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Aki was a smart person. Harumi knew deep down he would figure it all out, put the pieces together, connect all of the dots, and see the darkness in the Ice Prince he always loved.
He just didn’t think it would be so soon.
…
Harumi had gone to the bathroom, leaving Aki alone in the living room. They had been watching a movie and relaxing. Aki noticed he had left his phone on the couch when it started going off. His mind stuttered when he saw his last name in the corner of his vision.
He tapped the phone tentatively, the screen lighting back to life. His eyes widened in suspicion when he read the texts.
Pull any info out of Shiraishi yet?
He could only stare at the television absentmindedly when Harumi returned, “Hey, sorry I took so long.”
Aki ignored him, his eyes fixed forward, unmoving, unresponsive.
“Hey, what’s wrong-”
Another ding from his phone.
He turned to look at it, and felt his throat go dry.
Silence filled the room, cold and unforgiving. They both stayed exactly where they were, not exchanging any words for what felt like hours. Harumi opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His voice muted from dread and fear.
After a long pause, Harumi spoke, his voice trembling with each syllable, “Aki, let me explain-”
He whipped his head from the television to glare at him, “Explain what? That you’ve been using me for this stupid rivalry?! So like hell you better start explaining or we’re done.”
Harumi felt his heart clench in his chest, his eyes watering faintly, his breaths uneven and ragged. His lungs felt like they were contracting, failing to get any air, the walls felt like they were cornering him, imprisoning him on the couch. He felt his heart thumping in his ears, a faint ringing left in each beat’s wake. He put a hand to his chest, hopeless, trying to ask for help but couldn’t. His throat felt tight as his vision swimmed. He never understood the concept of spiralling, not until that moment.
Aki suddenly realized what was happening, kneeling next to Harumi, “Hey, it’s okay, you’re having a panic attack, just try taking deep breaths.”
Harumi locked eyes with him, wide as they stared into Aki’s calm features that were usually stressed. He could only shake his head to indicate it wasn’t working. He felt like an infant that never learned how to breathe, or a fish that never learned how to swim.
Aki held his hand gently, his face unusually composed for his anxious personality, “Inhale for four, 1-2-3-4, hold for four, 1-2-3-4, exhale for six, 1-2-3-4-5-6, wait for two, 1-2.”
He repeated the mantra to Harumi for a couple of minutes until his breaths steadied, his face calmer, the dread and fear passing like a bad storm.
Harumi looked at the floor, guilt pressing at him like a giant weight, “Thanks…”
“It’s alright, I’m just glad you’re okay. Mind explaining now.”
Harumi nodded, his face more determined than ever, “Alright, here it goes…”
…
It was his first birthday in Japan. His first birthday alone. Atleast, it was all that it was meant to be.
Harumi had been eating in a more secluded area, minding his business until a group of his classmates walked up to him, “Hey Kurose.” a girl greeted, her voice filled with deceit and dishonesty.
He glared at them as he attempted to ignore them and go back to eating.
Her smile became filled with mischief as she got closer to him, “Ice Princess, huh? I bet that’s what your American classmates called you.”
He froze as he looked at her with a mix of fear and anger, “What are you trying to say, huh?”
She pulled out her phone and giggled as his face paled at the image, “I’m trying to say that you could get your whole reputation destroyed with a single button. That’s why you left America, isn’t it?”
Go touch grass was at the tip of his tongue, but he kept his glare on her, “What do you want?”
The girl tapped her chin with her phone thoughtfully, as if putting in a lot of effort to remember what she wanted, “You’re going to be the reason Higasa wins this year. All you have to do is befriend this guy and get information from him.”
She showed him an image of Aki. He felt his heart lurch, he was really good looking.
Pushing his thoughts aside, he rolled his eyes, “That’s it?”
“Oh yeah, and don’t get caught, or else you’ll ruin your reputation that way too.”
…
Aki looked at him with sadness in his eyes, “I’m sorry you went through that.”
Harumi shook his head, “I should be apologizing. You didn’t deserve any of this.”
“I was wondering though… Was any of it real?”
Harumi looked at him, “What do you mean?”
Aki locked eyes with him, “Our friendship, was it real?”
Harumi didn’t hesitate to respond, “No. At first it was a small show to put on. Over time, though, you grew on me, you filled the spaces none of those fake asses could. I started making shit up so that I wouldn’t expose you guys. You care . So yes, this is very real, and my love for you is real.”
Oh shit.
He probably didn’t have to put the last part in.
Aki looked at him with bewildered eyes, his face heating up with red, before turning away, “I’m going to be honest, I never thought of you as the kind of guy to fall for men.”
Harumi cocked his eyebrow, “Aki are you fucking serious?”
“W-what?! I thought you were straight!”
“Aki aren’t you straight?” Harumi deadpanned as he slapped his hand over his face.
“Uh no?!” Aki said, his face growing redder by the second.
“Oh. Well, I’m gay. If that wasn’t obvious since like day fucking one.”
“Ah, I’m bi.”
Harumi smirked, “Bilingual? Byesexual?”
Aki whipped his head to him, “Oh shut up!” he cried as he threw a pillow at Harumi.
Harumi laughed as he grabbed a pillow to throw in return.
The two went on like that for a while until their energy was spent, their breaths wasted carelessly, huffing from all the running. They both were laying on the floor of the living room, side by side, staring up at the ceiling in a daze.
Aki turned to Harumi with a warm smile, “I’m glad I get to spend my time with you.”
Harumi felt his heart clench as his cheeks were dusted with pink, “I’m glad too.”