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[RUSSIA]
Hello there! I am currently surrounded by men.
Oh. That sounds horrendous. It makes it sound as if I'm going to be ██████████. Oh dear. I'll edit that out. Too vulgar.
The original statement was meant in a life-threatening manner. Well, I'm here, and I'm in a bit of a pickle right now. Second Natalyevichi keeps finding himself in trouble and now he's thrown himself into the sea! God. What the Hell is the rat up to, honestly? I mean. I mean I know, but I feel like you don't. Maybe. I don't know who you, the listener, are, so.
Also, I guess it's not just men in a gendered way, but I'm more referencing men as in mankind. You know.
... doesn't matter. With that put out of the way, back with Russian Federation, Moscow, and this isn't exactly just a homogenous group after me. There's two, actually. Well, one, the other one is like on a side-quest of sorts, so, that one group is actually the ones which are surrounding me. For sure, they're aiming on containing me here in this rooftop... which isn't a good containment method because I can just. Fly. But still.
Thing is, I can't stay up here for too long. So, obviously I have to bail myself out, you know. Which is now harder to do because there's this situation I'm in in where I am currently surrounded by men. Not the best outcome when my original reason for being here is just to watch something fun going down. Oh well.
Thankfully, (huff) I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I prepared the flag of Russia as a direct anticipation for this. And if any one of you ask what the Hell I'm going to do with it, no, I am not going to do weird things to the flag. Well, I mean, I did kiss the flag one time, but that's normal, I feel.
I'm simply going to jump into the flag and warp myself somewhere else. It shouldn't be too hard, honestly. What— what do you mean "how do I know"? Luise, I swear you were there when I tried it out first time. Uhm. When? Oh, you know, that one time I buried my head in the flag a bit too long? What? That was the first time I figured out I could do that. Oh, don't blame me for that, I wasn't specific on my words. I can twist them whenever. No one can fault me for your own misunderstanding.
You just need to dehumanise yourself to realise your own potential, you know?
No? Wow, you surely don't want to try new things. Are you conservative or progressive? Oh, how idiotic of myself, you're obviously conservative. Shut your mouth, I can send you to The Afterlife. Exactly. Be grateful I'm weighing down your responsibility as the one who still represents the Teutonic Order even after death. Must be harrowing when you figured that out.
Anyway. I can hear those men behind the door, and well, that's not too good. What's good is that there's a few hooks on the ledge there. And I'm going to hook the flag there. Would be funny to have a flag of Russia in the middle of the United States of America. Not the flag being the important part, but the fact that I'm the one hanging the flag here.
(Sound of footfalls) Okay, I just hung the flag on the edge somewhere. Those men are looking at me as if I'm crazy. They wouldn't figure out what I'm doing, lol... what? So you're saying I can't say lol? It's a perfectly nice acronym in my opinion. I know I'm not laughing but when was the last time you laughed when you typed lol? Yeah, never, exactly, because you can't figure phones out, Luise.
Well, now that the flag is ready, and I can hear the men banging down the door with something, (crash) oh, they broke it down already. I'm surely not going to bother communicating with them. Too much work, honestly. (Unintelligible yelling) Yada, yada, yada. I'm sure they wouldn't expect this move from me.
Fuck you mean "what am I gonna do"? I thought I told you already. Whatever, you're coming with me. Don't whine about me grabbing you, you grabbed me on other places I don't like. This is just your arm. Yes I know you also just grabbed my arm, but you're forgetting the fact that I don't like being touched in general. Shut up.
Oh, time to tactically retreat. Give me a moment to continue my speech, listener.
(Pause, followed by the sound of yelling, wind howling, heavy breathing, and wheezing)
Uhm, pardon for the abrupt reaction. This is actually my first experience going into the flag rather than just looking into the realm inside it. And clearly Luise's too, I'm more surprised she can act disoriented as a ghost, even those expressions show up on her helmet. She clearly didn't like that. Ugh, it felt as if I was getting thrown into oblivion, I couldn't control my direction physically.
Where are we now, you might ask? I thought about the kremlin, so hopefully we're there. And we are. Shut up Luise I know we're on top of the kremlin. We got chucked outside of the flag in such an unsightly manner I think my reputation lowered a bit. This is not good. I'll hop down in a moment. What? Too risky? I'm sure it's normal to see some lanky albino giant fall from the kremlin's roof in daybreak.
(Sound of an object cluttering down) Okay, we're down now. I think it's a bit cheating for you, Luise, you can literally just float down. Uh huh, sure. Whatever you say. Time to tactically retreat again, though, because the guards might've seen me. That's surely not great. Why? Because someone saw me fell in such an ungraceful way, obviously? Stop asking me stupid questions, Luise.
(Voice echoes) Now that we're underground and a better place to talk about this little thing, it's best time to state the discoveries not only I, the Federation, discovered, but also Union. Well, you see, Personifications just think of themselves as quirky humans, basically, so they completely ignore the unique abilities they can do. One of them being the ability to change sexes—something they think is exclusive to few—and to, well, jump into their own flag and exit from another flag of theirs.
There's more, of course, which is why I'm going to talk about them here. I'm not going to leave you listeners on a cliffhanger. Well, the chance is there, but not right now. I think you deserve to know.
First, I'll just explain about those two things before I get to the rest. 'Kay, sex change. It's really quite simple, every Personification, whether they're a state, a city, a country, an organisation, even a continent, can change their sex. I mean, the general Personification populace knew about this ability, but they just didn't think it's something they themselves can do, you know? They just thought it's limited to something which represents land, which is funny to me. Because all of us represent land. Well, kind of. But still.
They aren't too surprised of continents being able to change their sex, because they're, well, continents, nothing too political about them. Of course there still are, but they don't represent anything political. Unless they're Australia. Or Africa. Thing is, no one actually knows that African Union is actually the Africa, but I digress.
This is useful for people who actually have issues with their gender, I think. Few who actually use this for that advantage is Austria, Italy, Monaco, and—albeit unintentionally—half of Ukraine; specifically Volyn. There's others of course, but I'm just listing names of people in Europe. Portugal too, I didn't think. There's probably more I don't know, but the artefact provides great insight, and I think I figured out all when it comes to the countries. I'm just not mentioning all of them.
Yes, Luise, I know you used this ability to evade suspicion from other knights back when you were still alive. I'm actually more surprised to know that Prussia is so hard on his head to not realise that that was the reason why no one executed you for being a woman in the order as a knight.
Now, don't get creeped out over the fact that I practically know your whole life. I thought you knew that already. Well, I don't know your whole life, but I sure do know what the hell is going on with the Archons. Czechia had it rough for being the only one titled king.
I actually learnt a whole lot about your daughter too. I mean, she was technically an Archon, was she not? Well, Co-Representation of the Holy Roman Empire, yes, so I guess that makes her higher than the Archons. Austria had this weird state of hierarchy inside that thing, honestly. Plus Czechia was directly under her despite being an Archon himself.
So, what was she, Luise? You don't know? Huh, I think I saw Austrian Empire's ghost roaming around recently. How about you go find her and talk to her? I certainly can't, I have things to do. Way more important than catching up with the dead, surely.
Again, blame Luise for getting me sidetracked once more, but returning to the secret ability thing, there's a specific caveat here. You can really only do it if you don't have aphantasia, as you have to actually imagine yourself changing sexes for it to happen. Like really imagine it and believe it. Just believing isn't enough. So, Delaware's never getting rid of his other sex like how Alaska did.
Next is the thing I just did. Using our own flags as portals. It's basically that, all flags are linked to each other through a weird uhm, in-between realm. I'm not sure what to even refer to it. But the sensation of going in there was just you being in a free fall, basically. But I think I saw a gigantic bridge at one point. I could be hallucinating, but I don't hallucinate, so it's not a hallucination.
I can't quite explain what that realm looks like. A flash of bright colours, pastel, blue and pink, interesting combination. There was purple too, and light grey, and white. Nothing else. Don't really know why. It felt like wind rushing over me, too. I swear, if I can actually control myself inside that place, it'll be a way better exit compared to being thrown out like I just regurgitated a cat out.
So, this thing connects every flag, yes every flag together. Like, of course, only between the same thing, but it feels like a highway, you know. I can just go outside of any flag of Russia—even on clothes—as long as I know they're there. Because I also need to be able to locate where I want to exit. I don't really want to think about being lost in there. Must suck.
That's all about that one thing, I think. At least, for you to know. As of now, I have no idea if I can get chucked out of a flag of Russia I drew myself, so just assume it's only the physical ones for now.
Then there's the ability to actually shift inside your own represented land. Like teleporting. Not really, though, because you actually sink into the land. Now, this is actually limited to just Personifications who represent the land, but does it honestly matter when no one even knows they can do that? Well, the continents do, of course, but they aren't humans. They literally steal the skin of another Personification. They're an exemption.
This is how I'm actually in Veliky Novgorod when I was previously in Moscow, by the way. It's more instinct than imagination so any land represented can do this as I said before. It's still early in the morning, not too many people around, so I'm sure no one would send me ugly looks over talking with myself. Other than obviously sticking out like a sore thumb, you know. I'm white ass. I'm tall. That's that.
Now, what else... hm, I could name a few more, but I don't think you all deserve to know, really. Well, just yet. Don't be too sad about it, listener, I'm sure you'll find out more soon. (Faint ringtone) I'm afraid I have to go now, sudden phone call from my third phone. Yes, I have three phones. You'll hear from me a bit more, I believe.
██-█ of █████████. It is nice to hear from you, Third.
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