Chapter Text
The gentle breeze ruffled his hair as he blearily looked up at the night sky. He was seated by the opened window, hugging his knees while observing the uneventful outside. The moon was bathing his whole room in its ethereal light; it was so bright he almost didn’t need his tiger vision to see clearly. It was slightly cold and quiet and calm, the perfect combination to fall asleep to. Especially after a long workday, Saturday morning’s embrace waiting to envelop him. He just had to lay down, close his eyes, let his mind wander, and …
The weretiger sighed.
He had no illusions left at this point; it wasn’t going to work. He just couldn’t fall asleep. Again.
He had a light dinner and relaxed by reading a book for about an hour while sipping chamomile tea, all recommended to him by Yosano-san. Atsushi was hopeful it was going to work this time, even if it didn’t work the last. He’s been in his closet/bed for two hours, laying wide awake, before he took a break from trying to rest and ended up sitting by the window, watching the outside fall asleep while he couldn’t. Just like last time.
Was it the full moon? The fact Kyouka-chan was at a sleepover? Or was it …
Whatever it was, it was clearly going to prevent him from getting any shut-eye.
He stretched his arms and then slowly laid backwards, staring at the ceiling, his tired eyes reflecting the night light. What to do, what to do …
Well. He was kinda peckish.
So, he did the only thing he could; he got up, pulled a hoodie over his head and headed out to find something to eat.
Now that he came to terms with his insomnia, he suddenly felt like the night was still young; it was barely one in the morning, he had the whole nighttime before him to do with it as he pleased. That gave a little pep to his step, and he faltered before entering his usual convenience store just a few strides away from the ADA apartments.
He felt like walking a little further. To take a nice long walk and enjoy the fresh air.
Atsushi turned away from the store, determined to make the most of yet another sleepless night.
The quiet streets with residential complexes he passed slowly gave way to higher buildings and busier streets; it was the prime time for nightclubs to come alive. He passed a few bars and clubs, their employees on the street inviting him in, but there was no way he was entering, especially in his silly hoodie (it had bunny ears attached to the hood, courtesy of Kyouka-chan).
His hunger finally got the best of him, and he decided on a shop, buying soba noodles and lots of Sakura themed sweets. He loved the limited time products that rarely repeated themselves and he wanted to try them all before they disappeared forever.
On his way out, Atsushi checked his phone; he’s been walking for nearly an hour, no wonder he got so hungry. He was now also one hour from his apartment, but that didn’t bother him that much; he could always run back, his tiger giving him the speed to cross the distance in no time.
But right now, he just wanted to find a nice quiet spot, preferably by the sea, to enjoy his soft Sakura-shaped pink thingy that contained so much sugar he probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anyway.
His mind was so busy thinking about devouring said sweet that he didn’t notice a person leaving the bar right in front of him.
“Watch out!”
His plastic bag fell on the floor as he reached for the falling person he had just bumped into. The impact wasn’t that serious, he barely touched them, but the person wobbled on their feet dangerously, leaning way too fast on their right. They were clearly drunk, not much holding them upright.
But Atsushi was there to catch them.
“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t see you there, are you …”
“Shut up, weretiger.”
Atsushi froze on the spot. There weren’t that many people who called him that. In fact, there was only one.
“… Akutagawa?”
The death glare he received would have been much more effective if the mafioso didn’t lean on him as if his life depended on it. Atsushi absentmindedly noted how light the man was, despite being a little taller than him.
“Oh, perfect. It is you.”
Why did you call me that if you didn’t know it was me? Atsushi thought, but didn’t feel like talking logistics.
The smart thing would be to walk away, his brain told him. His silly little heart, however, …
“Do you need help?”
“Do I look like I need help?”
Akutagawa violently tore away from Atsushi’s body to prove his point and immediately started to fall backwards.
“Sorry, but …” Atsushi grabbed his arm, pulling him upright once again, looking behind him while he did so. “… is there anyone with you?”
The man didn’t seem to notice he was leaning on his ‘enemy’ once again.
“I don’t need anyone, weretiger. Least of all …” He raised his head to bark at him some more and very clearly realized that he was way closer to Atsushi’s face than he thought, his eyes widening at the sight. “… you.”
His breath tickled Atsushi’s skin and the detective made another mental note how it didn’t really bother him at all. He smelled of liquor, but it wasn’t that off-putting.
“Yeah, okay. Want to sit down for a minute?”
Akutagawa just stared at him. It was hard to tell if he heard him at all.
“Akutagawa?”
“Are you being nice to me?”
Huh?
“I’m just asking if you want to sit down with me for a moment, I have snacks and …” Was he rambling? Why did that question make him kind of nervous? “I don’t know if that’s nice, I’m just … you’re not looking very clear-headed, is all.” He smiled at him, hoping Akutagawa was too drunk to register the slight tremor in his voice.
“Why would you make that your problem.”
Well. His (sometimes) partner was alone and unable to function properly; what did he expect him to do, kick him when he was down?
“You’re not a problem,” he said with a much more confident smile as he was picking up his fallen groceries. “Come on, stop complaining. We’re sitting down.”
He gently tugged Akutagawa by his sleeve; he felt no resistance, so he slowly led them across the street to find a bench at the nearby park. He could just offer to call him a taxi, but he had a feeling he might fall and hit his head at any minute, so he decided this was the best course of action.
“Where are you taking me?” It sounded more curious than accusing, and that made Atsushi happy; their relationship couldn’t exactly be called friendly at that point, but they did save the world together a few months ago. Just the two of them. Because they didn’t need anyone else.
(Mental note number three: he felt a stir in his chest as he thought back on that.)
“That bench over there, see, it’s near,” he replied, almost whispering for some reason.
“I don’t want that bench. I want that one, it’s nicer.”
He pointed towards one that was further than the first, but it did overlook the sea, so Atsushi led them there without complaint.
“Do you need to lay down for a moment?” he asked as he sat down and started rummaging through the bag, looking for his tea.
“No,” Akutagawa said decisively as he plopped down on the wooden bench next to him. A second after that, his eyes slowly crossed. “No, yes.”
“You want some … oh.”
He had just unscrewed the cap of his drink and was about to take a sip as a weight pressed against him.
“A-Akutagawa?”
The Port Mafia’s hellhound … was laying his head on his lap.
He stared at his face, taken aback. Akutagawa’s eyes were closed, and he looked completely at ease. On his enemy’s lap.
I might have fallen asleep after all.
He thought about doing something about the predicament, but it all involved moving Akutagawa, and he was a little scared of doing that; if he was fast asleep, he might react violently. He wouldn’t put him past that.
“Akutagawa.”
No answer.
…
Oh, well. He decided he probably wasn’t even going to remember it in the morning, so why not enyj… just let him?
Atsushi grabbed his bag once again, taking out his after-midnight snack. He didn’t picture his night turning out like this, but he might as well make the most of it.
One meal and two snacks later, Akutagawa cracked open one of his eyes.
“What are you eating? It smells … rancid.”
Atsushi looked down from devouring his third Sakura shaped treat, surprised.
“Morning.” Should he say something about him moving? “You want some?”
Akutagawa inspected the sweet like it had offended him.
“What is it.”
“Don’t know.” He wasn’t lying. It looked good and it felt even better in his mouth, but it was hard to describe. “It tastes … pink.”
The man below him huffed, a strange sound that could count as a beginning of a laugh. Did I just make Akutagawa laugh? Has that ever happened before?
While he thought about it, strangely proud of himself, Akutagawa got up on his elbows and then slowly faced him, kneeling on the bench, supporting himself by gripping Atsushi’s shoulder with one arm.
“Okay.” He said it in such a serious tone the weretiger didn’t have a clue what he was referring to.
“Okay …?”
“I’ll try it.” He pointed towards the pink.
Atsushi smiled apologetically.
“It’s the last one, sorry, I already ate the other two, but I could run to the ...”
He wandered off after that, because Akutagawa had both his hands on Atsushi’s thigh, and he was leaning down, taking a small bite out of his half-eaten bun. He even bit the exact spot where you could clearly see the marks of Atsushi’s canines, he didn’t even try to get a clean bite.
Atsushi felt it would be best if he stopped taking the strange mental notes connected to Akutagawa. This last one made him … uncomfortable, but not in an entirely unpleasant way, and he really didn’t want to think about it for too long while observing his once enemy biting down into the treat he held right above his lap.
Akutagawa made a face.
“Rancid.”
“Here, you can wash it down with this,” Atsushi quickly offered his tea, his throat also feeling a little dry. “It’s unsweetened.” The mafioso took the tea his ADA partner obviously had already drank from and had a large sip. “I’m afraid I bought only extra sweet stuff, and I already ate the soba. Want me to go grab you something?”
Akutagawa finished his tea, looking at him with his head tilted to the side, one eye closed, the other half-lidded.
Cute.
“Don’t be such a fool. Just go home, will you. I’m fine.” He didn’t look fine, but he didn’t want to say that.
“Can I call someone? A taxi, or …”
“Weretiger.” Another half-lidded stare. “Your service is appreciated. You can go now.”
… this was all he needed, right? Then why couldn’t he just …
“I … I don’t mind staying a little longer. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
Akutagawa stared at him for a second longer before he sighed and laid back down on the bench, crossing his legs over Atsushi’s poor lap.
Don’t. No more mental notes. Stop.
“What guilt-connected nightmare are you having this time around,” the mafioso wondered, sounding bored, but maybe secretly invested. He also didn’t sound as drunk anymore, his eyes clearing or maybe it was just the moon reflecting in them.
“Hey,” Atsushi chuckled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s not a nightmare, I just … I don’t know.” He put his hand next to Akutagawa’s leg, his thumb brushing up against it. “A lot has happened … a lot to process, about … everything. It likes to eat into the night, when it’s quiet and I’m alone.”
A moment of silence.
“Have you tried drinking.”
The smile was more genuine this time around.
“Doesn’t sound like a very good idea.”
Akutagawa fell quiet, looking up at the sky, pondering gods know what. Atsushi stole glances at him, obviously gathering the courage to ask him something else.
“And … are you doing … well?”
He waited for the answer for a long time, almost giving up on it in the process.
“I think so.” Hm.
“Your cough is gone,” he tried prodding; when will he get another opportunity like this?
“It would seem so, yes.”
…
“… but you’re … cured, right?” He tried to say it in a calm way, his fingers curling around Akutagawa’s trousers. “It went away, the lung … after you, and the curse …” Both his words and thoughts trailed into nothing. Was he taking it too far? He just really wanted to know, and it’s not like he could just pick up the phone and call the Port Mafia’s information desk, asking Is Akutagawa Ryuunosuke still dying?
Akutagawa got up, staring at him with his usual scowl that somehow didn’t look as menacing as it used to.
“Yes, weretiger. I’m fine. The vampirism dealt with it. Now stop looking at me like that.”
The white-haired boy couldn’t help but smile at his scowl.
“Hey, I’m just … glad.” Okay, now say something cool, this got way too soppy for Akutagawa. “Wouldn’t want to miss out on our upcoming match, now would I.” Why. Why did I say that.
“What.”
Akutagawa’s blank expression made him nervously chuckle. Just. Why.
“Uh … you know. Our match. To the d… that one?” The mafioso looked like he remembered. He crossed his arms and gave him another one of his angry looks. “I-It’s not like I’m looking forward to it, I just … you know. It’s nice to know you’ll be there for it.”
What a weird thing to say.
Akutagawa seemed to agree.
“Idiot.” He leaned in close, probably so Atsushi could hear him better and not get the wrong idea. “The match is off.”
“Huh? Why?”
He didn’t want to complain, he really didn’t. He had an inkling it was going to happen, judging by how unserious Dazai-san took it, but it still felt nice to hear it from the man himself.
“We killed Amenogozen. Killed, weretiger. We did it together. I didn’t hold up to my part of the deal.”
“Right.” He could insist that that one didn’t really count since it was literally the world at stake … but … it made sense. A pang of disappointment soured his victory. “So, you’re back to … nevermind.”
“I didn’t kill anyone else.”
His chest swelled with pride.
“… Why?”
“Didn’t feel like it. And I told you to stop looking at me like that.”
Atsushi looked away, feeling a little embarrassed, but overall happy. This was all good news, almost overwhelmingly good. It was getting colder, but he felt like he was all warmed up.
Akutagawa then groaned and shifted again, dragging himself closer; he was now almost sitting on Atsushi’s lap.
“I’m cold.”
He wasn’t looking at Atsushi; he was staring into nothing, as if sending this thought into the ether, hoping some deity would somehow hear him and send him a sweater.
Wait.
“Here, I can give you mine. It’s clean.”
Atsushi quickly removed his hoodie and pushed it towards Akutagawa; it was cold, but nothing he and his tiger couldn’t handle.
As soon as Akutagawa’s eyes managed to focus on the hoodie, he zeroed in on the bunny ears. The detective was convinced there was no way he would wear it now (it was a small chance that he would wear it to begin with), but Akutagawa tilted his head once again and then reached out to stroke the appendages.
“Kyouka?” he said in a strangely calm voice.
“Yes. She’s really into sowing lately.” Akutagawa lips quirked slightly upwards, which the detective took as a sign he could continue. “Her favorite pastime is sowing bunny ears on everyone’s hoodies, whether they want them or not … well, she did cat ears for the President. Guess he’s special.”
The mafioso gently took the hoodie from the weretigers hands and carefully pushed his hands and head through it without complaint.
Atsushi did his best not to laugh when he looked at him after he put it on.
“Here, just …”
He grabbed the bunny ear that was leaning over Akutagawa’s face and pushed it backwards. This … was probably a mistake. He was way too close now, leaning into Akutagawa’s personal space like he was when he crashed into him while exiting the bar.
He didn’t feel like moving, though. Maybe he was colder than he originally thought, and he liked the closeness of another body. Whatever the case, he didn’t hate it.
Akutagawa was staring at him, not moving either. His gaze then slowly drifted from the weretigers eyes, lower.
Is he … looking at my mouth? Is there something on my mouth, did I eat too fast, do I have crumbs on my face?
He covered his lips, hoping to get whatever was there out of the way, while Akutagawa simultaneously stood up, wobbling on his feet while he struggled to stay upright.
“I should go home now.”
He made another two steps before Atsushi had to get up to catch him again; this was progress compared to an hour ago, but there was no way he would let him crawl to wherever the mafioso lived.
Atsushi sighed, helping his partner sit down again; he had to be careful about how he was going to phrase this.
“I … know you don’t need help, but … I’d like to. If you want to put up with me for a little longer.”
Akutagawa didn’t give any sign that he had heard him. He kept gripping Atsushi’s arm like he was still standing and trying not to sit on the ground, not a cohesive thought in his mind.
Wait, is he getting worse? Did he drink something else while I wasn’t looking?
I was always looking … hey, not in a weird way. Okay?
The dark-haired man then looked him in the eye with a serious expression like he was going to tell him some dark secret.
“I don’t think I can walk.”
Well, no shit, Sherlock. Did he just figure this out?
“Want to wait a little longer? It’s getting really cold …”
Akutagawa made a weird face, like he had just said something wrong; was there a right answer to his predicament? Did he want him to call a taxi, call a friend, did he want him to …
“I could just carry you.”
He said it in a tongue in cheek kind of way, looking at him side-ways with a smile; obviously, he was joking, trying to underline he wasn’t exactly leaving him many options to get him home, and that he should just …
“You do make a fine steed.”
Well. No humor detected there. He said it completely seriously.
“I live over there.” Akutagawa vaguely pointed towards the buildings behind them, which could either mean he lived close enough or on the other side of the town. “Come on. I don’t have all night.” He stood up on the bench (without wobbling once, wonder what happened to that) and gestured for the weretiger to get in front of him, deciding this was really what they were doing.
Uh.
Well … It was the middle of the night. One was sleep deprived, the other drunk or getting to the hungover stage, both were freezing. They were both trying to heal their many psychological wounds best they could, and honestly, was it even that weird they had just bonded a little?
“Round two it is.”
His arms enveloped him into a strong grip, his body pressed against his back, his legs circled around his waist, and he took them into his arms. He weighed nothing at all; Atsushi didn’t even need to call on some of his tiger’s power to help carry the load. That made him feel strangely protective of the man; he knew he was nowhere near being frail, but … he still wanted to shield him somehow. He had him literally on him, so that made him feel pretty good about himself.
Akutagawa had just finished giving him very vague directions when his phone rang. The mafioso reached into his pocket and answered with a short What.
“Oi, diablo, where did you go?”
Loud music could be heard at the other side of the call. Atsushi didn’t mean to pry, but it was right there, next to his ear and he could hear it all.
“Hello, Chuuya-san. I went out.”
“Why? Come back, Higuchi’s been looking for you!”
Akutagawa nudged Atsushi into his ribs like a goddamned horse, giving him a sign he shouldn’t just stand there, but move. The weretiger sighed and headed north, hoping the vague directions the drunkard gave him were right enough.
“Tell her that my whereabouts are none of her business.”
“That’s not nice, Akutagawa! Are you coming back in or not!?”
“No. I’m going home.”
“Are you alright? You could barely stand up straight, I was surprised you made it out the door.”
Atsushi giggled and earned himself another poke in the ribs.
“Speak for yourself.”
“C’mon, man, don’t be like that, do you need me to call anyone?”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? I’m fine.”
A pause.
“… oh. Did you pick someone up at the club?”
“… what.”
The weretiger bit his lip so he wouldn’t laugh again.
“Well good for you, kiddo! I guess I’ll leave you to it, and I won’t tell Higuchi just in case, okay? Oh, and remember to always use protect–”
Click.
Atsushi immediately dissolved into giggles.
“Stop that.”
He only laughed harder, expecting another vicious poke in the sensitive flesh, but Akutagawa covered his mouth with his hands instead; it did shock the weretiger for a second, but he soon regained the upper hand.
“Did … did you just lick me.”
“… yes.”
“… idiot.”
Akutagawa let his hands fall against Atsushi’s chest, nesting his head in the crook of his neck. His breath tickled Atsushi’s skin as he sighed deeply, seemingly admitting defeat.
“You’re lucky I’m too tired to deal with you properly.”
“Rashomon not a fan of alcohol?”
“Hm.”
They fell into a comfortable silence after that; Akutagawa seemed to have fallen asleep, snuggly tucked away on Atsushi’s shoulder, while the other couldn’t stop smiling for some unexplainable reason.
I just … kind of hoped we could be … well, at least amicable.
This felt very amicable. He ate his food, wore his hoodie, asked for a piggyback. You didn’t do those things with your enemies, right? No matter how intoxicated …
After a while he heard a grumble, hot breath seeping through the thin fabric of his t-shirt and reaching his cold skin. For some reason, the warmth made him shiver.
“What?”
“Hmfmfm.”
“… you’re talking into my back, I really can’t hear you.”
Akutagawa unburied his face from the back of his neck, breathing in deeply.
“This is me.” He pointed towards a fancy apartment complex building they’ve just passed. Atsushi quickly made a few steps backwards and loosened his grip on Akutagawa’s thighs.
“… what are you doing.”
Well, they were right in front of the lobby, and he was fairly certain his partner could make it to the elevator alone.
“Uh. You need me to carry you inside?”
The next few seconds of silence made Atsushi think he might’ve messed something up, but he couldn’t quite tell what. Before he could dwell on that any longer, Akutagawa slowly let go of him, stepping back on the floor, his feet surely planted on the ground. Atsushi turned around and tried his best not to smile from ear to ear; one of the bunny ears was once again leaning on Akutagawa’s face, his flushed face, and he was holding his arm with his hand, looking embarrassed, as if he just realized what had been happening for the last hour or so.
“… thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
He just stood there like a fool, waiting for him to get inside. Was Akutagawa waiting for him to say something else?
“You … can call me up if you ever need a ride like this again.”
Akutagawa nodded at that, the other bunny ear also falling forward, directly on his face.
“Good night, weretiger.”
“Good night, Akutagawa.”
He felt so tired walking back to his apartment, barely resisting the temptation to just slouch on a random bench, close his eyes and let the sleep take him. The only thing preventing him from doing that was the cold; he didn’t have his hoodie on him. Akutagawa seemed to have totally forgotten he was wearing it, and Atsushi also didn’t ask him to return it. It just didn’t feel right, taking it back … he’ll have to explain it to Kyouka-chan tomorrow, though. Hopefully she wasn’t going to be mad.
But seeing Akutagawa clumsily turn around, with his bunny ears on his back swaying back and forth as he was entering the elevator …
Worth it.