Chapter Text
Amy Santiago had a secret, like most young girls do.
It started with a book stolen from the library, one that her mother would never approve of, and a torch under the bed covers in the darkest hour of the night. Each word burnt into her prepubescent memory, touching her in a way that she never could have anticipated, and as she fell deeper and deeper into the clutches of Humbert and his passionate love for Lolita, Amy felt her own reality slipping away. She wanted to be the object of someone’s affection, she wanted to feel the rush of forbidden love, and she wanted to feel the inappropriate touch of a man twice her age.
It started small, her twelve year old lips brushing against those of her brother’s best friend, Jake Peralta, fourteen years old and her first kiss. He’d told her it was inappropriate, that she was only a child and it didn’t feel right. But she’d smiled that devious smile and forced her lips upon him once more. He didn’t say no this time, he didn’t push her off; instead, he kissed her soft lips unapologetically. His hands roamed her undeveloped body, slipping under her shirt as she straddled his waist and pushed him to lie on her bed.
“Amy, this is wrong.” His words were muffled by her kiss, but this time she knew he couldn’t be so easily swayed by her touch. With a soft sigh, she climbed off of him and allowed him to escape, a look of longing in her eyes as she watched him leave without a simple glance back.
Nothing had ever been the same after their encounter. His kiss evoked a hunger within her that could only be quelled by the satisfaction of gaining the love of older men. At the tender age of twelve, however, she found this quite hard to achieve to her dismay. Humbert had loved Lolita with the deepest of passion that Amy had ever witnessed and she couldn’t understand why such love couldn’t arise for her.
Giving in to the fact that she could never have what was written within the three hundred and seventy-eight pages hidden in the back of her closet; Amy lowered her standards and set her sights on boys closer to her age. She’d need the practice, after all, if she was hoping to snag an older man someday.
Fifteen was the oldest she’d ever kissed thanks to the early arrival of puberty and the breasts that had grown a whole year ahead of the other girls her age. It was easy to fool the boys if they thought she was thirteen because it wasn’t so strange to them. Boys just like Jake Peralta had come onto her without prompting, teaching her everything she needed to know about the use of tongue and where to put her hands. By the time she was sixteen she was practically a professional.
“Everyone calls you a slut.” Kylie’s words weren’t unexpected; she knew what people were saying about her behind her back. She’d practically kissed all the boys in school and her skirt was always six inches shorter than all the other girls, but it didn’t make the words harbour any less hatred or weight. Luckily for Amy, she had never cared what anyone else thought.
“Do you think I’m a slut?” As her best friend since kindergarten Kylie had an obligation to say no, but there was a look in her eyes that Amy couldn’t ignore and she knew what her best friend truly thought. While she knew that things would be different if she shared her goals and inspiration with the young blonde, Amy also knew that it was a huge risk and she couldn’t bear the judgement. All she wanted was what Lolita had.
“No, I just think you’re misguided.”
Words shared and time spent together was at a minimum after this. It wasn’t by choice, however, as Kylie’s mother had banned her daughter from visiting the Santiago home and had teachers enlisted to keep the girls apart at school. While it hurt to know what Mrs. Prichard thought of her, Amy refused to let this deter her from her goal. By the end of the school year she was determined to be the object of Mr. Pembroke’s affections, no matter what it took.