Chapter 1: News article: "The Duke and the Art Dealer"
Summary:
The tabloids have had a field day theorizing about the relationship between these two intriguing figures.
Chapter Text
The London Herald
Breaking News | June 7, 2024
The Duke and the Dealer — An Unlikely Alliance?
By Claudia Wren
The 13th Duke of Halstead, Edward Horniman — fresh from his recent ascension following the mysterious and much-discussed passing of the late Duke — has unexpectedly been spotted at a series of high-profile social events this past month, always accompanied by none other than Susan Glass, an enigmatic and striking woman known to London’s art circles as an up-and-coming art dealer.
The juxtaposition alone would be enough to fuel endless speculation. The Duke, with his old-world aristocratic bearing, sharply tailored suits, and the kind of military posture that suggests years spent in service, alongside Glass, whose fiery gaze and reputation for uncompromising business deals have made her a formidable figure in the art world and, some whisper, beyond.
What is the nature of this unlikely alliance? How did the paths of a reserved nobleman and a dazzling, no-nonsense dealer cross — and why does their partnership have London buzzing?
A Meeting of Worlds
Sources close to the Halstead estate have been tight-lipped, but public appearances offer a tantalizing glimpse into this newly formed duo.
It all began at the Serpentine Gallery’s recent charity auction, where Susie Glass was front and center as a principal organizer. According to several attendees, the Duke arrived late but made an unmistakable entrance, his presence drawing immediate attention. Notably, he was escorted by Ms. Glass, who appeared equally at ease commanding the room and deftly negotiating bids.
One attendee, a well-known art critic who wished to remain anonymous, remarked, “I’ve never seen the Duke mix so effortlessly with the art crowd. And Susie… well, she has the kind of charisma that can convince anyone to part with their wallets.”
Whispers around the event suggest that their connection goes beyond mere coincidence. Could it be a shared passion for art? A strategic alliance? Or perhaps something more personal?
Theories on the Rise
The tabloids have had a field day theorizing about the relationship between these two intriguing figures.
Some suggest that Susie Glass, with her sharp wit and striking looks, is the Duke’s new muse, guiding his transformation from a stoic aristocrat into a man of the world. Others speculate that the Duke, known for his cautious nature, has found in Susie a kind of partner who complements his strategic mind with bold flair.
Then there’s the more sensationalist angle: Is the Duke being drawn into the shadowy world that Glass family allegedly inhabits? The art dealer’s reputation for navigating not only legitimate auctions but also the murkier corners of the art market has long been whispered about in elite circles.
Our sources at the Metropolitan Art Council refuse to comment on these rumors, but one insider quipped, “In the city, partnerships like these rarely happen without a purpose. And the Duke isn’t known for frivolity.”
A Glimpse at the Duo’s Dynamics
Observers of their public appearances describe a fascinating dynamic: sharp banter exchanged over champagne flutes, subtle glances hinting at deep understanding, and a shared confidence that commands attention.
At the London Film Festival gala last week, the two were inseparable, discussing everything from investment portfolios to art provenance with a synergy that left onlookers whispering about a possible merger of their worlds.
One society columnist wrote, “It’s as if two very different chess players have sat down at the same board, and the city is waiting with bated breath to see the first move.”
The Public Reaction: Love? Partnership? Both?
The social media response has been equally divided and colorful.
#DukeAndDealer has been trending on Twitter, with memes ranging from romantic comedy posters to clever jabs at what some see as an unlikely coupling.
Instagram accounts dedicated to society gossip are flooded with photos, many accompanied by captions such as:
“When aristocracy meets street savvy.”
“Duke + Dealer = Power Couple Goals?”
“Is London witnessing the start of a new dynasty?”
Fans speculate endlessly on whether their connection is romantic, professional, or a delicious blend of both.
What Does This Mean for Halstead Estate?
For the more serious-minded, this partnership signals a potential shift in the stewardship of one of Britain’s most storied estates.
The Duke’s reputation as a traditionalist has been challenged by his recent choices. Susie Glass’s reputation for boldness and savvy business acumen may indicate a modernization of the estate’s operations, possibly in directions previously unimagined.
Could this alliance redefine the role of aristocracy in a modern world? Could the old and new, tradition and innovation, blend to create something formidable?
The Gossip: How Did They Meet?
Rumors abound. One particularly fanciful tale tells of the Duke rescuing Susie from a minor art heist gone awry — a scene straight out of a period drama. Another suggests they were introduced by a mutual acquaintance during a golf match, bonding over a shared disdain for tedious social conventions.
In truth, sources close to the pair hint at a more prosaic beginning: Ms Glass worked closely with the late Duke in the recent years. It is very probable that he became the matchmaker.
The Final Word
While London speculates, the truth remains firmly under wraps. What is clear is that Edward Horniman and Susie Glass have captured the city’s imagination — two figures from vastly different worlds united by something that remains a mystery to the public eye.
Whether this is a fleeting alliance, a grand romance, or the start of a new chapter for Halstead estate, only time will tell.
What really happened:
The Serpentine auction wasn’t a coincidence — it was a cover.
Behind the glittering wine glasses and million-pound bids, Susie and Eddie had orchestrated the entire event for two very practical reasons: to draw public attention away from their rapidly expanding cannabis operation under the aristocratic estates, and to clean a rather inconvenient stack of untraceable cash piling up from said operation.
Art, after all, was ideal for creative bookkeeping. A handful of inflated purchases, a few anonymous offshore buyers, and voilà — dirty money became culture.
They discussed this exact point the morning after the gala, seated in Eddie’s study over hot tea and the Halstead Herald splayed open on the desk between them.
“She’s calling you my muse,” Eddie muttered, pointing at a paragraph with something between horror and amusement.
Susie smirked, scrolling through her phone. “And I’m apparently your scandalous dealer-slash-miracle-worker who taught you how to network with ‘the art crowd.’ Honestly, I should invoice you.”
“I can’t believe this is working.”
“Of course it’s working,” Susie said, lounging back with the confidence of someone who’d pulled off far worse. “We gave them something shiny to look at. Public loves a scandal, but they adore a narrative. Give them a duchess-in-the-making and they’ll stop asking where all the money come from.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “And if they start asking?”
Susie tapped the newspaper. “Then we give them another article. Preferably one with me in a dress and you looking like a confused bloodhound.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “You do realize they think this is a romance.”
She leaned forward, deadpan. “It is. Between two people and a tax loophole.”
Their dynamic — sharp, unorthodox, and increasingly effective — was no accident. They weren’t in this for appearances. They were in it for survival, empire-building, and rewriting the rules of who got to hold power in Britain. The art auction was just the first move.
And judging by the headlines, it worked beautifully.
Chapter 2: Society Gossip — “Susie Glass: From Doctorate to Boss”
Summary:
It is a rare thing to find a woman equally comfortable in stilettos and a boxing ring, but Susan Glass is nothing if not rare.
Chapter Text
The London Herald
Breaking News | June 7, 2024
Society Gossip — “Susie Glass: From Doctorate to Boss”
By Claudia Wren
It is a rare thing to find a woman equally comfortable in stilettos and a boxing ring, but Susan Glass is nothing if not rare. The enigmatic businesswoman, frequent plus-one of the 13th Duke of Halstead, and recent feature in Serpentine's art charity circuit, is quickly becoming the subject of hushed dinner party debates across Mayfair.
From Academia to Art Auctions
Ms. Glass was once a doctoral candidate in art history, a promising academic focused on the intersection of violence and aesthetics in postwar European movements. Her dissertation — reportedly titled “The Poetics of Ruin: Violence and Form in Postwar Abstraction” — was already garnering attention from certain elite galleries.
But the trajectory took a dramatic pivot when her father, Robert "Bobby" Glass, was imprisoned for financial misconduct and alleged ties to unsavory elements of London's underbelly. Susie abandoned her thesis and returned to London, disappearing for a time from the social radar.
She reemerged, not as a scholar, but as a sharp-suited art dealer and business strategist. Her gallery, GlassHouse London, is now a by-appointment-only venue for high-end, provocative art. Sources say she personally curates the collection and has cultivated a loyal base of "edgy aristos and eccentric oligarchs."
The Boxing Boss
Perhaps more curious than her art dealings is her ownership of GlassKnuckle, an exclusive boxing club located in a repurposed warehouse in Camden. The club has become something of a cult favorite among London’s new money and tech elite. Membership is selective and expensive, and the fights are rumored to attract discreet bets from names best kept off paper.
Her brother Jack Glass, a minor tabloid celebrity in his own right (mostly due to his shirtless Instagram videos and succession of interchangeable girlfriends), trains at GlassKnuckle and occasionally appears in the ring. But according to insiders, Jack’s training has taken on a new intensity. His camp quietly confirmed he’s on track to enter the professional boxing circuit later this year. A controversial move, to be sure — but one that only adds to the allure of the GlassKnuckle mystique.
"Jack's got real fire," one trainer told us anonymously. "But it’s Susie who lights the match. She runs the whole thing like it’s a Swiss bank vault — controlled, elite, and no room for bullshit."
Susie, ever the composed businesswoman, has never fought publicly but is said to run the club with the precision of a financier and the taste of a Milanese gallerist.
The Duchess Effect
Since her public appearances with Edward Horniman, 13th Duke of Halstead, society's fascination with Susie Glass has deepened. The press is split between curiosity and apprehension. Is she his lover? His advisor? A scandal in stilettos or the duchess-in-waiting?
"She’s got influence over him," one anonymous source (a former Horniman family friend with a penchant for dry martinis) whispered over lunch. "Not that he minds. You should hear him talk about her. It’s all 'Susie says this' and 'Susie thinks that.' It's like she's rewiring the estate."
Indeed, the Halstead estate has undergone visible changes. Some say there’s more structure to the operations. Others whisper of money flowing smoother than it has in decades. The Duke's public image has shifted from awkward aristocrat to decisive operator. Coincidence? Doubtful.
Glass Houses and Power Plays
Some critics remain skeptical of Susie's sudden rise. "She’s too perfect," a society columnist for The Telegraph remarked anonymously. "There has to be more to her story. You don't go from doctoral studies to curating violent expressionism and rubbing elbows with nobility without breaking a few rules."
And yet, no one can find a misstep. Her taxes are clean. Her gallery is legal. The boxing club operates just within the lines. There’s no social media trail beyond curated event photos. And her name never appears in leaked documents or financial scandals.
Her charity contributions are quietly substantial. Her client list includes celebrities, diplomats, and a former MI6 officer. In one infamous gala dinner last month, she allegedly outbid a Russian oligarch for a Banksy piece — and then donated it to a refugee support auction.
As one fashion blogger summed up on TikTok: "She’s giving Boss Bitch Energy, but like, Victorian villainess in couture. I’m obsessed."
Reader Comments, Curated from The London Herald Website:
@ChelsRutherford: Honestly? Icon. I'd let her ruin my credit score.
@TeaWithLadyJane: This Glass woman is dangerous. We all know it. But so was Wallis Simpson, and look how that turned out.
@ArtIsWarrior42: Visited GlassHouse gallery last month. Never seen a Rothko look menacing before. Genius vibes.
@LordMeddleton: It is a disgrace that our Duke is fraternizing with the daughter of a known criminal. Standards, people!
@HalsteadWatcher: Not saying she’s running the estate, but those new solar panels didn’t install themselves.
@PunchyPete: Jack Glass going pro?? He’s the real deal. Saw him spar once. Guy’s lethal.
What really happened:
Susie Glass didn’t mind being the center of the article for once. In fact, she welcomed it.
Jack’s latest fling had ended with a champagne bottle, two screaming influencers, and a TikTok breakup livestream that got picked up by several tabloids. For three days, she couldn’t open her phone without seeing her brother's abs next to phrases like "Instagram Casanova" and "Boxing Bootycall."
So when the London Herald reached out about doing a feature on her, Susie made sure they got the narrative right. Just polished enough to pass the sniff test, just vague enough to avoid deeper questions.
"You’re welcome," she told Eddie, tossing the article onto his desk. He grinned.
"For stealing the spotlight or for babysitting your brother’s PR disaster?"
"Both," Susie replied, crossing her legs. "But mostly for making 'art dealer and socialite' sound better than 'money-laundering logistics specialist'. Honestly, the doctorate angle gives me gravitas."
"And distracts from Jack’s sexcapades," Eddie added, sipping his coffee.
"Exactly. The more they write about me, the less they bother sniffing around the docks — or that real estate trust we set up in Gibraltar."
"Public relations as redirection," Eddie mused. "Elegant."
"Flawless," Susie corrected, arching an eyebrow. "And I even got them to mention the Banksy. Makes me look philanthropic."
"You are philanthropic," Eddie said with mock sincerity.
"Only when it pays dividends."
And the best part? Jack hadn’t been mentioned once.
Just the way she liked it.
Chapter 3: Viral Social Media Post — “#DukeAndDealer: Power Couple or Conspiracy?”
Summary:
They're hot, dangerous, and confusing. Just like my taste in men.
Chapter Text
BuzzBrit Newswire
Trending by Evie McNair, Pop Culture & Gossip EditorJust when we thought the Duke of Halstead couldn’t surprise us more, the internet has once again lost its collective mind over the latest escapades of Edward Horniman and his endlessly enigmatic companion, Susie Glass. The duo, already tabloid darlings thanks to their art-world-meets-aristo dynamic, have sparked a fresh wave of speculation with a viral post that has launched a thousand memes.
The Photo That Broke Twitter (And Instagram, And TikTok)
It began, as these things do, with a single photo.
Taken by a confused and thoroughly delighted backpacker outside an abandoned manor house in Cornwall, the shot shows Eddie Horniman in a tuxedo — slightly rumpled, bowtie untied, scowl in full effect — holding the door open for Susie Glass, who is stepping out of a black SUV in what appears to be a cocktail dress and combat boots.
She’s holding a duffel bag. He’s holding a crowbar.
Within hours, the image was everywhere.
@debbiedeluxe: Tell me this isn’t the best couple photo of the decade. #DukeAndDealer
@gutterpoetry: Me and who I tell people not to worry about.
@hallofmemes: When you have a charity gala at 7 but gotta break kneecaps at 8.
@crownconspiracies: Why is the Duke of Halstead visiting bombed-out houses with a woman known for art crimes? Is this how revolutions start?
@murderchic101: Susie Glass is my Roman Empire.
#DukeAndDealer trended for 48 hours, racking up over 17 million uses across platforms. Theories abounded: they were hunting for a lost Banksy mural; it was a scene for an upcoming Netflix documentary; they were secret vigilantes; they were filming a fashion campaign.
But the most enduring theory came courtesy of a now-infamous TikTok video posted by @baronessofbanter, who claimed to have overheard the pair arguing in a motorway service station outside Reading.
The Quote That Launched a Thousand Fan Edits:
"You didn't have to throw the Molotov, Susie. We had a schedule."
Set to a slowed-down Lana Del Rey track, the video featured dramatic black-and-white shots of Susie lighting a cigarette and Eddie rubbing his temples in frustration. The comments section exploded:
@chaoticroyalty: They fight like spies. I’m obsessed.
@halsteadtruthers: This is 100% a metaphor for late-stage capitalism and the death of aristocracy.
@susieglassfan69: She’s so real for that.
Even brands got involved:
Greggs tweeted, "Whether it's sausage rolls or sabotage, we support all power couples. #DukeAndDealer"
Burberry reposted the photo with the caption: Elegance is a weapon. And sometimes, so is a crowbar.
Media Response: “A Dangerous Liaison or Strategic Alliance?”
The broadsheets couldn't resist weighing in. The Telegraph published a cautiously worded editorial:
It is concerning to see a member of the peerage so openly involved in the activities of a woman whose background includes ties to questionable business ventures. However, one must acknowledge the modernisation of aristocracy demands adaptation. And, perhaps, allies.
Meanwhile, The Guardian offered a more romantic take:
In a world where gendered expectations still define who holds power, the image of Ms. Glass and the Duke standing shoulder to shoulder (and armed) feels oddly empowering.
The Meme Economy Explodes
Within days, Etsy shops were selling "Duke & Dealer" merch — tote bags, mugs, T-shirts with the quote in cursive. Someone even designed a mock movie poster for a fictional heist film titled "Estate of Emergency."
A particularly viral video set the entire photo to a "Great British Bake Off" voiceover, casting Eddie as a fussy judge and Susie as a saboteur contestant.
And yet, through all this, neither Eddie nor Susie made a single public statement. Their silence only fueled more interest.
Reader Comments, Curated from BuzzBrit:
@LottieLikesDrama: They're hot, dangerous, and confusing. Just like my taste in men.
@LordOfTheWeedManor: My money’s on them being criminal masterminds. This is a distraction, I swear.
@CulturedChav: This is modern nobility. Crowbars and couture.
@JustSaying98: Low-key think Susie could take Bond in a fight. And Eddie would pay the bail.
@MemesBeforeMorals: I’m shipping them so hard I might need a passport.
What Really Happened:
They were cleaning up a mess. Two of them, actually.
A cartel rep from Monterrey had shown too much interest in Susie’s operations near the Thames. Meanwhile, a Russian investor with ties to less-than-legal energy firms tried sniffing around Halstead's newly "clean" revenue streams.
"I told you we should've handled the Russian first," Eddie said as he changed out of his tuxedo shirt in the car.
"And I told you I didn’t like his shoes. Men with tassels are unpredictable."
The trip had involved a decoy auction, two burner phones, a warehouse rendezvous in Cornwall, and yes, a Molotov cocktail. (It missed. Mostly.)
"Well, at least no one's asking about the tunnel under the estate now," Eddie muttered.
"That’s the genius of it," Susie said, kicking off her combat boots. "They think we're eccentric. Not dangerous."
Eddie raised a brow. "We are dangerous."
"Exactly. But we look fabulous while doing it."
She tapped her phone, already watching the memes roll in. She smiled.
"Let them think we’re playing dress-up."
He glanced at the crowbar still in the back seat. "That photo's going to haunt us."
"Nah," Susie said. "It’ll protect us."
Chapter 4: Feature Interview — “Eddie Horniman Speaks Out”
Chapter Text
Feature Interview — “Eddie Horniman Speaks Out: ‘I’m Not What You Think’”
The Gazette
by Quentin Elmsley, Editor-in-ChiefIt is a rare thing indeed when Edward Horniman, 13th Duke of Halstead, grants an interview. For months, the press has been left to speculate, interpret, and extrapolate from grainy pap shots and cryptic social media sightings. But now, seated in the marbled atrium of GlassHouse London art gallery, flanked by a polished secretary and sipping something suspiciously herbal, the Duke is ready to talk.
"I’m not what people think," he says, adjusting the cuffs of his navy suit. "I didn’t set out to be a spectacle. Or a scandal. But here we are."
The Art of the Partnership
His partnership with Susie Glass — art dealer, society wildcard, and unofficial Queen of Camden — has fueled headlines, hashtags, and high-society side-eyes. But Eddie insists it’s all business.
"Susie has one of the most refined artistic sensibilities I’ve encountered," he says. "She sees value where others see chaos. That’s a rare gift — and a savvy one."
He gestures around the gallery. "GlassHouse isn’t just a gallery. It’s a curated cultural statement. It challenges power. History. Violence. And people pay attention."
When asked about the rumors of a romantic relationship, he smiles faintly. "People see two competent individuals collaborating and assume there’s more. We’ve built a strong business alliance. I admire her vision. She’s… unexpected."
The Charity Circuit and Reputation Games
In the past year, Eddie has quietly increased his philanthropic footprint. A recent event at the Royal Opera House — co-sponsored by GlassHouse — raised over £1.2 million for post-incarceration arts therapy programs.
"I care about systemic reform," he says. "That may sound odd coming from someone with a hereditary title, but I think that makes it more important."
Sources confirm that the Duke has also set up a cultural development grant for emerging artists from underrepresented backgrounds. The fund’s anonymous backers are widely suspected to include Susie Glass.
The press, of course, has not been kind.
"You can’t control perception," Eddie notes, eyes flicking briefly toward a nearby print of Decapitated Monarchs No. 3. "But you can use it."
Subtext and Signals
What’s harder to miss are the subtle nods throughout the conversation — the strategic name-dropping, the practiced diplomacy. There is an unmistakable performance underway: not dishonest, but deliberate. Edward is crafting an image. A narrative. One where he is a modern nobleman: shrewd, charitable, a little enigmatic.
But between the lines? A flicker of calculation. When asked about a recent string of unexplained absences from both the estate and several London events, he chuckles.
"I went to Bruges," he says. "Lovely waffles. Even better company."
A single photo surfaced from that trip — the Duke, in a tailored peacoat, standing beside Princess Rosanne, the Countess of Tournai, laughing at something off-camera. Social media did what it does: speculated wildly.
"Rosie’s family and mine go back generations," Eddie explains, skimming the topic with practiced finesse. "She's practically a cousin."
He doesn't mention that the Countess had been seen the week before having lunch with Susie Glass at a low-profile Sicilian restaurant in Soho.
Reader Comments, Curated from The Gazette Website:
@TeaWithLadyJane: He’s definitely hiding something. No one uses the word 'curated' that many times in a sentence unless they’re running a secret empire.
@BuckinghamBrat: So they’re not dating? Please. That’s what every power couple says until they get caught on a yacht.
@GalleryGoblin: Eddie knows how to serve modern aristocrat with a splash of Tumblr philosopher. I’d buy it.
@RosanneWatch: Forget Susie. It’s the Belgian princess for me. That coat moment? Oscar-worthy.
@VicarOfVibes: Honestly I ship all three. It’s giving diplomatic ménage.
What Really Happened:
Eddie hadn’t meant to cause a diplomatic incident. Not technically. But when Princess Rosanne, the Countess of Tournai and 11th in line to the Belgian throne, began visiting London with unusual frequency, tongues wagged — and Susie’s jaw clenched.
The Countess had always been close with the Horniman family — educated in England, summers at the estate, letters exchanged between their grandmothers. But now, with tensions rising around a shared port logistics deal and too many criminal syndicates showing interest in Eddie and Susie's hidden operations, timing was everything.
So Eddie used the press.
He staged the interview, emphasized the partnership with Susie, dropped breadcrumbs about family ties to Rosanne, and framed everything as culture, charity, and clever branding.
Meanwhile, Susie had lunch with Rosanne — a neutral meeting, subtle diplomacy over wine and arancini — and laid the groundwork for keeping royal scrutiny off their actual ventures.
"I’m not jealous," Susie had said afterward. "But I am territorial."
"She’s harmless," Eddie replied.
"So is smallpox, until it spreads."
Now the gossip had swerved away from their real business. Just as planned.
Chapter 5: Leaked Police Report — “Operation Green Veil: Susie Glass Under Surveillance”
Summary:
Imagine being so powerful you gaslight the police into becoming your PR team.
Chapter Text
Classified Internal Memo
Metropolitan Police Department, Financial Crimes Division
Report Compiled by DCI Bernard Quilley
Date:Confidential— Leak Dated May 2025Operation Green Veil — Subject: Susie Glass
Background: Susie Glass, owner of GlassHouse London art gallery and GlassKnuckle Boxing Club, has been identified as a person of interest in ongoing investigations concerning money laundering and suspected ties to organized criminal enterprises. Her imprisoned father, Robert “Bobby” Glass, maintained extensive connections to illicit networks before his arrest in 2019. Intelligence suggests a possible inheritance of influence and logistical channels.Observation Summary: Weeks 1–4
Art Gallery Movements:
Subject opened GlassHouse London for three exclusive events.
Attendees included foreign dignitaries, art critics, and tech investors.
Security footage shows no suspicious behavior; client transactions above board.
Gallery books and records reviewed by Forensic Accountancy Taskforce — clean.
Boxing Club Operations:
Subject visited GlassKnuckle four times a week; meetings held with trainers, fighters, and facility contractors.
Surveillance shows minor cash exchanges, all consistent with legal operations.
Club appears to be prepping for high-profile sponsorship deals and Jack Glass’s professional boxing debut.
Additional Observation — Case 002:
Subject traveled to York for an unpublicized dinner with the Italian ambassador’s wife and a Belgian art dealer.
No known criminal ties.
Returned with signed commitments for a youth arts exchange program.
Additional Observation — Case 003:
Glass met twice at the Chiltern Firehouse with one Lana Dominguez, a high-end luxury arms heiress rumored to fund underground racing leagues in Monaco.
Meeting context: philanthropy auction sponsorship. Paper trail confirms donation.
Communications:
Monitored digital and cellular lines (Court-Ordered).
No evidence of encrypted or covert communications.
High traffic volume of mundane logistical correspondence: art shipments, catering orders, maintenance scheduling, etc.
Frequent messages exchanged with Edward Horniman, 13th Duke of Halstead. Tone: casual, personal, mainly business-oriented.
Financial Overview:
Transactions through Gibraltar Real Estate Holding remain within lawful thresholds.
No red flags from HMRC. No cross-border inconsistencies.
Charitable donations verified through legitimate NGOs.
Conclusion: After 30 days of surveillance, no prosecutable offense has been identified. Recommend discontinuation of surveillance unless new evidence emerges.
Leaked Excerpts from Internal Chats — Police Surveillance Team:
@ConstableJules: She just booked 20 crates of vintage Sancerre for an art show? That’s not criminal, that’s goals.
@DIGrant: Honestly starting to think she’s just scarily efficient. Her emails come with hyperlinks, receipts, and mood boards.
@Quilley: Still think she’s hiding something. No one’s that clean unless they’re very, very dirty.
@KumarForensics: Mate, she labels her invoices with emojis. This woman is either an evil genius or my dream PA.
@SurvDrone43: Why is she delivering tandoori to a mechanic's garage in Hackney at midnight?
@PCNadineR: She’s been to the same florist six times in ten days. Is that code? Or just extremely curated vibes?
The Daily Rook
by Allegra Foy, Investigative Columnist
“Green Veil Fizzles: Susie Glass Cleared Amid Leaked Police Watchlist”Well, well. The Metropolitan Police, it seems, had their eyes trained on Susie Glass — and came up empty. According to leaked documents, a covert surveillance op named Operation Green Veil kept tabs on Glass for over a month.
The result? No charges. No scandal. Just a very busy woman with an absurdly well-organized calendar.
Her daily activities — gallery curations, boxing club meetings, charity phone calls, catering decisions — suggest a woman who’s more likely to be seen balancing receipts than trafficking contraband.
This isn’t to say the rumour mill’s gone quiet. On the contrary. The leak sparked another wave of speculation:
Is Susie the mastermind who’s simply too smart to catch?
Or is she the victim of a witch hunt, caught in the crosshairs of her father’s sins?
Why does she keep appearing next to high-profile men with diplomatic immunity?
Theories abound. None stick. And once again, Ms. Glass walks through fire wearing heels and comes out smelling like neroli and cleverness.
Anonymous Twitter Thread (@GreenVeilLeaks)
OP: Surveillance logs on Susie Glass read like a lifestyle blog. She has a separate planner for her plants.
@TeaTruthLondon: Can someone explain why the MET is wasting taxpayer funds to stalk a woman buying matcha?
@GlovesOffPodcast: Jack Glass is gonna be in the pro ring soon. They’re trying to kneecap the family momentum.
@DukeAndDealerWatch: The Duke is definitely in on it. But not in a crime way. In a hot power couple way.
@BasilInstinct: Tbh I’d let her commit tax fraud on my behalf. And do it in stilettos.
@YasQueenSusie: Susie Glass is my Roman Empire. I think about her daily.
Comment Section of The Daily Rook
@DameDryWit: Honestly, I’d be more surprised if she wasn’t under surveillance. The woman’s too sharp to be boring.
@ShadyTeaSpiller: Susie Glass is a villain I root for. Like if Lady Macbeth had a good skincare routine.
@HalsteadIsMine: Eddie and Susie are obviously criminal masterminds. But like, chill ones. Cool crimes.
@TonyFromTottenham: She’s clean. Bet she even recycles her wine bottles.
@WindsorWhispers: Plot twist: she's secretly running MI5.
@NoirBabe99: Her outfits alone could indict a cabinet minister.
@SpareHeir: Imagine being so powerful you gaslight the police into becoming your PR team.
What Really Happened:
The Glasses knew. Of course they did. You don’t grow up in that world without learning to count the watchers before they step into place.
By the time Operation Green Veil was greenlit, Susie already had three different informants feeding her updates from inside the department. One was a desk sergeant she used to flirt with at her father’s trial. Another was a bored junior analyst addicted to expensive cigars. The third? Well, no one talks about the third.
Every move Susie made during the surveillance was calculated. She dressed the part. Acted the part. Let them follow her to the boxing club. Let them log her donations. Even took Eddie to lunch at a charity that teaches poetry to ex-cons. A perfect photo op.
"They want to see me doing something?" she’d said to Eddie, sipping elderflower tonic. "Then I’ll give them something to watch."
"You’re building a myth," Eddie replied. "And letting them write it."
"It’s the best kind," she smiled. "Because they’ll defend it when it suits them."
No one ever found the burner phone in the bonsai planter. Or the ledger locked inside the false floor of her art storage unit. Or the very real influence she exerted through one seemingly innocent gala invitation at a time.
The operation didn’t just fail. It strengthened her alibi. And Susie made sure of it.
Chapter 6: "Continental Drift: Susie & The Duke Take Europe by Storm" Feature
Summary:
Susie called it a market scouting tour. Eddie called it a romantic alibi.
Chapter Text
"Continental Drift: Susie & The Duke Take Europe by Storm"
Feature by Lena Cross, Senior Correspondent at The Daily Whisper
London may have just gotten a little quieter, but the European tabloids are in full roar. Reports are flooding in from Amsterdam, Zurich, Nice, and Milan — all tracking one unlikely pair: Susie Glass and Edward Horniman, the 13th Duke of Halstead. The duo were allegedly spotted across the continent, sometimes photographed together, other times merely passing through luxurious hotels, whispered about at exclusive parties, or seen entering the back doors of private clubs.
This new flurry of attention follows hot on the Louboutin heels of Operation Green Veil, a now-defunct surveillance initiative targeting Susie Glass. Though the operation turned up no criminal charges, it certainly turned up curiosity.
And now, with international gossip columns fanning the flames, the question on everyone’s lips is simple: Are Susie Glass and the Duke more than just business partners? Or is there something... darker beneath the surface?
A Timeline of Temptation?
May 3rd - Amsterdam: The pair are spotted at the Rijksmuseum, allegedly in discussion with a Dutch art curator. Rumors fly about an acquisition for GlassHouse London’s upcoming "Borders and Bylines" exhibit.
May 6th - Zurich: CCTV shows them entering a private banking club after hours. The local news speculates on a philanthropic fund. Internet sleuths suggest offshore accounts.
May 8th - Nice: A yacht moored off the coast is registered to Halstead Holdings. A drone photo captures Eddie in swimming trunks and Susie in a fitting swimsuit and sunglasses sipping something orange and suspiciously expensive.
May 10th - Milan: They are photographed exiting a side entrance of a fashion house, looking far too coordinated in their monochrome outfits. The stylist to the stars claims they are just previewing a new capsule collection.
"The Duke and the Dealer" Goes International
Already a favorite subject among internet conspiracy theorists and idle gossipmongers, the duo’s apparent jaunt through Europe has added jet fuel to the fire.
From Reddit to Reels, commentary abounds:
@RoyalRogueTruth: They went from dodging cops to dodging customs. That’s not a vacation, that’s a smuggling route.
@EddiesExhausted: Not saying she’s a criminal, but when was the last time an art dealer needed seven burner phones and a fake passport?
@SassyClassyGlass: She’s just trying to teach Eddie how to dress in Italy. Let her work.
Whispers from Westminster
While neither party has publicly addressed the European escapade, several unnamed government officials have reportedly taken interest. A member of Parliament was overheard referring to Eddie as "a polite liability" while another insisted he was "simply out of touch with optics."
A Home Office insider leaked the following:
"They aren’t doing anything strictly illegal... but their presence draws attention. And attention invites enemies."
Which begs the question: enemies of whom?
Glass Under the Looking Glass
Despite her PhD in Art History and the recent success of GlassHouse London, many in media have long treated Susie Glass with skepticism. The legacy of her father, Robert Glass, casts a long shadow. And her ability to move through aristocratic circles with the poise of a duchess and the efficiency of a drill sergeant continues to rattle traditionalists.
According to one former schoolmate of Susie’s from her days at Cambridge:
"She always knew how to play the room. Professors adored her. Rivals feared her. But the rest of us? We just tried to keep up."
Romance or Ruse?
Social media has run wild with interpretations. A leaked grainy image of Eddie gently tucking a lock of hair behind Susie’s ear at an outdoor café in Zurich has been reposted over 400,000 times.
The comments speak for themselves:
@MonarchMadness: Tell me that’s not the face of a man whipped.
@BoxingBabeUK: She lets him pay for lunch and plan logistics. That’s true power.
@GlassActFanfic: She kills a man with a glance and he carries her hand sanitizer.
Not to be outdone, The Daily Whisper commissioned a body language expert to "analyze" their yacht photo:
"There’s definite chemistry. He leans toward her, she keeps her body open. Trust. Comfort. Mutual ambition."
Latest from GlassKnuckle
Meanwhile, back in London, Susie’s younger brother Jack Glass is reportedly training harder than ever as he prepares for his professional boxing debut this summer.
Trainer reports:
"He’s focused. Real focused. Susie checks in every other day, even from abroad. You can tell the Glasses play long games."
A leaked gym memo reveals that sponsorship interest has increased 40% since the European headlines broke. Coincidence? Perhaps not.
Financial Fog
Though no illegal financial movement has been uncovered, international watchdogs are now casually monitoring Eddie and Susie’s combined holdings.
According to a retired Swiss bank manager:
"They haven’t broken any laws. But let’s just say their portfolios are... athletic. Agile. And very good at staying in motion."
Comment Section of The Daily Whisper
@TinfoilTom: This is MI6 bait. You don’t yacht around Europe with a Glass unless you’re planning something.
@PeachBelliniTruth: This isn’t romance. This is art.
@DuchessWatch: I ship them. Royal adjacent chaos couple. Get married at Burning Man.
@SergeantTea: Look at their travel itinerary. It’s not a love story. It’s a logistics tour.
@HighSocietySpills: If she opens a GlassHouse pop-up in Paris, I’m rioting (and buying tickets).
What Really Happened:
Susie and Eddie didn’t set out to go on a romantic European vacation. They were working. Hard.
The weed operation — still invisible to law enforcement thanks to layers of insulation and flawless paperwork — had hit a snag. Border transport across the Channel was getting harder. A few too many questions from customs officers. A delay in Amsterdam. A missing crate in Lyon.
"If we want to keep the flow," Susie said, flipping through maps on her tablet, "we need friendlier channels. And more mouths to feed."
Eddie leaned over. "You thinking expansion?"
"I’m thinking distribution partners," she replied. "We can’t grow forever in England. But we can sell further. Art isn’t the only thing with provenance."
So they mapped a route. Gallery stops that served as excuses. Gallery deals that opened doors. Private tastings that doubled as negotiations. Hotels that hosted meetings behind antique tapestries. Yacht trips where they scoped out southern buyers.
Susie called it a market scouting tour. Eddie called it a romantic alibi.
They both knew it was working when the photos started to leak. And every pixel misdirected attention from what really mattered: The product kept moving. Quietly. Profitably. Elegantly. Arictocratically, one may say.
Chapter 7: Opinion Piece "The Future of Halstead — Will the Duke and Susie Survive the Storm?"
Summary:
What began as whispered rumors about their association has grown into a full-blown storm of social intrigue, political maneuvering, and mounting opposition from the old guard.
Chapter Text
The London Ledger
By Helena Carrington, Senior Correspondent
Date: June 12, 2025The House of Halstead is Under Siege
In the manic swirl of London's elite, the name Horniman has long been synonymous with aristocratic tradition, wealth, and quiet, controlled influence. But recent months have seen an unprecedented upheaval at the 13th Duke of Halstead’s doorstep — in the form of a fiery new partner: Susie Glass.
What began as whispered rumors about their association has grown into a full-blown storm of social intrigue, political maneuvering, and mounting opposition from the old guard. The stakes are high, and the future of the Horniman legacy hangs in delicate balance.
“When Tradition Meets Revolution”
Eddie Horniman, 13th Duke of Halstead, is no stranger to controversy — his youth was marked by scandals, and his return to prominence has been equally tempestuous. However, his alignment with Susie Glass, art dealer and boxing club proprietor, seems to have exacerbated tensions with entrenched aristocrats and political rivals alike.
“Susie represents a new breed of influence,” comments Lord Percival Ashcombe, a peer and longtime critic of the Duke’s recent ventures. “She is sharp, ambitious, and unafraid to challenge the old ways. This threatens not only the Horniman family’s reputation but the entire establishment.”
Many in the upper echelons view Susie’s rapid ascent — from a doctorate in art history to a figure commanding equal footing with the Duke — as a disruption to the delicate balance of tradition and power.
Whispers from Within the Horniman Circle
Sources close to the Horniman family indicate that the internal pressure is mounting as well. Several acquaintances have privately expressed concern that the Duke must formalize his relationship with Susie — or risk losing his standing.
“Family friends have suggested it’s time Edward makes a choice,” says an insider who wishes to remain anonymous. “There’s talk of introducing him to other potential spouses, daughters of other influential families who might better ‘fit the mold.’ Invitations to exclusive galas and charity events are being sent out strategically, to test his loyalties.”
The implication is clear: if Eddie does not commit — be it through marriage or a public declaration — the old guard may withdraw their support.
"A House Divided"
At the same time, reports suggest the Duke’s allies remain cautiously supportive but wary of the long-term consequences of his partnership with Susan Glass.
“Eddie has always walked the tightrope between tradition and change,” notes political analyst Marina Blake. “Susie’s presence brings vitality, but also unpredictability. The opposition is rallying; the whispers of scandal, rivalry, and power plays are louder than ever.”
Social Media Storm: #HalsteadHearts or #HalsteadHazard?
As the aristocratic drama unfolds behind closed doors, the public reaction has been just as fervent online.
@OldMoneyWatcher: “Susie Glass is the Duke’s Achilles’ heel. Traditional families don’t let outsiders play their game.”
@BoxingBelleJack: “Jack Glass is gonna knock the opposition out before his dad even thinks about it. Keep your eyes on the ring!”
@RoyalWatcher_99: “The Duke better decide soon — his ‘partner’ is stirring up more than just the art world.”
@SusieStansUnite: “Susie’s more than just a ‘partner’. She’s a power player. Watch this space. #PowerCoupleGoals”
The Sunday Scandal Tabloid
“Halstead’s High Stakes: Will the Duke Lose His Crown or His Heart?”
The tabloids have gone wild with speculative stories of secret meetings, aristocratic conspiracies, and whispered ultimatums delivered at candlelit dinners. Rumors swirl about clandestine efforts to undermine Susie’s influence — from subtle social snubs to direct challenges in public forums.
A persistent narrative is the notion that the Duke faces an ultimatum: conform to the expectations of his class or risk alienation.
Opinion Piece: “Susie Glass and the Changing Face of British Aristocracy”
By Jasper Fleetwood, Cultural Commentator
Love her or hate her, Susie Glass is a symbol of a new era. Her intellect, charm, and boldness unsettle an establishment steeped in rigid tradition. While some deride her as an opportunist, others see in her the future of British aristocracy — a fusion of old lineage and new power.
The real question is whether the Horniman family and their peers can adapt — or whether they will crumble under the pressure of change.
“Behind Closed Doors: The Duke’s Inner Circle Weighs In”
Confidential sources suggest that there is a growing faction within the Horniman estate urging the Duke to make a definitive move — either formalize his bond with Susie or quietly separate. Some relatives allegedly see Susie’s influence as a threat to their own status and assets.
One source hinted at “discussions about strategic marriages, property arrangements, and political alliances — all hinging on the Duke’s next steps.”
Public Reactions: Letters to the Editor, Online Forums, and Social Media Comments
Letters to the Editor, The London Ledger
Mrs. Edith Wren: “Susie Glass has brought fresh energy and sophistication to the Horniman name. It is time to embrace progress, not cling to outdated ideals.”
Sir Malcolm Fairbank: “The Duke must think carefully. The family legacy deserves more than fleeting passion. Duty first, heart second.”
Online Forum Thread: “Halstead — Tradition vs. Modernity”
@DuchessWatcher: “Susie’s no duchess, but she’s got more savvy than the lot of them combined.”
@OldSchoolAristo: “Eddie’s playing with fire. This could be the end of the Horniman dynasty as we know it.”
@GlassKnuckleFan: “Susan Glass is the real future. Let the old guard squabble.”
What Really Happened:
Behind the gilded facade, the Horniman family’s aristocratic circles are maneuvering quietly but decisively. Several family friends and influential peers have approached Eddie with subtle (and not-so-subtle) suggestions to take the next step with Susie — either to solidify their partnership through marriage or to distance himself in favor of alliances deemed “more appropriate.”
Some proposed introducing Eddie to daughters of old aristocratic houses — polished, well-connected women who could bring traditional advantages. Invitations to exclusive events and charity balls are strategically extended, serving as social tests to assess the Duke’s loyalty.
Eddie, however, remains noncommittal. His relationship with Susie, though strong and mutually beneficial, challenges the conventions of his lineage. Meanwhile, Susie remains focused on expanding her ventures, undeterred by the social machinations.
The tension simmers but has yet to boil over. Both know the stakes. Both understand the risks.
In the world they inhabit, survival is a delicate game — and the next move could redefine the "House of Halstead" forever.
Chapter 8: Exclusive Interview: “A Voice from Within — The Horniman Family Speaks Out”
Summary:
Eddie's ancestors would have been proud. A perfect blend of cunning, charisma, and cold calculation, wrapped in the guise of high society intrigue.
Chapter Text
Exclusive Interview: “A Voice from Within — The Horniman Family Speaks Out”
By Celia Montague, Society Insider
Published in The Regency Review, August 2025Celia Montague (CM): Thank you for agreeing to speak with us — I understand this isn’t an easy subject.
Family Insider (FI): Let’s just say the Horniman family prefers to keep its cards close to the chest. But, yes, there are... tensions. Big ones.
CM: The media has been fascinated by the Duke and Susie Glass. What’s your perspective on their relationship?
FI: It’s complicated. Eddie’s always been a bit of a wildcard — charming, headstrong. Susie? She’s sharp as a tack and, frankly, a force of nature. But she’s also not from our world. That’s the root of much discomfort.
CM: Discomfort? How so?
FI: The Hornimans have a centuries-old tradition. Bloodlines, alliances, social contracts. Susie challenges all that. She’s accomplished, yes — a doctor of art history, savvy businesswoman, philanthropist — but she’s new. And she doesn’t play by the old rules.
CM: So the family doesn’t fully accept her?
FI: Acceptance is a generous word. There’s respect, begrudgingly, for what she’s achieved. But behind closed doors? Many fear she disrupts the delicate balance of power and legacy.
CM: I’ve heard rumors that the family is pushing Eddie toward a more ‘suitable’ match. Is that true?
FI: Let’s call it strategic matchmaking. Old aristocratic families do this all the time. It’s not about love, necessarily — it’s about alliances, preserving influence... Invitations to exclusive galas and charitable events have been sent with that in mind.
CM: How has Eddie responded to this?
FI: With tact. He’s a loyal son, but he’s also fiercely independent. He’s made it clear that Susie is not just a fling or a phase. That’s ruffled feathers. Some see him as defiant; others as lost.
CM: What about Susie herself? How does she fit into this dynamic?
FI: She’s playing her own game. She knows the stakes and the players. I wouldn’t call her intimidated. More like… calculating. She’s expanded her influence — the gallery, the boxing club, charitable work — all carefully woven into the social fabric. It’s a quiet power play.
CM: Is there any hope for reconciliation between Susie and the old guard?
FI: That depends. If Eddie and Susie formalize their partnership — marriage, public endorsement — some might come around. But others will never accept her. The aristocracy is a stubborn beast.
CM: And the Duke himself? What kind of man is he under all this pressure?
FI: Loyal. Charismatic. Torn. He’s trying to balance love, legacy, and duty. That’s a tall order in any family — especially one like the Hornimans.
CM: Final thoughts — what’s next for the Duke and Susie?
FI: Expect even some surprises. They’re reshaping the narrative, whether the family likes it or not. The question is, will the aristocracy bend — or break?
CM’s Note: Our insider’s words paint a portrait of a family at a crossroads — tradition wrestling with change, legacy wrestling with love. For Eddie Horniman and Susie Glass, the future may be as unpredictable as it is inevitable.
Letter to the Editor: Lady Camilla Frobisher on the Horniman Affair
Published in The Regency Review, August 2025
To the Editor,
As a longstanding observer of aristocratic traditions, I must express my concern over the persistent public fascination with the Duke of Halstead and his recent association with Ms. Susie Glass. While Ms. Glass’s accomplishments are not in question, we must remember that titles and heritage are not merely ornamental — they are the threads that weave the fabric of our society.
One wonders if the Duke fully appreciates the responsibilities his title entails. The allure of novelty should never eclipse the dignity of lineage. It is my sincere hope that the Duke will reconsider his path and uphold the values that have sustained the Horniman name for generations.
Sincerely,
Lady Camilla Frobisher, Countess of Westbury
Socialite Column: “Susie Glass — A Disruptor or a Darling?”
By Beatrix Sinclair, Society Weekly, June 2025
Susie Glass: the name on every tongue, the woman who’s made aristocratic hearts flutter and eyebrows rise. Is she a breath of fresh air or a tornado threatening to uproot centuries of tradition?
Her pedigree might not be impeccable by old money standards, but her sharp mind and business acumen are undeniable. The boxing club, the gallery, the charity — Susie is building an empire on her own terms.
Some whisper that her influence over the Duke is nothing short of formidable. Could this be the modern fairy tale of a commoner who conquered the nobility? Or is it a power play destined to crumble under the weight of old-world expectations?
Only time will tell, but Susie Glass has certainly made the aristocracy more entertaining.
Exclusive: Viscount Algernon DeWitt on “The Duke’s Dilemma”
Private Interview Leaked to The Regency Review
"Eddie’s a good lad, but he’s treading on thin ice," Viscount DeWitt confided over a discreet lunch at Claridge’s. "The family expects him to marry suitably — to secure alliances, ensure heirs. Susie’s charming, no doubt, but she’s a wildcard. The question is whether the Duke’s heart will steer him right or if he’ll risk everything on a gamble."
DeWitt paused, swirling his scotch thoughtfully. "Old money isn’t as forgiving as the press might think."
Opinion Piece: “Modern Love vs. Aristocratic Duty — A Tug of War”
By Sir Thomas Berwick, The London Observer, August 2025
The saga of Eddie Horniman and Susie Glass encapsulates a timeless conflict: passion versus duty.
The Duke of Halstead faces pressures familiar to many heirs — balancing personal happiness against the expectations of lineage and legacy. Susie Glass represents the new guard — independent, accomplished, unbound by centuries-old constraints.
Is this the dawn of a more inclusive aristocracy, or a perilous fracture threatening noble continuity? Regardless, the world watches eagerly as the Duke navigates this delicate dance.
Perhaps in this tale, the old and new worlds will find harmony—or else, history will mark it as a cautionary chapter.
#DukeDrama #OldMoneyProblems”
What really happened
As the rumors swirling from their European trip and financial movements grew louder, Susie and Eddie realized the spotlight was edging dangerously close to exposing their true operations. So they decided to use the "old guard" comments to their benefit. The pair convened in GlassHouse London’s cozy office, the ambient hum of the city outside a perfect contrast to their sharp strategizing.
Susie laid out the skeleton of their plan with surgical precision. “We give them a narrative they want — romance, but with complications and opposition. Something juicy enough to distract but vague enough to keep them guessing.”
Eddie leaned back, fingers steepled. “And we sprinkle in enough plausible leaks. A few staged ‘chance’ meetings, cryptic comments in the press. Maybe even a few well-timed social media posts from ‘anonymous insiders’.” He smiled slyly. “I could even feed a few choice tidbits to old friends in the circle. It’s about controlling the story before it controls us.”
They had to warn the Horniman family about the future controversial waves in the press.
Freddy, ever the cheeky observer, couldn’t resist. “So basically, you’re writing your own scandal soap opera. If only we’d known you had such flair for fiction. Hollywood’s missing out on a blockbuster.”
Tams rolled her eyes but grinned. “Knowing you two, this will be so elaborate, even Sherlock Holmes would be lost.”
Lady Sabrina sipped her wine thoughtfully. “It has to be meticulous. The precision, the timing. You both have to stay three steps ahead — it’s as much strategy as it is art.”
Charlie, watching quietly, added, “You’ve turned public opinion into a chessboard. Hopefully, every piece will move exactly where you want.”
Susie laughed softly. “Exactly. While they’re busy chasing shadows, we’re quietly expanding, negotiating. The border transport issues? We smoothed them out without a single hint reaching the press.”
Eddie nodded. “The real work never makes headlines. But the distractions? They’re invaluable.”
His ancestors would have been proud. A perfect blend of cunning, charisma, and cold calculation, wrapped in the guise of high society intrigue.
Chapter 9: Donkey Drama & Diversion — The Freddy Fiasco
Summary:
Enter Freddy. Or rather, unleash Freddy.
Chapter Text
The Daily Rook
By Claribel Hayes, Society & Scandal Columnist"Donkey on the Loose — Freddy Horniman and the Case of the Escaped Wedding Beast"
What began as a routine country fair has now escalated into full-blown tabloid delirium, and at the center of it all? Freddy Horniman, the Duke of Halstead’s older brother and perpetual magnet for misadventure.
This past Saturday, Freddy and his wife, the elegant but long-suffering Tamasina Horniman, were attending the Bletchley Horticultural Gala — a quaint rural event known for rhubarb gin and ill-tempered livestock. Witnesses say Freddy, after winning three bottles of elderflower wine in the tombola, spontaneously entered the donkey derby as a guest rider.
What followed was chaos. The donkey — named Catherine of Aragon — bolted midway through the race, dragging Freddy across a muddy field, through a lavender display, and into the reception marquee where a wedding party was mid-toast.
The bride screamed. The cake collapsed. Freddy reportedly shouted, “Tally-ho!” before disappearing behind a row of topiary swans.
"I thought it was a publicity stunt," said one baffled guest. "Turns out it was just Freddy being Freddy."
The footage, naturally, went viral within hours. Memes erupted. Headlines bloomed. Hashtags trended:
#DonkeyDuke
#FreddyRidesAgain
#WeddingCrashGallop
#FreddyAndCatherineClips of Freddy’s muddy slide into the wedding buffet have already been remixed into TikTok dance challenges, with one version set to a medieval lute remix of “Old Town Road.”
Excerpts from Social Media — #HornimanHavoc
@DebbieFromDevon: Can’t stop thinking about Freddy Horniman on that donkey. What an icon.
@SnarkySue: That donkey had better press management than most actors.
@MaggieTeaLeaf: Someone give Freddy a BAFTA. This is cinema.
@GothicGossip: Wait. Wasn’t there a baby scandal brewing? Where did that story go?
@HorseAndScandal: The donkey deserves a seat at the next royal banquet.
@BuckinghamSnide: The donkey’s agent says she’s fielding Netflix offers.
@ThistleKissed: This is the most aristocratic thing I’ve ever seen. Who needs Bridgerton?
What Really Happened:
The birth of Charlotte Horniman’s baby should have been a private affair. Eddie, ever the protective brother, had ensured she had the best care, security, and privacy. But whispers leaked. Someone in the hospital. A blurred long-lens photo. Suddenly, headlines were looming, threatening to turn Charlotte into tabloid fodder and her daughter into public curiosity.
Eddie knew he had to neutralize it — fast.
Enter Freddy. Or rather, unleash Freddy.
With help from Susie, who called it “a good old-fashioned flashbang,” the plan was launched: Frederic Horniman, already infamous for eccentric antics and an old-school disregard for dignity, would provide the perfect diversion. Eddie simply asked for a distraction that would explode online. And Freddy delivered. Tamasina reportedly packed spare clothes in advance.
It worked.
The media ate it up. Not a single outlet circled back to Charlotte. Instead, they printed blurry photos of Freddy in muddy tweed and speculated whether the donkey might get its own reality show.
Meanwhile, the whole family stayed by Charlotte’s side and ensured no leaks compromised the baby's safety. Eddie handled media containment through a flurry of fake art show buzz and leaked photos of Susie and him “house hunting” in Amsterdam.
“We had one shot,” Eddie said later, “and Freddy galloped straight into the headlines.”
“Simple misdirection,” Susie said afterward. “All you need is a convincing donkey and a man willing to fall off it.”
Freddy, finishing his glass of whiskey, smirked. “Some families use lawyers. We use livestock.”
And so, the baby story disappeared — safe, quiet, buried beneath a pile of hay and headlines. Charlotte, cradling her daughter in peace, thanked her brothers for the most ridiculous favor they'd ever done her.
Chapter 10: Sports article "Jack Glass — The Return of a Fighter"
Summary:
What stood out to me was Jack’s mental toughness. The way he kept his cool under pressure, especially in round four when Rourke landed some solid punches. That kind of composure? It’s championship material.
Chapter Text
"Jack Glass — The Return of a Fighter"
From The Ring Report — June 2025 Issue
By Marcus Delaney, Senior Sports Analyst
Jack Glass Triumphs in His Long-Awaited Professional Debut: A Night of Heart, Hustle, and Grit
For those who’ve followed the rise of Jack Glass, the name itself is a promise — a promise of raw talent, fierce determination, and a stubborn refusal to quit. After an agonizing year sidelined by a brutal injury that nearly ended his professional dreams, last night’s fight at the Camden Arena was more than a match. It was a testament.
The younger Glass brother, 24, stepped into the ring facing seasoned contender Danny “The Mauler” Rourke. What pundits expected was a cautious debut, a cautious Jack, still finding his rhythm. What we witnessed instead was a masterclass in resilience and heart.
The opening rounds were tense — Rourke tried to dominate early with heavy jabs, hoping to unsettle Glass’s rhythm. But Jack’s footwork, honed through months of grueling rehab and unyielding training, was sharp as a scalpel. By round three, Glass was connecting clean shots to the body, wearing down the veteran.
Commentator Hannah Brooks captured the moment perfectly: “Jack isn’t just back. He’s back with a vengeance — every punch tells a story of pain overcome and focus regained.”
The defining moment came in the fifth round. Glass, feinting a left hook, switched mid-move to a devastating uppercut that caught Rourke off guard, sending him to the canvas. The crowd erupted, a blend of disbelief and awe rippling through the arena. Though Rourke managed to stand, it was clear the tide had turned irreversibly.
The judges’ unanimous decision in favor of Glass was met with cheers and applause, cementing his comeback not as a mere return but a statement.
Hope this isn’t the last we see of Jack Glass. His resilience reminds me why I love this sport.
Commentators’ Take — Live Broadcast Highlights
Hannah Brooks:
“Jack Glass just rewrote his story tonight. This wasn’t just about boxing — it was about proving that setbacks can be springboards. His discipline, his technique — it’s all elevated. That injury? You’d never know it watching him move.”Tom “Knuckles” Henderson:
“Absolutely, Hannah. What stood out to me was Jack’s mental toughness. The way he kept his cool under pressure, especially in round four when Rourke landed some solid punches. That kind of composure? It’s championship material.”Hannah Brooks:
“And the support system, let’s not forget. There’s something special about having family in the crowd. Susie and, surprisingly, the Duke of Halstead were ringside, cheering him on. Talk about an elite fan club.”
Social Media Buzz
@FightFanatic_99:
“Jack Glass is back and better than ever. That uppercut? Pure poetry in motion. #ComebackKid #GlassKnuckle”@SportsChicLondon:
“Can we talk about how Susie Glass and the Duke were front row? Power couple goals, but honestly, this is about Jack tonight. Future champ in the making. #GlassFamily”@Boxing_Banter:
“Did anyone else catch the intense look Eddie gave Jack after that knockout? That’s pride mixed with ‘don’t mess this up’ vibes. Love it. #DukeKnows”
Insider Whisper: Backstage at Camden Arena
By “The Shadow,” anonymous sports gossip columnist
The Glass family name has been circulating London’s social and sporting circles for years, but Jack Glass’s recent victory signals a new chapter. Where his sister Susie has carved an empire in art and high society, Jack is carving out his own legacy in the ring — one marked by grit, blood, sweat, and determination.
Watching him last night, it was clear that Jack is driven by more than family prestige. This is raw talent meeting unyielding spirit. And yet, one cannot ignore the symbolic weight his victory carries — a Glass holding steady, even as public eyes focus on the glitter and intrigue of his sister’s world.
Talking about the devil, Susie Glass arrived looking every bit the calculated social strategist — chic, composed, with that knowing smile of someone who’s already three moves ahead. The Duke, ever the gentleman, was noticeably less at ease but equally attentive. Sources say they were inseparable in the green room, the perfect picture of power and support.
Post-fight, the trio was spotted at a quiet afterparty, surrounded by well-wishers and whispers — though the topic of Susie and Eddie’s “continental escapades” was notably absent. Perhaps some stories are best kept in the shadows.
What Really Happened:
Behind the roar of the crowd and the flashing lights, Jack Glass’s road to the ring was fraught with physical and emotional battles. The injuries he sustained last year... doctors warned might end his boxing career. But with relentless therapy, months of painstaking recovery, and a near-obsessive training regimen, Jack defied the odds.
Susie and Eddie played a crucial, if discreet, role. Susie coordinated his medical care and nutrition plans, leveraging contacts in sports medicine, while Eddie used his connections to secure funding for specialized training sessions abroad.
Susie was particularly vigilant in shielding the details of Jack’s injury from prying questions. She made sure the press and public focused on his triumphant return — not the pain and setbacks he endured behind the scenes. In her eyes, the injury’s story was best left untold, a wound avenged silently.
And avenged it was, in the most delicious way possible: Eddie, ever the strategist, personally delivered the head of Henry Collins — the man responsible for the ambush that nearly ended Jack’s career — on a silver platter. That grim trophy was a silent message, one not meant for headlines but understood by all who needed to know.
Their presence at the fight was both familial and strategic — a show of solidarity to remind the world that the Glass family was not only about high society intrigue and art deals but also about grit, perseverance, and loyalty.
Jack’s victory isn’t just a win in the ring; it’s a message. The Glass family is back in the game, ready to fight on multiple fronts.
Chapter 11: Tiktoks: Allegations & Aristocratic Angst
Summary:
Once lauded as the glamorous, if unlikely, duo shaking up Britain's aristocracy, Eddie Horniman (yes, that Duke) and Susie Glass (yes, that Glass) appear to be going their separate ways. Or at least attending separate events with intriguing new companions.
Chapter Text
TikTok Exclusive: @TeaWithTiaras (2.3M followers) "Is this the END of Susie & Eddie?! 👀💔"
[Scene 1: Eddie Horniman at the Equestrian Ball, descending a marble staircase with a tall brunette in a modest but tailored navy suit. She’s holding a tablet and whispering in his ear.]
[Scene 2: Susie Glass arriving at the Soho Philanthropy Gala with a dashing man in a grey suit holding the car door and carrying her handbag.]
Voiceover (dramatic): "Two events. Two dates. One scandal. Are Eddie and Susie OVER? Or are they just really, really rich and detached?"
Comments Section:
@AristoAddict: Wait... I thought they were soulmates?
@GossipGoblin: Eddie’s got a type: severe brunettes with a clipboard.
@BiscuitButler: Maybe Susie’s finally had enough of blue blood nonsense and found herself a normal man.
@CorgiCryptid: Can someone PLEASE find out who that woman with Eddie is? She looks like she works in tax fraud.
@MemeMeghan: They’re both playing chess while the rest of us are playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.
@SconeWatchUK: If Ms. Temple gets near the House of Lords, we’re doomed.
@ArtIsAWeapon: Susie Glass isn’t cheating — she’s delegating.
@TeaLeavesAndDaggers: Plot twist: They’re training their assistants to impersonate them so they can disappear to Capri.
@MonarchMadness: So... the Duke’s girlfriend is his secretary and Susie’s new man is her lawyer? This is like reverse fan fiction.
@DetectiveDuke: Hear me out — what if this is their way of throwing the press off their actual wedding plans?
@CrownConspiracy: What if Eddie and Susie are still together but hired decoys to avoid media scrutiny? Iconic.
@TartanAndTea: That assistant walked past me in Covent Garden and I instinctively stood up straighter. She’s THAT commanding.
@GinAndTabloids: Someone said Susie’s guy used to be a lawyer and I believe it — I would confess all my crimes to him.
@DramaDuchess: This has “heist movie but make it couture” written all over it.
@HeirHeads: All I want is a buddy comedy spin-off starring the two assistants cleaning up their boss’s messes.
@GalaGoddess: Let them live! They’re too powerful to break up. I refuse to believe it.
The London Whistler Society Scandals & Scones Edition
By Violet Tennant
"Trouble in Paradise? The Duke and the Dealer Drift Apart... Maybe"
Once lauded as the glamorous, if unlikely, duo shaking up Britain's aristocracy, Eddie Horniman (yes, that Duke) and Susie Glass (yes, that Glass) appear to be going their separate ways. Or at least attending separate events with intriguing new companions.
Over the past month, eagle-eyed socialites have noted an uptick in solo appearances. The Duke of Halstead, long praised for his smirking defiance of noble expectations, was spotted at three major events accompanied by a strikingly composed woman known only as "K. Temple." Rumor has it she’s a former logistics consultant with military-grade organizational skills and a deadly poker face.
Meanwhile, Susie Glass — the art-world shark with a cult following and a penchant for jaw-dropping gowns — has been seen with a new companion identified as “L. Harris,” a softly-spoken man in bespoke tailoring with the energy of a Bond side character who arranges coups from behind mahogany desks.
Theories abound:
Strategic split?
Lover switcheroo?
Long con?
PR stunt?
The inevitable collapse of star-crossed chaos?
Insiders remain divided. Some say this is the duo laying groundwork for a mutual exit. Others claim it’s a distraction from a new property acquisition in Monaco.
Either way, it has the public absolutely feral.
What Really Happened:
The truth was mundane — which, for Eddie and Susie, made it exceptional.
Their operations (both legitimate and less so) had grown beyond the scope of two people. The art investments, property negotiations, charity fronts, offshore banking consultations, and — increasingly — public appearances had become an unsustainable whirlwind.
Enter Kendra Temple and Louis Harris.
Kendra, formerly of the Royal Logistics Corps, could coordinate a black-tie gala, a backdoor art auction, and a decoy media leak without breaking a sweat. She took over Eddie’s legal travel, security details, and press filtering, allowing him to focus on strategy (and chess with criminal rivals).
Eddie met Kendra during a security audit on one of his offshore holdings. She flagged three breaches no one else noticed, offered three solutions, and refused to be flattered. He hired her on the spot. Her background in military logistics and intelligence coordination made her perfect.
Louis, a former junior barrister turned fixer, managed Susie’s exploding network of shell companies and oversaw due diligence on all incoming proposals. He could negotiate a gallery merger and carry a clutch bag without blinking.
Susie discovered Louis during a particularly contentious negotiation over a distressed gallery in Barcelona. While working as legal counsel for the opposing firm, he quietly fed her the loopholes she needed to win — and then resigned the next day. She offered him a job over coffee in Knightsbridge. After Louis said, "Loyalty isn’t about fear. It’s about never wanting to work for anyone less interesting."
Their presence in public was tactical. It signaled structure, control — and plausible deniability. People talked, and the tabloids spun. Eddie and Susie let them. It made the truth invisible.
Chapter 12: A Ring, A Rumor, A Royal Headache
Summary:
When the Duke of Halstead — formerly Britain’s most eligible rogue — is seen hopping from Hatton Garden to Milan’s most exclusive jewellers in a single week, you’d expect a press release. Instead, there’s silence.
Chapter Text
TikTok Exclusive: @CrownConspiracy
"EDDIE HORNIMAN IS BUYING A RING?! 💍👀"[Scene 1: Eddie Horniman exiting a black car in Hatton Garden, wearing his signature navy overcoat and — notably — suede boots.]
[Scene 2: Entering a private jeweller in Milan, flanked by a woman in sunglasses and a man with a leather folio.]
Voiceover (giddy): “Is it finally happening? Is the 13th Duke going off the market?! The suede boots don’t lie!”
Comments Section:
@DiamondDuchess: That man didn’t just walk into DeBeers in Milan for fun.
@GemstoneTea: THAT was an emerald. I will die on this hill.
@BluntBride: Calling it now: Romanov ring. They found it in a Swiss vault.
@HeirHeads: Someone check on Susie. Or check if she’s in Venice. Are we planning a WEDDING?!
Instagram Post – @VogueBridalUK
📸: [Zoomed image of Eddie looking pensive inside a jewellery boutique.]Caption: “The Duke of Halstead might be courting something shinier than Parliament’s affection. Could Susie Glass soon be Britain’s most scandalous duchess? Our editors predict what her wedding dress will absolutely not include.”
The Daily Mail (Society Section) “Eddie and Susie: Engagement Imminent?”
When the Duke of Halstead — formerly Britain’s most eligible rogue — is seen hopping from Hatton Garden to Milan’s most exclusive jewellers in a single week, you’d expect a press release. Instead, there’s silence.
Meanwhile, Ms. Susie Glass — business magnate, art world menace, and the nation’s most mysterious plus-one — has reportedly been seen in Venice. Not for Biennale, but inspecting centuries-old palazzos and baroque churches. (A wedding in Italy, perhaps? The British clergy would faint.)
Could the rogue duke be making an honest woman of her?
Royal historian Agatha Farrow had this to say: “If he is proposing, and if they do marry — it will rewrite the rules of modern peerage. The House of Lords won’t know whether to weep or invest.”
Twitter Highlights:
@DukeWatch2025: He’s buying a ring. She’s shopping chapels. IT’S HAPPENING.
@JointVenture: This is either a wedding or a weed-fueled psyop.
@VelvetVicountess: If she says yes, I want reparations for every time I said they were endgame and got laughed at.
What Really Happened:
Yes — Eddie Horniman was shopping for a ring. A real one. Not for PR, not for a decoy. He’d commissioned it from a former forger turned ethical jeweller in Milan — a rare green diamond set in gold, designed to look timeless yet unmistakably unique.
Because he had to do it. He had to fucking propose to Susie Glass.
Not because of pressure. Not because of optics. But because of the business — and because of her.
Their cannabis empire, already spread across properties and fronts in multiple countries, needed formal legitimacy. New laws in the UK meant joint property holdings required legally recognized union to retain noble protections — especially as Eddie converted aristocratic land into agricultural facilities and private equity into botanical research.
But none of that explained the way his throat tightened when he actually pulled out the ring. He did it in private — just the two of them, at a vineyard she liked in Provence, the ring hidden in a vintage tobacco tin.
He told her she didn’t have to say yes.
She punched him lightly in the chest and told him to shut up.
And then she almost cried. Almost. (She claimed it was allergy.)
The ring fit. The deal was sealed. And the world, oblivious, went mad with speculation.
Chapter 13: “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nobility?”
Summary:
Susie Glass is sending shockwaves through the ton, not just because of her non-aristocratic roots but because of what this alliance represents: the fusion of tradition with a booming, if somewhat controversial, cannabis empire.
Chapter Text
The Times — August 2025
Opinion: A Marriage of Land and Legacy: Can a Duke Marry a Glass?
By Penelope HargraveIt’s not every day the peerage is forced to confront a choice between centuries of tradition and the realities of modern enterprise. The upcoming wedding of Edward Horniman, 13th Duke of Halstead, and Susan Glass promises to be the event of the season, but it’s also shaping up to be the PR challenge of the decade.
While the couple’s romance has fascinated the tabloids, what remains unspoken is the monumental significance of this union in securing the future of one of Britain’s most prestigious titles. The Horniman estate is on the cusp of transformation — with farmland slated for conversion into agricultural research facilities, quietly poised to become the UK’s most exclusive medical cannabis brand.
This isn’t just a wedding. It’s a strategic alignment of power, property, and profit. Whether the aristocracy will embrace or resist remains to be seen.
Socialite Weekly
“Duke and Dealer Tie the Knot: Old Money Meets New Green”
By Beatrice FontaineWhat’s old is new again — or, in this case, what’s royal meets revolutionary. Eddie Horniman’s choice to marry Susie Glass is sending shockwaves through the ton, not just because of her non-aristocratic roots but because of what this alliance represents: the fusion of tradition with a booming, if somewhat controversial, cannabis empire.
With the couple navigating a labyrinth of logistics, including securing church approval and tax counsel, their wedding preparations read like a manual for merging old-world pomp with new-world pragmatism.
Sources report that the Archbishop himself is deeply involved, balancing ecclesiastical decorum with the realities of modern wealth and enterprise. Meanwhile, Susie is seen negotiating with top-tier tax advisors — no doubt laying the groundwork for their expanding multinational interests.
Instagram Post @HighSocietyScene
“Lady Sabrina spotted at Claridge’s: Wedding vibes or just another dress affair? 👗👀 #HalsteadWeddingWatch”Comments flood in:
@VintageVixen: She’s definitely wearing something fantastic for her son's wedding!
@CountessChaos: If that dress is a hint, this wedding will shake the establishment.
@RoyalRumourMill: Word is the guest list is the strictest in decades. No plus-ones allowed!
The Daily Dispatch
“Bobby Glass Granted Brief Leave from Prison for Daughter’s Wedding”
By Marcus EatonIn an unusual but touching gesture, Robert Glass, Susie's father, has been granted a short furlough to attend his daughter’s highly anticipated wedding. Sources close to the family say the decision was made in light of the event’s significance and the couple’s public stature.
Bobby’s presence, while brief, is expected to add a humanizing layer to what otherwise promises to be a tightly choreographed aristocratic affair.
Leaked WhatsApp Chat (Allegedly) Between Two Society Insiders
Person A: Did you get the invite? I swear they’re only inviting people who have oil stocks or a garden party charity.
Person B: Yeah. No room for friends of the family. It’s all about image. I hear the Archbishop personally vetoed half the list.
Person A: Bet he’s worried about the cannabis connection. Still, a Duchess with a dealer’s background — scandalous!
Person B: Or brilliant PR. Let’s see if tradition bends or breaks.
TikTok @TeaWithTiaras (3.1M followers)
“Eddie’s been spotted in Claridge’s lobby... again. We’re guessing rehearsals? Or last-minute power moves? 🕴💍 #HalsteadWedding”
[Video montage of Eddie walking briskly, adjusting his cufflinks, juxtaposed with old clips of him arriving at other events with Susie.]
Voiceover: “The Duke means business, but is it love, legacy... or leverage?”Comments:
@CrownConspiracy: Definitely leverage. There’s too much at stake.
@VelvetViscountess: If this wedding is a chess match, Eddie’s three moves ahead.
@BiscuitButler: Honestly just waiting for the bridesmaids to drop some tea.
Opinion Piece: “A Modern Fairy Tale or a Corporate Coup?”
By Harold Pembroke, The London Whistler
Eddie Horniman and Susie Glass aren’t your typical royal couple. Beneath the surface of tulle and tiaras lies a calculated merger of aristocracy and enterprise — one that challenges the very definition of nobility in the 21st century.
The medical cannabis empire they’re quietly launching could reshape not only their fortunes but the economic landscape of the British countryside. But it comes with risks: a wary church, skeptical peers, and the ever-watchful eye of the public.
This wedding isn’t just a promise of love — it’s a masterclass in modern power play.
What Really Happened:
The wedding wasn’t just about love, nor was it merely a social spectacle. For Eddie and Susie, the ceremony was a legal and strategic necessity. To maintain the Duke’s peerage privileges and secure vital protections over their sprawling estates, the marriage had to be official, church-sanctioned, and indisputably public.
There was no room for shortcuts, aliases, or discreet civil ceremonies. The church’s blessing was critical, as it sealed the legitimacy of the union in the eyes of British nobility and law.
Behind the scenes, the wedding date marked the countdown to a series of government approvals. The farmland tied to the Halstead (and a number of others') estate began its quiet transformation into high-tech cannabis research facilities — a move that would catapult the couple’s enterprise into the mainstream medical cannabis market, well shielded under agricultural and tax regulations.
Susie’s new title as Duchess was not just honorific. It conferred essential tax-sheltered stakes across three countries, bolstering the couple’s international business empire. The grandeur, the gossip, the gowns — all a masterstroke of high society subterfuge, masking a carefully orchestrated business coup.
Chapter 14: “The Wedding Heard 'Round the Underworld”
Chapter Text
Vogue UK — Liveblog: The Halstead Nuptials
“Duchess Susie’s Bridal Gown: A Triumph of Classic Elegance”
By Camille RousseauThe grand affair at Halstead Castle was a feast for the eyes — and the haute couture gods. Susie Glass dazzled in a custom silk charmeuse gown by Italian designer Livia Bianchi, its delicate lace reminiscent of Victorian heritage yet infused with modern minimalism.
Guests included an eclectic mix of society’s finest, many of whom favored bold jewel tones and unexpected accessories. A few less fortunate fashion moments included Lord Davenport’s regrettable teal velvet suit and Lady Henrietta’s “fascinator fiasco,” which caused a minor commotion on Twitter.
But the real star? The Duke himself, who sported a bespoke navy morning coat paired with custom brogues — whispered to be from a secret artisan in Milan.
The Guardian — Opinion: “Should Britain Still Care About Noble Weddings?”
By Michael Haversham
As millions tuned in for the spectacle, a question lingers: what do these aristocratic ceremonies mean in 2025? The union of Edward Horniman and Susan Glass blends tradition with the future, yet beneath the glam lies a shifting landscape.
While some see a charming throwback to England’s storied past, others question whether this celebration masks deeper power plays in an era where peerages and privilege must prove their relevance.
Is this a true merger of love and legacy, or a calculated performance to secure economic dominance cloaked in pageantry?
Weed Twitter Highlights
“Floral Arrangements or Floral Alarms? 👀”
@GreenThumbGuru: Noticed the bouquets smelled a little like my grow tent... suspiciously pungent for a church wedding 🌿💨 #HalsteadWedding
@HydroHero: I spy terpene-heavy roses. Those florists are definitely “in the know.”
@BudBaroness: Can we talk about how the “heritage plant restoration” is just a cover for the real MVP: hydroponic cannabis?
TikTok @CastleCrush (4.5M followers)
“Inside Halstead Castle: The Greenest Wedding Venue Ever?”
[Shaky handheld footage pans sweeping stone walls, winding gardens dotted with discreet irrigation systems, and elegant guests sipping champagne under ornate chandeliers.]
Voiceover: “If you thought this was just another aristocratic wedding, think again. Behind the ivy, this castle’s about to be Britain’s next big cannabis innovation campus. Watch closely — that floral centerpiece? Not just for show.”Comments:
@ChronicChic: This is some next-level botanical espionage.
@QueenOfLeaf: When the wedding is a front for a weed empire, you know it’s next-gen nobility.
@VapeVanguard: I want that cake. Bet it’s infused.
The Daily Telegraph — Front Page:
“A Kiss, a Vow, and a Kingdom of Green”
Crowds gathered on the sun-drenched terraces as the Duke and Duchess of Halstead sealed their vows with a kiss that lit up the nation’s imagination. But beneath the applause, a quieter revolution took place.
Susie’s personal assistant, Louis Harris, discreetly signed the final agricultural deed transfers in a private room, converting dormant estate lands into licensed cultivation zones under the new UK medical cannabis framework.
Internal Memo: From Susie’s Office
Subject: Immediate Post-Wedding Asset Transfers
Team,
The wedding was flawless, but our work is just beginning. The deeds for the Cotswolds estate have been executed. Hydroponic grow licenses activated. Heritage plant restoration funds rerouted to R&D.
Bobby Glass is now fully briefed on profit distribution and compliance. Lady Sabrina is updated on succession plans. Remember, discretion is paramount.
— S.G.
Instagram Stories Compilation — Tagged: #HalsteadWedding #HalsteadForever #GreenNobility #WeddingOfTheYear #CannabisCouture
Lady Sabrina’s elegant smile, captioned “Ready for the future.”
A vintage Rolls Royce with tinted windows pulling up to the castle.
Guests whispering about “the green revolution behind the grand halls.”
An aerial shot of the estate’s sprawling grounds, subtly dotted with new agricultural tech.
What Really Happened:
The ceremony was every bit the fairy tale: vows exchanged, rings slipped on, a kiss to seal the promise — all under the ornate ceilings of Halstead Castle.
Yet, while society dined on canapés and debated the best hats of the day, a different kind of contract was quietly enacted.
Susie’s assistant, Louis Harris, wielded power from the shadows, flipping long-dormant agricultural deeds into lucrative cultivation licenses — a transformation backed by the often-overlooked exemptions granted to peerage estates.
That once-sleepy Cotswolds estate? Overnight, it became home to £60 million worth of hydroponic growing technology, camouflaged under the guise of “heritage plant restoration” projects.
Meanwhile, Bobby Glass — briefly out on furlough — began calculating his share of profits, while Lady Sabrina dreamed of the eventual heir who would inherit this sprawling green empire.
And as Eddie and Susie sealed their union near the altar, the nation unknowingly ratified the legalization and legitimation of one of the most sophisticated cannabis empires in Europe.
Chapter 15: “The Honeymoon Hustle”
Summary:
Their so-called "honeymoon" was a full-scale, seven-day international blitz of influence, leverage, and restructuring.
Chapter Text
Tatler Feature
“A Modern Aristocratic Love Story”
By Portia WexfordThe Duke and Duchess of Halstead have left London reeling — not from scandal this time, but from an absence. Since their opulent, meticulously curated wedding, the power couple has vanished. No Claridge’s sightings. No awkward hat photos. No comments from Lady Sabrina.
Society whispers: it must be the honeymoon. The Maldives, surely. Or perhaps Capri? A yacht in the Aegean?
Except… they never boarded any known private jet.
And now? Two anti-cannabis MPs have inexplicably reversed their stance. The Home Office’s Drug Task Force was quietly defunded. A biotech lab in Kent changed ownership.
All within seven days.
Coincidence? Or classic Halstead-Glass chaos?
Twitter Buzz
@ChanceryChic: Eddie Horniman doesn’t own a tie and just reshaped UK drug policy. That’s powerful slacker energy.
@NotABaroness: MPs don’t backtrack like that unless there’s money or blackmail. Or both.
@WeedWatchdog: Task Force disbanded? Surveillance shuttered? The real honeymoon was institutional destabilization.
@CryptoCrumpet: If I vanished after a royal wedding and reappeared with three biotech patents, I’d want Vogue to cover THAT.
@KnightlyNews: Someone saw them outside a Luxembourg biotech fund HQ. They were holding hands and a briefcase.
LEAKED: Private DMs – Source: PoliticalStaffer04
11:24PM – "Saw the Duchess with the Duke in Kirchberg. That’s the finance district in Luxembourg. She had three phones. He had sunglasses on indoors."
11:26PM – "They walked straight into the building that owns CannexTech — the lab that just pulled their trials from the UK."
11:27PM – "Also, pretty sure they were laughing. Like, flirty laughing.
The Economist – Sidebar Column
"Who Controls the Green Tides?"
With rapid deregulation movements in cannabis-adjacent sectors, investors have begun tracing influence flows to a new conglomerate — one rooted in aristocratic land rights, biotech acquisitions, and a suspiciously well-timed wedding.
Insiders point to the Halstead estate’s recent land repurposing and offshore holdings tied to Dutch greenhouses, Italian labs, and Luxembourg biotech funds. There’s speculation that new IP (intellectual property) filings on medicinal strains and synthetic cannabinoids are being routed through a newly incorporated firm called Glass & Horniman Green Solutions.
Instagram Post: @LadySabrinaOfficial (Story)
📍Location: Unknown Beach
[Photo: Cocktail glass with emerald-green garnish, resting on a mahogany table. In the blurry background: two silhouettes, one in a white linen shirt, the other in a red bikini, walking toward the sea. Caption:]
“They’ve earned it. 🍸🌴 #PrivacyIsRoyal”
What Really Happened:
There was no yacht. No champagne-soaked escape to St. Barts. Their so-called "honeymoon" was a full-scale, seven-day international blitz of influence, leverage, and restructuring.
Day 1: They killed three domestic investigations by flipping political donors.
Day 2: Acquired CannexTech and its cannabinoid patents for £9M in shares.
Day 3: Registered three shell entities in cannabis-friendly zones.
Day 4: Attended a biotech investment conference under aliases.
Day 5: Signed two celebrity endorsement deals (one accidental via spa encounter).
Day 6: Moved £120M in pre-seed funding through art brokerage accounts.
Day 7: Signed the merger that would fold their empire into a legitimate umbrella brand: Glass & Horniman Green Solutions Ltd.
Only then did they retreat — briefly — to a private villa, where they allowed themselves actual rest. Just the two of them. No phones. No staff.
Lady Sabrina had been conspicuously quiet since the ceremony, but insiders say she was already daydreaming about baby names and monogrammed christening gowns. Fortunately for her, she needn’t worry — Eddie and Susie, now legally wed and temporarily off-grid, were spending their first true moment of peace making good on their marital vows in the most traditional way imaginable. Delicious heir-making was, indeed, in progress — with great enthusiasm and absolutely no royal decorum.
Chapter 16: “The Peer and the Pillar” Front Page Headline
Summary:
When Susie Glass married into one of Britain’s oldest noble families, no one expected her to blend in. But they also didn’t expect her to be the strategic mastermind behind the UK’s most well-connected, science-backed cannabis enterprise.
Chapter Text
“A Duke, a Duchess, and a Dilemma: Is Cannabis the Future of the British Countryside?”
By Julian MarchmontOutrage struck the upper chambers this week as the Marquess of Westham delivered a thunderous speech to the Lords: “It is not fitting that England’s nobility be reduced to glorified weed farmers.” His target? The newly-married Duke and Duchess of Halstead, whose quietly expanding agritech empire has become the talk of both Westminster and Chelsea.
Westham’s thinly veiled tirade described Eddie Horniman as “a peer in name only” and accused the couple of “monetising the soil for the pleasures of the plebeians.”
In response, public support surged in unexpected places: across social media, progressive news outlets, and even agricultural unions.
The Times countered with a dignified op-ed:
"Perhaps it's time we stop pretending that British nobility is about bloodlines and fox hunts. If cannabis innovation can save decaying estates and provide jobs, then maybe the Halsteads are the future of peerage, not its shame."
VoxPop TikTok – @WeedOnTheHill
📽️ Video Caption: “I can’t believe the Duke of Halstead is getting grilled for revitalising the countryside. Let’s break down why Westham is MAD.”
🎙️[Split-screen with footage of Westham in Parliament, text overlay reading “Jealous much?”]
“Westham’s estate burned through four EU grants and still looks like a haunted golf course. Meanwhile, Eddie has turned three ancestral plots into eco-friendly grow facilities, partnered with Dutch medical researchers, and registered patents under peerage protections.”🎙️Cut to graphic of the Halstead estate, overlaid with greenhouses, security drones, and solar arrays.
“And let’s be real — the Duchess isn’t just co-signing contracts. Word is, she wrote most of the regulatory workaround. #GirlBossGrows #PowerCoupleEmpire”
Vogue Online – Society & Lifestyle
“Susie Glass: From East End to Duchess of Disruption”
By Estelle FremontShe's rewriting what it means to be a duchess. When Susie Glass married into one of Britain’s oldest noble families, no one expected her to blend in. But they also didn’t expect her to be the strategic mastermind behind the UK’s most well-connected, science-backed cannabis enterprise.
“She didn’t marry the title,” says one source close to the family. “She married the potential.”
Now insiders say that while the Duke wears the signet ring, the Duchess is the one drawing the maps — and the profits.
Leaked WhatsApp Message – Group: Old Etonians ‘98
[RupertH]: “Is it just me or is Eddie actually pulling it off?”
[Charles.B]: “He’s up £300M and shagged his way to a biotech empire. I’d say yes.”
[Dom.84]: “We mocked him for going into military. Who’s laughing now?”
[WillTheWeak]: “Still don’t trust the Glass girl.”
[Charles.B]: “You’re just bitter she’s smarter than your dad.”
Reddit Thread – r/UKPolitics
u/MissMoss92: “The real issue here is that Eddie’s using his noble rights to get around zoning and export taxes. Is this feudalism 2.0?”
u/ItsNotIllegalYet: “That, or the most elegant loophole in modern ag policy.”
u/Susie4PM: “I’d trust the Glass-Horniman alliance over half of Parliament. At least they’re not pretending.”
u/PeeragePerish: “The only reason this empire works is because they married. You know how nuts it is that your weed business needs a vicar and a peerage to be legal?”
u/Chronic_Observer: “Bless this chaotic, tax-shielded power couple.”
The Guardian – Editorial
“The Problem Isn’t Cannabis. It’s That It’s a Duke Doing It.”
What’s more threatening to the British establishment: the controlled growth of a legalised cannabis economy, or the fact that it’s led by someone they expected to fail?
Eddie Horniman, once deemed the “soft” brother, has emerged not just as a duke but a force of structural disruption. By marrying into one of London’s most connected underworld families — and then going legit — he’s blurred the lines between class, crime, and capitalism.
And Susie? She's doing it without changing a single vowel in her accent.
Instagram Post: @GlassAndHornimanGreen
📸 [Image: Greenhouse corridor lined with research staff, glass panes gleaming, branded with the new G&H logo.]
Caption:
“What the papers call scandal, we call progress. Welcome to the new frontier of cultivation. 🌿 #GlassAndHorniman #GrowRoyal #LegacyToLuxury”
What Really Happened:
The outburst from the Marquess of Westham wasn’t spontaneous. He had secretly tried to invest in an early round of the Halstead expansion and was denied — politely, but firmly, by Susie herself.
So he did what embittered nobles do best: he tried to start a scandal.
The backlash backfired spectacularly. In less than 48 hours:
-
Three major papers endorsed Eddie’s strategy.
-
The Canadian IPO of Glass & Horniman Green Solutions Ltd. went live — and oversubscribed by 200%.
-
The couple’s valuation rose by £300 million.
-
Eddie’s old political science professor texted him: “You’ve made peerage relevant again. God help us.”
Susie, meanwhile, spent the morning reviewing new designs for child-safe edibles. In the evening, she brought Eddie a drink on the veranda and reminded him — gently — that Westham could still be useful as a cautionary tale.
Lady Sabrina, meanwhile, had already shortlisted the future heir’s christening wardrobe — in three color schemes, just in case.

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