Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Regulus nervously fiddles with the cuffs of his sleeves as he stares at the house across the street. He looks over to see Remus sitting next to him, with an expression of similar anxiousness, his right knee bouncing lightly. He turns his head back to look across the street. The house, which Regulus recently found out, belongs to James, his James. Wait- no. Not his James anymore. He hasn't been his James since Regulus left him and disappeared off the face of the Earth with Remus.

James isn’t the only person Regulus left. He left everyone: his friends, chosen family, and his brother. Sirius. His big brother, someone whom Regulus has missed every day for almost 7 years. Someone who spent his whole life sacrificing everything for Regulus. Someone with whom he was finally rebuilding his relationship. Someone who had the whole world in his hands, only for his little brother to rip that away from him. Regulus will never forgive himself for that, for convincing Remus to follow him, for convincing him to give up his life as well. For taking him from Sirius.

He knows Remus misses Sirius. He knows because for 7 years he's listened to Remus break down at the mention of Sirius. For 7 years, he’s watched the light drain from Remus’ eyes when they spot someone who looks similar to Sirius. Remus loves him, and Regulus took that away from them both.

It wasn’t like they wanted to leave. But, they had to. They had to leave their whole world and dedicate their lives to the war efforts. To kill Voldemort. They left in the dead of night, not telling a soul. They have spent the better part of the past 7 years finding Horcruxes and slowly destroying them. And as painful as it was, they finally did it. They finally destroyed every last one and killed Voldemort.

But now, the war is over. They have won. And, they’re back trying to reconnect with the people they love, the people they abandoned. That’s why they’re sitting across the street from James’ house, they’re ready to reinsert themselves into society.

Regulus knows that it won’t be easy. He knows that. But he’s ready to try, to fight, and rebuild everything they threw away.

“We should probably cross the street,” Remus mutters.

They should.

“We should.” Regulus agrees.

They don’t move, though.

They sit there, staring at their past, present, and, hopefully, future. They stare at the beautiful house, a house Regulus can so easily imagine James living in. Maroon coloured front door, big windows, double story, surrounded by sunflowers and trees. It’s rather domestic. He can imagine James and himself living there. He wonders what the inside looks like. Is it just as chaotic as he knows James is? Is it filled with photos of James and all his friends from when they were young, to now?

From the corner of his eye, he sees Remus slowly stand up. He runs his hand through his hair and sighs. “Come on, we can’t sit here forever. James and, probably, Sirius are inside. WE’ve come this far.”

Regulus knows he’s right; they have come this far. The rest of their lives are literally across the street. But he can’t help but be nervous. What would he say? How would he say it? What if they aren’t home?

“I’m scared.” He admits. Because he does that now, Remus has seen him at his absolute worst. He has seen him almost get drowned and mauled to death, and still stuck around. Remus can handle a few of Regulus’ fears and nightmares.

“I know, I am too. But…we deserve this. We’ve sacrificed everything for them to keep them safe. They love us. We’ll be fine.”

The finality of Remus’s last few words seals the deal for Regulus.

“Okay.” He sighs and stands up, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

They walk over to the road, ready to cross into their forever after. Ready for the tears, ready for the smiles. Ready to see the loves of their lives again.

#~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#

James smiles and gently kisses his son’s head. Harry, freshly 6 months old, is truly the light of his life. And, right now, the light of his life is finally taking a nap after not sleeping all night. He can hear his wife’s light breathing, and he looks over at her, lying in bed right next to him. She’s so beautiful. Her hair framing her head like a red halo, her eyes shut tight.

In moments like these, he truly understands what peace looks like. His heart is so full of love that he can barely move. His beautiful baby boy, fast asleep in his arms, the woman of his dreams, someone who stood by him through thick and thin, who built him up after others tore him down, was also asleep next to him. He has everything he could ever want right here. Well, everything except Sirius, who is living a few minutes away with his love.

James gently sets Harry down on the bed, surrounding him with pillows on each side to make sure he doesn’t fall. He walks to the door and slowly shuts it. He wants to clean the house a little and prepare some breakfast by the time the other two are awake. He looks at the clock on the living room wall as he descends the stairs. 12:46 pm. He walks over to his coat on the coatrack and pulls out the magic mirror he and Sirius have used since they were 13.

“Sirius.” He says into the mirror.

After a short while, “Good morning, Prongsie.” A disgruntled voice replies.

James quirks his lips. “Don’t tell me you’re still asleep.”

“I’m not, not anymore.”

“Wow, Pads, it’s almost 1 pm. How are you still asleep?”

“Benji and I had a long night.” Sirius defends.

James smiles and walks over to the living room. He places the mirror on the coffee table and begins to clean up toys off the floor. “Oh? And what were you two doing that warranted said long night?”

“Well,” Sirius’s excited voice begins, “Benji took me to that new Muggle burger place that opens at like 10 at night. And holy Merlin, James! The food was so good! You have to try it.”

“Really? Is it that good? Mary was telling me she hated the food there.”

“Mary doesn’t know what she’s talking about! The food was so good!”

James chuckles lightly. “Okay! So, you went to the burger place at 10, and what time did you get home?”

“Like midnight.”

“That’s not too late.”

“Yeah, but we had a long night in bed, if you know what I mean.” James can hear the silly smile in Sirius’s voice.

He laughs out loud. “Damn. How long exactly did you two do it?”

“I don’t know, I can’t remember. But we both ended up passing out. He was still inside me when we woke up.”

“God, Pads, you two don’t know when to stop, huh?”

“We’ll stop when we’re dead.”

James smiles and shakes his head. “To each their own.”

“What about you and Lily? How was last night?”

James sighs, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “God, Harry slept ‘til 7, and then he woke up and would not stop crying. I had a long day at work yesterday, so Lily took over for a while. Then, around 10, she woke me up. She has work tomorrow, so I took over for her. I just put Harry down.”

“Shit. At least he slept through the night this time.”

“Yeah, that’s the silver lining.” James finishes cleaning the room and walks over to the kitchen, pulling out some eggs and bread. He puts on an apron Sirius bought him for his birthday, it’s yellow with the words ‘Kiss the Chef!’ written in a bright pink, bulky font.

“What’re you doing now?”

“I finished cleaning the living room, so I’m making some breakfast for Lily and me.”

He hears Sirius laugh. “Look at you doing your husbandly duties.”

He smiles. “I’m a great husband.”

“You are.” Sirius agrees, “Lily tells me all the time.”

James’s smile widens. “She does?! God, I’m so in love with her.”

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake! You’ve married the woman, James, you can slow down the antics.”

“Never.” He smirks, about to crack an egg, when the doorbell rings. “Shit, wait. Someone’s at the door. I’ll be right back.”

He places the mirror on the counter and walks over to the front door. He looks at the mirror hung on the wall and fixes his bedhead as much as he can before another chime of the doorbell makes him turn to open the door. He mutters something about patience, but doesn't finish his sentence because as soon as he opens the door, he’s face to face with two ghosts that he thought he had buried, and any thoughts he may have had immediately vanish.

Chapter Text

Remus and Regulus stand outside on his front porch, staring at him with gentle smiles. James’ mouth is hanging open, and he knows he probably looks crazy, but he can’t really seem to care about that. Not when the two people that walked out on his life are now standing in front of him, smiling like no time has passed. 

They look different. Remus has more scars, Regulus’ eyebags are far more prominent. James never thought he’d see them again. 

“W-What….” He starts but can’t seem to finish. His heart is beating wildly, his brain hurts and frankly he has no idea if he’s dreaming right now. How is it possible that after 7 whole years of grieving and crying himself to sleep, missing the man he loved and one of his best friends, now they’re standing in front of him. 

“James…” Regulus says, still smiling, tears welling up in his eyes. His voice sounds hoarse and strained. It’s a voice James never thought he’d hear again. 

“How- What…what are you-?” He cuts himself off, still too shocked to really feel anything. He can’t speak, can’t think. His eyes are switching between Remus and Regulus’s faces, still trying to determine if what is happening is real. 

After a pause, Remus speaks up; “Can we come in?”

And, James can’t help but nod, still dazed, opening the door a little wider and stepping back to let them in. They walk past him, smiling softly and taking in his house. He stands behind them, mouth still hanging open. This can’t be happening.

“Jamie?” Sirius’s muffled voice from the kitchen pulls him out of his daze, in true Sirius fashion. He shakes his head and smiles awkwardly at the two unexpected quests. He walks forward and gestures to his living room, silently asking them to take a seat. He hopes they can understand him, because frankly he doesn’t know how to speak at this moment. 

Luckily, they do. 

He doesn’t give them a moment to speak and just scrambles out of the living room and speeds over to the kitchen, picking up the mirror, his breakfast completely forgotten. “Y-yeah…I’m here.” 

“Oh good, thought you’d forgotten about me.”

He doesn’t reply, he can’t seem to find the words. 

“James? Are you ok?” Sirius asks, “Who was at the door?”

“It- There was…Sirius…” He takes a deep breath, and blurts out; “Remus and Regulus are here.”

The mirror goes silent. “Is this-…Are you joking?”

James swallows harshly, still trying to wrap his head around what is happening. “No. I don’t…I don’t know what’s going on.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.” He hears Sirius mutter before disappearing. 

James stands there in the kitchen, still dazed and still confused. Remus and Regulus are here, in his house. Regulus is in his house. Regulus, Regulus, Regulus. James grips the edge of the kitchen counter with both hands and forces himself to breathe. His eyes start blurring with tears, years of pain that he thought he had accepted now pouring out of him.

He doesn’t know what to do. He can hear Regulus and Remus’s soft voices, too distant to make out. He can hear his heart beating wildly, blood rushing in his ears. His hands are sweating. Why is this happening?!

Suddenly the sound of footsteps walking down the stairs alert him. Lily. He quickly wipes his tears and rushes over to the staircase, stealing a glance at Remus and Regulus’s confused faces as he passes them. Lily wanders down the stairs and smiles sleepily at him. “Good morning, my love.” She mumbles, wrapping her arms around his waist.

For a moment, everything feels right to him. The whole world disappears, there’s nothing but them. In his wife’s arms he feels whole. He smiles and pulls her close. His problems are gone. It’s just Lily, her smile, her eyes, the way he fits in her arms. That’s all that matters.

“Good morning, darling.” He places a gentle kiss on her neck. She smells like home.

“I’m hungry.” She complains.

“I was- I was getting started on breakfast.”

“Mm…I’m really in the mood for pancakes!” 

“Darling. There’s- I have to tell you something.” James says, his voice cracking. He’s not sure how she will react. He doesn’t want her to feel pain or hurt, he loves her so much. He knows she will be affected by Remus’s return, they were best friends.

Her smile slowly fades as she takes in his tense attitude. “What’s wrong James?” 

Suddenly a loud gasp comes from behind James. They both turn towards the sound. Regulus is standing there, his eyes wide and his mouth dropped open. James squeezes his eyes shut.

“That. That’s what’s wrong.”

Lily goes stiff beside him and James can only assume that Remus has come into view. James opens his eyes and sees the tears in Regulus’s. He heart aches at seeing the hurt in them, and yet he doesn’t move to comfort him. He doesn’t because Regulus didn’t either all those years ago. He doesn’t because his world is Lily now. He doesn’t because it’s not his job to, not anymore.

#~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#

Regulus’s eyes are filled with tears, he knows they are. His heart hurts seeing the man he loves, the man he sacrificed everything to protect, the man he left, with another woman. When they decided to come back and reunite with their loved ones they knew this was a possibility, they knew and yet…the idea that James would move on never properly registered in his mind. 

But, he has. He’s standing there, Lily’s arms wrapped loosely around his waist. James’ arm is sitting on her shoulder, his forehead resting against her temple. They look like the picture perfect couple. Regulus is going to be sick. 

“Remus…?” Lily’s voice croaks out. She has tears running down her cheeks. 

“Hi...Lils.” Remus sounds breathless.

Regulus doesn’t care though, he doesn’t care because James is there and he’s with someone else. Someone who isn’t Regulus. And that’s not fair. He’s Regulus’s. James looks at him with something akin to pity and he hates it. Hates the idea that he’s a stranger to James, even though it’s his fault.

“What…How- How are you here?” 

“It’s a long story..” Remus mutters. He’s looking at Regulus, waiting for a response, a reaction, but Regulus doesn’t know what to do. How could this be?

James clears his throat and throws on a tight smile. “How about we all go take a seat in the living room?”

Lily nods next to him, still looking dazed. Regulus watches James turn to her and rub her arms. He watches him lean in and kiss her cheek, muttering something in her ear that makes her soften. That used to be me. Regulus feels bitter, he has no right, he knows. And yet, the only thing in his mind is; James used to look at me like that.

Remus’s arm gently pulls him into their living room, James and his wife, his wife; Lily. He sits back in the spot he was sitting mere seconds ago, before this revelation. Back when he was hopeful of a reunion, of a second chance.

“He’s- he’s dating her…” He mutters, staring at his hands.

“Regulus…” Remus winces. “We knew this would be a possibility.”

Regulus shakes his head. “No…he loves me. He told me he’d always love me.”

“It’s been 7 years. You know him, he has so much love to give. He’s….found someone to give it to.” Remus whispers. 

His throat tightens. In all the years he spent away not for a second did he doubt James’s love for him. He heard James tell him over and over that he loves him. No matter how long ago, that has to mean something.

“Do- do you think…Sirius did too?” Remus’s voice sounds so small. Smaller than Regulus has ever heard it. In all the years they spent together, through all the shit they’d seen; it was the thought of Sirius that always struck him. Now that the possibility of Sirius moving on is higher, Remus seems broken.

Before Regulus can reply, Lily walks in. She looks at them both intently, like she’s trying to convince herself that they’re real, that they’re here.

“How long have you been together?” Regulus asks, sounding bitter and angry even to his own ears. 

Lily looks taken aback but then composes herself. “5 years. We’ve been together 5 overall, married for 3.”

Regulus’s breath stutters, his hands feel clammy. 5 years. James found someone 5 years ago. Only 2 years after Regulus left. That’s how much their relationship was worth to him; 2 years. 

He knows he looks mad and he knows he’s supposed to be maintaining a good attitude throughout this, but he can’t really bring himself to care.

Everyone’s heads turn as James walks in with Lily’s robe, a small smile on his face. A smile that used to be directed at Regulus and is now directed at the redhead sitting across from him. Regulus feels his anger simmering.

“Here you are, my love.” James sounds so smitten, so in love, and Lily looks as much. 

They sit in awkward silence while Lily puts on her robe. Regulus knows that he’s the one making it this awkward, but he, once again, doesn’t care. 

“So…um-“ Remus starts, “It’s been a while…”

Lily stares at him and raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, no shit.”

He chuckles awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck.

“Where’s Sirius?” Regulus blurts.

“He’s at his apartment,” James mutters, “he said he’s coming in an hour. I told him about you guys…reappearing.”

Regulus nods. James is finally looking at him again, maybe not with the love he’d been expecting, but looking at him nonetheless. Regulus finally gets the chance to really look at him. He looks older, something that was to be expected. He has more smile lines, there’s a little stubble on his face, his hair is curlier. He looks so different and Regulus craves to know every inch of him again. There’s a little gold dagger earring, dangling from his left ear. Merlin, he looks so beautiful.

James looks away nervously and scratches his stubble. Lily places her hand on James’ knee, and smiles up at him encouragingly. Regulus could puke. 

“How have…how have you guys been?” Lily turns to them as she says it.

Regulus groans internally. 

This is going to be harder than he thought.