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The sun has already begun to set, basking the city of Basel in darkness. It’d been a long and tiring day, the kind that makes you dizzy and lightheaded. The fact it has begun to rain made it only worse. Kyle wanted nothing more than to lay down in bed and rest, however, that was not something easily doable in his current position. The party continued to prolong, and the everpresent noise of people talking, with music playing in the background, was slowly driving him crazy. And so, he’s hiding. Away from the prying questions of interviewers. Away from the whole world. He just needs to regain his strength and push through - at least, that’s what he keeps repeating in hopes of actually believing it… The sound of rain pouring down and cars occasionally passing by was far more pleasant than the constant noise that awaited him back inside. It’s cold, but not cold enough to sit in a jacket. Kyle could even admit that the freezing wind was pleasant against his heated skin. There’s an uncomfortable pressure in his head, and being out in the cold helps it. A lot. Just a few more minutes, and he will be able to go back inside… Probably. Suddenly, there’s steps approaching. Fast. Kyle quickly put himself together. He stopped rubbing his temples and moved them to ruffle his hair instead. He fixed his outfit, smoothing it out with his hands and, finally, put on a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“What are you doing out here all by yourself, sweetie?” He heard Justyna's worried voice. She squatted down next to him and sat down on the curb. Immediately after, she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer, to lean on her. It’s as if she knew he’s having a bad day.
“I just… needed a break from the noise.” Kyle replied with an uncertain shrug. “It’s overwhelming.” He let himself turn his body to her, gently placing his forehead on her shoulder, his eyes involuntarily closing. “My head hurts. I feel like I… want to cry? I think. But I just… can’t.” He sighed and laughed bitterly.
“Oh yes, today was a long day for everyone… I don’t blame you.” She started rubbing his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. It was working wonders. “Everyone needs a break sometimes. It’s okay.” She smiled at him and leaned her head on his… The gesture was so warm, so genuine. All of his previous exhaustion has just… Vanished. It melted away, like frost under the warmth of the sun.
“Yeah…” He whispered back. Before he knew it, his cheeks were wet.
“Let it out.” Justyna shifted his body, so he can rest his head on her thighs. “It’s healthy.” When met with resistance, she gave him a look that made him immediately comply. “It will do you good.” She then started playing with his hair, running her fingers through his locks.
“I’m sorry.” Kyle began, but he was quickly shushed. It was just them there, out in the cold, on that high curb of the sidewalk… Right. There’s no need to hide, or try to play it cool. “I… feel safe. With you. You act like a mom with everyone. It’s hard not to.” He laughed.
“Did I already mention you remind me of my own son? His name is Staś.” She has, but he doesn’t mention it. “ And I see him as just a kid…” She started reminiscing. “Even if you’re both the same age. I can’t help it, the resemblance is just… How do I say it… Ah, whatever.” It was now her turn to let out a laugh. “I think it’s wonderful you’re chasing your dreams and working on that passion for music you have. You’re very brave for auditioning for Eurovision at such a young age. Some may say it’s dumb, but they’re just idiots.” She waved her hand dismissively. “You’re amazing.”
“Well, I think you’re the amazing one.” Kyle opened his eyes. “You’re… what, 52? And you have three children. The performance you chose, the show you’re giving, the fact you’re still singing so clearly when you’re basically exercising on stage… It’s mesmerizing. I would never be able to tell you’re over 50 if you haven’t told us. I’m sure Parg still thinks you’re 25.” He could only see her smile fondly at him before looking out into the distance. There was a brief pause.
“Did you know… I’m actually participating in Eurovision for the second time?” She said, still staring at nothingness as if she were lost in her memories.
“You are?!” His eyes went wide. “Really? What was it like the first time?”
“What was it… Like… 1995? We were in Dublin… Such a beautiful city. I was your age back then, actually.” She looked down at him again. “Maybe I not only see my son, but myself as well, in you, too. I didn’t have much… Support, you could say. And I don’t want you to go through the same thing.” She continued playing with his hair.
Everything made just a little more sense now. Kyle couldn’t believe what he learned. He couldn’t find the right words to reply with… They just held eye contact for a while, before she continued watching the cars pass. After a while, she coaxed him into going back inside. With a kiss on the forehead before they entered the building, she pat him on the shoulder and let him run off and find his friends. That night, he slept well for the first time in a while. Probably since Eurovision preparations started. He kept going back to their conversation, kept reliving it, going over her words and the way she spoke about seeing herself in him. They didn’t have many chances to speak after that, and he found himself growing anxious over it. He enjoyed her company, and really did consider her his adoptive mother. Her smile is so warm, her words are always one of encouragement, the way her eyes light up whenever she speaks with one of the contestants she considers her children… Before he knew it, the final came and went, and he was packing his things, getting ready to go home after he said his goodbyes to everyone he considers dear. Except Justyna. He couldn’t find her anywhere… But thankfully, she found him. A sudden knock has broken him out of his thoughts. He got up to answer it and found her standing right there, in the doorway to his room.
“I’m going back to Poland very soon, and I thought I’ll say goodbye to you before I leave.” She said with a smile as bright as the sun, yet eyes so sad it broke his heart. She opened her arms, and he immediately fell into them, hugging her tightly. “You know…” She started talking, rubbing his back. “I also got 18th place back in 1995. I hope it brings you some closure.” He sighed, his arms only tightening on her. “Goodbye, Kyle.” She kissed his forehead one last time before she ran off after her team.
Kyle wanted to reply, say something, talk a little longer, but they only had a brief moment to actually interact… He didn’t get a chance to thank her for everything she’s done for him before they were already dragging her away, insisting they’ll miss their flight if she stays for any longer. He just stood there, stunned, watching as she walked away, leaving him behind to process his feelings on his own.
“Bye, mom…” He said silently before retreating to his room.
You don’t know what you’ve lost until it’s gone. He hopes that they’ll get to see each other again someday.