Work Text:
If you had the chance to ask Suho what’s one thing he liked about Sieun, he’d probably tell you, “Hands down, his eyes.” But if he was being honest, he found it cute whenever Sieun would drop a random, “I like you.”
See, Sieun wasn’t someone who, per se, enjoyed physical touch or initiated any contact between them. And only on some occasions where he would say “I love you’s.” It was rare. seldom. But lately, it’s like that’s all he wants.
One time, Suho was over at Sieun’s place, like he usually was. Sieun sat crisscrossed on his bed while Suho laid his head on his lap, eyes focused on a video Suho had put on for the both of them. Neither of them were really paying attention to it, anyway.
He was only there because Sieun had gone on this little rampage about how much he missed Suho. And Suho, being Suho, agreed to come over.
The only sound in the room was the video playing from the phone. they were quiet, yes, but it wasn’t awkward, just comfortable. It was the kind of quiet where words weren't needed.
It’s not like they didn’t have anything to say to each other, they did. They preferred each other's presence more.
Minutes passed by of them pretending to watch whatever the guy was saying through the phone, Sieun looked down at suho, suho looked up, he noticed Sieun’s face, soft, his eyes pretty as usual.
“Suho yah” sieun murmured.
Suho paused the video, “mh?” he responded.
Sieun then cupped suho’s face with both hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
‘’I really like you.” he whispered, a soft pink color taking over his cheeks.
What the fuck.
Suho was a bit surprised. Baffled, even. Not only did Sieun kiss his face, but he also told him he liked him.
Even though he was enjoying it, he couldn’t help but feel a bit concerned. Sieun never did anything like this. Was he feeling sad? Upset? It was so out of character.
“I love you too, Sieunie,” Suho said. “But—”
He pushed himself off Sieun’s lap, now sitting upright so he could face him.
“Are you okay?”
He just had to ask. In all the time they’d been together, Sieun had never done this. Suho was usually the one who did all the touching and offered all the affirmation. Sieun just took it.
Sieun glared at him.
Sure, he rarely did stuff like this, let alone anything clingy. but it still kind of hurts. Did he have to be upset to kiss his boyfriend? Was he not allowed to kiss him whenever he wanted? Was Suho accusing him of being emotionless? Unaffectionate?
You could barely see it, but Sieun pouted slightly, using his legs to push Suho away.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, eyebrows lifting.
“Just... it caught me off guard,” Suho said slowly, avoiding eye contact. He could feel Sieun glaring holes right at him.
Suho heard Sieun sigh and mentally braced himself for another shove, but when nothing came, he looked up and saw Sieun smiling, not a full one, just one of those ghost smiles he’ll let slip out here and there. It was one of Suho's favorite things about Sieun. no matter how little or big the smile was, it still made suho feel things.
“I mean, we're boyfriends. Are we not? you should expect these things” Sieun said casually, like it was the most obvious thing ever, his eyes locked with Suho’s.
Suho wanted to bang his head forty times against a wall. Sieun was so endearing in a way. He was awkward, yes, but God was he so cute whenever he wanted to be. Suho felt a rush of happiness, not only because Sieun was showing affection but also because he was letting his guards down around suho, and because he allowed suho to see this version of him.
Suho felt special in a way, the kind of special you feel when a random cat lets you pet them.
He felt a bit possessive, not in a jealous or toxic way, more of a desperate, yearning way. He wanted Sieun’s touches, glances and random confessions for him. He wanted to keep this version of Sieun only for him. Nobody else.
Okay, maybe it was in a jealous possessive way, it did sound toxic but, Suho wanted Sieun to keep his walls up for everyone else but him. He wanted to be the only one Sieun could truly feel calm around. The one to make him laugh, breathe softer, feel lighter. He wanted to be the reason Sieun was happy, and if that meant Sieun was miserable with everyone else, so be it. He wanted Sieun to hate everyone if it meant loving him more. He didn’t want Sieun to have other people to depend on. He wanted to be his only friend, his only comfort.
“Are you even listening to me?” Sieun said with an annoyed huff. And suho quickly got out his contemplation.
“Yeah.” Suho said sheepishly. turning his attention back to Sieun.
He smiled before grabbing sieuns hands colliding them with his, “i love you so much”
Sieun stared at him, rolling his eyes. “Stop being a sappy dork.” he then said with no real annoyance behind it. Suho just laughed, letting himself fall back onto his boyfriend's lap.
“You're a dork” he teased unpausing the video.
The second time was when he went to pick Sieun up from cram school. By now, he should’ve been used to it like ke Sieun always said. But it still caught him off guard every time. It was just so unexpected. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. How could he, though? When Sieun said it in that unfairly cute way, with those dumb pretty eyes of his. So, in conclusion. No. He would never get used to it.
Anyway, he’d just finished his shift and honestly, he was tired as shit. But he’d promised Sieun he’d pick him up so he wouldn’t have to waste money on the bus. So there he was, leaning against his bike and scrolling through his phone while he waited. He must’ve been really into that damn video, because when he looked up, he nearly fell over, two big eyes just... staring at him.
He sighed, heart still beating out of his chest. “Sieun-ah, can you not do that? Say something at least.”
“Sorry” Sieun sheepishly apologized.
Suho smiled and turned toward his bike, grabbing the spare helmet. “So how was cram?” he asked, trying to make conversation. He turned back to Sieun, gently placing the helmet on his head.
Sieun didn’t respond. He just stared.
Suho stared back, scratching the tip of his nose, almost nervously. The way Sieun was looking at him made him nervous. It made him think things. Dirty things. The kind he was honestly a little ashamed of. But seriously… sometimes the way Sieun looked at him, it felt like a silent, shameless cry for dick.
They stared at each other like they were in an abrupt eye contact contest. Neither blinked, Sieun was the first to break it. And without any warning, he stepped in and wrapped his arms around Suho. Right above his waist and rested his head against his chest. Like a muscle memory Suho wrapped his arms around sieuns waist.
Suho didn’t say anything. Just held him. He ignored the way his heart basically ripped through his chest and went sprinting to god knows where. He just kept his arms around Sieun’s waist, pulling him closer.
He thought that was it. That they were just going to stand there like that, holding each other breathing in sync.
Until Sieun had said—
‘I like you suho-yah”
What the actual fuck.
Suho closed his eyes and screamed internally. Was he dreaming? Was he about to die? Did he get hit by a truck on his way here and now he's floating around in heaven daydreaming where Sieun hugs him, calls his name all sweet like that. Yes, this is heaven. Had to be.
"Oh my god, Sieunie," he finally said, his voice low, rough. "You're going to be the death of me, I swear."
"I love you too," he added, lifting Sieun’s visor up, just enough to press a gentle kiss onto his forehead. They were very much in public, but for once, Suho didn’t mind. Sieun mattered more. Who knows when Sieun might get this affectionate again. He might as well savor it. He leaned in for one more kiss, this time on Sieun’s lips.
"Okay. Let’s go home now."
Sieun nodded and hopped on the bike, wrapping his arms around Suho’s waist and resting his head against his back. And just like that, the Suho who had been fighting sleep, dragging his half dead body around suddenly felt like he just drank fourteen cups of coffee.
Tired? Who was that? He felt fine.
The third time he said one of his unexpected “I like you's", it was a little bit different from the other ones, mainly because it came after a stupid fight. A very stupid one, one that was completely his fault.
Suho sometimes showered at Sieun’s place, whether it was after his shift when he planned to sleep over, or on nights when they just decided to have a sleepover, and yes, while he had his own shampoo, he had always liked the way Sieun’s shampoo smelled. Like chamomile and coconut. He loved that smell on Sieun.
So, even though Sieun had explicitly told him not to touch his stuff, curiosity still got the best of him. He used it anyway.
one thing about Sieun, he hated when people touched his things. didn’t matter if it was his own boyfriend. Rules were rules. So the second Sieun smelled that scent on Suho , he got upset.
“Why did you use it? You have your own,” he said, his voice stern.
“Come on, baby, you’re being dramatic. It’s just shampoo.”
“Dramatic?” Sieun repeated, voice flat. “Okay. Fine.”
Suho didn't know what that necessarily meant or what was coming, but something about the way Sieun said it made his stomach hurt. And for a good reason too.
Because Sieun ignored him the entire night.
When Suho tried talking to him while he was studying, he got nothing. Just silence. He called his name, asked if he was almost done, but all he got was a cold shoulder. And later, when they were getting ready for bed, Sieun left a distance between them under the covers.
Which honestly hurts more than suho would like to admit.
It was stupid. This was stupid. He wanted to fix it, he didn’t want things to stay awkward between them just because of some damn shampoo.
Suho scooted over, closing the gap between them. Sieun’s back was facing him. Still, he reached out, wrapping his arm around Sieun’s waist and pulling him closer.
“Listen, Sieun-ah…” Suho paused, taking a long breath.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just–”
“I told you not to use it.” Sieun sighed, still facing away.
“I know,” Suho admitted quickly. “But it just smelled so good on you, and I wanted that same scent on me.” His voice small. “It’s weird, I know.”
Sieun let out a quiet chuckle and finally turned around to face him. He reached up and cupped Suho’s cheeks gently.
“Definitely weird.” he said with a small smile, “but that's just you. And I like you.”
Suhos' heart felt like it was going to escape for the fifth time.
Sieun leaned in and gave him a soft peck. Short, but somehow to suho, it still felt like a kiss with tongue involved.
“I forgive you,” Sieun said, his face serene. “Just dont touch it again, at least ask, okay?
“Okay.” Suho nodded, feeling a bit relieved.
Sieun smiled, “i love you”
“I love you too.”