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It was a weird day, a very weird day in fact, unlike any other day before. The Axis and Allies sat in a room, a quite spacious room with absolutely nothing in it, only them sitting in a circle in the middle. Inside of this circle on the ground laid an empty bottle of an alcoholic beverage USSR stopped drinking like 5 minutes ago. Their goal here was clear, play truth or dare, or how some like to call it spin the bottle.
It was up to one of them to start it, one brave country would have to spin the bottle and the deadly game would start. Why is it deadly? You may be wondering, the answer is easy, when it's between 6 war criminals who hold too many secrets it's no longer a fun game for friends, it's a battlefield, war even.
The room was silent, no one dared to speak, they only exchanged glances from time to time, and that was until one bold country reached out to touch the bottle. He looked at the others, he saw the terrified looks of his friends and foes, his father's eyes said it all “don't do it!” he could almost hear him saying it, but it was too late, the game must start. As he closed his eyes he spun the bottle, everyone watched it's every movement closely, praying it will go further if it even slightly points at the direction of them, meanwhile he, the man himself who started it - America , his eyes remained closed as he knew, if God is on his side that bottle shall not point at him, and even if it does, deploying the only dare strategy will grant him victory .
“Please not me” the unluckiest of them all repeated in his mind, yet his fate was clear from the start. It was almost as if he was cursed, the worst things always had to happen to him, no one even got his name right, Italian Empire they called him, some even called him Fascist Italy which he hated even more as that name reminded him of Nazi Germany, the man who he couldn't say he liked. When the bottle pointed at him he said possibly every insult and slur existing in the Italian language as if the bottle could hear him loud and clear, and the theatrics would change the outcome of the next spins.
“So, Kingdom of Italy, truth or dare” the red one spoke up, the shorter one of course, he had that evil smile on his face, he was up to no good and Italy was doomed before the game could even start
Italy looked over at the man next to him “truth.” he said, it was the safer option, if they try to bring up something embarrassing from the past that does not matter, whatever dare he could've gotten wasn't worth it “Go on, Reich” he said with a serious expression.
Reich laughed “So, my dear ally, do you even like me?”
Italy would've gone pale if that was even possible since he's a country, this isn't what he expected, saying the truth risks his employment, but lying is risky, Japanese Empire knows the truth, she can sabotage him any moment and no one is yet aware of the consequences a lie may bring. He thinks about it for little longer, the answer was simple his employment was not worth it, if the consequence of a lie is death at least he'll be useful for once and be an example to everyone else “Of course, I do” he said with a bright smile on his face, it wasn't real at all but whatever it takes to not get invaded by a nazi…
“I'm glad!” Reich said and smiled at his ally, Italy wasn't exactly sure if Reich believed his words but he was now more worried if God himself wouldn't strike him down for lying in this game. Yet he couldn't show his doubts, he spun the bottle hoping that just maybe it doesn't land on him again.
The bottle went round and round, pointing at the direction of every contestant at least once, the tensions rose as it slowed down, the bottle has almost stopped as it reached America, but it didn't stop moving, as if his confidence alone made it move, in the end it pointed at the one next to him - Japanese Empire.
“Japanese Empire, truth or dare!” America said quickly, almost as if he was preparing for this exact moment, the empire looked at him startled, they barely even could process the fact and what consequences could the bottle pointing at them mean, yet the American was already challenging them!
"It seems like the bottle really hates our team” Italy commented, Japanese Empire didn't respond instead they just nodded
"Truth” they spoke up
“So, would you like to admit to those inhumane experiments?” America had that smug look on his face “日本語でお気軽にご回答ください (feel free to respond in Japanese)” he added, everyone in the room except for Japanese Empire looked at him in disbelief, America speaking fluent Japanese out of nowhere was a surprise that certainly no one expected, while Britain knew his son was bilingual to some extent he didn't expect it to go as far as Asian languages like Japanese. Yet despite the surprise no one spoke up, either because they didn't want to interrupt or didn't have the courage to.
Japanese Empire hesitated for a second but then spoke “わかった、認めるよ (Fine, I admit it)” they didn't want to give an answer too short and obvious so that everyone would understand what it meant but giving an answer too long would raise too many questions, this was the best way out of this situation, yet they weren't done “しかし、あなたの同盟国もそれほど良くはない (But your ally is no better)” does it contradict the earlier train of thought? Maybe it does, but to Japanese Empire it was clear that everyone would know this was just a comment instead of a continuation of the answer to the question.
“Not like I care, really” America answered, Japan then spun the bottle
It seemed like the bottle and Italy could somehow communicate and all those insults, slurs, remarks and probably made up words that were now new bottle-specific insults worked, as this time it landed on one of the Allies. To be exact, the oldest one, one with most experience and the one whose son was sitting in the exact same room, back in his days even the biggest and strongest empire - we all know it's the one and only Britain, or what he used to be called the British Empire. One could argue as he's the oldest he shouldn't be worried about these types of child's play at all, but it's a double edged sword, because it also means that he has the biggest amount of stuff that can be brought up from the past. He took a deep breath trying to keep his cool but it was quite the opposite, he was stressing, not to mention how his own son was in his room, he knew America too well, if that star boy wants to, he will eliminate Britain in a single sentence, no matter what he chooses it's over for him.
Finally after silence you could hear the American accent fill the empty room “So dear father, truth or dare” Britain didn't even have to look at his son to know he had that smile on his face, you could hear it through his voice and the way he speaks, the second he said that dear Britain knew it was over, might as well go out in style…
“Dare” he said, it didn't matter anymore, all he had to do was just wait for his demise. America let out a laugh, not a normal one but an evil one, he had been planning this since the very beginning, you'd expect the Allies to try and co-operate but no, the rivalry between a father and son was stronger than any alliance or enemies, it wasn't about which side wins it was about which family member stays in the game, and well, by the looks of it… it certainly isn't Briain “Just do it” he said in a defeated voice
“Ah, my apologies, it's just that, this dare is so… brilliant, magnificent, marvelous and excellent!” America said, the more he said the more Britain grew nervous, whatever his son came up with could either be genocide or the most simple thing ever and there was no inbetween, sweat dripped down from his face while his son smiled “How about you tell all of your kids you love them”
Britain froze, at this point he would much rather prefer for the dare to be committing genocide, sure genocide may be a horrible thing to do but it's not like he has basic human empathy towards the most and his only worry would be his reputation after the act, but saying I love you to all kids? The kids which he neglected all their life? No, that was too much, the task was too hard for him to overcome, even suicide would be a better option at this point “You son of a-” he was about to say but stopped as he realized he would be the bitch in question. Britain just stood up and walked out of the room shutting the door behind him, everyone watched, for a few minutes there was silence until one spoke up.
“What happened to being allies?” Reich said looking over at America
“What? There are no allies in this game!” America responded “Besides, stop being a hypocrite, you gave Italy a dare!”
“I just wanted to be sure…” Reich responded
“Yeah, yeah, besides it's not like Britain brought a lot to the table” America shrugged “Now let's continue” he said and spun the bottle
With the first contestant out, the idea of giving dares hard enough to make another rage quit started becoming more popular. It was once again up to the bottle to choose the fate of another, it seemed like it didn't like Reich's hypocrisy as it landed on him.
“So, truth or dare?” Italy spoke up, he was ready for his revenge against Reich, turns out the bottle was really on his side as the timing was perfect!
“Dare” Reich responded
“Great, so wouldn't you like to close up all the concentration camps and free all these people?” Italy looked at him, smile as bright as the sun itself
Reich looked over at his ally absolutely offended, to think that he would betray him like that! A truth was easy to dodge, just lie, that's enough, a dare on the other hand? You can't lie your way out of a dare “You're fired.” Reich got up and sat down in the corner of shame, it seems like friendly fire was on in this game of truth or dare, allies were striking down allies!
“FINALLY!!! I'M FREEE!!!” Italy cheered, which in fact made Reich even more offended, Italy didn't even hesitate to sit down right next to Soviet “Hi you guys, I'm on your side now just so you know!” he said, Soviet waved at him happily, as you can guess this act made Reich even more offended, so offended in fact that it probably needs to become a new word. Due to this fact Reich decided to come back and kick the bottle starting the next spin, after which he went back to his corner of shame.
This time it landed on Japanese Empire again, they were calm as ever as the bottle landed on them once before, yet this time they had to deploy the strategy, they analyzed that happened, the bottle seems to truly hate both America and Soviet and it's avoiding Italy after the insults, they knew Italy lied in the first round so it was time to-
Suddenly the door opened, it was Britain and like five other people, two of them carrying a couch, the other one a table, one of them also had a rug and the last one had an entire tea set. As Britain instructed them they put all of the stuff next to a wall and left, Britain sat down and started drinking “What?” he said and everyone was staring at him
“What are you even doing-” Italy asked
“Making a lounge for those who wish to continue watching” Britain said as he sipped on his tea, everyone continued to stare at him in silence before looking back at the bottle
“ITALY LIED IN FIRST ROUND! HE SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED!” Japanese Empire took the opportunity and yelled
“NO! N-NO I DIDN'T!” Italy tried to defend himself but everyone knew the truth
“Seems about right” America said “You did eliminate Reich the spin before this, so checks out” he shrugged, all Italy could do was just go sit down next to Britain
“Why don't you go that retard?” Britain asked as Italy sat down next to him
“I got fired, so I decided to join you guys” Italy responded
“Oh, okay, you can stay then I don't mind” Britain then gave Italy a cup of tea
“Now that this thing's over, Japan, truth or dare” America pointed at them
“Let's go with a dare this time, it can't be that bad…” Japanese Empire responded
“Stop invading countries for next hm… 50 years” America said
"YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY THAT!” Japanese Empire yelled
“Do you accept the dare or not? Wish to join Reich in that corner?” America asked, that smug smile of his coming back once again
“No, no… I accept… It's fine” Japanese Empire said as a single tear slowly and dramatically run down their cheek, all the beautiful memories of the invasions went through before their eyes in a span of few seconds, which was crazy as there were so many, to be taken away that privilege… yet it had to be done, for victory! They then spun the bottle, and it once again began its rounds.
It was between them three, if the bottle lands on Japanese Empire again one thing was known, that this game is incredibly rigged, how can you rig how a bottle spins? No one knows but clearly the Soviet and America have their way of doing so! Thankfully it either seemed like the game wasn't rigged or America was aware that it definitely would seem rigged if it landed on Japanese Empire again so instead fate chose him. Japanese Empire was ready to get revenge on America, giving him a dare or truth so impossibly hard he wouldn't pass it, and yet, before they could even say a word… they heard a sound of a thick Russian accent that made their blood boil every time, as every sentence that man spoke was utter nonsense and a step backwards for humanity, his words alone could make your IQ drop by 50.
“So, truth or dare?” Soviet spoke up for the first time during this entire game.
“How about a dare, kind sir?” America responded, those words kind sir were enough to tell this had been planned all along and was some weird scheme all against Japanese Empire, but what could they expect, after all you could say what even united them in the first place was the sheer hatred of Japan. America looked confident and proud of himself as if his every move and thought was preparations for this specific moment.
“Nuke Japanese Empire!” Soviet said, those words not only shocked America but Japan themselves, it seemed like there never was a plan and America just knew that Soviet would do something to keep him in the game, what he didn't expect was this, while yes it was the initial plan to do so one way or another how did Soviet even know about it?!
Yet this game was a play, and America had to continue the act “Well, a dare’s a dare!” he said as he took out the communication device ready to give orders
“WAIT- NO! YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT-” Japanese Empire yelled but it was to no avail, America was too set on winning this game of truth or dare that it didn't matter what possible consequences it would bring or how much Japan would beg
“Yeah, please mail my 2 newest babies to Japanese Empire's doorstep!” America said, Japan just gave up on life at this point, it was so over you couldn't even describe it with words…
They sat there for hours, until the order was fulfilled and the dare was proven to be done the game could not continue, in the meantime Britain refilled his tea countless of times and while talking with Italy he had thrown around like 15 different slurs as he usually does, Reich on the other hand left the room entirely and probably came back home a long time ago.
Finally after a while it was done, it was a split second before Japanese Empire passed out.
“The dare has been done” America said while looking at unconscious Japan, he was about to spin the bottle again when suddenly someone barged into the room.
“WHERE HAVE ALL OF YOU BEEN?!” a woman entered the room, her clothes in a questionable state, clearly she didn't have an occasion to get them fixed up, you could tell she was running here by the way she was practically gasping for air. Everyone stared at her surprised, they didn't know why she was here but they knew one thing - she wasn't invited to their little truth or dare game party!
“And what are you doing here?...” America asked, he then looked at Soviet who was taking out a gun
“How about we decide the winner by a game of russian roulette!” he said completely ignoring their new guest
"Oh you know me so well…” America almost shed a tear
“A winner?... Weren't you guys playing truth or dare?” the woman asked
“We were” Britain answered “Now France how about a cup of tea?”
“Are you guys aware that… there is no winner in truth or dare?...” France said and everyone looked at her in pure shock, so does this mean their entire game was… a lie?
“What do you mean?...” America asked as he just committed a war crime because he wanted to win the game
“If you don't do a dare or lie you just keep playing, there is no winner!” France said
“So I just killed Japanese Empire for no reason?...” America said
“YOU WHAT?!” France yelled
And so the deadly game of truth or dare came to an end, as it turned out, no one ever understood the rules in the first place which thankfully led to only one casualty but it also made Italy lose his job, but it's not like he cared, he hated every second of it anyway.
Everyone lived happily ever after… except for Japanese Empire who died that day but everyone agrees it was 100% deserved.