But for this idea to work, he has to be in one of their houses overnight, so during his lunch break he approaches the one he figures will ask the least amount of questions.

"Tanaka-san, my grandmother's home is near a construction zone, and I need to study for an exam. Would it be okay if I stayed at your place tonight?"

Tanaka Ryuunosuke looks up at him in surprise. "Oh, er, well this is kind of awkward, but my bro Noya and I were gonna go out and tag some of the debris in Block 5 before they tear it all down. I'd give you my keys and let you stay anyway, but my folks hate it when I do that."

Kenma frowns faintly. He's contemplating another option, when Haiba Lev waves at him from across the room.

"Kenma-san! Kenma-san! You can stay at my place tonight!"

Kenma wrinkles his nose. "I need a quiet place to study."

"I can be quiet!" Lev shouts.

Tanaka snickers. Kenma sighs. He realizes he can't exactly be picky right now. Tanaka, Lev, and their fellow coworker Nishinoya Yuu are the only ones who also live in Block 13. And considering Noya's going to be out with Tanaka . . .

"Sure, fine," Kenma says with a sigh. "I guess."

"Awesome! Maybe we can watch a movie when you're done! I have The Lion King! It's my favorite!"

Kenma turns and leaves the break room, thinking he should probably bring some aspirin along with the fake homework.

Lev greets him at the door with a broad smile, already dressed in what appear to be pajamas. The pants have bright orange and blue stripes on them, and he's wearing a red shirt that's surprisingly loose on his long frame.

"Kenma-san! I set up the guest futon in my room. You can study in there, or in the living room!"

Kenma steps past the threshold and slips out of his shoes, murmuring a quiet "sorry for intruding." Lev leads him into the house, which is small but surprisingly well-kept. He wonders if Lev has a roommate.

The night goes better than Kenma anticipated. Lev leaves him alone to "study," making dinner in the kitchen before turning on a movie. He invites Kenma to join him, and after a while Kenma decides he might as well. He sets aside the game he brought and makes his way to the living room about halfway through The Lion King. Lev gives him a grin, as he sits on the couch beside him and pulls his knees up to his chest.

"Have you seen this before, Kenma-san?" Lev asks curiously.

Kenma nods. "You don't have to call me –san," he murmurs after a moment. "I don't really care about stuff like that."

"Oh!" Lev says, startled. "Um, okay! I'll try to remember."

Kenma settles back in the couch cushions and watches the movie, though his mind keeps drifting to Tetsurou. He wonders if the seishin's ever seen a movie. They never discussed it. He wonders how he'd react to a movie like the The Lion King. Would he cry when Mufasa dies? Would he laugh at Timon and Pumba's antics? Would his eyes light up, shining bright in the reflection of the screen, when Simba finally takes his place as king on Pride Rock?

Kenma wants to see him react to movies. He wants to show him new games, introduce him to Pokémon and Dragon Ball Z. He wants to take him to see the construction sites he often watches from above, to see the progress from the ground.

He wants to take him to the park and watch how he responds to the dogs and the birds and the children playing. He wants to take his hand in his, run his thumb over Tetsurou's feathered knuckles. He wants to bury his face in that strong chest and inhale his scent.

"Kenma-san? are you okay?" Lev's peering at him anxiously.

Kenma blinks back at him, not understanding.

"You're crying," Lev says, his hand reaching toward Kenma's face.

Kenma sits up quickly, shying away from the hand to wipe at his eyes himself. "I told you not to call me –san," is all he says, before focusing once more on the movie.

Lev watches him worriedly, before he too turns back.

That night, Kenma listens to Lev snore softly on the bed above him. He lies still and quiet, waiting and hoping (perhaps unfairly) for Lev to have a nightmare. Hours pass, and Kenma begins to feel his eyelids growing heavy. He fights against the exhaustion, determined for this plan to work. He digs his nails into his palms until they sting. He bites his knuckles until his teeth leave indents.

Finally, finally, Lev begins to whimper softly in his sleep. Kenma doesn't have to wait long until he feels Tetsurou's presence. There's a rustle of wings, and then he's there, hovering above Lev, his finger extended toward his forehead. Kenma waits, knowing from before how dangerous it is to interrupt an Akumu no Seishin at work. He hears Tetsurou's sharp intake of breath, pain from the nightmare, and it's like he can feel that same sting in his own chest.

Finally, Tetsurou pulls away. He turns toward the wall, and Kenma sits up.

"Kuro," he says softly, not wanting to wake Lev.

Tetsurou freezes immediately. Shoving back his covers, Kenma scrambles off the futon and rushes to him. Afraid he might fly off anyway, he launches himself at Tetsurou's back, wrapping his arms around his waist below his wings and clinging tightly.

"Kenma," Tetsurou gasps, his voice thick, breaking on the name.

"Don't go."

Tetsurou glances over his shoulder at Lev, before he sighs and unfurls his wings. "Hang on," he says quietly, before leaping into the air.

Kenma buries his face in the soft feathers on Tetsurou's back, feeling the rush of wind on either side of him. He tightens his grip so he doesn't fall, but it feels like only seconds later when they gently land on solid ground again. Kenma peels himself away, glancing around. They're on a rooftop overlooking a construction zone.

He took me to his place . . .

Tetsurou turns to face him, and his expression is twisted strangely. He looks exactly as he did the last time Kenma saw him, and his chest aches.

He doesn't let him speak first. He reaches out, taking Tetsurou's hand in his, holding it firmly.

"You said a while."

"Kenma," Tetsurou sounds pained. "It's only been—"

"Five months, sixteen days, I know." Kenma shakes his head. "That's too long."

Tetsurou sighs, his shoulders and wings slumping. "I thought you were angry with me."

"I was. At first. Then I just . . . missed you."

Tetsurou studies his face, and Kenma stares directly back at him. He gives Tetsurou's hand a squeeze and takes a small step closer.

"You missed me," Tetsurou repeats on a shaky sigh, watching him closely.

Kenma nods. He takes his other hand, stroking it slowly up Tetsurou's arm, ruffling the soft feathers beneath his fingertips. He moves his hand to Tetsurou's torso then, running his fingers up the line of bare skin. He feels it quiver beneath his touch and fights a smile.

"Kenma," Tetsurou's voice sounds strained now, like he's trying to protest but can't quite make it sound like one.

Kenma closes the gap between them, setting his forehead against Tetsurou's chest and closing his eyes, inhaling deeply. He smells sharp, like the burn of electricity in the air. He feels pressure against the back of his head, and long claws scrape gently against his scalp, as Tetsurou buries his fingers in Kenma's hair.

"I missed you too," he murmurs, and Kenma feels the words vibrate through him.

He stiffens then, and when Kenma tilts his head back, he sees Tetsurou's profile, as he looks off across the city. Reluctantly, Kenma steps away.

"Go," he says softly, knowing he can't keep Tetsurou here. "I'll wait for you."

Tetsurou glances back at him, biting his lip. "It might take a while."

Kenma smirks faintly. "Five months a while?"

Tetsurou blinks before laughing outright. He shakes his head with a crooked smile. "No, not five months."

"Then I can wait."

Tetsurou nods, still smiling, and takes a step back before beating his wings and lifting into the air. He's gone in a blink, and Kenma shivers in the night wind.

The sun is just rising over the horizon when Tetsurou returns. Kenma somehow managed to not fall asleep, though he's close to passing out, sitting cross-legged on the rooftop. Tetsurou crouches in front of him with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. Tonight was particularly bad for nightmares. I should take you home."

Kenma sighs. "I guess." He's disappointed, but at least Tetsurou came back for him. He lifts his arms, and Tetsurou stares at him blankly a moment before grinning sheepishly.

"Oh," he says, before wrapping his arms around Kenma and picking him up in a bridal carry.

Kenma rests his forehead against Tetsurou's neck, closing his eyes and basking in the warmth of Tetsurou's energy, as he whisks them to Kenma's grandmother's house. Kenma realizes he'll have to come up with an excuse for Lev as to why he left early and forgot all his things (including his shoes), but he decides not to worry about it now.

Tetsurou lays him gently against the bed, but when he tries to pull back, Kenma keeps him in place with his arms around his neck. Puzzled, Tetsurou hovers over him, tilting his head to the side.

"Kenma?"

Later he'll blame it on his sleep deprivation, but in the moment all Kenma can think of is his relief and happiness to see Tetsurou again. He lifts himself up by his grip around Tetsurou's neck and places a small, soft kiss against his lips.

For the second time that night, Tetsurou grows completely still. His eyes are wide with shock, as Kenma leans back.

"That . . . that was . . ."

"A kiss," Kenma confirms with a murmur, fighting a yawn, as he finally releases Tetsurou and settles back against his comforter and pillow.

"But . . . why . . . ?"

"Wanted to."

Kenma thinks he hears Tetsurou asking him something else, but the exhaustion sets in and things grow hazy. He closes his eyes and drifts to sleep.

Tetsurou is fairly certain that he's in love. He's never been in love before, so he has nothing to compare it to, but from what he's seen of human interactions he's pretty sure this is it.

He can't stop smiling whenever he thinks of Kenma, and his lips tingle sometimes whenever he remembers the kiss. His chest aches but it doesn't feel like the sharp sting from the nightmares. It feels warm and full. Like a dam about to break.

It's been only a few days since the kiss, but he still feels weightless, like he could float straight up past the clouds into the stratosphere. It's been a particularly busy time for nightmares (he thinks it has something to do with a new horror film that just released), so he hasn't had a chance to return to Kenma. Even so, he feels a fluttery sensation in his stomach at the prospect of seeing him again.

"You've been acting strangely," Hajime observes, landing gently on the branch beside him and hunching down, pulling his wings around him as a shield against the light rainfall.

"I'm in love," Tetsurou says honestly.

Hajime frowns. "You're in what?"

"Love, Hajime. Surely you know the concept. You watch your humans with more diligence than most."

Hajime tries to look offended by the jab, but he seems pleased by the compliment. "All right, let's say I do know what love is. I also know that if you're talking about 13-731 you're in for a major disappointment."

Tetsurou makes a face. "I know what you're going to say. That it's impossible for a seishin to be with a human."

Hajime shakes his head. "I'm not saying it's impossible, simply inadvisable," he says with surprising softness. "Tetsurou, there's no point to it. You can't live with him. You can't . . . lay by his side every night and wake up to him each morning. You can't have dinner with him. You can't grow old with him. You can't even have intercourse with him."

Tetsurou feels his cheeks warm. He's seen humans have intercourse before, though he always finds himself turning away. It seems like such a private and intimate thing, the way they join themselves together. He knows he can't have that with Kenma, that he can't have any of those things, but it doesn't keep him from wanting. It doesn't keep him from these feelings of love and affection.

"I can't help how I feel," he says softly, staring at the tips of his wings, watching the water drip from them to the ground far below.

"Don't do this to yourself," Hajime says with a sigh. "It'll only cause pain for the both of you."

Tetsurou glances sidelong at his companion, narrowing his eyes slightly. "You seem to know much about this topic," he says suspiciously.

Hajime purses his lips. "Don't do something you'll regret." He straightens and shakes the water from his wings before flying away.

Tetsurou watches him go, not sure why but feeling a pang of sympathy for his fellow seishin.

They've discovered the best time to spend together is in the early hours of the day, as the sun breaks over the horizon and chases away the nightmares of the city. Then, before Tetsurou must return home and Kenma gets ready for work, they sit side-by-side on the rooftop of the broken office building and watch the sunrise.

Kenma generally brings a blanket, chilled by the morning dew, and he snuggles close to Tetsurou's side, while Tetsurou wraps his wing around him to help retain heat. He's taken to holding Kenma around the waist with his arm as well, gently, mindful of his claws. The contact makes Tetsurou's skin quiver, and his stomach flip-flop nervously, but it's nice. Kenma's warm and soft, and when Tetsurou gathers the courage to rest his hand on Kenma's hip, Kenma lets him keep it there.

They talk about the things that happen while they're apart. Kenma tells him stories about his coworker's antics, which always amuses Tetsurou greatly. Kenma acts like he dislikes them, but from the way his lips twitch whenever he speaks of them, Tetsurou gets the feeling he's more fond of them than he lets on. Tetsurou talks about his nights working the block, about the different evening activities of the people he visits, and which ones seem to have more nightmares than the rest. (Kenma seems particularly interested in the lives of Mei's cats, which were split up after her death and adopted by a few different families in the block. They seem to be doing well.)

Sometimes Kenma will bring his DS or PSP onto the rooftop, and he'll play while Tetsurou watches him, carefully threading his claws through his dyed strands of his hair. At one point Kenma brings an entire laptop up onto the roof and shows Tetsurou a movie. It's animated and has lions in it. Tetsurou's riveted. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kenma watching his reactions more than the movie itself, and it fills his stomach with that pleasant feeling of warmth that he's come to associate with him.

Weeks turn into months, and yet they remain silent on the subject of the kiss. Tetsurou's not entirely sure how to bring it up. He wants to talk about it, about how they might be able move forward, what their future might look like, but he's frightened. Because he knows Hajime is right, and that technically they have no future together. And he's afraid that if he addresses that looming reality, Kenma will come to his senses and tell him it's best if he leaves.

"You missed my birthday."

Tetsurou starts, drawn out of his thoughts by the soft voice beside him. He glances down at Kenma, but Kenma's eyes are on the horizon. The sun hasn't quite risen yet, but the pale light has the clouds awash with pinks and purples, and the colors are reflected in Kenma's large eyes.

"I'm sorry?"

"I turned twenty-one while you were gone," Kenma says, and it sounds like he's pouting.

"Are birthdays a big deal to humans?" Tetsurou asks with a crooked grin. He's seen humans celebrate each other before, but he was never quite sure for what. He assumed it was for an accomplishment of some kind, though they did seem to do it at the same time each year for specific people.

"Not to me," Kenma admits. "But it would've been nice to hear you tell me happy birthday." His shoulders rise toward his ears the way they do when he's self-conscious.

Tetsurou can't help but widen his grin. He bends his head to kiss the top of Kenma's lightly. "Happy birthday. I'm sorry I missed it."

"It's okay. You won't miss the next one."

Tetsurou leans back, his stomach twisting uneasily. He thinks about birthdays, about how they signify that a human is a year older. Kenma's going to keep aging, he realizes. Though it's not exactly new information. He's always known Kenma will age while he remains the same. But he's never really sat down and thought about it.

Kenma pulls away from him, tilting his head back to look up at Tetsurou's face. "What's wrong?" he asks, perceptive as always.

Tetsurou forces another grin. "Nothing," he lies, shaking his head.

Kenma narrows his eyes. "Kuro."

Tetsurou's grin becomes more genuine at the sound of his nickname, and he reaches up to tug gently on the ends of Kenma's hair. "It's cute when you call me that."

Kenma's eyes narrow further, and his eyebrows furrow. "Tetsurou."

Tetsurou grimaces at that. "Sorry. I just . . . started thinking about how you're going to age; grow older, while I won't. You realize that we're not compatible in . . . any way."

"I don't care," Kenma says, his expression smoothing out into one Tetsurou can't read.

"But you might, later on," Tetsurou points out, sighing. "Kenma, the last thing I want to do is hold you back from living your life. A human's life is precious. You deserve to be with someone who can experience all the joys and sorrows of that life with you."

Kenma stares at him. His face remains a mask, but his eyes are hardening.

Biting his lip, Tetsurou lifts his hand, touching his fingertips to Kenma's cheek, careful of the claws. It's a grotesque hand. A monster's hand. Kenma's face looks so soft and vulnerable beside it. So breakable.

The last thing Tetsurou wants to do is break Kenma, but he doesn't know what else to do. He loves him, and therefore he can't be selfish.

"Kenma, I—"

Kenma doesn't let him finish. He leans forward quickly, nearly knocking foreheads with him, before his lips find purchase on Tetsurou's mouth. Tetsurou nearly falls over backwards in surprise. He manages to keep himself upright, however, and he moves his hand to hold the back of Kenma's head, as he returns the kiss.

It's deeper than their first one, and it lingers, as Kenma's lips slide against his. Kenma's hands move around his neck, gripping the feathers on the back of his head, and Tetsurou can't help but wrap his other arm around Kenma's waist, pulling him close against his chest. Kenma's lips part, and his teeth dig into Tetsurou's lower lip. He feels a jolt in his stomach at the sensation, and he gasps. Kenma uses this opportunity to slide his tongue inside his mouth.

It's soft and wet, but he quickly pulls back with a sharp hiss. Tetsurou winces, tasting something warm and coppery. When he opens his eyes, Kenma's hand is at his mouth, and it comes away bloody. Tetsurou realizes he must've cut his tongue on one of his fangs, and guilt slams into him hard.

"Kenma, I'm so sorry. Are you all right?"

Kenma looks down at the blood impassively before lifting his eyes to meet Tetsurou's. He doesn't look upset or like he's in pain. He simply leans forward again, kissing Tetsurou harder than before. He can't help the whimper that escapes him, as Kenma's lips move hungrily against his. Kenma opens his mouth and bites and pulls, and Tetsurou begins to realize the underlying atmosphere of desperation.

Gently, he pushes Kenma away, settling him down in his lap.

"Kenma, stop," he says quietly. "You know I can't."

"I don't care," Kenma says through gritted teeth. His hands curl into fists, and he beats them against Tetsurou's chest. "I don't care. I don't care. I don't care."

Tetsurou smiles sadly. "I want nothing more than to become one with you, to go to sleep beside you every night and wake up to you every morning, to grow old with you, to die with you. To live out an entire life with you. But I can't. I'm not human, Kenma. I exist because nightmares exist. That's all."

Kenma shakes his head vigorously. "No. You're more than that."

Tetsurou grins shakily, his chest feeling shivery and thin. "The fact that you think so makes me happier than I've ever been." He leans forward with a sigh, resting his forehead against Kenma's.

Kenma's fists relax, and he spreads his fingers against the feathers on Tetsurou's chest. "Maybe I can become a seishin too," he murmurs softly.

Tetsurou shakes his head slightly. "Even if you could, I wouldn't want you to."

Kenma leans back slowly, his eyes on his hands. "Then . . . what if you became human?" He lifts his gaze, eyes searching Tetsurou's intently.

Tetsurou tenses. "I . . . I don't know if that's possible," he admits, though his mind reels at the suggestion.

The sun has risen by now, and the warm light illuminates the side of Kenma's face, creating a warm glow across his cheek and hair. His eyes shine with that same intensity Tetsurou saw the first night they met. A shiver moves down his spine, and he clutches Kenma's hips tighter.

"Are you willing to find out?" Kenma asks then, his voice low.

Tetsurou swallows hard, nodding even before the question is complete.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

He goes to see Hajime first. Despite Akumu no Seishin not generally forming attachments, Tetsurou considers the other seishin to be the closest thing he has to a best friend. Hajime stands with his arms folded across his chest, as he listens to Tetsurou explain his decision and the reasoning behind it.

"So you're really doing this," Hajime says, once Tetsurou finishes. "You're joining them."

"I know you probably don't understand," Tetsurou says, biting his lip. "But I wanted to let you know."

Hajime sighs, his arms relaxing to rest at his sides. "If you do this you'll become mortal. You'll grow old. You'll die." He looks back at Tetsurou with concern. "I won't be able to help you."

"I'll be fine," Tetsurou assures him with a faint grin. "I know what I'm getting into. Just look at it as an adventure."

Hajime snorts softly. "One you won't come back from."

Tetsurou lifts his hand, curling it into a fist and setting it lightly against Hajime's chest. "Just look out for your Oikawa Tooru and don't worry about me."

Hajime looks down at Tetsurou's fist blankly for a moment before lifting his gaze with a frown. "I told you, he's not my—"

"Yes, yes, so you've said." Tetsurou removes his hand to wave dismissively. "Still."

He turns to leave, to find Ittetsu and make this whole thing official. Hajime steps forward, taking his arm in his hand. Tetsurou pauses, glancing back at him curiously.

"Thank you," Hajime says, and his voice sounds suspiciously gruff. "For telling me."

Tetsurou gives him a grin. "No problem."

Hajime nods brusquely and releases him, stepping back to allow Tetsurou room to take off. As he lifts into the air, Tetsurou glances back to see Hajime standing still, eyes on the ground. Tetsurou's chest twinges faintly.

I'll miss you, Hajime.

"You want . . . to become human." Ittetsu regards him with something akin to exasperation. He didn't seem surprised by the request, though perhaps somewhat aggravated.

"I've always admired humans and wished to experience a life like theirs," Tetsurou admits quietly. "I've been watching them for a really long time, Ittetsu, and . . . I've finally found one that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with."

"You barely know 13-731," Ittetsu says with a sigh.

"Eleven months, twenty-one days, and seven hours," Tetsurou corrects softly.

Ittetsu eyes him skeptically. "Excuse me?"

"That's how long I've known him. Nearly a year."

Ittetsu shakes his head. "A year is barely a blink of an eye in the vastness of space and time. You're centuries old, Tetsurou. You would give up eternity for a single human?"

Tetsurou nods. "For a chance to live and be with him, yes."

Ittetsu studies him for a long moment, dark eyes calculating. "There may be a way," he admits slowly. "There's a minor god who sometimes grants the wishes of seishin she deems worthy. I cannot say the process will be easy or that you won't lose something along the way, but . . . if this is truly what you desire then I will take you to her."

Tetsurou bows, a gesture of respect he's seen the humans do frequently. "Thank you," he says.

Ittetsu seems startled by the bow, and his feathers ruffle self-consciously. "Yes, well, I suggest we go quickly. Hopefully your absence will be filled by a new seishin before the others overwork themselves."

"Koutarou can take my block," Tetsurou suggests. "Excess energy never seems to hurt him."

"Perhaps," Ittetsu says, his lips twitching. "Now, follow me."

Kenma's anxiety has been high ever since Tetsurou brought him back to his room that morning and left for his seishin dimension. He keeps dropping things at work, to the point where his manager sends him to take a break, his expression irritated. Kenma bows quickly in apology before ducking his head and scurrying off into the break room.

He sits at the table and drops his forehead on top of it. His stomach feels like a twisted ball of wires. He wasn't able to eat breakfast that morning before he left for work. He has no idea what Tetsurou's fellow seishin will say to his request, and he isn't sure if it's even possible.

He wants to stay optimistic, but he's never heard of a spirit becoming human, so he doesn't know what to expect.

"Yo, Kenma," Nishinoya steps over to him, hands on his hips. "You okay? You seem off today. I mean, you're kind of freaky as it is, but you seem more weird than usual. Weirder? More weirder?"

Kenma raises his shoulders to his ears, thinking Noya is the last person he wants to talk to about this. None of his coworkers will understand . . .

"Hey, if something's wrong you can talk to us," Noya says then, his voice oddly serious. "We're here for you, you know?"

Kenma feels a gentle pat on his back, which is surprising. He wasn't sure Noya could do anything gently. He lifts his head, looking up at his coworker and studying the seemingly genuine concern in his eyes. It's strange. This whole time Kenma kept telling himself he had no friends other than Tetsurou. But despite their rambunctious natures and loud shenanigans, his coworkers are good people, and while he never considered it before, maybe he does have a support system with them.

"I'll consider it," Kenma allows.

Noya grins. "That's all I'm saying. You're a good kid, I can tell. And I'm a great judge of character!"

He pats Kenma on the back again, this time not as gently. "Now come on! Stop your moping and get back to work! I don't want to have to fire you." He laughs, loudly, not seeming to care about the fact that he's not in a position to fire anybody.

Kenma resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing and quickly exiting the room before he has to suffer through any more back pats.

Astonishingly Noya's words did help somewhat, and Kenma finds his anxiety soothed to a manageable level. He's able to finish his shift without breaking down, and on his way home he stops to pick up an apple pie at the corner store.

His grandmother is waiting for him in the kitchen after he steps through the door and takes off his shoes.

"So, when are you going to introduce me to this boy you've been seeing?" she asks plainly, as soon as Kenma enters the room.

Kenma slows his steps but doesn’t stop walking until he reaches the counter and sets the pie down on it.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about," his grandmother scolds. "I may be old, but I'm not completely deaf yet. I hear the two of you talking in the wee hours of the morning. I hope he hasn't been spending the night without you telling me."

Kenma feels his cheeks warm at the implication. "No, Obaasan," he assures her. "He just comes by before work."

He picks up a knife to start cutting into the pie. He can feel his grandmother's eyes observing him, fixed on the side of his face.

"Is he a nice boy?" she asks then.

Kenma nods. He's more than nice. He's good, kind, strong, brave . . .

"I'll get to meet him soon, I hope." His grandmother's speaking carefully, like she's waiting for a reveal of some kind. Does she suspect . . .? But how could she? What he and Tetsurou have isn't exactly a normal thing.

Still, Kenma can't stop himself from hoping for a time when he can bring Tetsurou around for dinner, introduce him to his grandmother, to his coworkers, spend the entire night by his side.

He wishes and hopes for this so keenly that his chest aches with a deep longing.

Please, please, please, please . . .

Kenma can't read Tetsurou's expression when he flies into his room early the next morning. He doesn't immediately lift Kenma off the bed and take him to the roof like he has been. Instead, he kneels on the floor beside the futon, his head bowed, wings slumped the same as his shoulders. Kenma's gut clenches, and he sits up slowly, panic causing his heartbeat to increase rapidly.

"Kuro?"

Tetsurou sighs and extends his hand. Kenma places his hand in his, trying to catch a glimpse of his face in the dim blue light from the window, the sun not yet risen. Tetsurou runs his thumb gently over the back of Kenma's knuckles, and the edge of his mouth lifts in a tiny half-smile.

"There is a way," he says quietly.

Kenma's breath hitches on his next inhale. He wants to celebrate, to throw his arms around Tetsurou's neck and allow happiness to fill him. But he can sense there's something more, something he isn't going to like.

"A minor god is willing to grant my wish, on account of my good work these past centuries," Tetsurou continues, his eyes following the movement of his thumb against Kenma's hand. "But there's a catch."

He lifts his head, finally meeting Kenma's gaze. He tries to smile, but his lower lip quivers and instead he bites it. Kenma reaches out to touch his face, fingertips lingering on his cheek. Tetsurou leans into his palm, sighing shakily.

"If I'm to become human, I won't be able to retain my memories from my life as a seishin. My mind will be wiped clean. I'll know how to function as a human, I'll have the basic knowledge of a young adult, but everything I've learned, everything I've seen from the start of my existence until now will be gone."

A sharp pang enters Kenma's chest, as he realizes the implications of this. It feels like someone's reached into his ribcage, wrapped cold fingers around his lungs and squeezed.

"You . . . you won't remember me," he gasps after a moment, gripping Tetsurou's hand tightly.

Tetsurou shakes his head slowly. "No," he murmurs. "I'm afraid I won't recognize you at all."

Kenma inhales deeply, letting the air out slowly in an attempt to calm down. "But you'll be human."

"Yes."

"That's what you've wanted for years."

Tetsurou gives him a pained look. "Kenma . . ."

Kenma squeezes his hand again. This isn't the end of everything. They can make this work. He can make this work. "You should do it. I want you to do it."

Tetsurou grimaces. "Kenma, I just said—"

"I know what you just said. But it doesn’t matter. This is what you want. You want a human life. You always have." Kenma moves to the edge of the bed, swinging his legs off in order to lean forward, placing his face close to Tetsurou's. He releases his hand in order to take his face in both of his. "If they place you here in Tokyo, then I'll find you."

Tetsurou's eyes widen. "Will that be possible?"

Kenma smirks faintly, tilting his head to the side. "I found you once before. I can do it again."

Tetsurou inhales slowly. "But I won't know you."

Kenma brushes his thumbs gently across Tetsurou's cheekbones. "Yeah, and it'll hurt like hell. But we'll just have to start over. We fell in love once. We can do it again."

Tetsurou tilts his head, his lips lifting into a crooked grin. "You're in love with me?"

Kenma huffs, fighting a blush. He releases Tetsurou's face and scoots back further onto the bed, pulling his legs up to his chest. "What do you think?" he asks, unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

Tetsurou rises from the ground, moving over him. Kenma has to lower his legs and lie back on his comforter in order to maintain the physical distance he put between them. Disregarding that distance, Tetsurou crawls on top of him, bracing his hands on either side of Kenma's head.

"You're in love with me," he says again, grinning wider now, displaying all his sharp teeth.

Kenma's heart beats faster, as he looks up at him. "Shut up."

"You loooooove me."

Kenma's face flushes, as Tetsurou bends down, his face moving closer to Kenma's. Kenma quickly lifts his hand to cover that face with its infuriating grin, holding him back.

"Stop."

Tetsurou pauses, and Kenma waits for a moment, his heart pounding erratically in his chest, before he slowly pulls his hand away. He feels the tickle of feathers against his neck, before Tetsurou's lips press against his pulse point, gently. Kenma swallows hard, laying his hand on Tetsurou's shoulder, burying his fingers in the feathers there, as Tetsurou kisses the spot again, before moving his lips to the line of Kenma's jaw, and then his cheek.

Kenma closes his eyes, breathing shallowly, as Tetsurou plants kiss after kiss over his face: on the tip of his nose, on each eyelid, across his forehead down to his temple and cheekbone. Kenma curls his fingers tighter into Tetsurou's shoulder, his body trembling, until finally, finally, he reaches his mouth.

Kenma arches his body into the kiss, moving the fingers of his free hand into the feathers on the back of Tetsurou's head to hold him in place. He kisses him deeply, longingly, the ache in his chest worsening.

Tetsurou breathes a quiet sigh against his lips, murmuring softly.

"I love you."

The corners of Kenma's eyes burn, but he manages to push back the tears, wrapping his lips around Tetsurou's lower one and giving it a few slow sucks. Tetsurou pushes down further against him, cocooning them with his wings. Like this, it's easy to pretend like they're the only two beings in the universe. Like they truly can become one and exist that way forever.

Kenma yearns for that. The hole in his heart his parents left when they died doesn't feel as large anymore. With Tetsurou, he doesn't feel that pain, that loneliness that haunted him for months as he recovered in the hospital. He feels whole, he feels safe, he feels like nothing, not even nightmares, can touch him.

He doesn't want to lose that. He doesn't want to lose him. Tetsurou. His Kuro.

But he knows he has to let him go.

Reluctantly, he pulls away from the kiss. Moving his hand from Tetsurou's shoulder, he places it on his chest, pushing him back slightly. Tetsurou allows himself to be moved, lifting up on his hands once more. His golden eyes search Kenma's for a moment, and the light from the rising sun begins to stream in through the window, bathing his feathers in orange and yellow. They shimmer faintly, and Kenma's stomach twists.

This'll be the last time he sees him like this.

"You're kind of . . ." Kenma hesitates, self-consciousness pushing the word back into his throat.

Tetsurou cocks his head to the side, his gaze growing curious. "Cool?" he supplies, referring to the word Kenma used to describe him the night they first met.

Kenma shakes his head, shifting his eyes to the side. "Beautiful," he murmurs, his cheeks feeling hot.

Tetsurou doesn’t say anything, and when Kenma finally turns back look at him, expecting a grin, he's taken aback by the stunned expression of disbelief that greets him.

"You . . ." Tetsurou shakes his head as though to clear it, before bending down again to kiss Kenma firmly.

Kenma takes that as a thank you and kisses him back readily.

This time when Tetsurou pulls back, he lowers himself down to rest his head on Kenma's shoulder, nuzzling his face into his neck. The feathers tickle lightly, but Kenma doesn't complain. He simply lays one arm across his back, while the other strokes through the feathers on the back of his head.

"Can you be late for work today?" Tetsurou asks quietly.

Kenma nods and continues to hold him, as the sun rises higher in the sky.

He doesn't cry when Tetsurou leaves. He kisses him one last time, long and hard, and then watches him fly from the room. He goes to work, he comes home, he plays his games, he goes to bed. He maintains his routine like nothing's changed. However, each morning he leaves earlier for work and walks past the construction site. A lot has changed over the past year. The building is nearly complete, shiny and new, gleaming in the sun.

Kenma's not entirely sure why he's chosen that spot to look for Tetsurou, but he's drawn to it like a string leading him there every day. He goes by again after work, just to see. Sometimes Lev will join him, babbling on about stuff that happened that day at the store. Kenma doesn't mind the noise, not really; it helps distract him from his thoughts.

He starts inviting him over to play video games too, to that same end. Lev's enthusiasm for the games and for spending time with Kenma in general is nice. Kenma doesn't feel the same loneliness from before threatening to consume him, so he's grateful for the company.

After a few months they get a new coworker at the store: a short young man named Yaku Morisuke. Tanaka makes the observation that their manager seems to like hiring short people (which Lev finds hilarious; the new guy doesn't appreciate it as much). Kenma finds it somewhat funny, but he's more interested in the fact that Yaku's a refugee like himself, moved from Block 5, same as Kenma.

"They're doing a lot of great restoration work there," Yaku says, as they walk home together one day. "But they had to tear down my building because the foundation was cracked. So I moved here for the time-being."

"Alone?" Kenma asks, wondering if he should offer to have Yaku over to play video games to help his loneliness too.

"Yes, well, sort of." He scratches the back of his neck. "I've got a roommate, but he just moved here himself. I didn't know him before now. I think he's checking out jobs in construction. He really likes that new building they're putting up."

Yaku glances ahead, and his eyebrows lift. "Oh, hey, there he is." He points toward the construction barricade they're approaching that surrounds the perimeter of the work area. A tall man, perhaps in his early to mid twenties, stands talking to one of the workers. He's wearing a black leather jacket and dark jeans. One hand is in his pocket, while the other gestures absently as he talks. His hair is a wild bed-head, sticking up in several directions.

Kenma stares at it, his stomach shifting uneasily. Something about the man seems familiar, but he can't quite place it. It's difficult when he can't see his face.

"His hair's always like that," Yaku explains, thinking Kenma must be wondering about it, considering he's still staring. "He smashes his pillows against both sides of his face. He says it's to drown out the screams. I think he has nightmares."

Kenma slows to a stop. Yaku walks on a couple paces before realizing. He turns back to Kenma with a quizzical look.

"Kenma?"

Kenma ignores him. He rushes forward, faster than he's ever moved in his life, and grabs the jacket sleeve of the man, tugging on it. Is it him? Can it be him?

The man turns, looking down at Kenma in surprise. His hair covers half his face, but the eye Kenma can see is a deep gold. He knows that eye. The face looks different sans feathers, but he knows it as sure as he knows his own. It's him.

It's Tetsurou.

"Can I help you?" Tetsurou asks, blinking down at Kenma expectantly.

Kenma feels like someone punched him in the chest. He wheezes softly, eyes still fixed on Tetsurou's face. He knew it'd be difficult seeing Tetsurou again; he thought he'd prepared himself for it. But seeing those eyes looking down at him without any recognition hurts like a knife twisting deep into his heart.

Yaku comes up beside Kenma, looking between the two with perplexity. "Kuroo, this is my coworker, Kozume Kenma. Kenma, this is—"

"Kuro." It slips out before Kenma can stop it.

Tetsurou grins crookedly, and Kenma's chest aches. "Close enough," he says, bowing slightly before extending his hand. "Kuroo Tetsurou. It's nice to meet you."

Kenma shakes his hand limply, still unable to really speak. Tetsurou glances sidelong at Yaku, no doubt wondering if Kenma always acts this strangely. Kenma feels sick, and he can't bear the sight of him any longer. Without a word, he turns and takes off toward home. He hears Yaku call after him, but he ignores him.

He's not sure what he expected. Maybe he thought it'd be easier than this. That all it would take was a look and Tetsurou would know him.

Obviously he was wrong.

He gets to his grandmother's house and goes immediately to his room, flinging himself on his futon and burying his face in his pillow. It's difficult enough to breathe without practically suffocating himself though, so he turns on his side after a moment, curling his knees to his chest.

A light knock sounds at the door, and his grandmother slides it open, peeking inside. "What's going on, child? what happened?" She steps into his room, moving to take a seat at the foot of his bed.

Kenma shakes his head, not sure how to explain and afraid that if he speaks he'll start crying.

"Is this about that boy?" his grandmother asks gently.

Kenma nods.

"Hmm, I did notice he stopped coming around. Did the two of you fight?"

Kenma shakes his head. "He went away," he mutters then, staring down at the comforter beneath him. He runs his finger absently along a seam. "We said it wouldn't be forever but . . ."

His grandmother sighs softly. "People come and go in our lives. It's a difficult pill to swallow, but that's a part of life. But I wouldn't give up hope just yet. Reunion may still come. And you can either wait for it to happen, or you can go get it for yourself." She looks down at him contemplatively. "Did he go far?"

Kenma hesitates, before shaking his head again.

"Well, then I'd say, if he's truly someone you want to have in your life, you should go catch him. Don't hold him too tightly, but hold him steady, tell him how you feel. You'll figure things out." She pats his leg absently.

Kenma's not sure it'll be that easy, but when he thinks about the way Tetsurou knelt beside his bed that morning, his eyes full of pain at the thought of forgetting Kenma, and then full of hope when Kenma promised he'd find him again, he knows he can't give up.

Tetsurou thinks he's adjusting to his new life in Tokyo well enough. It's a lot different from the country hills he hails from, but the bustle and busyness of the city excites him. There seems to be something new on every corner, and the skyscrapers are incredible. The Tokyo Tower especially caught his eye. Such incredible ingenuity coming from the minds of one or two people. Someone had a thought and that thought became reality through hard work and dedication.

It's remarkable.

He spoke with a construction worker about how he might go about getting a job with that company, but the man told him that they weren't hiring for that zone. It's disappointing, but Tetsurou tells himself that one day he'll be in charge of creating something as amazing as the Tokyo Tower.

In the meantime, Yaku tells him about the coffee shop across from his own store that's looking for baristas. Tetsurou's never worked anything more complicated than a drip coffee maker, but he puts in his application anyway, figuring it wouldn't hurt to try. He can't keep relying on Yaku to pay all the bills, that's for sure.

Surprisingly, they call him in for an interview. He turns on his best country-boy charm and gets hired almost immediately. Yaku tells him his self-satisfied smirk is annoying, but Tetsurou can't help but be pleased with himself. He's managing himself just fine out here in the city; he's sure everyone back home is worrying for nothing.

He doesn't like thinking about home too much. It's strange, because he can't quite remember anything about it. He knows there were a lot of trees, and his best friend was a boy with spiky hair and a perpetual scowl. When he admitted to Yaku that his memory of everything about his life before he came to Tokyo was really hazy, Yaku suggested that he might've been in an accident that caused brain damage severe enough to wipe his memory.

Tetsurou looked it up himself, and he has to admit that it makes sense. It's somewhat unnerving, however, going around not entirely sure of who he is or where he comes from. He's not even positive if he has parents or not. Nobody's tried to contact him at least. Maybe he doesn't have anyone back home worrying about him. It's a disquieting thought.

At night it's particularly difficult, because instead of dreams all he encounters when he closes his eyes is darkness and what sounds like hundreds of people crying out in pain. A memory his time at a hospital, perhaps? He doesn't know. He tries not to dwell on it.

He manages to not completely fail his first day on his job. He's still on probation and in training, so he pays attention carefully to everything the other barista shows him. His coworker is a young man around his age, with silvery-blond hair and a refreshing smile. He's nice but strict, and Tetsurou's sides ache from all the "good job" punches he's already received throughout the morning.

Around noon he takes his break, stepping outside to get some fresh air. Across the street is Yaku's store. It seems to be a sort of general store, the type that sells anything and everything. Tetsurou wonders if they have noise-cancelling headphones. He's heard about them. Maybe if he wears them to sleep that'll help.

He crosses the street and enters the store. Immediately he's greeted by a giant employee, nearly two meters tall, who grins at him excitedly like he's the first costumer they've seen all day.

"Hi! Hello! Welcome! My name is Haiba Lev! Let me know if you need help finding anything!"

Tetsurou carefully steps around him. "Right, thanks," he says with a brief smile, quickly retreating toward the nearest aisle. As he does, he hears another employee call out to his coworker.

"Oy! Kenma! Stop playing your game at the counter."

Tetsurou's steps slow, and he tilts his head curiously. Kenma. He knows that name. How does he know that name? He peers out from behind the aisle to the front cashier, where a young man is seated hunched over a PSP, elbows on the counter. He's wearing a jacket with a hood that's drawn over his head, but Tetsurou can see wisps of dyed blonde hair framing his face.

Oh. Right. Kenma. That's Yaku's coworker that I met the other day.

That encounter had been strange. The kid looked like he'd seen a ghost as he stared up at Tetsurou, and he'd run away as soon as Tetsurou introduced himself. Tetsurou still has no idea of what that had been about.

"Oy! Kenma!" The employee who'd spoken before, a bald guy with an average build, waves his hand in front of Kenma's face. "Are you listening to me? You can't play that here."

"I'm on break." Kenma's voice is soft, barely audible, but Tetsurou feels as though someone's dropped a bucket of ice over his insides. He's heard that voice before too, and not just from when he spoke briefly at the construction site.

"Yeah, okay, but what are people going to think if they come in here and see you playing that?"

"That I'm on break?"

"Ugh, I give up." The bald employee throws his hands up into the air. He turns to see Tetsurou watching him and gestures helplessly to Kenma. "This guy. I swear, you can't intimidate him or get him to do anything."

Tetsurou isn't sure what to say to that, but it turns out he doesn't have to say anything, as the employee huffs and walks away, presumably to get a manager or something. Tetsurou approaches the counter, looking down at the PSP in Kenma's hands. He's playing some sort of fighting game, but Tetsurou doesn't recognize it.

"What's that?"

"God Eater Burst," Kenma says absently.

"What's it about?"

"You fight monsters."

Tetsurou tilts his head, curiosity piqued further. "How?"

"With weapons."

Tetsurou laughs, and Kenma jolts in his seat. He pauses the game, lifting his head to look up at him with wide gold eyes. Tetsurou again feels that strange twinge in his stomach, a tightening of some kind, as ice flows through his veins. His eyes travel over Kenma's face, studying the swoop of his nose, the pout of his lower lip, the smooth planes of his round cheeks.

It's a nice face, and he can't shake the feeling that he knows it.

"Have we met before?" Tetsurou asks, before he can think better of it.

Kenma's lips twist in what might be a smirk, and Tetsurou realizes the stupidity of his question.

"Right, no, I mean, I don't mean back at the construction site. I mean . . . I feel like I know you."

Kenma stares at him, his expression a mask, and Tetsurou rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Ah, that probably sounds crazy. Sorry. I just . . . I think I was in an accident of some kind and hit my head pretty badly. I can't really remember stuff from before I moved here. But you seem . . . really familiar."

Kenma abruptly stands, shoving his PSP into his jacket pocket. He walks around the counter, heading for the door. Tetsurou watches him go, completely confused and wondering, again, if he said the wrong thing.

But then Kenma stops and glances back at him. "I can explain everything," he says, his face unchanging, but his eyes stare at Tetsurou with such intensity, he feels goosebumps prickle up his arms. "It's not going to make much sense, and you probably won't believe me, but . . . if you're willing to listen I'll tell you how you know me."

Tetsurou finds himself walking toward Kenma before he knows what he's going to say.

"Where are you taking me?" he asks finally.

"Back to the construction site." Kenma replies, pushing open the door. "That's where it starts."

Tetsurou feels somewhat dazed, but he follows Kenma out into the sunlight.

"Where what starts?"

Kenma pushes back his hood and tilts his head back. His hair falls from around his face, revealing his large eyes to their full effect. His lips twitch upwards in a tiny smile, and Tetsurou finds his heartbeat quickening in response.

"Our story."