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Soft and sweeping like the raw wind in the empty and desolate night, that was how Ivan saw Till. He should reconsider his concepts about that boy with gray hair and a wild spirit, an unconsciously rebellious existence. Contrary to Ivan's hidden submission, acceptance, the chains that completely bound his being in that land abandoned by the Goddess herself.
“It's been a long time since I last saw you”
Hell is empty and the devil's are here, with them, infecting their veins, clogging their bodies and destroying their remaining humanity.
“I feel so much desire”
Till drew the two of them, together, holding hands, intertwined. And then Ivan wondered, would Till's hand be warm? With slight red bumps due to the countless scribbles made on cheap and random paper.
“To look into your eyes, gain your hugs, it's true I don't lie”
The same papers that, that blessed one could transform into divine manuscripts. Of course he knew, rebels have wings and Till's wings were his stick figure drawings in a beautiful green setting. A setting free from the colonizers of that infamous and hostile planet.
“And in this desperation that I find myself in, I have reached the point of exchanging myself for you several times, just to see if I can find myself”
He looks at his singing companion, the beautiful boy with incomprehensible eyes and an energetic attitude. He wants to take him away from this cursed place, he wants to free him from this curse, he wants him to never again have to suffer temptations and divine punishments.
One miserable word is enough.
A please whispered in the miserable and biased darkness. Just that, for Ivan to penetrate his spinal cord and lodge himself inside him like a filthy parasite.
“You could forgive me, and just accept me once more.”
So he waits, tirelessly.
“I promise now I will do everything I can to never lose you again.”
And that moment never comes.
“Now, what do I do with my life without you?”
And that feeling burns like a whip encrusted with flames.
“You didn’t teach me to forget you.”
And he looks at the stars, he reads the remnants of something from his old planet on shooting stars.
“You only taught me to want you, and wanting you I will try to find you”
And he relates them to Till, his best friend in that sea of Go pieces. “I get lost, searching in other arms, your embraces, lost in the emptiness of other steps” The shooting stars are actually meteors, there is a myth that if you make a wish on them, it will come true, but that is a myth, an untruth, an illusion.
“From the abyss you withdrew And threw me, and left me here alone”
Till was his shooting star, a myth, an illusion. He could never be his.